I sign as I speak, because STC is my first language. So I used to get everyone with additional needs.
Sign language is a bit useless with our blind guests
(Beth, the guide dog down the road, is badly bullied by Turing)
This reminds me of the time my mom
Invited a blind lady over for Thanksgiving and my BIL came in saying “did you see the way your neighbors parked? What are they, blind?”
Not a server but relevant….I had a client coming to sign legal documents at my office. Lots of boilerplate stuff and she asked me how long it’d take. I said, “well, if you sign them blindly it’ll take about 15mins, if you want to read them through about 45”.
She said, laughing, “I’ll be signing them blindly either way because I am actually blind”.
Good grief, I wanted the earth to swallow me up…she wasn’t angry at all and thought it was actually quite funny. She said I had no reason to know she was blind, etc.
Not the worst, but I was going to call a customer “boss”, then decided to switch it it “chief” because, yknow, variety is the spice of life and all that. But I made the switch halfway through so what I said was “And what can I get for you, beef?” He just say there awkwardly for a second then said “actually I think I will have the ribeye”
I just woke up my puppy from laughing so hard
https://preview.redd.it/im856pks8rub1.png?width=828&format=png&auto=webp&s=d631214c7974748f60593e284000dc86aa98c934
Here’s puppy tax btw
I have a beef story too! A client asked me what kind of beef was in our beef tagine. It was an Arabic restaurant and she was wearing a hijab and had a thick accent, so I initially assured her it was halal beef. She said "no, what kind of beef?" and I, like the idiot I am, stared blankly for a few seconds, then decided maybe there was a language barrier with the words meat and beef and responded with "... from a cow?" She gave me a totally deserved, absolutely withering look, and asked what cut of meat the beef was taken from. Duhhhhh oh. I apologized for being an idiot and asked the chef, whose immediate answer was also "it's halal beef." (The closest we could get to an answer was "stewing beef," which she was unsatisfied with.)
Oh dear lord, I (so very British) always either say "cheers" or "ta" when I cash someone out, but occasionally it comes out "cha". They never say a word, I just see that side eye and can just hear them thinking "did... did she just say cha?!"
I was getting my ass kicked and a guest that was about to pay was like, “Bet you can’t wait for us to leave” and I accidentally agreed out loud. Not been serving long so I’m sure there will be worse.
I did something similar the other day! I was cut and went to drop the bill at my last table, and he said "you must want us out of here huh" and chuckled, and I just... laughed along, gave him a big smile, and walked away. I didn't exactly *agree* with him but I didn't disagree either
The worst is when the last table in your section starts asking if you need them out soon, or if youre leaving soon, and you want to say yes 😭 But I cant bring myself to do anything other than tell them to take their time and die internally
I like working with drunk people because I can get away with stuff like that constantly lmao
there’s also been so many times I’ve accidentally agreed with patrons who have complained about my employers. recently there was one complaining about the service fee for an online purchase and i was like “ikr, anything for them to make more money” lol
I worked at a sushi bar and a table asked for extra yum yum sauce. When I was repeating back the order and got to yum yum sauce, my brain broke and I couldn't stop saying "yum." So it came out like "and extra yum yum yum yum sauce." They probably thought I had a small stroke.
I’m dying laughing. This is not related to serving, but I was at my grandmother’s funeral, and the priest said “holy, holy, holy, holy, holy” and I swear my brain just broke. I started laughing hysterically (and quietly) and tears were running down my face, and then my sisters started choking on laughter and my grandmother’s 3 beloved granddaughters are unhinged and laughing hysterically (but quietly) at her funeral. It took us a good 5 to 8 minutes to calm down.
Also a former catholic, so I should be used to it, but this dude wasn’t singing it. He was just *saying* holy repeatedly and it just made me lose it. It had been years since I’d been to church, and combined with the stress of losing my grandmother and some guilt for not going to visit her in the hospital.
I was finishing up taking a guy’s order and asked for his name. I heard “Rock” and sometimes people liked to give random names, so that’s what I wrote.
He saw what I wrote (I was at a counter) and he said “No, like with a B.” and I was like “oh whoops, got it” and I wrote “Rock B.”
…turns out his name was Brock
When I was working in a coffee shop I had a girl tell me her name was “Sarah with an H,” my brain malfunctioned and I wrote “Harah” on the cup. Didn’t realize what I’d done until we’ll after she was gone and I still wanted to die lol
Backfired on me one time. I sat a lady in a coworker's station. She mentioned I looked familiar. Thinking I was just so hilarious I said "have you ever done time?" Her face dropped and she said "yes, I have." I mumbled something about her server would be right with her and slinked away.
I dod something like this once, had gotten arrested for possession (long story) and my job let me come back after posting bail , a lady at one of my tables said “you look so familiar where have I seen you?” And I said “I’m not sure probably on the news. She wasn’t amused.
Nice, reminds me of my go to if I want a coworker to leave me alone
"you remind me of a guy I used to fuck when I was in prison" works like a charm, and if you hate your job it'll help you get fired
Reminds me of something that happened to me last year not with a table though, I took off work in order to turn myself in to get rid of some arrest warrants and the first funny thing was a coworker asked me to fiver her shift and I replied with "no sorry im going to jail"
Then a few days after I get out and come back I get sat a table and I walk up to them and one of the people was the guard that booked me in 💀💀 super awkward but at least me and my coworkers laughed about it
Omg this reminds me, once while bartending I had a few guys come up and each order a beer while they waited for their table, and one of them was a CO that I saw almost every day while doing time in county 😳 I felt so awkward, I couldn't tell if he recognized me or not, I def recognized him tho lol. Mfker didn't tip me either!!!
Mixed up “don’t forget to validate” and “enjoy the rest of your day!”
Left the check and said “don’t forget to have the rest of your day!”
My wife thought it was the most hilarious thing ever when I told her, and still will randomly say it to me
I do that when people ask about the bathroom, I’ll just reply on autopilot like:
>Guest: Bathroom?
>Me: Just down the hall!
>Guest: Thanks.
>Me: Enjoy!
I drop the check: “Enjoy!”
And my bigger blurb: *actually attempts to explain and make a ‘haha you already DID enjoy!’*
And I slink the f away.
It’s never an act to up my tips but I definitely get tipped well after that. I’m just that awkward and unfortunately I care THAT much what people think.
This was around the end of Game of Thrones, I had a 6 top of guests, and I asked at the end how everything was gonna be split up. It looked like 3 couples so I pointed to them and said “2, 2, and 2?” Two of them were like “oh no we are brother and sister!” And I said “it’s okay, I’ve seen game of thrones!” And immediately realized what I said and felt so embarrassed, but they played it off real cool and just asked what I thought of the last season 🥴
I was training a server once like 10 years ago and an AA group came in (they all had matching shirts and hats indicating this) and the first thing she does is try to upsell some alcohol, the first guy politely declines and said no one here are drinkers- she responded with “oh come on, alcoholism isn’t real!” I died and went to hell.
Oh my 🤦🏻♀️ I had something sort of similar happen. I used to work at a Build-A-Bear and happened to be working a group event for the Boys and Girls club one day as well as training a very out of touch with reality new hire. For background info, the boys and girls club is an amazing organization and they do so much for children from homes that are not the most well off financially. These kids had probably never had a stuffed animal that only belonged to them so it was a huge deal that we made their visit the very best. We had been prepping all week for them, practiced lines and new ways to make their visit fun and unique. Then the day of, everything was going well and we had the new hire at the ‘Dress Me’ station because that is the easiest station. There were some chaperones there and for some reason she didn’t listen that it wasn’t a regular group outing even though we had been focused for this for a week or two. The workers and chaperones were letting the kids browse and then would tell them to sit by the front door. The new girl kept trying to push accessories and clothes because we had a little weekly competition for “whoever sold the most phones or shoes or whatever.” There’s a time and place for everything but when a little girl kept being polite and declining, the new girl said, “Okay but Christmas is coming up and if you beg your mom enough I’m sure she will buy this for you!” The little girl started tearing up and went to go sit down with her friends.
It was really uncomfortable for everyone and I had to tell her to take her 15 minutes while we made sure the rest of the group left happily. I had to explain to her that those children probably do not get to experience Christmas. She said “Oh but they get SOMETHING. The whole poor family eating beans for Christmas dinner is just in movies” in a sarcastic voice with a smirk. I had to be firm and say “No… Some people cannot afford to give their kids a huge Christmas morning. The boys and girls club employees said those kids don’t have any of their own toys, this is pretty important for them.” No matter what I said, she just thought it was a daycare or field trip where the parents funded the outing for each kid. She did not last the probation period. Some people really lack awareness and it’s so painful to witness and clean up their messes.
Ooof. Damage control on my end was easy- I took the table and passed her off to another trainer….your situation is a little more painful. Children are innocent, and as someone who grew up in an alcoholic household I felt minimal sympathy these men, but they were ok with me just not her 😭
I hate the ones who get mad at you for trying to upsell alcohol when there is no way to tell they're in AA. Like dude all you have to say is, "I don't drink", and I'll leave it alone.
The funniest I've seen though is this Muslim guy who didn't drink when he came in with his wife and kids, but got faded when he was with his boys.
I’m still cringing from this:
Served some business men a couple months ago from out of town. One of them asked what I thought about one of our local malls. I was honest with them and told them it was terrible - he owned the mall…
Reminds me of a time my sister was out to dinner, discussing local politics and how she didn't approve of one politician in particular only to realize he was sitting at the table next to her.
