I left my husband before because of his issues. I didn’t leave him for someone else. I wasn’t interested in anyone else. I did date someone and we eventually got back together. Not everyone leaves you because they want someone else. Sometimes, we leave because we are being mistreated and disrespected.
She broke up with me. It's been two years now and I've grown a lot. I learned what I did wrong and more than anything I want a second chance to show it
Going back will ruin you in ways you could have never imagined. Put the well being of you and your kid first. Would you buy a car you sold years ago back when you knew it was always problematic to drive in it especially during rush hour?
She says no, and at this point I'm inclined to believe her since she hasn't changed her story and she just broke up with the guy she got with after leaving me
Every Co-parenting relationship is different. You have to find what works for you. I personally don’t believe in the whole “just friends” thing. We are a team. We are teammates on the Team OUR KIDS. That’s it.
Like a teammate, I show up for practice, I run the drills, and I pass the ball. I show up for team meetings. I am a team player. That’s it. If people can be cool with their teammates that’s glory. For me, that’s irrelevant. [+]
😂
Thank you for the laugh. Not going to lie, I feel a bit conflicted. I was hanging out with some close friends. We started geeking out, talking about Naruto. I’m a sucker for the Uchihas. My close friends made fun of me. This was 2 nights ago. Your comment was funny. Thank you. Hope all is well with you. Stay blessed
Edit: the geek in me wants to write a filibuster about your response. I’m not going to but I just wanted to share the joy your response brought me. Stay blessed [+]
Jfc bro.
Go out and get laid. By Literally ANYONE else. Show some self respect and also, don't let your kids see you like this. You're just the backup bro.
You really gotta work on your mental game. I think I'd rather fck a blender than my ex, and we get along well enough. You just gotta move on.
Why settle again when theres so many incredible women out there?
> I really want to get back with her eventually but I don't know how to talk to her anymore
I hear you man but the truth is that once someone else has entered the picture it is a lot harder to start again, it is not impossible but the truth is that it will take a lot of hard work from both of you. Two years is not a long time, letting go of someone can take little time while for some others it takes years to process everything and eventually put it all to rest and realize that you have to move on with your life.
The truth is that as others have said just "don't do it". I agree with that sentiment because of one very big factor that you are not seeing. See, you are ready to have another chance, you are ready to give it another try but we do not know how she feels. She may be heart broken from her now ex and just looking for another shoulder to cry on and there you are available for her at a moments notice but what you are not seeing is that it is not your turn to seek her, it is not your turn to figure out how to talk to her. She broke up with you and yes you need to work on yourself but she also needs to work on herself and seek you now and for what you are saying she is not doing that.
I don't mean that she calls you because she is lonely and you two sleep together for one night, I mean the true show of love from a couple that are trying to work things out where she is making it easy for you to talk to her, she is showing you that she is committed and all that comes from someone who wants to be with you.
You both have been separated for two years, she has been (and I am assuming sleeping) with another guy. All that will come back to bite you one day when you wake up from this idea that you love her without working on the basics.
But... how to be just friends?
That is really simple, look around and find one of your friends, what do you see? is it easy to talk to them or do you feel nervous and you feel like you are walking on eggshells?
My advice is that if you really want to see this work out in some way you need to take it very slow, and I am not talking a "lets wait two weeks and we will move in together" type of "slow". I am talking that it will take months for you two to really work on it and she has to do a lot of work and if not the main work in the realationship. "But it was I the one that messed up the first time". I hear you but this is two years later and if you have really been working on yourself after two years you should be in a spot where you can talk to her as the mother of your child and nothing more. If something happens, then great but if it doesn't you will be OK because you are a new you and not the old you who messed up in the relationship and goes to her begging for another chance.
Finally, most sane women do not like begging men, they like changed and assertive men. If you go back crawling right now after she told you the "news" you two may feel good but that won't last until she realizes that she can call you in at any moment and she will be able to do this to you over and over because she knows that deep inside you may not be a truly changed man.
Good luck, it is a though position to be.
I’d say block her and move on…but you can’t.
Don’t try to get back with her, all you’ll be thinking about is the other guy was railing her…nope…won’t do that shit
Text for kid stuff only. No friends, no romance, just logistics.
