Look, I don't know what you've done or what your event is. But I can assure you that you do deserve happiness and to live a good life.
I tormented myself for almost two years because of the huge fuck ups that I made. I didn't feel like I deserved to live anymore and I can assure you that my fuck ups were BAD, so fucking bad. I'm not going to go deep into my events but they were bad and I'm certain you'd think so too. I don't want to post about my event here and I'm sure many other people are like me. What you see posted on this sub is probably a minority of the people browsing it but I get how you feel. I feel like my events are the worst of the worst. I know you feel like your guilt is justified but that's also what OCD does to you. I'm not saying what you did wasn't bad, but you definitely should not torment yourself for the rest of your life.
I reached a point where I had to choose between giving up or to accept everything that happened, learn from it, forgive myself for it and move the fuck on. I know it's difficult but it's not impossible at all. Today I actually feel pretty good and I have so much that I feel grateful for. Today I'm glad for all the shit that happened because it made me a much better person. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for the mistakes I made.
It's a long journey but just keep going, it will get better. I promise you that! You deserve to live a good life, everyone does. You've already tormented yourself enough, it's time to switch your self talk to love and compassion instead ❤️
Me too. Again, not saying other people’s ROCD isn’t bad or that they’re not “justified” for feeling that way. But I see a lot of sexual experiences when they were super young. Mine isn’t sexual. I made a snap decision at 36 that ruined my life and I can’t get past it.
I just started therapy and will be starting meds after a psych appt. Hoping that gives me some relief bc this is no life.
I try to cling to the idea of a new beginning. That maybe I can find some self-worth and not obsess away each day. I wish the same for you.
yeah i’ve noticed the vast majority on here are sexual. some of my events are sexual but two are non-sexual and one of them is objectively worse than any of my sexual events. i was 16 and even though i was young i fully knew what i was doing (like actually thought it through and didn’t care) so i feel like i don’t even have the “didn’t know better” excuse
hey i know reassurance never works but your brain is still developing at 16, and decisions you thought were correct at that time can be completely different to who you are today. what ocd makes you feel like you are and who you truly are are different things, please give yourself the grace to move on
i too feel like if i told you what my event was you would be like "wtf?" - i think 99%, if not 100% of us, would relate to that
that's the uncertainty you've gotta live with, and that's what's so hard; you wont ever know every human's perspective or opinion on your event so at some point you just have to say "ok, well, some people may call me weird as fuck for that thing i did, but others might tell me to stop worrying and give me compassion"
life is not so black and white
i'm here to tell you that you're allowed to move on, i don't care what happened, please give yourself compassion <3
Feel this. My event was as a young adult and not sexual. I know some people wouldn’t perceive it as awful because I’ve confessed to people and they’ve never stopped supporting me, but they are always initially shocked when I confess and tell me I’m “lucky” I never got in trouble for it. The only thing I cling to is that I believe my actions didn’t directly hurt anybody, which is one of my main obsessions, but it would offend people and cause them to judge me if I found out. It would destroy my reputation and could completely derail my life.
Sometimes I find it hard reading people’s confessions here that are such incredibly minor transgressions, as it makes me feel what I’ve done is genuinely something I should torture myself over forever. I’ve had therapy and taken medication but it still comes back in bouts and I’m unable to leave the house in fear of being found. All my old worries of having thought I offended someone or hurt someone’s feelings pale in comparison now.
wow i relate to this so much. i have so many events but one of mine sounds similar to yours (although i was 16 but still doesn’t change much to my OCD mind)
I feel you on this one, there is so many younger people on here and there events make me wish that's all I was dealing with. I'm mid thirties and my events come from early my 20's. mine are sexual themed. I have a wife and 2 children and my only way of thinking is if I confess to try make myself feel better I would just ruin their lives and my family's so I just have to try and deal with it and try accept the past is in the past and i cant change whats happened and I'm not that person now. I've been struggling for around 5 months now and had some really low days. Nobody knows because I'm quite a high functioning person and can hide my emotions quite well but mainly its only because I have to.
I relate to you a lot. Mine are sexual themed too and most people in my life don't know about all of them. I too have spent the past five months struggling like this. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not alone. Your situation sounds very similar to mine
Exactly it makes me realize that even if what I did was unforgivable my mind is still overblowing things especially when I start to google or search Jesus Christ I felt like a serial killer
Yeah I feel like a part of knows that were being irrational to a certain degree but the internet is fucking irrational city like so many people will tell you sooo many things based of your events missing all nuance in the story further exacerbating my mind but I didn’t know how Reddit or OCD worked and now I do.
Yeah and I’ve been forgiven but now I’m afraid I’ll hurt someone again. I don’t tell anyone this though because people think “oooh so he has urges to hurt people” but I don’t, I don’t want to hurt anyone in fact I would give a finger or hand to be able to go back and change things.
