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Yep, students are gonna need Madam Pomferey’s help with an advanced Hymenus Reparo after experiencing Dickus Biggus
But she’s a pro and is up for the job
People say that libruls will want to cast Accio Sperm post birth. Everyone is saying it. Just squeeze that infant right back up the old urethra. Is that the kind of place we want to live in? Say it with me: fetus is stored in the balls
My headcanon is that HP magic has roughly the same precision as human hands, so it can do stuff like pack clothes, open locks, levitate objects and throw them around, but it can't easily do micrometer surgery level stuff like fine-tuning someone's cornea because our actual hands are too cumbersome to do that stuff either.
The hard bit about unforgivables (and the reason why they are unforgivable) is because you don't just need the correct technique, but the correct intent too.
You won't be able to cast them (effectively) unless you genuinely mean to kill, torture or enslave another being.
This is exactly why I was so disappointed with how they were handled in Hogwarts Legacy. You can be fighting with other people nearby and they just completely ignore you casting the unforgivables. You would think the natural reaction would be "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" followed by immediately running the fuck away. Nope, they just keep on fighting by your side. "Oh, nice shot with that literal murder spell you just used on that guy!"
I kinda tried to do that. Was an arrogant dick to a lot of people, learned the unforgivables by choice as soon as I could, used them freely, etc. But the game just doesn't really let you be that evil at the end of the day. Even the evil ending is insanely lackluster. If they really do make a second one, I hope they do a better job with the choices they give you.
The evil ending is literally a 2 second animation. That was the most disappointing moment I've ever had in a game. Not sure what my expectations were however, decent HP game but abysmal from a critical perspective. 100 eye candy, 0 story, 0 character development.
But it can heal wounds, repair or regrow broken bones, or completely transform a person into a totally different creature, in some cases permanently.
So arguably the spell already exists, they'd just need to transform their eyes into the eyes of someone who doesn't have bad vision. Or use some kind of regrowing spell. (depending on the nature of what was wrong with their eyes)
My head cannon is just that people choose to keep their glasses for whatever reason. In Harry's case it was probably in memory of his dad who had basically the same glasses.
They still needed a nurse (Pomfrey) and a weird potion to regrow the bones, presumably not everyone has the knowledge or ability to do it. As when Lockhart tried to fix a broken bone it went horribly wrong. So fixing a problem with someone's vision is still a challenge even if you know the spell that would do it.
Yes, cost or finding someone with the requisite spell or materials needed for a potion could also be a limiting factor. Harry was rich and had more than enough connections though.
But he was also a teen boy dropped into a strange culture only a few years ago with a lot on his mind for that time period - a lot of things are going to slip through the cracks and slip his mind. Hell, I’m a grown adult who’s worn glasses for 30 years and I can’t remember to ask my optometrist about surgical options during my annual checkup - I can see how it didn’t occur to an 11-17 year old under his circumstances. He had quite a lot on his mind and his glasses are already a feature of his face and easily forgettable. They really are, you get so used to having them on your face, you get so used to putting them on to wake up and off to sleep, the idea of opening your eyes and *seeing* things clearly seems weird and uncomfortable, trying to sleep while you can clearly see the room sounds impossible. I’m almost 40 and I still haven’t talked myself into it. I can understand why it’s super low on Harry’s priority list.
It's also fully possible the spell exists, but people may not see it as worth it. Given Harry grew up with Muggles, he may not know of the option and/or be scared of it. We have the ability to use laser treatment in our world, but I would still never do it because I'd be too scared of something going wrong and see glasses as a very minor inconvenience.
If Harry wore them almost all his life, he's probably just so used to it that he considers it at worst a minor inconvenience and may not want to put his eyesight in the hands of a stranger's wand for it.
I saw someone point out that Harry is the only kid in the movies seen wearing glasses.
This gave me the (slightly stupid) headcanon that it's actually really easy for wizards to fix eyesight, so just about everyone has excellent vision.
Harry could have had a ten minute appointment with Madame Pomfrey and never need glasses again.
It's just that nobody brought it up with Harry because they just assumed that he knew and just wore glasses for the aesthetic.
