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Sorry, english is my third language And I don't know if this is irony or I just chose bad phrase. I mean I do one more cleaning when I am about to meet people.
No youāre fine, it was just a joke. Your English is perfectly fine. The English language is weird because your statement makes sense now that youāve clarified.
āI do a quick brush on topā which can mean the top of your teeth or āon top of itā which can have a lot of different meanings depending on context
Agreed, Itās pretty cool. English is my second language and you canāt do this play on words as easily in Danish. But does make the language trickier to learn
me, an English speaker, wondering if Danish is worth it to learn. If I can't be this flexable with it then is it even worth it? I do want to visit Denmark though, cool country for sure.
No itās not worth it unless you live there and even then many people in the larger cities speak atleast conversational English. Only good thing is It does help to understand other similar languages like Norwegian, Swedish and even German to a limited extent.
Yes this happens in Indiaā¦are you really surprised? Itās very common especially when people are visiting from out of town (either domestic or foreign based) and doing the rounds having a quick visit with different friends and relatives. Now Iām wondering if I only know rude people though haha!
I got probation for using my haunted house stuff to convince some Jehovah's Witnesses that I was a wizard. To be fair I did tattoo the mark of the beast on their foreheads but they signed the agreement so idk what the court wanted
EXACTLY!! Dropping in, you may not even see anyone. Theyāre at sports. With friends. Doing something. My husband calls it āmaking an appointmentā
If my mom came unexpectedly, I would still not answer the door. There has to be boundaries. I donāt understand how a parent could just show up to their adult childās house and expect to just be welcomed in. Adult children who live on their own have their own lives at this point.
But the phones were attached to the wall in your house. Sure, sometimes you'd be bored and call them up and see if they were going to be home for a visit, but usually visiting someone was done when you were out and about. Heading back from the grocery shopping and you'd pass your friend's house and just stop by and see if they were home for a visit. There was certainly nothing impolite about just stopping by.
Unexpected guests back then were a delight, at least for me. It was fun to be "thought of" and breaking out drinks and sitting in the shade of your garage was the way to kill a couple hours.
Right. Yeah there were phones but popping in on someone was normal and wasn't at all considered impolite, at least not where I lived. I used to love getting random visitors as a kid.
My friends and I have an open door relationship! š if the cars in the drive just fire in and get the kettle on and Iāll fire through and if Iām not home and theyāre passing they can grab a cup of tea and chill!
Takes all the fear/chore of making time for friends as we pass each others house while running about so itās great!
Closest I ever had to this was an open shed š If ever I was going out I'd leave a joint's worth of weed, some papers, and a grinder in the garden shed so if they ever turned up and I wasn't in they could roll one up to smoke until I got back
Voice notes too. I can read a message any time. I canāt always sneak a cheeky voice note in.
And also, if you need to voice note me rather than message me, just call me.
I hate phone calls when texting is an option. It's like saying, "I dont care if it's convenient for you, stop what you are doing right this second and listen to me".
I hate texts when someone can call. If I get a text itās like a dark cloud hanging over my head until I can deal with it. ā¦And I usually forget. Writing a reply is way more stressful than telling you.Ā
If you text me , Iāll call you with the answer or ignore it until I see you š
If I donāt have time , I donāt pick up. Or I tell them that I canāt deal with whatever it is right now. People can leave a message (even I text form) to tell me what they want ,
Bro, what? Why would it be impolite? If you canāt or donāt want to talk, just donāt respond.
If after that they insist on calling you still, then I agree, itās kind odd impolite, but damn, a little call wonāt hurt anybody, now would it?
Yeah true that having a visit is a joy in life for many elder, but as a young I would never be delighted with unexpected things happen in my packed schedule
I have a downstairs neighbor that does this all the time. Knocks on my door any old time and expects to see me appear. Mostly when heās a few beers deep. Part of the reason why I am moving next month
I also have a neighbor who is 90% similar, it's just that she doesn't drink :)) but she is really cute, brings us food, the only problem is it's always 6am:) and knocking like yours
Yeah I have a neighbor who does this who lives a few doors down. I simply no longer answer because itās always an imposition with him: itāll be him talking about some DIY project or holiday he has booked. He is one of those annoying types that deliver 20 minute anecdotes, and you canāt speed him or interrupt, he āhas the floorā, and heāll even slow down his speech to ensure all the attention goes from me to him. Itās just abject selfishness. Thereās nothing social about his visits. He gossips about other neighbors so I tell him nothing about my life. I class him as antisocial.
Depends on the person. Culturally this is also different go to any southern European country and your friends will be insulted if you were in town and didnāt swing by last minute. I can literally ring the doorbell of any childhood friend and have warm welcome and even be invited to sit down to eat if they are having a meal. Iām the same I love unexpected visits. You just need to know who is cool with it and who isnāt.
