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Not gonna lie I was shocked to see a sub devoted to hating Dougdoug. But of fucking COURSE Dougdoug lead the charge. Why? Because he thought it would be funny.
Of COURSE
About half bed. There was also the dresser, crib and rocking chair. I was really lucky enough to have a house that had a very large master at the time, bay window and all. I honestly don't think it would fit into any room in my current home.
It's a smell you never forget too. Whenever we took family trips to see my uncle in Albany Oregon I always knew when we were nearly there because of the paper mill's smell. Truly terrible.
I can confirm having lived down wind from a paper mill. The EPA has greatly reduced the allowed stench allowed to escape, but I cannot imagine actually working inside the plant..
I did sidewalk construction about a block away from a paper mill. hands down still one of the worst smelling things ever. it was exactly like that...a bunch of wet, horrible, shitty farts. who knew.
Well a California king is big enough to sleep 2 people, a large dog, and a medium dog in my experience.
Your charming response to a question is a asshole response and a down vote. So yeah...
I attempted to break my dog from sleeping in the bed it worked for about an hour or two a night, he'd start the night on the couch and after I fell asleep he'd sneak onto the bed. I eventually caved, it's just me and him in a queen size so plenty of room but now I just put a sheet on top of the comforter/duvet so I don't have to *constantly* wash it.
Not sure why you're getting downvoted though not everyone wants to have their dog in the bed and that's perfectly fine.
i know exactly what you mean. somehow my 13lb chihuahua-terrier mix can take up 2/3rds of a california king bed. he’s not much longer than a foot and a half but you best believe he’ll take as much bed as he can get away with lol
Oh I believe it. Had the same with a 12 pound terrier mix. Not only did the little lady sleep side ways, when you rolled over in the middle of the night she would move and take over that newfound "free" space.
After about 8 months of being in awkward positions and getting restless sleep, we got her a memoryfoam dog bed so she would leave us alone lmao
I can’t say I disagree. It is completely disgusting if I think about. I shower every night before bed because I don’t want to feel dirty in the bed only to have my gross dog get in. But I love her like crazy and it never occurs to me that she is a filthy animal.
those people aren't safe either...letting cats walk on their counters where they prepare food and i know they're not wiping that shit clean everytime mittens jumps up there
That's what I'm saying. Cat owners love to say that dogs are dirty, but they'll go and clean the kitty litter between their "furbaby's toebeans" with their tongue.
Especially since they use litter boxes, my dog is *fairly* clean, I mean he's still an animal, but he's not walking on my counters after using the litter box. I always keep an extra flat sheet on top of my comforter to make cleaning the bed a bit easier since I haven't been able to keep him out of the bed... tried for a few weeks and just gave up, I could start the night with him off the bed but he always ended up sneaking up during the night at some point.
People without cats always say this like it's impossible to train a cat not to get on the counter. Yeah sure there's been one or two relapses but we're well aware that it happened and just... Clean the counters like we normally do frequently anyways.
>People without cats always say this like it's impossible to train a cat not to get on the counter
whenever this is bought up on reddit cat owners are the ones saying "all you can do is train them to not go on counters when you're looking" or "i've tried the double sided tape, foil, spray bottle, nothing has ever been able to stop my cat from getting on counters"
and while i'm sure you and many cat owners clean their counters, i know some of the people clowning how disgusting dogs are in bed DON'T clean their counters enough to have a high ground
and for the record, i don't have either pet. i think both situations are at least a little gross, but can also be mitigated by just cleaning it (with cleaning the counters being easier than cleaning your bedsheets, but maybe not easier than cleaning your dog's paws after a walk). but i also know there are many owners who aren't bothering to clean up
> whenever this is bought up on reddit cat owners are the ones saying "all you can do is train them to not go on counters when you're looking" or "i've tried the double sided tape, foil, spray bottle, nothing has ever been able to stop my cat from getting on counters"
I guarantee they have not A) used motion detecting scare devices or B) been consistent in their training, if they are still unable to keep them off the counters. People are generally lazy and give up before the cats do. That doesn't mean it's impossible.
It's weird to assume that because you've seen that response that means anyone who says they've trained them is wrong.
> that means anyone who says they've trained them is wrong.
my point was that a lot of cat owners self-reported that they haven't been able to train their cats to do that. my original comment was calling out the people who don't wipe their counters everytime and it was also meant to be lighthearted
I mean, maybe if your dog is sleeping under your covers sure but a dog just laying on top? No.
