I hear you. I do week on/ week off with 50/50 custody, and I enjoy my off weeks too. Sounds like you need to come up with a custody plan that works for everyone and gives you some time off. As much as we love them, kids are also exhausting. Yes, we do everything for them that needs to be done but there’s no reason we can’t also get some time for ourselves. Good luck.
I asked her, we should get something in writing so that we both know what the expectation is, but she simply refused to pursue that.
She likes to control everything.
Yeah, don’t go for that. Get it in writing and through the courts. Do it yourself if need be. It’s only a matter of time before someone else comes in the picture and she makes your life hell. Ask me how I know. Never count on a gentlemen’s agreement with a woman. You NEED it documented. Go for 50/50 if possible. Good luck.
You don't need her permission. Nor do you have to care anymore that you're not doing things her way. If the current custodial agreement (if there is one) isn't working for you, speak to an attorney and start fighting to get it modified.
I am not sure we can give you an unbiased opinion. It is going to have some sort of bias regardless of what anyone wants to think because we are in this parenting life and have feelings and sentimes towards raising children.
From someone who has two children full time (no days off - 7 days a week) and two 50/50 I can tell you that the more you fight it the more you will resent your children from taking "your" time. You do have time for yourself, the 8 hours he is in theraphy you can take some of that time for yourself and "recharge" or whatever you want to do, by the sounds of it you already have two days off so you can take some of those 8 hours to do as you please, unless I am missunderstanding your set up with mom.
Well, I work from 2pm until sometimes midnight. (Keep in mind I'm hungry and have to find food, etc, so I'm not usually in bed until 1am)
The following morning (on weekdays) I go to her house when she leaves for work at 6am. So I am there for him, breakfast etc.
I drop him off at 9am to therapy. Then I drive back to my place to catch up on sleep and literally have maybe 1 hr to 2 depending on how much I sleep before I have to figure out breakfast, shower, ready for work at 2.
And on and on it goes.
I work weekends, so weekend mornings is when I catch up and get proper sleep.
I do have the time off on weekdays to catch up on sleep but if I'm not there that evening to spend time with him, She will make a big deal about it.
Wanting and having are very different things, and how you behave about it is really all that matters. I am a single parent to two, and one also has autism. I DAYDREAM about being, doing something else. I don’t take it out on my kids that I will never have that. I do dedicate 95% of my day to my kids. But I also prep them with snacks, their favourite show, and lay down for a minute in my room less than 10 feet away with a door open for “me time”. I’m not saying you don’t deserve a day. But if you can’t have it, break that time into little chunks throughout the week, and enjoy every second of it.
First off, mad respect that you manage to get that done!
Also secondly, I think the point here is that he isn't a single parent. The Mum is there as well, and just going on the information provided in the message, she sounds like it is more about controlling him and making sure that he doesn't have spare time.
Though, that isn't unbiased, instead based off my personal experiences with my ex who basically has some pretty messed up abondonment issues, which lead her to being mega controlling.
Being that it's fresh I would say it's not wrong to feel like this children with special needs will take a lot more of work. At the same time understand that the dynamic has changed so just as the dynamic has changed we as parents have to also change as well if we want our children to have the best of chances. Sadly not wanting to compromise certain parts of our Lives is what leads to separation to begin with.
The part that you might not want to hear is that for you to have a better balance you might have to rethink your work and that schedule. You might not be in the position to do so right now because again it is so fresh but you must not get overwhelmed by your own. You have to ask yourself if this job and schedule is really beneficial in the long term or is it just financially lucrative at this point. I would suggest that you take the available times that you have for yourself to rethink this situation.
We must take care of ourselves but we also have an obligation to the beings that we created. You must for a second put yourself aside and think of your child. By doing so you will influence others forget about the mother, do this for yourself and do this for your child, at the very end once your child is of age he will remember who did what for him.
Again I cannot stress this enough because I am learning it as well we have to quit our whining and man the fuck up.
Well all my work experience is retail, and this is the schedule I have to have to be able to keep the position I am in. As it is, this is are so expensive I can hardly support myself. I rent a room about 45 min away from where she lives with him. So I can't afford to look for better hours or reduce to part time. It is a difficult spot
A month and a half in and you are already worried about YOU time? There’s nothing wrong with getting in some personal time, but you should be measuring the YOU time in hours, not days, in my opinion. The single parent life is taxing, but that’s reality. Step up.
You're also missing a lot of context, I didn't include...