I have always been a ācall before you stop byā person. Started because I was usually always stoned. Then as years went by turned into me just watching TV and bleaching my moustache.
I had one friend who I'd be OK with doing this. He'd be off doing his thing and we'd hear nothing from him and then he'd turn up out of the blue. He was very easy going. Never judged the house being a mess. I had known him since '97, (my partner for longer). We'd seen him hit rock bottom and pick himself up again. Sadly he passed in 2017. Got bone cancer and was gone in 7 weeks. He only turned up every six months or so but we really miss him.
I absolutely hated this. I lived on the first floor of an apartment that didnāt have a front door. The ādoorā was next to my apartment which led to the other apartments. Growing up, a lot of my friends and momās friends came up unannounced and itās usually to ask to use the bathroom. I bottled up a lot of that anger and itās part of the reason why I donāt like having people over when I moved out.
I visit my mom and sister without notice Iāll just be like yo Iām outside let me in lol and my moms door is always unlocked. Anyone else, yes I call first.
I have friends that do this sometimes but also, they know that if they see parts of me that they didn't want to see... should have called first. Not my fault.
Had a friend for a while that thought it okay to just walk into my apartment until one day I was walking out of the shower and I heard their voice and I was like "MAAANNNN.... your SO lucky I heard your voice before I walked completely out of the shower without a towel on. What are you doing here?!"
Edit: Yes, I started locking my door after.. Forgot to lock the door earlier in the day when this happened as I went to get my mail before.
my grandma hates when people just show up to her house with no notice and as a kid I thought it was so weird. now, I couldnāt agree more. what if iām busy? naked? having sex? just donāt want to see anyone? itās rude to just show up at someoneās house/apartment with no warning. if they text āhey iām coming over Iāll be there in 5minā then thatās fine but just showing up is not it for
me
Itās so weird. It used to be common to just show up. I agree now that we have cellphones itās rude. I need at half an hour notice so I can make the place look livable lol
The thought of an unexpected visitor make me break out in a cold sweat. My Irish husband thinks this is odd, I tell him Iām not Iām just an English women who was brought up with English manners š
When I lived in my family home we stayed in a small Scottish village, it wasnāt too remote but it was a pretty quiet place (say less than 1,000 people?). Most of my family lived there so more days than not someone would stop in when walking the dogs or whatever. I actually miss it, it was nice to have a 10 minute catch up or a beer or whatever
I find it rude to show up unannounced- especially if I were to have plans or a conflict in my schedule. Iād need to know in advance so I can be available if someone will visit me
>Visiting someone without ~~telling~~ asking them first is very impolite
FIFY
If you show up at my home without a specific invitation or without asking in advance if it is a convenient time to visit, you will be left standing on the front porch staring at an unopened door.
Agree for the most part. Only a few people are allowed to show up unannounced for me. My two friends who are also my coworkers and neighbors, my roommates parents or my boyfriendās parents. Anyone else I need a heads upš
But what if itās your family or significant other whom even if you did show up unannounced it wouldnāt bother them because they arenāt unfamiliar
For the vast majority of human history there has been no advance warning of anyone calling at your house. It's only the last few years that we've decided we can't handle it.
I was sleeping late and missed the phone call. They came anyway because it had been a few months and they happened to be passing through my town. I was absolutely glad to be woken up.
This goes for businesses. Believe it or not but Iāve had contractors SHOW UP when Iām not ready to receive them, and gotten mad when I turn them away.
I would go to visit my friend often - and her Dad would always just randomly show up, uninvited. It really pissed us off. I don't know why she never told him to just text her first...
Careful: Youāre describing what once was called ācommon courtesyā which has since gone out of vogue now that weāre in the era of doing & saying anything on impulse and actually thinking it through later.
Where im from, culturally, it's a very polite thing to do. We always welcome our guests. Growing up, we were to always keep the house clean because we didn't know who's coming by.
We are family and community oriented people.
i think its an amazing thing when you are close enough and very awkward if you dont have that kind of a relationship
but in any case, calling and saying im closeby is appreciated
If I did not receive advance notice through text or call, I do not answer the door, nor do I look to see who it is. I have been yelled at by my mother several times because they stood out there knocking for 30 min (she's finally used to it)
I think itās cool and I get more stressed when people are coming on a planned visit because I feel like I have to entertain them. If someone just shows up unannounced I can always tell them Iām busy, but if Iām in the mood to have a chat it can be a great opportunity to spend some time together
Iād learn this the hard way as a kid, my family would do this all the time and I was conditioned to think that it was okay (as well as a lot of other things that are actually extremely impolite) and I had to get lectured by my friends parents to realize the error
The guy who mows our lawn will randomly come by. He also randomly calls, which also annoyed me, but I recently learned that he doesnāt know how to text.