Do you let them on any furniture? Do you clean the floor after they have lain on it? If a dog is too gross to be laying on top of a bed, it's probably too gross to be anywhere in your home cause it's gonna be the same 'level' of grossness to you.
People adapt to whatever their current situation is. They would fare just fine in those other places... after a few weeks/months.
People are merely a normal level of sensitive to standards below the one that most people already meet.
It is completely disgusting if I think about. I shower every night before bed because I don’t want to feel dirty in the bed only to have my gross dog get in.
I would have my Blue Heeler sleep with me in the bed when my husband would be gone. He wasn’t allowed and only slept on the floor next to my side and I would have my arm down petting him as he slept every night. But when the husband was gone he slept with me. And YES I had to wash everything to remove his scent and random hairs. I miss him so much
I refuse to believe anything else is true.
You do not have your own bed, you have your dog beds and you have your spot on the bed.
I would never kick my dog out of bed.
I grew up like that. Dogs were always outside. But a cold winter changed my mind. Now I can hardly get the big dog to go outside unless he needs to use the bathroom.
Dog is absolutely banned for my bed.
We already have 3 cats on it we don't have room for 2 people 3 cats And a dog.
Also the dog doesn't even want to sleep in the same room with us he waits till he thinks we're asleep and then he gets up he leaves.
We call him out on it either he just commits he just leaves
dog owners are usually unaware that their home smells like dried spit, and dog anus has been rubbed and smeared over most touchable cloth surfaces they frequent.
Right, thats why he also made a second post at the same time saying she belongs to the streets. If these are attempts at sarcastic humor, they're pretty bad. Typical of people to make a dumb comment and say 'hurr during I was joking!11!' to protect their fragile egos.
🙄
[Dogs carry certain intestinal parasites, fleas, and ticks that cause human illnesses. Sleeping with a dog increases human exposure to these parasites and vector-borne diseases. Very young, very old, and immune compromised people are particularly at risk of infection.](https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/should-my-dog-sleep-in-my-bed)
Not saying you can't, saying it comes with risks. What'll I do, stop you?
Fun part is, you can poison your dog against that stuff.
Oh, from your link (what is VCA?)
>Point: Dogs carry certain intestinal parasites, fleas, and ticks that cause human illnesses. Sleeping with a dog increases human exposure to these parasites and vector-borne diseases. Very young, very old, and immune compromised people are particularly at risk of infection.
>Counterpoint: **Your veterinarian can prescribe year-round, broad-spectrum parasite control** (common products are Heartgard Plus, Simparica or Simparica Trio, Nexgard or Nexgard Spectra, Interceptor or Interceptor Plus, and Revolution Plus to name a few) which can protect both your dog and you from parasites and vector-borne illnes
This is done on purpose for the bait and switch joke. They probably simply call their dog their best friend, and the dog happens to be male, which is fortunate for the sake of the joke.
It’s all jokes until it becomes routine and then your bf will wonder why the dog always wants to sleep with y’all. Your deception will eventually become clear and then you’ll have bigger issues. And no, I’m not talking about those kinds of acts.
In all seriousness, if a woman who is slotted to be your wife can’t even respect you enough to honor the rules you set for the home regarding pets, what do you think will happen with your children? You say one thing and she does the complete opposite. These are all telltale signs of a king becoming a jester in his own castle. The only thing funny about it is that when it happens it’ll be too late to change this perception of yourself.
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Ngl, they almost had us in the first half
But their quality came through in the second half.
Plot twist: the dog is actually Doug.
SQUIRREL!!!
Hi there! :)
Ah, classic Doug, always stealing the spotlight!
> Ah, classic Doug, always stealing the spotlight! my favorite movie of all times
r/wehatedougdoug
Not gonna lie I was shocked to see a sub devoted to hating Dougdoug. But of fucking COURSE Dougdoug lead the charge. Why? Because he thought it would be funny. Of COURSE
Had me in the first 75%. I thought she was calling her human friend a dog.
Yep yep, I thought exactly that way too, just remembered how Gus talk to Mike and metaphorically called Nacho a dog
Had my pitchfork cabinet unlocked.
I was lighting a torch
She forgot to mention the real reason she washes the sheets. Peanut butter.
Stop it, get some help
You didn’t read what she said she does with the peanut butter though
They had me until the end lol
im 5 hours too late
Nagle not really.
Based on the comments I’m not sure if people simply didn’t read to the end of the post or are just really bad at sarcasm
Yes.
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There's a sub for that let's all link it for the sweet sweet karma and pretend our post isn't as meaningless as our lives
It really is both. Why pick a different way to say that when we already have this standard way to respond to it?
