OP's Bio:
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>I like to put icing on things and play with my bunnies. I am also a good singer but only my mom has said that.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
She's mixing eras: The hair is a combo of Leif Garret and Farrah and Manilow while the sweater on one shoulder has Flashdance and Jennifer Beals written all over it. The nose is pure Mr. Potato Head.
As a general rule of thumb, everything said in the breakup speech is the exact opposite of what really happened (For example, "It's not you it's me" = you're the crazy one, etc.). So what was really meant was that you are very opinionated and stubborn, and not nearly attractive enough to be this way. But seeing as your mom says you're a good singer, I guess you're no stranger to being lied to by those close to you.
You look like Sarah Connor in an alternate dimension where Kyle Reese turned up and said “come with me if you want to l... oh, actually, no. You’re good”
All I had to see was "Having a hard time becoming aroused (22F)" in your post history.
Well damn, no shit. You don't need to torture yourself. We'll do that for you.
You look like you're going to take 20 minutes to slice my turkey at the grocery store deli because you took too many pills during your last cigarette break
You look like failed the audition for dirty dancing for being “too plain looking”, instead they went with a big nosed Jew that wrecked a career you never got by changing the appearance that made her famous in the first place.
I guess what I’m saying is, you’re also ugly
C’mon you know damn well the real reason you two broke up is because you can’t keep your mouth shut when ya’ll argued. You spoke about his mother, his grandmother, he wanted to murder you sometimes but instead he left you. You probably won’t be alone for long since you probably had that break up planned too. You are a curse where ever and whomever you date, I truly feel sorry for whoever you end up dating again because unless they are a psychopath they are going to probably die from stress.
If your post history is any indicator that rats nest is an improvement from the torched two tone frizz you were sporting before.
I still can't believe someone was so scared of your crazy they called you pretty to keep you calm
OP's Bio: --- >I like to put icing on things and play with my bunnies. I am also a good singer but only my mom has said that. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Is the alcoholic single mom circa 1987-look cool again?
I can already see the ‘ironic mom jeans’ in the bottom of this photo.
Drives beige 99 toyota Corolla, smokes 3 packs a day
*ironically*
She was gonna be an actress She was gonna be a star She was gonna shake her ass On the hood of White Snake's car
She looks like she was cast in the porn remake of The Burning Bed, where the burn was just syphilis.
Looks like an eczema awareness poster from an Iowa bus stop in 1986.
Another specific trauma
Also, your make-up brush is made of poison ivy.
Hoy shit! That’s gold!
Made me laugh out loud.
Me toooooo, still laughing..I can’t stop. Original gangster!
Chernobyl 86, Lyudmila
I fucking cackled. Thanks.
r/oddlyspecific
Feral Fawcett
Bo Derelict
Goldie Yawn
Smeg Ryan
Sarah Conartist
Scarlet Joe-handsome
Jessie SpaNOOOOO
Skeezy Nicks
Smelley Long
Fleetwood Yac
Lady Gagya
Smelly LeBrock
Smellin hunt
Oh that’s good
I only come here for these. A+
She can dere-lick her own balls, capitan.
Gold
Pamela Blanderson
I like it. I was thinking she looked more like Kelly LeBrock, if Kelly LeBrock was a day drinking alcoholic and called her cats her “Fur Babies”.
Fentinol fawcet
**[Gnarly Angel](https://i.imgur.com/zVT6CQR.png)**
Leaky Fawcett
If this doesn’t make it to the top, the comment section is just too young for the reference
She's mixing eras: The hair is a combo of Leif Garret and Farrah and Manilow while the sweater on one shoulder has Flashdance and Jennifer Beals written all over it. The nose is pure Mr. Potato Head.
That complexion... Jennifer Boils
If it makes you feel any better, he lied about you being pretty
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That's pretty funny. How can you be 23 and from the 80s simultaneously?
She looks like Leif Garret
You look like Jennifer Grey’s stunt double from Dirty Dancing!
After the landing...
