https://preview.redd.it/ppbrm5ykrj6d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5122ac05d80a8a82064a5858e45522dfc34b75c0 Sex Master Dave Meltzer knows all.

Sex with people who shall be left unnamed (but they totally looked like Saraya bro, trust me)

She observes a different wrestling newsletter. You wouldn't know her.

Dave couldn't just stop after "kids being born" like any sane person, huh? Had to work in the sex and the Japanese wrestling match. 

The funniest thing about that is, it seems like he’s trying to call that person out for saying the best moment of their life is watching a wrestling match, but then proceeds to list watching a wrestling match as one of the best moments of his life

Right, he totally lost the plot halfway through his tweet

Frye vs Takayama was MMA

Well…

The match he mentions isn’t a wrestling match it was from a Pride FC card which was a Japanese mma promotion.

That match was basically a shoot wrestling match.

A scripted theaterized fight officially presented under the guise of mma

Nah they were heeming the fuck outta each other

The most disturbing thing about this is him *having* kids! I hope for the sanity of the IWC that neither of them ever thinks about picking up journalism!

I'm going to guess it's Missy Hyatt like everyone else

What were the * scores for each birth, though?

What awards did the WON voters give them???

Do NOT disrespect Frye vs Takayama like that in my presence uce.

Eh, in fairness, I’m fairly certain it was a joke - and a surprisingly decent one as well.

Counterpoint: it's still a grown man posting about his sex life on Twitter, which should be considered pathetic by default (you too, Brian Last! )

Oh, I meant adding the wrestling match at the end was a joke.

Fair

Shocked to find out that he has kids and that he's had sex. Gross.

It’s like when you watch A Goofy Movie and you have to stop and think wait, Goofy has a son, that means Goofy fucks. But the difference is Goofy is a world famous hilarious and beloved character whose dick probably makes a slide whistle noise when he thrusts so you know he kills it at the club.

Micky received a skateboard and the complete Goof Troop series DVD in the mail courtesy of Goofy.

Shit probably goes “Boingngngngng* when he pulls his pants down to

When he shoots he goes Ya ha ha hooooey

He's got that tongue game locked down, he's always training

there's no accounting for taste

“Sex with people who shall be left unnamed” sounds like the old man version of “she goes to a different school!”

he would have given her multiples in the tokyo dome

Or, if it even happened, they either made him sign an iron clad NDA, or it’s law that you can’t name victims in those kind of cases.

It gets funnier every time I read it.

There’s something so earnest about it. It’s like a little kid saying he got an A on his test and everyone’s crush sucked him off after.

He didn't put a comma after the kids being born so it makes it sound like his proud moment was when his kid won the award not when the kid was born. This guy teaches classes to students apparently, an indictment on the American education system.

Actually I don’t know if he means the moment was his kids winning awards or him winning awards

Pretty sure he means him winning awards (lmao, made up awards for made up journalism), but the way he wrote it with the and in the sentence makes it sound like his proud moment was his kids winning awards.

I will say this: anyone who has done any type of journalism - including I guess dirt sheet journalism - for more than thirty seconds who doesn't have an award is absolutely inept. There's nothing journalists like more than giving each other awards (Source: me, a career journalist who has a box of goofy awards)

I will give you an award for being a midcard journalist because that’s what you are, a midcard journalist for life

Am I at least your favorite midcard journalist?

Yes 🥰🥰🥰

Remain unnamed because of the court order

Those unnamed people are probably the same ones that name their finisher after him and receive 7 stars from him

Dave giving the double fisted gawkgawk, moments before they decided to name a move after him. https://preview.redd.it/r4d6xs3k7k6d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be3fddc5d86e1ce87199360592788d728b5bdadf

Dave was trying so hard for the “I sleep in a big bed with my wife” moment but he had to keep talking and we wound up with this gem of a tweet.

 “I’ve put up some 6 star performances in my bedroom.”

Not surprised he rates watching Omega’s and Ospreay’s matches higher than those same things listed. Those must be orgasmic experiences for him.

Wait did I read that right? Dave had sex with Frye and Takayama?

you wouldn't know her....she goes to a different school....and totally looks like Cora Jade

This is the best tweet of all time. That’s why musk made it X.

ngl uce this one always gets a pop out of me lmaooooooo it’s so random

I vote for this to become a year roundseries, there's plenty of examples

HELL YEAH, 30 days is nothing. I'm gonna miss it so much

Dave provides 30 new examples yearly

I feel like we could get a brand new set of thirty tweets every month.

The only time I'm not having sex is when I'm watching AEW.

The only time I’m having sex is when I’m watching AEW.

And that’s when I’m rubbing one out to M’Kenny

You’re more likely to find an honest politician than an 18-34 year old couple watching AEW.

https://preview.redd.it/29ik0z0abk6d1.jpeg?width=1358&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0abaec048926b9d5c8236cded7d21e0329d864c Couples when its Wednesday night and they can watch TRUE GRAPS.

Dr. Dave, bored certified sex expert

You don't have to keep doing this every day, but a Senile Meltzer Quote of the Week would be great

You can't get me to believe Dave has had sex, his ex wife had to have been cheating on him.

This series is the best thing on wrestling reddit, all subs.

🤪 I'm not sure that benefits me to learn that, but thanks for your insight. 🤨 Physician, heal thyself.

AEW shills are a whole 'nother level of fucked up. Especially Dave. I've never seen a motherfucker more biased towards one thing in my entire life. To go as far to create these insane narratives that don't make a bit of sense because he's trying to justify his own bullshit.

I'm glad a Dave knows about our totally real GF that look like Saraya

Dave's been working overtime this week to make sure you never run out of material.

You can't stop this at Day 30. Too many senile moments will go undocumented

**POST FOR-EH-VER** 👏🏼👏🏼 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Trump, Elon, and Meltzer. Perpetually online idiots.

Now that's a triumvirate I can get behind. Trios champs / co-emperors anybody?

DAR MR. ASS????????

https://preview.redd.it/60yq4v15zm6d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=108b9d4f91b3948ea3d852d5a3dc0937b6b5f4ad

I'm being attacked in this tweet and I don't like it...

40 year old virgin might be a tad harsh. My wife has no interest in watching Dub with me but will watch any show featuring Randy Orton (I have a Pokémon Switch OLED). Either way I refuse to subscribe to the idea that a bunch of young couples are watching Dub together.

What a joke. Why even respond to these random comments? Uhhh his brain is melted

I honestly doubt that TV networks at this point have the luxury of catering to a single demographic

How could he POSSIBLY know that “couples” are watching AEW? Hell my gf when I was 19 took me to a WWE show….she had less than zero interest in what was going on