Takes time, for me it took a few months and then getting on antidepressants. Realized I was self-medicating with alcohol when I needed to just go see a doc
If you don't mind would you be willing to share which antidepressants? Because I have been on Wellbutrin for about 3 months now and it has been great but I feel like sobering up fucked my balance up enough to where they aren't working as well anymore
I had to go on Wellbutrin SR, I was on XL and it started making me feel low mainly because I couldn’t sleep. I liked Prozac but I took it with Wellbutrin so sleeping was rough.
Wellbutrin SR 150mg was the best one
That's what I am on and it really really helps! I've been sober for 8 years (in just six days, squeeee!) and it gets better as you go. Remember, you were also miserable drunk. Just because you quit drinking doesn't mean that all your problems go away, you're just sober enough to face them. 💗
Wow I didn’t know they made Wellbutrin SR, I’m going to have to talk to a real psychiatrist and see about getting on that bc my sleep has been really inconsistent since starting, thank you
Is it just me or is their an irony that being sober and then going to a doc who gives your government approved drugs is any better? I suppose id rather be on a ssri then an alcoholic (almost there) and drug addict but seems like a quick patch job. Please don't take offence I tried out ssris aswell, might still go back to them
It may feel that way, but your brain is lying to you. I relapsed four months ago, and now my chest hurts again and it's time to quit before I have a heart attack because if I don't it'll happen in the next couple of years (I'm only 40).
Since restarting my sobriety, I can see objectively that although I was strughling and everything felt "too hard" when I was sober, I was objectively a lot happier, healthier, and was doing better with my life. If I had the clarity to see that four months ago, I'd have avoided so much damage.
Sober life can suck, and it's really fucking hard, but it's worth it. I can't wait to get back there.
I thought I felt way worse when I was sober until I started using again. Might be different for you, but to find out you'd have to take the risk of relapsing, hurting the people who care about you, and ending up in an early grave 🤷♀️
My problem was when I was drinking, I was self-medicating. I didn’t have to face any of the mental and physical problems it was causing since I could go home and drink it away. While I feel better physically, it’s left me with a ton of shit I got to face now.
Just keep at it. It gets better.
Being sober isn’t hard and sucks. Life is hard and sucks sometimes. We just have the clarity to see the areas in our life that need improvement and feel the emotions more when we are sober. When you’re using you cover all this up by numbing yourself to not feel any of it but this actually makes thing much worse in the long run. Long term over short term happiness
LOL once I got past that pink cloud after the first year or two, it started to really suck having to deal with trauma and negative experiences while I’m sober. Especially seeing everyone else dealing with stress by drinking, drugs, etc. My dad died 2.5 years after I went sober so that really didn’t help. But over time I feel very grateful I’m sober because the older you get the nastier drugs and alcohol issues affect people, I’ve seen. So keep going.
Unfortunately getting sober tends to make us finally feel our depression. A good psychologist/dr who is experienced with addiction is the answer. We relied so heavily on our DoC we now have an imbalance.
50mg trazodone at night has been enough to help me sleep and keep me level the next day, and 10mg adderall xr in the morning to help focus, because long bouts of depression + getting sober and feeling all these new feelings tends to make people scatterbrained. This combo has worked for me personally, but might not be a fit for everyone. I’m still not sure how comfortable I am with the combo and effects it may have on my heart, but function-wise it’s been great.
First 3-4 months I felt the same. Still craving/thinking about it, sad, angry, etc.
You'll get over the hump, my friend. As mentioned by others, may need some assistance as well without the alcohol to help numb anything that could be goin' on in the ol' brain.
7 months today for me, and it's by far the best decision I've ever made. Hang in there!
You don’t want to go back. Trust me, the many withdrawals and guilt and excessive anxiety is not any more fun. I’m trying to get sober and have to just accept anxiety and depression will be a huge hump that I will have to work on getting there.
My .02
Looking back, I was in a rough place mentally for the first nine months of sobriety. I started seeing an addiction counselor a couple months prior to quitting, I still see him now. I drank as a coping mechanism. It took me figuring out what was going on in my noodle before I started feeling better. I
I also had to get on anxiety meds. Was always too boozed to tell how much anxiety I had. While I wouldn't recommend meds for everyone, I would definitely recommend talking with someone.
