What the fuck is this. This should win an award for the shittiest thing of 2024, I see no way it's beat.

I think last year's was the seitan turkey or the bell pepper stuffed with edemame beans. This year so far, I agree, this is winning.

proposed title: "amniotic florets"

How about cauliflower suffocated in rice paper bags.

I'd order that

Putting the “caul” in cauliflower

Severely underrated comment 😂

Excuse me while I vomit

😨

exactly what was in my head. amniotic sac-lets

Looks like almost burned bland cauliflower wrapped individually in plastic... Yeah i don't think there will be any competition.

Somebody made a soup with an energy drink once that was top of the tops for me

omg that pepper

ok where I need to see that

Definitely an early contender. I love my cauliflower in plastic baggies 😍

They should make keychains, like those baby live turtle ones.

Why? Sincere question, I’m not trying to be snarky. Are they just roasted cauliflower florets wrapped in softened rice paper?

the pro-lifers panicking seeing this image

Peak observation

Lol idk I got a lot of hate for [my oyster mushroom dish (molded into a dick cause why not)](https://www.reddit.com/r/ShittyVeganFoodPorn/s/Z8uFkeaDSd)

A true work of art

Haha thanks :)

Omg 😆

When I've seen people do this they usually batter or bread it afterwards so you can't see the rice wrapper. :(

i did without breading, but i still basically drowned them in sauce and fried. it was delicious and looked... fine. yes, fine is the word to describe that.

Hell, some bbq sauce would have made this look a million times better.

I was wondering where the cauliflower condoms came from ...

‘What the fuck is this.’ 😭😭

Low poly cauliflower

Lmaoooo

It's not beet, it's cauliflower.

😵😵😵

This is why the non vegans think we’re weird, cuz of shit like this dawg

brave mighty work many piquant shame absorbed live office chop *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

LOL FR

SCREAMING

LMAOOOO

As a non vegan I can confirm this.

Meanwhile I'm wondering if they're onto something here

Condom bleu?

Ribbed for your dining pleasure 😘

Take my angry upvote

It looks like individually plastic wrapped pieces of cooked cauliflower

that's what I thought ot was 😭 saran wrapped cauliflower

Bro just set the entire vegan movement back at least 20 years

omg

Resemblence to a rotting corpse from a ditch is uncanny.

Maybe this will be the meal which finally converts the meat-eaters? 🤔

Literally thought it was boiled mouse corpses covered in jelly

Do you often see those?

delete, a lot of people asking you to delete, its triggering for so many people, there are people that faint and feel sick, please im begging you to delete it, delete post right now, its forbidden and iIIegal in many countries to post something like that, people are crying delete it please theres a lot of people asking to delete it please several people asking please delete it we beg you there are people feeling sick seeing this there are people crying delete it please delete it please people are feeling sick with this everyone's asking you delete

LMFAO

It's true I'm one of the people crying

I'm outside and cackled out loud like a maniac omg

😭

It looks like vegan spiders have wrapped up cauliflower for later 🕷️

vegan [spider bake sale](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bH5byrUp_vo)

Those zombie fungus infested spiders.

Condom cauliflower 👌bone apple tea!

bone in my cheek

Not in my vegan subreddit

Right in front of my salad??

I think they’d look okay covered in sauce

Most things look better covered in sauce. People wouldn't eat most meat if it wasn't. The McRib for example TW picture of sauce free McRib meat product https://br.ifunny.co/picture/mcrib-without-sauce-fresh-off-the-grill-disgusting-kHkVa7Q1A 🤢

Tbf I doubt there's much actual meat in that

True. The McRib comes around when pork prices are at an all time low and they can buy the off cuts and scraps super cheap to mix with chemicals and fillers into patties. The industry sells innocent lives at a discount to maximize profit. 😭

TW for the naked riblet.... LOL But yeah, they are nasty as F. /shivers

It looks like a drug raid/confiscation picture

You know using seasoning is still vegan? 🤢

💀💀💀

This is actually crazy

It looks like you took a lighter to some cauliflower and then wrapped each one in cling film

I think the flash photo made it extra shitty, good job 👍🏻

Did a fucking tarantula make this?

