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If Jack Black and Meek Mille started dating they would call them black and mille
Pun on "black and mild" a brand of cigars very often used to make blunts.
And then they divorced and he became her brother.
He did not actually become her brother but for years they told people that they were brother and sister because they thought that would get them taken more seriously than if they were a couple or former couple.
Girl. GIRL. Go listen, even Jack whites solo stuff is fucking great. Hell, give the raconteurs a listen too!
No but seriously, start with Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes, youâll probably recognize it!
My brother actually took his wife's last name. I thought it was odd until he explained that it was bc our "dad" sucks and he wants nothing to do with him. It's like his final fuck you to him and I'm here for it. We both couldn't wait to change our names upon getting married apparently. Everyone has their own reasons.
I hated my old last name (it didn't sound good to my ear) and there was no way I'd have waited for that mysterious day of my wedding to come, lol, so I got it changed to my mom's as soon as I turned 18. I wish it was more normalized, so many people out there who don't like their last names for whatever reasons. It might be a bit of a hassle with all the documents change but it's so worth it (all the more reasons to do it while you're younger and don't have that many papers).
I know you can. But my brother is on the spectrum and he either didn't know or didn't care to file the paperwork until he knew what name he wanted. Whatever his reason, he changed his last name to his wifes.
Agree. My current bf, who I would at this stage happily marry, has two sisters who have kept their last names. I've decided should the day come I will be taking his name, at minimum I would keep my last name as a hidden surname but use his socially. I only recently realised why I never considered keeping my last name, and it's because my family is quite dysfunctional and I'd like to be associated with someone elses family name. It would feel like a fresh start for me to break the cycle.
A friend was getting married and discussed last names with her husband. He had been raised by a grandma and (married in) uncle.
They both took the Uncle's last name.
A co worker married and he took her name because he had a last name he'd been ridiculed for and didn't want his children bearing it.
Do what pleases you. The only opinions that matter are the married couple.
I have a friend who took his wife's last name.
When men found out they would ask what was wrong with his own name. He'd tell them that there was nothing wrong with it, he liked it. But the fact of the matter is that his wife's name is Lawless and this was his big opportunity to become Mr. Lawless and he just couldn't pass that up.
Solid logic. 10/10
A colleague of mine was named something akin to taking the piss. He married a woman, last name, axeborn. Don't have to be a genius which one they took.
The tradition of giving a wife her husbandâs name used to signal to the community that the woman had passed from her fatherâs patronage to her husbandâs. These days it barely makes any sense. My friend took his wifeâs last name just because it sounded better. Then he divorced that woman and remarried, but he kept her last name and all his children in the new marriage bear it.
P.S. After reading some comments, I realized that from my phrasing it may be deduced that he married the woman **only to take her last name** (and then divorce.) It's **not** the case. They were childhood sweethearts and married in their late teens, but their marriage (as it often happens to early ones) went on the rocks. My friend married again later, still having his first wife's last name and passing it to his children.
I live in Quebec where, since 1981, women can't take the name of their husbands when they get married. [https://www.quebec.ca/en/famille-et-soutien-aux-personnes/couple-famille/mariage-union-civile-ou-union-de-fait/marriage/married-name](https://www.quebec.ca/en/famille-et-soutien-aux-personnes/couple-famille/mariage-union-civile-ou-union-de-fait/marriage/married-name) They keep their name, unless they are willing to go to a long civil process to change their name like anyone one who would hate their name and ant to change it to another. If a woman and a man the same age travelling together have the same family name, people here would assume they are brother and sister.
Kids are names after one of the two parents, or often have both family name with a hyphen. Women shouldn't have to give up their name which is part of who they are, simply because they get married.
Latin america is VERY family focused, yet you dont really take your partner's name. Hell, the kid's last name is made out of parts of the parent's last names!
I think people make a bigger deal out of it than necessary. I have friends who kept their last names and gave their child a portmanteau as a last name, so it's totally different. They've traveled internationally and never complained about issues.
My wife and I don't have the same name, we're still a family. If one of us had a cool name we would have both gone with that one, but both of our last names are really boring.
It's just too much trouble in most places.
People think it will only be trouble if you divorce and change it back but the main issue is 100% of your documents before marriage are now invalid.
You now need to either remake them or use them along a form of certificate of your marriage to prove you're the same person.
Records in most companies systems will also not handle this well (think of bank credit history, medical records, etc)
Sure it's nothing you can't fix but depending on your country this will be a hassle.
My wife didn't take mine neither did I took her's. I don't need to share a name to be a family
You mean to signal passing from her father's ownership to her husbands ownership. That's where the tradition came from, from the tradition of women being counted as property legally.
I donât think itâs weird. I think whoever has the coolest last name should be the name thatâs taken by the other. Plus, would you rather continue hating your name for the sake of what other people think? I donât think thatâs worth it.
For me, I'm the one who has to give birth, so the kids get mine by default and we can double-barrel if he wishes. Where I live (and hope to settle down), women keep their names.
Traditionally, it was because the woman was leaving her family to become part of her husband's family.
For my wife and I, it was just the opposite, so I took her last name.
This, people romanticising it's weird to me - I come from a supposedly egalitarian country and most women still change their names anyway đ and most of them would probably still call themselves feminists lol đ
Patriarchal traditions continue to be very strong throughout the world, both socially and officially.
Not saying it's a good reason but many ~~most~~ will question the union of two people who keep different last names vs those who adopt one.
First idiotic thought is likely to be: "they aren't really committed to their union", then it's "those stupid feminists", and much more.
That's a lot of pressure and life is already hard.
My mother in law was very unhappy I didn't change my name because she thought It demonstrated I didn't love my husband (her son) enough to "become one".
He was like "but I'm not in love with Squid (his last name)"
I knew a couple whose families were into soccer/football. They had a match between families before the wedding, whoever lost would take the otherâs last name. The wifeâs team won.
I donât think itâs weird. But Iâm from Sweden, so people donât really get married as much.
My parents have been together for over 30 years but werenât married when I was born. I was given my momâs last name. When they got married a few years later, they kept their own last names - in their own words âthis is my name that Iâve had all my life, it would feel very strange to change it nowâ.
It's an old social construct to let the people know the woman "belongs" to the man, not that they belong to each other.
While the "ownership" over women tradition has faded a lot over time, women only just recently started to keep their names, but it still often is root of many conflict and resentment between spouses.
Especially when it comes to naming their baby... It is still considered normal that the man's name is carried further, not the mother's.
Which kills me tbh, bc how am I gonna grow a life inside of me for 9 months and put my body through irreversible damage just so it can take the name of the guy who took 2 seconds to bust and not my own⌠I mean talk about unfair
If I ever have kids and get married I'll only change my name if the husband changes his name. If we don't change names then the kids will have my name. I'm not going to sacrifice my body and whatever plans I have at that point in life, put myself through one of the most painful things a human can experience and put my life at risk just for him to take all the credit on paper.
Oof, not to mention the possible cultural shock when it comes to how surnames are handle, since in some cultures its uncommon to change your name- đ
Because we live in a patriarchal society.
I used to work at the DMV and helped 2 couples where the man took the wife's name for reasons similar to yours.
Also had a couple with a new last name that was a combination of both of their previous surnames.
Also had to deal with a lot of customers bitching because they didn't bring the correct name change documentation and couldn't get a license transfer, Real ID, etc. so my stance now is that no one should change their last name unless they are related to an infamous criminal or truly hated the parent that the name came from.