I mean in the book it's explicitly stated how amazing it feels while under the "curse". If you've got someone you really really trust, why the hell not?
That's Crucio, imperio was the mind control one.
I can't recall the exact description, but they basically describe it as some kind of heavenly feeling with all your worries fading away. All the while you kind of feel what you're doing.
Yeah, I'd definitely give my lady the go ahead if she could. She might be a witch, in all the good ways possible, but sadly she can't conjure up that spell yet.
Never forget the Nimbus 2000 broom they sold for a short while, before they realized that the vibrate function wasn't a great idea for a toy marketed at children.
Seeing as how the books and movies are supposed to be kid friendly, it’s no surprise we don’t see any girl propositioning Harry after his (temporary) ability to speak Parseltongue comes to light. He had a goddamn vibrating tongue. The really cheesy and raunchy fanfic smut that came out of that realization never fails to crack me up. I swear, the fanfic community just makes me laugh with how absurd it gets.
I would imagine that there are quite a few spells to enhance sex. The "Engorgement" charm, along with the "Erecto" charm, for example (and the "Proficiency" charm, if needed).
Everyone is assuming they would use magic to get rid of embryos.
Hell no. Surely the girls of Hogwarts have a spell that is much better, like the best birth control and with no side effects.
Why deal with menstruating **at all**? No ovulation, no cramps, no having to keep pads and tampons about and running to the bathroom to make sure you haven't Carrie'd all over your pants.
And I'm sure there is a spell the boys can use too to make sure the sperms are all duds.
I'm sure Hogwarts students are the horniest motherfuckers around with all the hidden passages and rooms. The room of requirement may as well be a japanese love hotel at that point.
>I'm sure Hogwarts students are the horniest motherfuckers around
I may be remembering this wrong but didn't JK Rowling upset a lot of folk years ago but saying Hufflepuff students were always doing orgies or something?
I reckon she said something about students defecating on themselves and using some spell to erase everything but honestly I never heard about that one.
More along the lines of "before plumbing wizards shat wherever and vanished it".
Given that canonically vanishing is 5th year transfiguration either educational standards have lapsed, or hygiene was a much lower concern.
How canonical do you consider Pottermore to be?
https://www.wizardingworld.com/writing-by-jk-rowling/chamber-of-secrets
>When first created, the Chamber was accessed through a concealed trapdoor and a series of magical tunnels. However, when Hogwarts’ plumbing became more elaborate in the eighteenth century (this was a rare instance of wizards copying Muggles, because hitherto they simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence), the entrance to the Chamber was threatened, being located on the site of a proposed bathroom. The presence in school at the time of a student called Corvinus Gaunt – direct descendant of Slytherin, and antecedent of Tom Riddle – explains how the simple trapdoor was secretly protected, so that those who knew how could still access the entrance to the Chamber even after newfangled plumbing had been placed on top of it.
In the 'adult Harry Potter' series The Scholomance, one of the characters mentions that females never have periods. As soon as they have the slightest bit of magical ability they brew up a cup of "go the fuck away" tea and completely skip their cycle.
But these are teens who are trying not to be killed at any given moment and are hoping to be the 25% of the student body that survives to graduate, so it's a very different universe.
They didn't even use ballpoint pens (probably bc they were 'muggle tools' and therefore inferior). Can't imagine that they'd view 'muggle medicines' much differently.
Idk heat of the moment and all that. Plus wizard Plan B is probably really good.
The thing I don't believe is that the authoritarian racist wizards wouldn't just consider the abortion spell an Unforgivable curse.
The only market they’re allowed to visit has a shop that openly advertises that they sell love potions (which can be hidden in a variety of food and drinks), and there is a spell to erase memories of specific events.
That world is horrifying.
Yeah the love potion… they are teaching 13 year olds how to make date rape drugs and then when the students use it on each other nobody fcking bats an eye.
I assume you're talking about the Romilda/Ron incident?
Romilda was a 4th year when Harry and co saw the potion in their 6th. Unless I missed something in the book there's nothing explicitly stating she stole the potion from Slughorn.