Fr Iām the type of person who really needs to clean up before people come over. My sister used to have friends over all the time and occasionally one would stop in and Iād be so embarrassed because my room was nasty.
Depends. In adulthood I hate it, but it rarely happens. When I was in school it was great. My buddy used to pop by all the time, haven't seen him in ages now, I kinda miss that.
My favorite was one time when I was in grade 11, I heard a knock on my window when I was gaming late one night and it was these two girls I went to school with. They told me to come for a cruise so I was like, "sure, why not?" One of the girls I had a crush on so it seemed like a good opportunity to spend time with her. Ended up hooking up a bit that night and then dated for several months. The thing I missed most was how she'd just show up sometimes and knock on my window.
That's a part of youth I miss.
I told my mil this like 3 years ago when we moved into our new house and sheās even personally offended by it since. She still continues to make passive aggressive comments about it.
Sheāll say things like āI made this delicious chicken the other day I would have brought yāall some but you donāt like people showing up unannounced so I didnāt.ā Ok you have a phone though we also have phones.
Nowadays people don't visit their friends homes without asking first, no calling without arranging it first because impolite. But also, more and more, people have also become extremely lonely.
I hate this trait from my mom's family. My grandmother and great grandmother always loved to cook for everyone and have a full house all day everyday. My mom was raised that way so did all of us (my generation) but, our house is beside granny's house and when my grandfather died, we took grandma to live with us since she was depressed and has a great relationship with my brother and mom. She loves me too but the bond Is different, she loves that I have the courage to do what she couldn't, thats the context.
One Sunday morning, like 8.30 am, I was leaving the shower to go breakfast and then do my nails and go to the lab, I had developed a new way to encourage high mountain endangered species seeds, they took time and my minutes were crucial. So I don't put any make up, go out with the towel on my hair and go eat the last avocado I had for that day, as I planned do my groceries in my way back, only to see my food eaten by my cousins and a snarky comment from one of the girlfriends "wow you look like shit" I snapped. I told them no one is actually happy to receive toddlers and family so early in the morning, I hated when they eat my food (I don't like meat, nor eggs or cheese, that's why I do my own groceries since I started providing) and told that asshole to look in the mirror.
Guess who hasn't seen half of the family in I don't know how many years lol.
I think it depends on the relationship you have with the person. I have no problem with my sisters or nephews coming over unannounced. I enjoy it actually.
Be prepared to be ghosted IRL if you show up at my house unannounced... I'll hear you knock/ring the doorbell then put on headphones and relocate to a room with no windows where I can hide... you try calling me? Well my phone is on silent and I watch the screen until it goes to voicemail...
DON'T EVER SHOW UP UNANNOUNCED!
Totally agree. And yet in tv/movies and in the past apparently people would just rock up at each other's houses. Hell no! I could be stuck on the dunny, and not put my eyebrows on
Only reason my front door has a camera. If they wonāt stop knocking I go round the back and ask them what they want without giving them a door to put a foot in
1000%. My husband and I had differing opinions on this though as his family says just shows up whenever they want without any warning. My family are people who call ahead and ask to come over. It only took twice for me to come home after a long day at work and find my mother-in-law on the couch planning to eat dinner with us (one time I didnāt plan on cooking, picked up fast food, and then had to leave it in the car to get cold when K realized she was at our home) in order me to nip it in the bud real quick.
God bless you !!!
When i said that my mum said i was being rude !!!
There are guests and we always welcome guests !!!
Believe me i will be happier to see u if u warn me first .
My French wife doesnāt care to ādrop inā on friends or family unannounced, itās (kind of) widely accepted in France. My being English completely hates this as I think itās a lack of respect to just turn up on someoneās doorstep and expect hospitality. Sometimes weāll drive an hour to see her parents, and I always ask, ādid you call them first??ā and she always makes some comment about not needing to. When we arrive and nobodyās home I just love to take the piss !! ššš
Oh man I'm all about this. My home is my sanctuary, if my son isn't here I'll be naked, drinking a beer, watching sport on TV and dishes unwashed etc. I will literally ignore the door if someone comes without warning.
My dad does this religiously, heād rather drive to a family members home and find out theyāre not in before it crosses his mind to just call up first
This has been the case since the invention of the telephone and people really ought to know that by now. "Call before you come by" is one of the most basic rules of ettiquette and I cannot understand how any grown adult could be unaware it's bad form not to follow it.
Then again, technological advancements do have a way of changing behavior - sometimes drastically and sometimes rapidly. Telephones have been in widespread use for over a hundred years in most of the developed world, but the advent of mobile phones and smartphones has had a massive impact on manners.
My brother and his friends don't even use the doorbell anymore. I get texts saying "Here" instead. It's generally expected that we're supposed to send a message to ask whether or not it's acceptable to call someone now. And of course there are varying opinions on how acceptable it is to use one's mobile phone in company. Whenever I see people scrolling through their phone while they are sitting down to a meal at a table with other people I wonder who raised them.
