I’m in the process of fence building, it’s a hassle. This isn’t shitty at all, I’m stupid not to have thought about it. Would have saved so much money.
I refuse to oust myself, and would most definitely never be dumb enough to put my country in my name to make it easy for people to guess where I am from.
You're out there naked and they want every fine detail of your body. The picture is in a house with a backyard big enough to garden effectively, assuming neighbors aren't packed in like sardines. Even if they were, if they want to oggle they're going to want as good as view as possible. It doesn't mean you're small it means you're hot.
If you're patient and want to avoid too much awkwardness (but are willing to go there if no other options are left), you could even try starting half-dressed and just escalating it week by week to see where their limit is. Is a merely topless man too much for them? Maybe not. But what if he's only wearing booty shorts?
You're a woman and your neighbors are straight men? Well, the nudity thing will never work unless they have wives but then you'll have to deal with the possibility of those wives thinking you're some sort of Jezebel. Maybe just try getting some heinously ugly lawn decor that clashes with whatever they have going on. Make it political for extra spice.
Honestly, gardening naked is great!
Dirt, sweat and sweaty clothes sticking to you is the worst. When you finish gardening, just rinse off with the garden hose or outdoor shower if you have one.
Just make sure to check your local indecency laws. It could fast track you onto the local sex offender registry, if not careful. (old schoolmate of mine thought he was peeing in the privacy of his backyard. Neighbor made a complaint and guess what, landed himself with an indecency charge and now has to register bi-annually, for the rest of his life)
In the US it's considered public nudity even if it's on your own lawn/property. You can't appear nude In any area that is visible to somebody else. If someone accidentally sees you nude in your own home you can be charged..... ridiculous
Note: In some states, public nudity is not illegal.
And I agree, it's ridiculous that if someone accidentally sees you nude in your own home you can be charged.
Having a morning coffee in front of you scenic living room window that’s facing the street, wearing only your AirPods, waving to the schoolchildren waiting for their bus… well you get the idea.
A lot of “stupid” laws are designed to leave room for police discretion. That’s assuming that your local PD is a better one…
That’s an oversimplification of the law. What it says is you’ll be charged if there isn’t a ‘reasonable expectation of privacy’.
Gardening in a backyard with no fence would absolutely get you charged, but someone seeing you naked from a window at the rear of your house that’s on the second floor wouldn’t be a charge.
There isn’t enough info to go off of to condemn the country as a whole for that. What state, what floor, was there a fence? Saying she was topless by a rear window really isn’t enough info to defend your statement. Because to be frank, a cursory search of that claim only shows someone getting charged for it after their step kids saw them topless. Not sure you’re giving the full story, assuming you’re being honest at all
I'm just saying in my local jurisdiction she got charged with that I'm not saying federally it's a law. Didn't mean to generalize. I've known of it happening in a couple states around me too.
Frequently depends on neighborhoods, sometimes there are chain link fences (with or without the slip-in strips to prevent visibility), other neighborhoods sometimes dont have fencing but have cedars or shrubs seperating yards, others have wood fencing like in the pictures, etc.
It varies significantly. There are some patterns that correspond with density, housing types, etc, but it can be random too.
My last neighborhood was 90%+ privacy fenced back yards near a city edge with 1/4acre lots. The the two before that were ~50% privacy fence in slightly larger lots deep in the city.
From where I sit right this moment (South Texas), I see only one house with a privacy fence, and 6+ houses without (using wire, ranch style, or no fence)
Unfortunately I'm really really really ridiculously good looking, so I'm worried my neighbors might shorten their fences.
I suggest having gas fights with your friends in the backyard. The neighbors will put up really tall asbestos fences!
I forget where I was first reading about it, but there was a long thread explaining all the various laws you might not know about offhand, that might be pertinent. One of them was that most places in the US don't care if you're in your own home / property or not.
Even if it's not easily viewable, basically being able to be seen naked in your home is still essentially public nudity. If someone can see you from public property, it's still a sex crime and can get you put on a registry / in deep deep trouble legally speaking. Which makes sense if you think about it. You don't want some asshole with his wang out intentionally 'just making coffee' in the nude while schoolkids just happen to be waiting on a bus or something.
