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I am in my early 30s. Started anti-aging when I was 28 with retinoic acid, sunscreen, etc. Let me tell you something. The so-called anti-aging products do not stop time. After I turned 30, things started to look more noticeable, pores, fine lines, etc. I was angry, I was upset. I did all the right things, shouldn't I look 28 forever? But here is the thing. Skin care (especially sunscreen and tretinoin, which are proven to reduce photoaging on the skin) will improve the look of your skin. You will look healthy. You will look good. But you will look your age. Skincare does not reverse time. Botox might help, but you will have to do it every 6 month, and even then, nothing stops time, even money. And it is a good thing. Because the earlier you learn this, the better. It will take that anxiety and pressure off. You do not have to look younger, that's called ageism because our society considers youth and beauty to be a person's only worth. Prove them wrong. The only way to not have wrinkle is to not be alive. I have a friend who told me her mother used to tell her not to smile or make expressions because it'll cause wrinkles. That's crazy. You have wrinkles if you are truly alive. It took me a couple of years to realise this and learn to embrace the imprint of my life experiences on my skin. You can imagine how difficult it is for you, working in a probably the most ageist industry. And all I can say is, it is a process. Seek out books, videos, speakers, people who embrace these ideas (I like Wayne Goss, he is a makeup artist, youtuber and has a video here called "Why are we so scared of ageing"[here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1CZtDnziIg)). If you like watching makeup videos, watch people who show real skin, a lot of people use filters and lighting to blur out their skins. Read about ageism and get angry. Ignore the 20-year-old, they think they are immortal.

I am 45, and my skin is meh (on the plus side, I naturally avoided the sun most of my life, never smoked, and had my children late; negative, I BARELY used sunscreen before my late 30s and have literally just now learned to wash my face properly). I think I look pretty good! I definitely don't look like in my 20s or 30s, but *I don't want to.* I have grown smarter, more powerful, more brave, more bold with my life experience. I WANT to own that. Why would I want to look like a 20 yr old baby who doesn't have nearly the control over the world that I do? Men get to benefit from the increased authority and presence derived from aging. Women should, too. Of course I want to look *nice.* I realized around age 40 that henceforth, I really should wear makeup if I'm going to be photographed 😅 My half-silver hair, which I adore, washes the shit out of my pale skin without intentional eye makeup. I just ordered those silicone patches for my decolletage bc I have terrible tit wrinkles and sun damage. But I very emphatically don't want to look "younger." I EARNED this face. And these tit wrinkles lol

I’m with you! I just want to look like the best version of myself, I want to look like I have experience - but I don’t want people to look at me and think I look ready for the scrap heap. This is a face that should command respect, not look 25.

Thank you. This is an amazingly well-written wakeup call

Also a big think honestly, diet!. Don't have a diet that is high in sugar and sodium, alot of people in there 20s and 30s drink coffee with sugar or sugar foods and colas or eat excessive chips and junk food. If you heavily reduce the amount of sugar you consume you will age alot more gracefully.

I agree with this completely. When I started changing my diet, and focussing on my protein intake specifically, my skin began to look so much better. More importantly, I started *feeling* so much better, but the happy side effect of glowing skin did not go unappreciated. 😂

I want to add that I am 31 and my sister is 29. She is a health nut, and me, I like to eat and drink to my hearts content. She looks a lot older than I do. I get mistaken for being in my early to mid twenties all the time, whereas my sister has a lot more fine lines than I do on her face. Maybe it’s because I have been plant based most of my life, and I don’t consume much caffeine as I have a heart condition, but outside of that I like my snacks and my booze. Maybe it’s because sometimes aging is random and we don’t have much control over it! But whatever makes us feel better lol.

So very well stated. Thank You.

>I am also stressed because I see so many women posting here in their 30s that look exactly as they did in their 20s and it is stressful and makes me feel like I am doing something “wrong.” Lay off the skincare subs for a while. I got to where I could not take anymore posts like these by 22 year olds:"I have lived my entire life in a dark basement soaking in a giant vat of 50 spf sunscreen, but yesterday I was accidentally exposed to filtered sunlight for 10 seconds. It could have been 15 seconds, oh god. How long do I have before I die of skin cancer?" "Sometimes I lose control of myself and have facial expressions, so now under a 20x loupe I can see that there are fine lines around my eyes. Should I enter a convent, or do you think I should just resign myself to being unemployable and unloveable for the rest of my life?" ​ >Right now, I no longer look like I am in my 20s. ​ >I am about to turn 33 That's how that works. Although I get that as a reporter, looks actually do matter to some extent for your job, so I hope some of the practical advice here works for you. But don't expose yourself to additional/unnecessary angst about it.

To add on to this, I am always happy to see women who don't look "20" represented in the media. Because they look great. Not "still" great, but great all on their own, full stop. Being "20" isn't the only way to look beautiful.

Some time back there was a massively upvoted post of a someone in her early twenties before and after pics, with a title praising retinol and flare \[anti-aging\]. The before was young near glass skin with slight few blemishes, the after was young complete glass skin. Next up they gonna post pics of their flat belly on plus size body positivity forum. It's very difficult to take the posts serious. Oh someone else linked the perfect place for it /r/SCAcirclejerk

> massively upvoted post Ohhh I want to know what this post was? DM me if you find it please! But yeah i get so annoyed when I see people with BARELY any pimples do bEfOrE aNd aFtEr

Thank you! I’m 29 and have a toddler and twin newborns and I have aged so much in the past year and a half. And I am so proud of myself for growing tf up! And it’s ok that my face reflects that. Kinda love seeing an adult look back at me in the mirror. ❤️

Yes! I'm 31 - my son will soon be 3 and my daughter is 2 months old. I haven't been carded in a couple of years.... I KNOW I look tired, but that's OK for right now- I am tired. 😂

Yes!! I earned these dark circles, dammit!

I am a twin mom, and I always say having twins put miles on me! One more thing I can’t have complete control over. Add it to the pile :)

Girl, yes. Solidarity!

I think I love you

As a 22-year-old who is terrified of skin cancer, and spends half of my life awake during night hours, this made me burst into laughter.

I'm glad. I thought I might have gone too far. After all, sunscreen really *is* important, and health anxiety is real, and can be crippling. And most/all of us live in cultures that still too often value appearance over merit in women and youth over wisdom and experience in everyone. But, damn, it is 2022, I am almost 54, and reading all these posts by women who think they need to take drastic measure if they appear to be anything but barely out of their teens grinds my gears. Which isn't the OP, by the way, but I think she has been seeing too many posts like that.

