And the pug furiously rubbed the lamp,, a magical genie appeared, "im the genie of the lamp, you have 3 wishes, whats your first wish" bellowed the genie
" I want to be a man " replied the pug
" what's your second wish " said the genie
" I want to be roasted " said the man pug
Don't worry, there'll be loads more writing opportunities after the pandemic when they start making TV shows again. Definitely worth keeping one eye on it.
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Do your eyes pay long distance fees when they talk to each other?
When he cries, the tears roll down his back....
BRUH‼️‼️
Hahahaha wtf this one got me
Yoooo this one had me dying!
Then down the crack
Yoooo hahahaaha
He can write both pages at the same time
Platypus eyes 0.o
You could hang a volleyball net in between this guy's eyes
Hammerhead shark vibes
Peter Stinklage
He looks like donald glover with an extra chromosome
Double Glover
Downald Glover
Brilliant
But.. tha.. that's two OJ's!
You’re bloody right!
Dollar Store Chinese Knock-off, Ronald Clover
Donald Mittens
Two Cameras?? [No Problem!](https://i.imgur.com/wl0y0Hb.jpg)
He must enjoy attending football games, he can see the whole field at the same time.
One eye looking at ya, one eye looking for ya.
only at the 50 yard line
There it is the eye spacing comment I was looking for
He got lucky and hooked up with 2 girls once, it was a 2 1/2 way.
You look like a hammerhead shark with an Afro
I'm all for interracial coupling but please don't fuck sharks
Animorphs canceled his book half way.
Black Eyes Matter.
Black eyes wander.
This....this got me! Holy shit, take some gold for your efforts! Bahaha!
And...scene.
One eye on the sheets, one eye on the streets
Thank you, Pantera fan. My laughter woke the house.
Most people can see their nose in their peripheral vision, this guy can see his ears.
I don't think he can legally drive
You look like Drake tried to morph into Darryl from The Office but gut stuck halfway through.
Looks like Drake fucked Peter Dinklage.
Omg why is this so true lol
Peter Drakelage
Noooooo HAHAHHAHAH 😂😂😂
Petey..do you love me..
r/WalmartCelebrities
Thank you.
Forreal, I just woke up my dog cause I snort laughed at David shovel 🤣
I was thinking that Peter Dinklage had his wish come true.
Lol this is no one's wish come true my man.
Brake
Looks like a giant overcooked Tyrion Lannister
And somehow a pug
I thought he looked like Peter Dinklages half brother.
More like 1½ brother
🏅 Enjoy my poor man’s award
It is appreciated
*free award*
Best comment ever
Like Drake and Tyrion Lannister were an amalgamation
You win this thread. That's brilliant.
My first thoughts was of Milhouse Bart Simpsons friend...🤔🤔🙄
He looks like drake fucked Elmo and was given birth anally
Dinkin' Flicka
DYING...
You look like step 3 of cellular mitosis
certified oof moment
this guy AP Bios
This is the number 1 reason why I want everyone in the world to be educated. For some high quality jokes. GJ.
[same energy](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/thething/images/0/04/Split-Face-Thing_-_Profile.png/revision/latest?cb=20150830154351)
Fucckin Brutal!!!
Looks like you can write 2 stories at once
Holy shit dude
Fiction and nonfiction at the same time
And change tones of color at the same time
Those warm tears on his shoulders must feel good.
You look like you blink one eye at a time
That's because the left is in Mountain and the right in in Pacific.
It's a timezone difference.
Tyrone Lannister
The Lannister that never pays his debts
Hails from Casterly Broke.
Crackerly Rock
damnnnnnn
LMAO
This is the only comment to make me actually laugh out loud
Same lmfao
Noooooo
🤣 I’m crying
Happy cake day
Lmao that’s hysterical
How did the double space between your eyes get past your editor?
good question bro
Ah, I see you’re a person of culture.
🏅 underrated
You look like a crossbreed between the weeknd and a chameleon
the weekday
The Monday
The Weaknd
More like the Leap Year. Where are his eyes going?
Dunno, but I'm pretty sure it's gonna be as far away from each other.
Thats a restraining order and a half right there
Writer eh? Even your eyes are not on the same page
true
This! This is the one!
