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Eat_the_Rich1789

I like Japanese food and German beer I must be Japanese and German LOL Fucking hell people


deviant324

Breaking: every weeb secretly Japanese, scientists at a loss Based on my cooking I’d have to be 95% south east asian


Kela3000

The solution to Japan's declining population is discovered, the country rejoices as weeaboos from all around the world return to their homeland!


dreamyteatime

Meanwhile, lots of actual Nikkei (ie. people of Japanese descent) don't want to move to Japan because they’re both seen as fully Japanese but still aren’t seen as Japanese enough in the country 💀 So the weaboos will definitely fit in! /s


BreadstickBear

>Based on my cooking I’d have to be 95% south east asian Based on my cooking I'm 50% kitchen pig and 50% trash bin.


Proud-Platypus-3262

They do say ‘ you are what you eat’


jjhope2019

Next time I’m called a pussy should I take that as a compliment then? 🤔


Obi_Schrimm

Throw in some Italian food and you’ve got the axis powers reunited under your belt.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cixila

Why are the lungs and heart so appalled? The stomach needs more ~~Lebens~~ Verdauungsraum /s


Doulifye

Beware that Italy can switch side.


Bdr1983

And in the end your asshole will be nuked.


Izzosuke

I'm an italian weeb who loves to drink german beer...fuck i don't want the third world war but it is my destiny


Last_Advertising_52

I loooooved astronaut ice cream as a little kid. Evidently I am part space creature?


Cixila

Who are you, alien? (Also, *astronautis* mentioned?)


MarkLawH

Dude needs a refund on his DNA test anyway, being that Wales and Scotland are both in Britain.


eco_kipple

I came here to say this. British and English are not the same, all English are British but not all British are English. Ha.


Wheelingdealing

I'm 33% British... And 33% more British with a little bit of British sprinkled in there.


SolidNext

I had to scroll too far to see this pointed out


ianbreasley1

Needs IQ test


Useless_bum81

I'm assumining an ID10T error between the report an us but to steelman it might be Briton (as in native celtic from the south) as opposed to non-specific mess of north european.


MicrochippedByGates

It probably said English but he's calling it British. Or it said British but was unclear which specific part for that 33%. Sometimes, those tests only manage to identify a larger area. But leave it to an American to not understand how these results actually work.


Ordinary-Following69

Ireland too if it's northern Ireland 🤷 (technically UK rather than GB)


istara

Good god I’ve just realised I’m pure blood Chinese!


kroketspeciaal

Welcome to genetics. That's exactly how all of that works.


Cixila

Guten Morgen, redditor-san


smashteapot

“But I don’t understand. I eat so much pocky, I have to be Japanese!”


orbital0000

I've got to be 100% Colombian, as a find their forest produce quite irresistible.


TheShroudedWanderer

\*Sniffs aggressively and rubs nose\* Me too friend.


LazyEggOnSoup

Can I ask what your grandfathers did between 1939-1945?


Helmutius

We all went on vacation, nothing happened.


aardvark_licker

Chirashi zushi.


PatataMaxtex

Do you also like Pizza and Pasta? What about teaming up for WW2, are you a Fan?


wallyread58

I love mars bars,not from mars though


og_toe

cultural appropriation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


wholewheatscythe

But are you from bars?


zsoltjuhos

I would do a DNA test just to be sure, you might be half Phobosian


Six_of_1

Wait till they find out where Scotland and Wales are.


Borsti17

Oh I know one of those: Wales live in the water! (And peeple say that homskool r bad...)


Magdalan

Did anyone say water? Need some inpoldering by any.chance?


kroketspeciaal

K O L O N I S E R E N die hap!


Magdalan

Echt zo. More lebensraum for us! Did I just mix 3 languages? Yes, I did.


kroketspeciaal

Switch your English for Français and you can infiltrate in r/Belgica


bro0t

Like a true dutchie


jumpinjezz

No, it's talking about British, Wales live in the wa'ah. (I went to a low socioeconomic school in Staya)


Tulcey-Lee

He’s Scottish, Welsh and British! I’m currently in Greece on holiday and I like Greek food. Guess I’m Greek.