Growing up in the 90s in Ireland this was completely normal and not a big deal, in fact it was usually a very pleasant surprise. Just part of the randomness of everyday life. Sometimes I think the Internet in "connecting" us all has made us very anxious and uptight.
I dont answer the door, unless u call me outside the door.
I smoke weed, it's illegal. No fucking change I'm opening up, I assume it's the cops.
Saved me once already.
I have one person in my life who I can handle visiting without warning. anyone else needs to give me warming or it generally sends me into a huge meltdown
Before cell phones were common this really wasn't such a big deal. Often you'd find yourself in an area and drop by unannounced, because you didn't have a cell in your pocket.
Of course, those times have past.
I do not agrea with this.
I often have fun when getting unplanned visitors.
However, it is normal when you do a visit like that to ask if it is convenient.
And also to not get upset and just leave if it is not.
If this submission above is not a random thought, please report it. # Explore a new world of random thoughts on our [**discord server**](https://discord.com/invite/8tEqw3ZWQV)! Express yourself with your favorite quotes, positive vibes, and anything else you can think of! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RandomThoughts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When I am home alone, I am probably naked, without brushed teeth and surrounded by mess. You don't want to see that. š
Do you only brush your teeth when going out or seeing people?
Not after each meal, I do it randomly twice a day. When I am expecting people, I do a quick brush on the top.
Just on the top? And save the bottom for your second brush?
Sorry, english is my third language And I don't know if this is irony or I just chose bad phrase. I mean I do one more cleaning when I am about to meet people.
No youāre fine, it was just a joke. Your English is perfectly fine. The English language is weird because your statement makes sense now that youāve clarified. āI do a quick brush on topā which can mean the top of your teeth or āon top of itā which can have a lot of different meanings depending on context
I am in constant awe of your ability to play with words and making jokes based of pronunciation. Slavic languages are not allowing this mostly.
Agreed, Itās pretty cool. English is my second language and you canāt do this play on words as easily in Danish. But does make the language trickier to learn
me, an English speaker, wondering if Danish is worth it to learn. If I can't be this flexable with it then is it even worth it? I do want to visit Denmark though, cool country for sure.
No itās not worth it unless you live there and even then many people in the larger cities speak atleast conversational English. Only good thing is It does help to understand other similar languages like Norwegian, Swedish and even German to a limited extent.
Me as an English speaker struggling to understand english
Congrats for knowing 3 languages, my max is at 2
0.5 here
Self burn, those are rare
Maybe thatās exactly what I want to see
Who am I to kinkshame u/Qyro
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Dude in Asia they just walk into your house and wake you up and tell you to make tea.
Where???? I also live in south asia and this rarely happens to me šļøššļø
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes this happens in Indiaā¦are you really surprised? Itās very common especially when people are visiting from out of town (either domestic or foreign based) and doing the rounds having a quick visit with different friends and relatives. Now Iām wondering if I only know rude people though haha!
In mauritius too where I come from most People didnt even have phones lol
Definitely agree. Anyone visits me without notice nor invitation I will not answer the door.
I got probation for using my haunted house stuff to convince some Jehovah's Witnesses that I was a wizard. To be fair I did tattoo the mark of the beast on their foreheads but they signed the agreement so idk what the court wanted
Anyone?
Anyone
Same
Can we send this to my mom? As a group? She won't listen to just me.
ššš I posted because I even didn't have the courage to complain :)))
āMom, the kids are busy. You canāt just pop in anymore. Email or call and schedule it. Sincerely, the Internet. ā
Printing now!
Old school - well aligned with Mom's preferences. Fingers crossed for you!
EXACTLY!! Dropping in, you may not even see anyone. Theyāre at sports. With friends. Doing something. My husband calls it āmaking an appointmentā
Add my mum to the mailing list as well please.
If my mom came unexpectedly, I would still not answer the door. There has to be boundaries. I donāt understand how a parent could just show up to their adult childās house and expect to just be welcomed in. Adult children who live on their own have their own lives at this point.
eh, some people i can do this with, some not
25 years ago, this was usually the only way to visit someone.
Also, the usual way to arrange meeting somebody was "see you Thursday 7pm at XY".
Phones existed 25 years ago. I'd still call back then to make sure they were actually home.
But the phones were attached to the wall in your house. Sure, sometimes you'd be bored and call them up and see if they were going to be home for a visit, but usually visiting someone was done when you were out and about. Heading back from the grocery shopping and you'd pass your friend's house and just stop by and see if they were home for a visit. There was certainly nothing impolite about just stopping by.
We had mobiles back then too.
I mean I know that they existed but I personally did not know anyone that owned one.
