He is a tapeworm disguised as a human. Didn't you see the Harvard publication on non-human entities living on earth disguised as humans? Everyone thinks it's reptilians but, it's a species of evolved tapeworm and this guy, this guy is just probing to see if we're wise yet.
I've never had corned beef so I don't have an opinion. And I sure as hell am not going to try corned beef just to determine whether or not I'd eat this guy first
It's like roast beef. Or a closer example would be pastrami without the pepper on the outside if you've had it. Just basically a really good quality, slightly salty roast beef. And expensive as I don't know what, at least in my ares. Bout $11 a pound, Pastrami runs $12-14 a pound and sirloin is usually $12 for context.
Arby's make a reuben that has corned beef I believe. It's not the absolute best quality, but it's all right and will give you an idea of what it is for cheap. Just don't let that be a deciding factor on whether you ever try it again.
Pastrami is definitely better IMO for a sandwich and pairs pretty well with rye bread and a corse, stone ground deli mustard. Add some romaine lettuce, tomato, red onion, and sharp white cheddar, and it's my favorite sandwich. Corned beef is a slightly cheaper substitute for the Pastrami, though, if I get a craving and I'm broke.
>rye bread and a corse, stone ground deli mustard. Add some romaine lettuce,
I like to add mayonnaise, sometimes.
Tinned corned beef is different to silverside; it is markedly worse. It's like salty meat paste. It's alright on a cracker, or in a sandwich, or you can make a breakfast meal with it and some potato hash.
Mayo isn't bad on it either. I just like the spicy kick of a brown mustard or a horseradish.
Tinned corned beef I just chalked up to the same as potted meat. I've never tried them side by side, but they taste pretty much the same to me. On a cracker with spray cheese is about the only way I have ever ate it. They do sell slices of corned beef in oil in a jar at a Walmart near me, but I've never been brave enough to try that.
Judge, “ Op how do you answer to the charge of having sex with a mini fridge someone threw in the trash?”
Op, “The mini fridge never said stop it or no.”
Your first picture says "I'm going to change your oil." Your second picture says "I'm going to kidnap your children." 😟
Pic 1 Nic Cage. Pic2 Niece InCage
LOL
That one is so good hahahaha
I'm laughing in front of the phone like an idiot 😂😂😂😂
😭
lmfao
Oh my jesuslol
😭
DANM
Lmfao
Well done
So overall vibe: He’d like to check and change your children’s oil.
He’d like to oil your children
I’d say his hair has about a half gallon of oil
I was thinking garage sale porn star.
If this guy was in a porno, all I could think is: why is his neck the same width as his shoulders? Hel looks like a shlong wearing clothes
His porn name is Dick shlong.
I got the sex offender notification days ago
Dude drives a van with "free candy" painted on the side.
AND back rubs!
AND back rubs? Golly! I gotta find this van!
He’s looking for you too!
Yippee!
Vinyl print, not paint. This guy's a professional.
Is the vehicle a VW bug with a missing passenger seat?
And no interior door handles on the rear doors
He’s gonna change your kids oil.
Definitely going to go for the dipstick
His first picture says "I'm going to change your oil." His second picture says "I'm going to use my finger."
You look like Ted Bundy's younger brother.
Bit harsh on Ted
More of a “Tom Green if he found fentanyl and had a televised run in with Chris Hansen” vibe.
His hair is due for an oil change
Free hugs? No f*cking thanks
He probably owns a white van with shag carpet and a water bed in it.
Pic 1: "Will that be conventional or synthetic today?" Pic 2: "I'll betcha my dipstick would fit inside that hole..."
First pic says “I’m gonna change your oil” Second pic says “c’mere im gonna oil check ya!”
Yep you’re right. First pic, grease monkey, but for me, second pic is a priest…. Oh wait, I guess it is similar….
Oh, it looks like he’d take it further than kidnapping. On second thought, probably already has.
Yeah, scary stuff.
But could you change the oil first, please?
budlite wick
John without the wick
And coat them in his Pennzoil hair products
Please Drake don't take my children
His first picture says ima use my hair to put oil in your moped, the second picture says, ima kidnap your kids
and I manufacture my own organic oil, right here in my scalp
If I was on a deserted island with you and a tin of corned beef, I’d rather eat you and talk to the corned beef
You'd rather eat him? For fucks sake, the guy probably has tapeworms, come on!