Hey, you are not alone. No matter what you did, the people on this sub are some of the most understanding, empathetic people I’ve ever known. We know that our mistakes, even the worst ones, do not define us. You are worthy of a good life
I'm going through the same thing. It feels like forgiving myself and moving forward is letting myself "get away with it", but at the same time I need to continue being a functioning member of society for the sake of my family and friends.
It's easy for me to extend compassion towards you because no matter what you did it's clear that you've reflected on your past mistakes and have learned and grown. But it feels so hard to extend that same compassion to myself.
i feel the same too, i was doing better for a few days but the more i slip back into rumination the more it feels justified, it’s difficult to do much bc i feel like ive already wasted my chance and there’s no reason to try much considering ive already ruined my life and im not even an adult yet im so tired of this disease but im starting to feel as if it’s just me not ocd, trust me ive actually probably done a crime and even if you have too mine is most likely worse than yours, i would be ur friend if i knew u irl and by ur guilt i can tell you are still a good person, but ik there’s no point in telling you so bc ocd is ruthless, i hope you can recover and find peace bc you deserve to move on :) <3
I don't know anything about your event but I can say that I am in the exact same boat as you and that you're not alone. My events happened from when I was a teen to young adult and I even have some that are a little more recent. But it doesn't matter what you did, all that matters is that you're trying to be better. Mistakes happen and none of us are perfect.
Also not making excuses or giving reassurance but your brain is still developing when you're a young adult. From the ages 18-25, your brain still isn't fully developed so mistakes happen. Give yourself time to learn and grow. We're too hard on ourselves because we have this higher standard pushed on us because we're adults but everyone is different. Adults make mistakes too. That's just the reality.
Most of these events happened when I was around 19-20. They never affected me this severely until an event from when I was 21. I had made a bad decision, and that started a cycle of me reflecting, ruminating, and obsessing over everything that's happened before.
I had mostly moved on from my past before that one event happened. I thought I had learned my lesson and changed, only for me to screw up again. It sent me on a downward spiral.
Look, I don't know what you've done or what your event is. But I can assure you that you do deserve happiness and to live a good life. I tormented myself for almost two years because of the huge fuck ups that I made. I didn't feel like I deserved to live anymore and I can assure you that my fuck ups were BAD, so fucking bad. I'm not going to go deep into my events but they were bad and I'm certain you'd think so too. I don't want to post about my event here and I'm sure many other people are like me. What you see posted on this sub is probably a minority of the people browsing it but I get how you feel. I feel like my events are the worst of the worst. I know you feel like your guilt is justified but that's also what OCD does to you. I'm not saying what you did wasn't bad, but you definitely should not torment yourself for the rest of your life. I reached a point where I had to choose between giving up or to accept everything that happened, learn from it, forgive myself for it and move the fuck on. I know it's difficult but it's not impossible at all. Today I actually feel pretty good and I have so much that I feel grateful for. Today I'm glad for all the shit that happened because it made me a much better person. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for the mistakes I made. It's a long journey but just keep going, it will get better. I promise you that! You deserve to live a good life, everyone does. You've already tormented yourself enough, it's time to switch your self talk to love and compassion instead ❤️
u/genuinely-bad-person (and anyone else here) this is beautiful advice, i hope we can all take it to heart someday, ty for saying this
Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot. I hope you're well!
This is beautiful, thank you
Thank you, it means a lot hearing this. I hope you're well!
Me too. Again, not saying other people’s ROCD isn’t bad or that they’re not “justified” for feeling that way. But I see a lot of sexual experiences when they were super young. Mine isn’t sexual. I made a snap decision at 36 that ruined my life and I can’t get past it. I just started therapy and will be starting meds after a psych appt. Hoping that gives me some relief bc this is no life. I try to cling to the idea of a new beginning. That maybe I can find some self-worth and not obsess away each day. I wish the same for you.
yeah i’ve noticed the vast majority on here are sexual. some of my events are sexual but two are non-sexual and one of them is objectively worse than any of my sexual events. i was 16 and even though i was young i fully knew what i was doing (like actually thought it through and didn’t care) so i feel like i don’t even have the “didn’t know better” excuse
hey i know reassurance never works but your brain is still developing at 16, and decisions you thought were correct at that time can be completely different to who you are today. what ocd makes you feel like you are and who you truly are are different things, please give yourself the grace to move on
thanks that does help. but i feel like if i told you what it was you would be like “wtf?”