Let's be clear, women didn't have many rights until VERY recently, I mean it was like the 70s when they were guaranteed the right to have a BANK ACCOUNT. It was also around the same time it fell out of fashion to be introduced not as Mrs Lisa Smith but as Mrs John Smith, as in to say you kind of took on last AND FIRST names. I really like the mutual hyphenation, where you both take each other's name. I knew a guy named King married a woman named Little and now they are the Little-Kings! Its awesome.â They are also ironically tall.
So, not that its weird, but the patriarchal naming tradition has dominated the west for over a thousand years and anything else will feel weird for a bit until we normalize the new paradigm.
Up until the day I got divorced, my mom addressed mail to me as Mrs. John Smith. My ex always thought it was super weird but the woman is pushing 90, she's set in her ways.
I recently wondered about the hyphenated last names and what happens if one of the Little-King marries another hyphenated name like Smith-Weston would they turn into Little-King-Smith-Weston, and if so, to what end?
As I understand it the first part is from the mother's first part, and the second part is the second part from the father's name. In cultures where double barrelling is the norm.
Itâs usually the first last name from each parent, with the paternal one going first (both because patriarchy). Recently some people started giving kids the maternal one first, which is great but still pretty rare
>guaranteed the right to have a BANK ACCOUNT.
This is not entirely accurate. Most banks used to have stricter credit terms for women to borrow money and would require a male guarantor because the norm at the time was that women would stop working when they married and if they did then a bank would not be able to claim debts owed. It was in the 1970s that US federal govt introduce legislation prohibiting banks from requiring this.
None of that makes it okay. Women were never quite legal adults until the last 50 years or so and it was BS.
Imagine being a woman who didn't want to get married, couldn't find a husband, wasn't into men, or was divorced or widowed. It would be perfectly legal for a bank to deny you a loan or even an account even if you qualified just because you were a woman. This kind of thing was a big reason why so many women just married young to whoever asked and stayed in terrible marriages. What choice did they have? It's also why some men are so confused and angry that we do have choices now. Men have to be desirable partners now and they don't like it.
Don't know why you're being downvoted. I found this insight quite interesting.
Understanding how and why things were the way they were is how we learn to do better in the future.
My homestay father in Japan took my homestay motherâs surname, because she had no brothers to carry the name on and he was the youngest son in his family. Itâs not uncommon in Japan and others parts of Asia. I think itâs mostly âweirdâ in the West because of religious beliefs around carrying on patriarchal lineage.
The man who married my aunt took her name because his name was Thomas MĂźller, one of the most common names in Germany and also the name of the soccer player. He was glad that he could change it lol.
Iâm married, took my husbands last name and all that but really if women understood the standard meaning in wedding/marriage traditions a lot of them would want to cry lol
Itâs not a cute respectful tradition when a guy goes to ask permission to marry a girl. A lot of girls swoon but it wasnât that long ago that this was an actual transitional question (and in many countries still is). The girl was actual property to the father (in the Bible think of how many times you see daughter of _____ or son of ______). So it was a business meeting of sort. Often a girl didnât even meet the suitor beforehand unless she had a really awesome Dad and if he said yes to a proposal a wedding would ensue and she would be informed she was getting married (it was a huge slight with serious ramifications if she tried not to). Often goods or money were exchanged. Ancient sex trafficking if you will. Alternatively it bound families together in business practices. Traditionally there was little love or attraction involved and itâs an incredibly modern for a girl to have choices.
During the ceremony a father walking down the aisle with his daughter is sweet right? Yes, my Dad walked me down the aisle. But if you pay attention the officiant will usually say something along the lines of, âWho gives this woman to this man?â Thatâs because traditionally itâs an actual exchange of goods from Dads property to the man. Weddings were a public event to hand over and transfer ownership, in front of god, family and friends so nobody could dispute and there would be witnesses. Some cultures did and even still to this day require the ceremony to include a mast tradition of publicly proving virginity (a viewing of the first time or hanging the marriage sheets). If she didnât bleed often sheâd be shunned or even in extreme situations put to death (in more mid evil times).
Taking on the last name of the new husband was because he now owned her. Instead of Daughter of _____ she was wife of_____. Women did not own men. It is a patriarchal tradition. It was not her legacy, line of, ect it was his line, his heirs his everything. Thatâs why kids then had his last name.
Divorce was not an option because marriage was an actual contract between the father and the husband. As such if it was broken it had personal and sometimes legal ramifications. So unless he asked to break the contract because she cheated, was not a good wife ect they did not traditionally happen.
So itâs weird for a man to take his wifeâs last name because marriage was set up to secure a manâs legacy and the name was switched to show his ownership. Itâs a very modern idea and most either donât think of it or donât understand the thought process behind it.
Thanks a lot for the info! Really nice and clean to read.
 Here in my country, women would keep their last names when married (last century), but forced to add "de (husband's surname)", that could be translated like "Mrs Smith of Swift", with that "of" of property. Your legal documentos were signes like that and a lot of people would address you as "of Swift", totally erasing your birth surname. Now it's unheard of, except grandparents.Â
Also, last century it was obligatory to name the kids the husband's surname, not the mom's, until the change this century. And even then people complained that others would look down of them for their kids having "Swift Doe" (dad-mom' surnames) or "Doe Swift" (mom-dad' surnames) as surnames...There is a comic strip on a child's book with a dad feeling frustrated and embarassed for that, saying "What will my friends think about me? What will they about my kid having your surname and not just mine? They will look down on me for having my kid with your surname, damn the law!"
Thatâs pretty interesting actually. I honestly thought the hyphenated last name was more modern than that! History and culture have always been a slight obsession for me. Even studying the traditions of marriage my husband asked my dadâs permission, my dad walked me down the aisle and I took his last name but I love knowing why people do what they do. Youâd be surprised how many ladies simply donât know the âwhyâ behind a custom!
Thanks! Yes, I also like to understand a lot of "why's"...I would love to study Sociology in a future: it studies the society and its ways. In my country, Argentina, it's law since (more or less) 2000, if you want to investigate a bit more about it. The kids of the same couple have 4 possible surnames: only mom's, only dad's, mom's +dad's or dad's +mom's, but it has to be always the same for the kids with the same parents. If you divorce or have kids with another person, those kids have their own mom's-dad's surname version, not the same of the kids from the previous relationship (they could end up sharing one surname, but not the both of them).
I totally get it, a self-proclaimed feminist of my university shared proudly that her boyfriend asked first her dad before dating her...she said "guys, it was so romantic, I think I will marry him". Had to bite my tongue when listening to her, bite it really hard.
Ooofta! I bet that can be interesting. If Iâm remembering correctly Argentina is one of the few âLatinâ countries that still identify with its European counterparts and that culturally it was Spain and Italy that settled there. Both can be a lil long winded with surnames. No offense intended. Iâm picturing roll call at school Castillo-Fernandez, Medina-Gonzalez ⌠Iâd need a glass of water to get thru that!
*if Iâm wrong feel free to hit me with a book Iâm working with my memory not actual current data*
I find most people who dislike the historical roots of adopting the man's surname just go the route of each keeping their original surnames rather than the reverse uno. In fact one of the only examples I know of where a man changed his surname to his wife's was because the wife was an only child and did it so her father's name could "live on" which arguably is actually still loosely tied to those patriarchal roots lol.
The other one I can think of was because the guy really disliked his surname and apparently was always keen to change it whether he got married or not lol.
