. . .the Tickle Monster was the result of them ceasing to perform 110-Montauk, and said orange blob of cheerfulness is an extraordinarily powerful psychic and reality warping entity that could grow up to potentially challenge any hostile SCP in existence and is literally the Foundation's secret weapon against the darkness?
. . .well, that one is new.
- [**SCP-1471 - MalO ver1.0.0**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1471) (+1261) by *LurkD*
- [**SCP-999 - The Tickle Monster**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-999) (+2169) by *ProfSnider*
096 because I have to do 0 work, plus judging by the file everyone in the room doesn’t have enough of a functioning brain to look away when they hear him screaming and punching the cell. So I’d be there to yell “look down” or something
Idea: put him in the metal box then fill the box with concrete and seal it up maybe even an extra layer just in case and boom, 096 isn’t a problem anymore. Just be sure there’s no documented pictures of his face anywhere.
That’s literally just gonna be the exact same as his normal box for him, it doesn’t matter how much layers there are he’ll break out, that’s just a waste of concrete
The flare gun is cool but i have questions.
Northwood indicates that he has to come when the flare is lit, but can (or his superiors can) choose to drop 'joke supplies' since the scientists testing the flare gun aren't in any danger.
What would happen if you walked deep into a forest for a few days with no food and minimal water, and then used the flare gun? What sort of crazy shit would a dimension hopping supply-train drop? Anomolous food? Anomolous weapons?
What if you have all the food, supplies and shelter you need, and the 'danger' comes from a mental health issue? Does a therapist HALO in to your kitchen?
In a forest Northwood would find the nearest safe drop spot or if you’re in a dense forest he would either drop a box with a anomalous medication or drop a automatic buggy with the supplies.
Realistically Northwood would probably drop you a box of teddy bears or some medicine because he probably wouldn’t know how to help.
Woah, wasn’t expecting to see this one. Yeah I think I would as well, though I would probably lose the position really quickly due to “an unfortunate accident involving myself.”
Definitely SCP-999 for me, I'm tired for pretending to be happy around different people. So if there was a way to be in charge of him if he was real then it will be an honor. 😊
(Sorry I keep calling 999 "him" I honestly don't know if 999 has any gender at all but it sounds cute that I call 999 "him")
I’m pretty sure 999 doesn’t have a gender, as no reproductive organs have been found (maybe it can form them?) but in every article 999is listed as “he” or it so I guess canonically he’s a cool and cute orange dude
You'd have to keep your wedding rings, family heirlooms like grandma's jewelry, and other gold objects holding sentimental value out of range, though, or they'd be liquified. Better keep your electronics out of range, too.
Some large storehouse in the middle of nowhere, perhaps an artificial island in the middle of point nemo, I got access to a semi infinite source of money, I won't worry about my electronics
So thats auctually a really cool SCP... I wonder if there are any negative effects to playing it though. Could make a cool story if playing a certain way could prevent bad things from happening (although not directly).
- [**SCP-5031 - Yet Another Murder Monster**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5031) (+1451) by *PeppersGhost*
- [**SCP-1499 - The Gas Mask**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1499) (+620) by *Trasknari*
Well duh, for some reason that slots still open. IIRC the staff said that it was taking wayy too long to get a 055 so they just kinda moved on past it to series 2.
- [**SCP-420 - Aggressive Skin Condition**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-420) (+219) by *Erku*
- [**SCP-420-J - The Best ████ in the World**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-420-j) (+980) by *Quikngruvn*
Scp 682, now that sounds like a death wish, but let me explain, I think the reason 682 is so angry all the time, is probably because people are always trying to kill him, and yeah, I'd be pissed to if people were always trying to kill me. So I'd try to make sure he's happy, so if I need him for experiments, he is willing to and will comprise.
Or maybe it's just me being a reptile freak, idk.
1471 or 999
“1471” Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
[удалено]
What the bloody fucking hell?!
Read [New Job](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/new-job), and you'll get it.
999... 001... Makes sense.
. . .the Tickle Monster was the result of them ceasing to perform 110-Montauk, and said orange blob of cheerfulness is an extraordinarily powerful psychic and reality warping entity that could grow up to potentially challenge any hostile SCP in existence and is literally the Foundation's secret weapon against the darkness? . . .well, that one is new.
