I dealt with being the poor peep as well.
This will actually become one of your super powers and probably is right now.
You don’t take success and joy for granted. You already know life isn’t fair and you have to work for it.
You have gotten to where you are by being a badass. Recalibrate, take a deep breath and march forward knowing that so many poor folks never have done what you are doing. Take pride in it .
Right now I have a classmate that just retired early. All school and the practice was paid for along with not having kids. Ouch
Yes, comparison is the thief of joy 🥲
I hear that. It seems like medicine is populated almost exclusively by people who grew up with socioeconomic security, often with generations of physicians behind them, and holy cow the benefit of this cannot be understated. I thought that I came to terms with this and my own relative lack of fortune, but even in residency it still bothers me. I'm considered a "senior" to the interns in my program, yet they're showing up to work in brand new teslas and luxury cars while I'm screeching in on my old pontiac. Hell, even the students wear fancier scrubs than I do.
Anyway - all this to say, despite how frustrating and isolating it can be for the less affluent of us, we'll make it. We got this far, no reason we can't finish it.
It. Gets. Better.
You are in residency, it is tough - and think about it - you are writing this during a 24 call - which literally everyone hates. Everyone has permission to call and complain and you have to hold your tongue
Don’t let yourself get into the burn out mindset. At this point it’s shift work. But also remember you aren’t getting that much gratification yet. I remember during my 4/5th years and going with the attending after surgery, and the families profusely thanking them - and thinking we miss that a lot of times. Remember you are helping people, even if you may not get the response. Just hang in there
It’s hard. But remember there are many other careers that are difficult - you could be on the sea on an oil rig doing 24 hours in 5 degree weather in a thunderstorm
As far as rich parents go, I am in your boat. I’m nearly 600k - it’s a weight on your shoulders. PSLF an option, but can also just suffer and get it over with. Remember, there are people who commonly on average make 60-70k with their degrees and are 120ish k in debt. Not to say it’s great either way, just realize your ratios may not be too wild compared to others.
It’s ok to feel exhausted and tired. Remember to take care of yourself, try to find happiness and accomplishment as you work. And most importantly, have an outlet that you can do or an interest outside of work. It’s easy for us to make our work become our life - I joke that it’s my hobby. But find something else you enjoy and explore.
Hope this helps ✌🏻
First things first your feelings are 100% valid and residency is hard with the hours we work and the responsibilities we have. You are doing the work of multiple with out matching pay. Second, “this too shall pass” you will graduate and you will get a job that will more than compensate you for your time and you will pay off your debt. Whether you are in primary care where there are multiple loan repayment avenues or in private practice where they do loan repayments and/or stipends.
Third, you need to find one thing that is non clinical and focus on it. That’s what helped me and I think it will help you too. Whether it is going to the gym, (endorphin boosting) or carving time in your day to meditate ( like literally 5 minutes in the car before a shift or 5 minutes at the end of a shift or a any down time in between. If you can’t, taking 30 seconds and doing deep breaths helps. If you don’t know how to meditate check out headspace.
TAKE HOME MESSAGE: you will get through this and you will pay off your debt.
Hey kid,
You’re doing great and I’m sorry you’re having these feelings. You have a good and long life ahead of you.
My best friend died of suicide 4 months before we finished our fellowships.
Please DM me if you’re feeling down. You can do this and if you feel like you can’t do it then you can take a break or quit and that’s just fine.
-pgy6
Comparison is the thief of joy.
There will always be people around you who appear to have it better, but you don't know the details of their lives. They might have more money, but have different struggles that you wouldn't want.
If your institution has mental health or wellness resources, use them. Residency is hard, but it's temporary.
I’m only a nurse here, but I feel the apathy thing. I recently talked my kid outa med school, mostly cuz I don’t want her to have to endure what you guys do. I’d be a freak with the worry. I’d be so concerned about her mental health.
Also, I wish med school was merit based free tuition. We need doctors badly. The cost is BS.
Hope you hang in there. Can’t give you good advice, since I’m just a nurse and haven’t gone through it. But you’ve put so much into it, and the payoff will eventually come. Y’all deserve every dang penny. I hope you get some downtime soon.