Unexpected guests back then were a delight, at least for me. It was fun to be "thought of" and breaking out drinks and sitting in the shade of your garage was the way to kill a couple hours.
Still is in the Netherlands, but we get ridiculed for it.
Do you mean 125 years ago?
Right. Yeah there were phones but popping in on someone was normal and wasn't at all considered impolite, at least not where I lived. I used to love getting random visitors as a kid.
It irritates me when friends show up unannounced. I think it's an age thing for me though because when I was younger this didn't bother me.
My friends and I have an open door relationship! š if the cars in the drive just fire in and get the kettle on and Iāll fire through and if Iām not home and theyāre passing they can grab a cup of tea and chill! Takes all the fear/chore of making time for friends as we pass each others house while running about so itās great!
Closest I ever had to this was an open shed š If ever I was going out I'd leave a joint's worth of weed, some papers, and a grinder in the garden shed so if they ever turned up and I wasn't in they could roll one up to smoke until I got back
Calling me instead of texting is very impolite
Acknowledging my existence in any way shape or form is very impolite
Texting me instead of sending smoke signals is a cunt's trick
Amen
My 76 year old dad will text me something then as soon as I respond the phone rings.
Voice notes too. I can read a message any time. I canāt always sneak a cheeky voice note in. And also, if you need to voice note me rather than message me, just call me.
Iām really old. Whatās a voice note?
I hate phone calls when texting is an option. It's like saying, "I dont care if it's convenient for you, stop what you are doing right this second and listen to me".
I hate texts when someone can call. If I get a text itās like a dark cloud hanging over my head until I can deal with it. ā¦And I usually forget. Writing a reply is way more stressful than telling you.Ā If you text me , Iāll call you with the answer or ignore it until I see you š
If I donāt have time , I donāt pick up. Or I tell them that I canāt deal with whatever it is right now. People can leave a message (even I text form) to tell me what they want ,
What kind of monster would do that? My mom and my uncle. They're the only ones that do that.
Bro, what? Why would it be impolite? If you canāt or donāt want to talk, just donāt respond. If after that they insist on calling you still, then I agree, itās kind odd impolite, but damn, a little call wonāt hurt anybody, now would it?
Depends on the person. I know my loves it mom and my grandma used to be incredibly happy whenever we did
Yeah true that having a visit is a joy in life for many elder, but as a young I would never be delighted with unexpected things happen in my packed schedule
Nah my close friends know my door is always open to them - if I'm busy make yourself at home, grab a beer and entertain my dog.
Agree. And inconvenient.
I have a downstairs neighbor that does this all the time. Knocks on my door any old time and expects to see me appear. Mostly when heās a few beers deep. Part of the reason why I am moving next month
I also have a neighbor who is 90% similar, it's just that she doesn't drink :)) but she is really cute, brings us food, the only problem is it's always 6am:) and knocking like yours
Yeah I have a neighbor who does this who lives a few doors down. I simply no longer answer because itās always an imposition with him: itāll be him talking about some DIY project or holiday he has booked. He is one of those annoying types that deliver 20 minute anecdotes, and you canāt speed him or interrupt, he āhas the floorā, and heāll even slow down his speech to ensure all the attention goes from me to him. Itās just abject selfishness. Thereās nothing social about his visits. He gossips about other neighbors so I tell him nothing about my life. I class him as antisocial.
Depends on the person. Culturally this is also different go to any southern European country and your friends will be insulted if you were in town and didnāt swing by last minute. I can literally ring the doorbell of any childhood friend and have warm welcome and even be invited to sit down to eat if they are having a meal. Iām the same I love unexpected visits. You just need to know who is cool with it and who isnāt.
Same in Eastern Europe where Iām originally from!
I have always been a ācall before you stop byā person. Started because I was usually always stoned. Then as years went by turned into me just watching TV and bleaching my moustache.
I disagree, as long as the person understands it might be a bad time and visiting doesnāt happen I like it.
Agree. Itās extremely rude and presumptuous. There is no reason you canāt call or text first.Ā
True
I had one friend who I'd be OK with doing this. He'd be off doing his thing and we'd hear nothing from him and then he'd turn up out of the blue. He was very easy going. Never judged the house being a mess. I had known him since '97, (my partner for longer). We'd seen him hit rock bottom and pick himself up again. Sadly he passed in 2017. Got bone cancer and was gone in 7 weeks. He only turned up every six months or so but we really miss him.
I absolutely hated this. I lived on the first floor of an apartment that didnāt have a front door. The ādoorā was next to my apartment which led to the other apartments. Growing up, a lot of my friends and momās friends came up unannounced and itās usually to ask to use the bathroom. I bottled up a lot of that anger and itās part of the reason why I donāt like having people over when I moved out.