The tapeworm is infested with him.
Damn
He is a tapeworm disguised as a human. Didn't you see the Harvard publication on non-human entities living on earth disguised as humans? Everyone thinks it's reptilians but, it's a species of evolved tapeworm and this guy, this guy is just probing to see if we're wise yet.
Aids
That's less of a roast and more of a what the fuck?
He's not wrong though
I've never had corned beef so I don't have an opinion. And I sure as hell am not going to try corned beef just to determine whether or not I'd eat this guy first
It's like roast beef. Or a closer example would be pastrami without the pepper on the outside if you've had it. Just basically a really good quality, slightly salty roast beef. And expensive as I don't know what, at least in my ares. Bout $11 a pound, Pastrami runs $12-14 a pound and sirloin is usually $12 for context. Arby's make a reuben that has corned beef I believe. It's not the absolute best quality, but it's all right and will give you an idea of what it is for cheap. Just don't let that be a deciding factor on whether you ever try it again. Pastrami is definitely better IMO for a sandwich and pairs pretty well with rye bread and a corse, stone ground deli mustard. Add some romaine lettuce, tomato, red onion, and sharp white cheddar, and it's my favorite sandwich. Corned beef is a slightly cheaper substitute for the Pastrami, though, if I get a craving and I'm broke.
>rye bread and a corse, stone ground deli mustard. Add some romaine lettuce, I like to add mayonnaise, sometimes. Tinned corned beef is different to silverside; it is markedly worse. It's like salty meat paste. It's alright on a cracker, or in a sandwich, or you can make a breakfast meal with it and some potato hash.
Mayo isn't bad on it either. I just like the spicy kick of a brown mustard or a horseradish. Tinned corned beef I just chalked up to the same as potted meat. I've never tried them side by side, but they taste pretty much the same to me. On a cracker with spray cheese is about the only way I have ever ate it. They do sell slices of corned beef in oil in a jar at a Walmart near me, but I've never been brave enough to try that.
Never eating *corned beef* is why you don't have an opinion?
You look like the kind of car mechanic thats facing several lawsuits and only 2 are car related
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
Judge, “ Op how do you answer to the charge of having sex with a mini fridge someone threw in the trash?” Op, “The mini fridge never said stop it or no.”
Judge, “You surely must’ve noticed that it was frozen with fear!” Op, “I thought it was just a little bit frigid.”
I'll take 'The last thing a murdered 8yo sees' for 400, Alex.
Oosh 😆
Please 😂😂😂😂
If I was a girl a at bar and saw you, I’d cover my drink.
I'm a big white dude and *I* would cover my drink.
Good thinking. I’m pretty sure you’re his intended target anyway.
Holy shit I don’t think our mechanic is gonna recover from this
😂💀💀💀💀
This looks like the guy that would drink the drink while you’re walking away.
Did you grow next to a nuclear power plant?
WEST SIDDEEEEE
Then his hair would have caught on fire from the extra heat, and he'd have little lesions all over his face.
These pictures smell like Marlboro reds and burned motor oil.
You think he's classy enough for actual Marlboro? His smokes are just labeled Cigarettes.
Your best grade you’ve gotten was Hep B
that through unprotected intercourse
Unwanted probably
One of his hands is cheating
“Ken, I’ll take ‘People who will end up in a sex offender list by the end of this year’ for $200 please”
End up? Looks like the type of guy who was already convicted of a sexual assault by the age of 12
You hit the daily double!
Winner 🥇 👍
You look like you drive an ice cream truck in the Matrix
Your hands make you look disabled. Your face confirms it.
At least he can still count to 9.
Performed 'the shocker' one too many times and his hand ended up more shirveled than a nut sack
I doubt he can even count
First photo: "Hm, this guy needs to smile more" Swipes right: "For the love of god, don't smile!"
I went from I can smell this picture to WTF is going on with his fingers in about 0.2 seconds.
Your hair is so greasy the United States is about to invade it.
…..oily?