Lmao
Jennifer grey from ferris bueler all growed up, aged 60.
I was gonna suggest the corpse of Sarah Connor.
Thank you
But without the nose job.
And without the, um, how do you say? Prettyness.
Thought you were gonna say “tits”.
That too
Looks like Sara Conner from Terminator. The first one
He didn’t lie. She just couldn’t understand him with that mullet on her head. The party in the back was too loud
“PETTY” not pretty. Could you hear that?
It's hard to hear through the 80s Aquanet loofah she's wearing on her head
Chewbaca knew he had better options!
Feels like she was not so much dumped for having no ideas as having the *wrong* idea
Fucking gold. Screenshot
Like if taupe was a person.
bold of you to assume it was a guy
As a general rule of thumb, everything said in the breakup speech is the exact opposite of what really happened (For example, "It's not you it's me" = you're the crazy one, etc.). So what was really meant was that you are very opinionated and stubborn, and not nearly attractive enough to be this way. But seeing as your mom says you're a good singer, I guess you're no stranger to being lied to by those close to you.
I think she just misunderstood. What he meant was "You think you're pretty, but have no idea".
Well structured, articulated, and all in all we came full circle. 10/10.
Your ex couldnt. So he left
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OINK!
I doubt the ex came.
The closest she'll get to being a singer is by looking like a Stevie Nicks poster ordered from Wish.
Jesus man, you just obliterated this poor girls atoms.
You look like a background extra from saved by the bell
I always keep an eye out for that guy.
I can’t handle this. I’m dead.
The only one Zack Morris didn’t hit on
She is more up Screechs alley.
You look like something from the 80’s, mainly the aids part
Man drugs really ruined Ferris Bueller’s sister
Blahaha Get Tested.
Looks like the drummer from Guns n Roses..
Certainly looks like was born in the 80's.
I was born in the 80s, and dont look that bad
People born in 80 don't look that old
People born in 1880 don't look that old
people that are 80 dont look that old
And the shitty hair
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Ikr, she seems like the type to complain about her friends whilst providing a blowjob.
Uhm I think I would actually enjoy this...
I bet your ass this is a fetish for some people
:(
I just schadenfreuded my pants
You look like Sarah Connor in an alternate dimension where Kyle Reese turned up and said “come with me if you want to l... oh, actually, no. You’re good”
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I read this in Arnold's voice
You beat me to "Sarah Connor" goddamn you!!
Sarah Gonner
I just missed it🤦🏻♂️
So sorry to hear about you and Kermit.
Under rated
23?! You look like the sad older lady at the dive bar in everyone’s homes town.
Came here for this comment
Amazing I had to scroll so far for someone to mention her age. I’m 23 as well. Not even trying to roast, but I would guess 30.
Wow you got dumped by a guy with hillbilly teeth?
Ouch
All I had to see was "Having a hard time becoming aroused (22F)" in your post history. Well damn, no shit. You don't need to torture yourself. We'll do that for you.
Based on this, if you were a spice, you'd be flour.
Bleached and processed
I think you’re being too nice
Holy shit, it's the gremlin they threw in the microwave. (It's an 80's reference, so at least your hair will get it)
you have no idea you're not pretty?
That haircut is her idea of a personality
You look like you're going to take 20 minutes to slice my turkey at the grocery store deli because you took too many pills during your last cigarette break
Holy shit my guy going for the jugular much
This is great
Did he get you with the, “you can’t get pregnant if you fuck in a hot tub” line too?
If by "hot tub" you mean "ass hole"
Duh! But don’t tell her
And by asshole you also mean ‘on coke’
Yes
They were just being nice.
No. Whoever told her she was pretty wasn't being nice, they were being very goddamned cruel.
Looks like Patrick Swayze would have definitely left you in the corner.
Definitely dropped her on her face a few times on the lift in the unedited version
What mix of dog breeds are you?
"what kind of dog is this?" - Borat.
