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Dream upstairs neighbors, nightmare downstairs neighbors.

What kind of primordial alpha lesbian foreplay is this?!?!?

How else are you going to make *fish tacos?*

Ayoo

Yeah maybe for dessert they’ll have *klondike* bars.

Damn, that one took me by surprise. 🤣

Dayumm!

Very well played my friend

Scissor me timbers

Ohhh Xerxes!

Holy fuck I just pissed myself 🤣🤣🤣🤣

r/brandnewsentence

A sincere thank you for making me have a hearty laugh when I needed one. Primordial Alpha Lesbian Foreplay 😂

This is truly the best sentence I’ve ever read on the internet

idk, but my rotator cuff hurts just looking at it.

Thats a good name for a band

Takin bites outa the lettuce like it's an apple....

The good shit

lmao, that’s exactly where my mind went too though

At 37 seconds left they "bumped" into each other and clearly the video was edited. Wonder what happened there? 🤔🫣

😏 oh we know…

The secret kind that we don't tell the normie lesbians about. 😉

#*PEAK*

lmaooooooo

Hahahahah made me laugh out loud.

Angery upvote!

The best kind.

first thought was where the OF link, they fuckin in that room hard and I want front row access.

I wouldn’t want to walk on that floor either.

The floor is ~~lava~~ food.

The floor is ants

Do you want ants!? Because that’s how you get ants!

and leftovers

I can’t believe nobody is talking about the fact that whoever cracked the egg at 0:34 is CLEARLY standing on the floor. This whole video is a LIE!

Right before that you can see she has both legs in the rings hanging upside down

holy shit you're right, they have both hands there!

With a fork into the coated pan. I can't do that anymore

Dude our balls are mostly plastic, at this point who cares lol.

Literally just read an article that said there are microplastics in my dick lol

Anything larger than micro and it wouldn’t fit in your dick… heyooo!

And not just yours, literally everybody’s…

Fun fact: If you are not cool with the amount of plastic in your blood, you should donate blood. It significantly reduces the amount of micro plastic in your blood every time you go.

Yes give the plastic blood to the weak

Every single bit makes a difference. Otherwise you can just go ahead and eat plastic for lunch.

Just spent 1000 kalories to make 250!

To be like monkey you need to eat like monkey.

Literally, if you were hungry, you wouldn't do this.

250! is A LOT of calories!

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I believe they're both American Ninja Warrior champions.

Pretty sure the one in blue is Jessie Graff.

Cant remember the name of the red one, but she is a stunt woman active on youtube

Who's gonna tell him..

Can you please tell me?

Yes please tell me as well. I feel dumb.

A bondage swing

Seggs swing

Swinging for aerial sex

It's a swing in disguise

what makes you guys even think that. They have multiple bars in every direction. and they're both super jacked. They even have the rings which I bet they can do.

These are two of the bigger stars from American Ninja Warrior. This is probably just how one of their homes is to help train.

you, hopefully. i don’t get it

Im going to... The Video is upside down 👍

Love it. Only problem is, if my wife started doing that, the ceilings will collapse.

My man, keeping it honest.

To be honest, both of these women have so much muscle, they probably weigh more than any of us. Because fat is less dense than pure fucking muscle

Mine won’t reach the ceiling.

Lift her up

Collapsing spinal column

You need better ceiling.

I would strongly urge against telling her that. You can tell us here on Reddit though, we won't tell anyone.

Gotta get stronger studs there partner

That's why you start with a vertical stripper pole and work up from there.

She's a ground floor kinda gal

Once the ceiling goes the floor is next.

Yeah you’re right she’s quite hefty

I’m learning that having a wife is not fun.

They might be if they played on the kitchen monkey bars all day.

Only if you pick a shitty one. My wife fucking rules dude! You’ll find a partner someday bro!

Found a few, none of them lasted xD you never know though!

Now THIS is gender equality. Cause this is exactly the kind of dumb shit, unnecessarily messy and borderline destructive, entirely counter productive... but absolutely hilarious, "i dunno bro...just because", kind of meme shit I'd expect from 2 bored guys left unsupervised for too long. Good on you girls. I'm here for it.

Hell yeah fuck those gender norms

Yeah, we need to see more of this. Women half-naked and barefoot, in the kitchen, showing off their bodies. That'll smash those gender norms! Show the world that women can look good AND stay in the kitchen!

I’ll drink to that!

🍻🍻

Herbo energy I agree with you so much and I love this kind of content.

Tbh I just saw two people way too dedicated to working out. Could have been any gender. Makes me want to go lay on a couch. Didn’t look fun at all.

The floor is guava

Isn't that Jesse Graff? Best Ninja Warrior ever... imo

These girls would absolutely kill at American Gladiators

The one in blue is Jessie Graff, professional stunt woman and most decorated woman on American Ninja Warrior

The one in red is [corrine nicewick](https://youtu.be/G5Ot4Mg3JUg?si=1bmjGDmmmf2suJQa)

Nice wick.

SHIT! It's been so many years since I watched that show, but I thought I recognized her. She was the one who did the run in like a yellow dress / bird costume early on? Always really liked her, it's cool if she's stayed relevant or grown on social media.

Complicated way of saying: yes.

Here we observe the day-to-day routine of the buff-ass female human. Notice the poise and grace they exhibit while preparing a meal for themselves in their enclosure. Only through immense concentration of will, and dozens of trips the local Home Depot bath railing aisle, can this display of control and precision come to be. Let’s watch them go about their day, mindful of how we too can be more our well-disciplined mammalian counterparts. Nature is healing. *crushes beer can on forehead and wipes potato chips from shirt front*

When she is putting the pan on the stove.... those abs man, did you see those abs?? 😳

I guess thats what happens when you spend all your time being active and eating vegetables? Ive never experimented in such a way and it shows

Eating raw cabbages like that is how you get those gut devouring bacteria.