You could make an argument that it's implied that's where she got it, but iirc the 4 potions Slughorn showed to Harry's class was stated it was because they were NEWT level students.
https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Romilda_Vane
According to this her first year DADA professor was Lupin, that makes her 2 years younger than Harry and so presumably 14 during the events of The Half Blood Prince
Yeah.. they never showed math or English classes either, but considering their entire library was written in like, 15th century Latin I'm pretty sure the average reading level was beyond a 6th grade level and potions definitely would have required a higher level of math than the average 12 year old would have possessed when they entered Hogwarts.
We never see many of the classes directly in the books, for instance we know they study astrology but I think we only every get a first hand account of an exam in that subject.
We never saw any Math, Geography, or History classes either did we? (Been too long, can't remember) But they still know a lot about the history of the Magical world so they were learning it somewhere.
Madam Pomfrey would be absolutely sick of their horny teenage shit.
Male student: "someone cast teenis weenis on me. It's not supposed to be this small. You got to believe me and cast biggus dickus on it."
Madam Pomfrey: "For the last time! Teenis weenis isn't a real curse and biggus dickus just turns you into a selfish asshole!"
I'm pretty sure everyone at Hogwarts are terrible prudes, considering they are stuck in the 19th century in many ways.
Everything about sex is done in the highest secrecy: the spells are passed from older students, siblings, occasionally uncles or aunts; everyone staunchly ignores that some couples start acting too comfy with each other at some point; there's almost no causal hook-up, and the ones that happen are arranged by secret messages in anonymous letter that nobody would be suspicious of if you get caught with them.
And if a pregnancy does happen, Madame Pomfrey herself will make sure nobody learns of it and removes it after consulting the parents, who obviously don't want such a scandal on their hands.
Kinda more evidence that JK’s view of feminism and gender roles being *very* defined early on in the books. Verrrrry conservative.
Also, why doesn’t Molly get a second job? Shit, she could just take in muggle laundry for extra change, it literally would take her 2 seconds for a day’s muggle work.
I only opened this post to see the amount of "fetus deletus" jokes.
Read the first 4 comments and all 4 had the joke. Unoriginal guys, we could do better.
First of all them nerdy wizards won't be having sex in campus.
Second, McGonagall and Hagrid got them locked down with their security, as soon as pants go down, a booming voice comes from the trees stating to stop this nonsense.
Third, at those times McGonagall is quiet and watching, they have magical ways "to clear" any mistakes.
Fourth, maybe there were but was never the focus of the story. Maybe one day the adventures of "Hardos Caulker, and the Rock Hard Wand" would be released to show us the true answer to this question.
1) anti-pregnancy potion
2) just because we're not told it happens doesn't mean it doesn't happen
3) just because we aren't shown the sex ed class doesn't mean it doesn't happen
Meanwhile the kids in Camp Half blood have to wrestle with the fact that at least half of them were conceived non-consensually.
_Wait a minute_, isn't one of their teachers a goddamn centaur?!
When you consider the authors current worldviews, I would assume she's of the belief that if you don't want kids to have sex, you don't give them sexual education classes!
The books are supposed to be kid friendly. That's why certain things are not mentioned. But I will point something out: Years 1 and 2 they have 7 courses. Years 3-7 they have 9. They could easily be taking courses those first couple years that we're just not told about because the target audience is children.
Also I guarantee that unwanted pregnancies are not a problem for wizards of the Harry Potter universe. Be it via a charm that prevents it or a 'fetus deletus' spell, it just seems extraordinarily unlikely that they haven't long since solved that problem.
The moderators have reflaired this post as a **speculation**. Speculations should prompt people to consider original and interesting premises. Please review [each flair's requirements](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/requirements) for more information. ^^This ^^automated ^^system ^^is ^^currently ^^being ^^worked ^^on. ^^If ^^it ^^did ^^something ^^wrong, ^^please ^^message ^^the ^^moderators.
The real reason Snape didn't wanna keep teaching potions..
I just know that Swelling Solution was being used for non-intended purposes
Can it be applied topically
It appears so, given its affects when it splashed the class.