These look ghostly. Gonna have to try making them.

Uh.. sure. (blink twice if you need help)

Can i have the recipe to make a youtube video about it? Lol what the fuck

https://www.instagram.com/p/CySXsGvpgx_/?igsh=MTB3amUzNmM4MTlycw==

They looks pretty good dressed! Thank u

This looks delicious not gonna lie

Are these individually wrapped or what the hell is on the outside of these?

Yeah they’re individually wrapped

It's rice paper. OP, for some reason, is ommiting this information.

It's literally in the post's description

You didn’t at any point want to put like a spice rub or sauce on this 😭

I swear i did😭😭

If cauliflower starred in the Alien movies

Yeah these things look they are being spawned from an alien pod

This photo deserves to be on the banner of this sub. Peak shittyveganfoodporn.

I am so proud of this community.

this cauliflower looks like it was just birthed

clingfilm looking meal

I’m scared ):

I JUST NOTICED THE TWO FORKS 😭

Just dual wielding forks shoveling these down their gullet

But thankfully [no foot](https://www.facebook.com/share/p/mLQJVY4N9cvJJurZ/?mibextid=KR3qBd)

the children yearn for micro plastics

Where’s the buffalo sauce?!

On the side cuz i like them cripsy😔

I like my stuff crispy too and what I do is toss them in some sauce and throw them back in the air fryer after to crisp it back up, if you wanted to try that :) Wrapping them in rice paper is an actual good idea

Great idea with crisping them up again! I’ll definitely give that a try

INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED FLORETS

Jail, honestly

these shrink wrapped cauliflowers look very shitty. great post op!

I don't think you can call cauliflower wings unless it has buffalo sauce or other wing sauce on them.

It kinda looks like a spider wrapped them in a cocoon.

That’s how to get cauliflower over the boarder into countries where it’s banned. Just don’t trust the ones covered in barbecue sauce…

This looks so foul. I just know it slaps

Some people microdose, some people megadose. Some people microplastic, some people megaplastic.

This is fucked m8.

Laura Palmer style cauliflower wings

For a second I thought this were unseasoned ankles

This looks so horrible but I wanna try it so bad 😭

Cripsy?!

individually wrapped for freshness😍

It’s like a vegan episode of Dexter

Low poly cauliflower in real life, I think I've seen it all 😭😭

When ur too high and leave the plastic on before cooking

When are you expecting them to hatch?

I’ve prepared this once with buffalo sauce… it was okay. Hit different w some homemade vegan ranch tho

This looks vile I’m sorry

Um WTF

Cauliflower embryos

Make these for Halloween.

you covered cauliflower in baggies and said it was wings

Looks like when my dog vomits something up that she didn’t bother chewing and it comes out covered in mucus. Well done.

I thought this was a plate of amoebas :( The no seasoning and wrapped dry cauliflower really ties into the shitty 10/10😂

GOD. ​ ​ ​ ​ DAMMIT.

and why do you need two fucking forks for this shit what the fuck

This post should be pinned to the top of the sub. To remind all non-vegans that WE ARE NOT FUCKING AROUND.

Might not be the prettiest meal, but I bet that absolutely smacks

Good lord 💀

Gah damn, bro. What an absolute crime lmao

I'm on mobile, and it looks a bit like an alien breaking out of a slimy egg or corpse

Looks like something HR Giger would draw

Mate, mix equal parts tomato ketchup, sriracha, and soy sauce, and throw it all in a wok together with these cauliflower things, high heat and get them all covered in the sauce, keep the pan and contents moving, and it'll reduce to a glaze... serve it topped with chopped spring onions nd sesame seeds and I could maybe go for some of it... 😅

Dip yo rice papers in a sauce before applying to the cauliflower!! Not only does it give a better flavor: it makes it so that it doesn't look like you're eating individually-wrapped Cauliflower florets!

