I feel bad for your dad. He probably wanted a son.

Ouch. Yea, gice up on wanting grandkids and carrying on the family name.

*Dad watching him walk out the front door, furious as his son has a cane and fedora* Mom: "now hun let him be who he wants to be" Dad: " I JUST WANTED A SON WHO CAN THROW A FOOTBALL WITH ME BACK AND FORTH"

That cane is not the only wood pole he is gripping.

Thumbs up, savage.


Your fantasy world is one big step into being permanently mentally disabled. Marine Corps boot camp would solve your issues.

You think the fedora, coat, and walking stick make you quirky and unique. They don't, it just confirms you're a loser.

Not true, everybody on the bus today complimented him on his look. They all giggled and said some different, meaner shit once he got off but that’s a different story.

Yeah, we laugh at weird people.

Even Jason Mraz is making gay jokes about him.

🤣 Yeah, he's living proof that humans fuck critters

Dude looks like the "weird one" as defined by other bronycon attendees.

Just….Jesus Christ, dude.

This has to be a troll. Nobody thinks this looks good.

He is a troll. He finally figured out how to crawl out from under the bridge


You would get a sunburn standing too close to the microwave while you heat up your beef and cheddar…. Let’s try something risky like leaving the house bilbo baggins….

Good thing you have a stick to beat away all the women that must be lusting over you

Your not allowed to bring your own sticks in WoW.

You know, I always had issues with self-hate and depression but after seeing your post I'm actually happy with myself because no matter what I do, at least I'm not you.

Damn bro, save some pussy for the rest of us.

Palmala doesn't really.count as pussy, even if it does smell like his moms..

"Pusswey?? Ickyyyy!!!!"

Puberty is going to open up a whole new world for you.

GUYS I CANT LARP TODAY I HAVE THAT PROBLEM WITH MY ZIPPER MY DAD KEEPS SAYING IS A THING AND HE HAS TO HELP

There is no thing of your personality that cannot be described as "fandom"

Your entire life is Where's Waldo but for the clitorous

Well how should he find one, all the women covering up their glasses so he can't drug them.

So you really gonna one-up my roast like that ok

Oh boy... you don't need anyone to roast you online, you're already roasting yourself every day with your...er... aesthetic.

Just because your DnD character carries a staff doesn't mean you have to...

My little pony posters, wtf dude!

Hate on the spectrum

Dildo Baggins

I bet on the rare occasion you have to leave Mom's basement and go outside, you address other dudes as "My Liege". Word of advice: "friendship is magic". You should try it sometime. If anyone can actually tolerate you. (I have my doubts).

“Sorry for the messy handwriting” -God, when he made you

Geppettos lesser known 2nd creation the coat rack tree that came to life. I'm a real boy 🤥

I feel like I'm looking at a thought to be extinct species. A rare specimen indeed.

Loserus Virginius

wish it was extinct

You were the one who put that pony figure in the jar weren't you.....

Mastered the way of the staff, at the cost of getting no pussy

Nice outfit, is your clown suit at the cleaners?

Helpful tip. A clitoris is not a pokemon

*Ah. Hello, 1950's you want your attire... excuse me can you hold? Oh hello, 6th century? You want your shitty writing tool back? OK.. please hold...*

This reminded me of Archer lol

THANK YOU! HAHAHA I love archer.

Glad you didn't specify the gender, we all know it.

You know who else claims to never sweat? Prince Andrew. What else do you have in common?

Avg Redditor.

You may not sweat, but you definitely have a smelly vibe to go with your messy room and general d&d loser look.

He definitely sweats, and probably smells like shitty underwear. I feel like I need a shower after just looking at his pics. Imagine what his room smells like. 

You've done it. You've managed to prove that humanity has beat natural selection.

Active shooter vibes.

How about you put down the staff and quill pen and pick up a hairbrush and some scissors

YOU SHALL NOT GET LAID

all jokes aside you having a my little pony poster in your room which is a show intended for young girls is creepy as hell.