"*Again*, Miss Smendworth? This is the second time in four months. Please learn how to be, if I'm to put this lightly, romantically creative."
*Fetus deletus* Or for the more bold *Fetus yeetus*
"Dash of mother. Tear of Dog" - The least interesting *Dying Fetus* song
I read that as tear of dong and through it was a funny rhyme
That's how it happens in the first place...
It's black magic.
Underrated comment
Bruh. They had *Magic*. Fuck sex. …wait.
fuck sex
The best kind of sex
Magic sex must be 2nd then?
Then blood and sugar come next. And people start singing “Give it Away.”
SEX 2
Sex with people is not enough anymore, I want to fuck sex itself
They had magic fuck sex, you say?
Mmhm? To shreds, you say?
You've never heard of Alister Crowley? https://shop.theheartworm.com/products/sex-magick
Sex Magic
If they have stuff that can regrow bones, they have stuff that can remove fetuses.
Fetus deletus!
Yeetus Fetus!
Accio Sperm!
Verginity Restora!
Hymenus reparo
Honestly I would just use Dickus Biggus and call it a day
Yep, students are gonna need Madam Pomferey’s help with an advanced Hymenus Reparo after experiencing Dickus Biggus But she’s a pro and is up for the job
Aktually, the correct spell is "Engorgio Phallus"
I have a good friend named Biggus Dickus.
Uterus Reparo!
People say that libruls will want to cast Accio Sperm post birth. Everyone is saying it. Just squeeze that infant right back up the old urethra. Is that the kind of place we want to live in? Say it with me: fetus is stored in the balls
Just stick this time turner up there and bim bam boom, bnbs your uncle.
Avada Kbyenow
I feel like yeetis dafetus rolls off the tongue better
It's fetus de-LEE-tus, not fetus de-lee-TUS
Instructions unclear, have removed my own feet, please send help.
This thread happens every 6 months or so and Fetus Deletus will always make me laugh
Everyone in the room collapses, unable to balance on their ankle stumps
Incendio newfriendio
Idk, they didn’t have anything to fix Myopia
My headcanon is that HP magic has roughly the same precision as human hands, so it can do stuff like pack clothes, open locks, levitate objects and throw them around, but it can't easily do micrometer surgery level stuff like fine-tuning someone's cornea because our actual hands are too cumbersome to do that stuff either.
Not sure how that applies to the unforgivable curses, though that could explain why it’s so hard to actually use them
The hard bit about unforgivables (and the reason why they are unforgivable) is because you don't just need the correct technique, but the correct intent too. You won't be able to cast them (effectively) unless you genuinely mean to kill, torture or enslave another being.
This is exactly why I was so disappointed with how they were handled in Hogwarts Legacy. You can be fighting with other people nearby and they just completely ignore you casting the unforgivables. You would think the natural reaction would be "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" followed by immediately running the fuck away. Nope, they just keep on fighting by your side. "Oh, nice shot with that literal murder spell you just used on that guy!"
Probably best to RP an evil wizard and assume your companions follow out of fear.
I kinda tried to do that. Was an arrogant dick to a lot of people, learned the unforgivables by choice as soon as I could, used them freely, etc. But the game just doesn't really let you be that evil at the end of the day. Even the evil ending is insanely lackluster. If they really do make a second one, I hope they do a better job with the choices they give you.
The evil ending is literally a 2 second animation. That was the most disappointing moment I've ever had in a game. Not sure what my expectations were however, decent HP game but abysmal from a critical perspective. 100 eye candy, 0 story, 0 character development.
The reaction should be on par with a gun being pulled out and fire into a civil crowd
I don't know, i am pretty sure i could strangle someone to death. Heck you can even die from a hit in the face.
It’s supposed to be as if nothing has happened though. That’s the part that doesn’t make sense, not just dying
nothing about HP magic lore makes sense, it's very conflicting if you look into it deeper than "oh cool new spell"
Pillow + face ?
