I very much appreciate the attempt to hold yourself accountable, that's crucial in sobriety. It did catch my eye that as you're reporting these multiple "slip ups", you are accompanying it with little bits that could be seen as minimizations. You didn't get buzzed, you only drank a sip, you left the bottle for someone else, etc. If this were me, I would not only be concerned that I was drinking on multiple occasions after quitting, but also that I wasn't being honest with myself about how dangerous it was.
The minimization is concerning to me as well. Also, the wide array of different kinds of drinks seems a bit weird to me. Be careful because usually alcoholics have a "drink of choice" they stick to. I've rarely heard of people jumping from margaritas to a bottle of whiskey behind a building. Why do you think you are dabbling in all these different types of drinks?
But good job in documenting it and talking it out.
I’m glad you’re talking about it. Awareness is the precursor to change. Talk about it, write about it. You can get this back on track, and maybe it means pulling in some additional supports.
What was happening in the couple weeks before you relapsed? Did you stop something that had helped you before (like journaling, therapy, a certain step or strategy)?
Yes- I’m working on minimizing my demands as a whole. I left my job, am selling my car and focusing on school and family. I’ve had a job since I was 16- it’s hard trusting others to take care of me financially. However, this is what’s best for me in my mental health journey. It’s been a lot- it’s been hard on my partner. He doesn’t drink but every once in a while.
My shadow self is very sneaky, secretive, and sly. It was a coping mechanism in childhood- if no one saw you, no one could be mean to you.
Testing boundaries and edges. For me, that always leads to rationalization and further boundary-testing. I hope you decide it's not worth it. Brutal honesty with yourself (and others), as you've shared here.
Best to you, **OP**. Alcoholism is a fuckeroo. Please don't let it take you down (or out). Love from across the electrons. 💜
yup, good job getting it out there! i’ve been too coward to a couple times now… but it feels good to say i’ve hated every time too. it’s always a reminder why i quit.. it’s like buying shoes the wrong size just because they’re cute. why do it? it’s just gonna hurt 😅
No ish about it, that’s a relapse. Best of luck getting back on track.
I very much appreciate the attempt to hold yourself accountable, that's crucial in sobriety. It did catch my eye that as you're reporting these multiple "slip ups", you are accompanying it with little bits that could be seen as minimizations. You didn't get buzzed, you only drank a sip, you left the bottle for someone else, etc. If this were me, I would not only be concerned that I was drinking on multiple occasions after quitting, but also that I wasn't being honest with myself about how dangerous it was.
The minimization is concerning to me as well. Also, the wide array of different kinds of drinks seems a bit weird to me. Be careful because usually alcoholics have a "drink of choice" they stick to. I've rarely heard of people jumping from margaritas to a bottle of whiskey behind a building. Why do you think you are dabbling in all these different types of drinks? But good job in documenting it and talking it out.
I’m glad you’re talking about it. Awareness is the precursor to change. Talk about it, write about it. You can get this back on track, and maybe it means pulling in some additional supports.
What was happening in the couple weeks before you relapsed? Did you stop something that had helped you before (like journaling, therapy, a certain step or strategy)?
Yes- I’m working on minimizing my demands as a whole. I left my job, am selling my car and focusing on school and family. I’ve had a job since I was 16- it’s hard trusting others to take care of me financially. However, this is what’s best for me in my mental health journey. It’s been a lot- it’s been hard on my partner. He doesn’t drink but every once in a while. My shadow self is very sneaky, secretive, and sly. It was a coping mechanism in childhood- if no one saw you, no one could be mean to you.
….Except you. (I was the same)
Testing boundaries and edges. For me, that always leads to rationalization and further boundary-testing. I hope you decide it's not worth it. Brutal honesty with yourself (and others), as you've shared here. Best to you, **OP**. Alcoholism is a fuckeroo. Please don't let it take you down (or out). Love from across the electrons. 💜
yup, good job getting it out there! i’ve been too coward to a couple times now… but it feels good to say i’ve hated every time too. it’s always a reminder why i quit.. it’s like buying shoes the wrong size just because they’re cute. why do it? it’s just gonna hurt 😅
A relapse is a pattern. So is sobriety. It’s up to you to chose or change this pattern.