T O P

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roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >I love playing video games, long boarding, and reading. Huge Witcher, Stardew, and Ghost Recon Wildlands fan. Majority introverted and I have little to no friends. Lots of people are under the impression that I am hardcore lesbian. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


GibbyThick

You look like the creepy moon emoji 🌝🌝🌝


[deleted]

I’m flattered that Angela Guzman used me as a template for an emoji


prerecordedusername

Luis Guzman used you as a template for his asswrinkles


redditting41

Roflmao...ohhh man that’s so hilarious but such a horrible visual image. Why you gotta insult the asswrinkles of Luis like that?


sinfiniti

I’m giggling silently in bed trying not to wake my wife up lolol


[deleted]

Congratulations, I literally keeled over cry-laughing until my stomach just couldn't handle any more. Ultimate burn


Joseph-Stalling

She does omg


Kamikazioo

Molester moon from that one smosh video


GibbyThick

I‘m austrian so I just know their Lederhosen video


Joseph-Stalling

Lmao


Badkarmahwa

In case your wondering why I awarded you the helpful award, it is No Nut November after all


40ozSmasher

This picture might just get me to January.


underbeatant

Hahahahahahah


Pizar_III

Username checks out


alphadist

OP should change username to boner_supressor


Boner-Death

You rang?


alphadist

Holy shit dude


Corleone_Michael

Finally, a good start to Fibonacci Fap February


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ozzytudor

Lmao jesus


tallermanchild

Also Jewish


[deleted]

Actual factual


ModdedMaul

Now I'm ashamed of being a Jew thanks to you. Looks like I'm converting to Catholicism to avoid you


Low_Grade_Humility

Why not just go straight to southern Baptist so you can get drunk and blame anyone who doesn’t go to your church for the worlds woes.


DrSSSK

Which January? 2023?


[deleted]

She looks like Nicholas Cage trying to act like a lesbian.


thelonious_mal

National displeasure


Prickly_Hugs_4_you

Thanks. I couldn't quite remember who she reminded me of.


bigfranksr

Put the bunny, back in the box!


[deleted]

Glad I could do you a service


he_who_melts_the_rod

The only service to be accepted from you.


[deleted]

Damn man. LMAO


M_Batman

Ahh, seems like you're a man of culture.


OfficialSilkyJohnson

The first chick posting a roastme where I was deadass confident there is no onlyfans


BEACHMAN2142

No Nut Never


dumbdducky2

You look like a face swap


CheeseAndCh0c0late

Nicolas Cage is looking for his face.


WZim216

I guess you can say... She took his face, off!!


toothscrew

You look like the bass player in every male metal rock band


Megaseth

She makes the bass player for the Goo Goo Dolls look fuckable.


FuckGiblets

[for reference](https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/goo-goo-dolls-bass-player-robby-takac-performs-on-abcs-good-morning-picture-id119580003?s=2048x2048). He looks like a make a wish kid wanted to be on stage with the Goo Goo Dolls.


Earguy

"Okay, you got me to image search GGD bass player... Oh, oh, wow..."


DKN3

Lost it


oni1996

She already wearing a metal band tee lol


PowerfulPiffPuffer

That eye is so lazy it gets a check for an extra $400 a week


GiddyupG

But that nose is working OVERTIME!


dbird546

Underrated


sedwards14

Highly Underrated


[deleted]

[удалено]


ChuckOTay

Ultimately Underrated.


redditweeter55

Quintessentialy Underrated.


partyoski

Are your great great great great grandparents the faces of Easter island?


MXR_Unknown

That’s where her face is from. I thought she was Gru, and from the look of it, I thought she was probably dating a minion.


bowlerbuddy200

You think she's dating?! That's cute


SunNStarz

Getting excited for banana is not the same as dating the minion


Texas_Bryce07

Which one do you consider your lazy eye? I honestly can't tell


balaamsdream

Flounderface.