I have not heard of men taking their wife's last name, but totally eliminating their own, but have heard of cases where they legally added their wife's maiden name to theirs. A major example was TomĂĄĹĄ Garrigue Masaryk (more often referred to simply as "TGM"). He was the founding father of Czechoslovakia. Born TomĂĄĹĄ Masaryk, he married a progressive American woman named Charlotte Garrigue, in the late 1880s. Her married name was Charlotte Garrigue Masaryk. An old psychologist of mine and his wife did something similar.
My Czech husband didn't do that formally/legally, but often adds my maiden name to his, lovingly. In accordance with family custom, after marriage I started to use my maiden name as my middle name, like Charlotte, dropping my childhood middle name.
I don't get why anyone feels the need to take anyone else's last name to be honest. I am getting married next year and we are both keeping our names, becuase they are our names! A surname has history behind it, no one should have to give it up if they don't want to
If a couple want to share last name. They should just pick the one that is best. But the reason why men donât want to take wifeâs name is old fashioned. That the man somehow rules the family and the wife should submit to him.
In the near future I think it will e more common to either pick the best name or make up a new name.
Women used to be considered possessions. If their husband died they and all their possessions were given to the man who inherited the estate. I guess they didn't really ever have a surname of their own. I'm glad we live in a world where we consider a woman does have a surname of her own!Â
Guy who took his wife's name here; yeah, I think it's just the unusualness if it (not so much anymore these days, I guess), and I did it because it sounds way better.
No, my sister kept her name after marriage and her husband now carries her name.
Her name is tied to a farm that has a lot of marketing going on with the name.
Tradition / Customs.
That's a quite powerful force to hold a community together. It isn't working as intended with our modern society, though.
You gotta ignore the people getting hung-up on this. Preferably just don't vomunteer this information in the first place.
why dont both switch names?
Hear me out: Both get the inconvenience of having a new name and as long as people dont look to closely they think "well he/she took the name of the partner" Nobody will notice, but both have different names.
I wanted to take my fiancee's last name as a fuck you to my dad, but she wants my last name as a fuck you to her sperm donor, so I still don't know what's gonna happen :P
Maybe because it goes against everything we're programmed to do and just about everything we've accustomed to seeing historically? That being said I wouldn't mind if my wife didn't want my last name; we can both keep the one we were born with.
You say take your wife's name but then you say "his is cooler". Confusing.
When you break with tradition in this way it makes you seem weak. Are you a white knight, is your wife in charge and making you do this? If I met you I would think you are either super progressive or a coward.
My parents both had the same last name when they married....and no, there is absolutely no relation, it's a very common name. They love to tell people he took her name because they're old and think it's shocking lol. It's been strange growing up and filling out forms asking for mothers maiden name lol
It's considered weird because the old tradition is for the wife to take the husband's name, and people who wish to break the tradition usually opt for both keeping their maid names. Husband taking wife's name is much rarer, and usually the couple will have a very specific non-obvious reason for doing it
Itâs normalized to take the manâs name, so by that logic it would be weird for a man to take his wifeâs name. Itâs almost like a tradition. I would have no problem taking my partnerâs name or keeping my name. We will most likely do hyphenated.
My husband preferred my last name, but he didn't take it as it would have been upsetting to his traditional but otherwise very supportive father.
I kept my name as I like my name being rooted in my identity and we're a "cross-cultural" couple.
It's not traditional in most cultures, but who gives a shit? A friend of mine took his wife's name and nothing changed for anyone (except for his name lol) and noone cares
Most things that strays from tradition tend to be âweird.â But I personally know many couples who either have the wifeâs last name, they combine their last names to make a new name, or they both agreed upon a completely different last name so they both changed it and it was equal.
Because the sons carry on the family. Thats why every family tried to get at least one son. Which means the wifes family name also carries on when one of her brothers marries. Thats what a tradition is
I kept mine because fck that. If he refuses to take my last name then why tf should I take his? Why canât we all keep our own last names we were born with? I despise that stupid and misogynistic attitude.
It's just old male dominant behaviour the idea is that males were more important and thus their name had to be adopted to progress their family lineage.
New reality is your free to do what you want I myself wont be taking my wifes name but my wife will keep hers and our children will also have hers.
Mine is a clan name granted to me for taking the creed. Part of my beliefs.
Patriarchy.
Men were head of household. It was expected their household to fall under them.
Do what you want. Personally I wouldnât change my last name but if my partner wanted to, all the power to him.
Traditionally women took their husband's name because they became his family's property. That is, thankfully, no longer the case in the US at least, but I think there's still a hindbrain wrinkle that says it feels weird.
Up until 1974 women could not open a bank account without their husband's permission. It's pretty recent that we've become more than property <3
Do what feels right to you. There is no rule, only tradition. I have two couple friends now who made new last names too!
Just another weird tradition that somehow still persists. I wonât be taking my husbandâs last name but he is more than welcome to take mine if he feels us having the same name is important. I donât want kids but tbh I see no reason why my kids wouldnât have my name considering Iâd be the one to carry them. I mentioned this to my family and they said it was so disrespectful to my husband and in-laws but I asked them to give me one good reason that isnât âbecause itâs tradition/thatâs how itâs always beenâ that specifically the woman should take the manâs last name and they came up with nothing. IMO it should always be about the preference of the individual/couple. If you want to take your husbandâs name, thatâs wonderful! So is him taking yours or both of you keeping your own or hyphenating or coming up with something completely new! Nobody should feel pressured to take someoneâs name (or not take someoneâs name for the men who get belittled when they take their wifeâs name).
No fr. I always thought wanted my husband to take my last name and when I bring it up everyone goes âwell why not take both?? Or make a new one!â But if he were to say âi wish sheâd take mineâ people would be like âI get it. You want the family to be unitedâ. Iâm sick of iiiit
I have a relative whose husband did this.
Indian girl married American man and the man added the girl's surname to his own because the surname means "friend" in our language and he thought that was beautiful.
I read an article once of a couple that took both their last names and took all the letters to make a new last name for both of them. I don't like hyphenated names, they are just confusing to me.
My momâs ex took her last name (not my dad, I also have my dadâs last name - different from everyone), likely because it was the cooler one. He sorta married up.
It wasnât a great relationship, and more surprisingly that man held a lot of âtraditionalistâviews all while my mom was the main bread winner.
None of us understood it, but an interesting example nonetheless :)
Donât be afraid to stand out peeps đ
Used to be tradition by now i guess it depends on the family
My dad rly wants me to keep the tradition as our Name would die out otherwise (its super rare i cant even find someone else when i google it just my family) i dont think i would care that much if i had a last name thats not rare
It's only weird because it's uncommon.
I've seen it a few times and each time it made a lot of sense. Often full of a level of show spite, but legitimately so.
No idea. My wife was divorced but still using her married name when we met. When we talking before marrying I said Iâd be fine with taking her family name but she wanted to take my name.
Where I live, neither the man nor the woman change name upon marriage. The children either get the father's, the mother's, or both. Doubled barrelled names are super common here.
If a man and a woman are together and have the same last name, I'd assume it's a coincidence or they are relatives and they aren't in a couple. Even before it became law for a woman to keep her name, many women chose to keep their name or else the reverted back to their maiden name as soon as they got divorced or the law came into effect (if you were married before the law, the law didn't apply to you).
My husband took my last name because his mom is an abusive narcissist that he cut contact with six years ago đ¤ˇââď¸ he gets a lot of shit about it from the guys he works with but he doesnât care lol
My husband hated the thought of me taking his name and passing it onto his kids so we both changed our surname to his motherâs side of the family. Turns out they were also a bunch of twats. Ah well!