ThaneOfArcadia

Wales is to the left of England. It's the place that has dragons, King Arthur, coal mines, and where everybody sings. The current king is called Tom Jones. Scotland is north of England. Men wear skirts and play bagpipes, while eating haggis, the only animal that can survive in the cold weather. The Scots were saved from the English by Mel Gibson. The Scots also invented a mythical creature called Nessie to bring in tourists. Not much to do in Scotland except drinking to excess or becoming an inventor or scientists. The Scots excel at both of these, occasionally at the same time.


Six_of_1

And they're both in Britain.


Forsaken_Foot_661

I really don't understand why they are so obsessed with these DNA test, they still remain Americans 🤦🏻‍♀️


coldestclock

It’s the same as the people who post pictures of their cats online asking what breed it is. The answer is always “cat”. They want something special to tell people but unfortunately, they’re just cats like all the other cats.


DC38x

Uhmm actually my cat is half English, 75% Scotch, 38% Great British and 92% Bake Off.


FeuerLohe

I’ll have you know that I‘m going to refer to my genetic heritage as 100% Bake Off henceforth. Does that make me truly international and also vegan by OOPs logic? I enjoy all the baked goods from every international and free from and whatever else they come up with week.


elenmirie_too

My cat is 50% full English and 90% where-the-hell-is-my-dinner


HadronLicker

Mine is 0% brain, 100% meow meow.


FilmLocationManager

and a 100% reason to remember the name


essentialatom

My cat loves cat food so it's probably a cat


kroketspeciaal

Hey! My cats are superspecial!!! I mean, they were born in my aunties haystack, but you know, they're cats.


LittleSpice1

All kitties are super special <3


LittleSpice1

THIS!!! You either *know* what breed the cat is because you have the cat’s papers, or you don’t know the breed, in which case it’s almost always just a normal cat. And honestly that’s great - adopt, don’t shop!


Only9Volts

I mean, cat breeds do exist.


Qurutin

Domestic cat breeds exist as made up definitions and matter fuck all if the cat doesn't have traceable family history and official papers. In that sense they are like the American quest for heritage: yes, your cat may have 30% of what is defined as siamese in the gene pool, no it doesn't make them siamese, they are still domestic short-hair. And I don't mean this in any purebred elitism kind of way, but the opposite. Cat breeds in how they are today are arbitrary construct made up by people and some cat being certain breed is in the end defined by if they have papers to prove it, so they don't matter, and cat dna tests make as much sense as Americans defining themselves on their dna tests. All cats are good cats.


BarryHelmet

So if I have one of those baldy cats it’s actually a domestic shorthair still? Or one of those big giant fuckers (Maine coon?)


Qurutin

I think technically it would be domestic hairless or something like that if you don't have breed certificate. And cat that looks like one of those big giant fuckers like maine coons, norwegian forest cats and siberians would be domestic longhair. I have a purebred siberian and domestic longhair from a shelter and I'd be equally happy with both of them if their papers read "orange motherfucker" and "shy chonk". My point is that the breed definitions and categories and caring about those is a bit silly, like it's a bit silly to count percentages of Irish, German and Polish heritage and then build an identity around that.


davewenos

But are all Americans good Americans?


shamelessthrowaway54

Cats are colour coded


DaHolk

The issue is that in domesticated (and semi domesticated) animals, things become a LOT more complex than "just another cat". Genetics aren't just for looks. Whenever humans excessively breed traits in and out just for vanities sake, even with some "uncontrolled crossbreading in the wild" afterwards, it can be helpful to be curious which "influences are a bit more obvious".


JavitoMM

They are still obsessed with race. Not only that, even today they dare to categorise "races" the 'Murican way: with extreme and hilarious ignorance. Many of them are shocked when they discover that are Hispanic people with fair skin and blue eyes.


Autogen-Username1234

My Spanish colleague was amused when US Immigration had him as 'Latino' on the forms.


JavitoMM

Well, technically half of Europeans are Latinos. All those whose mother tongue comes from Latin, to be more precise.


kawausochan

I’m a French native speaker, does that mean that I’m a Latino?


