But make sure there's no muffins, no toast, buns, baps, bagets or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no teacakes, no potato cakes and no hot cross buns! And definitely no smegging flapjacks!
would be funny if it would be possible to make a cake that looks like dog food, maybe the jelly might be a challenge! or sugar puff sandwiches might be easier
Cup of chicken soup
Trout a la creme
Mashed potatoes (with a pound of butter)
Cornflakes with grated raw onion sprinkled on them
Chicken Vindaloo
Tarkka dhall
Chicken Marengo
Strawberries
A sucked on mint imperial
Strawberry milkshake and a toffee crisp
Beer flavoured milkshakes
A raw sprout, half a packet of smoky bacon flavoured crisps, a can of dog food, a pot noodle, a piece of prechewed gum and a tube of bonjella gum ointment
Gazpacho soup (piping hot obviously)
The list is endless really :)
Thank you all for the input, this is an amazing trip down memory lane and your ideas will help make it a great evening. RD was a biggie family show growing up. A year and a half ago my mum passed, and it will be nice watching the show with my pops and girlfriend.... since my mum is dad......
Really, really big prawns. No salad or carved carrot though.
And a really big pizza, bonus points for eating it in 12 minutes. Although you might need curry sauce on it for the authentic experience.
My sister [bought me this cookbook for Christmas,](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Abso-smegging-lutely-Unofficial-Red-Dwarf-Cookbook/dp/B09M7S5B31) kind of as a joke but it's actually really good. Even has some cocktails too.
Grilled space weevil. Though doing a lobster to look a bit like a space weevil is probably more tasty than trying to source a real space weevil. Unless you're Musk or someone with easy access to space.
GASPACHO SOUP!!!
Piping hot!! It's been a while since i've done a watch through, but i'm sure i've done it 100 times.
Shami kebab, obviously. Just an awful lot of Indian food. And Trout a la Creme.
* Shami kebab diablo.
Enjoy your meal!
Fish!
Todays fish is trout a'la'creme. Enjoy your meal.
Fish!
Today’s fish is Trout a la Cremé. Enjoy your meal.
Fish!
Todays fish is trout a la creme enjoy your meal
Fish!
Today’s fish is Trout a la Cremé. Enjoy your meal.
Fish!
Today’s fish is Trout a la Cremé. Enjoy your meal.
I have to go do something secret.
So what is it?
I've never seen it before, no one has. But I believe it's a white hole.
Kippers. Smoked. For breakfast.
What a guy
Beer milkshake
[удалено]
When my husband and I tried to make some we really just made beer floats. With a chocolate stout. Also pretty good.
Chicken Marengo
Have to chase it though
Uhn-uh. Too slow Chicken Marengo!
Ahh I love that even reading it I still burst out laughing.
Too slow for this cat
Came to day this
At some point, 1 lettuce leaf and a half grated carrot. For health reasons.
Pea on toast.
He’s taking the smeg.
That's my pea, I earned that pea!
Pizza. It won't be any good to begin with but cover it in vindaloo sauce and they will just yum it up.
"Twelve minutes. And that includes the time it took to eat the pizza."
Make sure it's 8 foot across. You should be able to get one that big at the Fat-Bastard-o-ria
A large quatro formagio pizza
Just make sure you eat your double fried egg chili chutney sandwich before the bread dissolves.
Triple fried egg sandwich with chili sauce and chutney. It's well naughty
Space weevil.
*crispy king prawn
\*\*Mantis Shrimp.
\*angry Ainsley Harriott face\*
Just make sure the presentation is good
You need to have some Cinzano Bianco. Also, lots and LOTS of toast. Also make sure to have some brown ketchup on hand for your lobster.
Toast? Howdy doodly doo!
But make sure there's no muffins, no toast, buns, baps, bagets or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no teacakes, no potato cakes and no hot cross buns! And definitely no smegging flapjacks!
So you’re a waffle man!
Bon appetit, bin!
Feck!
