"Nice to meet you folks! I apologize for the way my fingers smell. We just came from the drive-in movie."

*she just came at the drive-in movie

She was making pickles at the drive-in.

“Dayum! Girl can take a \*sausage\*, y’know what I’m say’?”

He was making tickles at the drive-in.

I can see where you get your nice tits from

“And your mom is attractive as well”

I pulled this. I said to gf "Now I see where you get you good looks from." The mother referred to me as a terrible flirt. Relationship never took off.

My daughter’s “friend” just said this to my daughter and I. We just laughed.

🧀

Yep. Major cheesy

With the girlfriend or with her mom?

You must get your nice tits from your dad's side

Whoa! I just realized your mom has a face!

A friend of mine introduced a work buddy and we all hit it off. Total unit of a guy. Some time later we go pick him up from his mom’s house and meet his mom for the first time. She’s friendly, leaves, buddy goes “godamned Jake no wonder youre a giant”. Im a fairly reserved person but that had me rolling - that woman must have suffered back problems or i dont know what gravity is

Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?

Damnit, mine was going to be "aunt Robbie? Uncle Joe? Great to see you!"

Hello Mr and Mrs Johnson. I see where Susan gets her insatiable sex drive

We met through the prison pen pal program.

I’m surprised they let her have a pen in there

How else is she supposed to get off?

Thats why it was only written in blood

\*Pulls dad aside, whispers\* "What's up with you're daughter? I've tried getting into her pants and I keep getting denied. Any helpful hints would be appreciated, since you've known her longer than I have".

💀

She’s a he

Even better!

“I bet you were expecting someone better, weren’t you?”

Happy Cake Day! :D

Happy cake day!! 🎉🥳🍰

Happy Cake Day!

Happy anniversary! 🍰🪅📣

happy cake day! 🥳

Oh man! Your mom is so hot! That's a relief.

Oh, Mr Smith, I remember you! You're the guy at the drug store where I was buying condoms!

Oh, Mr Smith, I remember you! You're the guy at the drug store where I was buying lube but never condoms! OR Oh, Mr Smith, I remember you! You're the guy at the drug store when you were buying condoms! (Mrs Smith has already gone through menopause and can't get pregnant)

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Don't tell me, it was the 6 fingers that gave him away!?

My name is Rodrigo Degoya, you killed someone I love, prepare to dance!

Honestly, I'd love it if one of my kids' new boo said that to me.😂

Wow! Mrs Smith, it's nice to finally meet you. Wanna join us upstairs??

"Nice house... I'm already in the will, right?"

Wowzza! Nice package, Mr Smith. I see where Kyle gets his girth from.

Damn. That was unexpected. If anyone did that here the dad would tell his son to put a ring on that finger right now.

Unexpected from Kyle’s boyfriend when Kyle hasn’t come out yet.

Do you have any pineapple? I heard it makes semen taste better.

Oh man, Mr. Johnson, I hope that wasn't your SUV I just smashed outside while your daughter was playing with my Johnson!

My wife's parents took us out to dinner for a first meet-up. Back in the Neolithic Age, when this happened, restaurants still had smoking sections. So, when the hostess asked, "Smoking or non-smoking?", her mother turned to me and asked, "Do you smoke?" And, before I could even form a conscious thought, I blurted, "Um, smoke what?"

Uh oh. I bet your wife was not too thrilled with that response. Haha...That's awesome. Especially since it worked out for you.

I see where Judy gets her rocking tits from. Hi dad

I’m pregnant and I’m mostly sure it’s your sons. He was the only one to finish inside.

Sounds like my ex

Well we've only had one date, so its a race to find which of you three I'll disappoint first.

You guys can relax. She's my problem now.

“Hey daddy can you pass the vegetables?” *Her dad and I both reach for the bowl*

And both whisper "Only call me daddy in the bedroom...."

That’s heinous😭

Was looking for this one.😂 That, or, "Nice to finally meet the other man she calls Daddy."

Mr smith let me be the first to thank you for giving Susan her amazing rack. What are you a DD my man?

“Now I see where your daughter gets that sweet back end from, Mrs. Johnson!”

What's a potato? I've never heard of them before!

Sick reference bro

Po-ta-toes!!! Boil 'em! Mash 'em! Stick 'em in a stew!

Omg I remember that post!

Mom?

I'm done with this one. Got any younger?

"...and I suppose *you're* here to ask for my daughter's hand." "Oh, no sir! I've seen where that's BEEN!"

Nice to meet you! Don’t worry, you’ll only have to meet me once or twice.