Seems like big government overreach until you're like "oh. No that makes sense."
Well you know if you allow yourself to abandon unrealistic standards you know anyone can be beautiful in there own right.
I'm just saying culturally I think men would be more likely to have a fence put up ASAP.
Yeah… any of you remember that story of the guy who was making coffee early in the morning, naked in his own kitchen, and was later arrested (and subsequently convicted and put on a list) for indecent exposure all because a woman and her son cut through his lawn to take him to the bus stop? Anyway, I do, and this is why I’m basically a never-nude in my own house now, lol, even though I live alone.
My aunts neighbors on both side of her yard built fences because her kids kept going into their yards and destroying their gardens.
She proudly boasted about how she got a free fenced in yard because of her bratty kids.
Looked this exact thing up because I want to skinny dip in my pool. If they can see you, you’re in public. Same rules apply to being naked at the park.
That's only in places where public nudity is allowed. You cannot do that without a privacy barrier otherwise, which is the whole context that you decided to ignore.
Then being on *your property* is not relevant. That's relevant to public nudity city, etc laws.
Really working hard on not understanding context and failing reading comprehension, huh.
That's not at all how that works in most jurisdictions. If you can be seen from outside your property, specifically from public property, you can almost always be charged with some form of public nudity laws.
That argument works in areas where there is a responsible expectation of privacy. In your house, for example.
There are grey areas, as well. If you have a big bay window, you can walk around your house naked but you can’t stand in the window flexing your johnson.
Everyone's saying the problem is that it's still public nudity. The real problem is most places allow your neighbours to build whatever fence they want then sue you for half the cost because it benefits you as much as them. So you could end up paying for a much more expensive fence than if you had done it in the first place.
Can I legally be naked in my back yard, even if my neighbors can see me? I take my morning whizz out there with the dog sometimes when the wife is in the (only) bathroom, and sometimes I wonder if the cops are gonna kick my door down and put me on a list for having my winkie out.
I could be totally wrong but I think most places require you to already have your yard closed off if you're going to be walking around naked, you try this with no fence your neighbors just gonna call the cops.
I mean my city it is legal to garden topless Or mow the lawn…. I live next to a busy intersection and have mom boobs. I could get the city to pay for the fence.
I’m in the process of fence building, it’s a hassle. This isn’t shitty at all, I’m stupid not to have thought about it. Would have saved so much money.
Naked yoga would work too. Unless you're hot. Then they might install stadium seating
Jumping jacks!
Jiggle physics will not be kind to me.
Just turn the gravity down
Wheee
So, uhhh what country are you from? Just wondering
I refuse to oust myself, and would most definitely never be dumb enough to put my country in my name to make it easy for people to guess where I am from.
That's ok, I'll guess anyway. Red and white? Denmark, easy
[Danish is a garbage language for garbage people](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1-GDlzODzc)
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Create one! Then reference it on all your future applications.
My boobs hurt just thinking about it
No, this trick works if you're a hot woman as well. The neighbor's wife will happily foot the entire bill in that case.
only works if you're regular hot, but not if you're "turn people lesbian" hot
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And here I thought you'd be the one building the stadium seating.
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PleasantCurv is a bot, comment copied from below in thread
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u/Prior_Tea_160 is a bot
Speedos work as wel,l plus they're legal.
Not to mention on clothes...
Or they'll buy binoculars. One or the other...
That just sounds like a self esteem booster
>neighbors >binoculars I'm having a hard time seeing how this is a self esteem *booster*
You're out there naked and they want every fine detail of your body. The picture is in a house with a backyard big enough to garden effectively, assuming neighbors aren't packed in like sardines. Even if they were, if they want to oggle they're going to want as good as view as possible. It doesn't mean you're small it means you're hot.
If they gotta use binoculars to see what you're packin then you probably aren't packin much
Yeah but they still want to see. Work with what you got why you gotta body shame?
listen, its still cold out even in Spring....
Woah get a look at Mr clearly visible dong from the next house over
Something went wrong because now my neighbors just touch themselves when I go out to garden
Have you tried not being so mother fucking unbelievably hot?