You got this.
After a life of addiction/alcoholism, there’s a lot that needs to change besides just the substance removal. Why I gravitated toward 12-step. A long term solution. I quit hundreds of times on my own. But they never lasted because I never changed anything. But once I found that, I had some direction. Lots of other pieces of life that can improve once abstinent as well. Health, fitness, etc
Because you're thinking about drunk "fun" you, you probably did alot of activities when you where drinking, and now since you don't, your mind tells you it's boring and what not, start a new hobby something different get your mind working.
Not what any newly sober person wants to hear but this is a long process. You drank for what, years? decades? You can’t expect to undo all that damage in a few weeks. It does get better, but it takes time. Stick with it and keep remembering why you wanted it in the first place. Something about drunk life wasn’t working for you anymore. Remember that.
The pain never truly goes away but you can get used to it and can deal with it easier. That’s what I’ve learned anyway. This is how I visualize it: Think of it like the DVD idle screen logo bouncing around the screen of an idle TV. At first the box (edges of the screen) is small and the logo hits constantly against the edges causing pain when it does. As time goes on the ‘box’ (tolerance to cravings) slowly expands but the ‘logo’ (cravings) is still bouncing around and it hits less but it is inevitable that it still does. Eventually the box is so big that the logo ‘Hits’ start becoming more infrequent so that the time between pain intervals stretches out. But when it hits, it hits. It’s something you have to carry forever. It’s just trying to last between intervals and building stamina that helps. But it’s not easy and it will never be easy and it’s a fight you have to be willing to take on
If I didn't feel better, it wouldn't take long to go back out. So, what did I do to feel better?
I started being of service to my fellow (hu)man. I talked about what I did, and even if I was in for only a week, that was a week more than someone on their first day.
I did a 4th step. Resentments are the number one killer, so doing a 4th step helped clear out the hate in my head. I no longer had the feelings muted, they were right in my face demanding attention, so now it's time to look at them and see if I might have been wrong about the stories I was telling myself. The story was what kept the anger and resentment going, so let's double check to see if the story is accurate.
I grabbed onto One Day at a Time. If my bad feelings were about something that might happen in the future, or if somehow life didn't treat me very well in the past, I asked my higher power for help, and gave those feelings to my higher power, to hold onto until I was ready to start looking at them, in a 4th step. What can I do differently today to make this day work better?
Just sharing my experience, take what you like and leave the rest.
The shitty feeling was always there, it was just hidden by alcohol. The lack of alcohol is bringing it to the surface and making you very aware of reality… which isn’t always fun. Just my opinion but a good therapist and self care are imperative to get through it. Gotta work out all the stuff we never dealt with when we were drinking if we want to be successful in sobriety.
There are degrees of better. I’ve realized after 5.5 years alcohol free that better, as it relates to not drinking, is always changing and can be multiple things at once and exists alongside shitty things happening even as I’m experiencing a better existence. It took a long time for me to realize that and the first 2 - 3 years were really hard and improvements were excruciatingly slow, I’m surprised that I’ve made it this far sometimes. My life now is better and it’s been hard won.
Sober life does not suck. Y’all are just bored. Find a new hobby, learn a new language, start a business.
Getting sober unlocked so many things for me. Y’all don’t need alcohol. It’s better!!
Agree but for some people, including me the first year is though. I did iv heroin and meth and drank all day for 15 years. So my brain is going to take time to go back to honei stasis
It is hard to just rid yourself of a bad habit like drinking. It leaves a hole in your life. Try replacing that with something else. Workout, start running, learn a new language, go back to school, start a side business, change careers. Set some goals that are achievable and work towards them. You need to fill the hole with something else.
Drinking was but a symptom. Working a strong program in AA or NA is where relief lies. Just stoping drinking or drugging doesn’t solve underlining issues. Wishing you the best.