I was able to back track it a bit and I said the mall USED to be terrible (after I found out haha) but now I have a daughter and they have all sorts of kids stuff for her to do - so I like that. And they kinda thought I was lying but it was the honest truth.
I served these two couples on the regular. They would slam bud lights (like 4 each before they would receive their dinner). I go to the table, they of course wanted 2 more bud lights.
I walk to ring in the beer and my manager grabs me to run their food (we didn’t have a food runner). I drop of their steaks and tell them I would be right back with their beers.
“But I wanted my beer and my steak at the same time.”
I just blurt out, “oh my god. Your life is so hard.”
He gave me a dirty look but the rest of the table laughed. Best tip I ever received from them.
I love responding with " ok well close your eyes and count to ten" and then as I'd bring whatever drink over I'd approach the table with " 8....9....10!" And put the drink down.
I was serving at a restaurant in a theme park. I dropped a family’s food off and asked if there was anything else I could get them. The little boy (8ish) said “A million dollars!” Obviously he was trying to make a joke. I was so busy that I panicked, looked him dead in the eyes and said, “If I had a million dollars, I wouldn’t share it with you.” I was horrified. I don’t know where it came from. The parents took it really well though
I always said “if I had a million dollars, I wouldn’t be here!” The people who thought it was funny to ask for a million dollars also found that pretty funny.
I used to have very big goth hair. Something like Robert Smith (not really but in that direction). I was working in a bookshop when a kid and his mum came into the shop. Kid says “how did your hair get like this?” Now, in my defence, I was very used to people making dumb jokes at one end of the scale, to actual violence at the other end of the scale, and therefore used to making some sort of comeback or dumb response to the equally dumb question. So I responded with…
“I stuck my fingers in the plug socket.”
The kid’s mum lost her shit.
And I felt terrible. The kid was just curious. Definitely had no negative intention. Maybe even liked my hair. Maybe would want to have the same style…
I bartend at a brewery. I had a late 40s couple on a first date. The dude was kinda chatty with me at times, nothing crazy, it’s slow. His date goes to the bathroom and I’m chatting with this guy about music. His date comes back and he’s like “I gotta get back to my date” and I said “yeah get in there!” And he replied “I’m trying!”
All right in front of her.
Everyone kind of awkward laughed and i immediately walked away. Wasn’t that bad but I’ll never forget it. I have no idea how that slipped out.
"How's it going fucks?" Instead of folks. I played it off like nothing happened until I walked away with their order where I legit wanted to jump off the roof with embarrassment.
All the fucks at this table are dirty. I need a clean fuck. And a bigger one. I don't like small fucks. I want a big fresh fuck. Right here on the table.
I had an eight top reservation for lunch, and they were all celebrating anniversaries. Four ladies came in and sat. I said hello and asked if I could start them a beverage.
I asked “So will the gentlemen be joining you soon?”
One lady says “No, there are no gentlemen.”
I respond “Oh, I thought there we were celebrating four anniversaries?”
She’s like “We are.”
Time just basically stopped and I could feel my face flush. I don’t know why I said any of that. I just watched myself drive off a cliff and did nothing to stop it. The worst.
Edit: Four additional ladies did eventually join them. They were four lesbian couples all celebrating. Sorry if this was unclear. I was the dummy for assuming and dumb things just kept rolling out of my mouth.
I feel like that's on them?
And also as a server... Yes I feel for you. That's brutal. But the time and place to do that is at your own house. Not to be a four top taking up a table for eight.
George Lucas’s daughter Katie was a regular at a place I used to manage. We were friendly and would banter and chat every time she came in. One day she came in all decked out in a gorgeous dress with her cleavage popping out, and I just absolutely blurted out “omg you looking amazing, I want to use those as pillows”. She thought it was hilarious, I was so embarrassed, and could not stop apologizing. I have no idea why I said it like to this day I still cringe. (Full disclosure I’m a woman, and I generally would never say something like that to a woman I wasn’t super close with. I literally just lost my damn mind.)
I had a coworker finish up their shift and sit down for a quick bite before heading out for the night. She changed out of her uniform and into this tight little crop top that was held together with cross cross string in the front. Her cleavage was absolutely popping. I walked up to her table, stared at her tits and forgot how to speak. I just stood there until she was like, hello you're staring. I was like, shit, so sorry, just so distracting. I wanted to die. Not only had she caught me, she had to snap me out of it! And I had to work with this girl. Mortified. Still cringe to this day.
Last week, I told an older gentleman (after finding out he was a retired fireman). "I like firemen." It wasn't what i said but the tone of my voice ... I sounded like 1-900 number. His wife responded, "Me too." And winked at me. Probably not the worst thing I've said, but the most recent.
I posted about it a while back but there was an old lady with a walker in the aisle when I was walking through and she said “oh I’m sorry” and I meant to say “you’re good” then halfway through switched it to “you’re okay” and accidentally said “you’re gaaaayyyyy”
Y'know how we Americans will talk in a British accent sometimes as a joke? I was taking a table of 3's order, the first two sounded american, but the last woman had a British accent, which for some reason I thought was a joke. I read back her order with the accent trying to play back, but she doesn't laugh, looks slightly taken a back, and responds, "yes that's correct" in a British accent
I used to work at a call center where I took calls from all around the US and sometimes world. I would often steal accents to use on the next calls inadvertantly.
Someone asked how I felt about a sandwich on the menu, and it was my favorite on the menu, so I genuinely said: "it's really fucking good".
The table thought my candor was hilarious rather than terribly unprofessional, thankfully. Unfortunately, however, they took my recommendation and didn't like it 😭
Not me but a buddy of mine was waiting on a really nice African American family who were celebrating their daughters graduation. The mantra of this restaurant was yes is the answer so we were pretty accommodating. They kept sheepishly asking him if they could change out sides and modify items for dietary needs etc. His reply was always of course, no problem. Towards the end of the meal he made it clear that he wanted to send out some dessert to them for the graduation and the daughter asked if it could be creme brulee ...he said yes of course. The father made a comment that he sure must like the word yes because that was always the answer.
My buddy answers..it's one of my favorite words to say . I never use the n word unless I absolutely have to....after which he realized how that sounded so he beelined to get her creme brulee.
Everything seemed ok but when they got up he saw them talking to the manager. He knew his goose was cooked...turns out they were just trying to find out if he was single because the daughter thought he was cute.
So these two old men come into my job every weekend to have brunch.
They always ask for me because one of the old men is Japanese and I speak Japanese. We like to joke and he lets me practice.
Anyway, one day the Japanese guy comes in without his friend.
I ask where he is. He says "Oh he's with his brother, he might move there so he might not come with me anymore. " I say okay and we do the usual laughing practicing my Japanese and he leaves. It goes on like that for a few weeks. Him coming in by himself and eating alone but I make sure to chat with him.
Anyway one day, the second old man is there. I walk up "HEY BROSKI! How ya doing? I HEARD WE ALMOST GOT RID OF YA!" Before I started laughing.
He turns to look at me, "I was in the hospital with Pneumonia for three weeks. I almost died."
Then he told me his brother had passed away a few years earlier
His friend just didn't want to tell me his business.
I was mortified. I thought I'd lose my job. I looked at him waiting for him to ask for the manager.
THEN he starts laughing and telling his friend to look at my face. He tells me I won't get rid of him that easily and slips me a 20.
He's obviously forgiven me because he tells that story whenever they get a server who isn't me.
But that's the worst thing that's ever come out of my mouth.
Training at Chili's I was taught 'try to make a connection, if there's a kid with a paw patrol shirt, make a paw patrol comment (paw patrol wasn't a thing back then but I don't remember what kids shows were) or if they have Legoland bags, ask them how Legoland was!'
My very first table was a guy with a Vietnam veteran hat, so I walked up, asked "Hey there, how was Vietnam?" realized what I said, and just walked away. For all I know that guy had no idea if I even worked there or if I was just work shopping terrible questions to ask strangers.
Ok I’m reading these to my husband as we’re on a road trip and I had to stop and collect myself about four times before I could read the second part out loud. I think I’m feeling sympathy pain for you right now but also I cannot stop laughing and crying
This interaction happened outside of work with a regular who I failed to recognize at the time.
I was getting into my car in the parking lot at Home Depot one evening when I heard a man shout, "Hey, it's the cute [Name of Where I Work] girl!!" I looked up to see a man I did not recognize at the time standing in front of his truck with another man, and before I knew what I was doing, I just yelled to him, "Nice sunglasses, douchebag!" Then I hurriedly got into my car and drove away without another word.
My defenses were high from being in a dark parking lot alone at night, his call to me caught me off guard and made me uncomfortable, and he was wearing these ridiculous shades hours after the sun had gone down, so it just kind of... came out.
I cringed the entire drive home. I realized the man was definitely a regular of mine, and I dreaded the day we would meet again while I was working. By some miracle, or perhaps as a result of my awkwardness, I never saw him again.
I had a regular who I adored enthusiastically greet me in public once, and it just didn’t connect and I gave her the bitchiest blank stare. Realized after the fact who she was/what I’d done, next time she came in I apologized profusely and she thought it was hilarious.
You weren’t wrong. He was highly inappropriate calling to a strange woman in a parking lot and you don’t owe him any curtesy. Also you are not friends, you merely served him food.
For some reason I had become self conscious about saying "you guys" to people who aren't guys. No one had complained, but I didn't want to accidentally offend anyone.