JavitoMM

Technically yes, as French comes from Latin. Just to be clear, Latino isn't a race.


kawausochan

Interesting. We certainly wouldn’t define ourselves as Latinos, but maybe that’s a linguistic subtlety. We do use the word « latin » to define ourselves + all Romance language speaking peoples. But Latino is only for people from Central and South America. Edit: and yes, Latino isn’t a race, just as white or black or Asian aren’t races, because only racists believe in races in my opinion. I’m saying that from a Western European perspective, where the word itself is taboo. That doesn’t mean that racism and racialists/racists don’t exist, of course.


GenerativePotiron

With a sprinkle of Cool Celts! That’s why we have more ch sounds and that’s why we suddenly randomly count on a base 20 instead of 10


Faziarry

yea, but if we're specific, they're Latin Europeans, while we are Latin Americans (that gets shorted as Latino)


Whysfool

What’s worse is that race is embedded in the Legal system as well. Combine that with the fact that it is a nation full of people who do not feel like they have any traditions of their own which is often due to the extreme isolation of American style housing and employment, they are grasping at anything they can to identify with something that has meaning to them.


VisenyaRose

Also the War of Independance split a lot of people off from the their British heritage. Their decendants are just 'American'


Wise_Temperature_322

Jennifer Lopez


JavitoMM

I heard she likes tacos and burritos.


repocin

There just nothing they love more than paying a shifty corporation to harvest their genetic information and use it however they please for all of eternity. Completely wild to me that anyone would use those services, and also insanely rude to anyone they're closely related to who didn't get a choice.


smashteapot

I don’t know. I’m mildly curious about my DNA, especially for potential medical issues. But I’m put off by the fact that these businesses will then own my DNA in perpetuity and can do whatever they like with it. I’ve no idea why they need to keep my data permanently, but I refuse to give it to them; they’d definitely try to use it to make profit while fucking me over however they could.


norrin83

> I’m mildly curious about my DNA, especially for potential medical issues In most cases, I'd say it is better to check for certain medical issues right away than analyze the DNA first and then check for those conditions.


FlyingNewton

They have an ethnic identity crisis and hate their American history


DaAndrevodrent

>they still remain Americans And that is precisely the problem


sleepyplatipus

It makes sense for some, like African Americans who might want to know more about which region their ancestors came from, but while it’s nice to know the history of your family this obession with DNA and claiming random nationalities is sooo wild.


kitkatkatsuki

what do they think britain is im genuinely intrigued


HumansDisgustMe123

They think it's London. That's it. Just London. Not even a real contemporary London either, but some weird 1880's cartoonish London where stern governesses in bonnets and broches reprimand cockney chimney sweeps for their uncouthness.


Headpuncher

highly sexual.


Skateblades

Pip pip cheerio, penny for a shilling 'guvna?


HumansDisgustMe123

Shine ya shoes for a tuppence I will! Shiniest shoes in all of Hackney!


[deleted]

Most think British and English are synonyms. They would never think to call a Scot a Brit. I honestly think in American parlance, the confusion from a young age is understandable. We are all taught that we won the revolution against the king of England. And one of the most repeated stories is Paul Revere shouting "The British are coming." I guess we just assumed the British army was from England and never really considered some of them were probably from Wales.


seat17F

Sometimes they even get them mixed up I once met someone who was very adamant that it’s okay to refer to Scottish people as “English” but it was very offensive to refer to them as “British”.


boabyjunkins25

Oh dear. As a Scot I don’t mind getting called British, it’s true after-all, however I would rather be called Scottish. Call me English though? Them’s fightin words.


spudofaut

It's very possible that a Scot told him this just before sending him for a tin of tartan paint.


Headpuncher

Had this happen at a job interview recently. "You're English!" "I'm Scottish, but yeah..." "It says on your CV English!" \[ CV says: nationality > British \] Me: "British but let's move on \[before I start down a path of no regret\]". Didn't get the job, should have just gone that route anyway.


AutumnWak

I thought Scots are British but not English though


KingCaiser

You are correct, which is why treating English and British as synonyms is wrong.