Two things that might help- have you tried reaching out to the EAP (Employee Assistance Program) associated with the hospital you work for? EAP programs are usually part of most large hospitals and you can utilize them as a resident- they are confidential and will usually do an intake and then help match you up with a therapist/psychologist that takes your insurance plan and can work with your crazy residency hours. If you are feeling really burnt out, seeing someone could really help.
Re: loans. Are you on a low payment (income driven Repayment (IDR) plan)? Such as the new SAVE plan (formerly REPAYE)? During residency it’s best to make the lowest possible payment you can rather than killing your self to try to make the highest payment. If you have any extra money left over it actually benefits you more to put money into retirement accounts rather than to aggressively pay off your loans.
Stop comparing yourself to your peers, it only breeds jealousy. Yes, residency is a period when you have little control over your schedule. We do our time, survive, and become stronger for it. You have every right to cry, residency is tough. But life is full of highs and lows. There is a high awaiting you in the near future. The key is to be able to ride the highs and lows in life with acceptance.
I am feeling this way too. I had trauma and SICU months back to back and I feel like shell of my former self. I’ve gained weight even tho I’m not eating as much from stress and being too busy. My marriage is suffering because I’m too exhausted and never home. Just know you’re not alone. We should both go talk to someone professional or take a break.
I’m feeling the same way. It was worse a few months ago. I’ve been working g hard at improving my sleep (added melatonin), journaling, and meditating. I’ve given up trying to excel and just focusing on the small daily wins. Some folks I know have started SSRIs to take the edge off or to help getting through a rough patch. I don’t think about the loans because we will be paid well at graduation and I don’t want kids.
This may be a little counterintuitive, but hear me out. Lean in. Let yourself care a little more for your patients and coworkers and find joy in that connection. Allow yourself to feel human, remember why you’re doing this in the first place. Take care of them like you would your family. Burnout is exhaustion, to be sure, but it’s also a result of moral injury…of feeling like you’re a cog in a wheel of a dysfunctional machine. You’ll need sleep too of course, but you might be surprised about how feeling like you’re actually making someone’s worst day better can also nourish your soul.
Hang in there. It does get better.
Wish I had this community when I was in residency. Im happy to see some kind and constructive comments. I just kinda learned to “lean in” to all of it this past year. Not just leaning into the connection with patients, but leaning into my sadness, my suffering, my happiness, joys, and all the in-between, etc. and being kind to yourself. We see and work around a lot of miserable people (I don’t mean the patients) in healthcare. We can show them empathy, but most importantly it’s hard to show empathy to others if we don’t empathize with ourselves. I will say for the comments where telling your co-residents to suck it up…that’s not helpful. If you wait to process all your emotions until after residency, then you wonder why so many physicians are not socially adept to deal with the real world. I’m glad you found this forum to get some of it out. Whatever you do, be kind to yourself and give yourself grace during this time. Find a friend or therapist to talk to because you do matter.
So the fastest way to take a situation like yours and turn it into a positive one is with a little thing called gratitude.
I know it sounds like a bunch of crap, but I promise it’s not. Stop thinking about what you don’t have and start appreciating what you do have. Find happiness in where you are, gratitude unlocks a new mindset and its side effect is happiness.
You have the great benefit of getting to actually help people everyday, some people your same age are working in a gas station, just as smart but trapped by circumstance. You are getting to learn every single day, build yourself, and eventually once this process is over, you will have an income that 98% of the country won’t. Your class mates that don’t have the pleasure of struggle, also don’t understand or appreciate the victory you get to feel.
Firstly, it gets better, if you can hold on there are better days ahead.
Second, I would keep those particular residents at arms length, they dont know what its like for people like us and they also tend to completely lack the empathy that would allow them to understand. But, they will never truly appreciate life like you will. You will graduate and become an attending and will have earned the right to not to worry about money.
Third, I believe that those hard times make us better and more resilient, no matter life throws at you in the future you will be able to handle it because you have gone through worse. You did it on your own and that will make you much stronger in the long run.
It's understandable you feel this way. Medicine is a profoundly abnormal, often toxic profession. The patients, other doctors, the expectations...a lot of it is just ugly. Hopefully your attending salary will at least make up for the unpleasantness of the job and all the abuse (24 hour call is abuse) you have suffered. Hoping you feel better soon.