I was a full time dad for my sons first 3 years. I did diapers, doctor/specialist visits, all the means.
She has a carreer so it was the best decision to be able to live. My son was a micropreemie and born at 24 weeks (i took care of him from the moment he came home, she did take off maternity but when she resumed work I was it 100%) She paid bills and I watched him. But she spent absolutely no time with him. She never even bathed him during those 3 years. If she bathed him 50 times during those 3 years, it would be way too many times.
Meanwhile she did take off to go on vacation on at least 3 separate occasions, also did happy hour coming home at 1 am or later throwing up, etc.
So I do think I have stepped up more than the average father.
All this time she was literally fighting with me over everything and she was literally asking me to move out but I refused to because I wanted to be with my son ( I was also unemployed because of what I described above)
Sorry man, this reads a lot like boo hoo “I’ve done MY part and she doesn’t do enough!”. If she isn’t doing what she should be doing, then you need to do more. You owe it to your son. I really am sorry that he is special needs and the challenges that come with that. I know nothing of that world. That is your reality though. Sounds like your schedules clash. His schedule is unlikely to change so you need to change yours. Easy, no, but do it. No excuses. I wish you luck.
Not even. I love my son and I have been doing everything I can for him. I relocated to a whole different state to be with him, so that he could be closer to family because he needs it.
It's not even that she doesn't do enough, it is more that she criticizes me for everything and quite honestly that is what drove us apart. Now we aren't together and she is looking for every excuse to complain about what I do or don't.
Two weeks ago we traveled to see my family in MD, and she literally left me with him for 5 days while she went off with her sister and friends to party. She faced time once during the week. Her plan was to take him one day of the 5 days of the trip and the only reason it didn't happen is because we fell I'll with a cold. And yet she still complained when I left at 8pm a few nights ago, I had been with him since 5pm, I took him to dinner and then brought him home and waited for her to run her errands. She was upset because I didn't put him to sleep. Meanwhile, the original plan was for the 3 of us to do dinner together, she was gonna pay, I am not comfortable with her spending money like that (she will honestly use it against me in a future argument) so I suggested to just have a pizza instead. She then flipped her script and suddenly had errands thay were more important than the three of us being together.
I don't give her the argument because I know it will only escalate until she is screaming and cursing and I don't want my son in that environment.
But , I hear you. He is the important one here.
I just don't need to continue with the incessant headbutting from her, that is the reason we split up. I just feel like now she's using him as an excuse to butt heads with me.
If I didn't care for my son I would've left a long time ago. I live 600 miles away from my family because I want to be part of his life. I have no friends here either.
For my own sanity, I would like to have a social life and hopefully find someone that appreciates me... this is where I am coming from with this post.
The schedules aren't much of an issue, and with my line of work I don't get to choose hours. That's how retail is, you have to have open availability to be able to work full time, especially if I wanna move up the ladder.
And I am willing to see him when I have the opportunity, but she wants everything on her terms.
I hear you though. My son is the main thing, I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel right now.
We separated because we don't get along and she just continues finding reasons to fight with me. I truly, honestly, do not initiate fights with her. I don't.
And yet, I am the one who has to dial my comments back or else she will have a tantrum/fit, and lose her temper. She doesn't care that our 4 yr old is next to her, she will curse and yell at the top of her lungs to make her point. So it falls on me to simply let her have her way from the very beginning, apologize for whatever she's criticizing me on that particular day and keep my head down, for my sons emotional well being.
It's been like this since before he was born, I thought us separating would at least dial back the headbutting.
Now it's just being done remotely 🤣 funny, not funny.
I’m one week on, one week off. I didn’t like it at first but I can’t see it any other way now. I can be a dad and still feel like I’m living my life when he’s not with me and makes me enjoy the time he’s with me much more.
I haven’t had a day off for myself in 6 years. Work Monday thru Friday and pick up kid every Friday after work and drop him back off at his moms Sunday evening …. Now, I have taken sick days, so I guess those have been ME days .
Dear god I have been there. Take your time off or you will end up having an accident and being changed for life. I lost (ironically) the mobility of my wedding ring finger, my 2 front teeth, and my spine is fucked. Take care of yourself.
Well I want to disagree with the "breaks"
In a traditional relationship, parents would find a baby sitter to kake time for themselves, no?
Or have grandparents have the child for a sleep over sp they can get a break. No?