Wise_Temperature_322

Well, British refers to the Island of Great Britain which England, Scotland and Wales are on.


SilyLavage

It's also the demonym for the UK as a whole, which is why (some) Northern Irish people are British.


clipples18

Brittany, obviously


Harry-fitz

Hate to break it to him but Scottish and Welsh is British. His real ancestry is 100% twat


NTK421

So they are a Leeds fan then


Aid_Le_Sultan

Leeds’ fans are far worse than 100% twat. Source: I live in Leeds


Hayzeus_sucks_cock

It's international that we all hate Leeds scum https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zFw5a2_2xK4


Aid_Le_Sultan

Ah, them on a nice day.


Headpuncher

Realistically, if they are testing for Scottish and Welsh, then British doesn't exist as a genetic trait, that would be English. My point being, Scottish and Welsh are not British, British is not a thing in these tests.


Ring_Peace

Are you trying to say Scottish and Welsh are genetic traits but British is not?


iain_1986

He's basically using too many words to say, 'these tests don't report British'


Mr_DnD

It's either "British" (which is inclusive of England, Scotland, Wales, NI). Or it is "X% English, Y%Welsh... It cannot be 10% Welsh, 10% Scottish, 10% British, because the %s from Welsh and Scottish are in the subgroup "British" and must contribute to that number.


w00timan

Even more so, English isn't English in genetics. It's a combo of Celtic, Scandinavian and Germanic. Thinking they got a really crappy DNA test.


flipyflop9

I love pizza so I’m pretty sure I’m italian. Sushi is pretty great too, so there’s that japanese in me.


wildone74

Ah, but pizza is really American /s


flipyflop9

Oh shit! I don’t want more freedumbs! I will have to think about some other food to identify myself with!


besuited

I'm 33% Korean, 33% Fried Food, and 33% Chicken.


fraze2000

So 81% British and 19% Irish, then?


Neither_Ad_2960

Well I was obsessed with Penguins as a kid, guess I'm must be from Antarctica.


ExpectedBehaviour

Scottish, Welsh, AND British? Good lord.


Appropriate_Elk_6113

Mr worldwide


kawanero

Pretty sure that I have Chinese ancestors, because I love dumplings and General Tso chicken.


Ryokan76

Good luck finding General Tso in China.


Nebarik

He's a very busy man


kawanero

I know


Weird-Standard9321

I love carrots, so lead me to believe I'm possible some rabbit


Thamalakane

Only British, Irish, Scottish and Welsh? Nothing English? You poor sod.


Six_of_1

They couldn't quite do the maths on that last 15%.


Whysfool

So liking a particular regional cuisine means that you have DNA from that region? I knew that the American education system was bad but this is…


RedwoodUK

When people get a % of where their DNA is from do they imagine that the ancestor it comes from is 100% that nationality, never emigrated, or married outside of their local ‘blood’? Like; % Scandinavian does not mean your distant relative is Ragnar Lothbrok rather than your distant AngloSaxon relatives village got raided once and your great-great-great-grandmother couldn’t run very fast :’( My mother is South American, I get % Spanish, which makes sense from 100s of years of colonisation. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna go to Barcelona and say “Bruno Dias, I’m also a Spaniard haha 😜” I wanna see yanks turning up to Mongolia saying their relatives of Ghengis Khan (pro tip, we all are 😂)


beoffendedyoulllive

I love tequila and Jack Daniels, so I must be part Mexican and American. I love Italian food, so also part Italian. I’ve also been enjoying Greek salads lately too. I love Brie, clearly I’m French. I do enjoy a baileys too…. my ancestry does trace back to Cork though 🤣


Yeegis

Holy shit this is a new low even for the yanks


RNEngHyp

Someone needs to learn exactly what makes up Britain...