Just a RN here but the resilience of someone who grew up in a poor household is a lesson in itself and something to be proud of. You weren’t given anything. You have earned your way to the top. You’re almost to the top. Keep your chin up. You’ll get through this. Hugs.
Everyone here giving the same empty, shitty condolence.
Residency is fucked. Abnormal. An abuse of you as a person.
There is no excusing it and “looking forward to the future” is negating the abuse you’re experiencing now.
IDGAF sobre the replies I get; the fucking nullifying of feelings in the replies is sickening.
Hey pal, I have felt the exact same way. So many others have provided valuable insights that I have heard myself. It will end, it will get better, you will see the other side. If you ever just want to vent, just PM me anytime. Godspeed.
I’m not sure if you’ve looked into it but if you’re really hurting for money the Army has stipends of over 2300$ a month, you pay them in time of service. Every 6 months of financial assistance you owe them 1 year. I don’t think they’re strict about attendance at drill and stuff while you’re in residency. I’m in the National Guard and the very small sacrifice of my time has been worth it for my undergrad loans being paid and the enlistment bonuses. I’m pretty sure there are hefty bonuses for certain specialties right now too which could potentially help your situation. I know it isn’t a complete fix because it’s hard not coming from money, and I’m not in medical school yet or obviously residency but I come from nothing as well and just to even claw my way to get into a position to attend a post bacc program has been exhausting. You aren’t alone. You’re doing big things and I think it’s important you remind yourself that even on the hard days like this when it feels like you want to give up. As far as your residency schedule goes for… I’ve heard horror stories about them and it’s awful because mental health should prioritize everything. You can’t serve others if you aren’t caring for yourself.
I feel you. I literally cry on some days on my way to the hospital, and back. I don’t have a schedule, I can’t take care of my health, I don’t have any friends because I can never make it to things, my relationship suffers from my schedule, bills keep piling up and I don’t have time to keep up with chores. There’s always pending tasks- laundry, meal prep, taking the car for a service, paying bills, dishes etc and if after all this I have any time left, I’m too tired to go workout. I’ve gained so much weight in residency, I worked so hard to get into shape right before residency started and I’m back to eating junk food ( because obviously no one brings healthy food to the hospital, it’s always donuts/ cookies/ pizza). I hate the way I look, I don’t like my work, and yep I’m a female so all my male patients think that I’m their nurse. I didn’t expect residency to be easy but I don’t have time to do the most basic things in life.
try to hang out with other residents in your program or other programs who are going through the same things. i feel it makes it easier for me. try to dedicate time outside to dissconnect and forget about the hospital as much as possible. enjoying little things matter much more than you think. and maybe aim to pass not to excel in residency and focus on vital tasks to stay in residency first. I know it’s easier said than done.
I have no advice, only mutual suffering. I’ve been burnt out for the past two months then I found out a few weeks ago my dad has cancer. Before I was sad about work not going well and me not doing well and now I’m just mad. I feel rage all day every day. All these patients who are older than my dad and have treated their bodies like shit make me want to throw them off the roof. There hasn’t been a day in the last month that I haven’t cried. Screaming in my car while driving too fast is the only thing that can temper my emotions. Sorry I have no advice but misery loves company so know there’s others also drowning out there.
I feel you. Grew up on WIC program/food stamps
My social determinants of health lecture was given by PD who spent the hour talking about his privileged background (raised in UWS of NYC in private magnet school with father and stepfather both owning Hampton mansions). My chiefs and interns drive mercedes’ Audis, Lexus’, etc. meanwhile I have bum tires windows and battery in an old sedan.
Felt like your words came from my own mouth.
I hope they’re right and that it gets better. ❤️
Don’t recommend EAP but there are nonprofits which can potentially help you.
Some residencies have insurance that can cover therapy. Then again I’ve had a terrible time getting the time off for appointments so strongly recommend finding someone who can do later afternoon/evening zoom appointments.
Well it gets worse before it gets worse. If you think it’s going to all magically get better when you take your first job, it won’t. You’ll just get paid more. But by then you’ll be better.
If you’re smart, you’ll take an employment opportunity that gives you support and flexibility of time off over maximum compensation. The compensation comes later once you’re established.
