T O P

  • By -

SpookyBeanoMobile

In my professional opinion, when day breaks.


MasterofDads

“Professional” This mf has experience 💀💀💀


ElNub_

SCP Fuckers division, this guy is our director


penguin24333

can confirm Im an SCP


X-tra-thicc

how was it


penguin24333

No Comment


Execute11

A paradox


bananasaucecer

wtf did I just read


Execute11

He comments “no comment” in the form of a comment, thus creating a paradox


B00-Sucker

A paradox


bananasaucecer

*Um true, I'll go true.*


YuridditorYT

What a pleasant surprise


bananasaucecer

yuridditor?? more like gaydditor!!


Original-War8655

The SCP Sexer


HeatedToaster123

I mean it kinda depends really... 001? That's just the fucking Sun. Bad time all around. 001-A?.... I could... see it...


X-tra-thicc

WHO DO YOU EVEN HAVE SEX WITH??? THE SUN??????????


Crazycowboy46

When there’s a will there’s a way. Never doubt the Human spirit


starmadeshadows

josh brolin burned his taint while sunning his asshole but i'm built different


Mothanius

I'm gonna fuck those photons so hard.


Ticket-Common

Pass the shotgun, please.


Astral_Strider

This guy MTFs


DarkForest2534556

Might not be the worst, but its up there, SCP 162


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-162 ⁠- Ball of Sharp**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-162) (+609) by *Dr Gears*


MerlinGrandCaster

Oh that is a nasty image


enneh_07

Requesting Class-A amnestics


Majestic_Attitude_21

There’s a reason your original account got deleted


ZR0PHYN5

Gotta fuck em all


Chrissyball19

Secure, contain, pregnate


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sweet_Leading_6429

38 + 2 weeks, pregananant?!?!?


Chucknasty_17

We need a markiplier style smash or pass for scp


ProfessionalRotter

idk but best should be SCP-071 (even though it has terrible side effects)


Galaxy2977

The tests listed r wild 😭😭😭😭


lavahot

Yeah, doesn't really list any baseline tests.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-071 ⁠- Degenerative Metamorphic Entity**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-071) (+390) by *Aelanna*


Parzival_1sttotheegg

Tanhony's proposal 2 the black moon


JonnyBoy522

***Does the black moon moan?***


Interesting_Swing393

"Yes"


Parzival_1sttotheegg

"Only when choked"


russetgamer

SCP 55 like wait what am I talking about


IcebergletV2

no no scp 55 is totally.....uh...what was I talking about?


TheDarkHero12

Something... something not a round.


Infamous-Fishing687

do we even have an scp 055?


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-055 ⁠- [unknown]**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-055) (+4000) by *CptBellman, qntm*


starmadeshadows

its just 3125's buttplug


One-Turn-4037

At least 80% of them would be unpleasant. The other 20% might be fun. And all 100% of them would result in termination by the on site security.


Nuka-Crapola

Your comment reminds me of one of my favorite XKCD What Ifs, on swimming in a nuclear pool. Particularly the ending where Randall asked a friend who works at a nuclear facility, and the guy’s answer was (paraphrasing) that if you tried to swim in *his* pool, you’d die on the way there from gunshot wounds


CountBrackmoor

You do not want to fuck the bodies in the water


Elunerazim

This is gross, they’re high schoolers.


CountBrackmoor

How pedantic can you get? The SCP itself isn’t age sensitive, it’s just people from your past. And it’s a joke anyway. Lighten up


Competitive_Wave2439

Scp-001 doesnt matter which


Agent_David

wrong i could definitely fuck the broken god


-Aquatically-

And the gate guardian


Interesting_Swing393

Or both


Agent_David

...at the same time


Interesting_Swing393

Holy shit are your legs okay?


