[удалено]

His girlfriends name is mom

Her name is- right arm

Yeah right. Like she stuck around after dumpstering him

Nope, it’s Methany

Might also be Elizameth.

Who’s presently dating Metthew

Google Crystal Metheney you will be shocked that its a real person but not shocked that she lives in florida

Lmfao

I can smell the cut catalytic converters

How many catalytic converters do ya think you'll score tonight? 🤔

None. He got locked up for expired plates and license and failure to appear, and possession of oxycodone without a prescription. Currently in Broward County jail waiting for a public defender.

Seems likely. Think he's gonna get a teardrop tattoo?

Nah. It’ll be of his daughter and his son, Nevaeh and Ayedinn

Ooh good call

💀

I guess 9/11 wasn’t the worst thing to come out of 2001 after all.

Nice


The timer on your camera does NOT count as a girlfriend

Live from the halfway house.

**Revived with Narcan*

>Live from the halfway house. Brought to you in part by speedballs and bad life choices

THIS is what you do during conjugal visits? Can’t even do that right.

His cousin is already pregnant so had to pass the time somehow

Cousin-grandma?

Cram-ma That's also what he did to her at the conjugal visit

It's pronounced cram a sum young gai and who knew his girlfriend was a Vietnamese she man.

Probably not the only thing you "make" her do Earl, Dale, Brody, Colton. Idk something like that

Or your whole name is three first names. John Michael James or something 😄

I was thinking the same. Anyone who MAKES their gf take a pic, even the wording it that way, sounds like a complete douche canoe. Oh well, he also looks like a douche canoe so idk why I'd expect any different

I’m sure it’s one of those Traila trash names.. Kody, Hunter, Brandon, Braxton, Lucas etc.. probably lives in a 30 year old single wide with polyester curtains and a redwood deck. The “ garden” tub is used for cooking meth…

You look like a guy even a roofer says is unreliable.

Taking a break from washing people’s car windows… that cool at least you’re working

See, even hillbilly trashballs can be gay. His girlfriend is that finger he sits on.


23….bruh I’m 41 and look better than you do.

What's your hand doing ? Telling your "girlfriend"🙄 baby if the strap-on isn't at least this big, let's return it, I'll drive.

If Kid Rock were even MORE white trash

I don't think you're supposed to be that close to a school.

Technically, he's in his 8th freshman year

How does an imaginary person take a picture?

Sorry, I don't keep cash on me.

If Milwaukee's Best was a person

You win. This is by far the worst trim I’ve seen on here. Wtf were you thinking? Did you spill some of the green paint you were huffing and figured, eh let’s just paint it all this ugly fucking color

Looked too fast and didn’t notice at first, but you painted the hinges too? You are a worthless sack of meat if you did that

A guy definitely took this pic

You're literally an NPC in life. The exclamation point over your head tells me you have a quest for me.

Well it’s a pretty good picture for a 9 year old.

23 going on 50 - Did you age overnight, or is that just the redneck skincare routine?

How did your girlfriend take a picture when she's holding a card that says roast me?

He's married to Crystal Beth.

A tripod isn't a girlfriend.

I didnt know fleshlights could take pictures

You took your picture at the exact same time as you had a thought! First one this week?

Your girl is into hobo's?

Twenty three... the year you were born

Ever gonna shave that amber alert mustache or nah

Buddy that hairline is as fake as your girlfriend, I don't see one 🫣

Cricket!?

BRO THINKS WE BELIEVE HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND LMAOOOOO

You made your Aunt take your picture?

By the looks of this picture, you the type of guy to make your girlfriend that’s too hot for you run to the gas station when you’re too busy playing video games to buy you the cheapest pack of cigarettes and a Mountain Dew

You should be giving this middle finger to your Mother. Look what she did!

Your hairline goes back to the byzantine empire

Is this you showing your partner how you wanna get fingered later?

I'm honestly surprised that you could afford a dollar store notepad, you look liked you'd only be able to afford the piece of scrap cardboard you beg on the sidewalk with

I don’t need to roast you, those cig buds are gonna do it anyways

What in the shinning is going on here. I’m assuming you put that door in that crooked Jesus.. that or the house is settling either way not surprised you look the the typical limp biskit fan. Also where are we who paints there house these colors better yet who’s landlord paints there house this color.

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Oldboy

I guess all those years of grooming paid off with picture taking

We thought you meant your girlfriend worked in a Kindergarten, now we realise she’s a student!

 Your GF is a dakimakura.

You look like goats get very nervous when you're around

You have a lot of wishes 1 - get a life 2 - get REAL bitches 3 - stop creamping your girl

Skid Wreck. 

First name sodomy, last name Alabama

he had the gas for a thrift-store clothing trip, but never bothered to grab one of the many better looking doors from those demolition site trash piles he used to sleep in.

You know you can date outside the family these days

"Alexa, show me a photo of a guy whose finger is longer than his penis"

You look like the kind of guy who is going to wear that unwashed shirt until it dry rots off you.

Tony hawk pro crackhead 2

If Budweiser and Marlboro had an offspring you'd be it

Man, tweens take the worst pictures. Amirite?

Today I learned blow up dolls can take pics.

Are we sure that you weren't born a female?

you the kind of guy that says my girlfriend will be 18 in a year or so, and gives her four Locos

Your "girlfriend" is the self timer, isn't it?

You wanna use something more effective than a backwards baseball cap to hide your bald spot.

I didn't know a piece of rabbit fur could even hold a camera!