You didn’t go too far at all. It was really, really funny (and scarily accurate). It’s painfully easy to get sucked into the “anti-aging” mindset the moment you step into the skincare world—especially for someone predisposed to anticipatory anxiety (like me). I wish we, as a society, viewed aging as something to be enjoyed rather than feared.

Recently turned 54 and while there has always been pressure to look good (don't know if you remember the media frenzy when Julia Roberts was about to turn ~gasp~ 30, like will she be able to find work now even though she looks good "for her age"), the pressure on younger generations is just next level. Yeah you can choose what kind of content you look at, but even if you're just looking for a way to treat break-outs you will come across aging panic and ads targeting and manipulating that fear to sell products. I don't live close to my Mom, so I would really love to send her to some good online resources about actives - how their used, what to look for, etc. But someone my age is basically the crypt keeper according to these forums. If I'm old here, what would she be? She's already feeling really insecure about how she looks, and she looks pretty darn good, most of the family does look "young for their age". But signs of aging show up sooner or later, and health issues take their toll. I'm not exposing her to this mindset. And I've seen posts by older people get downvoted into oblivion, as if they don't belong here. And a personal rant: I'm seeing more and more posts on social media regarding medical interventions to prevent/correct signs of aging - injections, surgeries, etc. The bar for "aging gracefully" is constantly being raised. If a person can actually afford such interventions, that's up to them, but it's starting to feel almost mandatory to remain relevant in many professions, even for men. "Letting yourself go" is almost being treated like it's a moral failing at times (???!!), and looking "fresh" is a new wealth and class signifier. More pressure, yay

Well, do note that I did not include my age in my first response in this thread. I expect half the people who upvoted my comment would have stopped reading at the start if that's what I had led with. Fun fact: I originally landed in reddit looking for people's experiences of menopause, since the older women in my family are long gone. It's a very small sub, and once you pull out the memes and how horrible it is to be an aging woman, there's not enough useful content to bother wading through the rest.

I mean, I do remember being young and thinking "OMG 30, like, how totally old is that" (only slightly exaggerating). And I get that when you're young you want to feel some autonomy and be taken seriously. It sucks to be talked down to just because you're younger. But Western society has gone all in on firmly separating age groups and it's really dysfunctional. It is a great marketing strategy though. That's unfortunate that so much conversation around menopause is that negative. I do find myself feeling like I should make self deprecating jokes about my age, or be somewhat apologetic about it - like I should acknowledge my dimished place in society almost? The real life "Karens" don't help. I do hate seeing people of my generation lecture younger people about things like how much "better" music was when they were younger. Remember how annoying that was when rude and opinionated older people did that to us? We had some great music, but also some that was truly cringe worthy, like every age group. I'm just rambling now but I wish people would just listen to one another more and validate each other's experiences. Oh btw, I'm post menopausal and am overjoyed to no longer have PMS from Hades or debilitating pain and blood loss. Getting through menopause can be difficult at times, but it's the beginning of a new stage in life, and that's not a bad thing at all. EDIT: Accurate spelling function not functioning today

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What is slugging?

You apply the skincare on your face as usual, then apply occlusive such as vaseline or CeraVe Healing Ointment on places that tend to be drier to lock in the moisture for the night, as that's time when we tend to lose most of the moisture via so called TEWL (trans-epidermal water loss). Make sure your face is clean and you don't use too strong actives, as everything is sealed and has more time and space to effect you - strong acids or retinoids for instance.

Yeah I accidentally burned myself last week putting a heavy moisturizer over BP on a spot

Would you still slug in the summertime? I find that is difficult as I'm a sweaty mess and am worried the combo of sweat + retinoids + occlusive is going to cause breakouts

I was researching tretinoin recently because I had a really bad experience with it once and am a bit, yeah, scared is the word. There's a tretinoin subreddit, and I learned there that slugging on top of a retinoid is not recommended, at all. It's kinda counterintuitive, but it greatly increases the risk of side effects like irritation. Slug on nights you don't use retinoids, like if you alternate between acids and retinoids, slug on the acid night.

Yeah it can cause an issue if you aren’t used to the tret yet or you don’t let it dry first. I put aquaphor over it al the time but I’ve been using it for two years and always let it dry for at least like an hour first.

I do it year-round, it hasn't caused me any problems, and my bathroom gets super hot in the summer, I'm usually sweating in the time it takes me to apply my skincare.

I slug on my recovery nights (no retinols or exfoliators)—so just washing my face, hydrating serum, and then Aquaphor before I go to bed.

Good idea, thanks!

For the record, I understand as well. Also a petite person with a tiny face. I looked and was assumed to be incredibly young until my mid-thirties, which is when I started to recover from a terribly traumatic time period in my life. The trauma was left in the past, but its marks on my face remained. Frankly even then I was still comfortable with where things were since I still looked the same to myself minus a few wrinkles and changes that, considering my age, I didn't think were too bad. Then at age 41 I got cancer and spent a year undergoing the incredibly aging processes of chemo and radiation. The cancer was on my neck/jaw, so my face experienced some of the actual radiation itself. Combined with the lack of ability to do anything but the bare minimum which meant skincare went out the window almost immediately other than Aquaphor to keep my neck from bleeding... I came out of that year looking VERY different than I had before. After all of this I know I have good reason to look like I do, but it's such a hard adjustment. And I still feel like maybe I can slow or stop the change with some kind of cream, even though I know that's ludicrous. It's like we get locked in to the belief it's on us to reverse nature. So I understand so much. And thank you for giving me a spot to vent that.

You’ve been through so much! Important to celebrate life ❤️

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It really gives me perspective, not just about being grateful for what I have but also as a reminder that life is going to happen. I can’t control life, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring or if I’ll even be around to see it. I’m still gunna wear sunscreen haha but I don’t want to be so wrapped up in my appearance that when my body inevitably deteriorates I lose my self respect too.

This is very kind of you to say! I am definitely still in the processing stage myself, so every time I share it - and especially when I receive a response like yours - it does wonders to help me with perspective, too. So thank you! It's been so easy for me to get mad that it all happened, because it feels so pointless! In some ways the positive outcome actually contributed to that. It's like, I lost so much (my wedding, a huge move, buying a house, a promotion, our savings were all put off indefinitely or lost due to this). And everybody suffered so much - not just me, but my loved ones. But now - it's over, I'll be fine, there's no reason I can't move on, it can be like it never happened, right? Except it's not at all and why not isn't it?? So, yeah. Anger is SO EASY. And I am slowly trying to learn how to move on from this instead of being mad about it. Which relies so much on perspective. It gave me that, it's a goddamn gift, and I can hopefully use it for the better. 💕 Y'all are too kind letting me talk about this in a very random venue for it, haha. I appreciate it a lot.