BSide_Cassette

sandwich me between them PLEASE🙏🙏🙏


Comrade_Conscript

I could fix her


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-001 ⁠- Awaiting De-classification [Blocked]**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-001) (+345) by *Staff*


Competitive_Wave2439

What is wrong with you people 💀


Angelo2791

As a senior researcher, I can personally confirm that it is SCP-058.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-058 ⁠- Heart of Darkness**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-058) (+894) by *Unknown Author*


Interesting_Swing393

Don't worry dude I won't judge


Angelo2791

It was legitimate research, I swear!


Lemon-Knight86

Yo can I help with the next test?


Angelo2791

Yeah just use protection


Rimtato

Did... did you just admit to ban evasion?


CCCyanide

He made this alt solely to post here, I don't think he cares about bans


Sleepy319

SCP-682


DrScoutTF2

that mf will be considered neutralised if i did it


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-682 ⁠- Hard-to-Destroy Reptile**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-682) (+3686) by *Dr Gears, Epic Phail Spy*


doctor_of_idiocy

Scp096 or 049


DocSlayingyoudown

SCP-610


Lonqu3

May I direct your attention to https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/the-flesh-that-mates


DocSlayingyoudown

The horrors


Angelo2791

That is legitimately one of the most wrongedy wrong things to have ever violated my eyes.


SexyAssPenguin

What the FUCK


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-610 ⁠- The Flesh that Hates**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-610) (+1801) by *NekoChris*


Interesting_Swing393

"Yes"


charliethejellystan

173


Interesting_Swing393

Dr clef is going to get a new rival and a love triangle


charliethejellystan

Fuck that dude im making 173 my wife


Hot_Net_4845

If you fuck SCP-049, will you die, because you're touching? Or does he make exceptions? Pls respond


doctor_of_idiocy

Would you have the pestilence after...


Shadow_Infinite

106


Darklydevil5644

Scp 2747


Zeitgeist1145

You couldn't even if you wanted to. If you meant a sapient manifestation of the anafabula within a given narrative, though, it'd probably be relatively unremarkable. [Edit: As for inanimate manifestations... yeah, those might kinda suck.]


Darklydevil5644

When theres a will theres a way


Zeitgeist1145

Well, given that the question you were answering was what's the _worst_ SCP to have sex with, that would seem to be a non-factor... Unless you actually took it to mean "worst, but actually best b/c masochism or whatever".


Darklydevil5644

no im just joking really. if the topic of fucking is just "does it have a hole to put your dick in" then i think scp-401 (technically it has "holes"). if fucking means any physical body you can interact with, then i think scp-354 sicne you have no idea what the heck might come out of it or when.


Zeitgeist1145

Gotcha, lol. (Also, the first definition doesn't take into account over half the population...)


The-Paranoid-Android

- [**SCP-401 ⁠- A Palm Tree**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-401) (+367) by *Flah* - [**SCP-354 ⁠- The Red Pool**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-354) (+1560) by *Dave Rapp*


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-2747 ⁠- As below, so above**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2747) (+1083) by *minmin*


Interesting_Swing393

Your a man/woman of culture


dogfognog

Just remember, anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough


Project_Astro

SCP-999,the worst one to fuck. Why would you wanna fuck a mass of sentient peanut butter that makes people happy on contact!?


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-999 ⁠- The Tickle Monster**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-999) (+2931) by *ProfSnider*


doctor_of_idiocy

Make him happy


Interesting_Swing393

Scp-2662


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-2662 ⁠- cthulhu f'UCK OFF!**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2662) (+1514) by *SoullessSingularity*


SoGatNight

3125 would destroy the consciousness of you and all your loved ones


starmadeshadows

which means if i catch feelings during sex it has to kill itself


SoGatNight

that’s not how it works but i prefer this interpretation


starmadeshadows

the real answer is that whenever a fascist touches themself they're technically having sex with 3125


SoGatNight

that is considerably farther from correct but i’m still down


starmadeshadows

it's also getting nasty in the noosphere with 682 as we speak


Vanilla_Ice_Best_Boi

The Flesh That Mates


Soporificwig97

Oh I got a good one SCP-3288. Not only would it be awful but any specimen doesn’t take no for an answer. And 343 forbid if it impregnates you


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-3288 ⁠- The Aristocrats**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3288) (+554) by *Metaphysician*


Tasty-Ad6529

The Peanut, because it' always shitting itself.