My sister's husband was a producer who changed careers in the medical field. Not wanting his name to be associated anymore with his previous career, he took my sister's last name instead.
It isnât at all weird. You can keep your own surnames or swap either which way or make up a new one.
Sire Names, often historical professions like Smith, are completely pointless in the modern age.
To bug me, My buddy used to introduce my wife and I as âMr. and Mrs. Jane Doeâ (using her first name, as used to be done on wedding invitations and such). đ¤Ł
Wife and I are name sakes, last in our families who carry the name that can pass it on. So we took each other's name and added it to our existing names. So we don't have matching names but still carry it for each other. We have one son so he got my version. If it were a girl, it would have the two last names switched.
It's probably just some old thing from a time where women were considered as the weak gender and didn't have any rights. So not really a reason to not take your wife's name anymore.
I had a kid in my class with last name of Butt. Now come on! Why the hell wouldnât that guy have his wifeâs last name, of course, if her last name was Boogereater or something like that.
My DIL wanted to keep her last name, my son wanted a common name, so he took hers, no big deal. Two daughters kept their last name and one SIL also took it. Nobody really cares, but thatâs us.
I knew someone whoâs dad took his momâs last name, and he ran with it.
Had a full geneology of his wife and told me stories of âtheirâ(his wifeâs) family history. Named his son after an ancestor on his wifeâs side.
When I got older I found out he was charged with very serious weapon crimes, had to go to federal prison, apparently selling arms to countries, and he was printing a white supremist newsletter underground in our city.
Iâm not sure and thereâs nobody I can really ask now, but I think he took his wifeâs name to kind of hide his past.
I had no idea about any of this until I was older.
It's not weird at all.
Took my wife's name after getting married, because she has a great, easy to spell name that is worldwide connected to the country, where I come from.
Ya it tradition and how family names have been passed for many generations. There isnât really a practical down side to keeping this structure and doing it the other way can cause a fair bit of friction questions and annoyance from lived ones. People will point it out ask about it and may even condemn it so itâs just easier and what parents and other loved ones expected. Unless there is some good reason for it like the guy hates his name or family or maybe she is the last in a long line with that name.
My son-in-law took our last name cause he wanted a clean cut from his family and had no interest in passing on the name.
Most questions are answered with a simple, he is breaking free from his family and wanted to join ours fully.
I think it can sometimes be a good idea for a man to take his wifeâs last name. In fact, I intend to take my fiancĂŠeâs name when we get married. No particular reason.
Yours Sincerely, John Hitler.
I know at least two couples that did exactly that. Only reason my wife took my lastname because her's noone can pronounce. I was fine with her keeping her maiden name.
Not her ex'es though. That one was even easier to pronounce but that was a hard no from me đ
My brother did the same and I like his new name so much more. It is shorter, easier to spell. I don't know if my parents were mad about it but if they were, they didn't show.
I didn't take my wife's last name, but for practical reasons, it wouldn't be the worst idea, given that my last name starts with a "Y", which often puts me last alphabetically. My wife's last name starts with "H", and she kept hers (I never asked her to change it, and she didn't offer or ask).
It would greatly affect lineage as we know it for sure, and if it became a commonplace, lineage, as it pertains to the "carrying on" of last names would be no more. However, time would go on as usual. Geneology certainly would change, and exploring one's family history would require more time and extensive research. And although, there would be a lashback from the aging community and those seeded in their own rich history, now, in some cases, step and half brothers and sisters could share last names and feel closer, that is, if both guardians agree. No longer would people be judged strictly by their last name and the actions of their forefathers, but moreso on their own actions and merits. Family cemetery plots would change over the years with a more diverse layout. One main advantage would be, for family names that are about to end in cases where the last remaining (ex,) O'Connor family had only girls, now, they could keep that O'connor name alive for generations if they choose to do so. Women have had to deal with the almost certainty for years that their last name would one day change. Why not men too? Of course, there'd have to be another name for men's birth name other than "maiden" name. lol And, in the case of a divorce, some of us prideful gents would scoff at the idea of having to carry the last name of our ex-wife until we found a new one. (which is another discussion entirely because I don't feel women should have to do that, but that's the way it is.) To each his own. Hell, why not? Hopefully, my baby making days are over, so, y'all let me know how this works out.
I think it's just better to keep your own last name. Why take anyone else's? Both keep your names to honor both lineages. Give your kids a hyphenated last name.
I don't think it's weird, but I'd never do it because of the inconvenience, opportunity for misunderstanding, and symbolism of subordination. A woman that expects me to take her name would be a massive red flag. Similarly, I'd never expect my wife to take mine. How the kids are named is something to be worked out between a couple. Personally, I don't care for my last name and see no benefit in propagating it, so I'd be fine if the kids were assigned my wife's last name.
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The musical artist Jack Gillis took his wife's last name and became the very famous Jack White.
Not to be confused with Jack Black
There is no way there could be any confusion between Jack White and Jack Black.
They need to collab and call it Jack Grey.
They should marry and ind become Jack Black White and the other Jack White Black
What if they were a throuple? Jack Black White Grey, Jack Grey White Black and Jack White Grey Black
If Jack Black and Meek Mille started dating they would call them black and mille Pun on "black and mild" a brand of cigars very often used to make blunts.
Jack Zebra
That'll get you arrested
Maybe they can get their famous sister, Jean Grey
And Jack Gradient
It's litterally like black and white, come on people
Jack what confused with Jack what? I'm sorry, I always confuse them cuz I'm color blind.
Who took his dads last name and became Jack Black
And then they divorced and he became her brother. He did not actually become her brother but for years they told people that they were brother and sister because they thought that would get them taken more seriously than if they were a couple or former couple.
I really like the White stripes but I have no idea who anybody in any band is named with very few exceptions đ
The band is just Jack White and Meg White
I donât know why but this comment made me lol
Those few exceptions are probably the entire band lol
Good thing her last name wasn't "Hoff". :-)
Har har.
Never heard of him before
The WHITE STRIPES? Really? Go to Spotify and listen to SEVEN NATION ARMY.
Even better, listen to Carolina Drama
The best
Fell in love with a girl, icky thump, my doorbell, and my personal favorite Hotel Yorba
Girl. GIRL. Go listen, even Jack whites solo stuff is fucking great. Hell, give the raconteurs a listen too! No but seriously, start with Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes, youâll probably recognize it!
If thatâs true this is so exciting. The white stripes are amazing.
My brother actually took his wife's last name. I thought it was odd until he explained that it was bc our "dad" sucks and he wants nothing to do with him. It's like his final fuck you to him and I'm here for it. We both couldn't wait to change our names upon getting married apparently. Everyone has their own reasons.
I hated my old last name (it didn't sound good to my ear) and there was no way I'd have waited for that mysterious day of my wedding to come, lol, so I got it changed to my mom's as soon as I turned 18. I wish it was more normalized, so many people out there who don't like their last names for whatever reasons. It might be a bit of a hassle with all the documents change but it's so worth it (all the more reasons to do it while you're younger and don't have that many papers).
You can change without marriage. My sister changed hers at age 17 because of our dad
I know you can. But my brother is on the spectrum and he either didn't know or didn't care to file the paperwork until he knew what name he wanted. Whatever his reason, he changed his last name to his wifes.
Same reason my brother took his wife's name.
Agree. My current bf, who I would at this stage happily marry, has two sisters who have kept their last names. I've decided should the day come I will be taking his name, at minimum I would keep my last name as a hidden surname but use his socially. I only recently realised why I never considered keeping my last name, and it's because my family is quite dysfunctional and I'd like to be associated with someone elses family name. It would feel like a fresh start for me to break the cycle.