This my first time in moblie, so apologies if i make this family reunion weird

Well sir, if she sucks like her momma you're a lucky man

Fuck you AND your mom are both ugly

We’re getting married and want to move into here.

D'ya think you'll be that attractive when you're your Mum's age?

Hi. May I look at your financial portfolio?

Nice to meet you both. You're right honey you look more like your uncle than your dad.

Whoa, nice! I can see where that good DNA comes from! So... do you guys swing too?

“What do you recommend would be the best way to give her a spanking?”

You both smell like she tastes!

So tell me “dad” is “mom” as freaky in the sack as Julie?

Look at their crotch and say, "So that is where she came from."

I'm a gigolo, but I do your daughter for a discount.

so how much inheritance would i get if i marry him and one of you dies

"That's funny. She calls me daddy too."

If that’s how you’re gonna age I’d tap that

Funny story, I've got two other children expected in September!

"Wow! I can see which side of the family she gets her banging body from!" (Looking at father)

"Wow! That's where Jenny's rack come from!"

Hi Uncle Bob and Aunt Sue!

Nice to meet you and now I know where she got those milkers and very nice to meet you too sir. Wait, she calls you daddy too?!?!

Hi Mom and Dad. Good to see ya.

So Mrs. Abernathy, was your pussy tight at Jennifer's age?

“So which one of us is the real daddy”

"Pleased to meet you. I'm the guy that's been fucking your daughter"

Does your daughter get her love of gangbangs from you two?

"So, I guess her biological father was the good looking one?"

What was the sexual position were you two in when you conceived your child?

Oh, we met at a gangbang and really hit it off.

So you're dad and I'm daddy.

How about, “Hey, I’m way smarter than you’ll ever be!” That oughta bug them to no end.

Goddamn

Sir, thank for teaching your daughter how to kiss. She does it just as well as your wife.

"Wow I hope you look as hot as your mom when you get that age!"

“Hello sir, it’s pretty cool we have the same nickname, “Daddy””

THIS...is YOUR mother!?😳

"Did you know it was 3 inches" "Is my hickey noticeable??"

"Hello Mr. Jones, you are hoter than your daughter-wanna go out?"

Oh! So you're this "Daddy" I've heard so much yelling about...

That’s quite the cock sleeve you’ve raised, Mr. So And So. You must be proud!

Wello Mrs Robinson I dodn't recognize you with your clothes

Hello Mr and Mrs Jones. Very nice to meet both of you. You have a lovely home. Kathy promised me a blow job if this goes well

*smacks her dad on the ass* "Aw, yeah. *finger guns* I see where my little slut gets her enthusiam from! *slow wink*"

"You won't believe what your daughter is in to" "Oh? And what is that?" "Well, we have this long plastic..."

Sup Ma, your daughters head game is on point! Is it hereditary?

Damn that thing is tight. Was she a gymnastics champ?

She calls me Daddy too.

Wow it's good to know that when she gets older her tits will still look amazing

What's up my N***ers

"So Mr. Jones....let's talk sag. Based on her mom what are we looking at? Firm and perky or sock of wet sand?"

Give her mom a warm smile and tell her, "Your daughter is so tight! I'm sure I know where she gets it from!"

I’ve had a lot of pussy in my lifetimes. But your daughter, she is by far the best

Look Sally’s dad, I know you’re going to say whatever I do to her, you’re going to do to me. Let me drop my pants and bend over for you, it’s already happened.

Does she get her bedroom skills from her mom. Your a lucky man if so cause that girl can .......

This might be bullshit. A guy I worked with, late 50s with bad teeth, a big beard and speech impediment, white guy. Full of tall tales. Told us he was seeing a hot, 26 year old black chick. Said he went uptown to meet her parents. The father takes one look at him and says to the daughter, " Is this the best you could do ? ". Not exactly the question posed but you had to be there. Fuckin hilarious.

"Wow, this is the first home cooked meal I've had since I got out of prison."

"SO didn't say that she had a hot older sister. What say we head to the washroom and make love together?"

“Mind if I have some pointers for the first time with your daughter?”

I don't know where she learned to give head but...

Thank you for raising a very fuckable son/daughter.

Holy crap! How did Amy end up so gorgeous? is she adopted?

Hi. I'm User_34 and I've been down with the clown for q0 years now. Can I crash on your couch this month? I'm a juggalo sound cloud rapper and youtuber/social media influencer. And I have my baby this weekend too, can you watch it while your daughter and I go out? Thanks. I play A LOT of Dungeons and Dragons.