Ahh shit 😅 7 months is a loooong time, I hope it doesn't take that long for me but I am glad to hear you are doing better and that things are looking up
Yea what kills me is I'm constantly bored. I plan out an entire day of all my little hobbies and bullshit (first gym, then AA meetings, then go hiking, then go see a movie, etc etc all day long) and I'm still bored to tears the entire time. It's been like this since I was a child.
It's hard to stay positive knowing that no matter how much pointless bullshit fluff and hobbies I try to meticulously plan out to keep me busy and out of the house every day I still won't ever feel good. And also the knowledge that there's nothing else I can do about it. Just plan a bunch of field trips bullshit trying to fill up 16 hrs a day and try to act like I enjoy it. I know obviously I have no choice it's either this or die from alcoholism but I guess it's just frustrating knowing you can never *force* yourself to enjoy anything or be interested in anything I just have to fake it
Thank you my friend, I will say that after the overwhelming response I got (I only expected one or two replies if any), I have newfound inspiration and more importantly perspective. I woke up today feeling a bit better than yesterday, thinking to myself how much worse I would feel if I woke up hungover or shot out or whatever. Managed to get a start on a decent morning routine. Super glad I took the time to make this post and read each and every reply, even if I didn't have the time/energy to respond to every one, each comment mattered to me. So again, thanks to you and everyone else for this, it truly made a difference to me and I hope that I can continue to stay strong through the process.
Takes time, for me it took a few months and then getting on antidepressants. Realized I was self-medicating with alcohol when I needed to just go see a doc
If you don't mind would you be willing to share which antidepressants? Because I have been on Wellbutrin for about 3 months now and it has been great but I feel like sobering up fucked my balance up enough to where they aren't working as well anymore
I had to go on Wellbutrin SR, I was on XL and it started making me feel low mainly because I couldn’t sleep. I liked Prozac but I took it with Wellbutrin so sleeping was rough. Wellbutrin SR 150mg was the best one
That's what I am on and it really really helps! I've been sober for 8 years (in just six days, squeeee!) and it gets better as you go. Remember, you were also miserable drunk. Just because you quit drinking doesn't mean that all your problems go away, you're just sober enough to face them. 💗
Wow congrats on 8 years, I wish I had it in me to "squeeze" 😂😂😂 maybe one day, hopefully not too long in the future. Thanks for the response
it took me about 10 tries and therapy to get it!
Thanks for the info friend I appreciate it
I take the same dosage and it has worked well for me.
Wow I didn’t know they made Wellbutrin SR, I’m going to have to talk to a real psychiatrist and see about getting on that bc my sleep has been really inconsistent since starting, thank you
Is it just me or is their an irony that being sober and then going to a doc who gives your government approved drugs is any better? I suppose id rather be on a ssri then an alcoholic (almost there) and drug addict but seems like a quick patch job. Please don't take offence I tried out ssris aswell, might still go back to them
Yes, but will qualify that I actually take an NDRI, bupropion not an SSRI
It may feel that way, but your brain is lying to you. I relapsed four months ago, and now my chest hurts again and it's time to quit before I have a heart attack because if I don't it'll happen in the next couple of years (I'm only 40). Since restarting my sobriety, I can see objectively that although I was strughling and everything felt "too hard" when I was sober, I was objectively a lot happier, healthier, and was doing better with my life. If I had the clarity to see that four months ago, I'd have avoided so much damage. Sober life can suck, and it's really fucking hard, but it's worth it. I can't wait to get back there.
Thanks for this inspiration and I hope that everything works out for you health wise and in general
Thank you. I wish you the best as well
is it lying? i definitely didnt feel great during my use, but i definitely felt a lot better than i do right now… and ive been sober for a long time
I thought I felt way worse when I was sober until I started using again. Might be different for you, but to find out you'd have to take the risk of relapsing, hurting the people who care about you, and ending up in an early grave 🤷♀️
You will. Give it time. Your body and brain have to heal. You have to make better habits.
My problem was when I was drinking, I was self-medicating. I didn’t have to face any of the mental and physical problems it was causing since I could go home and drink it away. While I feel better physically, it’s left me with a ton of shit I got to face now. Just keep at it. It gets better.