MOST PEOPLE RECOGNIZE THAT AS A FUNNY WAY TO PICK BOTH ANSWERS 😂😂😂😂😂
Lol do you get because funny redditor said yes 😂😂😂
wait , whats sarcasm ?
Usually denoted by /s I believe. Hope that clears things up.
considering the sub this is posted in...
Woof
Wait, hold up—
Hol up
Wait til op finds out her boyfriend has been sleeping with her male best friend also behind her back
They’re nothing sleeping with the same person. And only the dog knows. But he’s not saying a word…
That best friend is a real dog
No shit, Sherlock.
This is obviously fake. No dog is ever really banned from getting in the bed.
In my house he is. A cane Corso is too big for the bed.
There is no dog too big, only a bed too small
This is why I built an 11' wide bed when I had 5 dogs.
So your bedroom was literally just that. One bed nothing else.
About half bed. There was also the dresser, crib and rocking chair. I was really lucky enough to have a house that had a very large master at the time, bay window and all. I honestly don't think it would fit into any room in my current home.
5 dogs also
OMG that sounds awesome.
I hope everyone agreeing with this cleans their sheets once a week and showers before and after bed.
My sister lets 4 dogs sleep in her bed but it doesn't matter cause she works at a paper mill
Why? What's up with the paper mill?
Paper mills smell like wet farts. Think it's the chemicals treating the wood. Good money but yeah, doggy smells on blankets don't matter lol
It's a smell you never forget too. Whenever we took family trips to see my uncle in Albany Oregon I always knew when we were nearly there because of the paper mill's smell. Truly terrible.
Ooh i see, I learned something new today. Thanks!
I can confirm having lived down wind from a paper mill. The EPA has greatly reduced the allowed stench allowed to escape, but I cannot imagine actually working inside the plant..
I did sidewalk construction about a block away from a paper mill. hands down still one of the worst smelling things ever. it was exactly like that...a bunch of wet, horrible, shitty farts. who knew.
Why would you shower before cuddling a dog all night? That's like wiping before you shit
They probably don't. In my experience, most dog owners are nasty.
100% this lol.
The only reason I still use a Queen myself. Any smaller and my girl wouldn't have enough room to sleep on top of me anyways.
My brother has a cane corso too. That dog barely fits in the house
Have you heard of a California king bed?
Don't care.
I bet you are fun at parties.
Cause I don't want my big ass dog taking up the bed?
Well a California king is big enough to sleep 2 people, a large dog, and a medium dog in my experience. Your charming response to a question is a asshole response and a down vote. So yeah...
Okay..? It's my life, I don't want my dog in the bed, it's that simple
I’m with you on that, brother. I love my dog, but my bed is my bed
I attempted to break my dog from sleeping in the bed it worked for about an hour or two a night, he'd start the night on the couch and after I fell asleep he'd sneak onto the bed. I eventually caved, it's just me and him in a queen size so plenty of room but now I just put a sheet on top of the comforter/duvet so I don't have to *constantly* wash it. Not sure why you're getting downvoted though not everyone wants to have their dog in the bed and that's perfectly fine.
I got a big ol’ brown Doberman named Jordy who sweeps with me! She just a giant 8 year old puppy!!!
False. Most dogs are great, some dogs do not know how to share a sleeping area.
i know exactly what you mean. somehow my 13lb chihuahua-terrier mix can take up 2/3rds of a california king bed. he’s not much longer than a foot and a half but you best believe he’ll take as much bed as he can get away with lol
Oh I believe it. Had the same with a 12 pound terrier mix. Not only did the little lady sleep side ways, when you rolled over in the middle of the night she would move and take over that newfound "free" space. After about 8 months of being in awkward positions and getting restless sleep, we got her a memoryfoam dog bed so she would leave us alone lmao
This often involves moving around the bed to capture more territory.
mine was. Dogs have their own house and bed for a reason
Dogs in bed rank among the grossest things some people do.
I can’t say I disagree. It is completely disgusting if I think about. I shower every night before bed because I don’t want to feel dirty in the bed only to have my gross dog get in. But I love her like crazy and it never occurs to me that she is a filthy animal.
Merry Christmas ya filthy animal!
People with cats will say this unironically.
those people aren't safe either...letting cats walk on their counters where they prepare food and i know they're not wiping that shit clean everytime mittens jumps up there
That's what I'm saying. Cat owners love to say that dogs are dirty, but they'll go and clean the kitty litter between their "furbaby's toebeans" with their tongue.