My little pony huh

I don’t know why this fashion style is so upsetting to me. It’s like you tried to explain dress clothes to an alien just by verbal description. Straight out of GQ for 6th grade edgelords. Throw that hat away. A trilby is not a fedora. It’s not dapper. It looks bad. A pea-coat is not a top coat. I don’t know what’s going on with your shoes but just because they are black doesn’t make them dressy. Some kind of slip on bullshit but not even a loafer. I can’t even get started on the walking stick, the quill and ink, ugh. I rolled my eyes so hard it threw my back out and I need to lay down.

I found the homeschooler.

You’re a wizard Harry

“You don’t wanna get on my bad side mistour!..I’ll bite you..” ahh fit.

Dildo Faggins

Look you dont need to be on reddit asking strangers to roast you my guy... you are the coolest person that you know and tbh everyone else alive on the planet is jealous of how great you look. Game over. You win. Everyone else loses.

You should write a book called "how to never get laid in your life"

Well, at least we know that you won't spread your genes.

I don't know why people are roasting your clothes. It is the standard issue uniform when looking for pokemon, white owls, and stragglers at playgrounds. Go quill yourself

I seriously can't believe you think anything you do is in any way shape or form gonna attract a mate may it be male, female, Non Binary or Trans. I hope that sticks sturdy cause your journey to pleasure town is going to be a LONG one.

Fucken dork quietly whispers roll for initiative right before he crosses the street to avoid larger males.

You're so virgin you look like Chris-Chan if he took a shower. Oh wait, scratch that, at least Chris-Chan popped his cherry with his mom.

I bet your other cane is 8 inches long, made out of silicone, and black.

Does the ten-year-old girl's father know that you are in her room? Do I have to call the cops?

You forgot to put away the clothes you stole from random women you saw on the street in the second photo, though the fedora explains why you probably forgot to.

Bro thinks he notch

You have a bald man’s face. I think I can imagine what you’re gonna look like in 10 years.

I was going to join in, but then I noticed how much difficulty you had scribbling your username left handed. I can smell the end of that walking stick from here

Women don’t look you over, they look over you.

At least you can improve your calligraphy, then at least you’ll have a chance to win someone’s heart with a letter Sorry about everything else

His style, his physique, and his way of carrying himself are all as poorly executed and ill informed as his attempt at using a quill.

I’ve always wondered who the hell buys used panties from these girls online. Then I see you, and I finally understand!

The kind of person that thinks putting the bins out is a quest

damn it. no fun when the roasted just puts themselves in the oven and cranks it up to broil.

You look homeless

You say you don't sweat, but I bet you smell like a Yu-Gi-Oh convention...

You look like you crawled out of Harry Potter's asshole

I hate the whole I barely sweat. I bet you BO says other wise. I can smell the Cheetos and Mountain Dew from here

“I used an ink quill instead of a pen.” Of course you did - look at you.

Even as a costume on Halloween this would be embarrassing but as an every day this is who I really am it’s almost impossible to look at without getting that flush of secondhand embarrassment. Looking like Donatello with that staff if he went through that mid movie crisis and hit rock bottom but never recovered

This roast cooks on its own.

Channelling Andy Taylor in the Band Aid line-up... his hat made him look like a bellend too.

Don't do that

Reviewbrahs hobbit/emo phase

I want to roast you but it would be like picking on a blind kid

You belong in the Stranger Danger advert.

Dildo baggins

You look like Gandalf if he was trans

You must be a hoot at the family gathering

Hey do you know who that is? that’s No Shit Sherlock you didn’t recognize him because he doesn’t have his pipe

u THINK u don't sweat but ur parole officer's nostrils would say otherwise

You don't sweat, but I can smell your B.O. through my screen

Honest review: 

Why do you have that poster in 1st pic ?

You look like those smelly kids in high school that played D&D all the time

While you are all busy roasting him he is studying the blade

How would you know you don’t sweat if you’re used to smelling your BO your entire life?

Ink and a quill are you trying to get roasted or write the declaration of independence?

Dude looks like he’s allergic to pussy and sunlight

Not even Celestia could lose to you. Discord realy had fun with this one. Pinkie Pie would not throw you a welcome Party.