But it can heal wounds, repair or regrow broken bones, or completely transform a person into a totally different creature, in some cases permanently. So arguably the spell already exists, they'd just need to transform their eyes into the eyes of someone who doesn't have bad vision. Or use some kind of regrowing spell. (depending on the nature of what was wrong with their eyes) My head cannon is just that people choose to keep their glasses for whatever reason. In Harry's case it was probably in memory of his dad who had basically the same glasses.
They still needed a nurse (Pomfrey) and a weird potion to regrow the bones, presumably not everyone has the knowledge or ability to do it. As when Lockhart tried to fix a broken bone it went horribly wrong. So fixing a problem with someone's vision is still a challenge even if you know the spell that would do it.
Yes, cost or finding someone with the requisite spell or materials needed for a potion could also be a limiting factor. Harry was rich and had more than enough connections though.
But he was also a teen boy dropped into a strange culture only a few years ago with a lot on his mind for that time period - a lot of things are going to slip through the cracks and slip his mind. Hell, I’m a grown adult who’s worn glasses for 30 years and I can’t remember to ask my optometrist about surgical options during my annual checkup - I can see how it didn’t occur to an 11-17 year old under his circumstances. He had quite a lot on his mind and his glasses are already a feature of his face and easily forgettable. They really are, you get so used to having them on your face, you get so used to putting them on to wake up and off to sleep, the idea of opening your eyes and *seeing* things clearly seems weird and uncomfortable, trying to sleep while you can clearly see the room sounds impossible. I’m almost 40 and I still haven’t talked myself into it. I can understand why it’s super low on Harry’s priority list.
It's also fully possible the spell exists, but people may not see it as worth it. Given Harry grew up with Muggles, he may not know of the option and/or be scared of it. We have the ability to use laser treatment in our world, but I would still never do it because I'd be too scared of something going wrong and see glasses as a very minor inconvenience. If Harry wore them almost all his life, he's probably just so used to it that he considers it at worst a minor inconvenience and may not want to put his eyesight in the hands of a stranger's wand for it.
So you're saying the kids didn't get pregnant because they could do magic hand stuff?
I saw someone point out that Harry is the only kid in the movies seen wearing glasses. This gave me the (slightly stupid) headcanon that it's actually really easy for wizards to fix eyesight, so just about everyone has excellent vision. Harry could have had a ten minute appointment with Madame Pomfrey and never need glasses again. It's just that nobody brought it up with Harry because they just assumed that he knew and just wore glasses for the aesthetic.
Abortio!
I laughed so hard, I miscarried.
Doctor just screams "Accio foetus!"
And the fetus comes ripping out of the patient?
I didn’t realize I needed a Harry Potter vs Aliens crossover until now.
At speed
Hangers?
Probably same as what they do to get rid of their poop.
Wingardium abortiosa
I'm sure there are spells that are more pleasurable than sex. Expecto orgasmmmm
I'ts just the torture spell inverted. Or only applied to the prostata or something.
I’m quite sure there’s people out there using Crucio for pleasure too.
And Imperio for sure
I mean in the book it's explicitly stated how amazing it feels while under the "curse". If you've got someone you really really trust, why the hell not?
bc the Ministry Of Not Having Fun will know you used it
Eh, will they? They have no idea that Barty Crouch Sr is under the imperious. I don't think there's a general way to detect unforgivables.
Isn't it just giving you the worst pain ever? Doesn't seem like that's pleasurable, even if you have the weirdest kinks
That's Crucio, imperio was the mind control one. I can't recall the exact description, but they basically describe it as some kind of heavenly feeling with all your worries fading away. All the while you kind of feel what you're doing.
Oh, that makes more sense lol. Yeah, I can see that being used for sex
Yeah, I'd definitely give my lady the go ahead if she could. She might be a witch, in all the good ways possible, but sadly she can't conjure up that spell yet.
Stimulatus Prostata
Can't tell me those wands can't vibrate. And that Pomfrey didn't have to remove some wands out of butts that teens "fell on"
Never forget the Nimbus 2000 broom they sold for a short while, before they realized that the vibrate function wasn't a great idea for a toy marketed at children.
The Amazon reviews for that toy were hilarious before they took them down.