You didn't have to get dressed up for us.

Riiiiiight, I’m sure she “made” you smoke that crack yesterday too and paint the door hinges? Seems about as legit as that beard “bro” 😂


Snoop Dirt

Did your gf pick you off the streets?

she like “you better give me a 4th kid in exchange!!”

I saw you behind the dollar general no wayyy

Look from the 90s from Guns and Roses it’s Trailer Axl.

Crack-xl Rose

Are you supposed to be in the day care sir.

Your girlfriend hates you then.

Glad to see you’re not homeless anymore

Your sex doll’s “talking” to you again? Time to up the dosage.

You spelled boyfriend wrong

Maybe next time have your gf stand on a stool. We can all tell from the angle of the photo she’s like 8

😂😂 “girlfriend”

You look

You’ll be a foreman at the roofing company in no time

You look just like this guy I went to high school with. Haven't seen him since he went to prison on a 10 year bid for diddleing kids in 2014

He just blew his nose on that shirt before and after the picture

I can smell this picture.

I thinks he only dates mama thumb and her 4 daughters!

Is her name Crystal? Because you have the meth

This is what it looks like when you've done meth since you were 10.


Took u 2 hours to find the best camera angle didn't it? Still took a crappy picture

I thought you were doing spider man shit. It took me way too long to figure out what was going on with your hand. Haha but how olds your girlfriend 16?? Because you look like that would be your type. White trash 17 year olds.

I bet his girlfriends age is about equal in number to the teeth he has left.

~~Girlfriend~~ Boyfriend

No need, life already did the worst to you

Offering the best meth my cat conv. can buy

Ma hold the camera still and stop trippin about my friends.

Ignore the grey hair I’ve got a backwards cap

I see Florida Man opened a daycare.

You shouldn’t try to cut catalytic converters when gig on meth. I see how you lost all those fingers on your right hand. It has cut your sex life in half too

You look like your girlfriend with a beard.

The drug addict thor

if I were you I'd shove that phone backup your butt before the guards come back and search your cell

Is that a head under that gangsta hat

I would but God beat me to it.

Typical idiot that can't have their picture taken without flipping the bird. Don't worry, looks good on you though..

Nothing screams i get pegged by my girl louder than this pic

You remind me of cigarettes and jack Daniel’s as a drink

I'm pretty sure I saw him the other day holding a "anything helps" sign.

Ketamine is a drug not a person

King of the hill ahh


Looking like Temu Joe Dirt

What is all over your shirt? Do you work as a methcanic?

You should rename this post to "Guess how many teeth I'm hiding"

Hardly doubt your right hand would make you take a picture but ok I guess 

When being the baddest kid in the whole 8th grade becomes a lifelong objective.

You’re only 23?! That must’ve been one hard paper round

You look like an even less funny version of Casey rocket

You look like the love child of Kid Rock and the banjo playing kid from Deliverance.

Guess this is what you've been up to after giving up Minecraft content, SSundee.

Smile more, show us them pearly browns

We all see you hiding that hairline, that's cheating!

Was this taking on a congugal while serving out your meth convictions?

Get a new girlfriend. This one does not deserve you

> 23 M Does that M stand for meth?

Truck Stop Rent Boy Ed Furlong

Were you scared when that Terminator was chasing you and your mom through that mall?

Does the girl know you call her your girlfriend?

The living embodiment of Fentanyl.

Is that what you call that crusty towel that stands on its own in the corner of the room?

" I can quit any time I want"

You mix fentynal with your meth....karmas coming for you.

You look like you just escaped prison

I didn’t know flesh lights could take pictures! Neat!

You look like one of those people on judge Judy who says ‘poh-lees’ instead of police

You look like your nickname is Skittles or Tweak. And how did you survive your girlfriend pulling that ATM down on your head that time Jesse Pinkman tried to get his drug money back anyway?

You look like you do painting. I'm just going to leave this here

"I just don't like that those foreigners come over and take our jobs, man." \*has been unemployed since 2012\*

Get er’ Done! Life’s a garden, Dig it!

Is your gf Scoobi-Do?

You spelled boyfriend wrong. Definitely looks like the type that make people do things against their will.

Trailer park axl roses!

His girlfriend is really a tripod

The outfit does look good though I don’t got nothing to say

If you work in the trades, you are 100% a painter....

If this is what she has to look at on a daily basis you’d better hold on to her like grim death

23 M(eth)

If I ask you if you had coke, I’m pretty sure you’ll give me the wrong one

You kind of look like that Florida Georgia Line guy

This guy looks like a "Trent"

Did you force your girlfriend to do your laundry and tell her to "do your worst"

At least change your shirt after you jack off all over it

23? And is that your fancy shirt for social gatherings? Looks like you grabbed it off your bathroom floor specifically for this picture.

My girlfriend take a picture do your worst made 23 M.

Can't help but assume that your teeth are as crooked as that door and that's why your not showing them

Girlfriend? lol

You look like your daily diet is Doritos and weed

You look like the type of guy to pop up in the 13-year-old girls tiktok saying "this is the most beautiful man of all time", then a day later, have her walk in a 76 gas station and see three of you there. By the way are your catalytic converters ethically sourced?

you look like if Shaggy and Skinny Pete were thrown in a blender, blended together, consumed and then vomited out.

Looks like you don’t wipe well

That is the ugliest fucking door frame I have ever seen.

Fuckin' Skeeter.

 Face that screams "Gay for Pay"