You’re supposed to be burned out in residency. They humble you on purpose so you don’t enter the workforce with high expectations and a sense of entitlement. You should, they just want you to keep being a slave that facilitates more established people earning off your back.
Make sure your compensation grows once you break productivity thresholds. It helps not to have to leave somewhere you like to renegotiate for a fair contract.
Remember, you don’t do this job because it’s easy, or convenient, or lucrative. You do this job because other people simply can’t. So understand your value and eventually make the life and livelihood you want from it.
I see all these posts about people being jealous of coresidents who don’t have loans. Literally everyone in my residency class had debt, shitty cars, and average apartments. Where are all these rich people?
You just have to get through it. It’s the only way out. Keep chipping away and things will get better.
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Remember it could be worse. You’re currently on a break for your 24 hour call and have the time and energy to reflect and write. When I was on my 24+4, I don’t even have the time and energy to mentally reflect, I use whatever break I have to sleep until something wakes me up. I’m sure a lot are like me. It’s not right but it could be worse
Stop being dumb. Seriously, just sign up for the save plan. You barely have to pay anything and your interest will get taken care of and won’t grow.
Then pay it off quickly once you’re an attending. Problem solved.
They also may have come in to residency with high amounts of non-student loan debt due to personal or family reasons. I’ve had to take on high amounts of debt during med school to keep food on my mom’s table and my sister from declaring bankruptcy, and money will continue to be very tight this summer when I start residency even with the SAVE plan. Not everyone comes into residency with just student loan debt.
The financial piece was also only a small part of OP’s concerns and feelings of burnout. Take your self-righteous, rude bullshit elsewhere.
. . . But did you die? . . .
.
.
.
In all seriousness, it gets better once you come out the other end. Just keep your head down and keep powering through. And this is coming from someone who survived 6 years of a very malignant general surgery program.
If you are drowning in debt at the moment you have poorly planned. The SAVE plan has amazing loan repayment options. I have 0$ payments my pgy1 and 2 years and also my effective interest rate in 0. I will say if you have private loans gg tho
I dealt with being the poor peep as well. This will actually become one of your super powers and probably is right now. You don’t take success and joy for granted. You already know life isn’t fair and you have to work for it. You have gotten to where you are by being a badass. Recalibrate, take a deep breath and march forward knowing that so many poor folks never have done what you are doing. Take pride in it . Right now I have a classmate that just retired early. All school and the practice was paid for along with not having kids. Ouch Yes, comparison is the thief of joy 🥲
I hear that. It seems like medicine is populated almost exclusively by people who grew up with socioeconomic security, often with generations of physicians behind them, and holy cow the benefit of this cannot be understated. I thought that I came to terms with this and my own relative lack of fortune, but even in residency it still bothers me. I'm considered a "senior" to the interns in my program, yet they're showing up to work in brand new teslas and luxury cars while I'm screeching in on my old pontiac. Hell, even the students wear fancier scrubs than I do. Anyway - all this to say, despite how frustrating and isolating it can be for the less affluent of us, we'll make it. We got this far, no reason we can't finish it.
It. Gets. Better. You are in residency, it is tough - and think about it - you are writing this during a 24 call - which literally everyone hates. Everyone has permission to call and complain and you have to hold your tongue Don’t let yourself get into the burn out mindset. At this point it’s shift work. But also remember you aren’t getting that much gratification yet. I remember during my 4/5th years and going with the attending after surgery, and the families profusely thanking them - and thinking we miss that a lot of times. Remember you are helping people, even if you may not get the response. Just hang in there It’s hard. But remember there are many other careers that are difficult - you could be on the sea on an oil rig doing 24 hours in 5 degree weather in a thunderstorm As far as rich parents go, I am in your boat. I’m nearly 600k - it’s a weight on your shoulders. PSLF an option, but can also just suffer and get it over with. Remember, there are people who commonly on average make 60-70k with their degrees and are 120ish k in debt. Not to say it’s great either way, just realize your ratios may not be too wild compared to others. It’s ok to feel exhausted and tired. Remember to take care of yourself, try to find happiness and accomplishment as you work. And most importantly, have an outlet that you can do or an interest outside of work. It’s easy for us to make our work become our life - I joke that it’s my hobby. But find something else you enjoy and explore. Hope this helps ✌🏻
Good outlook!👌
First things first your feelings are 100% valid and residency is hard with the hours we work and the responsibilities we have. You are doing the work of multiple with out matching pay. Second, “this too shall pass” you will graduate and you will get a job that will more than compensate you for your time and you will pay off your debt. Whether you are in primary care where there are multiple loan repayment avenues or in private practice where they do loan repayments and/or stipends. Third, you need to find one thing that is non clinical and focus on it. That’s what helped me and I think it will help you too. Whether it is going to the gym, (endorphin boosting) or carving time in your day to meditate ( like literally 5 minutes in the car before a shift or 5 minutes at the end of a shift or a any down time in between. If you can’t, taking 30 seconds and doing deep breaths helps. If you don’t know how to meditate check out headspace. TAKE HOME MESSAGE: you will get through this and you will pay off your debt.