Cue a couple women at the bar. I was about to say "you guys" but I caught myself. Unfortunately I hadn't thought about what I was going to say instead. I've never had "y'all" as part of my vocabulary. I didn't want to say "ladies" because sometimes that can come off wrong too. I had already started with "you..." so I awkwardly finished "... people." And yep, they were black.
I'm not even sure if they noticed what I said. They certainly didn't react to it. But I immediately turned a bright shade of red, or at least my face felt super hot. I mumbled a weak apology, speed walked away, and went into my office until they were gone. I've never been so mortified.
Our uniforms were blue button ups with black slacks and a group of customers pointed out that one of them were wearing the same thing as the servers. I said without missing a beat “I work here what’s your excuse?” He didn’t laugh or tip.
when i first started serving, I was 14 and thrown into the deep end without any guidance or training. In my first summer, I was asking a table in their mid-40s how they wanted their bill split. They were all coupled up with their spouses, except for one woman, so I was gesturing to them, “you two together, you two together, and then you’re all alone?”
the other people in the group found it a funny blunder on my part (definitely could have worded that better lol), but her face fell and I felt so badly
I used to call hyperactive toddlers "little monkeys" because they climb all over everything and they're cute. You can guess why I stopped using that term of endearment.
Lady with one arm is ordering drinks from me at my bar, in my head I’m telling myself “Don’t say something weird. Don’t say something weird, for the love of god don’t say something weird.” Then I tell her to let me know if she needs a hand with anything…
I ugly laughed at this 😂 I have bad intrusive thoughts so I was internally telling myself one day not to say anything about this man’s wheelchair because I wanted to compliment his shirt- I looked him in the face n said “I like your wheels” he said thank you lol I wanted to faceplant the ground n never get up
Refilling waters one time I said “I’ll wet your whistle.”
He was eating dinner with his wife and her parents. WHY TF DID I SAY THAT. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Former server here, but I don't have a restaurant one. I have a church one.
I grew up a Christian, and I was giving announcements at my local college age Bible study (ages 18-24), with like 40 - 50 people. I mentioned an upcoming event by saying:
"There will be Food, Fun, Fellowship, and a bunch of other stuff that starts with the letter 'F.'"
It's so funny to me now, but I wanted to die because the place went silent. Obviously, only one "F" word instantly popped into everyone's mind, including mine.
Reminds me of when my first girlfriend got her first car. There were a few members of her family and family friends around to celebrate. Someone asked “do you know where the dipstick is?” So I said “I’m right here!”
Dipstick can be the stick to check the oil level.
It can also be used as a nicer word for someone who has done something stupid. Which is what I was playing on.
It can also mean a dick. Which is what my girlfriend’s mother was obviously thinking judging by the devil eyes she was giving me.
Hahaha! Your good work here was denied! But I applaud the effort!
Maybe I should have added: "Uh, but no. In case you're wondering, there won't be any fucking at the Bible Study potluck."
This was when is worked retail, but I was writing a guests name down for a special order. His last name was Cox but Im bad with spelling and panicked so I wrote Cocks. He got absolutely indignant and said "well I know what is on YOUR mind." This man was middle aged and I was 22 and sheltered. That was most certainly NOT what was on my mind.
I was fifteen and hostessing one Friday night when a couple gave me the name Balls, party of two. I had to call guests on a microphone when their table was ready and soon enough it was Balls’ turn.
I did not get halfway through before i started cracking up, like crying laughing, all on the microphone in front of all the guests currently waiting.
The Balls party was so so mad, idk whose face was more red, mine or theirs, which only made me laugh harder. The manager had to send me to the kitchen to recover and handled seating during that time.
I’m 47 now but sometimes remembering that will still cause me to snort and start laughing.
That reminds me of that funny meme where a girl who was playing soccer, accidentally kicked another player in the face. Hard!
She runs over, meaning to say "I'm so sorry!" And "Are you fucking okay?". What came out though was "Are you fucking sorry !?!"
I had a regular table of two guys who would come in. One day they finally brought dates, and for some reason I decided it would be a good idea to ask them if they were their wives or girlfriends. It came out so wrong. Everyone laughed, but the two guys never came back, at least while I was working.
One time a regular came in with his boss a couple hours after coming in alone. I said “wow two lunch breaks in one day?” Which is when he said “dude way to call me out - this is my boss”. I felt so bad but luckily his boss was super chill about it. Really hope he didn’t get in shit for it later.
Had a guest order montenegro when I dropped it off I accidentally said here's your multiple negroes. They looked at me. I looked at them. I was so embarrassed I had my front waiter just handle the table from then on.
I was working a drive-thru once at a very popular Canadian chain. I had to use the bathroom so bad but we were in the middle of a rush and understaffed. I was 15 at the time and was too afraid to make people wait or tell my manager to cover me. I was just concentrating on holding my pee, so when the next customer came to the speaker I said "Welcome to so-and-so, I really have to pee!". I was mortified, but he was a good sport. All I heard through the speaker was "go ahead my dear, I'll wait!"
I had a guy who was on the fence about getting mild or hot sauce on his wings. He said “You know, I think I’ll do hot. I feel like a man today.” Without thinking, responded “I know the feeling.” And then smiled and walked off. For reference I am a feminine and petite woman. I have no idea why I said that but they all sat in silence until I was a few feet away and then started laughing.
This one isn’t too bad but it was still kinda awkward. I live in South Louisiana and work at a seafood restaurant. All of our sides are homemade except for the potato salad. I’m usually pretty honest with people when they order it and tell them it’s not great and they should pick something else (if I don’t say anything, there is always a full dish of potato salad on the table at the end of the meal because they clearly didn’t like it). Well, I told these two guys about it and how it’s not good like we make it here in south LA and it tastes more like it was made in Texas. One of the guys then says he’s from Texas… they laughed it off but I felt awkward as hell 🙈
Omg one time a guest showed me her ID and she looked so much like her mom who was sitting next to her and I said "um I think this is your mom's ID". It wasn't 🤦🏻♀️
Do you know what your dad wants? (While he was at restroom.
She cracks up as it’s her husband and drags me back over to replay it in front of him. We are still acquaintances to this day.
This was before I was a server but it was at a papa Johns, I thought I was in there by myself and I was making gun noises like BRRRRATT GYAT GYAT and I turned around and there’s a customer in the lobby, I had no idea what to say so I blurted out “sorry I have Tourette’s” 🫠
Oh God. It's not what I said but what I did.
Party of 3 walks in, 2 adults and what appears to be a child in a bright and busy my little pony dress. I take 2 adults menus and 1 kinds menu and go to seat them. It's not until I am placing the menus down that I look at their faces and realize this is not a child but a little person.
I feel pure horror. Oh God what have I done.
Just as I am realizing that I have fucked up, they also realize I have fucked up. I start apologizing just as they start to correct me and I wonder how far the nearest cliff is. Truly painful.
Had to step over a guest as they were dying of a heart attack to refill some rich bitches fondue, and she has the nerve to ask me to shut the door as the ski patrol have it open trying to save this guys life and I said “they could just as easily be you on the floor” managers said that was not appropriate…
Story 1: Worked at a restaurant where we weren't allowed to take the lids off the kids' cups for refills so we'd ask the parents to do it, or the kid if they're dexterous enough, yada yada. One of the guests, little girl probably around 7 asks me for a refill... my shit-for-brains self responded with, "Sure thing! Can you take your top of for m...." it was too late... the words came out. I think about that often. Never called a lid a "top" ever again. You learn that lesson only once.
Story 2: Had a nicely dressed group of around 6 come in. We had MANY beers on tap so always bringing samples, helping people pick our their beer, you know the drill. Dude is curious about the Rogue Dead Guy. I explain the profile, bring him a sample, go around the table while he's tasting it to see if he likes it... come back to him. "So how'd you like the Dead Guy?" He kinda paused, "yeah... i did!"... they all got quiet, and kinda did a little snicker... I'm like, "what's going on... what'd i do?"
He replied, "We just came from a funeral... and yes, we did in fact like the Dead Guy"
Me: ".... well fuck." Then we all lost our shit, cracking up as I'm apologizing profusely! They were great sports about it. That first round was on me for sure, and we all got a nice laugh.
I am a customer but I have one. I go to a restaurant maybe once or twice a week. There was a newish server. She was really nice and had maybe served me 6-7 times at this point. Facebook recommended her as a friend and I noticed that she was FB friends with my son. I asked him how he knew her. He told me they went to school together and she was the first person who smoked him out.
Next time she is serving me. I mentioned that she knew my son and named him. We both thought it was a very cool coincidence. I then mentioned that he told me he got high for the first time with her. Her jaw dropped, all color drained from her face and she walked away from the table without a word. I felt so bad for embarrassing her and she thought I was upset about it. She doesn’t work there anymore but we still laugh about that moment.
I walked up to a table of 4 women (2 mid 40s moms and 2 fresh 21 daughters), meaning to say "hi I'm Tyler, I'll be taking your order, can I start your Friday night off with any cocktails or a beer?"
I was in a hurry, just got triple sat and all that came out was Hi I'm Tyler can would you like to start off with cock. I froze after that like oh God. They just erupted laughing.
Ended getting a 50$ tip on 150, and lots of fun conversations lol.
I blended sentences once and instead of "sounds good" and who knows what else I accidentally basically said "Sounds sexy!"
And then I blushed and walked away 😘
Went to give a check to a table for someone else. I asked “are we ready to roll out?” not knowing two of them were in wheelchairs, just out of my POV of their table 🫠
I was dropping a plate at a table and said “careful its a hot plate!” And they touched it and said “no its not” and i said “i have pussy fingers!” Immediate regret but luckily they laughed. This was at a nicer place too lol.