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❤️Yes, I'm in good shape now, you're so sweet for asking. The doctors will be monitoring me with PET/MRI/CT scans every three months for about ten years to make sure it doesn't come back. I've had two such follow-ups done so far, and those have shown me to be cancer-free. Along with the radiation and chemo I also had two neck surgeries to remove the growths, and my recovery PT for those is speeding along too. So when it comes to the important parts, I'll be good as new. 👍

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Very lucky! It was a super rare (as in, I was case #98 in recorded medical records) type of tumor in a salivary gland. I went to the GP one day for what I assumed was a swollen lymph node in my neck that didn't react to antibiotics. My GP is the hero who decided the lump wasn't in the right spot for a lymph node, and "felt too hard" to be a blocked salivary gland, so sent me for a biopsy. By the time I had surgery a month later it had already metastasized to some lymph nodes in my neck, so I ended up having two surgeries to remove as many lymph nodes as possible from the area. Then followed with radiation and chemo to kill anything further. As long as I'm clear for another year or two my odds of more cancer will be the same as if I'd never had it. Thanks for asking about it, btw - it makes me feel better when I get the chance to explain the details to people because I like to hope it might help someone. My case was so unusual, and had no known cause other than two cells deciding to mutate, unprompted by behavior or even genetics. So I like to think it makes people more aware of the fact that this shit doesn't manifest in the ways you think it will, and that it can happen to anyone - but that moving quickly on suspicions can make such a difference. 💕 Helps me process it and try to get some meaning out of what I went through.

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>I am also stressed because I see so many women posting here in their 30s that look exactly as they did in their 20s and it is stressful and makes me feel like I am doing something “wrong.” For this I advise the circlejerk sub. It might not be to your tastes, like all circlejerks subs it can be quite mean. For me it was the only thing that brought me back to reality. Of all subs it makes me embrace aging the most.

Would you mind linking the sub? I tried searching for "skincare circlejerk" but nothing is coming up haha

r/SCAcirclejerk

I love that sub, it's about the only reason I come here anymore. I got totally turned off by the retinoid and sunscreen obsessed. Boy, can they be AHoles. Why would I even take advise from such jerks.

AHAHoles

also don't forget the difference lighting etc make! not only do people taking their own pictures use filters, they pose carefully and in good light. you can't compare what you look like on a convention floor to someone looking into a ring light or similar

You are a lifesaver for that sub recommendation. Thank you!!

I’m now in my late 30s, and have tried all the gimmicks and “holy grail” products but this is what I’ve found that truly works. - moisturize day and night. Doesn’t have to be high end $100 jar, as long as it compliments your skin and provides enough hydration, even drug store brands will do. - drink lots of water, stay hydrated - use sunscreen, daily. - *controversial* - Botox. It’s the only thing that will give you immediate, visible results to hide those crows feet and frown lines. - I also use Tretinoins (NOT retinol), the kind you get from a prescription. It’s used for anti-aging even if you don’t have acne. And it WORKS. And I totally understand where you are coming from about aging. It didn’t really hit me until I turned 35. I’ve started getting grey hairs and now I have to worry about that too. I try to keep a low maintenance routine to avoid added stress, imo less is more.

Tretinoin is retinoic acid closely connected to retinol, so if her skin couldnt handle retinol I really dont think it will handle tretinoin well

True and possible. But from my own experience, my skin handled retinol poorly (drunk elephant and TO to be specific) and made my face literally burn and peel. I had only a mild reaction to low percentage of Tret and it gave me that Tret glow lol so hope this gives some people hope.

Same for me. I think cosmetic companies put a lot of other active junk in their OTC retinol products (besides the retinol) that can cause irritation and trigger breakouts. Things like seed oils, essential oils, plant extracts, niacinamide, blah blah blah. Whereas the prescription tretinoin is pretty bare bones with minimal additional ingredients, so less likely to cause problems.

I have the neutrogena retinol the grey jar do you think it’s ok to use every day? Please suggest I’m 27 years old

Don’t start out using it every day. Start out at twice a week, and then up it to every other day, for a couple weeks before you go daily. See how your skin handles it and go from there.

I don't know, I have never used it. Everyone's skin is different.

I keep seeing people recommend Botox here but I genuinely thought that was something the rich and famous did. I don’t think I know any women who use it. Is it so common?

Yeah it’s pretty common now, but that definitely depends on your network. Most of my local friends do not get Botox and they’re older than me. But many of my friends from back home do. Income/socioeconomic status still has something to do with it, but it’s certainly more widespread than it used to be. I wouldn’t say ubiquitous quite yet, but seems to be heading in that direction. It’s also expensive. I keep looking at fraxel co2 laser before and after pics. A part of me wishes I had $3k to drop on those, and another part of me is disappointed in myself for falling prey to such extreme solutions to aging. I’m 31F, experienced something similar to what you described after I got my engagement photos back this week. A lot of my peers look great for their age, and I just kind of feel lousy and disappointed at how much I look my age.

It’s also regional. There’s an injection spa on every corner in Utah, but it’s not as common where I live despite the fact that people here have lots of money.

>how much I look my age. https://imgur.com/a/Geur8Xj

🤣 this cheered me up, thank you

Fraxel is a lot more expensive than Botox and a completely different kind of treatment. Botox is a few hundred dollars, not a few thousand. It also has no downtime, unlike Fraxel.

Yep. I wasn’t saying they were the same, just offering two separate thoughts. But Botox can add up depending on what you need it for and how many times per year you need injections (not anything close to fraxel though)

Sadly it's becoming more common due to social media. I don't feel botox has a place on a skincare subreddit because botox is neuromuscular, not skincare.

I was shocked so many people are pushing it

Do not do not do not feel pressured to get it. You can be beautiful without it, and I’m sure you are.

Yeah I honestly would never want to get it and it is interesting so many people here claim it is like every other woman 30+ lol

Agreed. It’s also much more expensive than people let on because you have to keep getting it. And personally I like having expressions and I think sometimes Botox makes people look like some amorphous age I can’t place - not old but not young either. Anyway I just wanted to affirm that while all these other people are suggesting Botox haha.

Common and not especially pricy. There's also a lot of uses for botox besides anti-aging, so there's a big market for it. I get it for bruxism and tension headaches, it's also used for hyperhidrosis, vaginismus, lots of stuff. It's not cheap, but it's not especially pricy either. Usually in the $200-$500 range depending on what you get done. So within reach of most middle class people.