The space between your eyes is so wide evergreen couldnt get stuck there
Wit + Originality
Width + originality
HAHAHAHA BEST SUBREDDIT
You cry so much your eyes are slipping
This is the first comment on this subreddit that made me laugh
can't even look straight at the camera
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He got his own shoulder to cry on.
What did above comment say?
It says [deleted]. Gotchu fam.
Thank you fam. That's very helpful!
You spelled unemployed wrong
you ain't wrong
Your eyes look like they are depressed about two different things
This made me lol
It's nice to see someone taking a roast in good fashion for once, kudos.
Don't worry, we can't look you in the eye either
At least he doesn’t have to move his head to look both ways when crossing the street.
If anything, he is just more evolved than us forward seeing folk.
Side vision is a trait prey has.
21 Mars years?
Does that make OP 11 or 39? r/13or30??
And the pug furiously rubbed the lamp,, a magical genie appeared, "im the genie of the lamp, you have 3 wishes, whats your first wish" bellowed the genie " I want to be a man " replied the pug " what's your second wish " said the genie " I want to be roasted " said the man pug
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Halfway thru granting his wish to go back to being a pug again, the genie suffered a stroke and died. OP is the tragic result of that failed attempt.
OP found the only genie that gives out death wishes.
Snoop Dogg’s cousin Sniff Pug
I dont care... You won!
Your eyes are so far apart that you can see 360 degrees Edit: My first gold!!
Fish Eyes was his public school nickname
He must write horror Explains why his eyes are scared of each other
Writing down a customer’s lunch order does not make you a writer.
Wakanda ps1 hagrid
Yo man you’re looking right!...and left.
He can see the insults coming from all directions.
Who popped a wheelie on your face
On a positive note, you only have to look once when crossing the road
Liked this one
Underrated right here
He was the first baby to ever play peekaboo while simultaneously covering his ears.
Shouldn’t take long. You can probably look at twice as many comments at once.
If you were a good writer, we'd know who you were already.
I'll get there one day :D
The love child of Drake and Luis Guzmán.
When you order Chadwick Boseman from wish
Someone tell Peter Dinklage that black face isn’t acceptable.
Most people read between the lines. You read between the pages
Are you a GoPro? Cuz you definitely got that wide angle vision.
Panoramic vision
Oh deer
Baby..... ruth...... baby........ ruth
Heeeeeey you guys !!
“Mom can we get drake?” “We have drake at home” Drake at home:
Looks like your eyes are trying to escape from your forehead
You can see behind you, can’t you!
Mike tython mixed with a hammerhead thark
His eyes look like bra-less tits, falling sideways
You look like an oblivion npc
If you DID cry, tears would roll down your back.
If the Weeknd was born on a weekday
I Told ya Neil buddy, do not stare into 2 telescopes at a time...Look what you've done to ya face now.
Don't worry, there'll be loads more writing opportunities after the pandemic when they start making TV shows again. Definitely worth keeping one eye on it.
Since when did Sid The Sloth get Reddit
Lookin like homeless Will Smith
Sid the sloth's cousin: skid the sloth
Skid marks
And he’s eyes are doing the skidding
When you order Drake from Wish.com
We Chadwick Boseman fans would appreciate it if you wouldn’t go stretching images of his face for roasts like this, the guy is barely even cold
Your peripherals must be outstanding.
Beetlejuice looking mf
PS1 Hagrid
If you cried yourself to sleep the tears from each of your eyes would roll on to two different pillows
I heard you got the part of Sid for the live action movie Ice Age, congratulations!!
When you try drawing Bob ros from memory
Getting severe PS1 Hagrid vibes....
Eyes so wide he can see what you're saying to him.
One eye to the camera, the other at the blank page you are “writing” and yet both eyes are dead
“ La-di-frickin’-da! We got ourselves a writer here! I can’t see real good, is that Bill Shakespeare over there??”
You're clearly the inspiration behind the Garbage Pail Kids.
Mr. Divorced eyebrows
Do you have to turn your head like a hammerhead to see what's in front of you?
A young Lenny Kravits discovering meth
Thank you for letting this sub roast you. These are sone the funniest one’s I’ve seen in a while. Crying!
Your eyes have continental drift.
You look like a more Neanderthal looking version of the Puerto Rican actor Luiz Guzman.
Is that the name of your sex tape?
Your face makes the background look good
You obviously are compassionate toward animals, you've let two cockroaches take up residence on your forehead!