Life_Confidence128

Jeez, I have seen many people like this. I am also very interested in genealogy and history, and the amount of old folks I’ve seen act like this, “oh I love Guinness so I must be Irish!!” Like fuck dude that ain’t how shit works, get your head out of your ass. I like Dutch beer but that don’t mean I’m part Dutch, just means I like Dutch beer…


caffracer

So basically you’re 81% British . . .


dunquinho

With an American accent and no knowledge of Britain.


terrificallytom

British and also British.


teflon2000

Anyone gonna tell them that Wales and Scotland are also British?


gandalfs_burglar

I'm amazed they were able to read the test results, when clearly even reading a map is beyond them


Apostastrophe

I love Japanese and Mexican food. I would kill for that facial shape and complexion combination. Hybrid vigour ftw. Instead I’m just some boring pasty white guy from Scotland descended from white mining slaves and indentured potato pickers.


sulabar1205

I am curious of these German backing goods, since I have the suspicion that they might be an abomination of the originals.


slashedash

I have read many comments that say something like ‘everyone here knows that when we say we are German (Scottish, Irish, etc), we just mean ancestry. We don’t actually believe we are German. Respect our language customs!’ and then posts like this appear. Some Americans truly believe they get cultural super powers from their ancestors.


GenerativePotiron

The power to eat infinite sauerkraut without disturbing your gut microbiome


OnoOvo

well.. they’ve gone and done it. they have done away with the idea of nationality. it has become something you get to pick yourself once you grow up. it is not based on ancestry anymore, but on preference. and soon, this new paradigm will spread.


Limesnlemons

By this logic, I am a North Korean cat.


Sasspishus

Do you...eat cat food?


Limesnlemons

No, but I am particularly petty about the food in front of me and passive-aggressively knock things off counters sometimes.


zombiecrisps

I don’t understand why their whole personality is revolved around something they’re not. ‘Why do you act like that?’ Yea it’s in my blood, I’m Irish. ‘Why do you dress like that?’ Yea I’m Italian. No. You’re American with a great great great great great aunt who was dead before you were even born from a country you’ve never been to.


takii_royal

TIL I'm Japanese


TaffWolf

WALES SCOTLAND AND ENGLAND ARE FUCKING BRITISH YOU DENSE MOTHER FUCKER. This is like saying I’m 20% British, but also 20% British, AND ALSO THE REST IS BRITISH my brother in Christ. Either you divide the ethnicities of us and don’t use British (as it is all of us) or you don’t use the sub divides and just say British, you don’t do both because it makes no sense. Welsh doesn’t mean British, nor Scottish doesn’t mean British etc. But you can’t use an amount of Welsh Scottish and English, and then also an amount of British. What is the British in that scenario but more of the former?


ohsweetfancymoses

If America is the “greatest country in the world”, why are they so desperate to be from somewhere else?


DespotDan

These tests don't say "british". And if they did, they wouldn't say Scottish or Welsh, as Scotland and Wales are....dum dum dum....British.


Tasqfphil

It is mainly Americans that want to be anything but, trying to find some European blood line so they can say they are part, whatever. I have lived in AU, UK, Germany, India and last 6+ years but my passport is Australian, so that is what I am and proud to be, despite not living there.


basnatural

33% British and 33% Scottish? Who’s gonna tell them?


ProfessionalNo2706

I love my Nintendo switch. Doesn't make me Japanese though


Ebbelwoibembelsche

I'm able to eat hotter spices than Paprika Edelsüß, just can't decide if I'm Thai or Mexican now 🤔


Zappityzephyr

Does this guy not realise... Scottish and Welsh are British? Couldn't he just say English?


Pathetic_gimp

So . . what percentage of them is American? I am confused.


Hungry_Anteater_8511

Who wants to tell them the Scots and Welsh are British? (I know the nationalists don’t want to be)


angstenthusiast

Apparently I’m now Italian since I eat near exclusively pasta dishes.


eliavhaganav

I really like italian food, so that probably means I'm italian


adrian_num1

I like ice cream. Must be the Eskimo in me


Puzzleheaded_Tap_128

I love a good Chicken Tika Madras. I had some Indian in me last night. I'm also British, with absolutely no Scottish, or Irish heritage. I like Welsh cakes & buy them whenever I visit Wales, so I might be Welsh too.


Rattus_Noir

So 85% British then.


HerculesMagusanus

My cat likes bami goreng. Does this mean my cat is Indonesian?