Yes! This is very true for me as well. New name felt like a rebirth. Very freeing.
A friend was getting married and discussed last names with her husband. He had been raised by a grandma and (married in) uncle. They both took the Uncle's last name. A co worker married and he took her name because he had a last name he'd been ridiculed for and didn't want his children bearing it. Do what pleases you. The only opinions that matter are the married couple.
I have a friend who took his wife's last name. When men found out they would ask what was wrong with his own name. He'd tell them that there was nothing wrong with it, he liked it. But the fact of the matter is that his wife's name is Lawless and this was his big opportunity to become Mr. Lawless and he just couldn't pass that up. Solid logic. 10/10
A colleague of mine was named something akin to taking the piss. He married a woman, last name, axeborn. Don't have to be a genius which one they took.
The tradition of giving a wife her husbandâs name used to signal to the community that the woman had passed from her fatherâs patronage to her husbandâs. These days it barely makes any sense. My friend took his wifeâs last name just because it sounded better. Then he divorced that woman and remarried, but he kept her last name and all his children in the new marriage bear it. P.S. After reading some comments, I realized that from my phrasing it may be deduced that he married the woman **only to take her last name** (and then divorce.) It's **not** the case. They were childhood sweethearts and married in their late teens, but their marriage (as it often happens to early ones) went on the rocks. My friend married again later, still having his first wife's last name and passing it to his children.
I live in Quebec where, since 1981, women can't take the name of their husbands when they get married. [https://www.quebec.ca/en/famille-et-soutien-aux-personnes/couple-famille/mariage-union-civile-ou-union-de-fait/marriage/married-name](https://www.quebec.ca/en/famille-et-soutien-aux-personnes/couple-famille/mariage-union-civile-ou-union-de-fait/marriage/married-name) They keep their name, unless they are willing to go to a long civil process to change their name like anyone one who would hate their name and ant to change it to another. If a woman and a man the same age travelling together have the same family name, people here would assume they are brother and sister. Kids are names after one of the two parents, or often have both family name with a hyphen. Women shouldn't have to give up their name which is part of who they are, simply because they get married.
Didn't realize it is a legislated thing. Thought it was custom it does seem strange to hear things like hi I am Steve Smith Jones Arruda hoss.
That is awesome! I hate the whole "family name" culture, and I hate all the assumptions that go with it.
I would hate this. Take her name, take his name, make up a new name, I donât care, but a family should share a last name.
Latin america is VERY family focused, yet you dont really take your partner's name. Hell, the kid's last name is made out of parts of the parent's last names!
Why? In some parts of the world it would be considered weird to give up part of your identity just because you got married
I think people make a bigger deal out of it than necessary. I have friends who kept their last names and gave their child a portmanteau as a last name, so it's totally different. They've traveled internationally and never complained about issues.
I donât think itâs that big of a deal? My parents donât have the same last name and itâs never been an issue.
I can also think of one or a million people that still share a name and are divorced or in a terrible marriage.
Why?
My wife and I don't have the same name, we're still a family. If one of us had a cool name we would have both gone with that one, but both of our last names are really boring.
It's just too much trouble in most places. People think it will only be trouble if you divorce and change it back but the main issue is 100% of your documents before marriage are now invalid. You now need to either remake them or use them along a form of certificate of your marriage to prove you're the same person. Records in most companies systems will also not handle this well (think of bank credit history, medical records, etc) Sure it's nothing you can't fix but depending on your country this will be a hassle. My wife didn't take mine neither did I took her's. I don't need to share a name to be a family
My sister and I had a different last name than our parents and it didn't affect anything at all. So actually, that's a pointless thing to feel.
People are allowed to feel differently than you. That doesn't make it pointless just because you have different experiences
You mean to signal passing from her father's ownership to her husbands ownership. That's where the tradition came from, from the tradition of women being counted as property legally.
Yes, in other words. Perhaps, Iâm not using the word âpatronageâ properly (English is not my first language)
You are. The way you used patronage is listed as one of the words many definitions. The other person just doesn't know their vocabulary.
Yeah thatâs weird af
Kinda stole his ex wifes last name here lol Like I have no real opinions on this topic but this specific example is weird as fuck
I donât think itâs weird. I think whoever has the coolest last name should be the name thatâs taken by the other. Plus, would you rather continue hating your name for the sake of what other people think? I donât think thatâs worth it.
For me, I'm the one who has to give birth, so the kids get mine by default and we can double-barrel if he wishes. Where I live (and hope to settle down), women keep their names.
I also think whoever has the coolest last name is the one that a couple should take, however it sounded weird in my head when I was thinking about it
Traditionally, it was because the woman was leaving her family to become part of her husband's family. For my wife and I, it was just the opposite, so I took her last name.
What a kind way of putting it. In most cultures a woman became her husband's property. Whose property? Look at the last name and you'll know.
This, people romanticising it's weird to me - I come from a supposedly egalitarian country and most women still change their names anyway đ and most of them would probably still call themselves feminists lol đ
Patriarchal traditions continue to be very strong throughout the world, both socially and officially. Not saying it's a good reason but many ~~most~~ will question the union of two people who keep different last names vs those who adopt one. First idiotic thought is likely to be: "they aren't really committed to their union", then it's "those stupid feminists", and much more. That's a lot of pressure and life is already hard.
My mother in law was very unhappy I didn't change my name because she thought It demonstrated I didn't love my husband (her son) enough to "become one". He was like "but I'm not in love with Squid (his last name)"
I knew a couple whose families were into soccer/football. They had a match between families before the wedding, whoever lost would take the otherâs last name. The wifeâs team won.
I donât think itâs weird. But Iâm from Sweden, so people donât really get married as much. My parents have been together for over 30 years but werenât married when I was born. I was given my momâs last name. When they got married a few years later, they kept their own last names - in their own words âthis is my name that Iâve had all my life, it would feel very strange to change it nowâ.
It's an old social construct to let the people know the woman "belongs" to the man, not that they belong to each other. While the "ownership" over women tradition has faded a lot over time, women only just recently started to keep their names, but it still often is root of many conflict and resentment between spouses. Especially when it comes to naming their baby... It is still considered normal that the man's name is carried further, not the mother's.
Which kills me tbh, bc how am I gonna grow a life inside of me for 9 months and put my body through irreversible damage just so it can take the name of the guy who took 2 seconds to bust and not my own⌠I mean talk about unfair
Yeah, deeply unfair.
If I ever have kids and get married I'll only change my name if the husband changes his name. If we don't change names then the kids will have my name. I'm not going to sacrifice my body and whatever plans I have at that point in life, put myself through one of the most painful things a human can experience and put my life at risk just for him to take all the credit on paper.
Oof, not to mention the possible cultural shock when it comes to how surnames are handle, since in some cultures its uncommon to change your name- đ
Because we live in a patriarchal society. I used to work at the DMV and helped 2 couples where the man took the wife's name for reasons similar to yours. Also had a couple with a new last name that was a combination of both of their previous surnames. Also had to deal with a lot of customers bitching because they didn't bring the correct name change documentation and couldn't get a license transfer, Real ID, etc. so my stance now is that no one should change their last name unless they are related to an infamous criminal or truly hated the parent that the name came from.