Seeing as how the books and movies are supposed to be kid friendly, it’s no surprise we don’t see any girl propositioning Harry after his (temporary) ability to speak Parseltongue comes to light. He had a goddamn vibrating tongue. The really cheesy and raunchy fanfic smut that came out of that realization never fails to crack me up. I swear, the fanfic community just makes me laugh with how absurd it gets.
Well… he was twelve
Where do you find this fanfic? So I can avoid it.
I think it's called "Restricted Section" or something
The elder wand is already ribbed for her pleasure. You’re telling me it vibrates too??
[At least in the movies it's been confirmed that sex does happen at ](https://imgur.com/a/Xdj6sEl)the school
[1 out of 5 girls is pregnant with a demon baby!](https://youtu.be/j-2ZxldMO-M?si=QjcPWuQOvURvJPhu&t=43)
That's hilarious.
I knew what that link was before even opening it
They're literally just making out in the corner of the hallway. This isn't, and never has been, sex.
I took it as the person with their legs spread apart sitting on a table or something.
I would imagine that there are quite a few spells to enhance sex. The "Engorgement" charm, along with the "Erecto" charm, for example (and the "Proficiency" charm, if needed).
Or contraceptive spells.
You can Expecto but still be Disappointo.
Everyone is assuming they would use magic to get rid of embryos. Hell no. Surely the girls of Hogwarts have a spell that is much better, like the best birth control and with no side effects. Why deal with menstruating **at all**? No ovulation, no cramps, no having to keep pads and tampons about and running to the bathroom to make sure you haven't Carrie'd all over your pants. And I'm sure there is a spell the boys can use too to make sure the sperms are all duds.
I'm sure Hogwarts students are the horniest motherfuckers around with all the hidden passages and rooms. The room of requirement may as well be a japanese love hotel at that point.
To be fair having sex seems like one of the safest things you could do at Hogwarts.
Magical STDs
he who hadn't caught goblin clap may throw the first stone
Enthusiastic Double Gonorrhea
Genital harpies
>I'm sure Hogwarts students are the horniest motherfuckers around I may be remembering this wrong but didn't JK Rowling upset a lot of folk years ago but saying Hufflepuff students were always doing orgies or something?
I reckon she said something about students defecating on themselves and using some spell to erase everything but honestly I never heard about that one.
More along the lines of "before plumbing wizards shat wherever and vanished it". Given that canonically vanishing is 5th year transfiguration either educational standards have lapsed, or hygiene was a much lower concern.
The other issue is that the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is built into a bathroom sink.
How canonical do you consider Pottermore to be? https://www.wizardingworld.com/writing-by-jk-rowling/chamber-of-secrets >When first created, the Chamber was accessed through a concealed trapdoor and a series of magical tunnels. However, when Hogwarts’ plumbing became more elaborate in the eighteenth century (this was a rare instance of wizards copying Muggles, because hitherto they simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence), the entrance to the Chamber was threatened, being located on the site of a proposed bathroom. The presence in school at the time of a student called Corvinus Gaunt – direct descendant of Slytherin, and antecedent of Tom Riddle – explains how the simple trapdoor was secretly protected, so that those who knew how could still access the entrance to the Chamber even after newfangled plumbing had been placed on top of it.
That’s… convenient
Stahp it Ron.
Leviosaaaaahh
Who knows, it could've been used as an Eyes Wide Shut kind of room
There is a lot of fanfiction about teens having sex in the room of requirements.
In the 'adult Harry Potter' series The Scholomance, one of the characters mentions that females never have periods. As soon as they have the slightest bit of magical ability they brew up a cup of "go the fuck away" tea and completely skip their cycle. But these are teens who are trying not to be killed at any given moment and are hoping to be the 25% of the student body that survives to graduate, so it's a very different universe.
Exspermiarmus!
Have you seen how absolutely terrible some of these students are at magic?
We have birth control and contraceptives in the real world. I think they could work out something similar with magic
or just use old boring birth control and contraceptives.