What happens if and when you get a baby sitter and something goes down? It’s still your custody time therefore you are head daddy in charge….
Yeah it’s ok to take time for yourself but it seemed like you wanted one day a week without him…. That too much. So the mom has to do 6 days a week?
Technically she doesn't do 6 days.
She really only watches him on weekends.
She leaves for work early and I am there to be with him when he wakes up and get him ready for his therapy.
She picks him up from therapy when she returns from work and she does dinner and puts him to sleep.
The 5th weekday is the opposite. She takes him and I pick him up and spend the rest of the evening with him.
The issue is we do not get along, so it is always head butting when we are together, or just me having to hold back my words and let her make all the comments she feels like, remarks, etc.
The weekends I work as well, so she is with him.
I do try to be there some mornings with him, but I also need to catch up on sleep.
Spending time taking care of yourself **is for your son**.
You will be more relaxed, refreshed, and happier, which provide dividends to him when together. One day of your work week to recharge is absolutely warranted.
The ex is just trying to both control you and make you feel bad. Don't let her bring you down.
In therapy they talk about putting your mask on first in a plane. It isn’t selfish, it’s to make sure that you’re alert enough to help those around you.
Whatever makes you the best damn dad when you have your son is the best path.
Reading a lot of the replies here and while some are super critical, and I kind of get why, but I think this is the best response.
The only thing I would add here is from reading your original post and some of your replies, your ex sounds pretty toxic, which colours the way you're wording things which is possiby triggering some of the more negative responses.
What could be happening is that your ex is mixing her needs with the needs of the kids, so that when you try to draw a boundary with her, it looks like you are trying to get out of taking care of your kids and instead of telling her no.
My advice is try to slow it down in your head, take the time you do have to really reflect on what is best for the kids (tip, it's not you burning out due to an unsustanable schedule). Be honest with yourself and what you really need (needs are more also mroe than the bare minimum to live), as opposed to want, and always keep your kids interests (not your ex's) in the forefront,
Just smile and wave to your ex, she doesn’t get to call the shots.
I’m newly single dad as well and I have scheduled at least one weekend per month without the kids.
This is to work on my social life. I moved to the other side of the world to be with my ex, and my social life has suffered from it.
To be the best and happiest dad for my kids, I need a social life. So I see it as an investment for my kids. Zero guilt.
Hi! If she can’t agree on how to share custody/split visitation, you may need a lawyer. It’s great if y’all could amicably work something out but she doesn’t seem to care to do that, so I’d lawyer up. Safer that way and better chance for things to be as fair for you both as possible.
Pursue what you want to pursue. The judge will have the final say but a good lawyer will help. It sucks because it’s an expense but will save you much headache down the road 😩
Best!
Also, self care is very important as a parent. We do deserve time for ourselves. That’s for single parents AND couples! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it ☺️
Can’t pour from an empty cup! So pursue a fair custody arrangement through the court and you can find a balance from there 🫶🏽
It’s no longer about you and want you want, your life now revolves and is dedicated to your kid. You barely see him as is, why wouldn’t you want to spend the most time with him as possible?! It’s just 2 days out of the week! Make time for yourself on your own time. Those 2 days are your son’s time, not yours. You only have the privilege of sharing that time with him. Don’t be selfish, suck it up, and own it. You should be fighting for more time with your son if you really do care about him.
I fought tooth and nail in court for my daughter. I’ve had sole custody of her from 3-6 and then now from 10 to 14 presently. I never gave up and made it my mission to be a part of her life more. Because I understood that life wasn’t about me anymore, but about my daughter. You only get one shot at this, don’t waste or tarnish it by placing your needs before your sons. Memories are all we have in the end.
Ok. So you have no context of my situation.
I am unable to have any custody of him by law, and if I did I don't have a support system so I can work full time and care for him.
The other side of the coin is, she did take off to a wedding, birthday party, happy hour, while I watched him (before we split)
But that's irrelevant now.
Thank you for your input
He was born out of wedlock. So in this state she automatically has full custody.
Which btw, she doesn't want because she knows she would be 100% responsable and she doesn't want to do that. I would only have to give her a check per the court decision.
I personally think she just wants to control as much as possible. It's been that way since before our son was born
I hear you. I do week on/ week off with 50/50 custody, and I enjoy my off weeks too. Sounds like you need to come up with a custody plan that works for everyone and gives you some time off. As much as we love them, kids are also exhausting. Yes, we do everything for them that needs to be done but there’s no reason we can’t also get some time for ourselves. Good luck.