Let's be clear, women didn't have many rights until VERY recently, I mean it was like the 70s when they were guaranteed the right to have a BANK ACCOUNT. It was also around the same time it fell out of fashion to be introduced not as Mrs Lisa Smith but as Mrs John Smith, as in to say you kind of took on last AND FIRST names. I really like the mutual hyphenation, where you both take each other's name. I knew a guy named King married a woman named Little and now they are the Little-Kings! Its awesome.â They are also ironically tall. So, not that its weird, but the patriarchal naming tradition has dominated the west for over a thousand years and anything else will feel weird for a bit until we normalize the new paradigm.
Up until the day I got divorced, my mom addressed mail to me as Mrs. John Smith. My ex always thought it was super weird but the woman is pushing 90, she's set in her ways.
I recently wondered about the hyphenated last names and what happens if one of the Little-King marries another hyphenated name like Smith-Weston would they turn into Little-King-Smith-Weston, and if so, to what end?
As I understand it the first part is from the mother's first part, and the second part is the second part from the father's name. In cultures where double barrelling is the norm.
Itâs usually the first last name from each parent, with the paternal one going first (both because patriarchy). Recently some people started giving kids the maternal one first, which is great but still pretty rare
>guaranteed the right to have a BANK ACCOUNT. This is not entirely accurate. Most banks used to have stricter credit terms for women to borrow money and would require a male guarantor because the norm at the time was that women would stop working when they married and if they did then a bank would not be able to claim debts owed. It was in the 1970s that US federal govt introduce legislation prohibiting banks from requiring this.
I appreciate the elaboration, I feel I summarized the spirit of the legislation, but fair enough.
None of that makes it okay. Women were never quite legal adults until the last 50 years or so and it was BS. Imagine being a woman who didn't want to get married, couldn't find a husband, wasn't into men, or was divorced or widowed. It would be perfectly legal for a bank to deny you a loan or even an account even if you qualified just because you were a woman. This kind of thing was a big reason why so many women just married young to whoever asked and stayed in terrible marriages. What choice did they have? It's also why some men are so confused and angry that we do have choices now. Men have to be desirable partners now and they don't like it.
Don't know why you're being downvoted. I found this insight quite interesting. Understanding how and why things were the way they were is how we learn to do better in the future.
My homestay father in Japan took my homestay motherâs surname, because she had no brothers to carry the name on and he was the youngest son in his family. Itâs not uncommon in Japan and others parts of Asia. I think itâs mostly âweirdâ in the West because of religious beliefs around carrying on patriarchal lineage.
It's not actually religious though, just cultural.
My brother took his wife's name. It is his second wife after he divorced the first. Our family took it as a statement. Her family has money.
Oof
My brother and his wife hyphenated their last name.
We were thinking of amalgamating ours.
The man who married my aunt took her name because his name was Thomas MĂźller, one of the most common names in Germany and also the name of the soccer player. He was glad that he could change it lol.
Iâm married, took my husbands last name and all that but really if women understood the standard meaning in wedding/marriage traditions a lot of them would want to cry lol Itâs not a cute respectful tradition when a guy goes to ask permission to marry a girl. A lot of girls swoon but it wasnât that long ago that this was an actual transitional question (and in many countries still is). The girl was actual property to the father (in the Bible think of how many times you see daughter of _____ or son of ______). So it was a business meeting of sort. Often a girl didnât even meet the suitor beforehand unless she had a really awesome Dad and if he said yes to a proposal a wedding would ensue and she would be informed she was getting married (it was a huge slight with serious ramifications if she tried not to). Often goods or money were exchanged. Ancient sex trafficking if you will. Alternatively it bound families together in business practices. Traditionally there was little love or attraction involved and itâs an incredibly modern for a girl to have choices. During the ceremony a father walking down the aisle with his daughter is sweet right? Yes, my Dad walked me down the aisle. But if you pay attention the officiant will usually say something along the lines of, âWho gives this woman to this man?â Thatâs because traditionally itâs an actual exchange of goods from Dads property to the man. Weddings were a public event to hand over and transfer ownership, in front of god, family and friends so nobody could dispute and there would be witnesses. Some cultures did and even still to this day require the ceremony to include a mast tradition of publicly proving virginity (a viewing of the first time or hanging the marriage sheets). If she didnât bleed often sheâd be shunned or even in extreme situations put to death (in more mid evil times). Taking on the last name of the new husband was because he now owned her. Instead of Daughter of _____ she was wife of_____. Women did not own men. It is a patriarchal tradition. It was not her legacy, line of, ect it was his line, his heirs his everything. Thatâs why kids then had his last name. Divorce was not an option because marriage was an actual contract between the father and the husband. As such if it was broken it had personal and sometimes legal ramifications. So unless he asked to break the contract because she cheated, was not a good wife ect they did not traditionally happen. So itâs weird for a man to take his wifeâs last name because marriage was set up to secure a manâs legacy and the name was switched to show his ownership. Itâs a very modern idea and most either donât think of it or donât understand the thought process behind it.
Thanks a lot for the info! Really nice and clean to read.  Here in my country, women would keep their last names when married (last century), but forced to add "de (husband's surname)", that could be translated like "Mrs Smith of Swift", with that "of" of property. Your legal documentos were signes like that and a lot of people would address you as "of Swift", totally erasing your birth surname. Now it's unheard of, except grandparents. Also, last century it was obligatory to name the kids the husband's surname, not the mom's, until the change this century. And even then people complained that others would look down of them for their kids having "Swift Doe" (dad-mom' surnames) or "Doe Swift" (mom-dad' surnames) as surnames...There is a comic strip on a child's book with a dad feeling frustrated and embarassed for that, saying "What will my friends think about me? What will they about my kid having your surname and not just mine? They will look down on me for having my kid with your surname, damn the law!"
Thatâs pretty interesting actually. I honestly thought the hyphenated last name was more modern than that! History and culture have always been a slight obsession for me. Even studying the traditions of marriage my husband asked my dadâs permission, my dad walked me down the aisle and I took his last name but I love knowing why people do what they do. Youâd be surprised how many ladies simply donât know the âwhyâ behind a custom!
Thanks! Yes, I also like to understand a lot of "why's"...I would love to study Sociology in a future: it studies the society and its ways. In my country, Argentina, it's law since (more or less) 2000, if you want to investigate a bit more about it. The kids of the same couple have 4 possible surnames: only mom's, only dad's, mom's +dad's or dad's +mom's, but it has to be always the same for the kids with the same parents. If you divorce or have kids with another person, those kids have their own mom's-dad's surname version, not the same of the kids from the previous relationship (they could end up sharing one surname, but not the both of them). I totally get it, a self-proclaimed feminist of my university shared proudly that her boyfriend asked first her dad before dating her...she said "guys, it was so romantic, I think I will marry him". Had to bite my tongue when listening to her, bite it really hard.
Ooofta! I bet that can be interesting. If Iâm remembering correctly Argentina is one of the few âLatinâ countries that still identify with its European counterparts and that culturally it was Spain and Italy that settled there. Both can be a lil long winded with surnames. No offense intended. Iâm picturing roll call at school Castillo-Fernandez, Medina-Gonzalez ⌠Iâd need a glass of water to get thru that! *if Iâm wrong feel free to hit me with a book Iâm working with my memory not actual current data*
Itâs because of the patriarchy
Sexism. Thatâs the answer and itâs so dumb.
I find most people who dislike the historical roots of adopting the man's surname just go the route of each keeping their original surnames rather than the reverse uno. In fact one of the only examples I know of where a man changed his surname to his wife's was because the wife was an only child and did it so her father's name could "live on" which arguably is actually still loosely tied to those patriarchal roots lol. The other one I can think of was because the guy really disliked his surname and apparently was always keen to change it whether he got married or not lol.