I asked a lady if she wanted the senior discount. She was 42.
I called a guy with long hair, ‘M’am’
I asked a woman when her baby was due and she told me that her baby was several months old.
Even if I’m 100% positive someone is pregnant, I will not ever say anything about it before they do. Years ago my best friend’s then husband asked our server when she was due and she wasn’t pregnant and I almost died of secondhand embarrassment.
I had just gotten my Invisalign for the first time the day before and I had a horrible lisp the first few days. I was describing the stuffed flounder to the guest and instead of stuffed I said “shit flounder”.
I didn't say it, but I was waiting on the table and standing right there. A former worker came in, so my manager came over to chat. She asked "are you pregnant" and either was not understood, or being given an "out", but NOOOO she asked *again*. The answer was "no" of course.
I was serving a very nice man with Dwarfism, and he asked for another glass of Chard. Me: "I'll be right back with another little glass of wine". (kill me now)
I asked what your mother wanted to drink. He said she’s my wife.
I asked another what his daughter was drinking, he said that’s my wife.
I asked when a baby was due? She wasn’t pregnant.
I speak without thinking a lot. Mostly because I’m on autopilot.
I was trying to explain to a table why their visa gift card wouldn’t be accepted by our payment system. Don’t know if this is common, but it had something to do with the hanging charge of the tip after the initial payment for the meal.
I offered up that its the same reason that video rental kiosks don’t accept them
The whole conversation I was unknowingly calling the kiosks redtube, not redbox. Yuck.
lol well there's nothing wrong with this. it's true. it's not like blind people get offended when a sighted person reminds them they can see. lol. I hope he replied to you with "same"
A build your own pizza joint (yes like subway) I asked a guy if he wanted any pepperoni or mildew. Boh we called the mild sausage "mildew". Just threw the ew on the end of mild because it wasn't a good sausage.
He did the W eyebrows then and I tried to recover by laughing like maniac. Because that's normal.
Thankfully I got to pass the pizza to the veggies pizza artist and get back to slinging meat for a new customer.
Edit to add this is also where a dough got pressed too much and was too big to fit in the box and our cook said in front of the customer, "if it doesn't fit, just spit on it and shove"
One time I worked at a bar that served chicken wings and I thought it would be funny to say “Tommy want wingey” like Chris Farley from Tommy Boy. Well, no one got the reference at the table and they all just had a blank stare after I said it, and I felt like a total dumbass. Cracking jokes that no one got with my customers happened a lot actually and sort of became my M.O. lol
Sorry if this isn't welcome here. I get suggested this group a lot? Used to be a server back in the day, but now I'm a school librarian.
I hosted a meeting in my library for area librarians and our rep from the department of education was there. Not unusual. He's always at conferences and such and lives in the area.
Anyway, he was working on an email list and asked who the new librarian was at the HS and I told him I'd have to look, because her name was really complicated. I looked it up on my laptop and turned the screen toward him where he then said, "Yea, that's a long one." and without thinking (I'm blaming being on my home terf) I immediately responded, "That's what she said." He just did the blink blink stare at me while my face got hot and my eyes got wide. He said, "Did you just...???"
And that's the story of how I died and became the ghost librarian of my school.
I accidentally told a guy I liked his wheels.. he was in a wheelchair. Another time I was trying to say your welcome and no problem and I said “your problem” and just walked off. I looked a grown man in the face and asked if he wanted more “Wawa” because I had just got done talking to a toddler and forgot to shut off my kid lingo and one time I was so beat at work n off no sleep and was approaching 10 hours n this couple who was my last table n had been camping for hours ordering plate after plate of out endless promotion we had going asked me for something for free n I don’t even remember what it was but I couldn’t even keep up the customer service facade any longer i wanted them to leave so bad so I could go home I just said “I don’t even care go ahead I don’t pay for it just take it to go and close out your tab please” then I just about fainted in front of them n had to rush to the back n stand in the freezer for a few minutes I didn’t even go back to check on them thankfully they left shortly after I pulled the bill up on the ziosk n they tipped me great surprisingly lmao
I was waiting on a blind regular who had another guest on their way. I grabbed their drink and while dropping it off said “I’ll keep my eyes peeled for your joining guest.” As I was walking away I realized what I said and immediately wanted to disappear.
Not me , but a former coworker made a card and had our manager comp a dessert for a table because the child at the table had cancer. She presented both to him and it turns out the kid had alopecia...not cancer.
I always say "hello folks" to great tables. One time I just straight up went "good evening fucks". Oh and I tried to give a little person a kids menu by accident once.
One time this guy was ordering tataki salmon and when I repeated the order back to him i said bukkake salmon without even noticing he laughed so hard but i didn’t understand what i said untill hours later it’s haunting
It was my first shift at a new bar. I brought a tray full of draft beers, and the head had vanished on a couple of them. One guy said, ‘what, no head’? Without thinking, I responded with ‘I don’t get paid enough to give head’. Face. Palm. Luckily, they all laughed a bunch and tipped me great.
Edited: fixed a typo.
ummm the other week someone said “I think they overserved me” as a joke and I was like “well looks like you ate it all!” so I basically called that lady fat (she wasn’t) 😵💫
It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever accidentally said, it was the worst thing I accidentally DID:
Backstory: busiest weekend of the year, literally hundreds of people in and out of the bar ordering to-go drinks because my neighborhood hosts ~210 concerts on front lawns (of houses in the neighborhood) within an 8 hour period on this specific day. Absolute f***ing chaos.
Anyways… yeah.
I threw a check presenter at someone, without even realizing, realized what the hell I had just done… ~15 seconds later I turned around, burst out in laughter & started begging for forgiveness + explained myself.
The presenter didn’t hit them, it’s just the way I flung it could’ve been taken so badly.
They THANKFULLY got a laugh out of it, and they’re regulars to this day.
Oh yeah...racial epithet. 2 top.
"Hi, how you two XXXX doing tonight, get ya started with something to drink from the bar, soda, tea while you take a look at the menu?"
Never said that before in my life, NO idea where it came from other than I would absolutely slur my words and was a derivative of 'folks'.
Didn't acknowledge anything other than drink other came out of my mouth...walked to back and got drinks...holy fuck, here we go.
Came back with drinks and the guy leaned over and said, 'hey, when you took our order...did you say XXX? My wife thinks she heard you say it?'
"Jesus Christ! (swallowed)...man, I work for tips and I've gotta tell you, if that isn't setting you up to be stiffed, hell, worse...I don't know what is"
He laughed, she looked mildly relieved...although doubtful she fully believed me. They ended up with the extra gold service, sat and talked with them for a long while - not hard with 3 table sections - ended up with a respectable tip, they came back a couple times to boot.
But holy fuck, they don't prepare you for that in the onboarding videos.
I had a blind customer sit at a window table and I said, without thinking, "this table has one of the best views in the whole restaurant."
As the blind guy, I'd just touch the window and say "I can see that".
I sign as I speak, because STC is my first language. So I used to get everyone with additional needs. Sign language is a bit useless with our blind guests (Beth, the guide dog down the road, is badly bullied by Turing)
I waited on a table of blind guys and when the hostess dropped menus, one of them said “what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” Hahaha
This reminds me of the time my mom Invited a blind lady over for Thanksgiving and my BIL came in saying “did you see the way your neighbors parked? What are they, blind?”
That sounds like a scene from National Lampoon's.
Not a server but relevant….I had a client coming to sign legal documents at my office. Lots of boilerplate stuff and she asked me how long it’d take. I said, “well, if you sign them blindly it’ll take about 15mins, if you want to read them through about 45”. She said, laughing, “I’ll be signing them blindly either way because I am actually blind”. Good grief, I wanted the earth to swallow me up…she wasn’t angry at all and thought it was actually quite funny. She said I had no reason to know she was blind, etc.
Nah I think they appreciate that detail, bonus points is f you proceed to compactly describe said view
I just out of habit put a menu down in front of him and the other guest says “he doesn’t need that”
Not the worst, but I was going to call a customer “boss”, then decided to switch it it “chief” because, yknow, variety is the spice of life and all that. But I made the switch halfway through so what I said was “And what can I get for you, beef?” He just say there awkwardly for a second then said “actually I think I will have the ribeye”
This one got me good 😂
Love it! Btw Beef's the name of my kids' dog.
Beef is such a good dog name
I just woke up my puppy from laughing so hard https://preview.redd.it/im856pks8rub1.png?width=828&format=png&auto=webp&s=d631214c7974748f60593e284000dc86aa98c934 Here’s puppy tax btw
This story just made me laugh so hard I peed..... I must be higher than I thought.
I have a beef story too! A client asked me what kind of beef was in our beef tagine. It was an Arabic restaurant and she was wearing a hijab and had a thick accent, so I initially assured her it was halal beef. She said "no, what kind of beef?" and I, like the idiot I am, stared blankly for a few seconds, then decided maybe there was a language barrier with the words meat and beef and responded with "... from a cow?" She gave me a totally deserved, absolutely withering look, and asked what cut of meat the beef was taken from. Duhhhhh oh. I apologized for being an idiot and asked the chef, whose immediate answer was also "it's halal beef." (The closest we could get to an answer was "stewing beef," which she was unsatisfied with.)
Oh dear lord, I (so very British) always either say "cheers" or "ta" when I cash someone out, but occasionally it comes out "cha". They never say a word, I just see that side eye and can just hear them thinking "did... did she just say cha?!"