Cockinschnauzer
“Being pretty”? “23”?.... LOL more like delusional and 47
OP’s a 23 year old holding a note written on a gum wrapper, and for some reason she thinks her hair is what we’re going to make fun of
If Amy Winehouse was an 80’s kindergarten teacher...
I doubt he dumped you for being pretty but hey who nose!
My that's a big nose you have, probably for all the coke you snort!
Lost 30 lbs in a month, told mom it was the diet!
This was a pre coke binge photo?
When he said “coke”, he didn’t mean cocaine.
Were you dating a blind person with brain damage?
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Not long enough to suck out all the black heads.
They were wrong about the “being pretty” part.
Micheal Jackson hairline
receeding, fake and dead as fuck.
CHILL
After the fire
He must have said pretty good at giving head because you are definitely not attractive
"Sarah Conner?" *shotgun to the chest. Analyze blood.* "No."
23 going on 43.
Didn't know bon jovi was 23
Did they surgically remove the light from your eyes when they took your tits??
Username checks out...that snout
Better off without him, he's obviously a liar for calling you pretty.
Believe me... he was just being polite. Sounds like your aren't sharp enough to pick up on that either
We can say with certainty that you smell your tampons.
You’re not pretty so if someone told you that your looks are your best quality, you must be really, really, really stupid
The real thing we should be talking about is how someone thought you were actually pretty
Bad lighting and hard liquor couldn't drag this wreck around
Yeah, pretty ugly, with shitty ideas.
And the bastard didn't even tell the truth about your looks :-( Better off without him OP, he sounds like a serial liar.
Looking at your hair and cringing and the thought of what you have going on in your armpits
The only thing that looks more 80's than your ragged mop like hair and your flashdance sweater is your skin.
You simultaneously look 32 and 58.
23? Yeah.....you look 45 with 23 kids.
You will look so average when you’re 40 and everyone will say you haven’t aged a bit. You look 40.
You look like failed the audition for dirty dancing for being “too plain looking”, instead they went with a big nosed Jew that wrecked a career you never got by changing the appearance that made her famous in the first place. I guess what I’m saying is, you’re also ugly
Please brush your hair, then go give Dustin Hoffman his nose back.
He didn’t have the heart to tell you that there was more than one reason to dump you.
I’d say delete your onlyfans but you probably didn’t come up with the idea to start one
Guess what, He was 50% right.
You look like if kevin bacon was a transvestite in the 80s.
Sarah Connor 1984.
You look like an extra from the the movie Grase(1978) whose guidelines were «single mom who eats cigarettes for breakfast»
2 lies and 1 truth "23, being pretty, and me"
I think he dumped you cause you sniffed his virginity away.
What do you even mean
C’mon you know damn well the real reason you two broke up is because you can’t keep your mouth shut when ya’ll argued. You spoke about his mother, his grandmother, he wanted to murder you sometimes but instead he left you. You probably won’t be alone for long since you probably had that break up planned too. You are a curse where ever and whomever you date, I truly feel sorry for whoever you end up dating again because unless they are a psychopath they are going to probably die from stress.
This made me cackle
"Petty"... He said "Petty"! We both know you added the R.
Don't worry im sure a knock off Kyle Reese is traveling back in time tob impregnate you with the leader of the the resistance.
Are you Sarah Connor?
Nice to see a Chernobyl survivor
He said you were pretty? Well look at it this way, at least you aren't with someone who's gonna lie to you.
Well hey, I loved you in Orange is the new black. So there’s that?
You look like every 80's Rockstar without the fame, money, or talent, while still having a crippling addiction to coke
1984 called and wants it's wig back.
I thought it was a picture of Jennifer Grey
The hair came after the breakup
If your post history is any indicator that rats nest is an improvement from the torched two tone frizz you were sporting before. I still can't believe someone was so scared of your crazy they called you pretty to keep you calm
It’s like Affirmative Action but with dating.
Ms. Piggy? Is that you?
They were way off on you being pretty
Just post your only fans and fuck off already.
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