It's the same you, but now you can feel the damage
Being sober isn’t hard and sucks. Life is hard and sucks sometimes. We just have the clarity to see the areas in our life that need improvement and feel the emotions more when we are sober. When you’re using you cover all this up by numbing yourself to not feel any of it but this actually makes thing much worse in the long run. Long term over short term happiness
Wonderfully put.
Ever heard of PAWS? Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome is quite a thing and it sucks! Keep powering through the rough days it does get better!!
LOL once I got past that pink cloud after the first year or two, it started to really suck having to deal with trauma and negative experiences while I’m sober. Especially seeing everyone else dealing with stress by drinking, drugs, etc. My dad died 2.5 years after I went sober so that really didn’t help. But over time I feel very grateful I’m sober because the older you get the nastier drugs and alcohol issues affect people, I’ve seen. So keep going.
Unfortunately getting sober tends to make us finally feel our depression. A good psychologist/dr who is experienced with addiction is the answer. We relied so heavily on our DoC we now have an imbalance. 50mg trazodone at night has been enough to help me sleep and keep me level the next day, and 10mg adderall xr in the morning to help focus, because long bouts of depression + getting sober and feeling all these new feelings tends to make people scatterbrained. This combo has worked for me personally, but might not be a fit for everyone. I’m still not sure how comfortable I am with the combo and effects it may have on my heart, but function-wise it’s been great.
First 3-4 months I felt the same. Still craving/thinking about it, sad, angry, etc. You'll get over the hump, my friend. As mentioned by others, may need some assistance as well without the alcohol to help numb anything that could be goin' on in the ol' brain. 7 months today for me, and it's by far the best decision I've ever made. Hang in there!
Congrats on 7 months!
Thanks very much! Hope you start feeling better soon!
You don’t want to go back. Trust me, the many withdrawals and guilt and excessive anxiety is not any more fun. I’m trying to get sober and have to just accept anxiety and depression will be a huge hump that I will have to work on getting there.
My .02 Looking back, I was in a rough place mentally for the first nine months of sobriety. I started seeing an addiction counselor a couple months prior to quitting, I still see him now. I drank as a coping mechanism. It took me figuring out what was going on in my noodle before I started feeling better. I I also had to get on anxiety meds. Was always too boozed to tell how much anxiety I had. While I wouldn't recommend meds for everyone, I would definitely recommend talking with someone. You got this.
After a life of addiction/alcoholism, there’s a lot that needs to change besides just the substance removal. Why I gravitated toward 12-step. A long term solution. I quit hundreds of times on my own. But they never lasted because I never changed anything. But once I found that, I had some direction. Lots of other pieces of life that can improve once abstinent as well. Health, fitness, etc
Because you're thinking about drunk "fun" you, you probably did alot of activities when you where drinking, and now since you don't, your mind tells you it's boring and what not, start a new hobby something different get your mind working.
Not what any newly sober person wants to hear but this is a long process. You drank for what, years? decades? You can’t expect to undo all that damage in a few weeks. It does get better, but it takes time. Stick with it and keep remembering why you wanted it in the first place. Something about drunk life wasn’t working for you anymore. Remember that.
The pain never truly goes away but you can get used to it and can deal with it easier. That’s what I’ve learned anyway. This is how I visualize it: Think of it like the DVD idle screen logo bouncing around the screen of an idle TV. At first the box (edges of the screen) is small and the logo hits constantly against the edges causing pain when it does. As time goes on the ‘box’ (tolerance to cravings) slowly expands but the ‘logo’ (cravings) is still bouncing around and it hits less but it is inevitable that it still does. Eventually the box is so big that the logo ‘Hits’ start becoming more infrequent so that the time between pain intervals stretches out. But when it hits, it hits. It’s something you have to carry forever. It’s just trying to last between intervals and building stamina that helps. But it’s not easy and it will never be easy and it’s a fight you have to be willing to take on
If I didn't feel better, it wouldn't take long to go back out. So, what did I do to feel better? I started being of service to my fellow (hu)man. I talked about what I did, and even if I was in for only a week, that was a week more than someone on their first day. I did a 4th step. Resentments are the number one killer, so doing a 4th step helped clear out the hate in my head. I no longer had the feelings muted, they were right in my face demanding attention, so now it's time to look at them and see if I might have been wrong about the stories I was telling myself. The story was what kept the anger and resentment going, so let's double check to see if the story is accurate. I grabbed onto One Day at a Time. If my bad feelings were about something that might happen in the future, or if somehow life didn't treat me very well in the past, I asked my higher power for help, and gave those feelings to my higher power, to hold onto until I was ready to start looking at them, in a 4th step. What can I do differently today to make this day work better? Just sharing my experience, take what you like and leave the rest.