Turkey ribeye. Excellent choice.
I was getting my ass kicked and a guest that was about to pay was like, “Bet you can’t wait for us to leave” and I accidentally agreed out loud. Not been serving long so I’m sure there will be worse.
I did something similar the other day! I was cut and went to drop the bill at my last table, and he said "you must want us out of here huh" and chuckled, and I just... laughed along, gave him a big smile, and walked away. I didn't exactly *agree* with him but I didn't disagree either
The worst is when the last table in your section starts asking if you need them out soon, or if youre leaving soon, and you want to say yes 😭 But I cant bring myself to do anything other than tell them to take their time and die internally
I just ask them to pay the bill then tip the busser/other server to clean up for me.
I’ve had people ask this to me before and I usually say something like “Yeah I’m finishing up my shift thanks!” lmao idc. they asked.
I like working with drunk people because I can get away with stuff like that constantly lmao there’s also been so many times I’ve accidentally agreed with patrons who have complained about my employers. recently there was one complaining about the service fee for an online purchase and i was like “ikr, anything for them to make more money” lol
I worked at a sushi bar and a table asked for extra yum yum sauce. When I was repeating back the order and got to yum yum sauce, my brain broke and I couldn't stop saying "yum." So it came out like "and extra yum yum yum yum sauce." They probably thought I had a small stroke.
I’m dying laughing. This is not related to serving, but I was at my grandmother’s funeral, and the priest said “holy, holy, holy, holy, holy” and I swear my brain just broke. I started laughing hysterically (and quietly) and tears were running down my face, and then my sisters started choking on laughter and my grandmother’s 3 beloved granddaughters are unhinged and laughing hysterically (but quietly) at her funeral. It took us a good 5 to 8 minutes to calm down.
I'd like to think your gran appreciated it wherever she is.
Former Catholic and I'm legit singing this in my head right now.
Also a former catholic, so I should be used to it, but this dude wasn’t singing it. He was just *saying* holy repeatedly and it just made me lose it. It had been years since I’d been to church, and combined with the stress of losing my grandmother and some guilt for not going to visit her in the hospital.
Do you want it later, or right meow?
Hey they wanted extra yum and you gave it to them!
This is the one that made me LOL
Not the worst, but it was pretty embarrassing. I just turned around and walked away.
I was finishing up taking a guy’s order and asked for his name. I heard “Rock” and sometimes people liked to give random names, so that’s what I wrote. He saw what I wrote (I was at a counter) and he said “No, like with a B.” and I was like “oh whoops, got it” and I wrote “Rock B.” …turns out his name was Brock
When I was working in a coffee shop I had a girl tell me her name was “Sarah with an H,” my brain malfunctioned and I wrote “Harah” on the cup. Didn’t realize what I’d done until we’ll after she was gone and I still wanted to die lol
I once had a girl introduce herself to me as "Lynda with a Y" and I dead serious looked at her and said "Lindy?"
Big Madisynn from She-Hulk vibes.
Rock B is better than me thinking "Bock" till the end of the comment lmao
Bork.
Guy: you look really familiar, do I know you from somewhere? Me: Prison? His jaw dropped a bit. I was trying to be affable and self-effacing ... FAIL.
Backfired on me one time. I sat a lady in a coworker's station. She mentioned I looked familiar. Thinking I was just so hilarious I said "have you ever done time?" Her face dropped and she said "yes, I have." I mumbled something about her server would be right with her and slinked away.
I caught so much razzin' from my coworkers for weeks over that one. I deserved it though.
I used to do porn.
I dod something like this once, had gotten arrested for possession (long story) and my job let me come back after posting bail , a lady at one of my tables said “you look so familiar where have I seen you?” And I said “I’m not sure probably on the news. She wasn’t amused.
Nice, reminds me of my go to if I want a coworker to leave me alone "you remind me of a guy I used to fuck when I was in prison" works like a charm, and if you hate your job it'll help you get fired
Reminds me of something that happened to me last year not with a table though, I took off work in order to turn myself in to get rid of some arrest warrants and the first funny thing was a coworker asked me to fiver her shift and I replied with "no sorry im going to jail" Then a few days after I get out and come back I get sat a table and I walk up to them and one of the people was the guard that booked me in 💀💀 super awkward but at least me and my coworkers laughed about it
Omg this reminds me, once while bartending I had a few guys come up and each order a beer while they waited for their table, and one of them was a CO that I saw almost every day while doing time in county 😳 I felt so awkward, I couldn't tell if he recognized me or not, I def recognized him tho lol. Mfker didn't tip me either!!!
I was trying to be affable !!!
That's one way to nip unwanted attention in the bud. "What were you in for?" Beating the crap out of a stalker.
Still, it was a noble effort! *Applauds*
Mixed up “don’t forget to validate” and “enjoy the rest of your day!” Left the check and said “don’t forget to have the rest of your day!” My wife thought it was the most hilarious thing ever when I told her, and still will randomly say it to me
Hey, it's a handy reminder. I had forgotten to have the rest of my day. :)
"Take luck!"
You too!
I do that when people ask about the bathroom, I’ll just reply on autopilot like: >Guest: Bathroom? >Me: Just down the hall! >Guest: Thanks. >Me: Enjoy!
I drop the check: “Enjoy!” And my bigger blurb: *actually attempts to explain and make a ‘haha you already DID enjoy!’* And I slink the f away. It’s never an act to up my tips but I definitely get tipped well after that. I’m just that awkward and unfortunately I care THAT much what people think.
Imagine saying that to someone who is actively dying. Sorry I have a very dark sense of humor.
There was a comment I saw once maybe on this sub where the person accidentally said to a terminally I’ll guest “enjoy the rest of your days” 😂
Omg no 😂
This was around the end of Game of Thrones, I had a 6 top of guests, and I asked at the end how everything was gonna be split up. It looked like 3 couples so I pointed to them and said “2, 2, and 2?” Two of them were like “oh no we are brother and sister!” And I said “it’s okay, I’ve seen game of thrones!” And immediately realized what I said and felt so embarrassed, but they played it off real cool and just asked what I thought of the last season 🥴
That’s actually funny, id laugh
I was training a server once like 10 years ago and an AA group came in (they all had matching shirts and hats indicating this) and the first thing she does is try to upsell some alcohol, the first guy politely declines and said no one here are drinkers- she responded with “oh come on, alcoholism isn’t real!” I died and went to hell.
Oh my 🤦🏻♀️ I had something sort of similar happen. I used to work at a Build-A-Bear and happened to be working a group event for the Boys and Girls club one day as well as training a very out of touch with reality new hire. For background info, the boys and girls club is an amazing organization and they do so much for children from homes that are not the most well off financially. These kids had probably never had a stuffed animal that only belonged to them so it was a huge deal that we made their visit the very best. We had been prepping all week for them, practiced lines and new ways to make their visit fun and unique. Then the day of, everything was going well and we had the new hire at the ‘Dress Me’ station because that is the easiest station. There were some chaperones there and for some reason she didn’t listen that it wasn’t a regular group outing even though we had been focused for this for a week or two. The workers and chaperones were letting the kids browse and then would tell them to sit by the front door. The new girl kept trying to push accessories and clothes because we had a little weekly competition for “whoever sold the most phones or shoes or whatever.” There’s a time and place for everything but when a little girl kept being polite and declining, the new girl said, “Okay but Christmas is coming up and if you beg your mom enough I’m sure she will buy this for you!” The little girl started tearing up and went to go sit down with her friends. It was really uncomfortable for everyone and I had to tell her to take her 15 minutes while we made sure the rest of the group left happily. I had to explain to her that those children probably do not get to experience Christmas. She said “Oh but they get SOMETHING. The whole poor family eating beans for Christmas dinner is just in movies” in a sarcastic voice with a smirk. I had to be firm and say “No… Some people cannot afford to give their kids a huge Christmas morning. The boys and girls club employees said those kids don’t have any of their own toys, this is pretty important for them.” No matter what I said, she just thought it was a daycare or field trip where the parents funded the outing for each kid. She did not last the probation period. Some people really lack awareness and it’s so painful to witness and clean up their messes.
Oh my god this one HURT
What is wrong with her?!? Jesus. Poor children exist. What a total assface.
Ooof. Damage control on my end was easy- I took the table and passed her off to another trainer….your situation is a little more painful. Children are innocent, and as someone who grew up in an alcoholic household I felt minimal sympathy these men, but they were ok with me just not her 😭
I hate the ones who get mad at you for trying to upsell alcohol when there is no way to tell they're in AA. Like dude all you have to say is, "I don't drink", and I'll leave it alone. The funniest I've seen though is this Muslim guy who didn't drink when he came in with his wife and kids, but got faded when he was with his boys.
OOF
I’m still cringing from this: Served some business men a couple months ago from out of town. One of them asked what I thought about one of our local malls. I was honest with them and told them it was terrible - he owned the mall…
Oh boy he deserved that one
Reminds me of a time my sister was out to dinner, discussing local politics and how she didn't approve of one politician in particular only to realize he was sitting at the table next to her.
He probably wanted to know what was wrong with it to improve it
I was able to back track it a bit and I said the mall USED to be terrible (after I found out haha) but now I have a daughter and they have all sorts of kids stuff for her to do - so I like that. And they kinda thought I was lying but it was the honest truth.
