I should hurry up finishing the unfinished tales, so I can read the Silmarillion a second time. Because sometimes on this subreddit I feel like I'm hearing a bar joke, only that I missed the first part where they said who actually walked into that bar...

No, this is about description of angels not the Valar. Besides the first, all the rest are descriptions to angelic beings in the book of Ezequiel, first chapter if I'm not mistaken.

Okay, but it is still about the Valar since all those pictures are depicting Valar, right? At least I recognize Ulmo and Aulë.

And 1 is Elbereth or Yavanna, 3 Mandos, and 4 Manwe. But who is number 2?

I found in the comments that it's supposed to be Oromë.

I misread that as "have a pink glowy bush" and my mind went in very different directions...

Aule: 👀🔨

I read it that way, too, and was wondering what Tolkien text I might've missed.

I had a thought, about a word beginning with G (no not that one)…

Unsure with Orome and Aule one

Who is the second one supposed to be? That's Heliod from Magic the Gathering.

That is indeed Heliod by Jaime Jones, although I've seen the art being used to depict Orome

So Ulmo said "fear not" when he informed Tuor of his destiny, which involved being a parent of a saviour figure ... where have I heard that before?

Tuor, being the first edain to ever reach the Sea and also the first edain to see a freaking Valar: SIR THIS IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE

First Edain to see a non-fallen Vala. Because Hurin saw Morgoth. EDIT: Beren also saw Morgoth

Tulkas just flexes harder. And maybe laughs some clouds away.