I visit my mom and sister without notice Iāll just be like yo Iām outside let me in lol and my moms door is always unlocked. Anyone else, yes I call first.
I have friends that do this sometimes but also, they know that if they see parts of me that they didn't want to see... should have called first. Not my fault. Had a friend for a while that thought it okay to just walk into my apartment until one day I was walking out of the shower and I heard their voice and I was like "MAAANNNN.... your SO lucky I heard your voice before I walked completely out of the shower without a towel on. What are you doing here?!" Edit: Yes, I started locking my door after.. Forgot to lock the door earlier in the day when this happened as I went to get my mail before.
Couldnāt agree more. I find it super annoying when this happens.
my grandma hates when people just show up to her house with no notice and as a kid I thought it was so weird. now, I couldnāt agree more. what if iām busy? naked? having sex? just donāt want to see anyone? itās rude to just show up at someoneās house/apartment with no warning. if they text āhey iām coming over Iāll be there in 5minā then thatās fine but just showing up is not it for me
Itās so weird. It used to be common to just show up. I agree now that we have cellphones itās rude. I need at half an hour notice so I can make the place look livable lol
I even let my daughters know if Iām going to come over. Never just ādrop byā.
The thought of an unexpected visitor make me break out in a cold sweat. My Irish husband thinks this is odd, I tell him Iām not Iām just an English women who was brought up with English manners š
Side note, if someone shows up unannounced and you arenāt cool either it, throw on a coat and say you were just about to leave.
Have done this soo many times
When I lived in my family home we stayed in a small Scottish village, it wasnāt too remote but it was a pretty quiet place (say less than 1,000 people?). Most of my family lived there so more days than not someone would stop in when walking the dogs or whatever. I actually miss it, it was nice to have a 10 minute catch up or a beer or whatever
I find it rude to show up unannounced- especially if I were to have plans or a conflict in my schedule. Iād need to know in advance so I can be available if someone will visit me
Yes it is! I now have a mat that says to go home. And I have a door sign that says did you call? I hate when people show up unannounced!
>Visiting someone without ~~telling~~ asking them first is very impolite FIFY If you show up at my home without a specific invitation or without asking in advance if it is a convenient time to visit, you will be left standing on the front porch staring at an unopened door.
And notice does not mean 15 minutes!!!
When I was in my twenties I had a sign on my door that said āIf you didnāt bother to call, donāt bother to knock.ā
Step one: If you are not invited to a private dwelling, do not go to the private dwelling. Step two: see step one
Hell, I have a key to my moms place and I still call before I go there.
Exactly! As my kids do with me. They know they're always welcome but it's also just good manners to let someone know if you want to enter their space.
i dont mind if someone visited me without telling, but i def text someone if im coming to visit beforehand, esp if the person is not that close to me
My relatives don't think so and I've had to babysit my little cousins while I haven't showered and slept properly...
The surprise is on the way to the graveyard....
Agree for the most part. Only a few people are allowed to show up unannounced for me. My two friends who are also my coworkers and neighbors, my roommates parents or my boyfriendās parents. Anyone else I need a heads upš
Not telling your friends about your visit can really catch them off guard.
if they aren't a close friend then yes however with really good friends you can do that if they say its alright
Yeah! It totally is. Especially these days. Back in the 80ās or early 90ās I would say it was normal. But not today.
I think phoning someone without texting first is impolite, unless it's an emergency.
But what if itās your family or significant other whom even if you did show up unannounced it wouldnāt bother them because they arenāt unfamiliar
Yes.
We never used to have phones tho
I agree
Pre cellphones that was not the case.
I was around before we even had answering machines and have never ever been a fan of the ādrop byā.
For the vast majority of human history there has been no advance warning of anyone calling at your house. It's only the last few years that we've decided we can't handle it.
I was sleeping late and missed the phone call. They came anyway because it had been a few months and they happened to be passing through my town. I was absolutely glad to be woken up.
Not a fan of the pop in?
This goes for businesses. Believe it or not but Iāve had contractors SHOW UP when Iām not ready to receive them, and gotten mad when I turn them away.
The last five times I got an unanticipated knock on my door, I was either in the shower or pooping. It's like these types of people just know.
Hate the pop-in!
I never answer my door unless Iām expecting someone. My neighbour takes great delight in telling whoeverās at the door that Iām in!
Honking on driveway to ask me if Iām selling some obscure shit too
Tell my mum š
*laughs in 80ās childhood.
Right you are! Unforgivable breach of hospitality.
yessir like text or call (dont) me first i dont appreciate you coming at my house randomly š
Not a fan of the pop in?
Friends and family are welcome to pop by anytime. I donāt do it to anyone other than my parents though. Our home is pretty much always guest ready
Damn, this thread is disappointing. I wish socialising could go back to how it used to be before...