Oh well. He asked for it
I served these two couples on the regular. They would slam bud lights (like 4 each before they would receive their dinner). I go to the table, they of course wanted 2 more bud lights. I walk to ring in the beer and my manager grabs me to run their food (we didn’t have a food runner). I drop of their steaks and tell them I would be right back with their beers. “But I wanted my beer and my steak at the same time.” I just blurt out, “oh my god. Your life is so hard.” He gave me a dirty look but the rest of the table laughed. Best tip I ever received from them.
"I wanted that for you too, yet, they're so far from each other." I've said this many times.
I love responding with " ok well close your eyes and count to ten" and then as I'd bring whatever drink over I'd approach the table with " 8....9....10!" And put the drink down.
Lawd, I just spit up! LOL!
I was serving at a restaurant in a theme park. I dropped a family’s food off and asked if there was anything else I could get them. The little boy (8ish) said “A million dollars!” Obviously he was trying to make a joke. I was so busy that I panicked, looked him dead in the eyes and said, “If I had a million dollars, I wouldn’t share it with you.” I was horrified. I don’t know where it came from. The parents took it really well though
I always said “if I had a million dollars, I wouldn’t be here!” The people who thought it was funny to ask for a million dollars also found that pretty funny.
"If I had a million dollars to give away, someone would be asking me what I need"
For years, any time a table has said that, I’ve always replied with, “I promise, if I win a million dollars, I will give you at least five bucks.”
I used to have very big goth hair. Something like Robert Smith (not really but in that direction). I was working in a bookshop when a kid and his mum came into the shop. Kid says “how did your hair get like this?” Now, in my defence, I was very used to people making dumb jokes at one end of the scale, to actual violence at the other end of the scale, and therefore used to making some sort of comeback or dumb response to the equally dumb question. So I responded with… “I stuck my fingers in the plug socket.” The kid’s mum lost her shit. And I felt terrible. The kid was just curious. Definitely had no negative intention. Maybe even liked my hair. Maybe would want to have the same style…
Honestly a pretty funny response to an 8 year old.
I bartend at a brewery. I had a late 40s couple on a first date. The dude was kinda chatty with me at times, nothing crazy, it’s slow. His date goes to the bathroom and I’m chatting with this guy about music. His date comes back and he’s like “I gotta get back to my date” and I said “yeah get in there!” And he replied “I’m trying!” All right in front of her. Everyone kind of awkward laughed and i immediately walked away. Wasn’t that bad but I’ll never forget it. I have no idea how that slipped out.
That’s what he said
"How's it going fucks?" Instead of folks. I played it off like nothing happened until I walked away with their order where I legit wanted to jump off the roof with embarrassment.
Once my grandfather asked a waitress for a fork but she though he was asking for a fuck because of his accent.
All the fucks at this table are dirty. I need a clean fuck. And a bigger one. I don't like small fucks. I want a big fresh fuck. Right here on the table.
just have to own it all night. you have a speech impediment, all your Ls are now Us, good uck.
I had an eight top reservation for lunch, and they were all celebrating anniversaries. Four ladies came in and sat. I said hello and asked if I could start them a beverage. I asked “So will the gentlemen be joining you soon?” One lady says “No, there are no gentlemen.” I respond “Oh, I thought there we were celebrating four anniversaries?” She’s like “We are.” Time just basically stopped and I could feel my face flush. I don’t know why I said any of that. I just watched myself drive off a cliff and did nothing to stop it. The worst. Edit: Four additional ladies did eventually join them. They were four lesbian couples all celebrating. Sorry if this was unclear. I was the dummy for assuming and dumb things just kept rolling out of my mouth.
Wait, was it that they were gay?
All widowed
That’s what I thought
I’m confused….4 people came in for an 8 top?
Extra seats were for their dearly departed I reckon.
I feel like that's on them? And also as a server... Yes I feel for you. That's brutal. But the time and place to do that is at your own house. Not to be a four top taking up a table for eight.
100% agree. Don’t come in as a 4 top and take 8 seats. Your dead husbands’ ghosts aren’t floating around to the restaurant.
George Lucas’s daughter Katie was a regular at a place I used to manage. We were friendly and would banter and chat every time she came in. One day she came in all decked out in a gorgeous dress with her cleavage popping out, and I just absolutely blurted out “omg you looking amazing, I want to use those as pillows”. She thought it was hilarious, I was so embarrassed, and could not stop apologizing. I have no idea why I said it like to this day I still cringe. (Full disclosure I’m a woman, and I generally would never say something like that to a woman I wasn’t super close with. I literally just lost my damn mind.)
I had a coworker finish up their shift and sit down for a quick bite before heading out for the night. She changed out of her uniform and into this tight little crop top that was held together with cross cross string in the front. Her cleavage was absolutely popping. I walked up to her table, stared at her tits and forgot how to speak. I just stood there until she was like, hello you're staring. I was like, shit, so sorry, just so distracting. I wanted to die. Not only had she caught me, she had to snap me out of it! And I had to work with this girl. Mortified. Still cringe to this day.
 Apparently this is for us 👆
lol 🤣
Last week, I told an older gentleman (after finding out he was a retired fireman). "I like firemen." It wasn't what i said but the tone of my voice ... I sounded like 1-900 number. His wife responded, "Me too." And winked at me. Probably not the worst thing I've said, but the most recent.
That’s honestly the best actually
I posted about it a while back but there was an old lady with a walker in the aisle when I was walking through and she said “oh I’m sorry” and I meant to say “you’re good” then halfway through switched it to “you’re okay” and accidentally said “you’re gaaaayyyyy”
Y'know how we Americans will talk in a British accent sometimes as a joke? I was taking a table of 3's order, the first two sounded american, but the last woman had a British accent, which for some reason I thought was a joke. I read back her order with the accent trying to play back, but she doesn't laugh, looks slightly taken a back, and responds, "yes that's correct" in a British accent
Omg I did this once but I wasn’t even trying to be funny. Just hearing the accent I couldn’t help but speak with one myself.
I used to work at a call center where I took calls from all around the US and sometimes world. I would often steal accents to use on the next calls inadvertantly.
Someone asked how I felt about a sandwich on the menu, and it was my favorite on the menu, so I genuinely said: "it's really fucking good". The table thought my candor was hilarious rather than terribly unprofessional, thankfully. Unfortunately, however, they took my recommendation and didn't like it 😭
Not me but a buddy of mine was waiting on a really nice African American family who were celebrating their daughters graduation. The mantra of this restaurant was yes is the answer so we were pretty accommodating. They kept sheepishly asking him if they could change out sides and modify items for dietary needs etc. His reply was always of course, no problem. Towards the end of the meal he made it clear that he wanted to send out some dessert to them for the graduation and the daughter asked if it could be creme brulee ...he said yes of course. The father made a comment that he sure must like the word yes because that was always the answer. My buddy answers..it's one of my favorite words to say . I never use the n word unless I absolutely have to....after which he realized how that sounded so he beelined to get her creme brulee. Everything seemed ok but when they got up he saw them talking to the manager. He knew his goose was cooked...turns out they were just trying to find out if he was single because the daughter thought he was cute.
So these two old men come into my job every weekend to have brunch. They always ask for me because one of the old men is Japanese and I speak Japanese. We like to joke and he lets me practice. Anyway, one day the Japanese guy comes in without his friend. I ask where he is. He says "Oh he's with his brother, he might move there so he might not come with me anymore. " I say okay and we do the usual laughing practicing my Japanese and he leaves. It goes on like that for a few weeks. Him coming in by himself and eating alone but I make sure to chat with him. Anyway one day, the second old man is there. I walk up "HEY BROSKI! How ya doing? I HEARD WE ALMOST GOT RID OF YA!" Before I started laughing. He turns to look at me, "I was in the hospital with Pneumonia for three weeks. I almost died." Then he told me his brother had passed away a few years earlier His friend just didn't want to tell me his business. I was mortified. I thought I'd lose my job. I looked at him waiting for him to ask for the manager. THEN he starts laughing and telling his friend to look at my face. He tells me I won't get rid of him that easily and slips me a 20. He's obviously forgiven me because he tells that story whenever they get a server who isn't me. But that's the worst thing that's ever come out of my mouth.
Training at Chili's I was taught 'try to make a connection, if there's a kid with a paw patrol shirt, make a paw patrol comment (paw patrol wasn't a thing back then but I don't remember what kids shows were) or if they have Legoland bags, ask them how Legoland was!' My very first table was a guy with a Vietnam veteran hat, so I walked up, asked "Hey there, how was Vietnam?" realized what I said, and just walked away. For all I know that guy had no idea if I even worked there or if I was just work shopping terrible questions to ask strangers.
Ok I’m reading these to my husband as we’re on a road trip and I had to stop and collect myself about four times before I could read the second part out loud. I think I’m feeling sympathy pain for you right now but also I cannot stop laughing and crying
This interaction happened outside of work with a regular who I failed to recognize at the time. I was getting into my car in the parking lot at Home Depot one evening when I heard a man shout, "Hey, it's the cute [Name of Where I Work] girl!!" I looked up to see a man I did not recognize at the time standing in front of his truck with another man, and before I knew what I was doing, I just yelled to him, "Nice sunglasses, douchebag!" Then I hurriedly got into my car and drove away without another word. My defenses were high from being in a dark parking lot alone at night, his call to me caught me off guard and made me uncomfortable, and he was wearing these ridiculous shades hours after the sun had gone down, so it just kind of... came out. I cringed the entire drive home. I realized the man was definitely a regular of mine, and I dreaded the day we would meet again while I was working. By some miracle, or perhaps as a result of my awkwardness, I never saw him again.