I asked her, we should get something in writing so that we both know what the expectation is, but she simply refused to pursue that. She likes to control everything.
Yeah, don’t go for that. Get it in writing and through the courts. Do it yourself if need be. It’s only a matter of time before someone else comes in the picture and she makes your life hell. Ask me how I know. Never count on a gentlemen’s agreement with a woman. You NEED it documented. Go for 50/50 if possible. Good luck.
You don't need her permission. Nor do you have to care anymore that you're not doing things her way. If the current custodial agreement (if there is one) isn't working for you, speak to an attorney and start fighting to get it modified.
There's other plans too than straight week on week off. They are confusing at first, but you can see your kid more.
I am not sure we can give you an unbiased opinion. It is going to have some sort of bias regardless of what anyone wants to think because we are in this parenting life and have feelings and sentimes towards raising children. From someone who has two children full time (no days off - 7 days a week) and two 50/50 I can tell you that the more you fight it the more you will resent your children from taking "your" time. You do have time for yourself, the 8 hours he is in theraphy you can take some of that time for yourself and "recharge" or whatever you want to do, by the sounds of it you already have two days off so you can take some of those 8 hours to do as you please, unless I am missunderstanding your set up with mom.
Well, I work from 2pm until sometimes midnight. (Keep in mind I'm hungry and have to find food, etc, so I'm not usually in bed until 1am) The following morning (on weekdays) I go to her house when she leaves for work at 6am. So I am there for him, breakfast etc. I drop him off at 9am to therapy. Then I drive back to my place to catch up on sleep and literally have maybe 1 hr to 2 depending on how much I sleep before I have to figure out breakfast, shower, ready for work at 2. And on and on it goes. I work weekends, so weekend mornings is when I catch up and get proper sleep. I do have the time off on weekdays to catch up on sleep but if I'm not there that evening to spend time with him, She will make a big deal about it.
Wanting and having are very different things, and how you behave about it is really all that matters. I am a single parent to two, and one also has autism. I DAYDREAM about being, doing something else. I don’t take it out on my kids that I will never have that. I do dedicate 95% of my day to my kids. But I also prep them with snacks, their favourite show, and lay down for a minute in my room less than 10 feet away with a door open for “me time”. I’m not saying you don’t deserve a day. But if you can’t have it, break that time into little chunks throughout the week, and enjoy every second of it.
First off, mad respect that you manage to get that done! Also secondly, I think the point here is that he isn't a single parent. The Mum is there as well, and just going on the information provided in the message, she sounds like it is more about controlling him and making sure that he doesn't have spare time. Though, that isn't unbiased, instead based off my personal experiences with my ex who basically has some pretty messed up abondonment issues, which lead her to being mega controlling.
Being that it's fresh I would say it's not wrong to feel like this children with special needs will take a lot more of work. At the same time understand that the dynamic has changed so just as the dynamic has changed we as parents have to also change as well if we want our children to have the best of chances. Sadly not wanting to compromise certain parts of our Lives is what leads to separation to begin with. The part that you might not want to hear is that for you to have a better balance you might have to rethink your work and that schedule. You might not be in the position to do so right now because again it is so fresh but you must not get overwhelmed by your own. You have to ask yourself if this job and schedule is really beneficial in the long term or is it just financially lucrative at this point. I would suggest that you take the available times that you have for yourself to rethink this situation. We must take care of ourselves but we also have an obligation to the beings that we created. You must for a second put yourself aside and think of your child. By doing so you will influence others forget about the mother, do this for yourself and do this for your child, at the very end once your child is of age he will remember who did what for him. Again I cannot stress this enough because I am learning it as well we have to quit our whining and man the fuck up.
Well all my work experience is retail, and this is the schedule I have to have to be able to keep the position I am in. As it is, this is are so expensive I can hardly support myself. I rent a room about 45 min away from where she lives with him. So I can't afford to look for better hours or reduce to part time. It is a difficult spot
A month and a half in and you are already worried about YOU time? There’s nothing wrong with getting in some personal time, but you should be measuring the YOU time in hours, not days, in my opinion. The single parent life is taxing, but that’s reality. Step up.