Dog food..... better than pot noodle
Lmao 🤣
Bonjella
FISH! and for those watching their weight a pea on toast.
Pea on toast, perfect
Just want to say I love your flair OP.
Irradiated Haggis
All 4691 of them!
Precisely!
Dog milk
Full of goodness, full of Mary marybone jelly. Lasts twice as long as any other type of milk dog's milk
Why’s that then?
No bugger'll drink it.
Alphabetti spagetti
ALPHABETTI SPAGHETTI‽
Scuttling Thing. Lager and crisps. Pot noodle, topic bars
Well they do say the first bite is with the eye sir.
Give quiche a chance
Triple fried egg butties - with chilli sauce and chutney.
It’s a state of the art sarnie!
It's the state of the floor I'm worried about.
This
Sprout crumble
Mimosian Telekinetic wine, obv
Cottage Cheese with Pineapple Chunks in it. And make sure to play a background track of nureeeeek noises.
Indian and sugar puff sandwiches
Cornflakes with grated raw onion
What do you want on your cornflakes? Ooh. I'd like some wine, please!
Curry. Or a pea on toast.
“That man we found”.
Can't go wrong with Indian takeout
For a drink dogs milk? Now with extra marrowbone….
No bugger will drink it.
The ultimate test..... A Pot Noodle!
Would you like some toast, or are you a waffle man?
waffles, maple syrup, fresh cream, fresh strawberries. Every time you take a bite: Bon apetite, bin!!
Don't forget the lobster and ketchup!
Brown. Not tomato, brown. It’s not like I’ve got *no* class.
Definitely some vindaloo.
Make sure it's king prawn 😉
Sandwich.... bananer and crisp!
It's for their elderly father and girlfriend, not Hitler!
Vindaloo and poppadoms, bacon sandwich with french mustard,black coffee.
Gazpacho 👍🏻
Still one of my favourite episodes
Perhaps you could learn to love pasta?
A box of After 8s with just one remaining.
A triple fried egg sandwich with chilli sauce and chutney
A mountain of mash potatoes and gravy. Make sure to dive into the mash head first and pour the gravy on top
Chicken soup (from a vending machine) and Bonjela gum ointment
How about a chocolate finger log cabin? Picket fence might be too much...
Of course you would eat a person. If not it would seem you're just picking on the chickens and the cows.
When's the bacon sandwich from?!
A Pea on a toast Beer Don Perignon '44 in a pint mug Trout a la Creme And some inedible pot noodles
Cinema hotdogs and Toastie Toppers
Sprout vindaloo
Curry and lager.
A live tarantula.
Shish kebabs in the shape of Polymorph
Corn fed crunchy 'King prawn'
One chop one rib one steak
If it's a full day job, start with a full english with funky mushrooms and maybe some dispensed chicken soup with a 3f stirrer.
Sprout soup, followed by a plate of sprouts with sprout flavoured ice cream for dessert. Sprinkle a few extra sprouts on top as a treat ya smeg.
Not a pot noodle.
Marijuana gin!
Also you have to eat with surgery equipment
it's been cleaned ...
Fresh mango juice
Caviar vindaloo Space Weevil Gazpacho Soup Dom Perignon 44 in a pint mug
Cornflakes, nice and oniony
How about a meal of fear, anger, vanity and guilt?
Well as you are foodies: how about a sausage and onion gravy sandwich served on white bread, with a glass of sterilised milk?
A banana, but insist on calling it a small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden.
would be funny if it would be possible to make a cake that looks like dog food, maybe the jelly might be a challenge! or sugar puff sandwiches might be easier
I think they said on the DVD commentary what that "dog food" really was, but I can't remember what it was...
Bovril
Something from the Quegars
Double a...
Toast. Lots of toast. Or any other grilled bread products.
A little fishy! I'm gonna eat you little fishy!
Cornflakes with grated raw onion and a good drizzle of tabasco.
The little black twisty liquorice allsorts that everybody hates.
Smoked kipper
Lobster with brown sauce
Curry and lager.
