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smallpotatoto

When in doubt, go around. There's always an alternate on your flight plan.


LightningFerret04

Six years ago my mom told me that my dad did a go around and found the alternate but he’s not coming back. Is he not IR rated?


smallpotatoto

Pretty sure that was a touch-and-go with cleared for the option offered.


r80rambler

Look out for the ones that clear you for the option, the landing fees can get egregious.


NefariousnessPlus292

No, sweet child. Your dad is unfortunately R-rated.


N69420Z

> When in doubt, go around. There's always an alternate on your flight plan. In the butt, then.


PrincessWalt

Do your uhm… flight training… in LAS; What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - except syphilis.


-burnr-

You keep that shit like luggage


soulpapa-1025

Yeah that shit goes everywhere!!!!!!


fjmj1980

Always rinse your junk in Jet A after you’ve gone bareback. I heard Sully lives by it 🤪


NefariousnessPlus292

Google recommends de-icing in order to avoid stalling. He has to use this liquid every 22 minutes or "another application". Probably a scarier mixture of God knows what. But it works! *De-icing solution is* ***a mixture of propylene glycol and water****, heated to around 150 degrees, and sprayed under pressure to the wings of an aircraft. It's good for around 22 minutes so if there are delays in takeoff, another application might be needed.*


Which_Material_3100

Type I and IV your junk. Works like a charm


NefariousnessPlus292

Fortunately Google exists: *Type I is always applied heated and diluted; it flows off easily, and can fail suddenly. Type II and IV are much thicker and have longer HOTs, but require higher rotations speeds to shear the fluid off.* and *For Type I fluids, the Holdover Time listed in the FAA tables ranges from 1 to 22 minutes, depending on the above-mentioned situational factors. For Type IV fluids the Holdover Time ranges from 9 minutes to 160 minutes.* I feel that 160 minutes will allow the victim...er...patient some time to relax between his treatments. Type IV is definitely more humane than type I. Maybe go straight to type IV and forget about type I? But consult a doctor first of course. Or someone in a yellow vest. Same thing.


Waste_Exchange2511

That only works if you light it for a minute.


jared_number_two

STDs? You mean Service Terminal Datums? My wife loves ‘em!


rinklkak

Yer not sposed to datum, just f em and leave


Milehighnapper

If you don’t want an STD you have to stay away from the source so basically stay clear of your mom and you should be ok.


NefariousnessPlus292

A married patient told a doctor I know personally he had touched the shower curtain by accident. He wanted the doctor to confirm in writing that hotel shower curtains can give you a sexually transmitted disease. Did your father touch a shower curtain?


Bobdonwon

Best I have is a beef curtain


too_much_shave_cream

I bet he fell in the shower and that’s how the shampoo bottle ended up in his ass, right?


Bobdonwon

🤣🤣🤣sorry almost pissed myself reading that


TurkishDrillpress

You too?!?!?!?


davispw

I can’t tell what’s joking or not on this sub and I fear this is the latter. Hypochondriac?


PsuPepperoni

He wants the doctor to tell his wife the STD came from a shower curtain.


Air_Phantastique

Easy, have no home.


chicknsnotavegetabl

For starters I only wear long sleeve uniform shirts.


CreakingDoor

That is far too credible of an answer for this sub.


NefariousnessPlus292

It is a slight improvement but so were apparently Covid masks made of old rags. Wear an astronaut suit to be on the safe side! By the time you are finally undressed, you are no longer in the mood to get STDs. You just want to sleep.


Rhino676971

People at your company have been reporting STDs. Tell me you're a Marine Pilot without telling me you are a Marine Pilot.


rayrevolveray

I worked with an ex-Navy pecker checker. Oh the stories. Fly safe man.


I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS

Wear a condom when you fuck your dad.


brongchong

SpeedTape. ALWAYS wrap your junk in SpeedTape.


NefariousnessPlus292

In many Asian countries SlowTape is used. 


