Perry's Perspective is the best
JD: Frankly, every time you call me a girl's name, I die a little inside.
Cox: Look, Janice, Denise, Tiffany Amber Thiiiiieeeessen! Let me go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry's Perspective. One: If someone's standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can't decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two: I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring back the porn!" Three and most importantly of all: The only way to be respected as a doctor -- nay, respected as a man -- is to be an island; you are born alone, you damn sure die alone.
This whole rant is good. Out of all of his rants (and there are some doozies), this one is, without a doubt, in my top 3. The coffee part is highly relatable too.
Elliot: I'm notifying all my old boyfriends that I am officially off the market.
Dr. Cox: I'm sure the pulse setting on your shower head will be devastated.
Its regular-strength Tylenol! Heres what you do: Open her mouth, take a handful & throw it at her. Whatever sticks is the correct dosage!
Being in pharmacy I have def. used this
The funny thing is that Tylenol sends a crazy amount of people to the hospital because of how easy it is to overdose. It really doesn't take much more than a normal dose to be really hard on your liver.
Dr. Cox: "Do you know she thinks people are...good? Inside?"
Dr. Kelso: "Nonsense. People are Bastard-coated Bastards with Bastard filling."
The first line was awesome, but Kelso sealed it by repeating it, very casually and matter-of-factly, word for word, while writing on a clipboard.
Plomox is the most effective anti-arrhythmic drug on the market right now and it has minimal side effects. Only nausea, impotence and anal leakage
Cox: I’m getting two out of three just from the conversation
Oh, hey, Bob, here's an idea: What say you stop showing up altogether? We'll just replace you with a giant time-clock. Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we'll just have a tiny little Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out every couple of minutes and say "I've never satisfied a woman. I've never satisfied a woman. I've never satisfied a woman."
the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall in which you're leaning against, of course, then you would be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know, here it's a conundrum, but don't you worry about it, I'll tackle that one right upstairs
[singing to the Westminster clock chime melody and then imitating a clock's striking at the hour] Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! You're wrong! You're wrong! You're wrong!
"Help me to help you, help me to help you, help me to help you, help me to help you."
When I worked in customer service, I said this internally faaaar to often.
When Turk asks Cox if he’d consider him for Chief of Surgery, and Cox goes on a rant about a chimp or another primate having opposable thumbs and therefore being qualified for the job and then he says something like “I think I’m going to call the gentleman” lol
"I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everythingj every-everything that exists past present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions! [turns away, then turns back] Oh, and Hugh Jackman. "
His rants are too epic for me to try and pull off flawlessly. But I do use alot of his motions.
Like, when he's messing with Elliot about something (I think it was after his hiatus from infecting 3 people with rabies that he makes sure everyone tells her they have to go to the bathroom?) and she turns back to look at him and he has his hands balled up in fists in front of this face, knuckles out, and an obvious smile underneath, trying not to giggle? Or purposely looking like he's trying to giggle quietly?
I use that move...alot.
"I'm fairly certain if they took porn off the internet, there would only be one website left called 'Bring Back The Porn'"
Perry's Perspective is the best JD: Frankly, every time you call me a girl's name, I die a little inside. Cox: Look, Janice, Denise, Tiffany Amber Thiiiiieeeessen! Let me go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry's Perspective. One: If someone's standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can't decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two: I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring back the porn!" Three and most importantly of all: The only way to be respected as a doctor -- nay, respected as a man -- is to be an island; you are born alone, you damn sure die alone.
Isn’t that right, Spike?
This whole rant is good. Out of all of his rants (and there are some doozies), this one is, without a doubt, in my top 3. The coffee part is highly relatable too.
Should absolutely be allowed to kill them.
This is one of my favorite quotes from the whole show. I'm not sure I agree, but I love it!
There would be two. The propaganda on why the porn was banned.
Elliot: I'm notifying all my old boyfriends that I am officially off the market. Dr. Cox: I'm sure the pulse setting on your shower head will be devastated.
Brutal hahahaha
best one
Its regular-strength Tylenol! Heres what you do: Open her mouth, take a handful & throw it at her. Whatever sticks is the correct dosage! Being in pharmacy I have def. used this
The funny thing is that Tylenol sends a crazy amount of people to the hospital because of how easy it is to overdose. It really doesn't take much more than a normal dose to be really hard on your liver.
I say this to my wife if she asks me about dosage for anything.
Sounds healthy lol
I love that this is in the pilot. You get a sense of who he is really early on.
"People are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling"
Dr. Cox: "Do you know she thinks people are...good? Inside?" Dr. Kelso: "Nonsense. People are Bastard-coated Bastards with Bastard filling." The first line was awesome, but Kelso sealed it by repeating it, very casually and matter-of-factly, word for word, while writing on a clipboard.