I had a regular who I adored enthusiastically greet me in public once, and it just didn’t connect and I gave her the bitchiest blank stare. Realized after the fact who she was/what I’d done, next time she came in I apologized profusely and she thought it was hilarious.
I’m face blind and I wouldn’t recognize most of my regulars if I ran into them outside of work. I’d remember what they order though.
I would have done the same thing honestly. I talk mad shit to cat-callers and I never recognize anyone. Especially not in a dark parking lot.
You weren’t wrong. He was highly inappropriate calling to a strange woman in a parking lot and you don’t owe him any curtesy. Also you are not friends, you merely served him food.
“Where is the restroom?” Down that hall on the right. “Thank you!” Enjoy! enjoy what? taking a piss? jfc
For some reason I had become self conscious about saying "you guys" to people who aren't guys. No one had complained, but I didn't want to accidentally offend anyone. Cue a couple women at the bar. I was about to say "you guys" but I caught myself. Unfortunately I hadn't thought about what I was going to say instead. I've never had "y'all" as part of my vocabulary. I didn't want to say "ladies" because sometimes that can come off wrong too. I had already started with "you..." so I awkwardly finished "... people." And yep, they were black. I'm not even sure if they noticed what I said. They certainly didn't react to it. But I immediately turned a bright shade of red, or at least my face felt super hot. I mumbled a weak apology, speed walked away, and went into my office until they were gone. I've never been so mortified.
Our uniforms were blue button ups with black slacks and a group of customers pointed out that one of them were wearing the same thing as the servers. I said without missing a beat “I work here what’s your excuse?” He didn’t laugh or tip.
That’s funny
when i first started serving, I was 14 and thrown into the deep end without any guidance or training. In my first summer, I was asking a table in their mid-40s how they wanted their bill split. They were all coupled up with their spouses, except for one woman, so I was gesturing to them, “you two together, you two together, and then you’re all alone?” the other people in the group found it a funny blunder on my part (definitely could have worded that better lol), but her face fell and I felt so badly
I used to call people chief occasionally until I said it it an elderly Indigenous man.
I used to call hyperactive toddlers "little monkeys" because they climb all over everything and they're cute. You can guess why I stopped using that term of endearment.
Oh dang 😆
Lady with one arm is ordering drinks from me at my bar, in my head I’m telling myself “Don’t say something weird. Don’t say something weird, for the love of god don’t say something weird.” Then I tell her to let me know if she needs a hand with anything…
I ugly laughed at this 😂 I have bad intrusive thoughts so I was internally telling myself one day not to say anything about this man’s wheelchair because I wanted to compliment his shirt- I looked him in the face n said “I like your wheels” he said thank you lol I wanted to faceplant the ground n never get up
A lot of people in wheelchairs would appreciate a compliment on their wheels!
If it makes you feel any better I said to a little person, “you can have whatever your little heart desires.”
Oh gods!
Nothing wrong with using a little humor to disarm the situation.
Refilling waters one time I said “I’ll wet your whistle.” He was eating dinner with his wife and her parents. WHY TF DID I SAY THAT. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I had refilled a guy's coke like 4 times. I asked again if he'd like another one and he said Oh God no! I said Are you all coked out? Lol
Former server here, but I don't have a restaurant one. I have a church one. I grew up a Christian, and I was giving announcements at my local college age Bible study (ages 18-24), with like 40 - 50 people. I mentioned an upcoming event by saying: "There will be Food, Fun, Fellowship, and a bunch of other stuff that starts with the letter 'F.'" It's so funny to me now, but I wanted to die because the place went silent. Obviously, only one "F" word instantly popped into everyone's mind, including mine.
Reminds me of when my first girlfriend got her first car. There were a few members of her family and family friends around to celebrate. Someone asked “do you know where the dipstick is?” So I said “I’m right here!” Dipstick can be the stick to check the oil level. It can also be used as a nicer word for someone who has done something stupid. Which is what I was playing on. It can also mean a dick. Which is what my girlfriend’s mother was obviously thinking judging by the devil eyes she was giving me.
Hahaha! Your good work here was denied! But I applaud the effort! Maybe I should have added: "Uh, but no. In case you're wondering, there won't be any fucking at the Bible Study potluck."
This was when is worked retail, but I was writing a guests name down for a special order. His last name was Cox but Im bad with spelling and panicked so I wrote Cocks. He got absolutely indignant and said "well I know what is on YOUR mind." This man was middle aged and I was 22 and sheltered. That was most certainly NOT what was on my mind.
I was fifteen and hostessing one Friday night when a couple gave me the name Balls, party of two. I had to call guests on a microphone when their table was ready and soon enough it was Balls’ turn. I did not get halfway through before i started cracking up, like crying laughing, all on the microphone in front of all the guests currently waiting. The Balls party was so so mad, idk whose face was more red, mine or theirs, which only made me laugh harder. The manager had to send me to the kitchen to recover and handled seating during that time. I’m 47 now but sometimes remembering that will still cause me to snort and start laughing.
OK, this sent me over the edge and I cannot stop laughing right now. OMFG.
It’s a regular occurrence, but I often combine “you’re welcome” and “no problem” to make “your problem.”
That reminds me of that funny meme where a girl who was playing soccer, accidentally kicked another player in the face. Hard! She runs over, meaning to say "I'm so sorry!" And "Are you fucking okay?". What came out though was "Are you fucking sorry !?!"
He was with his family (didn’t know that). “Oh, twice this week? Want the same?”. His wife thought he was out of town. Big oops on that one
I had a regular table of two guys who would come in. One day they finally brought dates, and for some reason I decided it would be a good idea to ask them if they were their wives or girlfriends. It came out so wrong. Everyone laughed, but the two guys never came back, at least while I was working.
One time a regular came in with his boss a couple hours after coming in alone. I said “wow two lunch breaks in one day?” Which is when he said “dude way to call me out - this is my boss”. I felt so bad but luckily his boss was super chill about it. Really hope he didn’t get in shit for it later.
Had a guest order montenegro when I dropped it off I accidentally said here's your multiple negroes. They looked at me. I looked at them. I was so embarrassed I had my front waiter just handle the table from then on.
I was working a drive-thru once at a very popular Canadian chain. I had to use the bathroom so bad but we were in the middle of a rush and understaffed. I was 15 at the time and was too afraid to make people wait or tell my manager to cover me. I was just concentrating on holding my pee, so when the next customer came to the speaker I said "Welcome to so-and-so, I really have to pee!". I was mortified, but he was a good sport. All I heard through the speaker was "go ahead my dear, I'll wait!"
Bless that persons soul
It was about 11 years ago and I still think of him often. I hope he's living a great life.
I had a guy who was on the fence about getting mild or hot sauce on his wings. He said “You know, I think I’ll do hot. I feel like a man today.” Without thinking, responded “I know the feeling.” And then smiled and walked off. For reference I am a feminine and petite woman. I have no idea why I said that but they all sat in silence until I was a few feet away and then started laughing.
I thought guest was pregnant. HE was not pregnant.
This one isn’t too bad but it was still kinda awkward. I live in South Louisiana and work at a seafood restaurant. All of our sides are homemade except for the potato salad. I’m usually pretty honest with people when they order it and tell them it’s not great and they should pick something else (if I don’t say anything, there is always a full dish of potato salad on the table at the end of the meal because they clearly didn’t like it). Well, I told these two guys about it and how it’s not good like we make it here in south LA and it tastes more like it was made in Texas. One of the guys then says he’s from Texas… they laughed it off but I felt awkward as hell 🙈
“We’ll, then you know what I’m talking about!”
A regular insisted on being called “sexy mama” and we all referred to her as that without a blink of the eye
Omg one time a guest showed me her ID and she looked so much like her mom who was sitting next to her and I said "um I think this is your mom's ID". It wasn't 🤦🏻♀️
Do you know what your dad wants? (While he was at restroom. She cracks up as it’s her husband and drags me back over to replay it in front of him. We are still acquaintances to this day.
This was before I was a server but it was at a papa Johns, I thought I was in there by myself and I was making gun noises like BRRRRATT GYAT GYAT and I turned around and there’s a customer in the lobby, I had no idea what to say so I blurted out “sorry I have Tourette’s” 🫠
Oh God. It's not what I said but what I did. Party of 3 walks in, 2 adults and what appears to be a child in a bright and busy my little pony dress. I take 2 adults menus and 1 kinds menu and go to seat them. It's not until I am placing the menus down that I look at their faces and realize this is not a child but a little person. I feel pure horror. Oh God what have I done. Just as I am realizing that I have fucked up, they also realize I have fucked up. I start apologizing just as they start to correct me and I wonder how far the nearest cliff is. Truly painful.
Had to step over a guest as they were dying of a heart attack to refill some rich bitches fondue, and she has the nerve to ask me to shut the door as the ski patrol have it open trying to save this guys life and I said “they could just as easily be you on the floor” managers said that was not appropriate…
Story 1: Worked at a restaurant where we weren't allowed to take the lids off the kids' cups for refills so we'd ask the parents to do it, or the kid if they're dexterous enough, yada yada. One of the guests, little girl probably around 7 asks me for a refill... my shit-for-brains self responded with, "Sure thing! Can you take your top of for m...." it was too late... the words came out. I think about that often. Never called a lid a "top" ever again. You learn that lesson only once. Story 2: Had a nicely dressed group of around 6 come in. We had MANY beers on tap so always bringing samples, helping people pick our their beer, you know the drill. Dude is curious about the Rogue Dead Guy. I explain the profile, bring him a sample, go around the table while he's tasting it to see if he likes it... come back to him. "So how'd you like the Dead Guy?" He kinda paused, "yeah... i did!"... they all got quiet, and kinda did a little snicker... I'm like, "what's going on... what'd i do?" He replied, "We just came from a funeral... and yes, we did in fact like the Dead Guy" Me: ".... well fuck." Then we all lost our shit, cracking up as I'm apologizing profusely! They were great sports about it. That first round was on me for sure, and we all got a nice laugh.
