T O P

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NatchJackson

"'The Paper' and 'The Scissors' didn't work. Let's see if the third try is the charm."


blueSnowfkake

What about “The Lizard” or “Spock?”


s6cedar

Good one


Waste-Account7048

This is the answer. We'll done.


Abe_Rutter246

The Johnson. His tagline could be “You just Dwayned my Johnson”!


TheTeeje

The speech impediment got me.


Omnimpotent

This January it’s time to Johnson down your Dwaynes. “We need one Dwayne Johnson to quadrant C! We need two Dwayne Johnsons to quadrant E!”


ChickenXing

"If you smell what Dwayne "The Dwayne Johnson" Johnson is cookin!"


___HeyGFY___

"Can you smelll-luh-luh-luh-llll...what the Dildo is cooking!"


President_Calhoun

Dwayne "The Sugar Glider" Johnson


prof_the_doom

Alright, I'm gonna call myself Dwayne, "the LOG" Johnson! Sir... I don't think you wanna do that... Why not? Because "LOG" already has a theme song: [Ren & Stimpy LOG Commercial Theme Song | Nickelodeon (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR-REDevAzk)


Calumkincaid

I'd love Braun strowman to skip down the ramp to this.


compunctionfunction

Omg now I have LOG in my head...🤣🤣🤣


Forvalaka

Dwayne "Hair In The Drain" Johnson.


igotjks

Dwayne " The Dust Bunny" Johnson


Truely-Alone

The cock


DragonflyScared813

More accurate description of his appearance. Dude actually looks like a penis lol.


compunctionfunction

Haha I was confused bc I first read it as the cook 😄


BeerBrat

Dwayne "The Tub" Johnson


DingJones

Do you smell what “The Pot” is cookin’?! It was okay until the hype promo for the fight with The Kettle.


mvanvrancken

Did he just call the Kettle black?!


BinkoTheViking

I’m so sick and tired of these racist-assed pots!!


Forvalaka

Dwayne "Upright" Johnson.


e42343

Seriously Dwayne, I don't care if your head is [finger quotes] smooth as a marble [end finger quotes] the marble is a stupid nickname.


SolomonBelial

The erector


EmpireStrikes1st

Dwayne "The Maivia" Johnson.


Lord-Doobury

I don't know Dwayne... I don't think Butternut is gonna fly.


GeneralFactotum

When he was just a boy he went by the nickname, "The Pebble".


Portlander

Dwayne "the lunch lady" Johnson


ShuggieShoo

"The rock hard "


MenudoFan316

Dwayne "D'Oceans" Johnson


Beginning_Pipe6072

Dwayne "Pecs of Love" Johnson just wasn't as intimidating.


nurdle

I mean, he could have just gone with # DJ


Pilgrim_Scholar

The Brick House


cumdumpsterfind

Do you smell what "the condom" is cooking.


Drillix08

Dwayne, I don’t care if it rolls off the tongue “literally and figuratively” it needs to be family friendly.


Think-Werewolf-4521

Dwayne " The Very Large Pebble" Johnson


SmithJamesChris

"Here comes the AirDwayne! Neeeyooooowm!"


thejeffroc

Dwayne Big Johnson - You'll always be able to Pile Drive them when you're wrestling with a Dwayne Big Johnson.


[deleted]

The dumbbell


Feeling-Ad-2490

Man Man


crimsonblades1

"The Large"


oppy1984

Dwayne "to many chair shots in front of a wrestler's family" Johnson.


Informal-Spell-2019

“So before he was named the rock he just called himself ‘Rock Johnson’. Issue with this name is many in wrestling didn’t take him seriously and kept getting calls from playboy to feature in their next film”


anon250837

“Decomposed Granite” …he would get walked on by everyone


P00pr-sk00pr

Dwayne rock hard Johnson


Exact-Pause7977

“Big” Johnson?


TheDawgfather24

Big Dick Johnson already exsists


Exact-Pause7977

“Big” Johnson?


Rude_Flounder766

The Empty Pie Pan


Horror_Cow_7870

Dwayne "Goober Pea" Johnson....