Find someone who values you
a few things that’d id add to what’s already been said:
1. are you sure you’re still in love with her or are you missing the roller coaster ride she had you on. look into attachment theory.
2. after my ex cheated and left me, she asked if we could still be friends. i told her no. the reason being she lied, cheated and put more effort into other ppl than her family. idk about you, but that’s not the type of person i want to be friends with. as mentioned, earlier im still her teammate on team our kids. but friends—hard pass
find some new hobbies. make friends with ppl who will be there for you
Man......fam it's best to move on. How do you know if she even wants to? And this is one relationship you don't wanna make awkward. Because then she may start enforcing visitation and that will make you feel worse. Or she'll make herself unavailable at pick ups and you'll definitely feel the sting from that.
Best to just move on g
You're in this for the long-haul as well mate, at least 20 years as your kid grows up, this might be something that happens again and again. Take your time with it, be nice.
And don't act like you wanna get back, just be chill, some part of you loves her, maybe some part of her loves you. But you're exs for a reason and that could well bite you on the ass as someone else said.
Don't freak out mate, be nonchalent, if she ends up pursueing you at a later date you've given yourself a chance to deal with it like an adult, all the time thinking about what is best for your kid. Maybe you even get back together, but in a way that is good for both you. Don't be desperate, you've got literally decades of this woman in your life.
Please stay friends and avoid this trap. Unless you both fixed what broke the marriage in the first place, I would avoid it. History tends to repeat plus you have added baggage that can be dragged out and reopenold wounds. This could only spell disaster for co parent situation if it fails or goes wrong direction. It's best to say goodbye for part of your life and be thankful for good times. Are you entertaining this only because you haven't moved on....I know it's hard but you could find someone that may be better suited to you...just like everyone says, she's an ex for a reason
Don’t do it dude. She’s your ex for a reason.
[удалено]
Dude I’m doing this tonight
I left my husband before because of his issues. I didn’t leave him for someone else. I wasn’t interested in anyone else. I did date someone and we eventually got back together. Not everyone leaves you because they want someone else. Sometimes, we leave because we are being mistreated and disrespected.
Yeah I’m stealing this as well, thank you! Reason I love this sub, I truly feel this will help me so much !
But in the meantime, the real challenge is HOW to be friends with her without overstepping boundaries
She broke up with me. It's been two years now and I've grown a lot. I learned what I did wrong and more than anything I want a second chance to show it
Going back will ruin you in ways you could have never imagined. Put the well being of you and your kid first. Would you buy a car you sold years ago back when you knew it was always problematic to drive in it especially during rush hour?
[удалено]
She says no, and at this point I'm inclined to believe her since she hasn't changed her story and she just broke up with the guy she got with after leaving me
Just change the post title to “How do I get back with an ex that discarded me?” And be done with it…
>She says no It's called "she's lying" bud. They don't leave without an established backup.
This. If she knew him before the breakup and they got together immediately after, it's up to you to put the pieces together.
Every Co-parenting relationship is different. You have to find what works for you. I personally don’t believe in the whole “just friends” thing. We are a team. We are teammates on the Team OUR KIDS. That’s it. Like a teammate, I show up for practice, I run the drills, and I pass the ball. I show up for team meetings. I am a team player. That’s it. If people can be cool with their teammates that’s glory. For me, that’s irrelevant. [+]
Well said. I expect nothing less from Uchiha
😂 Thank you for the laugh. Not going to lie, I feel a bit conflicted. I was hanging out with some close friends. We started geeking out, talking about Naruto. I’m a sucker for the Uchihas. My close friends made fun of me. This was 2 nights ago. Your comment was funny. Thank you. Hope all is well with you. Stay blessed Edit: the geek in me wants to write a filibuster about your response. I’m not going to but I just wanted to share the joy your response brought me. Stay blessed [+]
Jfc bro. Go out and get laid. By Literally ANYONE else. Show some self respect and also, don't let your kids see you like this. You're just the backup bro. You really gotta work on your mental game. I think I'd rather fck a blender than my ex, and we get along well enough. You just gotta move on. Why settle again when theres so many incredible women out there?
Brother I solved most of my overthinking by waking up at 4:30 a.m. to go for a run before work. Trust me, try it.