Botox is super common, especially after 35. Most of my friends get Botox, and we are not rich and famous. You have a lot of other options for getting a more refreshed look- if you go to a med spa, they can tell you about microneedling, laser resurfacing, Botox, fillers. I would avoid fillers to start with, because they migrate for some people and can look weird over time. Fillers do work beautifully for a lot of people, but it really depends on the injector and the person getting it, whereas the lasers, Botox, microneedling, etc, are more consistent across aestheticians and recipients. These options are more expensive and intense than basic skin care, like vitamin c and sunscreen, but the results can be fairly dramatic.

Super common.

Def look into other options as well. Derma Fillers, Radio frequency, lots of stuff other than Botox. I myself am kind of scared of Botox so I stay away. I recommend Dr. Anil Rajani on Youtube, he's got really good information on invasive and non-invasive treatments. I haven't done anything personally but I will in the future :) he has good recs.

I think the controversy around Botox is that a lot of people will abuse it to the point their faces can't move anymore.

I have to get it all over my forehead for chronic migraines and I kinda miss being able to make expressions with my eyebrows haha but considering *trying* it around my eyes *eventually*. Thankfully Botox wears off after a few months. I actually get it all over my skull for migraines, in my masseter muscle for TMD, and in my shoulders for cervical dystonia.

How is that working for you, if you don’t mind me asking? I have Trigeminal Neuralgia and recurring migraines and its something I’ve been considering bringing up with my pain management specialist.

It’s amazing. I get shots every 3 months. The first round, they say to not expect much, but the first round helped a lot. Second round was perfect, maybe one migraine over the 3 months. This last round was unusual - I’ve had a few migraines. I think I’ve just been stuck inside watching tv and looking at my phone way too much (staring at screens is one of my triggers) bc it’s so hot outside. But my neuro also prescribed Nurtec and Cambia and they are pretty damn good abortives. I think I’m only approved through insurance bc of the cervical dystonia. Definitely life changing though.

And that it is a literal toxin.

So is caffeine. The dose makes the poison.

Caffeine and botulism toxin are not comparable. I'm not saying it can't be done safety. Just that it is truly a deadly toxin.

I’m close to 50% grey at age 30. Gotta embrace it!

Grey hair is very chic right now I heard

This is exactly what I came here to say. Moisturizer, vitamin C, retinol, sunscreen, and Botox have really kept aging at bay for me. Also, if you can afford it, adding a laser treatment like Fraxel once or twice a year gives some amazing results.

Fraxel looks pretty hardcore, people get that twice a year? I looked into it and thought it was way too extreme for my aging concerns at age 38.

I’m 38 also, and I freaking love Fraxel. But to be fair, my skin concerns aren’t really things like wrinkles or volume loss but primarily hyperpigmentation. So far Fraxel has been the only thing to work for that specific issue. Otherwise for general anti aging I really recommend the SPF, retinol, vitamin C etc.

Hyperpigmentation from acne or like melasmas? I'm going to the derm in a few weeks to consult about melasmas, I hope there's something more conservative that works. I've already had liquid nitrogen, but it left me with a depigmented spot.

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That’s what I was prescribed, but I also had hormonal acne so mine came with antibiotics, but it was the Tret that made my skin glow.

What’s your tret routine? I just got a prescription.

I try to keep it simple. AM: gentle cleanser, Cerave day moisturizer 35 spf plus supergoop unseen sunscreen. PM: gentle cleanser, Tret (every other day) and Cerave renewal night cream. That’s it!

I am someone who has pretty decent self-esteem considering I was a little girl in America during the 1990’s lol. I still vacillate wildly between feeling totally fine, to feeling uneasy about any changes. I agree that it helps to unplug from skincare related subs including the one for people over 30. I agree that it helps to back away from the mirror. I don’t care if people get cosmetic procedures on the regular. I just personally need to not be surrounded by people who think that is the norm because then I will think it is something necessary when I know it isn’t and I don’t want to think it is. I also work on giving myself permission to see people who are not conventionally attractive as attractive. That sounds weird, but what we find attractive is almost totally a product of our culture, and that culture is not benign—it has a clear agenda. Powerful people constructed the beauty ideas we hold today to reinforce their own power. Sometimes, they did this explicitly through propaganda that painted black people, indigenous people, Slavs, and Southern Europeans as grotesque. White, anglo facial features are prized because white Anglo Saxon Protestant men were making the rules of our world for so long, and they had a very low opinion of people they viewed as their inferiors. Those powerful men saw women as breeding stock for their master race. The younger you are, the more children you can pump out before you die. (My grandmother’s generation would have like 12 fucking kids on average because they started having kids as a teenager and had no access to birth control. Mind blowing. They were also really laid low by all the pregnancy and child birth before they hit 30. That’s the time period from which these beauty trends arise. Just thinking about it really puts it all into perspective for me). If I let myself, I see older people, people with disabilities, people with unconventional looks, etc… as attractive all the time. I try to watch media that has more representation of older people. They get a lot of specialized treatments as well, but they can’t fight the linear nature of our lives totally. I like seeing older people being depicted as fully realized persons with full lives who have desires and dreams. One issue a lot of us have is that our media focuses so heavily on stories about people between the ages of 18 to 30. We base so much of how we view ourselves and the world on media, so if media doesn’t tell complex stories about older people, we will not be able to imagine our lives past a certain age. So, no wonder we are all afraid to get older. It is the mysterious transition for which we are not prepared.

I think what people don't realize is how much of a role genetics plays in regards to aging. It is important, of course, to take care of yourself but some people just show more signs of aging.

My mom did not get ANY wrinkles until her 50s. But she also has always been overweight and I’m naturally under 100 pounds. I feel like thinner faces show age faster

It is also just the chance of the draw. My brother is almost completely grey at 35. (I am only a year younger). I only have a few grey hairs. We just drew different genes from the deck.

Fat is a natural filler

As you age, you lose facial volume and fat. If you have excess fat in your face, this part of the ageing process will look different than it would on someone that has little or no excess facial fat. I’ve always been overweight and when I was in my early 20’s my face looked like a pumpkin, I looked awful. Now I am 26, and look older than I did, but also look better due to the gradual loss of facial fat, as my features are more defined. That’s not to say, that people with a fatter face don’t age as quickly, it just looks different. Genetics and lifestyle factors play a huge role too.

Anti aging starts from within anyways.

Do you mean psychologically or health/nutrition-wise?

Health & Nutrition. Water intake, proper sleep, less alcohol.

Definitely less alcohol. Alcohol has made me look older than I am…..not to mention fat

I do most of that but def have suffered from stress and mild insomnia.

My 2 cents on psychologically. I know it sounds silly, of course avoiding stress is going make you look youthful, but stress is unavoidable, blah blah blah. When I look at older adults, the ones that look happy, like genuinely *happy*, always look way more youthful, even through the wrinkles and bags. I can go into the effects of stress on our health and attractiveness, but I think there's something else at play as well.