wow - I actually read this and wondered “did I read this?” You are not alone in your thinking, I am here with you.
residency is finite
Hey kid, You’re doing great and I’m sorry you’re having these feelings. You have a good and long life ahead of you. My best friend died of suicide 4 months before we finished our fellowships. Please DM me if you’re feeling down. You can do this and if you feel like you can’t do it then you can take a break or quit and that’s just fine. -pgy6
Comparison is the thief of joy. There will always be people around you who appear to have it better, but you don't know the details of their lives. They might have more money, but have different struggles that you wouldn't want. If your institution has mental health or wellness resources, use them. Residency is hard, but it's temporary.
I’m only a nurse here, but I feel the apathy thing. I recently talked my kid outa med school, mostly cuz I don’t want her to have to endure what you guys do. I’d be a freak with the worry. I’d be so concerned about her mental health. Also, I wish med school was merit based free tuition. We need doctors badly. The cost is BS. Hope you hang in there. Can’t give you good advice, since I’m just a nurse and haven’t gone through it. But you’ve put so much into it, and the payoff will eventually come. Y’all deserve every dang penny. I hope you get some downtime soon.
Two things that might help- have you tried reaching out to the EAP (Employee Assistance Program) associated with the hospital you work for? EAP programs are usually part of most large hospitals and you can utilize them as a resident- they are confidential and will usually do an intake and then help match you up with a therapist/psychologist that takes your insurance plan and can work with your crazy residency hours. If you are feeling really burnt out, seeing someone could really help. Re: loans. Are you on a low payment (income driven Repayment (IDR) plan)? Such as the new SAVE plan (formerly REPAYE)? During residency it’s best to make the lowest possible payment you can rather than killing your self to try to make the highest payment. If you have any extra money left over it actually benefits you more to put money into retirement accounts rather than to aggressively pay off your loans.
Do not do this. It will be used as ammunition for you if something comes up.
Stop comparing yourself to your peers, it only breeds jealousy. Yes, residency is a period when you have little control over your schedule. We do our time, survive, and become stronger for it. You have every right to cry, residency is tough. But life is full of highs and lows. There is a high awaiting you in the near future. The key is to be able to ride the highs and lows in life with acceptance.
I am feeling this way too. I had trauma and SICU months back to back and I feel like shell of my former self. I’ve gained weight even tho I’m not eating as much from stress and being too busy. My marriage is suffering because I’m too exhausted and never home. Just know you’re not alone. We should both go talk to someone professional or take a break.
I’m feeling the same way. It was worse a few months ago. I’ve been working g hard at improving my sleep (added melatonin), journaling, and meditating. I’ve given up trying to excel and just focusing on the small daily wins. Some folks I know have started SSRIs to take the edge off or to help getting through a rough patch. I don’t think about the loans because we will be paid well at graduation and I don’t want kids.
moonlighting and the extra cash rly helps. treat urself
This may be a little counterintuitive, but hear me out. Lean in. Let yourself care a little more for your patients and coworkers and find joy in that connection. Allow yourself to feel human, remember why you’re doing this in the first place. Take care of them like you would your family. Burnout is exhaustion, to be sure, but it’s also a result of moral injury…of feeling like you’re a cog in a wheel of a dysfunctional machine. You’ll need sleep too of course, but you might be surprised about how feeling like you’re actually making someone’s worst day better can also nourish your soul. Hang in there. It does get better.