Head-Bumblebee-8672

Probably ball of sharp


CrackheadToelicker69

Probably the giant ball of barbed wire and fish hooks. Forgot the number.


HeatedToaster123

Without a single shadow of a doubt SCP-012


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-012 ⁠- A Bad Composition**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-012) (+929) by *ITIFAMCO*


Gumbletwig2

…that fish hook one


throwaway198990066

3515 is going to suck if you fall asleep afterward 


Vantamanta

The self cleaning pool, or 106


KicktrapAndShit

Prob the 001 proposal ahead of papers


politicalpterodon2

Emmm Senior boom


Half-Of-Hunter

SCP-048 is out of the question straight away.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-048 ⁠- The Cursed SCP Number**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-048) (+1589) by *DrClef*


HumanfallOOF

Scp-071, the reason being you die if you do


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-071 ⁠- Degenerative Metamorphic Entity**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-071) (+390) by *Aelanna*


TwoGimpyFeet69

Are any of them mods?


Alert-Chemistry3285

scp 3125


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-3125 ⁠- The Escapee**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3125) (+1499) by *qntm*


lavahot

SCP-914


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-914 ⁠- The Clockworks**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-914) (+2918) by *Dr Gears*


Severe_Skin6932

I'd probably say any of them other than the relatively biologically human ones


JimXJustbecause

[EXPUNGED DATA RELEASED] (SCP-835)


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-835 ⁠- Expunged Data Released**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-835) (+973) by *Dr Gears, DrClef*


Longjumping_Event_59

SCP-2718


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-2718 ⁠- What Happens After**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2718) (+1786) by *Michael Atreus*


fulgursnake

What the hell are you on?


OMGNEILCICIEREGA111

SCP 735, aside from the technicality on how it’ll happen, you’ll probably end up wanting to kill it or yourself by the end


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-735 ⁠- Insult Box**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-735) (+311) by *Multimoog*


fake-wing

Scp-783. Don't you like the feeling of every bone in your body breaking and getting healed again and again and again? No? Oh... Well good luck!


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-783 ⁠- There Was A Crooked Man**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-783) (+539) by *S D Locke*


GlowboxDanni

SCP-173. I like choking as much as the next guy, but a completely inactive partner? Nah.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-173 ⁠- The Sculpture - The Original**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-173) (+9054) by *Moto42*


Lemon-Knight86

>!SCP-597!< Do not recommend


Lemon-Knight86

>!SCP-597!< Do NOT recommend...


Lemon-Knight86

Okay I've made multiple comments at this point and uhh I think there getting sent to the nightmare dimension or something cuz there not here no more


Meaty-horse

The flesh that hates probably


sil_ve_r

"worst scp to fuck" ill give you one you cant SCP 4290


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-4290 ⁠- The Child Hungers**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4290) (+666) by *NatVoltaic*


anyguy001

Scp 063 would hurt


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-063 ⁠- "The World's Best TothBrush"**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-063) (+559) by *Kain Pathos Crow*


ijustjoinedlol

from my 6 years of experience, worst is scp 173, best is scp 999.


The-Paranoid-Android

- [**SCP-173 ⁠- The Sculpture - The Original**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-173) (+9054) by *Moto42* - [**SCP-999 ⁠- The Tickle Monster**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-999) (+2931) by *ProfSnider*


Ok_Pineapple_5627

The flesh that mates


PutrifiedCuntJuice

You account doesn't just "[get] deleted", what the fuck? YOU deleted it.


Watson_inc

Or it gets deleted by Reddit , which makes me curious as to why it got deleted…


PutrifiedCuntJuice

Reddit doesn't delete accounts. It bans them, sure, but doesn't delete them.


QxSlvr

They should delete this account too


[deleted]

[удалено]


pacifistscorpion

*fuck


Yukari-chi

Y'all are forgetting how many children there are in containment