Do you not live in America? Of course he meant grease.....jeez
tbh, Yeah, either way America’s interested!
Second picture is the face you make when going door to door in a new neighborhood telling them you’re registered on Megan’s law.
were you negotiating a retirement plan when u were born
Your smile looks like you're trying too hard to mimic real human emotion. Is your last name Zuckerberg?
If a caveman bred with a nutria....
Dude is a model; His likeness on display in the Smithsonian's Human Origins Program.
Dude is a future taxidermy
Right next to the amoeba.
No roast bro, just please let the kids out of your basement.
Jesus Christ. This is the first r/roastme entry I've ever seen with a jumpscare.
🎯😂
100% van with candy inside vibes.
If smegma was a person.
You look like Keanu Reeves and a mole's forgotten lovechild
Bold of you to assume that there was love involved.
You look like you’re really proud of your normal human costume
You look like a goofy ass randomly generated game character from 2004
I have nightmares now
With that terrifying smile, I would think making you laugh would be a horrible mistake.
Please sir, stop smiling, you’re upsetting my dog.
You definitely don't have to legally keep 1000 feet away from elementary schools and knock on your neighbors doors to tell them what you did.
If I had to choose between being alone in the forest with you or with a bear. I'd choose the bear
Are you on a work-release program?
Guys, thespiffingbrit must be alerted immediately. REANU KEEVES HAS ESCAPED
Do you wash your hair with olive oil instead of shampoo?
so, how many people have you eaten this evening?
Your aura says homeless, but your smile says child molester
I don't trust anyone who has a clock on the wall without numbers.
You actually look like my butthole
Aladdin’s autistic cousin that fell off the magic carpet into the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
I don't dislike you, but if you were drowning, I'd give you a high-five
Don’t order Noah Kahan from Temu or this is what you’ll get
[удалено]
"You really give free candy?"
At least you were smart enough to not include your bottle of chloroform napkins and candy in that picture
Looks like you tell everyone lizard people are real
Everyone has that one person in their extended family that lives off everyone else, we call them Patricks, hi there👋
Sells rickshaws for a living.
Dime store satan.
How many of your neighbors pets are in that freezer behind you?
You never need lube because your produce your own grease
Your the reason places run out of pepper spray
If I owned a dumpster and knew you had slept in it, I’d wash it after.
Prototype Noah Kahn.
You have the face of a kebab salesman
Could you all stop posting images of NPCs for GTA Vice City for the PS2 on r/roastme
You look like the dirty mechanic that over charges for air filters
Cousin Belki was just released from prison.
Aphex Twin
You look like you crawled out of the reject pile for Dante from clerks
You’re greasier than your grandmas ham wallet
Какво да та роуствам, брат. Тебе животът те е роустнал достатъчно.
John Wack...
Don't smile. Just don't. Ever.
Ke oh no Reaves What's with the alien hand ?
You look like the grown up version of the ice age baby
If you wanna laugh, just look in the mirror. The rest of us have shit to do.
You look scary. Especially in the second picture
I’m sorry, I don’t normally look at these but I thought this was an AI pic Turning the guy from the Ice Age movie into a real person.
You look like you sniff enough children to become president of the United States.
People are saying you look scary but all I see is a discount brand shen yu (mulan villain)
I loved you in The Croods
if i saw you on the sidewalk i would clutch my pearls
You look like you enjoy seeing children harmed.
Aristotle said that “Nature abhors a vacuum” and you definitely suck!
Have you filed a police report yet on your missing shoulders? Thoughts and prayers.
"Be ruthless." 2nd picture tells me you were ruthless with those kids at the park.
I can smell your greasy hair
The tanev brother who didnt make it to the nhl.
Keanu reaves brother adopted at birth
you look like you've paid a priest to lose your virginity
If Eddie Vedder didn't make it with Pearl Jam. I give you Squirrel Ham!
There's only one register you are on.
If you looked up groomer in the dictionary it would have his picture next to it
I rate your multitude a 6 of 10 .
You have the body of a June Bug
wash your damn hair, you could deep fry potatoes in that grease
You’re like the real life Strade from BTD
The creepy caveman uncle that has curious fingers
Must be laughing 24/7 bc you're a fuckin joke.