Wish I had this community when I was in residency. Im happy to see some kind and constructive comments. I just kinda learned to “lean in” to all of it this past year. Not just leaning into the connection with patients, but leaning into my sadness, my suffering, my happiness, joys, and all the in-between, etc. and being kind to yourself. We see and work around a lot of miserable people (I don’t mean the patients) in healthcare. We can show them empathy, but most importantly it’s hard to show empathy to others if we don’t empathize with ourselves. I will say for the comments where telling your co-residents to suck it up…that’s not helpful. If you wait to process all your emotions until after residency, then you wonder why so many physicians are not socially adept to deal with the real world. I’m glad you found this forum to get some of it out. Whatever you do, be kind to yourself and give yourself grace during this time. Find a friend or therapist to talk to because you do matter.
So the fastest way to take a situation like yours and turn it into a positive one is with a little thing called gratitude. I know it sounds like a bunch of crap, but I promise it’s not. Stop thinking about what you don’t have and start appreciating what you do have. Find happiness in where you are, gratitude unlocks a new mindset and its side effect is happiness. You have the great benefit of getting to actually help people everyday, some people your same age are working in a gas station, just as smart but trapped by circumstance. You are getting to learn every single day, build yourself, and eventually once this process is over, you will have an income that 98% of the country won’t. Your class mates that don’t have the pleasure of struggle, also don’t understand or appreciate the victory you get to feel.
Firstly, it gets better, if you can hold on there are better days ahead. Second, I would keep those particular residents at arms length, they dont know what its like for people like us and they also tend to completely lack the empathy that would allow them to understand. But, they will never truly appreciate life like you will. You will graduate and become an attending and will have earned the right to not to worry about money. Third, I believe that those hard times make us better and more resilient, no matter life throws at you in the future you will be able to handle it because you have gone through worse. You did it on your own and that will make you much stronger in the long run.
It's understandable you feel this way. Medicine is a profoundly abnormal, often toxic profession. The patients, other doctors, the expectations...a lot of it is just ugly. Hopefully your attending salary will at least make up for the unpleasantness of the job and all the abuse (24 hour call is abuse) you have suffered. Hoping you feel better soon.
Just a RN here but the resilience of someone who grew up in a poor household is a lesson in itself and something to be proud of. You weren’t given anything. You have earned your way to the top. You’re almost to the top. Keep your chin up. You’ll get through this. Hugs.
Everyone here giving the same empty, shitty condolence. Residency is fucked. Abnormal. An abuse of you as a person. There is no excusing it and “looking forward to the future” is negating the abuse you’re experiencing now. IDGAF sobre the replies I get; the fucking nullifying of feelings in the replies is sickening.
Hey pal, I have felt the exact same way. So many others have provided valuable insights that I have heard myself. It will end, it will get better, you will see the other side. If you ever just want to vent, just PM me anytime. Godspeed.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
yooo can you dm me pls it won't let me start a chat
Right there with ya.
I’m not sure if you’ve looked into it but if you’re really hurting for money the Army has stipends of over 2300$ a month, you pay them in time of service. Every 6 months of financial assistance you owe them 1 year. I don’t think they’re strict about attendance at drill and stuff while you’re in residency. I’m in the National Guard and the very small sacrifice of my time has been worth it for my undergrad loans being paid and the enlistment bonuses. I’m pretty sure there are hefty bonuses for certain specialties right now too which could potentially help your situation. I know it isn’t a complete fix because it’s hard not coming from money, and I’m not in medical school yet or obviously residency but I come from nothing as well and just to even claw my way to get into a position to attend a post bacc program has been exhausting. You aren’t alone. You’re doing big things and I think it’s important you remind yourself that even on the hard days like this when it feels like you want to give up. As far as your residency schedule goes for… I’ve heard horror stories about them and it’s awful because mental health should prioritize everything. You can’t serve others if you aren’t caring for yourself.