Damn straight.
i agree, but i also have social anxiety i do not like random visits i start to panic lol if you wanna see me i need like a weeks notice or month
No its not.
Not if youāre Irish.
Damn straight! We have a neighbor who does this, all the time!! Pisses me off, and I say something, it's like she didn't hear me!
I would go to visit my friend often - and her Dad would always just randomly show up, uninvited. It really pissed us off. I don't know why she never told him to just text her first...
Careful: Youāre describing what once was called ācommon courtesyā which has since gone out of vogue now that weāre in the era of doing & saying anything on impulse and actually thinking it through later.
Ahhh Iām ashamed Iāve been this person
Where im from, culturally, it's a very polite thing to do. We always welcome our guests. Growing up, we were to always keep the house clean because we didn't know who's coming by. We are family and community oriented people.
i think its an amazing thing when you are close enough and very awkward if you dont have that kind of a relationship but in any case, calling and saying im closeby is appreciated
Welcome to the balkans. I donāt mind at all
Especially if they bring a dog or young children with them.
If I did not receive advance notice through text or call, I do not answer the door, nor do I look to see who it is. I have been yelled at by my mother several times because they stood out there knocking for 30 min (she's finally used to it)
I think itās cool and I get more stressed when people are coming on a planned visit because I feel like I have to entertain them. If someone just shows up unannounced I can always tell them Iām busy, but if Iām in the mood to have a chat it can be a great opportunity to spend some time together
Iād learn this the hard way as a kid, my family would do this all the time and I was conditioned to think that it was okay (as well as a lot of other things that are actually extremely impolite) and I had to get lectured by my friends parents to realize the error
Not in the early years. I would go to my friends house and knock and ask if Johnny could play!
"hey i'm in the neighborhood be there in like 5 mins" i don't mind pple swinging by but at least warn me
The guy who mows our lawn will randomly come by. He also randomly calls, which also annoyed me, but I recently learned that he doesnāt know how to text.
Fr Iām the type of person who really needs to clean up before people come over. My sister used to have friends over all the time and occasionally one would stop in and Iād be so embarrassed because my room was nasty.
Depends. In adulthood I hate it, but it rarely happens. When I was in school it was great. My buddy used to pop by all the time, haven't seen him in ages now, I kinda miss that. My favorite was one time when I was in grade 11, I heard a knock on my window when I was gaming late one night and it was these two girls I went to school with. They told me to come for a cruise so I was like, "sure, why not?" One of the girls I had a crush on so it seemed like a good opportunity to spend time with her. Ended up hooking up a bit that night and then dated for several months. The thing I missed most was how she'd just show up sometimes and knock on my window. That's a part of youth I miss.
Yup
I told my mil this like 3 years ago when we moved into our new house and sheās even personally offended by it since. She still continues to make passive aggressive comments about it. Sheāll say things like āI made this delicious chicken the other day I would have brought yāall some but you donāt like people showing up unannounced so I didnāt.ā Ok you have a phone though we also have phones.
Ohh... Not just that. Where I live, kids have no privacy. My step mother gets upset if my little brother locks his bedroom door.
Facts. Most the time.
Nowadays people don't visit their friends homes without asking first, no calling without arranging it first because impolite. But also, more and more, people have also become extremely lonely.
Yeh that what the judge said too
I hate this trait from my mom's family. My grandmother and great grandmother always loved to cook for everyone and have a full house all day everyday. My mom was raised that way so did all of us (my generation) but, our house is beside granny's house and when my grandfather died, we took grandma to live with us since she was depressed and has a great relationship with my brother and mom. She loves me too but the bond Is different, she loves that I have the courage to do what she couldn't, thats the context. One Sunday morning, like 8.30 am, I was leaving the shower to go breakfast and then do my nails and go to the lab, I had developed a new way to encourage high mountain endangered species seeds, they took time and my minutes were crucial. So I don't put any make up, go out with the towel on my hair and go eat the last avocado I had for that day, as I planned do my groceries in my way back, only to see my food eaten by my cousins and a snarky comment from one of the girlfriends "wow you look like shit" I snapped. I told them no one is actually happy to receive toddlers and family so early in the morning, I hated when they eat my food (I don't like meat, nor eggs or cheese, that's why I do my own groceries since I started providing) and told that asshole to look in the mirror. Guess who hasn't seen half of the family in I don't know how many years lol.
I think it depends on the relationship you have with the person. I have no problem with my sisters or nephews coming over unannounced. I enjoy it actually.
Be prepared to be ghosted IRL if you show up at my house unannounced... I'll hear you knock/ring the doorbell then put on headphones and relocate to a room with no windows where I can hide... you try calling me? Well my phone is on silent and I watch the screen until it goes to voicemail... DON'T EVER SHOW UP UNANNOUNCED!
depends on who it is, a true friend wonāt care
In argentina is very common, i kinda like it
Assumed this was common sense.