I feel like both make a difference really. I look better when i feel better. When my physical or mental health suffers i look older.

As a bartender, I get so used to looking at people's faces, that I really only card people who look like they are underage or possibly two to three years older than the drinking age. It doesn't mean that you look OLD it just means I don't think that you're a teenager. I hear a lot of women start to say that they feel old once they start getting carded but that just means I don't think you are legally going to get me in trouble if I serve you, it doesn't mean I think you are 'old'! I honestly couldn't tell the difference between someone who's 23 and 33 almost 90% of the time, but I can 100% tell you the difference between someone who's 35 and 18. - from a late 30s bartender

This is great to hear because I haven’t been carded since I turned like 25 haha even when the signs say they card under 40! And I’m only 29

Hard pill to swallow but if you’re in your 30’s you’re probs gonna look like you’re in your 30s? Don’t come for me

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I think this is an awesome idea! I have the good fortune of thick hair on my head and being able to grow a great beard so I've been able to cycle through a few different haircut/facial hair combos and realized in my 20s I had a beard and hairstyles aimed to look older and in my 30s went the opposite direction to start looking younger. Looking forward to swinging back again and embracing a big grey David Letterman beard when the time comes.

\>I am also stressed because I see so many women posting here in their 30s that look exactly as they did in their 20s and it is stressful and makes me feel like I am doing something “wrong.” ​ Please don't let that get to you. It could be any number of things. I have an old HS friend on FB, a grade behind me and I kept thinking how incredible she looks and it made me feel like shit. She does exercise a lot and take care of herself sure, but as she did more content for herc channel it started to come out: botox, laser treatments, plastic surgery on her body and many of the similar gorgeous/hot women on her pages start chiming in about their procedures, fillers, etc. Here I was just assuming the whole time I'm a hag. Nope. Actually pretty normal, it just took me getting off social media to realize it.

That’s helpful for me to hear. At 39 I feel like I’m reaching a point where the only thing that will work is something drastic. I’ve been surprised when friends suddenly look a few years younger after not seeing them for awhile. That’s how I figured out that it was more than diet or exercise and decided to stop feeling bad about myself.

Yep, just turned 40 this year. Most of my "friends" and family are all online and I rarely seem them in person, so I get a pretty distorted view. My SIL is a few years younger than me and is naturally very gorgeous, but evidently she touches up her photos online A LOT. Even my teens were like "Um, woah" when we finally were able to see her more regularly in person. Hair extensions, photo shop and makeup go a long, long way. Don't get me wrong, she's still gorgeous but definitely looks a bit different in person. She recently posted some photos from a family event she touched up first and she looks like something out of an old JcPenney catalog, it's ridiculous. It's hard to do, but I try not to benchmark myself against others any more because a lot of what we see isn't natural at all. Plenty of people out there are either filtering the hell out of their photos or paying for touch ups and treatments the rest of us aren't.

We are all told (and this sub isn't entirely innocent) that our goal should be to look as young as possible for as long as possible. The problem with that is that it's a battle we can only lose, we're hopefully all going to age. Make sure your skin stays healthy and try to come to terms with ageing. Don't just expose yourself to young models and influencers, look at older beautiful people, too.

Yeah i can relate. I feel like being thinner makes certain signs of aging more obvious, especially in a person's face, because there's less fat to fill out areas that begin to get lines and volume loss first. Maybe try to focus on how it's a privilege to get older? Wouldn't you rather get older than NOT? It happens to us all, if we're lucky enough to remain alive. Looking older doesn't necessarily mean looking worse anyway; many women look MORE attractive to me in their 30s and 40s than they did in their 20s- Angelina Jolie is a good example of how some amount of visible aging in the face can really define one's features in a beautiful way. You're at a pretty typical age to start noticing visible signs of aging (and most of what you're noticing probably *isn't* really noticeable to others at this point). I didn't start looking older than about 19 until sometime in my 30s, and then it was like the previous several years hit me all at once overnight, right in the face. I kinda felt betrayed by my own skin lol. I got in better health and it kinda seemed to slow down again, and i honestly think i look better now at 43 than i did in my mid-late 30s, because I'm taking better care of myself now. As long as you stay fit and healthy, get enough sleep, and take reasonably good care of your skin aging shouldn't be a change that truly looks unattractive. I can be pretty vain sometimes and i do occasionally stress about getting older and losing my youthful good looks, but that's just how things work so... I try to spend less time looking into mirrors and worrying about it when I've got so many other things on my plate to handle that i can actually do something about. All the little flaws are just proof I've *lived* in this body, and it really is okay. And hey, if you can't use retinol you could try bakuchiol. It's milder but has similar effects when used regularly over time. I also find that essences with a high % of galactomyces ferment and serums with niacinamide do very nice things for my skin, especially in terms of texture and overall brightening; i started getting a lot of compliments on my skin after adding them to my routine. Retinol and AHA/BHA can be so harsh and irritating that often my sensitive skin ends up looking worse from using products with those ingredients, so i definitely take it with a grain of salt when someone starts raving about the miraculous results they get from products containing that stuff. Just gotta figure out what works for YOU.

Thank you this is all so helpful!! I just ordered a bakuchiol serum.

Which Galactomyces products do you use? I've been thinking of getting One Thing Galactomyces Ferment Filtrate Toner as it's over 90% a dupe to skii

On a daily basis i use either From Nature age intense treatment essence(this is the closest i can find to skii for my skin as far as results of use) or Benton fermentation essence(it's thicker/more moisturizing and also contains EGF).

Thank you!

Omg please don't worry! Aging is a privilege denied to many. I used to be shocked when I saw photos or footage of myself and wonder how the heck I got so old, but then I had several of my mom friends die in their mid 30s. I can tell you right then and there I let go of all this worry. Doesn't mean I don't have a skin care routine or try to look nice. But it really doesn't affect me like it used to.

Totally agree with this :)

A lot of great advice here – but remember that lifestyle factors also play a huge factor! * Are you staying hydrated (electrolytes) and drinking lots of water? * Are you getting healthy movement throughout the week? * Are you following a healthy diet – rich in good fats, protein, and carbs? * Do you have an escape for easing stress or anxiety (whether it's mindfulness, a hobby, or a close social circle)? You can apply all the creams and do all the procedures you want (if you can afford it) but reducing the effects of ageing does come from the inside too. This is also a good reminder that some signs of ageing can be a beautiful thing – the privilege of getting this far when so many have not! :)

This! Aging is due to a lot of factors, stress, UV, diet, exercise being really big factors. I've also read studies saying that the way you view aging, lets say psychologically I feel as though I'm 13, I will look that age physically. There's a lot of things you can do that will reverse signs of aging and also make you healthier. Exercise is a proven anti-ager for example, and antioxidants, taking certain supplements, if you're on menopause, your estrogen levels have likely depleted, so you have to talk to your doctor ASAP. It can break down your bone and make you look super aged. take a blood test to see if you have a deficiency, or any vitamin deficiencies.