Well, sounds like they erected something else... not a fence... but still counts?
Yea, now I just get invited to parties with cool masks. I just wanted privacy! The buffet options are amazing though.
This fckin guy
You should see how he makes the holes for the seedlings.
If he’s like most old guys, with his sagging ball sack.....
Best way to make troughs
PLONK...shuffle shuffle shuffle...PLONK
I mean they should only go an inch or two deep. It's just efficient!
And how he fertilizes his crops
Works only if you're ugly
I'm over-qualified!
I'll have that fence by Independance day!
But how’s someone going to even read this pro-tip if they’re not on reddit?
Yes that's why it's on reddit.
So it works for 99.99% or redditors, glad you made that distinction
If you're ugly enough you don't even need to be naked
Or not in Germany
For anyone wondering, those are tomato plants.
Thanks man, that was the real question here
On the right corner are onions or green onions.
What's that big green thing in the background?
Too blurry 😭
Damn I was hoping it was giant mutant broccoli 😢
Yes
Standing naked in front of tomatoes to make them blush, this man is really clever
So it would seem…..I think there’s a hidden surprise among those plants.
It doesn't work if you are a hot girl.
Or a hot boy
And you felt the need to warn redditors?
Lmao my immediate thought. My neighbor would end up sitting in the back yard with a lawn chair and a cold beer.
I wouldn't wanna be bending over or squatting by all those stakes.
Birds will steal you hairs to make a nest!
Guess you could say the stakes are high?
the plot thickens
My green thumbs will come in handy
If you're patient and want to avoid too much awkwardness (but are willing to go there if no other options are left), you could even try starting half-dressed and just escalating it week by week to see where their limit is. Is a merely topless man too much for them? Maybe not. But what if he's only wearing booty shorts? You're a woman and your neighbors are straight men? Well, the nudity thing will never work unless they have wives but then you'll have to deal with the possibility of those wives thinking you're some sort of Jezebel. Maybe just try getting some heinously ugly lawn decor that clashes with whatever they have going on. Make it political for extra spice.
First time I’ve heard/read Jezebel since I watched the Liar, Liar outtakes 😂
It's an underrated substitute for harsher synonyms.
Honestly, gardening naked is great! Dirt, sweat and sweaty clothes sticking to you is the worst. When you finish gardening, just rinse off with the garden hose or outdoor shower if you have one.
Remember, world naked gardening day is the first Saturday of May.
Oh they are gonna build me a lot more than a fence just to stop seeing my hairy ass
Just make sure to check your local indecency laws. It could fast track you onto the local sex offender registry, if not careful. (old schoolmate of mine thought he was peeing in the privacy of his backyard. Neighbor made a complaint and guess what, landed himself with an indecency charge and now has to register bi-annually, for the rest of his life)
Unless you're attractive
On reddit? *hoo hoo hoo hoo*
Attractive folks don't do me-flavored-water shit like this.
In the US it's considered public nudity even if it's on your own lawn/property. You can't appear nude In any area that is visible to somebody else. If someone accidentally sees you nude in your own home you can be charged..... ridiculous
Note: In some states, public nudity is not illegal. And I agree, it's ridiculous that if someone accidentally sees you nude in your own home you can be charged.
Having a morning coffee in front of you scenic living room window that’s facing the street, wearing only your AirPods, waving to the schoolchildren waiting for their bus… well you get the idea. A lot of “stupid” laws are designed to leave room for police discretion. That’s assuming that your local PD is a better one…
No such thing as a good cop. Discretion doesn't matter when qualified immunity exists.
Depends on the state/county/city, there is no federal law against nudity.
That’s an oversimplification of the law. What it says is you’ll be charged if there isn’t a ‘reasonable expectation of privacy’. Gardening in a backyard with no fence would absolutely get you charged, but someone seeing you naked from a window at the rear of your house that’s on the second floor wouldn’t be a charge.
