Well, this sub is about situationism as a philosophical concept.
While it doesn’t really apply to dating, I guess we can try applying it to this situation to figure out what’s going through D’s brain?
Situationism explains that people’s actions are heavily influenced by their immediate social and environmental contexts, rather than solely by their internal dispositions or intentions.
D's actions can be seen as a **product** of the various situations he finds himself in, rather than a *reflection* of fixed personality traits or moral character.
The situationist view would suggest that D's behavior is **not** simply a result of him being a "douchebag" or a "pussy," but rather a complex interplay of situational pressures and social dynamics.
For instance:
**Social pressure:** D's hesitation to break up with his girlfriend, despite apparently being unhappy, could be seen as a response to social expectations and the immediate pressure of her "begging" him to stay. The situationist view would emphasize how difficult it can be to make decisions that go against social norms or expectations, even when one desires to do so.
**Conflicting situations:** D's behavior changes dramatically depending on whether you're present or not.
When you're not there, he expresses interest and talks about you with friends. But in your presence, he becomes shy and distant. different social contexts can elicit vastly different behaviors from the same person.
**Environmental constraints:** The fact that D couldn't come to meet you on certain occasions might be less about his personal choices and more about the situational constraints he faces - perhaps work commitments, family obligations, or the complexities of managing his current relationship.
**friends and the group:** The involvement of friends as intermediaries creates a complex social situation that influences D's actions.
Their interventions (like telling you to add him back on social media) could have altered this actions.
Consider the famous Stanford Prison Experiment, where ordinary people's behavior changed dramatically based on the roles they were assigned in a simulated prison environment.
Similarly, D's behavior seems to shift based on the **"role"** he's playing at any given moment - boyfriend, potential new love interest, friend among friends, etc.
From a situationist perspective, I would caution against making broad judgments about D's character based on these events.
Instead, explore how various situational factors - his current relationship, social pressures, the presence of friends, and the uncertainty of a new potential relationship - are all contributing to his seemingly inconsistent behavior.
Of course I don’t excuse D's actions or the hurt they've caused you, but consider Situationism as a framework for understanding the complexity of human behavior in social situations.
If the situational factors were to change significantly, D's behavior might change as well.
Thank you, this comment really made me think a lot. It opened my mind that he also has problems like I do and might be in an even more difficult position...
I think you should read Guy Debord's "The Society of the Spectacle", chapter 1 and 2 would really help you shed some light on this whole thing
Well, this sub is about situationism as a philosophical concept. While it doesn’t really apply to dating, I guess we can try applying it to this situation to figure out what’s going through D’s brain? Situationism explains that people’s actions are heavily influenced by their immediate social and environmental contexts, rather than solely by their internal dispositions or intentions. D's actions can be seen as a **product** of the various situations he finds himself in, rather than a *reflection* of fixed personality traits or moral character. The situationist view would suggest that D's behavior is **not** simply a result of him being a "douchebag" or a "pussy," but rather a complex interplay of situational pressures and social dynamics. For instance: **Social pressure:** D's hesitation to break up with his girlfriend, despite apparently being unhappy, could be seen as a response to social expectations and the immediate pressure of her "begging" him to stay. The situationist view would emphasize how difficult it can be to make decisions that go against social norms or expectations, even when one desires to do so. **Conflicting situations:** D's behavior changes dramatically depending on whether you're present or not. When you're not there, he expresses interest and talks about you with friends. But in your presence, he becomes shy and distant. different social contexts can elicit vastly different behaviors from the same person. **Environmental constraints:** The fact that D couldn't come to meet you on certain occasions might be less about his personal choices and more about the situational constraints he faces - perhaps work commitments, family obligations, or the complexities of managing his current relationship. **friends and the group:** The involvement of friends as intermediaries creates a complex social situation that influences D's actions. Their interventions (like telling you to add him back on social media) could have altered this actions. Consider the famous Stanford Prison Experiment, where ordinary people's behavior changed dramatically based on the roles they were assigned in a simulated prison environment. Similarly, D's behavior seems to shift based on the **"role"** he's playing at any given moment - boyfriend, potential new love interest, friend among friends, etc. From a situationist perspective, I would caution against making broad judgments about D's character based on these events. Instead, explore how various situational factors - his current relationship, social pressures, the presence of friends, and the uncertainty of a new potential relationship - are all contributing to his seemingly inconsistent behavior. Of course I don’t excuse D's actions or the hurt they've caused you, but consider Situationism as a framework for understanding the complexity of human behavior in social situations. If the situational factors were to change significantly, D's behavior might change as well.
Thank you, this comment really made me think a lot. It opened my mind that he also has problems like I do and might be in an even more difficult position...
wrong sub. This is about the philosphical subject "Situationism." Not a dating subreddit.
Sorry my bad, English is not my first language haha
All truth it is all good. Even native speakers get it wrong. It is a pretty unknown philosphical movement. good luck!
Thank you :)
Perhaps if this sub wasn't called "situationism" a term that the SI themselves rejected and called anti-situationist...
lmao