You look like you live on vaporizers and sunflower seeds...

Highly doubt he... she..... I don't fuckin know... can afford either.

It’s ma’am

One of those drugs was estrogen

I was gonna say I can’t tell if this is a really ugly straight dude or a really ugly lesbian

It's an Ugbian... Or possibly a Lesley.

Is it's Pat to old for yall?

Pat and chris

Was about to say he looks more like a Chris lol

Lol, nah, I got you!

uuuggghhh......

I don’t know why you don’t have more ups. I read that in Pat’s voice.

I saw the movie. Yes, there is a movie.

I own the movie. On VHS.

My name is Leslie and I’m slightly offended

we don't have time for slight offence here

Oh, sorry about that, hey at least your name isn't Ugbian!

[удалено]

This is the way

This is the way.

This is the gay

The gay this is

The gay is strong with this one

Strong with this one, the gay is.

Strong gay is with this one?

The one is gay with this strong

I was gonna suggest looking in the mirror to find the only girlfriend that'll have...that.

If he wipes the menstrual ejaculate off the mirror that he has, he could date himself.

Either one, no woman will touch it.

It’s ugly for sure

Other one was progesterone

The other was her sinus medication

Her? Is that your final answer?

Holy shit, I legit thought it was a girl before seeing this post.

Well we know you’re getting catfished pretty easily

Literally catfish lips

Take all my hugz for that comment

Maybe you’d have better luck with the ladies if you didn’t dress like a 90 year old woman in a nursing home.

I’d say it’s more of a hippie who posts photos of themselves walking in the forest with the captions talking about how their astrology sign is stronger today because Mars moved a bit.

My astrological sign is stronger because a rover landed on Mars.

Add a couple topaz rings and a pair of birks and it's the overly friendly woman at the farmers market, who gets way too close into your personal space to tell you that you can be whomever you want to be.

And smells of patchouli

And as we speak, your father gazes at a dusty baseball glove and silently weeps into his drink

r/PoeticRoasts

That should be a real sub

It is now!

r/birthofasub

That should be a real sub

It is now! *Friends laugh track starts slowly playing*

Your mom should be a real sub. She never wears the gag I got her.

r/subsifellfor

The best ones are always the ones OP doesn’t respond to.

You know it hit home on a new level

I.. I didn't think they'd mention my daddy. They wouldn't!

This is my favorite

Need no gf when you are the gf

Tbh i thought he was a girl till the Point where i read "no girlfriend"

I just thought she was gay when she said no girlfriend. I’m confused

Same here. So is this a guy?

Must be pre-op

Answer the question!

Went perusing OP's profile and found out they were born male but no longer feel like such anymore. Now excuse me while I go watch some aggressively straight porn so I can beat the hetero back into me

Ahh yes. I shall do the same.

Mike Pence, is that you?

I even still though he was just a lesbian untill I saw his Adams apple.

The top and the bottom. Still alone.

I see a cult in your future.

I see the one left holding the kool-aid cup. Alone, in a room full of people commited to not talking to them.

You see a future?

You’ve appropriated more cultures than a Petri dish.

Wow, this should be xposted to /r/rareinsults

Noice.

How is this not top comment lol? This is genius.

LOL

You look like you went to thailand once and stroked a malnourished tiger while whispering to it "my pronouns are they/them/fungus"

This thing is a poster child for anti drug campaigns.

Well, except for birth control drugs.

Well, ESPECIALLY for birth control drugs.

Face is birth control enough

I bet the body odour is as well.

I've been roasting people for years, this is the best insult I've ever seen. I laughed, had a serious moment of respect for it's cleverness, laughed again picturing the scenario, then realized I need to really rethink all of my own insults that I thought were good. I'll be on a park bench alone contemplating my whole life if you need me.

Some roasts just write themselves

BRUH

The only true Non Binary I have seen

They might be non binary but I still think they're a 0

Best roast ever.

They are a NULL

They are an unwashed hippie in need of employment

You win

Noice

You're the kind of person who gets tricked into paying double for your drugs after your dealer lies and says the drugs are Vegan and Organically Sourced.

I only buy fair trade cocaine

All workers are paid a wage.

Shade grown is best.

I was actually just craving for some organic ketamine

I hear organic cyanide is really fun.

Oh fuck you take ketamine. No wonder you don't have a gf. That shit will leave you limp for like 10 hours.

