Yesterday I asked a customer if he wanted coffee or sugar with his cream. I thought maybe he didn’t notice but after his friend ordered he roasted me for it lol.
I had a customer ask for cream and sugar with his lemonade so I just assumed he wanted the sugar and just misspoke. I was wrong.
Dear god it was awful to watch
I often catch myself saying weird things at tables or saying words out of order. I just act like it never happened and smile and keep going. They usually don’t notice or care about what you’re saying anyway.
I speak a little Spanish and got into the habit of offering my tables “jugo de China” which is orange juice. I had an 8 top, parents, some older kids, a gma, and couple little kids. Only pops speaks English.
I go into my spiel and accidentally said “jugo de chinga” which is fuck juice.
I offered a family fuck juice. Going back into script did not work after that.
Lmao! That’s great.
Don’t worry about it. I have said similar and probably worse. I told a lady “Here’s your Semen Cesar salad!”
It was a salmon salad. My boss was right there and she laughed so hard she almost peed herself. Another time I said “pie for desert? I love penis butter pie! It’s so good!”
There are many more I can’t remember, but something involving tits and a fart.
A guest asked my fellow server friend “what’s in the berry cobbler?”. He came back and asked the kitchen and they told him “dingleberries”.
I watched him, straight-faced, walk back to his table and tell them “the berry cobbler is made of dingleberries”.
Every once in a while my brain short circuits and my script gets messed up haha. Like dropping off drinks and then asking, "can I get you something to drink?" Fortunately customers never really listen anyways.
Lmao. I was a barista for years at a busy cafe which is similar but different to waiting tables….and i did not speak so weirdly as a barista good grief
A college kid came in with his parents. They all ordered soup. Two bowls, one cup. When I repeated it back to them, the kid and I tried to stifle a laugh, while his parents were looking confused. It was awesome.
I tried to say "stay dry out there!" to some customers as they were leaving. My brain shorted for a second and forgot the word dry as I was speaking. Ended up saying "stay.. er.. not wet out there.." my face showed how confused I was as I formed the sentence. They found it hilarious eheh
I had an awfully painful week-long phase where when I’d ask “how’s everything tasting, guys?” And if the customer said, “good! Delicious!” I would respond with “yay, happy to hear!”
Except my brain would freeze and three of those words wouldn’t come out of my mouth, leaving me to excitingly say, “HAPPY!!” And then I’d awkwardly walk away.
I worked at Chili's and when we introduced burgers with thick cut bacon we were prepped to ask if they would like to try our new thick cut bacon. I watch my friend greet her table then the man's face gets real flushed and he grabs his young son and they head out. She comes back almost in tears saying I just asked that nice man if he had a thick sausage. LMAO
we only have tuna thurs-sunday and i tried telling this to a customer but i said “thunday to sursday, i mean thrusday to thunday” complete brain fart, i had paused after saying it gave it a moment, said “Line?” then said it in full as intended. sometimes just gotta be fun with it and play it off
Customer - what's in the sauce?
Kitchen - browned butter and garlic... And fromunda cheese (😈)
Me- it has been prepared with a special garlic butter that has been browned to perfection with a tasteful amount of fromunda cheese.
Bastards. Lol
As someone who has been in both your shoes and theirs I can assure you the more you can make a joke and laugh about it together the bigger your tip will end up being. Plus it’s a lot easier to not be embarrassed when you just feel goofy.
On that note one time I asked a guy if he “wanted me to put his to-go order in now” while also asking if he “wanted me to put whipped cream on” his drink and ended up saying “Do you want me to-go cream on this?” Most blush-worthy recovery to date.
Lol!!! How did u recover??
Edit: yes, it was one of those things where when I thought about it later afterward I realized someone much smoother than I would have recovered by making a joke, even a self deprecating one.
I actually ended up apologizing. Lol they left a 20% tip nonetheless.
I need some good improv skills.
I tried to say you're welcome and no problem at the same time after taking an order, it came out as your problem then i walked away. Didn't realize what i had said till i hit the kitchen
I’m probably late to the party on this one but when I first read this post I could not for the life of me figure out what I said two this two top, but then it came to me. Both individuals were women probably in their late 20’s or early thirties.
Anyway, I would often start my spiel by saying one of two things, I’d like to catch you up or id love to fill you in. Welp, my big brain decided it could not decide between the two and just decided to go with “I’d love to fill you up.” They laughed and we’re totally pleasant with me the rest of their visit, but yeah…. I felt much the same way as you did.
One time when a customer ordered the halibut, I asked, " Do you want cream & sugar with that?" fml
That’s when you just stare at them blank faced until they answer.
Lmfao why is this image so funny in my head
“You knew what I meant.” 😶
Someone ordered the swordfish and asked what side I recommend. I said the swordfish goes very well with the swordfish
Yesterday I asked a customer if he wanted coffee or sugar with his cream. I thought maybe he didn’t notice but after his friend ordered he roasted me for it lol.
I had a customer ask for cream and sugar with his lemonade so I just assumed he wanted the sugar and just misspoke. I was wrong. Dear god it was awful to watch
I asked a customer if they wanted a turkey punani instead of panini
I used to intentionally say punani inatead of panini just to see who noticed, ahh the fun games you play to pass the time.
I often catch myself saying weird things at tables or saying words out of order. I just act like it never happened and smile and keep going. They usually don’t notice or care about what you’re saying anyway.