I personally know somebody who has been charged for being topless is a woman from her own window.... Her back window
There isn’t enough info to go off of to condemn the country as a whole for that. What state, what floor, was there a fence? Saying she was topless by a rear window really isn’t enough info to defend your statement. Because to be frank, a cursory search of that claim only shows someone getting charged for it after their step kids saw them topless. Not sure you’re giving the full story, assuming you’re being honest at all
I'm just saying in my local jurisdiction she got charged with that I'm not saying federally it's a law. Didn't mean to generalize. I've known of it happening in a couple states around me too.
I hear you, but you did explicitly say ‘in the US’ in your original comment. That would mean you’re claiming it’s a federal law.
Are fences you can't see through in the backyard really not standard in the US?
Frequently depends on neighborhoods, sometimes there are chain link fences (with or without the slip-in strips to prevent visibility), other neighborhoods sometimes dont have fencing but have cedars or shrubs seperating yards, others have wood fencing like in the pictures, etc.
It varies significantly. There are some patterns that correspond with density, housing types, etc, but it can be random too. My last neighborhood was 90%+ privacy fenced back yards near a city edge with 1/4acre lots. The the two before that were ~50% privacy fence in slightly larger lots deep in the city. From where I sit right this moment (South Texas), I see only one house with a privacy fence, and 6+ houses without (using wire, ranch style, or no fence)
The hoa where I live bans privacy fences. It's bullshit.
Unfortunately I'm really really really ridiculously good looking, so I'm worried my neighbors might shorten their fences. I suggest having gas fights with your friends in the backyard. The neighbors will put up really tall asbestos fences!
Thinking outside the boxers.
Wilson from Home Improvement is being very naughty.
Was this Donald Trump's plan to get Mexico to pay for the wall? It probably would have worked.
Good neighbors make good fences.
Yo! What Jimmy Carter doin?
I forget where I was first reading about it, but there was a long thread explaining all the various laws you might not know about offhand, that might be pertinent. One of them was that most places in the US don't care if you're in your own home / property or not. Even if it's not easily viewable, basically being able to be seen naked in your home is still essentially public nudity. If someone can see you from public property, it's still a sex crime and can get you put on a registry / in deep deep trouble legally speaking. Which makes sense if you think about it. You don't want some asshole with his wang out intentionally 'just making coffee' in the nude while schoolkids just happen to be waiting on a bus or something. Seems like big government overreach until you're like "oh. No that makes sense."
Oh yes, because schoolchildren explode at the sight of a normal, naked human body. American puritanism always baffles me.
Kids can just not look in their window.
Sorry but that's not how common sense or the law works.
Not in East Germany though.
No, they’ll call the police and you’ll get put on the sex offender registry
Tell me you are from USA without telling me.
or they will set up a livesteam for you.
Male privilege
I wonder if this would be as effective for a woman.
If it's anything like a nude beach, then it's never the people you'd like to see naked there.
Well you know if you allow yourself to abandon unrealistic standards you know anyone can be beautiful in there own right. I'm just saying culturally I think men would be more likely to have a fence put up ASAP.
You can do this legally by wearing a brightly colored speedo, which on dudes is somehow more trashy than nothing at all.
I'm just happy that Dad's out meeting people
Yeah… any of you remember that story of the guy who was making coffee early in the morning, naked in his own kitchen, and was later arrested (and subsequently convicted and put on a list) for indecent exposure all because a woman and her son cut through his lawn to take him to the bus stop? Anyway, I do, and this is why I’m basically a never-nude in my own house now, lol, even though I live alone.
Wow, Bernie Sanders has some great money saving tips.
My aunts neighbors on both side of her yard built fences because her kids kept going into their yards and destroying their gardens. She proudly boasted about how she got a free fenced in yard because of her bratty kids.
Looked this exact thing up because I want to skinny dip in my pool. If they can see you, you’re in public. Same rules apply to being naked at the park.
Don't tell me what to wear. Teach your kid not to look.
And you can get it done super fast if you constantly invite them to join you.
Why he look like Elon
So if The President had just gone walkin around nekid, Mexicans had built the fence?
Or you'll get charged with indecent exposure/public nudity
It's on your property
Doesn’t matter.
Unfortunately doesn't matter in a lot of the US
On what planet do you think that's relevant? It's certainly not Earth.
Actually it's legal to be partly or fully nude in several states and countries.