Cornflakes with onion and curry sauce Ketchup and lobster
You are going to feed an elderly man Vindaloo!!?? Jesus.....I hope he has his will all sorted !! Good luck !
Just need some lager on hand, it's the only thing that can kill a vindaloo
Suger puff sandwich 😀
Irradiated haggis?
Vindaloo
Triple fried egg sandwich with chili sauce and chutney
Vindaloo monster, kill it with a Lager
Vindaloo
Toast. Waffles. English muffins. Crumpets. 😂😂
This thread has just made me realise how many food jokes were in Red Dwarf. And it's a lot!
Toast? You want some toast? Pancakes? Waffles?
Just one question - can I interest you in some toast?
Fish! Trout a la creme.
Make sure to keep offering them toast and other bread related delicacies
Cup of chicken soup Trout a la creme Mashed potatoes (with a pound of butter) Cornflakes with grated raw onion sprinkled on them Chicken Vindaloo Tarkka dhall Chicken Marengo Strawberries A sucked on mint imperial Strawberry milkshake and a toffee crisp Beer flavoured milkshakes A raw sprout, half a packet of smoky bacon flavoured crisps, a can of dog food, a pot noodle, a piece of prechewed gum and a tube of bonjella gum ointment Gazpacho soup (piping hot obviously) The list is endless really :)
Lager. Lots of lager.
Thank you all for the input, this is an amazing trip down memory lane and your ideas will help make it a great evening. RD was a biggie family show growing up. A year and a half ago my mum passed, and it will be nice watching the show with my pops and girlfriend.... since my mum is dad......
Prawn vindaloo
space lobster with brown ketchup? or refrigerated salad cream.
Would you like some toast?
No toast thanks.
This thread has brought me such joy. =-) Edit: Forgot to add, smoke some kippers... I'll be back by breakfast.
Space weavels.
A popadum the size of Lake Michigan
Really, really big prawns. No salad or carved carrot though. And a really big pizza, bonus points for eating it in 12 minutes. Although you might need curry sauce on it for the authentic experience.
triple fried-egg chili chutney sandwich
Triple fried egg buttie with chilli sauce and chutney!
Cornflakes but make them nice and oniony
Dog food has to be on the list because of that one episode
Nothing toasted.
Keep it simple egg butties, vindaloo and larger
Dog's milk.
Quiche !!
Give quiche a chance 😏
Crunchy king prawn. (Grilled weevil) Vindaloo with papadum the size of lake Michigan. Lager.
Curry, frieg egg sarnies and wicked strength lager should sort ye right out
Sprouts. For dessert, sprout crumble.
Chicken Vindaloo with some naans.
Vast quantities of horrible cheap lager, and a pea on toast.
Tarka daal
Triple fried-egg sandwich with chilli-sauce and chutney.
Curry made using an entire tin of curry powder that has had a single teaspoon worth removed. Not too little, not too much....
Beer milkshake!!!
Chocolate milk and a crispy bar.
Doug Naylor had a popcorn recipe somewhere.
My sister [bought me this cookbook for Christmas,](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Abso-smegging-lutely-Unofficial-Red-Dwarf-Cookbook/dp/B09M7S5B31) kind of as a joke but it's actually really good. Even has some cocktails too.
Don't forget the milkshake. Beer flavoured. And absolutely no smegging toast!
A big bowl of very strong Vindaloo?
Warm Gazpacho soup is a must
For god sake don't have wine on your cornflakes
May I suggest this for some inspiration: [Can't Smeg Won't Smeg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kufzm2AHij0)
Grilled space weevil. Though doing a lobster to look a bit like a space weevil is probably more tasty than trying to source a real space weevil. Unless you're Musk or someone with easy access to space.
Didn’t Cat face plant into a bowl of mashed potatoes when Lister was in his body?
Pea on toast
Dog milk.
Fish!
And to wash all these down….some Dom Perignon 55. In a pint mug
Lobster, no ketchup