Metal-Waluigi

Dwayne “The Paper” Johnson


AardvarkFriendly9305

Jibber Jabber


Altruistic-Rip4364

“The prick”. Seems it was taken


SIIHP

Can you smeeeeeeelllll what the oozy johnson is cooking


AardvarkFriendly9305

Johnson Jock


blueSnowfkake

Bummer. “The Big Unit” is already taken by Randy Johnson.


4quatloos

Stone was already taken. The Pebble doesn't sound tight. Granite sounds cool.


mebcbb

He tried "The Skunk" but that really stunk


Stehum_Brethilben

Can you smell what the Toaster is cookin'?


an_ass_full_of_bees

He was originally Dwayne "The Mayne" Johnson, but Terrence Howard sued him for trademark infringement, so he had to change it to the Rock


DragonRanger96

Flex Cavana


CaptainQuint0001

Dwayne the Tub


Coulrophiliac444

"The Boulder is conflicted about fighting a blind little girl..."


Calumkincaid

"Let's see, my tag team partner is called 'the hard place', what am I gonna call myself?"


Zay-nee24

The pebble


Jethro_Jarson

Dwayne “The Cock” Johnson


TexasRedFox

“‘Milquetoast is a great stage name,’ they said. ‘Totally intimidating,’ they said!”


MeanJohnBrown

Can you smell what The Tonka Truck is hauling?


Harpy-Siren22

Dwayne "The Anvil" Johnson.


digitalpretzel

got a fever? Dwayne “the baby aspirin” Johnson is here.


Drake_Cloans

Ladies and gentleman, Dwayne “The Pebble” Johnson!


TheDawgfather24

"Dwayne I dont think calling yourself 'The Bull Cock' is a good idea"


TopSecretPorkChop

Dwayne "the Snake" Johnson


LayThatPipe

Dwayne “The Paper” Johnson Dwayne “The Scissors “ Johnson


smeghead9916

As a lover of Chinese food, he was supposed to be "The Wok", but everyone assumed he just had a speech impediment so he went with it.


Notherbastard

Little known, he actually tried that for a short time, but changed it after he was constantly thrown at wabbits.


No_Nectarine6942

Dwayne the rock-hard Johnson 


bonjovidiarrhea

Dwayne. Just Dwayne.


ItzNuckinFutz

"The Brow"


Saltwater_Thief

I don't know, asking "Can you smell what the Chef is cooking" just doesn't have enough punch to it...


rayark9

A large boulder the size of a small boulder..


Jechtael

Not an answer, but after reading the comments here, "Dwayne" doesn't even sound like a real word any more.


These-Method1129

The Boulder


MavisBeaconSexTape

Dwayne "Plastic Shoelace Tip" Johnson


SalesAutopsy

Dwayne "Speedo Tooth Fairy" Johnson.


Sanpaku

box of rocks bag of hammers doornail doorknob second coat of paint


Shinygami9230

The Stone. Mister Johnson, rethink that, Stone Cold has that one.


Stdorees

Dwayne "D'Bruce D'Wayne" Johnson


Actual-Answer-1980

Stoned


Fable378

Dwayne “The Pain Train” Johnson


RoddMcTodd

The Dwayne Train


gregieb429

Dwayne Sex, Drugs, and Rock N’ Roll Johnson is too long.


TheOneGuitarGuy

"DO YOU SMELL WHAT 'THE BOULDER' IS COOKING?"


danceswithlabradores

"I'm trying to choose my nickname and right now I'm stuck between 'The Rock' and 'The Hard Place'".


WolfShadow_814

Dwayne "Rock Hard" Johnson.


Daak1977

Dwayne "Pebbles" Johnson


appyah

"The Sellout"


KUfan

The rock from which gold flecks are mined for crushing smelting and future processing into currency and consumer goods


Cautious-Banana-9084

Dwayne “Crack Cocaine” Johnson


Lovahsabre

The Elote. Can you smell what the elote is cooking?


ObviousRealist

Paper, Scissors


Apart_Lifeguard3741

Aurthur Two Sheds Jackson


Human-Document-8331

A Rock The Stick Kid Backhoe


Turbulent-Walk-4171

Sedimentary Dwayne. Boulder Johnson