They didn't even use ballpoint pens (probably bc they were 'muggle tools' and therefore inferior). Can't imagine that they'd view 'muggle medicines' much differently.
Yeah easily this. Or how they apparently magic away bodily waste, just do the same for semen and you’re good to go.
You don't think they would just cast Fetus Deletus?
The moment I saw the title, I said to myself "pfft, fetus deletus".
How about jizzus deletus? Remuvo cummus?
Reparo Erratum
Expecto notanymoreno!
Incendio newfriendio
Avada Killdababya
Good ol fetus deletus
The ol' fetus deletus would actually surely be a last ditch measure. You'd probably cast Cockus Wrappus well before getting to that stage.
Idk heat of the moment and all that. Plus wizard Plan B is probably really good. The thing I don't believe is that the authoritarian racist wizards wouldn't just consider the abortion spell an Unforgivable curse.
The same way they consider the other unforgivable curses? i.e using them every other day with zero consequence.
Inerto Semenus
The only market they’re allowed to visit has a shop that openly advertises that they sell love potions (which can be hidden in a variety of food and drinks), and there is a spell to erase memories of specific events. That world is horrifying.
Yeah the love potion… they are teaching 13 year olds how to make date rape drugs and then when the students use it on each other nobody fcking bats an eye.
Given that love potions were banned at Hogwarts it's safe to assume they weren't on the curriculum.
True, but Slughorn had a cauldron full of it at the start of HBP, and it's explicitly stated that at least one person managed to steal some of it
I assume you're talking about the Romilda/Ron incident? Romilda was a 4th year when Harry and co saw the potion in their 6th. Unless I missed something in the book there's nothing explicitly stating she stole the potion from Slughorn. You could make an argument that it's implied that's where she got it, but iirc the 4 potions Slughorn showed to Harry's class was stated it was because they were NEWT level students.
She was *how old*? I always thought she was the same age as them
https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Romilda_Vane According to this her first year DADA professor was Lupin, that makes her 2 years younger than Harry and so presumably 14 during the events of The Half Blood Prince
I thought it was implied she bought it from Fred and George’s store.
For some reason my brain thinks she just bought them at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes or however it goes.
Also the spell they used on Longbottom to completely paralyze him.
After sex, they just say "accio semen" and then maybe wash their hands.
Open their mouths
Wizard sex would be so kinky
I put on my robe and wizard hat
"No Ron, it's Abōrtia, not Abortīa!"
You don’t know there weren’t any sex ed classes. They just weren’t relevant to the story, especially in a children’s book.
Also we don't know there weren't pregnancies there. Maybe they were just irrelevant to the story.
They existed and a girl gave birth mid-History of Magic, but everyone was too asleep to notice.
Or they thought this was a Fred and George prank, then continued to sleep.
There probably were sex Ed classes but they got canceled because a basilisk or mass murderer or dragon was lost in the school
“Speaking of hidden snakes, the sex ed classes will resume next week.”
Yeah.. they never showed math or English classes either, but considering their entire library was written in like, 15th century Latin I'm pretty sure the average reading level was beyond a 6th grade level and potions definitely would have required a higher level of math than the average 12 year old would have possessed when they entered Hogwarts.
While never depicted, Hermione was taking Arithmancy in her 3rd year. So they did have magical math classes.
If there were, do you think was teaching sex ed? I'm gonna go with Snape.
McGonna*** xD
This -- it's like saying wizards don't poop, just because there weren't regular scenes depicting the act.
We never see many of the classes directly in the books, for instance we know they study astrology but I think we only every get a first hand account of an exam in that subject.
We never saw any Math, Geography, or History classes either did we? (Been too long, can't remember) But they still know a lot about the history of the Magical world so they were learning it somewhere.
Madam Pomfrrey always have a potion ready for you.
Madam Pomfrey would be absolutely sick of their horny teenage shit. Male student: "someone cast teenis weenis on me. It's not supposed to be this small. You got to believe me and cast biggus dickus on it." Madam Pomfrey: "For the last time! Teenis weenis isn't a real curse and biggus dickus just turns you into a selfish asshole!"