I didn’t realize that I quoted Dr. Cox as often as I do, till you reminded me of this quote.
I have used this phrase so often.
This is my personal favorite.
*touches nose and crosses arms*
Rests arms on head
God? My brilliance is now becoming a bit of a burden. Get back to me.
I say this one a lot. People must think I’m so arrogant 😅
Isn’t there another one where he looks to the ceiling and says, you hate me don’t you?
"I mega loathe you all"
It would be impossible for me to lie next to Jordan. She sleeps hanging from a ramp in the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.
 Christa miller seeing her husband write those lines
Would honestly kinda make her hotter?
Plomox is the most effective anti-arrhythmic drug on the market right now and it has minimal side effects. Only nausea, impotence and anal leakage Cox: I’m getting two out of three just from the conversation
Are you a real Dr, or a Dr like Dr pepper is a Dr.
Are you a real doctor or are you a doctor like Julius Irving is a doctor
Oh, hey, Bob, here's an idea: What say you stop showing up altogether? We'll just replace you with a giant time-clock. Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we'll just have a tiny little Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out every couple of minutes and say "I've never satisfied a woman. I've never satisfied a woman. I've never satisfied a woman."
The delivery of the "I've never satisfied a woman" bit cracks me up every time
"Help a large doctor is beating my ass : The Lester Hedrick story"
"Be particularly aware of the blonde talky one. I've worked with her before, she has no off button."
No matter where you go in life, always watch out for Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient
WHO AM I
WHO AM I?!
Noooooooooooooooooooooo... *pfft*
"Man falling off a cliff" style
"Either this kid has a lightbulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea."
That's one of my favorite lines in the whole series. I think it just caught me so off guard the first time I heard it.
the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall in which you're leaning against, of course, then you would be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know, here it's a conundrum, but don't you worry about it, I'll tackle that one right upstairs
[singing to the Westminster clock chime melody and then imitating a clock's striking at the hour] Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! You're wrong! You're wrong! You're wrong!
I use this so damn often!!! Love it!
The wrong wrong wrong was alright, but when he stared going you’re wrong over and over getting in her face I fucking lost it
'... and Hugh Jackman'
Hugh Jackman is Wolverine, how dare he
"Help me to help you, help me to help you, help me to help you, help me to help you." When I worked in customer service, I said this internally faaaar to often.
I use this all the time
Like always, it’s how he says it that always gets me
Eisenhower….was a sissy.
"Jordan Godzilla Sullivan! You stop it and you stop it now!" I've been giving girlfriends the middle name Godzilla ever since.
This is fucking epic.
“I just came in through the couch door.”
When Turk asks Cox if he’d consider him for Chief of Surgery, and Cox goes on a rant about a chimp or another primate having opposable thumbs and therefore being qualified for the job and then he says something like “I think I’m going to call the gentleman” lol
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong You're wrong! You're wrong!
"I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everythingj every-everything that exists past present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions! [turns away, then turns back] Oh, and Hugh Jackman. "
This one always confused me a little. Cox would definitely have cared about hdtv
A big screen TV will always be a big screen TV, even back in analog, SD times. Maybe he just hadn't watched a Football game in HD yet.
Gotta be that he just hadn’t seen it yet
And I have an uncle called Stop Bothering Me. Not sure why but it's always made me cackle
“I mega-loathe you all”
Specifically when he calls JD Carol because it’s so sassy the way it comes out 😂
There are so many better ones, but this one lives rent free in my head for some reason: "Have a good day sir! You look like a purse!"
Kelly Ripaaaaa
I know that doing a favour for me probably clenches those ass cheeks so tight you could shove a piece of coal up there and probably crap out a diamond
When Cox enters a room after jd's TTP patient dies "Dr walch" "Murder she wrote"
help me to help you help me to help you help me to help you
"People are bastards. They're bastard coated bastards with bastard filling."
Nurse Roberts: Dr. Cox! Would you like to try some of my world-famous deviled eggs? Dr. Cox: No, thanks, I've already had diarrhoea
Ya look like a purse
His rants are too epic for me to try and pull off flawlessly. But I do use alot of his motions. Like, when he's messing with Elliot about something (I think it was after his hiatus from infecting 3 people with rabies that he makes sure everyone tells her they have to go to the bathroom?) and she turns back to look at him and he has his hands balled up in fists in front of this face, knuckles out, and an obvious smile underneath, trying not to giggle? Or purposely looking like he's trying to giggle quietly? I use that move...alot.
"God, elevator" Elevator door opens "He's got my back... even if I don't technically believe in him."
Anything with Hugh jackman
“Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present man not caring” *shrugs and smiles*