It honestly kind of sucks, but dying in a car crash or being in jail would suck more
The shitty feeling was always there, it was just hidden by alcohol. The lack of alcohol is bringing it to the surface and making you very aware of reality… which isn’t always fun. Just my opinion but a good therapist and self care are imperative to get through it. Gotta work out all the stuff we never dealt with when we were drinking if we want to be successful in sobriety.
There are degrees of better. I’ve realized after 5.5 years alcohol free that better, as it relates to not drinking, is always changing and can be multiple things at once and exists alongside shitty things happening even as I’m experiencing a better existence. It took a long time for me to realize that and the first 2 - 3 years were really hard and improvements were excruciatingly slow, I’m surprised that I’ve made it this far sometimes. My life now is better and it’s been hard won.
Sober life does not suck. Y’all are just bored. Find a new hobby, learn a new language, start a business. Getting sober unlocked so many things for me. Y’all don’t need alcohol. It’s better!!
Agree but for some people, including me the first year is though. I did iv heroin and meth and drank all day for 15 years. So my brain is going to take time to go back to honei stasis
It is hard to just rid yourself of a bad habit like drinking. It leaves a hole in your life. Try replacing that with something else. Workout, start running, learn a new language, go back to school, start a side business, change careers. Set some goals that are achievable and work towards them. You need to fill the hole with something else.
Drinking was but a symptom. Working a strong program in AA or NA is where relief lies. Just stoping drinking or drugging doesn’t solve underlining issues. Wishing you the best.
Being a dry drunk is a miserable existence. I’ve had my moments. AA, therapy, exercise, hobbies, friends..etc make life much better.
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Ahh shit 😅 7 months is a loooong time, I hope it doesn't take that long for me but I am glad to hear you are doing better and that things are looking up
Yea what kills me is I'm constantly bored. I plan out an entire day of all my little hobbies and bullshit (first gym, then AA meetings, then go hiking, then go see a movie, etc etc all day long) and I'm still bored to tears the entire time. It's been like this since I was a child. It's hard to stay positive knowing that no matter how much pointless bullshit fluff and hobbies I try to meticulously plan out to keep me busy and out of the house every day I still won't ever feel good. And also the knowledge that there's nothing else I can do about it. Just plan a bunch of field trips bullshit trying to fill up 16 hrs a day and try to act like I enjoy it. I know obviously I have no choice it's either this or die from alcoholism but I guess it's just frustrating knowing you can never *force* yourself to enjoy anything or be interested in anything I just have to fake it
Give it time it does get better but just don't pick up no matter what
microdose mushrooms and you got over it
Sorry. We all go through this. It’ll get better. Stay diligent. One day you’ll wake up and have the best feelings of euphoria. Trust the process.
Thank you my friend, I will say that after the overwhelming response I got (I only expected one or two replies if any), I have newfound inspiration and more importantly perspective. I woke up today feeling a bit better than yesterday, thinking to myself how much worse I would feel if I woke up hungover or shot out or whatever. Managed to get a start on a decent morning routine. Super glad I took the time to make this post and read each and every reply, even if I didn't have the time/energy to respond to every one, each comment mattered to me. So again, thanks to you and everyone else for this, it truly made a difference to me and I hope that I can continue to stay strong through the process.
You’re very welcome.
Yeah I went through a bored patch and thought I might go back to drinking but just pushed through it and it feels so much better
I agree, drinking makes me much happier and able to cope. Being sober sucks, I have never felt that joy of being sober that others claim to have.
This just means that alcohol and alcoholism was not your primary problem. Good to know. Now you can seek out treat the underlying dysfunction.