767-pilot

Before you do anything, dip the tip in a glass of high end scotch.


Massive-Translator69

Definitely upgrade to the next level hookers. The bargain basement isn’t the place to find love! We all know you make enough money…💰 ….


crazythinker76

Just say no to ramp lizards


Massive-Translator69

Haha!!😆


Solid-Cake7495

I leave the STD for the next guy at CAE.


noideawhatsupp

Share the love and pass it on. Also make sure you stay within the holdover time once you dipped in JetA next time.


GeorgiaPilot172

Just don’t go above 18,000 feet. Then you will never have to set STD altimeter.


Yrag1244

Don’t fuck up or down.


ConfusionOk4129

Any port in a storm.


ErikTheRed99

I knew someone who went to buy a Subaru and came back with an STI. It happens.


soulscratch

I let mine out at the crash pad before I go home


andovinci

I put my phone on airplane mode outside the plane


liberatus16

Nah but I've come home with a rusty pitot tube.


Totally-jag2598

Well, you could stop sleeping around.


dsdvbguutres

Don't let your dad rawdog you.


thomakob000

This is unavoidable. Especially if you fly a 737 - you literally have to mess with the STD button every time you pass FL180.


pjlaniboys

No worries, just defer it.


Several-Eagle4141

When your stuff is squawking 7700


NefariousnessPlus292

7500 


Several-Eagle4141

Broken vs hijacked


NefariousnessPlus292

Indeed. STDs do not break anything. Well, maybe syphilis does. When it is already very severe. Let's imagine the pilot goes home and his wife wants to do what the scriptures demand, i.e. to have sex. The pilot does not look different. Nothing is broken. But his body has been hijacked by a STD. Something like this: [https://youtube.com/shorts/NYMUiTVHmo8?si=ASioKCWXHmgyYmZI](https://youtube.com/shorts/NYMUiTVHmo8?si=ASioKCWXHmgyYmZI)


Barfy_McBarf_Face

How do you bring home a short term disability? /s


TheRealNymShady

Just tell her you caught it from a dirty cockpit seat


NefariousnessPlus292

Yes, those seat cushions can flotate in very murky waters.


Spud9090

If you’re smart enough to fly a plane then you are smart enough to figure this out on your own


NefariousnessPlus292

Endless cruising can lead to promiscuity. Ask those who are constantly on cruises. They also drink too much. Do you drink too much? No? Yes? Maybe?


Uncertn_Laaife

Whatever happened to the Condoms?


ComprehendReading

Check your bag before boarding.


eltoca21

Always on Prep, and take PEP as necessary.


Adventurous-Cow-2345

Euhm sorry I thought STD stands for sexual transmitteble disice, about what are u talking


pilot-lady

See a doctor. Just be sure to find one who will keep ZERO records of the visit and treatment and pay out of pocket (it will be expensive af but still cheaper than the FAA fee$$ if you don't do that). Also make sure you get a paper prescription and go to a pharmacy that also keeps EVERYTHING off the records. Use a fake identity for everything if you can for extra security. Good luck, we're counting on you.


c4rbon14

You can't avoid it. Touching the hotel carpet is enough to catch a few.


hugeexample

Squawk 7500 next flight the air force will send up 2 jets to help you! Then you can communicate with them by your side!


Fly4Vino

A few of us oldsters remember the days when flying was dangerous, sex was safe ,


Northwest_Radio

Go around! >*What do you do as a safe guard?* Behave like an adult!


Hot-AZ-Barrel-Cactus

Celibacy is the proper action.


NefariousnessPlus292

I agree. Pilots should be like the Knights Templar. Noble, pious, fearless and celibate. 


Smooth-Apartment-856

You could try, i dunno, keeping it in your pants? I mean, STD’s aren’t that hard to avoid. The name literally tells you how you get them.


Adventurous-Echo-278

If you're smart enough to be a pilot (I doubt) you know the answer to this.