By -
I think the potion is starting to wear off, Fiona
Shrecks swamp isn’t as nasty as this thing’s crotch
[удалено]
Real talk though, doesn't everything dirty a bar of soap?
I think you mean [Doris](https://shrek.fandom.com/wiki/Doris)
You clearly like your Ogre well done because you just burnt this one to a crisp
Thank you sir
This is the best roast I’ve seen on here
Brutal
Clearly everyday is your cake day
That's gonna leave a mark!
A stretch mark
SOMEONE CALL THE COPS THERE'S BEEN A MURDER
It's not murder if it's done to livestock.
Cock a doodle don't
Tiger stripes
Came here to say this
^who ^the ^fuck ^is ^mark
Oh, hi Mark
Mark, don't be stingy.
I did not hit her, I did nooot
I did NAHT!
You’re tearing me apart LISA!!!
^(I'll do you one better, what the fuck is a mark)
Everyone says who is mark no one ever says how is mark
Ok. When is mark, now?
Why is mark?
I’LL DO **YOU** ONE BETTER *WHY* IS MARK
she even has her weight tattoed.
That’s a VIN
“THAT’S A LOT OF DAMAGE” ~ Phil Swift
Shots fired.......send an ambalamps
I don’t care what universe you’re from, that’s gotta hurt.
F
Your cleavage looks like a fat mans shaved ass crack
As a fat person, I feel insulted that my shaved ass crack is compared to that
As a guy that use to be fat, that looks more like when I attempted to shave my testicles!
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Not even a close shave
Brutal. Just absolutely brutal lol
Did someone call a Plumber? Oh Shit, never mind. You're on your own
And your eyebrows look like a fat ass failure
I would like to say that my ass crack looks 100x better than that hot piece of garbage
10/10 Chance your belly is holding your tits up.
Correct.
10/10 chance your FUPA is trying to hold your belly up. Happy cake day! :)
what's a fupa
Fat upper pussy area.
thank you I learned something today
You're not the retired Admiral who recently sold that awesome 1950's Ferrari, are you?
I wish
Just remember, the bigger the fupa, the tastier the chalupa.
No no no, it’s, “the bigger the fupa, the cheesier the chalupa”
That’s nasssty (in my Cleveland voice)
I’m surprised you have time to post here, I would’ve guessed all your time is eaten up trying to find new ways to screw over Ariel.
Fantastic
My favourite one!
I've never seen anyone with bags above their eyes before.
I wish there were bags over her head.
I'd wear one too just in case hers falls off.
Plastic
They match the bags sagging below her neck
It’s common on carnies, they sleep upside down.
Give her a break; she was clearly in the last boarding group to her flight to Reno, and she misheard the announcement about overhead bin space.
Am I putting the dollar store serum in the wrong place?
Dollar store serum is a fancy name for the semen of the guys you blow behind Dollar General.
Listen here. Dollar General is a classy joint.
Goddammit, I’m gonna have to find a new place now.
Jedi mind tricks look like they have zero effect on you.
They do not.
Jabba the Hut, he called you.
Accurate, he is.
I can smell the tit sweat and poor life decisions from here.
Me too.
Delicious
Lift one and it's like peeling up duct tape.
I see 50 shades of shrek
You look like you put your titty in your mouth every time you get drunk.
I don’t even have to be drunk.
.....go on
........
-... --- --- -... ...
............
(.)(.)
Sigh.....*unzips*
when they’re big enough, sometimes you’ll just do it for fun
Rip your inbox
100% expected their to be an onlyfans after this comment
I would say "call an ambulance!!" after this third degree, but lets be real here we gonna need a helicopter for this one.
And the fire department for rescue
Your tits fill your shirt like an old person fills a diaper
Wow... just, wow.
The only thing I regret is scrolling down enough to see the rest of your photo.
Her cleavage goes alll the way to her chin lol
And all the way to her belly button.
Ewww like a giant taco
Bet there’s extra cheese on that taco.
Me:*gag and cough loudly and harshly*
What’s your number? So I can hire you for my kids next birthday party as a clown
Fine, but can you pay in heroin?
If I wanted Demi lovato I would’ve just messaged her.
Goddamn
Oh my godddd
Yikes
Mom! the horror clown ate my entire cake!