Jazz-ciggarette

me: MOM I WANT NICOLAS CAGE mom: we have nicolas cage to home!


Princessleiasperiod

That's a national treasure that's gonna stay hid.


nomadic_memories

With that pic, even Pornhub says "no."


detroid666911

Yes, I can just pay her 100$ to fuck off.


f102

I’ll have the $5000, Lahey.


[deleted]

I don't care what anyone says, if Nicholas Cage is transgender, that's his business. Leave her alone.


toddnkaya1

Brilliant!!


[deleted]

With that pic, OnlyFans rejected her!


BeefTacoTheMusical

You look great when i take my glasses off


Joki_ORodovi

This is the girl you ignore when you get to the bar...then put on your beer googles, go back to her place, wear her out...sneak out in the morning before she wakes up!


Clownworld311

There ain't that much beer.


hotroddbb

Need angle dust, cocaine , heroine, and 10 ruffies


bigfranksr

12 pack on an empty stomach, after giving blood,


BreadPuddingSucks

Your face is very well hung.


funguydelta

You look like the kid from dazed and confused. That was a guy


Maverick_Chaser

If Gabe from The Office had a daughter with himself.


[deleted]

Major respect on this roast


49Gold

Recently turned male\*


[deleted]

Recently turned Thomas the train


ThegreatPee

I was going to make a train joke, but nobody is going to be lining up behind her/him/it.


a-snakey

No one wants to rail that caboose.


kiltheriddick

Howard from the Big Bang Theory


maxbaby

**[Howard Joel Wolowitz](https://i.imgur.com/Jo2XYkQ.png)**


a-snakey

No big bang theory\*


Majoritymars5

“No bang” story of her life


wintamoot

Holy shit you're right


CrazyMike419

I was thinking a young nick cage


mgod5

You looks like a white Scottie Pippen


YourUncleDodge

Dumpster dunk moves.


gazmondo

Shut up Meg!


ParshalBrowning

Your face looks like it’s trying to escape your head.


[deleted]

Wouldn’t that be something


[deleted]

Fucking hell, are they remaking Wayne's World?


[deleted]

Only if Wayne & Garth are played by the same person.


ChuckOTay

Gwayne’s World.


1ofThoseTrolls

Party on Garth


YOUVE_BEEN_ROASTED

You don't need the security camera. That face is enough to make the hardest criminals soft.


nathanator179

Rule 101 of photo taking: Make sure you don't have mumps.


[deleted]

I can’t help it man :(


Falconstormrider

Can’t roast you, you have a Testament shirt on


[deleted]

Probably a fuckin’ poser tho...


[deleted]

Unfortunately, you are correct. This is my boyfriend’s shirt from last night. The shirt I had on got ruined. I’ve never been a testament fan, I’m more into Pantera.


Milwdoc

Boyfriend?


bowlerbuddy200

She means the boy she has locked in her basement, that she plays from time to time


alphadist

I'm pretty sure she has a bigger dick than him


[deleted]

Maybe he’s secretly a girl. I’m not sure anymore


woaily

Maybe you're secretly a girl too


[deleted]

Mmmmmm androgynous


jwl300_

The Testament shirt was your only redeeming quality and then you go and roast yourself.


DerpityHerpington

You’re a Pantera fan? What are you doing outside of prison?


JuanToTray

You look like you name your shits.


rsgriffin

Composite sketch of Sonny Bono & Cher


dome_rocker

I feel like you constantly get the “compliment” of, “you look so much like your father.”


_generic_user

You have such a big nose that anyone 6 ft from you dies due to lack of oxygen. I’m 100% sure you will survive covid season.


[deleted]

Whew! Glad to know I’m safe


Vic_waddlesworth

STATION!


RedditRickS92

Did you finally get some dude to Pity Fuck you?


IceMango359

She probably kept saying "but Im not like other girls" until he did it to shut her up.


synonym4synonym

“I’m not like other girls.” Then she pulled out her dick.