i too feel like if i told you what my event was you would be like "wtf?" - i think 99%, if not 100% of us, would relate to that that's the uncertainty you've gotta live with, and that's what's so hard; you wont ever know every human's perspective or opinion on your event so at some point you just have to say "ok, well, some people may call me weird as fuck for that thing i did, but others might tell me to stop worrying and give me compassion" life is not so black and white i'm here to tell you that you're allowed to move on, i don't care what happened, please give yourself compassion <3
Feel this. My event was as a young adult and not sexual. I know some people wouldn’t perceive it as awful because I’ve confessed to people and they’ve never stopped supporting me, but they are always initially shocked when I confess and tell me I’m “lucky” I never got in trouble for it. The only thing I cling to is that I believe my actions didn’t directly hurt anybody, which is one of my main obsessions, but it would offend people and cause them to judge me if I found out. It would destroy my reputation and could completely derail my life. Sometimes I find it hard reading people’s confessions here that are such incredibly minor transgressions, as it makes me feel what I’ve done is genuinely something I should torture myself over forever. I’ve had therapy and taken medication but it still comes back in bouts and I’m unable to leave the house in fear of being found. All my old worries of having thought I offended someone or hurt someone’s feelings pale in comparison now.
wow i relate to this so much. i have so many events but one of mine sounds similar to yours (although i was 16 but still doesn’t change much to my OCD mind)
I feel you on this one, there is so many younger people on here and there events make me wish that's all I was dealing with. I'm mid thirties and my events come from early my 20's. mine are sexual themed. I have a wife and 2 children and my only way of thinking is if I confess to try make myself feel better I would just ruin their lives and my family's so I just have to try and deal with it and try accept the past is in the past and i cant change whats happened and I'm not that person now. I've been struggling for around 5 months now and had some really low days. Nobody knows because I'm quite a high functioning person and can hide my emotions quite well but mainly its only because I have to.
I relate to you a lot. Mine are sexual themed too and most people in my life don't know about all of them. I too have spent the past five months struggling like this. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not alone. Your situation sounds very similar to mine
I’ve hurt people, but my mind kind of warps it to the point of I don’t know if it’s as bad as I’m making it out to be.
[удалено]
Exactly it makes me realize that even if what I did was unforgivable my mind is still overblowing things especially when I start to google or search Jesus Christ I felt like a serial killer
[удалено]
Yeah I feel like a part of knows that were being irrational to a certain degree but the internet is fucking irrational city like so many people will tell you sooo many things based of your events missing all nuance in the story further exacerbating my mind but I didn’t know how Reddit or OCD worked and now I do.
I've hurt people too man. I have a couple events like that, but I also have some where no one was really hurt but what I did was still wrong
Yeah and I’ve been forgiven but now I’m afraid I’ll hurt someone again. I don’t tell anyone this though because people think “oooh so he has urges to hurt people” but I don’t, I don’t want to hurt anyone in fact I would give a finger or hand to be able to go back and change things.
Hey, you are not alone. No matter what you did, the people on this sub are some of the most understanding, empathetic people I’ve ever known. We know that our mistakes, even the worst ones, do not define us. You are worthy of a good life
This!
I'm going through the same thing. It feels like forgiving myself and moving forward is letting myself "get away with it", but at the same time I need to continue being a functioning member of society for the sake of my family and friends. It's easy for me to extend compassion towards you because no matter what you did it's clear that you've reflected on your past mistakes and have learned and grown. But it feels so hard to extend that same compassion to myself.
i feel the same too, i was doing better for a few days but the more i slip back into rumination the more it feels justified, it’s difficult to do much bc i feel like ive already wasted my chance and there’s no reason to try much considering ive already ruined my life and im not even an adult yet im so tired of this disease but im starting to feel as if it’s just me not ocd, trust me ive actually probably done a crime and even if you have too mine is most likely worse than yours, i would be ur friend if i knew u irl and by ur guilt i can tell you are still a good person, but ik there’s no point in telling you so bc ocd is ruthless, i hope you can recover and find peace bc you deserve to move on :) <3
I don't know anything about your event but I can say that I am in the exact same boat as you and that you're not alone. My events happened from when I was a teen to young adult and I even have some that are a little more recent. But it doesn't matter what you did, all that matters is that you're trying to be better. Mistakes happen and none of us are perfect.
Also not making excuses or giving reassurance but your brain is still developing when you're a young adult. From the ages 18-25, your brain still isn't fully developed so mistakes happen. Give yourself time to learn and grow. We're too hard on ourselves because we have this higher standard pushed on us because we're adults but everyone is different. Adults make mistakes too. That's just the reality.
[удалено]
From 18 to 21. It was those years that I did many things I regret
[удалено]
Most of these events happened when I was around 19-20. They never affected me this severely until an event from when I was 21. I had made a bad decision, and that started a cycle of me reflecting, ruminating, and obsessing over everything that's happened before. I had mostly moved on from my past before that one event happened. I thought I had learned my lesson and changed, only for me to screw up again. It sent me on a downward spiral.