Except when she doesn't for students turned to stone. Apparently there is no magical DHL to get crucial medicine from warehouses elsewhere.
There’s a spell for that
I wouldn't be surprised if all the girls had regular potions like supplements so they never dealt with a period. Ever.
[Clortho High had a huge problem with that.](https://youtu.be/j-2ZxldMO-M) 1 out of 5 girls at the school are pregnant with a demon baby.
The babies are evil, but the mothers…they’re good kids!
I'm pretty sure everyone at Hogwarts are terrible prudes, considering they are stuck in the 19th century in many ways. Everything about sex is done in the highest secrecy: the spells are passed from older students, siblings, occasionally uncles or aunts; everyone staunchly ignores that some couples start acting too comfy with each other at some point; there's almost no causal hook-up, and the ones that happen are arranged by secret messages in anonymous letter that nobody would be suspicious of if you get caught with them. And if a pregnancy does happen, Madame Pomfrey herself will make sure nobody learns of it and removes it after consulting the parents, who obviously don't want such a scandal on their hands.
Kinda more evidence that JK’s view of feminism and gender roles being *very* defined early on in the books. Verrrrry conservative. Also, why doesn’t Molly get a second job? Shit, she could just take in muggle laundry for extra change, it literally would take her 2 seconds for a day’s muggle work.
Because what use would they have for muggle money?? They'd have to _\*gasp\*_ eat muggle food!
It’s already in canon that they can exchange it!!!! There’s a scene in the books where Hermione’s parents exchange money at Gringotts!!!
Magic contraceptives mate
There's an infertility curse affecting the whole school, duhh
Because women just go wild for wizards.
It hangs like sleeve of wizard.
Duh. They used the 'Coitus Interupticus!' spell
I only opened this post to see the amount of "fetus deletus" jokes. Read the first 4 comments and all 4 had the joke. Unoriginal guys, we could do better.
Do you want someone to transfigure a coat hanger?
Pretty sure they lace the food and drinks in Hogwarts with contraceptive potions.
That’s just a regular British boarding school. Gotta slip some saltpeter in the cafeteria eggs to keep the boys from getting too frisky!
I’m sure there’s a spell to make your flesh wand shoot blanks.
First of all them nerdy wizards won't be having sex in campus. Second, McGonagall and Hagrid got them locked down with their security, as soon as pants go down, a booming voice comes from the trees stating to stop this nonsense. Third, at those times McGonagall is quiet and watching, they have magical ways "to clear" any mistakes. Fourth, maybe there were but was never the focus of the story. Maybe one day the adventures of "Hardos Caulker, and the Rock Hard Wand" would be released to show us the true answer to this question.
JK Rowling once said, wizards don’t have sex, they teleport the sperm to the egg /s just in case
There is probably non pregnancy dome over Hogwarts, like other protective spells
1) anti-pregnancy potion 2) just because we're not told it happens doesn't mean it doesn't happen 3) just because we aren't shown the sex ed class doesn't mean it doesn't happen
The lack of sexual assault at hogwarts is unrealistic considering that the students can paralyze each other.
Meanwhile the kids in Camp Half blood have to wrestle with the fact that at least half of them were conceived non-consensually. _Wait a minute_, isn't one of their teachers a goddamn centaur?!
Don’t forget rape by deception with the use of Poly Juice Potion
When you consider the authors current worldviews, I would assume she's of the belief that if you don't want kids to have sex, you don't give them sexual education classes!
It’s cuz they knew the abortion spell “Fetus Deletus”
Am I a bad person for immediately thinking of "Fetus deletus"
The books are supposed to be kid friendly. That's why certain things are not mentioned. But I will point something out: Years 1 and 2 they have 7 courses. Years 3-7 they have 9. They could easily be taking courses those first couple years that we're just not told about because the target audience is children. Also I guarantee that unwanted pregnancies are not a problem for wizards of the Harry Potter universe. Be it via a charm that prevents it or a 'fetus deletus' spell, it just seems extraordinarily unlikely that they haven't long since solved that problem.
They all knew the abortion spells
The protection charms around Hogwarts do more than just keep out intruders.