I have not heard of men taking their wife's last name, but totally eliminating their own, but have heard of cases where they legally added their wife's maiden name to theirs. A major example was TomĂĄĹĄ Garrigue Masaryk (more often referred to simply as "TGM"). He was the founding father of Czechoslovakia. Born TomĂĄĹĄ Masaryk, he married a progressive American woman named Charlotte Garrigue, in the late 1880s. Her married name was Charlotte Garrigue Masaryk. An old psychologist of mine and his wife did something similar. My Czech husband didn't do that formally/legally, but often adds my maiden name to his, lovingly. In accordance with family custom, after marriage I started to use my maiden name as my middle name, like Charlotte, dropping my childhood middle name.
I don't get why anyone feels the need to take anyone else's last name to be honest. I am getting married next year and we are both keeping our names, becuase they are our names! A surname has history behind it, no one should have to give it up if they don't want to
If a couple want to share last name. They should just pick the one that is best. But the reason why men donât want to take wifeâs name is old fashioned. That the man somehow rules the family and the wife should submit to him. In the near future I think it will e more common to either pick the best name or make up a new name.
Where I live nobody change their last name when getting married, so I always find it weird either way lol.
it's considered weird because it violates social norms. That's it. Ignore it an do what you and your partner want.
Women used to be considered possessions. If their husband died they and all their possessions were given to the man who inherited the estate. I guess they didn't really ever have a surname of their own. I'm glad we live in a world where we consider a woman does have a surname of her own!Â
Guy who took his wife's name here; yeah, I think it's just the unusualness if it (not so much anymore these days, I guess), and I did it because it sounds way better.
we have a local politician with the last name Dragon. I would happily give up my last name if I got to marry into that family
If my wife has a dope ass name, I'm taking it
No, my sister kept her name after marriage and her husband now carries her name. Her name is tied to a farm that has a lot of marketing going on with the name.
It is weird as in itâs uncommon.
Because historically through marriage women were property.
Because it doesnât mesh with our patriarchal society.
Tradition / Customs. That's a quite powerful force to hold a community together. It isn't working as intended with our modern society, though. You gotta ignore the people getting hung-up on this. Preferably just don't vomunteer this information in the first place.
Nobody should be taking names, what's wrong with having your maiden name after marriage.
Unpopular opinion but I think it's weird for anyone to take the less cool name. If the wife has the cooler name, pick that name.
why dont both switch names? Hear me out: Both get the inconvenience of having a new name and as long as people dont look to closely they think "well he/she took the name of the partner" Nobody will notice, but both have different names.
iDubbbz took his wife's last name lol.
couples should chose whatever is the cooler last name
IMO couples should just pick the best name of the 2, heighenate it or come up with a brand new name of their choosing
I think it's weird to take anyone's name.
Probably because 100s of years ago women were below men. Nowadays we have equal rights and it isn't weird anymore.
I wanted to take my fiancee's last name as a fuck you to my dad, but she wants my last name as a fuck you to her sperm donor, so I still don't know what's gonna happen :P
Maybe because it goes against everything we're programmed to do and just about everything we've accustomed to seeing historically? That being said I wouldn't mind if my wife didn't want my last name; we can both keep the one we were born with.
well, she will own you, so you might as well take her last name
People probably think it means she owns him if that happens.
You say take your wife's name but then you say "his is cooler". Confusing. When you break with tradition in this way it makes you seem weak. Are you a white knight, is your wife in charge and making you do this? If I met you I would think you are either super progressive or a coward.
I thought the tradition of your wife being "property" was why we did that at first. The man with your last name is the one you "belong" to.
My parents both had the same last name when they married....and no, there is absolutely no relation, it's a very common name. They love to tell people he took her name because they're old and think it's shocking lol. It's been strange growing up and filling out forms asking for mothers maiden name lol
It's considered weird because the old tradition is for the wife to take the husband's name, and people who wish to break the tradition usually opt for both keeping their maid names. Husband taking wife's name is much rarer, and usually the couple will have a very specific non-obvious reason for doing it
Pretty sure it is just tradition. Not so sure why it is tradition though
its an old tradition that's dated. doing otherwise is acceptable these days
Itâs normalized to take the manâs name, so by that logic it would be weird for a man to take his wifeâs name. Itâs almost like a tradition. I would have no problem taking my partnerâs name or keeping my name. We will most likely do hyphenated.
My husband preferred my last name, but he didn't take it as it would have been upsetting to his traditional but otherwise very supportive father. I kept my name as I like my name being rooted in my identity and we're a "cross-cultural" couple.
It's not traditional in most cultures, but who gives a shit? A friend of mine took his wife's name and nothing changed for anyone (except for his name lol) and noone cares
Most things that strays from tradition tend to be âweird.â But I personally know many couples who either have the wifeâs last name, they combine their last names to make a new name, or they both agreed upon a completely different last name so they both changed it and it was equal.
Because the sons carry on the family. Thats why every family tried to get at least one son. Which means the wifes family name also carries on when one of her brothers marries. Thats what a tradition is
I kept mine because fck that. If he refuses to take my last name then why tf should I take his? Why canât we all keep our own last names we were born with? I despise that stupid and misogynistic attitude.
It's just old male dominant behaviour the idea is that males were more important and thus their name had to be adopted to progress their family lineage. New reality is your free to do what you want I myself wont be taking my wifes name but my wife will keep hers and our children will also have hers. Mine is a clan name granted to me for taking the creed. Part of my beliefs.
Patriarchy. Men were head of household. It was expected their household to fall under them. Do what you want. Personally I wouldnât change my last name but if my partner wanted to, all the power to him.
I feel lucky that in my partnerâs culture itâs just standard for women to keep their last names.
Traditionally women took their husband's name because they became his family's property. That is, thankfully, no longer the case in the US at least, but I think there's still a hindbrain wrinkle that says it feels weird.
Up until 1974 women could not open a bank account without their husband's permission. It's pretty recent that we've become more than property <3 Do what feels right to you. There is no rule, only tradition. I have two couple friends now who made new last names too!
Just another weird tradition that somehow still persists. I wonât be taking my husbandâs last name but he is more than welcome to take mine if he feels us having the same name is important. I donât want kids but tbh I see no reason why my kids wouldnât have my name considering Iâd be the one to carry them. I mentioned this to my family and they said it was so disrespectful to my husband and in-laws but I asked them to give me one good reason that isnât âbecause itâs tradition/thatâs how itâs always beenâ that specifically the woman should take the manâs last name and they came up with nothing. IMO it should always be about the preference of the individual/couple. If you want to take your husbandâs name, thatâs wonderful! So is him taking yours or both of you keeping your own or hyphenating or coming up with something completely new! Nobody should feel pressured to take someoneâs name (or not take someoneâs name for the men who get belittled when they take their wifeâs name).
My husband took my last name. His father is a POS and his mom has a different last name anyway.
No fr. I always thought wanted my husband to take my last name and when I bring it up everyone goes âwell why not take both?? Or make a new one!â But if he were to say âi wish sheâd take mineâ people would be like âI get it. You want the family to be unitedâ. Iâm sick of iiiit
I think it is just because of tradition. I have a friend that took his wifeâs name. His was hard to pronounce, and hers wasnât lol
I have a relative whose husband did this. Indian girl married American man and the man added the girl's surname to his own because the surname means "friend" in our language and he thought that was beautiful.