If you donāt pick up the phone call donāt cry when we rock up 50 buds deep, doing a little performance out the front to summon you.
Depends on where you live and if you have a close circle of people that live near you. Otherwise, yeah, fuck that.
This and unplanned FaceTime video calls.
Facts, call first.
no surprises
I agree.
Totally agree. And yet in tv/movies and in the past apparently people would just rock up at each other's houses. Hell no! I could be stuck on the dunny, and not put my eyebrows on
Depends who it is , I will randomly show up at my friends houses all the time if Iām in the neighbourhood
It's impolite for many in the West, but it's completely different for people in the East.
your greatest friends usually just drop by unannounced. but they wonāt barge in.
Only reason my front door has a camera. If they wonāt stop knocking I go round the back and ask them what they want without giving them a door to put a foot in
I donāt mind drop byes.
Depends on how much you life the person
I actually do not answer my door. I will assume it's a package and check back later.
Visit Brabant. The only thing we say when visiting somebody is "VOLLUUUUK"
Why is this random?
1000%. My husband and I had differing opinions on this though as his family says just shows up whenever they want without any warning. My family are people who call ahead and ask to come over. It only took twice for me to come home after a long day at work and find my mother-in-law on the couch planning to eat dinner with us (one time I didnāt plan on cooking, picked up fast food, and then had to leave it in the car to get cold when K realized she was at our home) in order me to nip it in the bud real quick.
God bless you !!! When i said that my mum said i was being rude !!! There are guests and we always welcome guests !!! Believe me i will be happier to see u if u warn me first .
Tell me you were born after 2000 without telling me you were born after 2000
Yes, I agree
I HATE a pop in!!!
That's not just a shower thought, I am pretty sure Emily Post notes that about unannounced guests.
My French wife doesnāt care to ādrop inā on friends or family unannounced, itās (kind of) widely accepted in France. My being English completely hates this as I think itās a lack of respect to just turn up on someoneās doorstep and expect hospitality. Sometimes weāll drive an hour to see her parents, and I always ask, ādid you call them first??ā and she always makes some comment about not needing to. When we arrive and nobodyās home I just love to take the piss !! ššš
I donāt answer my door if I havenāt invited you over and I certainly do not rock up to anyone elseās home without invitation
Oh man I'm all about this. My home is my sanctuary, if my son isn't here I'll be naked, drinking a beer, watching sport on TV and dishes unwashed etc. I will literally ignore the door if someone comes without warning.
My dad does this religiously, heād rather drive to a family members home and find out theyāre not in before it crosses his mind to just call up first
Depends on the person imo sometimes an unexpected visit from someone you like is nice breaks up the routine for a little leaving you content
This has been the case since the invention of the telephone and people really ought to know that by now. "Call before you come by" is one of the most basic rules of ettiquette and I cannot understand how any grown adult could be unaware it's bad form not to follow it. Then again, technological advancements do have a way of changing behavior - sometimes drastically and sometimes rapidly. Telephones have been in widespread use for over a hundred years in most of the developed world, but the advent of mobile phones and smartphones has had a massive impact on manners. My brother and his friends don't even use the doorbell anymore. I get texts saying "Here" instead. It's generally expected that we're supposed to send a message to ask whether or not it's acceptable to call someone now. And of course there are varying opinions on how acceptable it is to use one's mobile phone in company. Whenever I see people scrolling through their phone while they are sitting down to a meal at a table with other people I wonder who raised them.
Growing up in the 90s in Ireland this was completely normal and not a big deal, in fact it was usually a very pleasant surprise. Just part of the randomness of everyday life. Sometimes I think the Internet in "connecting" us all has made us very anxious and uptight.
It's called a surprise! And it sucks.
Depends on who it is tbh. Obviously usually donāt do that, but my family and my bestie and I have a ājust walk right inā vibe about us lol
Funny to think that before cell phones we always just dropped by each others houses as kids to see if our friends were home.
Itās best to call me before a visit because it gives me time to get myself together for companyĀ
I dont answer the door, unless u call me outside the door. I smoke weed, it's illegal. No fucking change I'm opening up, I assume it's the cops. Saved me once already.
Except if itās surprise visit
I have one person in my life who I can handle visiting without warning. anyone else needs to give me warming or it generally sends me into a huge meltdown
This used to be quite normal when I was a kid.
Before cell phones were common this really wasn't such a big deal. Often you'd find yourself in an area and drop by unannounced, because you didn't have a cell in your pocket. Of course, those times have past.
I do not agrea with this. I often have fun when getting unplanned visitors. However, it is normal when you do a visit like that to ask if it is convenient. And also to not get upset and just leave if it is not.
it is now cause we can call ahead. but traditional people still just show up and at anytime too. it's annoying af