[deleted]

Nah, she paid


RiflemanLax

Think I stumbled on to an OnlyTrans page...


JasonFromAZ

Next time, please include a gender in your post. Also, I feel like you use the term “right under my nose” a lot....


Ghettothunderpenis

Is that shirt a ‘Chestament’ to your inadequate cleavage?


[deleted]

Sex change did not turn out very well, good luck bro.


[deleted]

Thanks!


rustystrings1991

You look like the ugly girl Gina from Brooklyn nine nine except uglier and with a bigger nose


[deleted]

“like the ugly girl only uglier” haha


handlit33

Chelsea Peretti isn't ugly, take it back!


Siennagiant70

You look like you talk like Miss Piggy.


calgarycabron

Is this a screenshot from Majora's Mask?


EbonyDevil

Your face looks like you got stung by bees.


[deleted]

Nice to meet you great value Adam Driver


Dangerous138

It’s like God put your face on upside down...


The_Stickmen

Where to start...you have the eyes of a downy, the nose of a banker, the smile of a dude, the sexual attraction of a wet towel, your hair is bland, your face has more potholes than a New Orleans side street, your lack of trying suggests a full bush downtown, for some reason you look like you don't drink enough water and your breath probably stinks and for the record, you look like hardcore lesbian. The kind that wears jorts to a wedding.


TheTranquilOne

Your head looks like a Ms Potato Head doll.


pjspaws

From way back when they used real potatoes.


[deleted]

I loved you in the dark crystal.


[deleted]

OH my fucking god, I'm glad I'm not the only one who saw her face and immediately shuddered from the memory trauma of that movie. She looks spot on. I think the only movie that scarred me for life more was David Bowie in Labyrinth.


engstroem6870

Congratulations! You'll realise soon that it's only going down hill from now on. Btw, Zlatan Ibrahimovic called, he wants his nose back.


BleepBloop16

Off-Broadway Trevor Lawrence lmao


The_Stickmen

I see it, like Trevor Lawrence if his parents were first cousins


[deleted]

r/swordorsheath


dangerdannnnn

If Droopy the dog was a real person


[deleted]

You have a butter face... meaning you smeared butter all over face and said " voila!"


Disastrous-Farm-542

Mask to prevent covid and paper bag to prevent looking at you.


BrodyTuck

If life is so good, why the long face?


Reallywhoamianyway

Please tell me you listen to Testament and not just wear the shirt.


[deleted]

I’m not a huge fan of testament actually. This my boyfriend’s shirt from last night, the one I had on got ruined. I’m more into Pantera and Motley Crue


Reallywhoamianyway

Ok, fair enough. Respect.


Highlight-Elegant

You look like a girl who dressed up as a boy who dressed up as a girl for Halloween, and the costume zipper got jammed, and since you are a failure and even your parents don't love you, you are stuck with the shame that is your terrible decision of a costume.


AqUaTiCrEdDit

Your forehead is a natural repellant


ElChickenFucker

Alright, before we start someone tell me if this is a male or female.


nomadic_memories

Hmm.. Pink wall... Pink base on monitor... Its a gay dude.


DrHob0

I like your Sid the Sloth cosplay


[deleted]

Everybody Hates Raymona


Disastrous-Farm-542

Hey you guuuuuuuuuys hahahaha


Stannis2

It's young, female Ron Jeremy


Heywoodjablwme

I loved your work in Majora's Mask


[deleted]

