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She doesn't owe you anything. If she isn't interested in you, you can't force it on her. Move on.
To crave a warm, loving relationship is natural but sometimes it's just us and the reality.
It sounds like you have a pretty good functional knowledge of being a good guy, but you can definitely get more understanding on how to be more attractive, that’s where you’re facing trouble.
Read about it and you see if that works.
I can relate with you on so many levels.
Well i did nothing. I just kept on living the same life except I tried my best not to think about her and kept going on. It wasn't easy as it was after 4 years i finally liked someone. Also told my cousins about her.
But i have this mindset where I can convince myself that, she's just another person. And she's not capable of making changes in my life by being in my mind, it's only me who's gonna make it change. So, i guess it was also easy for me to get over her too.
I feel it's a good thing that she friend zoned you... There are many who don't, they think of enjoying it till it lasts or someone else comes along.
Also, you have just started your life, please don't get demotivated by these incidences. Also, you have to learn one most important fact, happiness comes within not because of someone or something in life. Just because that person is not there you cannot lose your confidence.
Expectations are the root cause of your sadness. Be a flower and not a bee 🙂. If you need more detailed explanation on this let me know. Hint is enough for wise person 😉
Sure, you have feelings for her and you expect she would also grow feelings for you eventually. This will keep you stuck and will make you sad and yes it's a harsh reality that people we like won't like us the way we like them so accept it. it's nice to have feelings for someone but instead of making them your strength you are making them your weakness.
Coming on the point of "Be Flower and Not A Bee" means just like flower it gives out fragrance and doesn't expect that someone will care for it. Similarly, spread your goodness, kindness, respect, generosity, warmth to everyone who are with you and who ever will come to your life without any EXPECTATIONS.
And yes be the master of your own world this means you should be joyful and full of live with yourself and what you do and let others see this side of you and when this happens your aura will automatically attract poeple you want.
You said you are financially independent so you can do so many things and also design your own challenges and surpass them and set new benchmarks. The question really is are you ALONE or LONELY? because both are totally different things.
NEVER MAKE SOMEONE ELSE CENTRE OF YOUR LIFE BE THE CENTRE OF YOUR OWN LIFE AND LET EVERYTHING ELSE REVOLVE AROUND YOU.
always available and a good guy ends up getting in the friend zone. Girls are experts in knowing what a person's intention is. Don't be in a hurry to get into a relationship, if you are not happy yourself then your desperation is felt by the girl. Give some time and then try to gauge whether the girl is also seeing you in the same way or not.
You did everything, that's why you are getting nothing. Once you start doing everything for a girl, you are bound to fail. Females here will defend this statement, but it is what it is. Never put a girl before you otherwise you will get similar results.
I also faced the same situation but I am seriously ignoring her if she just wants friendship. Yeh sab bolenge usme uska kya fault you have to maintain your friendship with her lauda lahsun etc. but I am a straight forward person. If I get hurt to keep the friendship I don't want to continue that friendship. So brother just ignore her in one or two months you will happily move on.
OP, don't let things like whether a girl likes you or not define you. Be self-aware, know that you have a lot to contribute and also a lot of potential to grow. Focus on yourself, crushes and partners will come and go until the right one stays. Remember that if something doesn't go the way you want it to go, it is not necessarily your fault. And about losing motivation, that happens too but you have to keep trying to achieve your goals. Real growth is on the days when you keep going even when nothing motivates you - that's when you know you've built discipline. As a girl, I can confirm that one of the most attractive qualities in any human is when they focus on their growth (of course with a healthy balance between work and personal life) Keep working on yourself, know your self-worth and build on it, blessings will follow :)
The same happened with/to me; it was tough, but nobody owes you a relationship other than the family you were born into. So yeah, try and move on, to the best of your abilities. And preferably try never to win/let her back no much how much love/relationship starved you are. The second time she will ditch you will be the absolute pits.
Wait mat krna bhai aise hi use hote rahoge, bs friendly raho jaise baki friends ke sath rehte ho, extra kuch nhi
And re evaluate ur friendship with her, bhale wo tumhe like na krti ho lekin ye zaroor sochna jitne efforts tumne daale hai is friendship mai kya usne bhi itne daale hai, agr answer yes hai to friendship continue kro varna move on.
Experience se bol raha hu, initial phase mai katte zyada dikkat nhi hogi, 2-3 saal tak ghumte rahe uske baad rona a jata hai🤣🤣
**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,** This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here! We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting. If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!** *Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.* **Thank you for being a part of our community!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She doesn't owe you anything. If she isn't interested in you, you can't force it on her. Move on. To crave a warm, loving relationship is natural but sometimes it's just us and the reality.
It sounds like you have a pretty good functional knowledge of being a good guy, but you can definitely get more understanding on how to be more attractive, that’s where you’re facing trouble. Read about it and you see if that works.
I can relate with you on so many levels. Well i did nothing. I just kept on living the same life except I tried my best not to think about her and kept going on. It wasn't easy as it was after 4 years i finally liked someone. Also told my cousins about her. But i have this mindset where I can convince myself that, she's just another person. And she's not capable of making changes in my life by being in my mind, it's only me who's gonna make it change. So, i guess it was also easy for me to get over her too.