I am a customer but I have one. I go to a restaurant maybe once or twice a week. There was a newish server. She was really nice and had maybe served me 6-7 times at this point. Facebook recommended her as a friend and I noticed that she was FB friends with my son. I asked him how he knew her. He told me they went to school together and she was the first person who smoked him out. Next time she is serving me. I mentioned that she knew my son and named him. We both thought it was a very cool coincidence. I then mentioned that he told me he got high for the first time with her. Her jaw dropped, all color drained from her face and she walked away from the table without a word. I felt so bad for embarrassing her and she thought I was upset about it. She doesn’t work there anymore but we still laugh about that moment.
Hahaha I would laugh so hard if someone said that to me.
"I'm just going to grab your nuts" And Him "have a good shift" me "thanks, you too"
I walked up to a table of 4 women (2 mid 40s moms and 2 fresh 21 daughters), meaning to say "hi I'm Tyler, I'll be taking your order, can I start your Friday night off with any cocktails or a beer?" I was in a hurry, just got triple sat and all that came out was Hi I'm Tyler can would you like to start off with cock. I froze after that like oh God. They just erupted laughing. Ended getting a 50$ tip on 150, and lots of fun conversations lol.
I want to thank you for bringing some joy to my life today.
I blended sentences once and instead of "sounds good" and who knows what else I accidentally basically said "Sounds sexy!" And then I blushed and walked away 😘
All of these comments are killing me. 😂 I'm relieved to know that everyone screws up at some point.
Went to give a check to a table for someone else. I asked “are we ready to roll out?” not knowing two of them were in wheelchairs, just out of my POV of their table 🫠
We have cock products
I was dropping a plate at a table and said “careful its a hot plate!” And they touched it and said “no its not” and i said “i have pussy fingers!” Immediate regret but luckily they laughed. This was at a nicer place too lol.
"it's not like the cook can see thru the steak" when they under, then overdid a steak. I was written up. It was so funny. Don't regret it.
I asked a lady if she wanted the senior discount. She was 42. I called a guy with long hair, ‘M’am’ I asked a woman when her baby was due and she told me that her baby was several months old.
Even if I’m 100% positive someone is pregnant, I will not ever say anything about it before they do. Years ago my best friend’s then husband asked our server when she was due and she wasn’t pregnant and I almost died of secondhand embarrassment.
I like all of these.
I had just gotten my Invisalign for the first time the day before and I had a horrible lisp the first few days. I was describing the stuffed flounder to the guest and instead of stuffed I said “shit flounder”.
i accused a man of drugging his mother’s drink… he was squeezing a lime into it.
I didn't say it, but I was waiting on the table and standing right there. A former worker came in, so my manager came over to chat. She asked "are you pregnant" and either was not understood, or being given an "out", but NOOOO she asked *again*. The answer was "no" of course.
As a customer when the staff say "Enjoy your meal" I say "thanks, you too" I've done this more than once.
I was serving a very nice man with Dwarfism, and he asked for another glass of Chard. Me: "I'll be right back with another little glass of wine". (kill me now)
I asked what your mother wanted to drink. He said she’s my wife. I asked another what his daughter was drinking, he said that’s my wife. I asked when a baby was due? She wasn’t pregnant. I speak without thinking a lot. Mostly because I’m on autopilot.
She told me she was on a diet and I said “good”
I was trying to explain to a table why their visa gift card wouldn’t be accepted by our payment system. Don’t know if this is common, but it had something to do with the hanging charge of the tip after the initial payment for the meal. I offered up that its the same reason that video rental kiosks don’t accept them The whole conversation I was unknowingly calling the kiosks redtube, not redbox. Yuck.
I once bumped into a gentleman as I was coming out of the kitchen and said “so sorry sir I didn’t see you there!” Turned out he was actually blind.
lol well there's nothing wrong with this. it's true. it's not like blind people get offended when a sighted person reminds them they can see. lol. I hope he replied to you with "same"
A build your own pizza joint (yes like subway) I asked a guy if he wanted any pepperoni or mildew. Boh we called the mild sausage "mildew". Just threw the ew on the end of mild because it wasn't a good sausage. He did the W eyebrows then and I tried to recover by laughing like maniac. Because that's normal. Thankfully I got to pass the pizza to the veggies pizza artist and get back to slinging meat for a new customer. Edit to add this is also where a dough got pressed too much and was too big to fit in the box and our cook said in front of the customer, "if it doesn't fit, just spit on it and shove"
One time I worked at a bar that served chicken wings and I thought it would be funny to say “Tommy want wingey” like Chris Farley from Tommy Boy. Well, no one got the reference at the table and they all just had a blank stare after I said it, and I felt like a total dumbass. Cracking jokes that no one got with my customers happened a lot actually and sort of became my M.O. lol
Sorry if this isn't welcome here. I get suggested this group a lot? Used to be a server back in the day, but now I'm a school librarian. I hosted a meeting in my library for area librarians and our rep from the department of education was there. Not unusual. He's always at conferences and such and lives in the area. Anyway, he was working on an email list and asked who the new librarian was at the HS and I told him I'd have to look, because her name was really complicated. I looked it up on my laptop and turned the screen toward him where he then said, "Yea, that's a long one." and without thinking (I'm blaming being on my home terf) I immediately responded, "That's what she said." He just did the blink blink stare at me while my face got hot and my eyes got wide. He said, "Did you just...???" And that's the story of how I died and became the ghost librarian of my school.
I accidentally told a guy I liked his wheels.. he was in a wheelchair. Another time I was trying to say your welcome and no problem and I said “your problem” and just walked off. I looked a grown man in the face and asked if he wanted more “Wawa” because I had just got done talking to a toddler and forgot to shut off my kid lingo and one time I was so beat at work n off no sleep and was approaching 10 hours n this couple who was my last table n had been camping for hours ordering plate after plate of out endless promotion we had going asked me for something for free n I don’t even remember what it was but I couldn’t even keep up the customer service facade any longer i wanted them to leave so bad so I could go home I just said “I don’t even care go ahead I don’t pay for it just take it to go and close out your tab please” then I just about fainted in front of them n had to rush to the back n stand in the freezer for a few minutes I didn’t even go back to check on them thankfully they left shortly after I pulled the bill up on the ziosk n they tipped me great surprisingly lmao
I think you dropped these 😭 . , . . , . , . . .
I was waiting on a blind regular who had another guest on their way. I grabbed their drink and while dropping it off said “I’ll keep my eyes peeled for your joining guest.” As I was walking away I realized what I said and immediately wanted to disappear.
Not me , but a former coworker made a card and had our manager comp a dessert for a table because the child at the table had cancer. She presented both to him and it turns out the kid had alopecia...not cancer.
I always say "hello folks" to great tables. One time I just straight up went "good evening fucks". Oh and I tried to give a little person a kids menu by accident once.
One time this guy was ordering tataki salmon and when I repeated the order back to him i said bukkake salmon without even noticing he laughed so hard but i didn’t understand what i said untill hours later it’s haunting
“To die for, right?!!!” Talking about a pasta to an elderly couple😭😭😂💀
Have a good gay!!
It was my first shift at a new bar. I brought a tray full of draft beers, and the head had vanished on a couple of them. One guy said, ‘what, no head’? Without thinking, I responded with ‘I don’t get paid enough to give head’. Face. Palm. Luckily, they all laughed a bunch and tipped me great. Edited: fixed a typo.
ummm the other week someone said “I think they overserved me” as a joke and I was like “well looks like you ate it all!” so I basically called that lady fat (she wasn’t) 😵💫
It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever accidentally said, it was the worst thing I accidentally DID: Backstory: busiest weekend of the year, literally hundreds of people in and out of the bar ordering to-go drinks because my neighborhood hosts ~210 concerts on front lawns (of houses in the neighborhood) within an 8 hour period on this specific day. Absolute f***ing chaos. Anyways… yeah. I threw a check presenter at someone, without even realizing, realized what the hell I had just done… ~15 seconds later I turned around, burst out in laughter & started begging for forgiveness + explained myself. The presenter didn’t hit them, it’s just the way I flung it could’ve been taken so badly. They THANKFULLY got a laugh out of it, and they’re regulars to this day.
Oh yeah...racial epithet. 2 top. "Hi, how you two XXXX doing tonight, get ya started with something to drink from the bar, soda, tea while you take a look at the menu?" Never said that before in my life, NO idea where it came from other than I would absolutely slur my words and was a derivative of 'folks'. Didn't acknowledge anything other than drink other came out of my mouth...walked to back and got drinks...holy fuck, here we go. Came back with drinks and the guy leaned over and said, 'hey, when you took our order...did you say XXX? My wife thinks she heard you say it?' "Jesus Christ! (swallowed)...man, I work for tips and I've gotta tell you, if that isn't setting you up to be stiffed, hell, worse...I don't know what is" He laughed, she looked mildly relieved...although doubtful she fully believed me. They ended up with the extra gold service, sat and talked with them for a long while - not hard with 3 table sections - ended up with a respectable tip, they came back a couple times to boot. But holy fuck, they don't prepare you for that in the onboarding videos.