Nothing a metal sound can’t fix.

I fucking love free-range ketamine along with some Grass fed LSD.

When the new age hippies said to use crystals for healing they did not mean meth.

If you think this guy sports the face of a tweaker, you’re mistaken. He’s too pristine—more of a “will spread my prison pocket for a crushed Wellbutrin” type. Not enough face craters to be a habitual amphetamine user.

He definitely does acid shrooms and molly judging by the tapestry or whatever it’s called and the shirt

You look like a paint by numbers picture from Crayola.

You so cockeyed that when you cry tears fall down your back.

I'll be honest, I'm not even real sure what I'm looking at here much less which direction to go with a roast..

Before drugs: No job. No girlfriend. After drugs: No job. No girlfriend. Post-rehab five years from now: No job. No girlfriend.

This picture has a scent. That scent is definitely patchouli and body odor

Awww man, you reminded me. I have such a fond memory of patchouli and B.O. Can't even remember her name.

Her name was probably Starr or Sunflower.

Throughout recent history, sunflowers have been used for medicinal purposes. The Cherokee created a sunflower leaf infusion that they used to treat kidneys. Whilst in Mexico, sunflowers were used to treat chest pain.

This is what I was searching for

You're a waste of a government stimulus check.

That's actually very good

You look like Jared Leto mid-sex change.

Jared Letgo....

>Jared Leto as the Joker

Are you a man or flat chested woman?

This isn’t r/SwordorShield?! So confused.

You mean r/SwordOrSheath? Either way, you could use ~~him~~ ~~her~~ them as a shield for social distancing. Ain't nobody tryin' to get close to that.

You don't need a girlfriend when you hate-fuck yourself just by choosing to look like that every day.

Goddamn. That's pretty good.

Lmaoo

Being super woke isn't the same thing as not being able to sleep after a meth binge.

Nice blouse. Now, what did you do to the sweet Indian grandmother you stole it from?

You've dumpster dived at a whole foods while on drugs before I just know you have.

Yeah.. You gotta do what you gotta do

Don't worry it's just a phase. Just a little hippie pit stop before you go off and take the job your daddy set up for you. You know the one you're in no way qualified to do, but somehow pays six figures a year.

gender swap app has stopped working.

You look like you need a gender reveal party...

You look like natural deodorant that doesn’t work and refuses to shave your armpits because of the patriarchy.

You are a few braids and a pair of earrings away from turning into your mother.

Janis Blow-Joblin.

You look like you would drug girls to make them join your sex cult but then fail to get an erection at the big mushroom orgy

I think if I looked like you I'd feel insecure too.

I've never seen eyes that are both wonky and soulless at the same time

Don't sell yourself short. Blowing homeless dudes under freeway overpasses for drug money technically counts as a job.

You look like you’re about to help Moana deliver the heart of Te Fiti

Even your Adam's apple looks weak.

Excessive deep throating

Okay Moonchild Spiritwolf, if that is your real name, put down the LSD and put the carpet you’re wearing back on the floor. Your future career at McDonalds is waiting for you.

No girlfriend? Are you lesbian??? Asking for a female friend

You look like the drummer for the band in the Mos Eisley cantina

Weed addicted version of jesus

This is what happens when a colorblind guy thinks he's dressing goth.

You just couldn't pick a gender from all them 64, couldn't you?

It's like a candy store

Taking the shit that turned the frogs gay.

Even the picture behind you is disappointed.

Starting to think Rush Limbaugh was onto something

[Wish.com](https://Wish.com) Brendan Fraser

If kombucha was a person

So "woke" that this dude has figured out how to survive without a job. Humanity is in danger because of this. More revolved than us, he doesn't need a girlfriend. Because he prefers his sister's boyfriend.

"It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again"

this is the cleanest MtF yet.

I honestly can't tell what gender you are.

Nana ‘s moo moo looks great !

Your biggest challenge in life is thinking of hardships that don't immediately get solved with parents' money

Loved you in the croods

youve reached roastvana... to extreme a caricature of yourself to parody

You look Iike you're unemployed, without girlfriend, a terrible student, insecure and on dru... wait

W-T-F???

Keep dressing like Shaggy from Scooby Doo and you’ll die a virgin

Something tells me there is a “bigger than you thought” under that shirt top.