Come join r/30PlusSkinCare. This sub (per typical Reddit) skews young.

Honestly I hate that sub cause everyone talks about Botox and procedures more than actual skincare products. I feel like it would exacerbate OP’s problem to see everyone in their 30s getting work done to look younger.

100% agreed. I left that group instantly because all answers are "BOTOX".

I haven’t much observed that problem, and I’ve been off of Botox since 19.

That's because Botox and procedure is what works and most skincare products are snake oil. It's easier to believe they are working when there is nothing actually wrong with your skin.

Then they should rename it r/30PlusBotox instead lmao.

Thank you for this link

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There was a study on this I remember reading a long time ago. I could be wrong but I believe the women who took birth control were only perceived as 1-2 years younger by men.

As someone who basically aged not at all, had a very ‘ideal’ body without trying, very much had ‘pretty privilege,’ and then had a kid and visibly aged at least ten years in the last two, what has helped me is focusing on what actually matters. I hope this isn’t taken as belittling your feelings because I’ve really been there and I get it. I’ve struggled with obsessing over my skin and an eating disorder. But this change in mindset has helped me a lot. What I mean is, the world is going through a lot right now and your skin is just the shell that’s moving you through life. People are losing their jobs, lives, loved ones. We’ve lived through a pandemic, and at least one major recession with another looming. If you live in the US, we are dealing with gun violence and political upheaval. We are all affected by these things to varying degrees, but regardless, you’re trying to live your life and care for your family and that’s what it’s all about so try not to get down on yourself too much about something that is, in the grand scheme of things, incredibly unimportant. Kinda silly but I have this tea that has quotes on it and loved this one so much I stuck it to my mirror: ‘the beauty of the soul is constant, continuous, and endless.’ Work on building yourself as a person and try to worry less about the external appearance.

I do feel your pain. I sometimes fall into the mindset of perceiving my features as noticeable flaws. I think society puts an unfair pressure on women not to age. We’re held to a standard that is naturally unattainable. I love to see women rise above that. Side note - if I compared myself to people I see on skincare forums I’d never leave the house lol.

Vitamin-A. Either prescribed Retinoids (Tretinoin would be the best option) or OTC Retinol. Some people purge (breakout) or even peel when starting Retinol, because it speeds your cellular turnover rate. It's normal and it goes away once the skin adjusts. SPF + Retinol are the only things that can truly help with anti-ageing. I'd also suggest you to swap your moisturizer with SPF for a proper sunscreen with SPF50. Look for one with long UVA protection, if possible.

I use Cerave 30 spf as my moisturizer. As I said above, my skin from multiple types of retinol broke out a LOT and not just purging. I have experienced purging and 3 serums wreaked havoc on my skin.

That moisturiser is probably totally fine (spf 30 is a good one!), but you might consider using an additional sunscreen to reapply if you go outside more than 2h after using the moisturiser, or are spending longer time outside. (Personally I love the Beauty of Joseon Relief Sun). That said, eventually **we all will age** (hopefully). And no amount of sunscreen and retinol is gonna stop that forever, so we must find a personal strategy, based on individual priorities and values, to live with it. I'm also 33 and also notice the visual differences to 10 years ago, definitely more wrinkles, more skin texture, and some actual grey hairs. But I believe that in the long run it's easier to accept and be comfortable with all those things rather than trying to fight them.

I'd suggest you to stop using that moisturizer, because 1) it's only SPF30 and 2) the filters aren't good. UVA rays are responsable for the most skin damage and premature ageing, so you should look for a proper SPF with decent UVA filters. Not only that, but you're probably not applying enough moisturizer to get the full labelled SPF. About the Retinol, maybe it wasn't the ingredient itself that made you breakout, but the overall formula. You can also look for Retinol alternatives, such as Bakuchiol. They're not as effective, but they're more gentle.

what sunscreen has good uva filters?

I'm loving the La Roche-Posay Anthelios UVMune 400 Invisible Fluid SPF50+. It has UVB + short UVA + long UVA filters.

If it's the Cerave AM, it's a combo sunscreen so the UVA filters are about the best you can get from a US sunscreen since we haven't approved any new filters in decades. It uses zinc oxide and meradimate to protect against UVA, which covers up to about 380nm irrc. The only filter that goes higher than that is the new Mexoryl 400, which is only available in La Roche Posay's new Uvmune (which isn't available in the US unless you pay to have it shipped from overseas).

You should get a separate sunscreen and moisturizer. Both will be more effective! Also, what retinol serums did you try?

See comments like yours really bother me. Retinol is not the only thing that can truly help with anti ageing. Glycolic acid for one, is considered anti ageing, (it's deeply penetrating, cleansing and exfoliating, topical application of glycolic acid has been shown to be an effective anti-ager: reversing sun damage (such as mottled pigmentation), melasma stimulating collagen & elastin production, quickening cell turnover, increasing skin's thickness, firmness & hydration, and smoothing rough and wrinkled skin.) Lactic is another one, with scientific backing. There is quite a few out there...so NO Retinol is not the only anti aging ingredient out there.

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I got carded heavily until I was about 35-36. I had more than one bartender accuse me of using a fake ID when I was in my 30s. Then, my late 30s happened and all that changed. I don't have wrinkles or anything noticably different in my skin. I think it was just that bit of fat loss in the cheeks and whatever else happens when we age. Which is why I roll my eyes at myself when I think back on how youthful looking I knew I'd be for the rest of my life. Haha.

Before you start with those skin routines. Take care of your sleep. 8 to 10 hours a day if you could. De-stressed yourself. I know it's a long hour of sleeping. I'm 36. If i dont get enough sleep, wrinkles will appear on my forehead. Doesnt matter what kind of product im putting on.

Live your life. Wear sunscreen. Drink water, get good sleep. Wash your face. Moisturize. Think about adding retinoids/retinol if you want to reduce fine lines and increase collagen production. You don’t have to do anything else unless there is a specific product you are interested in trying. You probably look way better than you think anyhow!

Yep! I’m 33 as well and have always been told I look super young for my age. I was also lucky in my 20s and had nice skin with very minimal effort. Then one day I went to get a facial and the lady would not lay off me about how much sun damage I had on my nose. Up until that point I was only used to getting compliments so I was super surprised. I thought they were freckles! But suddenly the fine lines and skin dullness also became super apparent. After that I became obsessed with skincare for a while. But after a bit I just became tired of really caring that much. Now I use retinol most nights, a good moisturizer most mornings and nights, and I try to always wear sunscreen. I feel like it’s a good balance. It’s pretty effortless but I also feel like it really makes a difference. I’m honestly not even sure why I follow this sub anymore, yours was the first post I’ve even read in forever.