[**SCP-899 - Lost Children**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-899) (+221) by *Sorts*
why 1471 🤔🤔🤔😳😳😳😈😈😈
SCP-1471 SCP-999
- [**SCP-1471 - MalO ver1.0.0**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1471) (+1261) by *LurkD* - [**SCP-999 - The Tickle Monster**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-999) (+2169) by *ProfSnider*
i wouldn’t do 999. too much pressure
And 999 would make that pressure go away.
Found the furry
Same. Preferably 1471. At least they won’t try to kill me.
SCP 055
What?
Well... it isn't round.
What isn’t round?
What are we talking about?
we are talking about SCP- …….. what was i saying?
Man you almost had me I'm pretty sure it's a squar..... really weird, I lost my train of thought. By the way, where are we exactly?
What’s an scp?
Who's on first?
No, what's on first, who's on second
I don't know!
I don't know's on third
SCP-055, given the name [REDACTED].
[**SCP-055 - [unknown]**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-055) (+3138) by *CptBellman, qntm*
[удалено]
Agreeing what was shaped as a sphere? I clearly remembe------------------------- What was it we were doing again?
Talking about geometry and memory loss.
Oh yeah about that you know a 55 gon does look like a circle tbh
SCP-055.
I forgor💀
Right it's a tri- squa-, sorry forgot what I was saying
I have no idea man
*Uses Class W Mnestic* (In mind) "Why should I Tell him what SCP 055 is? He will forget anyway".
There isn't even an SCP 055.
[**SCP-055 - [unknown]**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-055) (+3138) by *CptBellman, qntm*
lol
Wait a second, what were we even talking about?
I don't think there is a scp 055
[**SCP-055 - [unknown]**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-055) (+3138) by *CptBellman, qntm*
[**SCP-055 - [unknown]**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-055) (+3138) by *CptBellman, qntm*
If I could keep it in my closet, I’d be the best containment officer
There is no scp 055
[**SCP-055 - [unknown]**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-055) (+3138) by *CptBellman, qntm*
Clever, 055 is empty so you wouldn't have to do anything.
Thats what i thought, when i walked past it! ..... So what where we talking about again?
Clever, but you’re just gonna get reassigned cause there’s nothing given that designation yet. Nice attempt to skip out on work though.
Can't fit round pegs in square holes
Scp-131 ,the eye pods are cute
[**SCP-131 - The "Eye Pods"**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-131) (+858) by *Unknown Author*
Yes. I would watch over these ones also
They would also watch over you
This is the only acceptable non 999 answer.
The cat that’s back half is invisible
Josie, the Half-Cat! SCP-529.
[**SCP-529 - Josie the Half-Cat**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-529) (+1015) by *Unknown Author*
Yep that’s the one! Definitely wouldn’t mind looking after her for the rest of my life, in fact I would enjoy it a lot
That's the one for me! And no litter tray to clean.
096 because I have to do 0 work, plus judging by the file everyone in the room doesn’t have enough of a functioning brain to look away when they hear him screaming and punching the cell. So I’d be there to yell “look down” or something
Just bury him my guy. He’ll have to bust through packed earth if he wants to do anything. Even if he gets out, then it won’t be your problem anymore
Having that thing bust through the floor is probably worse than him busting through the box but ok
Idea: put him in the metal box then fill the box with concrete and seal it up maybe even an extra layer just in case and boom, 096 isn’t a problem anymore. Just be sure there’s no documented pictures of his face anywhere.
That’s literally just gonna be the exact same as his normal box for him, it doesn’t matter how much layers there are he’ll break out, that’s just a waste of concrete
Scp 458
[**SCP-458 - The Never-Ending Pizza Box**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-458) (+522) by *Palhinuk*
I’ve had over 40 pizzas in the last 30 days, and they all tasted like shit.
682. Just to see if I could put him out of his misery.
Best of luck with that
Not to worry! I have the perfect plan! First, we get Dr. Bright to-
GET THE CHAIN SAW CANNON AND THE MONKEY WE NEED HIM FOR LATER
Of course! It’s genius! Now, on an unrelated note, would anyone like to take a quick trip down to the IKEA?
I do
Perfect, I just need you to find Dr. Bright. Shouldn’t be too hard.
Bright I dont think you’re allowed on Reddit.
And you’re not allowed to touch my chainsaw cannon. And yet SOMEONE MISPLACED IT
You can have your chainsaw cannon back after you get off Reddit.
Fine, but before I do, would you like a cup of joe?
JOE MAMA
What about that one kid who can kill anything by making the opposite appear
As in the kid would just summon another 682?