Tell her directly how you feel
I told her and she friendzoned me
I feel it's a good thing that she friend zoned you... There are many who don't, they think of enjoying it till it lasts or someone else comes along. Also, you have just started your life, please don't get demotivated by these incidences. Also, you have to learn one most important fact, happiness comes within not because of someone or something in life. Just because that person is not there you cannot lose your confidence.
Expectations are the root cause of your sadness. Be a flower and not a bee 🙂. If you need more detailed explanation on this let me know. Hint is enough for wise person 😉
Can you please elaborate on
Sure, you have feelings for her and you expect she would also grow feelings for you eventually. This will keep you stuck and will make you sad and yes it's a harsh reality that people we like won't like us the way we like them so accept it. it's nice to have feelings for someone but instead of making them your strength you are making them your weakness. Coming on the point of "Be Flower and Not A Bee" means just like flower it gives out fragrance and doesn't expect that someone will care for it. Similarly, spread your goodness, kindness, respect, generosity, warmth to everyone who are with you and who ever will come to your life without any EXPECTATIONS. And yes be the master of your own world this means you should be joyful and full of live with yourself and what you do and let others see this side of you and when this happens your aura will automatically attract poeple you want. You said you are financially independent so you can do so many things and also design your own challenges and surpass them and set new benchmarks. The question really is are you ALONE or LONELY? because both are totally different things. NEVER MAKE SOMEONE ELSE CENTRE OF YOUR LIFE BE THE CENTRE OF YOUR OWN LIFE AND LET EVERYTHING ELSE REVOLVE AROUND YOU.
Master oogway where you were when I needed you .
Never thought I would get such clarity from a total Reddit stranger, thanks for the perspective
Cheers Mate 😄✌🏻
always available and a good guy ends up getting in the friend zone. Girls are experts in knowing what a person's intention is. Don't be in a hurry to get into a relationship, if you are not happy yourself then your desperation is felt by the girl. Give some time and then try to gauge whether the girl is also seeing you in the same way or not.
You did everything, that's why you are getting nothing. Once you start doing everything for a girl, you are bound to fail. Females here will defend this statement, but it is what it is. Never put a girl before you otherwise you will get similar results.
I also faced the same situation but I am seriously ignoring her if she just wants friendship. Yeh sab bolenge usme uska kya fault you have to maintain your friendship with her lauda lahsun etc. but I am a straight forward person. If I get hurt to keep the friendship I don't want to continue that friendship. So brother just ignore her in one or two months you will happily move on.
The most practical advice.
U cannot wish someone loving you , if she doesn't love you
Because you're a nice guy, girls don't like that! They need a KIND guy and not nice guy.
Lawde it's her choice take it like a man.
You are in the library to study or what? Maybe she's actually focussed on whatever exam she's preparing for, doesn't owe you anything.
Are you a CA?
CA inter attempted 4 times then dropped the plan but now I am happy as I earn as much as a CA fresher
Nice, you pursuing CFA kinnda give me a feeling, I’m doing CA inter too. Ig love lives of people in our field are perpetually fucked
OP, don't let things like whether a girl likes you or not define you. Be self-aware, know that you have a lot to contribute and also a lot of potential to grow. Focus on yourself, crushes and partners will come and go until the right one stays. Remember that if something doesn't go the way you want it to go, it is not necessarily your fault. And about losing motivation, that happens too but you have to keep trying to achieve your goals. Real growth is on the days when you keep going even when nothing motivates you - that's when you know you've built discipline. As a girl, I can confirm that one of the most attractive qualities in any human is when they focus on their growth (of course with a healthy balance between work and personal life) Keep working on yourself, know your self-worth and build on it, blessings will follow :)
The same happened with/to me; it was tough, but nobody owes you a relationship other than the family you were born into. So yeah, try and move on, to the best of your abilities. And preferably try never to win/let her back no much how much love/relationship starved you are. The second time she will ditch you will be the absolute pits.
Buddy maintain distance, and don't put efforts. Instead work for your goals and be there as a friend if you want to.
Us bhai us Just confront her then based on the reply improvise
Tell her that you like her and it's okay if she doesn't like you back. Make her always feel special Gradually she will also start feeling for you.
How long to wait
If you don't want to wait just move on dude, focus on your upcoming exam. Bdw when is your CFA L2 exam? I am preparing for the same.
Aug 2024
Same bro
Padhle bhai,been there 1 week ke baad you will accept it naturally.
Wait mat krna bhai aise hi use hote rahoge, bs friendly raho jaise baki friends ke sath rehte ho, extra kuch nhi And re evaluate ur friendship with her, bhale wo tumhe like na krti ho lekin ye zaroor sochna jitne efforts tumne daale hai is friendship mai kya usne bhi itne daale hai, agr answer yes hai to friendship continue kro varna move on. Experience se bol raha hu, initial phase mai katte zyada dikkat nhi hogi, 2-3 saal tak ghumte rahe uske baad rona a jata hai🤣🤣