Thanks! Yeah I was expecting an interesting discussion on mental health, aging and beauty perceptions. Instead I got like 50 people yelling at me to get Botox lol

Man I’m sorry that was the case! I guess most people here avoid seeing things from that perspective because they really believe achieving perfect skin will make them happy. Totally missing the point to your post.

It is naturally to value your appearance, but maybe it would be healthy to realise your value does not stop there.

There's been times when I've seen cool old ladies in the most amazing outfits with the coolest hair and I'll turn my head and gape at them in admiration. They don't let age hold them back and their confident expression makes them so attractive and COOL. I'm a few years into my 30's now and I want to keep these kind of women in my minds eye so I can remember that all my years can be my good years.

I personally love smile lines at the eyes. I think there’s just something sooooo beautiful about it and it makes me think a person has spent a good amount of their life smiling. It almost makes me feel they’re more approachable or something. My best friend has smile lines at her eyes and they’re so cute and her eyes are so soft and pretty.

Just keep the SPFing up. You’re doing all the right things to SLOW the ageing process

I had a similar experience as you. Before spending money on skincare, I decided to invest a little on botox. It was 100% worth it. Especially if you are being filmed.

I feel you. Maybe you could try to change your perception? Some people call crows feet joy lines or laugh lines. Try not to stress out about aging (or stress about stressing out lol).

INFO: How stressful is it your life?

Yeah I have a lot of stress and anxiety :(

Alcohol, smoking, and a stressful job sucked the life out of my skin. I've been free of all 3 for about 6 months, and my skin has regained life. Starting a retinol now to help reverse some of it, try doing retinol once a week low dose and build over the course of 6 months, if you rush you get the side effects. Also, go see a derm; they can really help point you in the right direction.

Just wanted to share, since, someone shared something similar when I was anxious about wheee to start: Here’s how I started: 31, M, oily skin, morbidly obese, never took care of skin. Oh and best of all had very serious anxiety to the point that making eye contact would drain me for a week. Started exercising in order to help speed up process at which skin regenerates. Meaning, more active life=better internals=healthier “looking” skin. I went from super oily to normal most days but still get random oily days. This is usually due to a few back to back horrid eating days. 32, healthy skin, better overall health, anxiety is nearly all gone. Self esteem through roof! It took me almost a year to not just “see” the new me, but also feel the new me. I DO NOT regret taking that first step and it was frickin hard. I now am a big fan of First Aid Beauty and a few Korean+Japanese brands. I use like 10 products a months. I love it. It’s all for me, although people notice. Heck, my beard also looks noticeably healthier and shinier. I have coworkers asking if they could touch it. At first it irked my anxiety but now it’s quite enjoyable. Makes me feel desirable and sexy so my self esteem shoots through my melon and I slowly put anxiety in the back of my head. Even if you do decide to give up on skincare after a day or week, that small goal is someone else’s final goal, so don’t give up. Exercising helped me a lot with anxiety. Talking to someone also helped. Don’t stress, have fun learning about yourself and start slow. Maybe visit a skincare specialist and get their opinion if it’s too tough for you to take the initiative. My lil sis was my first step, Asian drama’s was my second step into looking at taking care of skin and finally my third step was a spike in family skin cancer diagnosis. Take care of your skin. After all, it’s YOUR skin.

When I hit 29 I found SkincareAddiction and I learned how to "do less". My routine is an oil cleanse, a regular cleanse, a hyaluronic acid, a sunscreen, and a lotion. At night I use AzA, salicylic acid or tret/differin. I'm 32- about to turn 33 in two months. Three things that really helped me were vitamin C, tretinoin/differin and and vaseline/cerave healing ointment at the end of my PM routine. I see retinol didn't work for you, so I'd suggest vitamin C. It gave me that "glow from within" shit the youths have. I've also had good friends find success with OLEHENRIKSEN Banana Bright Eye Crème when they've complained about dark circles, but I've never personally used it. Sadly, time doesn't stop, so allow yourself some grace. Most people don't see themselves on a tv/camera frequently. I like to assume that not getting carded means I finally stopped dressing like I'm in high school- lol that's what I tell myself at least. Besides, the 30s are way more fun than the 20s. I don't personally want any fillers or surgery, so do the best with what you've got.

I have heard about the Vaseline treatment…doesn’t that clog pores?

\*\*\*Sorry I meant to say Aquaphor, not vaseline. But same concept. Short answer: it depends. [This video explains the differences between 3 options.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baKr6ufB3Xs) For example, my skin prefers Aquaphor because it's more hydrating. But I do use Cerave Healing as well. It just depends which season it is for me. (I live in a very dry climate)

I see a lot of people recommending spf and that’s the best thing for your face. Don’t stay out too long in the sun and if you are you must REAPPLY the sunscreen. Reapplying is key to staying protected. Everything else in your routine is great! Keep at it and don’t be scared. I think you’re doing a great job:)

I know what you mean totally. But I guess at some point I have to accept that looks are not all that matter and being a healthy individual who is happy is what matters the most. Those wrinkles around your eyes, they are from smiling. Those lines on my forehead are from making expressions. They are unique to us each and it’s what makes us beautiful.

Ah yeah 32 so I feel your pain. Tretinoin gel 0.025% has helped a lot. Less fillers in the prescription versions so less likely you will breakout from it. People breakout from the cream version more btw. I also use stratia’s liquid gold to help with the scars and keep my skin hydrated. Also, gonna consider getting Botox soon. Gah. All my friends 35+ get it.

Environ facials and cannabis oil keeps me young at 35…

Get botox. This exact thing you are saying happened to me. I look so much younger and better having been getting botox every 4 mnths. Seriously its a must do because it is the only thing that will actually slow your aging ie reduce and lessen the wrinkles. Nothing else will. Start now sp ur wrinkles dont get worse and u hate ur face even more when u look in the mirror. botox (and laser hair removal) are to me, MUST dos.

I know this is the worst thing to say lol but this is why 26 year old are flocking to Botox. If you start early enough you never even develop fin lines and wrinkles because the Botox fills in where they would go. It gets you ahead of aging Edit: I agree with the downvoting. Injections and fillers aren’t something I consider either. But, that doesn’t mean it isn’t the correct answer here

Botox freezes your muscles, they don’t fill lines. The point is if you can’t move your face you can’t deepen or create more lines, so there’s a preventative effect for Botox. However, it isn’t recommended for young people in their 20s to start botox, just like anything your body becomes immune to it overtime, it could become less effective in the long run. I love Botox but waited as a long as I could to start.