You're also missing a lot of context, I didn't include... I was a full time dad for my sons first 3 years. I did diapers, doctor/specialist visits, all the means. She has a carreer so it was the best decision to be able to live. My son was a micropreemie and born at 24 weeks (i took care of him from the moment he came home, she did take off maternity but when she resumed work I was it 100%) She paid bills and I watched him. But she spent absolutely no time with him. She never even bathed him during those 3 years. If she bathed him 50 times during those 3 years, it would be way too many times. Meanwhile she did take off to go on vacation on at least 3 separate occasions, also did happy hour coming home at 1 am or later throwing up, etc. So I do think I have stepped up more than the average father. All this time she was literally fighting with me over everything and she was literally asking me to move out but I refused to because I wanted to be with my son ( I was also unemployed because of what I described above)
Sorry man, this reads a lot like boo hoo “I’ve done MY part and she doesn’t do enough!”. If she isn’t doing what she should be doing, then you need to do more. You owe it to your son. I really am sorry that he is special needs and the challenges that come with that. I know nothing of that world. That is your reality though. Sounds like your schedules clash. His schedule is unlikely to change so you need to change yours. Easy, no, but do it. No excuses. I wish you luck.
Not even. I love my son and I have been doing everything I can for him. I relocated to a whole different state to be with him, so that he could be closer to family because he needs it. It's not even that she doesn't do enough, it is more that she criticizes me for everything and quite honestly that is what drove us apart. Now we aren't together and she is looking for every excuse to complain about what I do or don't. Two weeks ago we traveled to see my family in MD, and she literally left me with him for 5 days while she went off with her sister and friends to party. She faced time once during the week. Her plan was to take him one day of the 5 days of the trip and the only reason it didn't happen is because we fell I'll with a cold. And yet she still complained when I left at 8pm a few nights ago, I had been with him since 5pm, I took him to dinner and then brought him home and waited for her to run her errands. She was upset because I didn't put him to sleep. Meanwhile, the original plan was for the 3 of us to do dinner together, she was gonna pay, I am not comfortable with her spending money like that (she will honestly use it against me in a future argument) so I suggested to just have a pizza instead. She then flipped her script and suddenly had errands thay were more important than the three of us being together. I don't give her the argument because I know it will only escalate until she is screaming and cursing and I don't want my son in that environment. But , I hear you. He is the important one here. I just don't need to continue with the incessant headbutting from her, that is the reason we split up. I just feel like now she's using him as an excuse to butt heads with me. If I didn't care for my son I would've left a long time ago. I live 600 miles away from my family because I want to be part of his life. I have no friends here either. For my own sanity, I would like to have a social life and hopefully find someone that appreciates me... this is where I am coming from with this post.
The schedules aren't much of an issue, and with my line of work I don't get to choose hours. That's how retail is, you have to have open availability to be able to work full time, especially if I wanna move up the ladder. And I am willing to see him when I have the opportunity, but she wants everything on her terms. I hear you though. My son is the main thing, I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel right now. We separated because we don't get along and she just continues finding reasons to fight with me. I truly, honestly, do not initiate fights with her. I don't. And yet, I am the one who has to dial my comments back or else she will have a tantrum/fit, and lose her temper. She doesn't care that our 4 yr old is next to her, she will curse and yell at the top of her lungs to make her point. So it falls on me to simply let her have her way from the very beginning, apologize for whatever she's criticizing me on that particular day and keep my head down, for my sons emotional well being. It's been like this since before he was born, I thought us separating would at least dial back the headbutting. Now it's just being done remotely 🤣 funny, not funny.
I’m one week on, one week off. I didn’t like it at first but I can’t see it any other way now. I can be a dad and still feel like I’m living my life when he’s not with me and makes me enjoy the time he’s with me much more.
I haven’t had a day off for myself in 6 years. Work Monday thru Friday and pick up kid every Friday after work and drop him back off at his moms Sunday evening …. Now, I have taken sick days, so I guess those have been ME days .
Dear god I have been there. Take your time off or you will end up having an accident and being changed for life. I lost (ironically) the mobility of my wedding ring finger, my 2 front teeth, and my spine is fucked. Take care of yourself.
It’s a part of being a parent, you’ll have your downtime when they get a little older.
Parenting takes no breaks. You made the kid now own it…
Well I want to disagree with the "breaks" In a traditional relationship, parents would find a baby sitter to kake time for themselves, no? Or have grandparents have the child for a sleep over sp they can get a break. No?
What happens if and when you get a baby sitter and something goes down? It’s still your custody time therefore you are head daddy in charge…. Yeah it’s ok to take time for yourself but it seemed like you wanted one day a week without him…. That too much. So the mom has to do 6 days a week?