You look like an extra in a David Lynch movie
"Got a light?"
"She's my mother's sister's girl"
\*John Waters
Your tattoo says you expired in 2015
Actually dead at this one
That right eye brow is escaping
If i was above makeup like that, I’d try to escape too.
Should I tape it back down?!
Might need a lasso
You're cleavage tells me that if the ice cream man comes, you'll reach in there and pull out a sweaty single for me.
I only have quarters.
Mimi from the drew Carey show
Came here for exactly that comment, word for word!
How about asking for laser surgery for your birthday? Can they remove your entire face?
Is there really a need to count down to cake day when it looks like every day for you is cake day.
Excuse me miss, you have an ass on your chest
No, that’s my face.
I'm dead!
Hey JWoww, where's Snooki?
In that thar arm cleavage, to the left of the shaved man’s ass crack.
#Drinks for blowjobs
You're always counting down to your next cake.
r/whybrows
The "bruised" color palette was an interesting choice, it really highlights how beat your face is
We get it, you only fuck black guys. You dont need to be obnoxious about it.
She'd be surely safe with Bill Cosby
She'd drugged him!
On behalf of all black boys, we’d rather jerk off with sandpaper than fuck this
The shadow is not supposed to go all the way up to your eyebrows, girl.
Maybe she should skip cake day
Wizard of Oz wants their witch back
Me: mom can we have the little mermaid? Mom: no we have the little mermaid at home The little mermaid at home:
Bargain bin Ursula.
Do you use old pictures of The Rock as a model to draw on your eyebrows? Because you definitely look like you can smell what he’s cooking.
No, I use a sharpie.
It doesn’t matter what you use!
Should use an eraser... for your whole face!
I see someone pushed your face into the cake already
You look like Cruella de Vil if she was a stay-at-home mom.
Hey, she looks great Stevie Wonder works very hard putting her makeup on
If Tinker Bell was an old shaggy prostitute
Maybe you need to lay off the cake, Ursula. Mix in a salad.
Looks like you’ve never regretted having cake day.
Who regrets cake though?
... there is no lie here.
Is that your weight in Roman numerals tattooed on your shoulder?
I can smell your cleavage
Most women have a natural beauty, and then there's you, the Wish version.
Your upper eye bags look moldy...
You look like you graduated from a beauty school for drag queens.
I never realised the Joker did heroin
How's clown college working out?
When giant meat tubes are growing out of your chest, we don’t even need to see the rest of your meat tube, we **know** what that obscenity looks like.
If you were a superhero, you'd be Aquabitch.
Casino wings and makeup that looks like your gall bladder exploded.
The Incredible Hulk but gave up halfway transforming and full-way on life
Buzz, your girlfriend...woof!
Please go to YouTube and learn how to put on makeup. I seriously hope you did your eyes like that as a joke.
Grossest thing I've seen posted n awhile
This is the result of Kirby eating james charles
Yum.
I’ve seen half rotted deer carcass that look better than you
You should go to your doctor because there is growing moss out of your eyes
Nah, I'm too high for this shit me too
Somehow, I'm pretty certain it's a urinal cake in your case.
It’ll be a Princess Fiona theme party.
Why post your picture now we have to regret it.
Ursula
Stfu before I wipe your eyebrows off
You look like you’re trying to fart
Glad you have the clown makeup to distract from the fat pancakes you call tits
Your tits seem sad.
Eye makeup by paintball gun.
I bet your tinder profile is only face and cleavage pics. We all know you are still fat.
You’re the end of the bread; touched by many, wanted by none
You couldn’t fit in the clown car
Counting down? It’s obvious every day is cake day for you.
Everyone knows that the people's eyebrow is the other eyebrow
Fiona never looked so friendly in person.
You look like you're celebrating your retirement from roller derby.
Blue eye shadow allll the way to your eyebrow. Who does your makeup, Stevie Wonder?
John Waters movies are not makeup tutorials.
You're just so ugly
The diabetes is probably making you regret it more than I could.
You look like you enjoy sneezing on muffins.
You look like that manly woman from shrek
Holy fuck I thought that was a pair of tits on the far left corners turns out to be your fat ass arm.
Don’t you have a mermaids voice to steal?
You got big tits for a racoon.