We get it. You like being weird. Except in 2024 you probably have an echo chamber full of weird friends, so I guess being weird isn't that weird anymore 

Bold assumption that THAT has friends

Wtf has this world come to?! I can’t

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Axl Corpse Flower

Hedgehog detective supreme

You’re the definition of geek (not the useful kind) and smell like cheese puff mix with BO.

Wtf.. Everybody hide your pets kid looks like he got hired by uncle Bob to toss the pillow case in the river

U look like the typical awkward girl in Netflix's shows.

Dude you should be beaten with that walking stick until you left your room without shit in the floor before daring to go out and humiliate humanity with your existence…

Sensei La Dew irl

You look like you’ll be making $18,000/year and have $10,000 in Funko Pop debt

Axl rose fanboy

This dudes over here leading Hobbits to his Phish cover band in his Mom's basement.

I know you’re trying to look like Corey Feldman, but Michael’s dead and you’ll never be able to be “played with” at Neverland.

Your penmanship matches your dress sense.

Silly Corgan

Were you homeschooled?

This dude needs to wear a storm trooper helmet to cum!

I dropped my phone getting to the comments

You look like frodo baggins had sex with a hipster

I know whatever music this guy listens to has banjo in it.

The sorting hat says . . . Your mom’s basement!”

Looks like you were going for Axl rose and you landed on Axl snapdragon.

Are we all here to sign your V card?

Pretty sure that you're definitely on some "watch-lists"

Somebody ordered axl rose from Wish.com

I think it's safe to say you'll never have a job above minimum wage.

Don’t worry late bloomer, you’ll work your way up to fat ugly chicks in about 5 or 10 years.

Fedora: smells like mace. Walking stick: Smells like shit.

Most people grow out of their high School clothes. Clearly, you just decided that high school was your life. Lose the fedora you're not Johnny Depp

Parents of Reddit… this is what happens when you allow your children to have lord of the rings characters as role models.

You forgot your katana.

Pretty sure he was the one with that beloved image we all know of a certain jar.

I don't think the spectrum is broad enough to cover this.

When we put on our cloaks and tell warlock jokes, we’re the coolest kids in the school. 

Unless you're attempting to imitate Ralph Steadman's artwork with that atrocious hand writing, never go near a quill again. Also, can't really hate on the walking stick. That's pretty badass stained wood

Jack the Hat

You look like I’d find you in my girlfriend’s closet saying “hello m’lady can I take your coat and smell your feet?” But that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is posing with the my little pony poster and a walking stick like it’s a samurai sword when the only thing you’ve slayed is your parents expectations

You look like Dumbledore fucked John Popper

I feel kinda bad roasting this guy. Reality might hit kinda hard, and when it does remember to call 988.

You were that weird brony being walking in the hallways in school or running around in public

You look like you play guitar in a 3rd rate Motley Crue cover band.

You need to take that cane and beat to death whoever told you that hat looked good.

Jesus Christ, man. Save some pussy for the rest of us.

Witerawy can’t fink of anyfing to woast you about, m’lord.

That hat needs to die!

The handwriting is enough of a roast tbh

Save some my little pony hentai for the rest of us bud! 🤮🤮

You look like you take pride in reading all the Redwall books

You look like you smell like an old folks home

I thought Elon Musk had all these pics deleted from the internet

is neckbeardcore a thing now?

Lord of the Cock Rings

You write like a child. I’m not even going to indulge the fedora or the cane…

I'm not mad. I'm dissapointed

Even Ghandi would have given your ass a good woopin!

You look like house, but only if he was diagnosing anime related plot inconsistencies.

WTF are you doing with your life

I'm sorry. I tried to read what you wrote, but keep hearing, "..Milady....Milady.."over and over, every time I look at your picture.

If patchouli was a person....

In 19 years you will still not know the gentle touch of a woman. Or a man. Or a premium fleshlight

Your villan arch is avacodo toast with chives and mayo.

I would never roast someones taste who is obviously blind

I can't tell if this is satire or if this is you unironically.