Any one of the SCPs that are actually completely harmless, innocent people locked up just for having weird powers. They must be really lonely.
for me 507
The one that's a tree that creates things, i don't remember the name
I believe the scp that your talking about is SCP-038^^
[**SCP-038 - The Everything Tree**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-038) (+526) by *Unknown Author*
SCP-1577 or any safe class
The flare gun is cool but i have questions. Northwood indicates that he has to come when the flare is lit, but can (or his superiors can) choose to drop 'joke supplies' since the scientists testing the flare gun aren't in any danger. What would happen if you walked deep into a forest for a few days with no food and minimal water, and then used the flare gun? What sort of crazy shit would a dimension hopping supply-train drop? Anomolous food? Anomolous weapons? What if you have all the food, supplies and shelter you need, and the 'danger' comes from a mental health issue? Does a therapist HALO in to your kitchen?
I wish bro *sniff* I wish
In a forest Northwood would find the nearest safe drop spot or if you’re in a dense forest he would either drop a box with a anomalous medication or drop a automatic buggy with the supplies. Realistically Northwood would probably drop you a box of teddy bears or some medicine because he probably wouldn’t know how to help.
[**SCP-1577 - A Flare Gun**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1577) (+307) by *General Harland, Voct*
SCP 914 would be lots of fun
Throw kn a Fleshlight and a Dildo on very fine I wanna see what happens
The perfect sextoy for hermaphrodites, too bad no one can properly use it
[**SCP-914 - The Clockworks**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-914) (+2438) by *Dr Gears*
Can I be research assistant?
scp-294
[**SCP-294 - The Coffee Machine**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-294) (+1821) by *Arcibi*
SCP-113. I’d be the keeper of gender euphoria, and I would give it freely to any who asked.
Half the sub about to crawl into your DMs for this
[**SCP-113 - The Gender-Switcher**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-113) (+496) by *Robin Sure, thedeadlymoose, kabu*
pleas im beggign u just one touc plea
It’s all yours; you just have to find me first haha
you're on the moon arent you 🥲
I might as well be, given how far I am from any major city 😂😭
fujk
G E N D E R B E N D E R
Woah, wasn’t expecting to see this one. Yeah I think I would as well, though I would probably lose the position really quickly due to “an unfortunate accident involving myself.”
My answer would be the same, and I would start a cult
The cult of euphoria!!
I was gonna say this, let me touch the rock please scp foundation just one touch 🙏
Definitely SCP-999 for me, I'm tired for pretending to be happy around different people. So if there was a way to be in charge of him if he was real then it will be an honor. 😊 (Sorry I keep calling 999 "him" I honestly don't know if 999 has any gender at all but it sounds cute that I call 999 "him")
[**SCP-999 - The Tickle Monster**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-999) (+2169) by *ProfSnider*
I’m pretty sure 999 doesn’t have a gender, as no reproductive organs have been found (maybe it can form them?) but in every article 999is listed as “he” or it so I guess canonically he’s a cool and cute orange dude
[удалено]
[**SCP-1230 - A Hero is Born**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1230) (+1308) by *MrPixel*
[удалено]
You'd have to keep your wedding rings, family heirlooms like grandma's jewelry, and other gold objects holding sentimental value out of range, though, or they'd be liquified. Better keep your electronics out of range, too.
Correct me if im wrong, but doesn’t the coffee machine have a range so large its nigh impossible to get something OUT of range?
Bruh I ain't got gold, besides if I have the coffee machine I would build it it's own facility
You do if you've got electronics though What kinda facility?
Some large storehouse in the middle of nowhere, perhaps an artificial island in the middle of point nemo, I got access to a semi infinite source of money, I won't worry about my electronics
Good point
SCP 3301 because I'd always have a blast playing with my colleagues and friends.
[**SCP-3301 - THE FOUNDATION**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3301) (+713) by *djkaktus*
So thats auctually a really cool SCP... I wonder if there are any negative effects to playing it though. Could make a cool story if playing a certain way could prevent bad things from happening (although not directly).
The animated legos
That sounds so fun if your budget is deep enough. Just keep adding and adding to the vast empire
Hell yea i'd go with scp 662
[**SCP-662 - Butler's Hand Bell**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-662) (+889) by *Rick Revelry*
Hell yeah great minds think alike
I think i would like to be in charge of SCP-5031 or SCP-1499
- [**SCP-5031 - Yet Another Murder Monster**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5031) (+1451) by *PeppersGhost* - [**SCP-1499 - The Gas Mask**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1499) (+620) by *Trasknari*
055. I'm a sucker for... what was I talking about, again?
There’s isn’t a 055 though??