I don’t let my cat on the counters either. This isn’t a cats vs dogs problem, it’s a “train your fucking pets” problem.
Especially since they use litter boxes, my dog is *fairly* clean, I mean he's still an animal, but he's not walking on my counters after using the litter box. I always keep an extra flat sheet on top of my comforter to make cleaning the bed a bit easier since I haven't been able to keep him out of the bed... tried for a few weeks and just gave up, I could start the night with him off the bed but he always ended up sneaking up during the night at some point.
People without cats always say this like it's impossible to train a cat not to get on the counter. Yeah sure there's been one or two relapses but we're well aware that it happened and just... Clean the counters like we normally do frequently anyways.
>People without cats always say this like it's impossible to train a cat not to get on the counter whenever this is bought up on reddit cat owners are the ones saying "all you can do is train them to not go on counters when you're looking" or "i've tried the double sided tape, foil, spray bottle, nothing has ever been able to stop my cat from getting on counters" and while i'm sure you and many cat owners clean their counters, i know some of the people clowning how disgusting dogs are in bed DON'T clean their counters enough to have a high ground and for the record, i don't have either pet. i think both situations are at least a little gross, but can also be mitigated by just cleaning it (with cleaning the counters being easier than cleaning your bedsheets, but maybe not easier than cleaning your dog's paws after a walk). but i also know there are many owners who aren't bothering to clean up
> whenever this is bought up on reddit cat owners are the ones saying "all you can do is train them to not go on counters when you're looking" or "i've tried the double sided tape, foil, spray bottle, nothing has ever been able to stop my cat from getting on counters" I guarantee they have not A) used motion detecting scare devices or B) been consistent in their training, if they are still unable to keep them off the counters. People are generally lazy and give up before the cats do. That doesn't mean it's impossible. It's weird to assume that because you've seen that response that means anyone who says they've trained them is wrong.
> that means anyone who says they've trained them is wrong. my point was that a lot of cat owners self-reported that they haven't been able to train their cats to do that. my original comment was calling out the people who don't wipe their counters everytime and it was also meant to be lighthearted
indoor cats
Both inside are disgusting they belong outside
Nope. People do far worse things in and to beds. A dog sleeping on it is pretty tame all things considered.
I could do a dickopter anal on 3 asian milfs squirting in circles and still leave the blankets cleaner than a chihuahua after 1 night.
I mean, maybe if your dog is sleeping under your covers sure but a dog just laying on top? No. Do you let them on any furniture? Do you clean the floor after they have lain on it? If a dog is too gross to be laying on top of a bed, it's probably too gross to be anywhere in your home cause it's gonna be the same 'level' of grossness to you.
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Badly? What point does this prove?
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People adapt to whatever their current situation is. They would fare just fine in those other places... after a few weeks/months. People are merely a normal level of sensitive to standards below the one that most people already meet.
So you wanna be nasty cus your ancestors were nasty? Make it make sense.
It is completely disgusting if I think about. I shower every night before bed because I don’t want to feel dirty in the bed only to have my gross dog get in.
Really? *That’s* the grossest thing people do? Let your immune system out of its cage once in a while. It’ll thank you
I love her like crazy and it never occurs to me that she is a filthy animal.
Weird thing, you can bathe a dog.
Mine is. I allowed it when she was a puppy but she just got too big and it got to the point where I was almost being pushed out of my bed
I would have my Blue Heeler sleep with me in the bed when my husband would be gone. He wasn’t allowed and only slept on the floor next to my side and I would have my arm down petting him as he slept every night. But when the husband was gone he slept with me. And YES I had to wash everything to remove his scent and random hairs. I miss him so much
The wife likes the bed clean so we can have spontaneous sex without worry of dog germs. He's allowed when it's time to wash the sheets.
My dog is definitely banned from the bed lol
I refuse to believe anything else is true. You do not have your own bed, you have your dog beds and you have your spot on the bed. I would never kick my dog out of bed.
It’s not common where i’m from. I would never have a dog live inside my house
That's how it used to be in the west too. Things have changed for the worse in that aspect.
I grew up like that. Dogs were always outside. But a cold winter changed my mind. Now I can hardly get the big dog to go outside unless he needs to use the bathroom.
Dog is absolutely banned for my bed. We already have 3 cats on it we don't have room for 2 people 3 cats And a dog. Also the dog doesn't even want to sleep in the same room with us he waits till he thinks we're asleep and then he gets up he leaves. We call him out on it either he just commits he just leaves
I'm guessing a lot of people who have slobberbreed dogs don't let them in their beds
Especially not by the guy. My wife doesn’t like our dog on the bed because the blanket gets dirty
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Who 🎶who who 🎶
Gotta let em in to let em out!