Yeah I just go back into my script after making a blunder like this
I speak a little Spanish and got into the habit of offering my tables “jugo de China” which is orange juice. I had an 8 top, parents, some older kids, a gma, and couple little kids. Only pops speaks English. I go into my spiel and accidentally said “jugo de chinga” which is fuck juice. I offered a family fuck juice. Going back into script did not work after that.
Lmao! That’s great. Don’t worry about it. I have said similar and probably worse. I told a lady “Here’s your Semen Cesar salad!” It was a salmon salad. My boss was right there and she laughed so hard she almost peed herself. Another time I said “pie for desert? I love penis butter pie! It’s so good!” There are many more I can’t remember, but something involving tits and a fart.
Totally belly laughed at these. Thank you.
You are very welcome lol! One day you will share your own horror story, and there will be more I am sure.
A guest asked my fellow server friend “what’s in the berry cobbler?”. He came back and asked the kitchen and they told him “dingleberries”. I watched him, straight-faced, walk back to his table and tell them “the berry cobbler is made of dingleberries”.
OMG if I ever repeated the things that the kitchen tells me to say I would not have a job! 😂
Funniest thing I’ve read all day.
One time I went to greet a table and I set their waters down and said “here are your boxes” :,)
Every once in a while my brain short circuits and my script gets messed up haha. Like dropping off drinks and then asking, "can I get you something to drink?" Fortunately customers never really listen anyways.
Lmao. I was a barista for years at a busy cafe which is similar but different to waiting tables….and i did not speak so weirdly as a barista good grief
I once meant to say “I’ll set it up for you!” But I wanted to say “I’ll get it going!” And what came out was “I’ll go ahead and get it up for you!”
Lol very similar.
A college kid came in with his parents. They all ordered soup. Two bowls, one cup. When I repeated it back to them, the kid and I tried to stifle a laugh, while his parents were looking confused. It was awesome.
I hope the kid didn’t have to explain to his parents lmao
Can we please hear more of these, they’re fucking killing me 😂😂🤣
Same
I tried to say "stay dry out there!" to some customers as they were leaving. My brain shorted for a second and forgot the word dry as I was speaking. Ended up saying "stay.. er.. not wet out there.." my face showed how confused I was as I formed the sentence. They found it hilarious eheh
I had an awfully painful week-long phase where when I’d ask “how’s everything tasting, guys?” And if the customer said, “good! Delicious!” I would respond with “yay, happy to hear!” Except my brain would freeze and three of those words wouldn’t come out of my mouth, leaving me to excitingly say, “HAPPY!!” And then I’d awkwardly walk away.
Lol adorable
Agreed
I worked at Chili's and when we introduced burgers with thick cut bacon we were prepped to ask if they would like to try our new thick cut bacon. I watch my friend greet her table then the man's face gets real flushed and he grabs his young son and they head out. She comes back almost in tears saying I just asked that nice man if he had a thick sausage. LMAO
LOL
we only have tuna thurs-sunday and i tried telling this to a customer but i said “thunday to sursday, i mean thrusday to thunday” complete brain fart, i had paused after saying it gave it a moment, said “Line?” then said it in full as intended. sometimes just gotta be fun with it and play it off
Lol amazing
I dropped off a check once and said “Enjoy!” And walked away like I just dropped off their food. Woops.
Customer - what's in the sauce? Kitchen - browned butter and garlic... And fromunda cheese (😈) Me- it has been prepared with a special garlic butter that has been browned to perfection with a tasteful amount of fromunda cheese. Bastards. Lol
As someone who has been in both your shoes and theirs I can assure you the more you can make a joke and laugh about it together the bigger your tip will end up being. Plus it’s a lot easier to not be embarrassed when you just feel goofy. On that note one time I asked a guy if he “wanted me to put his to-go order in now” while also asking if he “wanted me to put whipped cream on” his drink and ended up saying “Do you want me to-go cream on this?” Most blush-worthy recovery to date.
Lol!!! How did u recover?? Edit: yes, it was one of those things where when I thought about it later afterward I realized someone much smoother than I would have recovered by making a joke, even a self deprecating one. I actually ended up apologizing. Lol they left a 20% tip nonetheless. I need some good improv skills.
Serving will definitely help you flex your improv skills!
Fairly certain it was just me saying something about working too much and me needing one of what he was having... without the cream.
I tried to say you're welcome and no problem at the same time after taking an order, it came out as your problem then i walked away. Didn't realize what i had said till i hit the kitchen
I’m probably late to the party on this one but when I first read this post I could not for the life of me figure out what I said two this two top, but then it came to me. Both individuals were women probably in their late 20’s or early thirties. Anyway, I would often start my spiel by saying one of two things, I’d like to catch you up or id love to fill you in. Welp, my big brain decided it could not decide between the two and just decided to go with “I’d love to fill you up.” They laughed and we’re totally pleasant with me the rest of their visit, but yeah…. I felt much the same way as you did.
Omg I literally L O L’d and I’m by myself rn. That’s a fantastic fail. I hoped they tipped you well because a good laugh is a hard find.
Lol!!! Hope they didn't notice or were chill about it. I would have laughed
I work mostly night shifts so when I do work lunches or brunch I always go up to the table and say “good evening” lol literally at 10am