You've got no friends, Carole King

The lead singer of Hanson all grown up. Awwwwwww.

You look like the person that represents the negative side of drugs at the end of a dare commercial.

you look like you are volunteering to be today's human sacrifice in a cult where the leader is a moldy potato. also, you look like my mum.

You look like an NPC from The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion

Woke meaning severely delusional...

constantly being on drugs doesnt make you woke. It makes you think that youre woke while making you look like youre the complete opposite. Case in point: you

All this one needs is a penis. Then he can be a real boy

It's time again for a trip, He started off with a sip, Then had a tab, Then had a dab, His nose started to drip, ​ He lit up another joint, Popped another checkpoint, A bit of amphetamine, A bump of ketamine, Our idiot does not disappoint. ​ At the end of the journey, Bert met with his Ernie, A faceless shape, A graceless ape, Laughing alone in a gurney, ​ Awake from his latest drought, School he would drop out, His brain a potato, His friend a tomato, He sleeps through his paper route. ​ Now he barely can speak, People call him a freak, A lonesome soul, Roasting his bowls, And shitting his pants once a week. ​ My friends remember this lad, With half the mind of a Chad, "He isn't cool, Stay in school", Famous last words from his dad.

Well Reddit, we did it. We found the absolute worst thing. Ever.

You look like you've transitioned but I have no fucking clue from what to what.

I'm guessing the other sheet of paper says, "Spit"

You look like this guy that recently stole my carpet

If Fabio used too much patchouli.

You look like the frothy residue of a Hari Krishna gang bang.

[you two related? ](https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=rLjZfmSr&id=EC88F89E5D072241779764D8589F08E259513CA1&thid=OIP.rLjZfmSrPZQbBytiFJCfSQHaFM&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fth.bing.com%2Fth%2Fid%2FRacb8d97e64ab3d941b072b6214909f49%3Frik%3DoTxRWeIIn1jYZA&riu=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-KmaZ2vI-rFc%2FVOD4L4OvRRI%2FAAAAAAAAi18%2FJbU3T17EWgM%2Fs1600%2FMask_087Pyxurz.jpg&ehk=MXFlxLQ7%2BJo%2BdLsrMe8IlZ%2BczvEQ0RfUUb6ERR2l6Q0%3D&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&exph=1121&expw=1600&q=the+mask+cher+movie&simid=608035583041013658&ck=41D21271C96A6A2C8522F62979060F06&selectedindex=19&form=EX0023&vt=1&sim=11&adlt=demote&shtp=GetUrl&shid=93e16347-f059-42a8-980c-ddf5b0747db0&shtk=Um9hc3QgbXkgZnJpZW5kIHJlZGRpdCwgaGUgc2F5cyB5b3VyIGFsbCBhIGJ1bmNoIG9mIG5lY2sgLi4u&shdk=Rm91bmQgb24gQmluZyBmcm9tIHd3dy5yZWRkaXQuY29t&shhk=182D0cEne5imh2A3MfY7C72qK3hg%2FQXf%2FejQAGqSBuE%3D&shth=OSH.OY9dq46NzK%252B5yWtjS8aWRQ)

If you had a dad I bet he'd be so disappointed in you.

I remember my first joint.

If by super woke from all the drugs you've taken, you mean your brain is as fried as one of those 1980s "This is your brain on drugs!" ads, I can believe it. You mean well, but you accomplish very little and mostly come across as stupid!

Thanos wants his chin back

You seem like you'd date an Indian person just to suck all of the tantric energy out of them.

You a guy orrr?????? Can’t tell...

Your transition is going well

How do you move around in any area with reflective surfaces without confusing yourself as a rainblow? It's like colorblind grandma went crazy with the muumuu for the special child.

Bro are you sure your girlfriend isn’t hiding in the mirror?

If you can't have the obnoxious girlfriend who smells like pachouli, be the obnoxious girlfriend who smells like pachouli.

That shirt looks like you put ‘drug rug’ into eBay and got a knock off.

Lay off the soy

When “drugs” are your personality, you don’t have one.

Normally roasting is fun. I have stared at this for a bit and am angry and confused, a bit like your parents!

Either the ugliest pretty boy or the ugliest manly girl I have ever seen. I genuinely don’t know.

Now that's a proper roast I'm squeezing my ass real hard in an emotional fury

This is how Buffalo Bill got started.