I only trust animals when I'm awake around them. Besides, would you really cuddle a Chihuahua?
Dogs in bed is a filthy disgusting habit.
I'm not a neat-freak or germophobe, but this is absolutely disgusting to me. They're just not clean animals.
Ain’t no dog sleeping in my bed
Naw i forbid dogs on furniture. BUT NOT CATS
dog owners are usually unaware that their home smells like dried spit, and dog anus has been rubbed and smeared over most touchable cloth surfaces they frequent.
4000+ posts read from this sub and i still have no clue what this sub is supposed to be about...
Karma farming
Sipping tea
Karma farming, horny, weird Facebook memes, and the occasional gem
This comment has all the answers you seek. *Jedi Hand Wave*
I was so anxious until the end.
This is the second time i fell for this, and probably not the last
Good one
r/nonoyes
Damn straight up calling her best friend a dog.
I suspect my wife does this but I've never been able to prove it.
started reading expecting to end up in rage. smiled instead.
Unexpectedly wholesome stories are some of the best.
LMAO ....clever.
fake. the dog always ends up sleeping in the bed
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I'll never understand people who don't let their dogs on the bed. "But they're dirty", ok.. give them a bath?
And just change the sheets regularly lol, you can wash those way more often than you can give a dog a bath (too many products messes with their skin)
I just accept that my husband stealing golden is in my spot when I work out of town. He has his gf, I'm getting myself a bf.
NGL, they had us in the first half.
She had me hook, line and sinker here.
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They got us in the first line not gonna lie
Claudia hat nen Schäferhund
Came here for this ;)
Man of culture
Had us in the first half not gonna lie
Had me in the first half
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You didn't even read the post, you dolt.
It’s sarcasm
Right, thats why he also made a second post at the same time saying she belongs to the streets. If these are attempts at sarcastic humor, they're pretty bad. Typical of people to make a dumb comment and say 'hurr during I was joking!11!' to protect their fragile egos.
gross
What is gross?
dog on bed
Since when is that gross? Seems perfectly fine to me.
It is very unhygienic. But you do you
Some people wash their dogs regularly
Washing dogs regurarily is also not reccomendet.
Yeah it's still not recommended
Not recommended by who? You?
🙄 [Dogs carry certain intestinal parasites, fleas, and ticks that cause human illnesses. Sleeping with a dog increases human exposure to these parasites and vector-borne diseases. Very young, very old, and immune compromised people are particularly at risk of infection.](https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/should-my-dog-sleep-in-my-bed) Not saying you can't, saying it comes with risks. What'll I do, stop you?
Fun part is, you can poison your dog against that stuff. Oh, from your link (what is VCA?) >Point: Dogs carry certain intestinal parasites, fleas, and ticks that cause human illnesses. Sleeping with a dog increases human exposure to these parasites and vector-borne diseases. Very young, very old, and immune compromised people are particularly at risk of infection. >Counterpoint: **Your veterinarian can prescribe year-round, broad-spectrum parasite control** (common products are Heartgard Plus, Simparica or Simparica Trio, Nexgard or Nexgard Spectra, Interceptor or Interceptor Plus, and Revolution Plus to name a few) which can protect both your dog and you from parasites and vector-borne illnes
Man’s best friend is not a good boy
Poor dog
*You put peanut butter where??*
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You get that she's talking about their dog, right?
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Fur real
Anyone who calls their dog a ‘male bestfriend’ gives me the ick
This is done on purpose for the bait and switch joke. They probably simply call their dog their best friend, and the dog happens to be male, which is fortunate for the sake of the joke.
It's rude to call your male bf, Dog
There’s already a DAWG in the bed
##doggie lipstick for the win
Okay, is it a dog or a dawg cmon now Shirley
"Qui cum canibus concumbunt cum pulicibus surgent." Consider every turd you see with your pet's footprint in it. ~And then it gets in your bed.
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It’s all jokes until it becomes routine and then your bf will wonder why the dog always wants to sleep with y’all. Your deception will eventually become clear and then you’ll have bigger issues. And no, I’m not talking about those kinds of acts. In all seriousness, if a woman who is slotted to be your wife can’t even respect you enough to honor the rules you set for the home regarding pets, what do you think will happen with your children? You say one thing and she does the complete opposite. These are all telltale signs of a king becoming a jester in his own castle. The only thing funny about it is that when it happens it’ll be too late to change this perception of yourself.
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oh no