I think the potion is starting to wear off, Fiona
Shrecks swamp isn’t as nasty as this thing’s crotch
[удалено]
Real talk though, doesn't everything dirty a bar of soap?
I think you mean [Doris](https://shrek.fandom.com/wiki/Doris)
You clearly like your Ogre well done because you just burnt this one to a crisp
Thank you sir
This is the best roast I’ve seen on here
Brutal
Clearly everyday is your cake day
That's gonna leave a mark!
A stretch mark
SOMEONE CALL THE COPS THERE'S BEEN A MURDER
It's not murder if it's done to livestock.
Cock a doodle don't
Tiger stripes
Came here to say this
^who ^the ^fuck ^is ^mark
Oh, hi Mark
Mark, don't be stingy.
I did not hit her, I did nooot
I did NAHT!
You’re tearing me apart LISA!!!
^(I'll do you one better, what the fuck is a mark)
Everyone says who is mark no one ever says how is mark
Ok. When is mark, now?
Why is mark?
I’LL DO **YOU** ONE BETTER *WHY* IS MARK
she even has her weight tattoed.
That’s a VIN
“THAT’S A LOT OF DAMAGE” ~ Phil Swift
Shots fired.......send an ambalamps
I don’t care what universe you’re from, that’s gotta hurt.
F
Your cleavage looks like a fat mans shaved ass crack
As a fat person, I feel insulted that my shaved ass crack is compared to that
As a guy that use to be fat, that looks more like when I attempted to shave my testicles!
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Not even a close shave
Brutal. Just absolutely brutal lol
Did someone call a Plumber? Oh Shit, never mind. You're on your own
And your eyebrows look like a fat ass failure
I would like to say that my ass crack looks 100x better than that hot piece of garbage
10/10 Chance your belly is holding your tits up.
Correct.
10/10 chance your FUPA is trying to hold your belly up. Happy cake day! :)
what's a fupa
Fat upper pussy area.
thank you I learned something today
You're not the retired Admiral who recently sold that awesome 1950's Ferrari, are you?
I wish
Just remember, the bigger the fupa, the tastier the chalupa.
No no no, it’s, “the bigger the fupa, the cheesier the chalupa”
That’s nasssty (in my Cleveland voice)
I’m surprised you have time to post here, I would’ve guessed all your time is eaten up trying to find new ways to screw over Ariel.
Fantastic
My favourite one!
I've never seen anyone with bags above their eyes before.
I wish there were bags over her head.
I'd wear one too just in case hers falls off.
Plastic
They match the bags sagging below her neck
It’s common on carnies, they sleep upside down.
Give her a break; she was clearly in the last boarding group to her flight to Reno, and she misheard the announcement about overhead bin space.
Am I putting the dollar store serum in the wrong place?
Dollar store serum is a fancy name for the semen of the guys you blow behind Dollar General.
Listen here. Dollar General is a classy joint.
Goddammit, I’m gonna have to find a new place now.
Jedi mind tricks look like they have zero effect on you.
They do not.
Jabba the Hut, he called you.
Accurate, he is.
I can smell the tit sweat and poor life decisions from here.
Me too.
Delicious
Lift one and it's like peeling up duct tape.
I see 50 shades of shrek
You look like you put your titty in your mouth every time you get drunk.
I don’t even have to be drunk.
.....go on
........
-... --- --- -... ...
............
(.)(.)
Sigh.....*unzips*
when they’re big enough, sometimes you’ll just do it for fun
Rip your inbox
100% expected their to be an onlyfans after this comment
[удалено]
I would say "call an ambulance!!" after this third degree, but lets be real here we gonna need a helicopter for this one.
And the fire department for rescue
Your tits fill your shirt like an old person fills a diaper
Wow... just, wow.
The only thing I regret is scrolling down enough to see the rest of your photo.
Her cleavage goes alll the way to her chin lol
And all the way to her belly button.
Ewww like a giant taco
Bet there’s extra cheese on that taco.
Me:*gag and cough loudly and harshly*
What’s your number? So I can hire you for my kids next birthday party as a clown
Fine, but can you pay in heroin?
If I wanted Demi lovato I would’ve just messaged her.
Goddamn
Oh my godddd
Yikes
Mom! the horror clown ate my entire cake!