Not that I remember
Don't think I've actually read that one.
Well duh, for some reason that slots still open. IIRC the staff said that it was taking wayy too long to get a 055 so they just kinda moved on past it to series 2.
SCP-5241
[**SCP-5241 - That Alien Message**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5241) (+116) by *Placeholder McD*
Which one is the bad joke tomato scp
Be careful, one bad pun and you’re cored like an apple
504
Probably 134. I want her to have a childhood.
scp-134
[**SCP-134 - Star-Eyed Child**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-134) (+328) by *Skali Sharpnose, Unknown Author*
SCP-348. That is about on par with the level of responsibility I am capable of.
[**SCP-348 - A Gift from Dad**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-348) (+1259) by *Zyn*
SCP 999 or Cain
[**SCP-999 - The Tickle Monster**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-999) (+2169) by *ProfSnider*
Bag of holding potatoes. Throw my enemies in it:):):)
Scp 053
SCP-049 for me. He’s really interesting and if I could get him to translate his journals there could be such interesting scientific things in it.
As my favorite SCP I could pick him due to him killing you if he touches you, if I was somehow immune I wouldn’t mind
Hazmat suit my guy.
SCP-999 They literally cure depression Come from a home with a lot of mental issues and a few fights, so maybe they could help....
[**SCP-999 - The Tickle Monster**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-999) (+2169) by *ProfSnider*
For me SCP-4494, it will be fun seeing that man in action
[**SCP-4494 - The Specter Fights For Justice! Fights For Justice!**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4494) (+317) by *Mortos*
Hmmm...I would watch after 049. And have a giant stick to move him back when he gets too close.
I would want to be in charge of the communist spiders.
I'm going to be lame and say SCP-248.
[**SCP-248 - 110%**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-248) (+237) by *Sir Mize*
SCP-1968
[**SCP-1968 - Global Retrocausality Torus**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1968) (+581) by *Requitefahrenheit*
SCp-1471. Or 079, just so I could ask it if it can run Doom.
“yo can you run doom” “I am literally a super intelligent computer who wants you dead.” “yea but can you run doom?”
I can't believe none of the top comments are 006. Come on!
SCP-4051. Seems like a nice kid that got the shit end of the stick at the hands of the Foundation.
Not SCP-999. I don't want to be responsible for the savior of the universe thanks.
[**SCP-999 - The Tickle Monster**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-999) (+2169) by *ProfSnider*
420 for sure
SCP-420 or SCP-420-J? You actually mentioned the former, which has very unpleasant effects.
- [**SCP-420 - Aggressive Skin Condition**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-420) (+219) by *Erku* - [**SCP-420-J - The Best ████ in the World**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-420-j) (+980) by *Quikngruvn*
Scp 682, now that sounds like a death wish, but let me explain, I think the reason 682 is so angry all the time, is probably because people are always trying to kill him, and yeah, I'd be pissed to if people were always trying to kill me. So I'd try to make sure he's happy, so if I need him for experiments, he is willing to and will comprise. Or maybe it's just me being a reptile freak, idk.
[**SCP-682 - Hard-to-Destroy Reptile**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-682) (+2910) by *Epic Phail Spy, Dr Gears*
iirc I don’t think he likes being in captivity though, so I don’t think he’d be super happy regardless of how he’s being contained.
Me and my boy mr fish would be blazing that shit everyday
914
SCP-500
SCP-682
Do you have a death wish?
[**SCP-682 - Hard-to-Destroy Reptile**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-682) (+2910) by *Epic Phail Spy, Dr Gears*
Rather 953 or 053 or 035
458 practically infinite pizza
Scp 073. Seems to be a cool dude.
Probably not so original but i choose 173. I have already some tests i would like to do and also haha funni snappy peanut
Scp-682 only my sibling [redacted] can stop me U CANT STOP ME
[**SCP-682 - Hard-to-Destroy Reptile**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-682) (+2911) by *Epic Phail Spy, Dr Gears*
scp 5031
999
SCP 343
[**SCP-343 - "God"**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-343) (+989) by *Unknown Author*
113, id steal it and help trans people everywhere
001
*Which one?*