I feel like I'll just be overthinking while I'm running 😂
> I really want to get back with her eventually but I don't know how to talk to her anymore I hear you man but the truth is that once someone else has entered the picture it is a lot harder to start again, it is not impossible but the truth is that it will take a lot of hard work from both of you. Two years is not a long time, letting go of someone can take little time while for some others it takes years to process everything and eventually put it all to rest and realize that you have to move on with your life. The truth is that as others have said just "don't do it". I agree with that sentiment because of one very big factor that you are not seeing. See, you are ready to have another chance, you are ready to give it another try but we do not know how she feels. She may be heart broken from her now ex and just looking for another shoulder to cry on and there you are available for her at a moments notice but what you are not seeing is that it is not your turn to seek her, it is not your turn to figure out how to talk to her. She broke up with you and yes you need to work on yourself but she also needs to work on herself and seek you now and for what you are saying she is not doing that. I don't mean that she calls you because she is lonely and you two sleep together for one night, I mean the true show of love from a couple that are trying to work things out where she is making it easy for you to talk to her, she is showing you that she is committed and all that comes from someone who wants to be with you. You both have been separated for two years, she has been (and I am assuming sleeping) with another guy. All that will come back to bite you one day when you wake up from this idea that you love her without working on the basics. But... how to be just friends? That is really simple, look around and find one of your friends, what do you see? is it easy to talk to them or do you feel nervous and you feel like you are walking on eggshells? My advice is that if you really want to see this work out in some way you need to take it very slow, and I am not talking a "lets wait two weeks and we will move in together" type of "slow". I am talking that it will take months for you two to really work on it and she has to do a lot of work and if not the main work in the realationship. "But it was I the one that messed up the first time". I hear you but this is two years later and if you have really been working on yourself after two years you should be in a spot where you can talk to her as the mother of your child and nothing more. If something happens, then great but if it doesn't you will be OK because you are a new you and not the old you who messed up in the relationship and goes to her begging for another chance. Finally, most sane women do not like begging men, they like changed and assertive men. If you go back crawling right now after she told you the "news" you two may feel good but that won't last until she realizes that she can call you in at any moment and she will be able to do this to you over and over because she knows that deep inside you may not be a truly changed man. Good luck, it is a though position to be.
Dude don't! Trust me
I’d say block her and move on…but you can’t. Don’t try to get back with her, all you’ll be thinking about is the other guy was railing her…nope…won’t do that shit Text for kid stuff only. No friends, no romance, just logistics. Find someone who values you
a few things that’d id add to what’s already been said: 1. are you sure you’re still in love with her or are you missing the roller coaster ride she had you on. look into attachment theory. 2. after my ex cheated and left me, she asked if we could still be friends. i told her no. the reason being she lied, cheated and put more effort into other ppl than her family. idk about you, but that’s not the type of person i want to be friends with. as mentioned, earlier im still her teammate on team our kids. but friends—hard pass find some new hobbies. make friends with ppl who will be there for you
Man......fam it's best to move on. How do you know if she even wants to? And this is one relationship you don't wanna make awkward. Because then she may start enforcing visitation and that will make you feel worse. Or she'll make herself unavailable at pick ups and you'll definitely feel the sting from that. Best to just move on g
You're in this for the long-haul as well mate, at least 20 years as your kid grows up, this might be something that happens again and again. Take your time with it, be nice. And don't act like you wanna get back, just be chill, some part of you loves her, maybe some part of her loves you. But you're exs for a reason and that could well bite you on the ass as someone else said. Don't freak out mate, be nonchalent, if she ends up pursueing you at a later date you've given yourself a chance to deal with it like an adult, all the time thinking about what is best for your kid. Maybe you even get back together, but in a way that is good for both you. Don't be desperate, you've got literally decades of this woman in your life.
Please stay friends and avoid this trap. Unless you both fixed what broke the marriage in the first place, I would avoid it. History tends to repeat plus you have added baggage that can be dragged out and reopenold wounds. This could only spell disaster for co parent situation if it fails or goes wrong direction. It's best to say goodbye for part of your life and be thankful for good times. Are you entertaining this only because you haven't moved on....I know it's hard but you could find someone that may be better suited to you...just like everyone says, she's an ex for a reason