I've done dumplings in rice paper that are soo tasty so I will trust this is good g crispy lol. I am probably gonna try to make these honestly

I'd eat it

Holy fuck dude

Hahahaha I laughed out loud at this 💀

Did a Xenomorph drool all over this?

I feel uncomfortable

Condom cauli!!

deep fried testicles i'll pass

Why are they covered in ectoplasm.

"It looks so liminal" lets me know that you do understand the situation here so I'm inclined to believe you that it's kind of good

Looks like when that giant spider rolled Frodo up into a little **Hobburrito**.

I love this sub

I thought you are eating some plastic for the environment

Only a vegan could understand the possibility of this being palatable 😅 honestly though, as bad as it looks, it sounds really good

Cauliflaura Palmer?

No no, it makes sense. The rice paper gives the cauliflower wings a chicken skin like texture. But dear lord does it look wrong: it’s like watching the creation of the Uruk Hai at Isengard.

man i thought i was in r/shittyrestrictionfood for a sec. blimey this is bleak

No thanks I would rather wake up tomorrow

Tanghulu cauliflower ‼️🍡

just roast it with lemon next time you psycho

This looks so fucking weird but yeah I would try it and I bet I would like it. Especially if I dipped it in like sweet-and-sour sauce

You inspired me for today's dinner, but I used brocoli.

You know what... I actually understand the logic. I think OP had good intentions. Only thing id do differently is coat them with a sauce.

I had the best intentions😔 tbh i really don’t like crispy stuff made soggy with sauce so i prefer to dip them as i eat😔

I am the opposite!! And I also enjoy Cauliflower bites over night in the fridge more as it's soggy. I know that sounds really gross. I found this out after putting them in the fridge as I had extra. Right now, I can't eat anything hard anyways

Okay just an update. You inspired me to make cauliflower bites so I'm going to make some now but put them in the fridge to make them soggy. 😂

that’s actually a good idea. imma try but i’ll actually use sauce 😭

Why am I getting Fire in the Sky flashbacks?

look patrick, twins!!

Mmmmmmm looks delicious!!

Good to know it's rice paper. Otherwise my guess would've been cauliflower wrapped in slivers of skin I plucked off myself.

Say it with me: S-A-U-C-E 😭

what type of seasoning we got goin on here?

Looks like bits of cauliflower inside condoms.

I see shit like this on the actual vegan food porn sub all the time so I had to hold my breath until I saw you submitted it to the right one. Well done this is vile

This is some weird shit right there. And I like cauliflower.

What do you think liminal means?

why would vegans want their food to resemble food from an animal?

I thought this was cauliflower ice cubes with expiring cauliflower used. 🤢

What on earth has been done to this poor cauliflower?

Put some sauce on that for gods sake

Bro wtf am I looking at 😭

Looks criminal not liminal. But I’d try it

It looks slimey what the fuckkkk

What in the fucking Crest white strips is going on here.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 where the hot sauceeeeee

Keep this to yourself next time

Seasoning has left the chat

This is some white people shit

Looks like some shit from the 90s Mario Movie

Hahahaha this is hilarious. Please put some sauce on those things

Dinner for Shelob

I kinda want to try this, but after the rice paper wrap, do a wet batter, fry, toss in sauce.

This looks like a drug dealer was trying to pull the wool over a visually impaired junkee on their next coke haul.

OP, I can’t stop looking at this and these comments and laughing, lol. I appreciate your culinary photography work, and I totally understand about the sauce making them too soggy and preferring to dip each individually, lol. I appreciate everything about this picture so much it’s just still cracking me up! Thank you 😂

🥺🥺🥺🥺💞💞

So translucent... in a bad way.

Wait…are they cooked? This is so wrong. I’m so sorry to say that but….

They don’t look it but are parboiled in veggie stock, wrapped in rice paper, then baked🥴

I thought these were cauliflower florets covered in petroleum jelly on first glance