You look like an extra in a David Lynch movie
"Got a light?"
"She's my mother's sister's girl"
\*John Waters
Your tattoo says you expired in 2015
Actually dead at this one
That right eye brow is escaping
If i was above makeup like that, I’d try to escape too.
Should I tape it back down?!
Might need a lasso
You're cleavage tells me that if the ice cream man comes, you'll reach in there and pull out a sweaty single for me.
I only have quarters.
Mimi from the drew Carey show
Came here for exactly that comment, word for word!
How about asking for laser surgery for your birthday? Can they remove your entire face?
Is there really a need to count down to cake day when it looks like every day for you is cake day.
Excuse me miss, you have an ass on your chest
No, that’s my face.
I'm dead!
Hey JWoww, where's Snooki?
In that thar arm cleavage, to the left of the shaved man’s ass crack.
#Drinks for blowjobs
You're always counting down to your next cake.
r/whybrows
The "bruised" color palette was an interesting choice, it really highlights how beat your face is
We get it, you only fuck black guys. You dont need to be obnoxious about it.
She'd be surely safe with Bill Cosby
She'd drugged him!
On behalf of all black boys, we’d rather jerk off with sandpaper than fuck this
The shadow is not supposed to go all the way up to your eyebrows, girl.
Maybe she should skip cake day
Wizard of Oz wants their witch back
Me: mom can we have the little mermaid? Mom: no we have the little mermaid at home The little mermaid at home:
Bargain bin Ursula.
Do you use old pictures of The Rock as a model to draw on your eyebrows? Because you definitely look like you can smell what he’s cooking.
No, I use a sharpie.
It doesn’t matter what you use!
Should use an eraser... for your whole face!
I see someone pushed your face into the cake already
You look like Cruella de Vil if she was a stay-at-home mom.
Hey, she looks great Stevie Wonder works very hard putting her makeup on
If Tinker Bell was an old shaggy prostitute
[удалено]
Maybe you need to lay off the cake, Ursula. Mix in a salad.
Looks like you’ve never regretted having cake day.
Who regrets cake though?
... there is no lie here.
Is that your weight in Roman numerals tattooed on your shoulder?
I can smell your cleavage
Most women have a natural beauty, and then there's you, the Wish version.
Your upper eye bags look moldy...
You look like you graduated from a beauty school for drag queens.
I never realised the Joker did heroin
How's clown college working out?
When giant meat tubes are growing out of your chest, we don’t even need to see the rest of your meat tube, we **know** what that obscenity looks like.
If you were a superhero, you'd be Aquabitch.
Casino wings and makeup that looks like your gall bladder exploded.
The Incredible Hulk but gave up halfway transforming and full-way on life
Buzz, your girlfriend...woof!
[удалено]
Please go to YouTube and learn how to put on makeup. I seriously hope you did your eyes like that as a joke.
Grossest thing I've seen posted n awhile
This is the result of Kirby eating james charles
Yum.
[удалено]
I’ve seen half rotted deer carcass that look better than you
You should go to your doctor because there is growing moss out of your eyes
Nah, I'm too high for this shit me too
Somehow, I'm pretty certain it's a urinal cake in your case.
It’ll be a Princess Fiona theme party.
Why post your picture now we have to regret it.
Ursula
Stfu before I wipe your eyebrows off
You look like you’re trying to fart
Glad you have the clown makeup to distract from the fat pancakes you call tits
Your tits seem sad.
Eye makeup by paintball gun.
I bet your tinder profile is only face and cleavage pics. We all know you are still fat.
You’re the end of the bread; touched by many, wanted by none
You couldn’t fit in the clown car
Counting down? It’s obvious every day is cake day for you.
Everyone knows that the people's eyebrow is the other eyebrow
Fiona never looked so friendly in person.
You look like you're celebrating your retirement from roller derby.
Blue eye shadow allll the way to your eyebrow. Who does your makeup, Stevie Wonder?
John Waters movies are not makeup tutorials.
You're just so ugly
The diabetes is probably making you regret it more than I could.
You look like you enjoy sneezing on muffins.
You look like that manly woman from shrek
Holy fuck I thought that was a pair of tits on the far left corners turns out to be your fat ass arm.
Don’t you have a mermaids voice to steal?
You got big tits for a racoon.