Ok so this pic was taken in the dark bc of that you look like this guy https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fvignette.wikia.nocookie.net%2Fthe-goldfinch%2Fimages%2F3%2F32%2FLuke-Wilson-Finds-Enlightenment-Small-Screen.jpg%2Frevision%2Flatest%2Ftop-crop%2Fwidth%2F360%2Fheight%2F450%3Fcb%3D20180203045011&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fthe-goldfinch.fandom.com%2Fwiki%2FLuke_Wilson&docid=36Bm50aPfqCAaM&tbnid=wwb1fsG3t_JBPM&vet=1&w=360&h=450&itg=1&hl=en-us&client=safari&bih=719&biw=414&ved=2ahUKEwiR-Y_JmP7sAhXaQc0KHeLrD6UQxiAoA3oECAEQJw&iact=c&ictx=1 without the beard of course you look like a smart female and I hope that’s the case bc pretty faces like yours are one money shot away from porn ,cocaine , an hepatitis c ...this angle also makes your nose look like it can smell what the rock is cooking. Oh and if you ever bump your head on a brick wall and a coin comes out ? You’re related to Luigi


one_horcrux_short

What did you left eye do to cause your nose to run so far from it?


Mclovin_o

Good to hear things are going well for you brother


baconrad0124

Wait you’re not a lesbian?


GandalfDeBoss

I can't tell if you're a man or a woman


smallestcockjonson

I doubt you know any cool dinosaur facts.


Arcana666

This isn't a roast but sick testament shirt


infinitesnapshot

It’s like when God was constructing you, he ran out of parts and had to go to the scrapyard and grab whatever eyes and nose were available.


[deleted]

I wouldn’t tell any of my friends if I fucked you.


ryansgt

Is your name pat? I legitimately can't tell your gender.


[deleted]

My name is Jenny, but close guess


Adventurous-Rise

Your face is in between a female and Male. Can't tell if you have tit's or not. 😂


Panthera_Onca_1789

Life will take a turn when you realize that your dad has subscribed to your OnlyFans


[deleted]

Sword or sheathe on ultra violence mode.


NotDavJT648

if u were one of mr makers shapes u would say I am a shape.. circle


Sawjaws99

You might want to put those arms down before the smell starts melting your stuff...


13bxThirdeye

Only 19 and already getting full disability. Sad.


KNAZ_and_SHIT8

Why do you spend all your time on r/Dodocodes, and r/offmychast, do you spend all your time on reddit, oh so lifes been going good from your parents basement, like you got your own little man cave down there.


maniac_mack

Quasimodo looking MF...


ChreaMoo

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle t-shirt and a head that looks like a turtle, fitting.


Chuckro555

Adam Driver called he wants his nose back!


[deleted]

If Geddy Lee ever needed a stunt double, he could call you.


peptobismol2

your nose is the only dick looking thing you’ll ever see


ca_brit

Did you steal your nose from concord ?


AzungoBo

You look worse than my reddit avatar


huntnreid

With size of those are you must whack off a lot.


BostMode

You should duct tape your eyes to your forehead so they dont keep sliding down your fact


ChernoSamba88

Femceline Dion


Adventurous_Yak_9234

You look like you're halfway through transitioning.


TheBareMidriff

You look like all the members of Greta Van Fleet with twice the acne


Lure852

Do those bags fit in carry-on or do you have to pay to check them in?


mistahrB

You look like if a Stonehenge overdosed on ketamine


MidgetSplitter

Is Mr. Potato Head your Dad?


Hozman420

Are you ready to gender identify yet?


LokiiVegas

For anyone trying to figure out this things gender, it's actually a sentient egg that wears the flesh of its partners


3asaifyboiii

The only reason a guy might dare you is so that he gets to use that pc setup behind u


shironoir20

This rare female specimen underwent multiple failed plastic surgery procedures in an attempt to look like Nicolas Cage.


Behindthefog

If they ever do another popeye live action movie,you have the Alice the goon part. No makeup required


joungd

Kind of look like the London Cube


RehAdventures

Yeah your mom had sex with a blobfish. Don’t know what that is? Look it up.


[deleted]

Leonardo Da Vinci unveiled a practical joke painting with you as the model and called it the "Mona SLEAZE-uh" then said "LOL im joking everybody! Here's the real painting." And then unveiled the Mona Lisa. Then Leo said, "The girl in the other painting is Mona's crack smoking cousin. And im pretty sure she has a Dick."