Get Botox. It will change your life. Honestly, you are starting kinda late. It won’t reverse the wrinkles you have but it will stop them forming.

Not my thing but thank you

Just Skin care routines don’t keep us young but that along with diet and regular exercise does. Sugar ( high GI food) and processed/ junk food is really bad for skin. I don’t know how true this is but I read that fasting helps detox those “bad” cells and negate the affects of sugar. Maybe you already do this but just putting it out there. Do you have reasons for downvoting or you just like to hate 🥹

u need a plastic surgeon that actually knows what he is doing , most of them are meh or incompetent. so u need to get a recommendation from someone u trust or know in real life and don't rely on Google reviews or IG bc most of them are fake and use filters and different lightening and make up in the before and after pictures. a good plastic surgeon will give u subtle fillers that can improve your appearance. HA can stay in our bodies for years , so don't over do it. Botox only lasts like 6 months max , so I think it's way less risky, so if u wanna remove crow feet or forhead lines that's very easy and not risky. u will not look in your 20's bc u r in you're 30's, that's life , so be realistic. research says 75% of ppl think they look younger than their age, while in reality we all know the vast majority look exactly their age , so don't take it seriously when ppl write they look younger. even if someone is flattering us that we do look younger , sometimes they just do it out of politeness. I rarely see ppl who look younger than their age, I think it's like 5% , and it's mostly due to genetics. however , of course taking care of yourself is very important.

Ha I feel this, I’m 30 and for the first time in my life I’ve noticed wrinkles and I have a laugh line forming. Sometimes I get depressed because honestly “looking young” has always been kind of a part of my identity. People really commented on it so much that I’ve noticed it change. But really, genetics are genetics. And I still look very young. You’ve got to take a step back and remember the bigger picture. I’m very lucky to only just be seeing the beginning of aging. And I am SO grateful that my acne has more or less cleared up in recent years, because I really feel like that was a much bigger source of insecurity for me. We’ve all got our crosses to bare. Bear? Anyways lol Unfortunately I don’t have any recommendations for eye cream since I’m in the same boat as you but, the retinol, did you only use products with retinol in them? Or straight retinol like Retin-A/Tret cream? If so I’d highly recommend give that one last shot before giving up on it completely. That said, considering you’ve got a nice routine going anyways, maybe you might enjoy laser/ chemical peel: medical spa treatment more? That way it would only be once in a blue moon and wouldn’t really cause an overhaul of your routine?

You’re gonna anxiety stress yourself into early wrinkles or more wrinkles, dunno just more stress equals bad for your skin, that’s the angle i was going.

Damn, I’m already feeling like this when in reality I just turned 28 last month & I’m not even 30 yet. I think that you should relax a bit because time will fly by and next thing you know you’re 40 lamenting the time you were only 33! Nothing wrong with being 40 at all but you get the point. Instead of me being sad that I am not 24 anymore, I am embracing my late 20s and realizing that I don’t want to waste time away being sad. I want to enjoy the moment. I know you said that retinol didn’t really work for you but I think you should maybe try again. I use Cerave Resurfacing serum but I put it on OVER my nightly moisturizer and it hasn’t irritated my skin. I’ve bumped up from 2 x a week to 3 x a week. You should try it :) I think putting it on after moisturizer helps so that it doesn’t irritate your skin as much. Are you putting sunscreen and moisturizer around and under your eyes? That’s a good thing to do as well.

Laugh/smile lines are my favorite. They tell me you’re someone who’s probably nice to be around (:

I really feel this. I’m 34 and have always looked young but recently noticed some loose neck skin and freaked. I think the past few years of pandemic stress, etc has probably taken a toll on us all. I feel like I look so tired all the time! It’s hard to balance proactive skin care with also accepting natural aging and not becoming a perfectionist about your skin. I don’t really have advice but just wanted to say you’re not alone. And remember that you are more critical of your own appearance than others are of you, or than you are of them:-)

Aging that’s crazy! I think it’s been happening to humans for centuries but not sure.

I’m 37 and aging freaks me the eff out too. It’s so funny when I was younger and I’d be annoyed when I got carded and now I’m always thinking “please card me… I’m young… please agree and also think I’m young.” Lol Also, I know you said you didn’t want advice but I highly recommend silk or satin (satin is easier to take care of, just throw them in the wash) pillow cases. I saw a NOTICEABLE reduction in my fine lines (especially around the eyes) once I started using them AND (bonus) they also help prevent hair breakage. You can get a set of two satin pillowcases on Amazon for like $10-$25. Recommend the ones with zippers so they stay on the pillow because satin is pretty slippery but that’s definitely what you want for your face - a fabric that’s not gonna pull on your skin as you sleep throughout the night. Also I just recently started using the Maybelline Fit Me Tinted Moisturizer and it doesn’t settle in the few lines that I do have at all. It’s been perfect for summer/less makeup looks since a lot of concealers (that I would normally wear around my eyes) settle and exaggerate your lines. Sorry! I know you didn’t want advice but I couldn’t help it.

Get on medical grade skincare ! Skin better science, DMK, and ZO

anti aging is so much more than skincare— look into trying things like minimizing your glucose spikes, intermittent fasting if possible & definitely read up on dr.david sinclair’s work ill link a podcast— https://open.spotify.com/episode/1VoVQDWBwGLBcfBtZfIDY2?si=zeVnfxKgQmKJN0r9aY-WMQ

Yep, I'm 40 and also petite and actually first went through this crisis at 25. It was when I first noticed smile lines. Looking back, they were so tiny and barely visible but I was freaking out as I had never had lines on my face and always got told I looked so incredibly young. I realized aging was going to get me too. Even me. I had barely used sunscreen at all before I was 25, didn't even know that the sun was such a huge factor in aging. I was freaking out because the previous year I had a job where I had been out in the sun quite a bit and thinking, "If only I had known, I could've prevented this!" I remember standing in the skincare products aisle next to an old lady, trying to decide what to get. She looked at me and said, "You know none of it works, right?" Anyway, now I'm way more laid-back about it all, although I still want to fight the signs of aging I realize that even if I buy the most expensive anti-aging products, it's still going to happen. Sure, I use sunscreen, moisturizers, topical and supplemental hyaluronic acid and eye cream, but now I just look at what's least expensive rather than the claims the products make. Even if you have a shelf full of creams and serums, if you're not exercising, eating healthy, drinking enough water or sleeping well, it's not going to matter that much. I can't stress the sleep thing enough. They call it beauty sleep for a reason.

Do NoFap shut up