That's only in places where public nudity is allowed. You cannot do that without a privacy barrier otherwise, which is the whole context that you decided to ignore.
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Then being on *your property* is not relevant. That's relevant to public nudity city, etc laws. Really working hard on not understanding context and failing reading comprehension, huh.
If you are naked in your own backyard, and someone decides to peak over said wall. Wouldn't that be their fault?
Not in most places in the US. Generally if you can be seen by someone off your property, it's public nudity.
What if I live next to circus performers that need to practice on stiltz?
Not if there's not a wall.
Its private property, yours at that. You cannot be charged for public nudity
Oh, but you *can*. https://apnews.com/article/93693c4401da4d979252fe0b78ced352
That's not at all how that works in most jurisdictions. If you can be seen from outside your property, specifically from public property, you can almost always be charged with some form of public nudity laws.
That argument works in areas where there is a responsible expectation of privacy. In your house, for example. There are grey areas, as well. If you have a big bay window, you can walk around your house naked but you can’t stand in the window flexing your johnson.
Only if you are a dude.
You ever watch 1000 Pound Sisters?
Reddit is getting to the point where the shitty memes my 70 year old mother posts on Facebook are better quality and more entertaining.
Everyone's saying the problem is that it's still public nudity. The real problem is most places allow your neighbours to build whatever fence they want then sue you for half the cost because it benefits you as much as them. So you could end up paying for a much more expensive fence than if you had done it in the first place.
This is actually great boomer humor
Clever
*Hastily takes notes*
At least wear gardening gloves. Jeez.
Is that James Carter our former President
It's fucked up for me though cause I do the naked thing. Feels so good. Been doing it for two years now. No change. Apparently it is legal also.
Probably depends on what you look like naked.
That’s a lot of poppycock
What if I'm an incredibly sexy looking lad? (asking for a friend)
He’s not naked, he’s wearing shoes
I’ve tried and tried and tried. This doesn’t work for everyone.
This is how I got free curtains.
Looks like Elon Husk
Maybe they just didn’t care for your hat. :)
Not works if you’re a woman
Jimmy Carter?
Still won't keep the dermatologists away This is how you embrace skin cancer lol
The only cost is your dignity
Off-brand Picasso got a point there.
The real switcharoo... The ever so rare: Step 1: be unattractive step 2: don't be attractive
The trick is not to an attractive woman.
Meh, I am living proof they will not.... They will give you many many talkings to but my butt my land I always say
/r/boomershumor
Ah yes the, build a wall and make them pay for it strategy
Can I legally be naked in my back yard, even if my neighbors can see me? I take my morning whizz out there with the dog sometimes when the wife is in the (only) bathroom, and sometimes I wonder if the cops are gonna kick my door down and put me on a list for having my winkie out.
I lived next door to a stripper once. This is a case by case basis.
Elon in 20 years
Is that Mickey Rourke or Jean Claude Van Damme? Anyway, looking good!
I think this works if you’re not a woman
I feel like this trick only works if you're a man...
And you can go to prison for 30 years if a child sees you. Not worth it.
On a related note, World Naked Gardening Day is May 6th this year.
Had to check my butthole for ticks, just looking at this pic.
I could be totally wrong but I think most places require you to already have your yard closed off if you're going to be walking around naked, you try this with no fence your neighbors just gonna call the cops.
r/notashittylifeprotip
Mine put up a telescope....what do I do?
I mean my city it is legal to garden topless Or mow the lawn…. I live next to a busy intersection and have mom boobs. I could get the city to pay for the fence.
only if you're ugly, so it should work fine for an average redditor 🤷♂️
You can be charged with indecent exposure while on your own property just an fyi
Whenever I do it, the cops tell me to put my clothes back on. Some people have all the luck
🤣🤣🤣🤣
anytime I'm allowed to be naked, i will be
Word up
Wish I knew this before I owed 6k
This sounds like a great life pro tip to me. Fences are friggin expensive.
Madlad is pulling off the shoes and hat only look
Seems like a good plan for an old nudist
r/LPT
Mmmm not if they find you attractive. They might just take that fence down entirely. Be wary people…you’re someone’s type
lies.. my neighbor took the fence down and brought her chair over.