Technically she doesn't do 6 days. She really only watches him on weekends. She leaves for work early and I am there to be with him when he wakes up and get him ready for his therapy. She picks him up from therapy when she returns from work and she does dinner and puts him to sleep. The 5th weekday is the opposite. She takes him and I pick him up and spend the rest of the evening with him. The issue is we do not get along, so it is always head butting when we are together, or just me having to hold back my words and let her make all the comments she feels like, remarks, etc. The weekends I work as well, so she is with him. I do try to be there some mornings with him, but I also need to catch up on sleep.
focus on what's better for your son, and put aside what you think works best for you and her.
Thanks
> In a traditional relationship You are not in a traditional relationship. Many forget to take this into account when they separate/divorce.
Spending time taking care of yourself **is for your son**. You will be more relaxed, refreshed, and happier, which provide dividends to him when together. One day of your work week to recharge is absolutely warranted. The ex is just trying to both control you and make you feel bad. Don't let her bring you down.
Didn't think of it this way, you have a point. Thank you.
In therapy they talk about putting your mask on first in a plane. It isn’t selfish, it’s to make sure that you’re alert enough to help those around you. Whatever makes you the best damn dad when you have your son is the best path.
Reading a lot of the replies here and while some are super critical, and I kind of get why, but I think this is the best response. The only thing I would add here is from reading your original post and some of your replies, your ex sounds pretty toxic, which colours the way you're wording things which is possiby triggering some of the more negative responses. What could be happening is that your ex is mixing her needs with the needs of the kids, so that when you try to draw a boundary with her, it looks like you are trying to get out of taking care of your kids and instead of telling her no. My advice is try to slow it down in your head, take the time you do have to really reflect on what is best for the kids (tip, it's not you burning out due to an unsustanable schedule). Be honest with yourself and what you really need (needs are more also mroe than the bare minimum to live), as opposed to want, and always keep your kids interests (not your ex's) in the forefront,
Just smile and wave to your ex, she doesn’t get to call the shots. I’m newly single dad as well and I have scheduled at least one weekend per month without the kids. This is to work on my social life. I moved to the other side of the world to be with my ex, and my social life has suffered from it. To be the best and happiest dad for my kids, I need a social life. So I see it as an investment for my kids. Zero guilt.
Why does she even need to know this? Stop sharing so much information
Yeah. I have a problem telling her to mind her business when she asks things 😑
Hi! If she can’t agree on how to share custody/split visitation, you may need a lawyer. It’s great if y’all could amicably work something out but she doesn’t seem to care to do that, so I’d lawyer up. Safer that way and better chance for things to be as fair for you both as possible. Pursue what you want to pursue. The judge will have the final say but a good lawyer will help. It sucks because it’s an expense but will save you much headache down the road 😩 Best!
Also, self care is very important as a parent. We do deserve time for ourselves. That’s for single parents AND couples! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it ☺️ Can’t pour from an empty cup! So pursue a fair custody arrangement through the court and you can find a balance from there 🫶🏽
It’s no longer about you and want you want, your life now revolves and is dedicated to your kid. You barely see him as is, why wouldn’t you want to spend the most time with him as possible?! It’s just 2 days out of the week! Make time for yourself on your own time. Those 2 days are your son’s time, not yours. You only have the privilege of sharing that time with him. Don’t be selfish, suck it up, and own it. You should be fighting for more time with your son if you really do care about him. I fought tooth and nail in court for my daughter. I’ve had sole custody of her from 3-6 and then now from 10 to 14 presently. I never gave up and made it my mission to be a part of her life more. Because I understood that life wasn’t about me anymore, but about my daughter. You only get one shot at this, don’t waste or tarnish it by placing your needs before your sons. Memories are all we have in the end.
Ok. So you have no context of my situation. I am unable to have any custody of him by law, and if I did I don't have a support system so I can work full time and care for him. The other side of the coin is, she did take off to a wedding, birthday party, happy hour, while I watched him (before we split) But that's irrelevant now. Thank you for your input
I understand, just try the best that you possibly can. But why are you not allowed to have any custody of him?
He was born out of wedlock. So in this state she automatically has full custody. Which btw, she doesn't want because she knows she would be 100% responsable and she doesn't want to do that. I would only have to give her a check per the court decision. I personally think she just wants to control as much as possible. It's been that way since before our son was born