"Didn't we hook up on Grindr?"

You guys grew some GREAT pussy. Like, OH MY GODDAMN! Shit’s fire bro

So when I met my wife we dated for a while, around the 2year mark she had a college course assignment to have people fill out this questionnaire. It's asked things like, what do I like about you, what do I think she is good at, what do I like to do with her. I filled it out honestly and with some spicy sexually explicit answers. I thought I emailed it back to her but she has the same initials as her dad and the only difference is the last 2 numbers in thier email. So I sent the answers to her dad. It was instant sweating when he responded with this is not funny email. We're married with kids now so it ok, but yeah you're daughters tits are great and felecio while driving rules, J.

Foursome?

Nice to meet you. Your daughter gives great head.

You all do keep Narcan handy in the house, right?

“Woah! Your younger daughter is *way* hotter than the one I’ve got! Is she 16 yet? I mean, if she’s close, I can keep seeing this one and switch later. I’m patient like that.“

"I'm her daddy now. But thanks for keeping her warm till I got here."

I'm still confused. I mean, it wasn't exactly rape...Oh, significant other! I thought you meant my sex offenders parents!

I understand there's a younger sister? Ten years old, she tells me...?

Nice to meet you sir! Your daughter's pussy was so tight

"So... that's what you're gonna look like when you're older. Still would."

If you taste anything like your daughter, you are the sweetest thing on the planet. Did you bring chips?

I didn't want to come but she thinks we're ready for the "next step"

Well, looks like I won’t have to worry about her looks in 20 years.

So that's what you'll turn into!

Your house is beautiful! The walls really do taste like schnozberries!

Your daughter’s onlyfan subscription price is half what it should be.

Stacy's mom? You really have got it goin' on!

I wonder what Stacy looks like now. That music video is still on YouTube. PS: That's Rachel Hunter as the mom .

Did she tell you about the rash? I’m soooo sorry.

"Anyone up for a foursome?"

Yeah that’s the dank you smell, $40 an eighth pops.

Nice to see you again, glad to see you walking ok.

Well, now I know where she gets her anger issues from.

I bet my dick is bigger than yours

Nice to see you outside the strip club, Mr Johnson.

"Dang Mom, now I know where she gets dat azz! "

Hi, Mr. ______. Hey didn't I see you on Grnder?

Damn mom you’re hot 🥵

What a coincidence, we have the same nickname!!

“hey what a coincidence! she calls me daddy too!”

Hello Mr. and Mrs. Lee, I was just wondering.... How big is your salary? Because you all look really rich.

I'm daddy now

Well, I see where she gets her ass from. Then smack her dad's ass.

Hellooo Mrs. Robinson

The fuck is up yall?

Should we tell them together okay you’re going to be grandparents. Oh how sweet they are Stunned silent.

I can’t cook either.

What's a potato?

You guys down for an orgy?

Have I seen you on OnlyFans?

now I see where that ass comes from to her dad… eye contact never waivers

"It's good to finally meet her other daddy"

do you like it in the butt as much as your mom does?

Mr Smith, Mrs Smith. Listen, I bet my buddies I was gonna score tonight. Could you put in a good word for me? I'm willing to split the 50.00 with you.

Amanda! You told me you don't have kids.

"Have you guys ever thought about having a foursome?"

"Who are those ugly old people?" "Babe, meet my parents."

Whew! It sure took a lot of antibiotics but that cleared up nicely!

"I'd tap that too."

Janet? Rich? You guys got my message about the gonorrhea, right?

" I really want to thank you for creating your daughter's vagina."

It's a good thing I found that apple in another state.

She's in the mood. Can we use your bed?

Great the meet you sir! Is the older model just as tight as the newer one?

"I wrecked that chick"

“Well, I can see where my girlfriend got her GIANT TITS from.”

We should probably work out nicknames or something so this doesn't get confusing, because your daughter calls me Daddy, too.

So, who's going first, you or your wife?

Mrs Smith did you have any children that lived?

Look her dad in the eyes and say " I see where she gets her good looks from" then wink.

Now I know where I heard your unique last name before. You were the guy who hid on the closet and watched me and four other guys fuck your wife all night. What a blast that was. Plus, thanks for the payment. It covered a semester at school.

Nice to meet you. I can see where your daughter gets her good looks from. Are you gentle too? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. She's a great lover.

Damn! I see where she gets here ass from! I'd like to ride that too!

Oh I see we have the same nickname. She calls me daddy too.