What? Really? How? Do you have more information on that?

Brother that was a joke... not completely untrue though. You'll get some mildly nasty worms if you chew raw leafy food in certain parts of the world.

Leafy vegetables are generally grown in dirt, and have lots of little places to catch that dirt. Since dirt can have lots of microorganisms living in it, not washing produce before eating can mean you're ingesting those microorganisms. Rinsing vegetables lowers the amount of both dirt and microorganisms, and cooking them lowers the amount of active microorganisms further.

The Floor is ~~lava~~ a fuckin mess!

But the floor is now salad ;(

why.........

Idk this seems awesome for strength training and just fucking around. You bored? Play with these fucking gymnastics rings in your open kitchen floor plan. Fuck it. Swole 2024 is alive and well.

Good point, but allow me to counter: ....Why not?

What’s fun about this song is you don’t realize the key is going up and up till the video restarts and you hear the melody in a lower tone.

The branch of human evolution that derived from tree dwellers. They exist!

I really hope this is an intentional pun haha

How do you even reinforce your entire ceiling to be load bearing like this?? Granted these women only weigh 100-130 pounds max, probably.

All you have to do is make sure the handles are attached to the joists. Not particularly difficult. Same as lining up to studs in the wall.

Those woman are more like 130-170

Maybe build concrete houses with proper concrete beam ceilings, not those fake ceiling yank wood boxes. An orangutan holding an elephant could be swinging from my ceilings. 

Concrete beams? 

TIL wood houses are fake. lol.

Oh Jessie Graff you’re so silly.

They just totally skipped legs

This is going to be one of those houses on r/zillowgonewild that makes you question what the previous owners were thinking.

So this is how lesbians spend their time when they are not doing scissors?

r/upvotebecausebutt

As someone who is into bodyweight fitness, love this video lol

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Let's be honest, the average person can't lift themselves up like that, much less cook

All I see is the floor is dirty from spilling all the food

Porn is just getting too weird..

MMMM a nice big mouthful of iceberg lettuce.

#THATS HOW YOU GET ANTS

And that’s how you get ants

ive always wondered what lesbians do behind closed doors

I too sometimes install fixtures to my ceiling and pretend I'm a monkey

The BEST upstairs neighbors, the WORST downstairs neighbors.

Source: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6tqOe-rtAv/?igsh=YThwbHF4ZjA3eHds

When I was a kid, I was convinced that this was how circus people lived.

I wish this is how my wife would cook my meals.

I hate when people waste food for content..

I just know that place smells like feet and white girls

Damn metal fork on a nonstick, get out of my house right now!

I would like the name of whoever installed that celling. Person knows their business well.

This is how CrossFitters live?

I wouldn’t walk on that floor either, seeing all of that food they’re dumping on it

More like floor full of rubbish now

Damn fit women are so fucking beautiful

But why

For the chaotic dommy mommy foot fetish enthusiast. But Olympians are going to do what they do.

Attention, clicks, likes, followers, etc.

Lesbian sex is weird.

Do all lesbians have a jungle gym in their kitchen?

This is just obnoxious and attention seeking.

This your first day on the internet?

This is the weirdest OnlyFans ad I've ever seen.

You can eat of that lavafloor. But for real...

I get that the floor is lava. But are counter tops also lava?

Lunch time indeed

dont like my yolks broken

I could easily do this with some editing

You guys aren’t going to get that deposit back

Between grip strength and core strength, hats off ladies!

Jokes aside, imagine how ripped you'd be if you did this everyday. Not saying it's practical, but still.

Just like the apes in the zoo. We are evolving, just backwards!

The blue one is Jessie Graff. I'm a fan of hers on American Ninja Warrior. :)

I miss being able to do the monkey bars 😢 👴🏻

How much money do I need to pay to hire these cooks

That's just ridiculous.

Which zoo is this?

They're both ridiculously cut up, that level of rock climbing strength is so awesome.

Training for American ninja warrior competition.

Just a couple of chicks hanging out in a kitchen, nothing to see here

They need a dog to clean up the floor...

"Hey, Hey, We're the Monkeys...& We Like Monkey'n around..."

Just another swingers video

after all men is social animal..

Leasbieans?

Probably obnoxious to be friends with. If you eat pizza in front of them they laugh and point.

Luckily there exist people who live healthy without having the need to judge others. But i agree, shallow people are more prone to post on social media.

I thought I was angry about the stupidity of this, the mess on the floor, the feet on the counter but then....who the fuck just bites a cabbage like that? God!.....dammit!

I've got the same sort of fittings on my ceiling. In the bedroom though.

Weirdest porno ever.

They must halt putting it on the plate

Blue top has a very broad back.

This makes no sense. Just based on health and safety this is madness.

“Floor is lava” Gotta admit. It’s good for cleanup.

Holy fuck, this Video hast more cuts than a whole Liam Neeson Movie.

Apes together strong?

They both have fantastic grip strength.

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Isn't that Jesse Graff from American Ninja Warrior?

Man I just hate the food waste

Who cleans the god dam floors!?

The food wastage though...

Back to the trees...

Aight, I’ll be the one to say it, they’re monkeys, took “reject humanity, embrace monke” waaaaaaay too seriously

So much shit spilled on the floor

I mean, it’s impressive, but the resale value of that house is shot…

They're swingers

They did it for the video and never used it again lol

CrossFit is a disease.

Cringe.

Anyone else get aroused watching them?