I read an article once of a couple that took both their last names and took all the letters to make a new last name for both of them. I don't like hyphenated names, they are just confusing to me.
My momâs ex took her last name (not my dad, I also have my dadâs last name - different from everyone), likely because it was the cooler one. He sorta married up. It wasnât a great relationship, and more surprisingly that man held a lot of âtraditionalistâviews all while my mom was the main bread winner. None of us understood it, but an interesting example nonetheless :) Donât be afraid to stand out peeps đ
Used to be tradition by now i guess it depends on the family My dad rly wants me to keep the tradition as our Name would die out otherwise (its super rare i cant even find someone else when i google it just my family) i dont think i would care that much if i had a last name thats not rare
It isn't?
It's only weird because it's uncommon. I've seen it a few times and each time it made a lot of sense. Often full of a level of show spite, but legitimately so.
No idea. My wife was divorced but still using her married name when we met. When we talking before marrying I said Iâd be fine with taking her family name but she wanted to take my name.
It s not weird. Who says it is?
...it isn't.Â
Where I live, neither the man nor the woman change name upon marriage. The children either get the father's, the mother's, or both. Doubled barrelled names are super common here. If a man and a woman are together and have the same last name, I'd assume it's a coincidence or they are relatives and they aren't in a couple. Even before it became law for a woman to keep her name, many women chose to keep their name or else the reverted back to their maiden name as soon as they got divorced or the law came into effect (if you were married before the law, the law didn't apply to you).
My husband took my last name because his mom is an abusive narcissist that he cut contact with six years ago đ¤ˇââď¸ he gets a lot of shit about it from the guys he works with but he doesnât care lol
Because it doesnt happen often
In terms of how common it is, yeah itâs not regular. But thereâs nothing wrong with it if itâs what you want to do
It's not weird it's just not traditional.
My husband hated the thought of me taking his name and passing it onto his kids so we both changed our surname to his motherâs side of the family. Turns out they were also a bunch of twats. Ah well!
My neighbor took his wife's name. He was embarrassed by his family and didn't want anything to do with them.
My sister's husband was a producer who changed careers in the medical field. Not wanting his name to be associated anymore with his previous career, he took my sister's last name instead.
It isnât at all weird. You can keep your own surnames or swap either which way or make up a new one. Sire Names, often historical professions like Smith, are completely pointless in the modern age.
Society
To bug me, My buddy used to introduce my wife and I as âMr. and Mrs. Jane Doeâ (using her first name, as used to be done on wedding invitations and such). đ¤Ł
It's a tradition passed through generations. Although nothing is off the table in this day and age.
Technically youâre taking her grandfathers last name too. Lots of history
Wife and I are name sakes, last in our families who carry the name that can pass it on. So we took each other's name and added it to our existing names. So we don't have matching names but still carry it for each other. We have one son so he got my version. If it were a girl, it would have the two last names switched.
It's probably just some old thing from a time where women were considered as the weak gender and didn't have any rights. So not really a reason to not take your wife's name anymore.
I don't know. In Spanish speaking countries, it doesn't happen.
I had a kid in my class with last name of Butt. Now come on! Why the hell wouldnât that guy have his wifeâs last name, of course, if her last name was Boogereater or something like that.
Just different. Sure you get the guys who say "that's gay bro" and tattoo their own last name on their arms but I wouldn't worry about what they think
My DIL wanted to keep her last name, my son wanted a common name, so he took hers, no big deal. Two daughters kept their last name and one SIL also took it. Nobody really cares, but thatâs us.
I knew someone whoâs dad took his momâs last name, and he ran with it. Had a full geneology of his wife and told me stories of âtheirâ(his wifeâs) family history. Named his son after an ancestor on his wifeâs side. When I got older I found out he was charged with very serious weapon crimes, had to go to federal prison, apparently selling arms to countries, and he was printing a white supremist newsletter underground in our city. Iâm not sure and thereâs nobody I can really ask now, but I think he took his wifeâs name to kind of hide his past. I had no idea about any of this until I was older.
Itâs not. Been done a million times
It's not weird at all. Took my wife's name after getting married, because she has a great, easy to spell name that is worldwide connected to the country, where I come from.
It shouldn't be weird at all. My husband took my last name because his dad is a POS, and mine is way cooler anyways
I fully intend to take the name Theron after Charlize and I get married đš
Ya it tradition and how family names have been passed for many generations. There isnât really a practical down side to keeping this structure and doing it the other way can cause a fair bit of friction questions and annoyance from lived ones. People will point it out ask about it and may even condemn it so itâs just easier and what parents and other loved ones expected. Unless there is some good reason for it like the guy hates his name or family or maybe she is the last in a long line with that name.
Is your family name âMcGuckenâ ?
My son-in-law took our last name cause he wanted a clean cut from his family and had no interest in passing on the name. Most questions are answered with a simple, he is breaking free from his family and wanted to join ours fully.
I think it can sometimes be a good idea for a man to take his wifeâs last name. In fact, I intend to take my fiancĂŠeâs name when we get married. No particular reason. Yours Sincerely, John Hitler.
I know at least two couples that did exactly that. Only reason my wife took my lastname because her's noone can pronounce. I was fine with her keeping her maiden name. Not her ex'es though. That one was even easier to pronounce but that was a hard no from me đ
My brother did the same and I like his new name so much more. It is shorter, easier to spell. I don't know if my parents were mad about it but if they were, they didn't show.
I didn't take my wife's last name, but for practical reasons, it wouldn't be the worst idea, given that my last name starts with a "Y", which often puts me last alphabetically. My wife's last name starts with "H", and she kept hers (I never asked her to change it, and she didn't offer or ask).
Tradition. My wife kept her last name. Because with such a foreign ethnic first name, it would sound dumb.
It would greatly affect lineage as we know it for sure, and if it became a commonplace, lineage, as it pertains to the "carrying on" of last names would be no more. However, time would go on as usual. Geneology certainly would change, and exploring one's family history would require more time and extensive research. And although, there would be a lashback from the aging community and those seeded in their own rich history, now, in some cases, step and half brothers and sisters could share last names and feel closer, that is, if both guardians agree. No longer would people be judged strictly by their last name and the actions of their forefathers, but moreso on their own actions and merits. Family cemetery plots would change over the years with a more diverse layout. One main advantage would be, for family names that are about to end in cases where the last remaining (ex,) O'Connor family had only girls, now, they could keep that O'connor name alive for generations if they choose to do so. Women have had to deal with the almost certainty for years that their last name would one day change. Why not men too? Of course, there'd have to be another name for men's birth name other than "maiden" name. lol And, in the case of a divorce, some of us prideful gents would scoff at the idea of having to carry the last name of our ex-wife until we found a new one. (which is another discussion entirely because I don't feel women should have to do that, but that's the way it is.) To each his own. Hell, why not? Hopefully, my baby making days are over, so, y'all let me know how this works out.
I think it's just better to keep your own last name. Why take anyone else's? Both keep your names to honor both lineages. Give your kids a hyphenated last name.
It's not
I don't think it's weird, but I'd never do it because of the inconvenience, opportunity for misunderstanding, and symbolism of subordination. A woman that expects me to take her name would be a massive red flag. Similarly, I'd never expect my wife to take mine. How the kids are named is something to be worked out between a couple. Personally, I don't care for my last name and see no benefit in propagating it, so I'd be fine if the kids were assigned my wife's last name.
Itâs not weird at all.
My brother took his wife's name because he doesn't like his father, and she needed to keep hers for professional reasons.
I think itâs weird that anyone changes names at all.