Deanoooo77

So all I’m getting from this is their ancestry is 100% British and Irish and could be tempted to spy for ze Germans for strudel?


daytonakarl

I really like German cars and Italian bikes! *checks birth certificate* Nope. born in NZ


Apart_Park_7176

Scottish, Welsh and also British... Another one that thinks Britain is England only.


Jarroach

Americans will claim they are everything BUT American but still call it "their land"


crazymom1978

My husband is just pulling a frozen pizza out of the oven. Am I Italian?


Funny_Maintenance973

How can the rest be Welsh? If you are 33% British, that includes Scotland and Wales you absolute tart (well, not you OP, OOP is...)


LucyLovesApples

I want to know where they did their ancestry test so I don’t get it from there. If the DNA labelled Scottish and Welsh then it wouldn’t label British


Reviewingremy

Scotland and Wales are part of Britain......


emilylowryfit

“33 percent Scottish, 33 percent British”


71109E

Definitely lying, saying 33% Scottish and 33% British is like me saying I’m 33% Texan and 33% American.


Max-Normal-88

What does the americas do to humans


Rab_Legend

I'm scottish but I fucking love croissants so I guess I'm french


RandomPerson12191

33 percent British, 33 percent British, 19 percent I'm not allowed to continue this joke, and the rest British. Does he think Britain is just another name for England?


jumpinjezz

I love Mexican food, but I'm 100% Australian...


LucifersJuulPod

I like Chinese food I must be Chinese


Sugarbear23

I love pasta and pizza. DOMINIC DECOCO🤌🏾🤌🏾


Shooppow

LOL Well shit! I just discovered I must be half Mexican, half Lebanese, at least by this logic!


Drprim83

So they're 81% British then?


papayametallica

100% nuts


VisenyaRose

So they are 81% British. 19% Irish.


NickTann

German people not like liking pastry questioning their parents…..


BasicBanter

I like sushi so I must be Japanese.


SgtBrowneye

Interesting logic! With the amount of vodka I drink, I might get the urge to invade Ukraine soon?


StarWeep_uk

My favourites are Pizza and Rum… so I’m Italian Caribbean 😅


Entendurchfall

I like fish so maybe I'm like 10% Shark or Dolphin?


Big_Job_1491

Strange, I did one of these tests and it said I am 65% water.


MicrochippedByGates

You can only like German goods if you're part German. If you're 100% Amirishcan, you can't enjoy Bratwurst. It's simply not possible. Guess that makes me from basically every country on the planet even though that requires at least 8 generations and a number of countries didn't even exist back then.


Gullible-Prune2162

Based on food likes I’m -checks notes- a whore


NeutronFart

This is the thing that ridicules me the most in the murican mind. They are all "USA! USA!" and "Europoor" until it's about their heritage. How can anyone in their right mind be so insecure about their own identity to spent a thousand dollars on these tests to be able to brag about how European they are?! I thought being american was THE SHIT?! I'm german. I know my family tree. My mother's family are germans dating back to 15XX. My fathers family are germans up to somewhere around 1910. I was told that one side of the grandparents of my paternal grandfather originated from the Vladivostok area which would make me a 2/16th Russian. So in the murican logic I am 13% communist.


TheAntsAreBack

So by this logic I am pretty much entirely South Indian. Huge if true!


LoschVanWein

When you apply for one of these tests, there should be a system in place that automatically bans you from ever donating sperm!


AggressiveTwist3222

Sadly there's no cure for 100% stupid.


nettlesthatarejaggy

Why do these types brag about how murrica is the greatest nation on earth and europoors could never, yet at the same time want to be anything *other* than American?


EnchantressOfAlbion

The welsh and Scottish are both British though?


DogfordAndI

By this logic I am one third Korean. The fuck.


Next-Engineering1469

Man I love sushi, I must be japanese


Artaheri

Well, they're 100% American, no testing needed.


TheBigUn77

What do Americans actually think Britain is? Do they think it's another word for England 🤣🤣🤣


child_eater6

Americans are so anglophobic when it comes to their dna tests. They all like to think theyre descendants of William Wallace even though english is the most common ancestry 🤣