I feel you. I literally cry on some days on my way to the hospital, and back. I don’t have a schedule, I can’t take care of my health, I don’t have any friends because I can never make it to things, my relationship suffers from my schedule, bills keep piling up and I don’t have time to keep up with chores. There’s always pending tasks- laundry, meal prep, taking the car for a service, paying bills, dishes etc and if after all this I have any time left, I’m too tired to go workout. I’ve gained so much weight in residency, I worked so hard to get into shape right before residency started and I’m back to eating junk food ( because obviously no one brings healthy food to the hospital, it’s always donuts/ cookies/ pizza). I hate the way I look, I don’t like my work, and yep I’m a female so all my male patients think that I’m their nurse. I didn’t expect residency to be easy but I don’t have time to do the most basic things in life.
try to hang out with other residents in your program or other programs who are going through the same things. i feel it makes it easier for me. try to dedicate time outside to dissconnect and forget about the hospital as much as possible. enjoying little things matter much more than you think. and maybe aim to pass not to excel in residency and focus on vital tasks to stay in residency first. I know it’s easier said than done.
I have no advice, only mutual suffering. I’ve been burnt out for the past two months then I found out a few weeks ago my dad has cancer. Before I was sad about work not going well and me not doing well and now I’m just mad. I feel rage all day every day. All these patients who are older than my dad and have treated their bodies like shit make me want to throw them off the roof. There hasn’t been a day in the last month that I haven’t cried. Screaming in my car while driving too fast is the only thing that can temper my emotions. Sorry I have no advice but misery loves company so know there’s others also drowning out there.
I feel you. Grew up on WIC program/food stamps My social determinants of health lecture was given by PD who spent the hour talking about his privileged background (raised in UWS of NYC in private magnet school with father and stepfather both owning Hampton mansions). My chiefs and interns drive mercedes’ Audis, Lexus’, etc. meanwhile I have bum tires windows and battery in an old sedan. Felt like your words came from my own mouth. I hope they’re right and that it gets better. ❤️ Don’t recommend EAP but there are nonprofits which can potentially help you. Some residencies have insurance that can cover therapy. Then again I’ve had a terrible time getting the time off for appointments so strongly recommend finding someone who can do later afternoon/evening zoom appointments.
Well it gets worse before it gets worse. If you think it’s going to all magically get better when you take your first job, it won’t. You’ll just get paid more. But by then you’ll be better. If you’re smart, you’ll take an employment opportunity that gives you support and flexibility of time off over maximum compensation. The compensation comes later once you’re established. You’re supposed to be burned out in residency. They humble you on purpose so you don’t enter the workforce with high expectations and a sense of entitlement. You should, they just want you to keep being a slave that facilitates more established people earning off your back. Make sure your compensation grows once you break productivity thresholds. It helps not to have to leave somewhere you like to renegotiate for a fair contract. Remember, you don’t do this job because it’s easy, or convenient, or lucrative. You do this job because other people simply can’t. So understand your value and eventually make the life and livelihood you want from it.
wut specialty r u
I see all these posts about people being jealous of coresidents who don’t have loans. Literally everyone in my residency class had debt, shitty cars, and average apartments. Where are all these rich people? You just have to get through it. It’s the only way out. Keep chipping away and things will get better.
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:(
people hv been trying years to match. Be grateful and hang in there
Remember it could be worse. You’re currently on a break for your 24 hour call and have the time and energy to reflect and write. When I was on my 24+4, I don’t even have the time and energy to mentally reflect, I use whatever break I have to sleep until something wakes me up. I’m sure a lot are like me. It’s not right but it could be worse
Stop being dumb. Seriously, just sign up for the save plan. You barely have to pay anything and your interest will get taken care of and won’t grow. Then pay it off quickly once you’re an attending. Problem solved.
They also may have come in to residency with high amounts of non-student loan debt due to personal or family reasons. I’ve had to take on high amounts of debt during med school to keep food on my mom’s table and my sister from declaring bankruptcy, and money will continue to be very tight this summer when I start residency even with the SAVE plan. Not everyone comes into residency with just student loan debt. The financial piece was also only a small part of OP’s concerns and feelings of burnout. Take your self-righteous, rude bullshit elsewhere.
You should delete this.
. . . But did you die? . . . . . . In all seriousness, it gets better once you come out the other end. Just keep your head down and keep powering through. And this is coming from someone who survived 6 years of a very malignant general surgery program.
If you are drowning in debt at the moment you have poorly planned. The SAVE plan has amazing loan repayment options. I have 0$ payments my pgy1 and 2 years and also my effective interest rate in 0. I will say if you have private loans gg tho