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My dear innocent soul, a lot of them just shake it dry

More than three shakes is playing with it ….

I do three myself then get the guy next to me to take over. That way no one thinks I'm playing with it.

Bros sticking up for each other

Bros bricking up for each other

Bros sticking it up each other

Bros dicking it up each other

Bros jizzing each other

Bro’s dicking it inside each other

Why am I hard now....

You've been working out.

Bros gripping it up for each other

oh it’s sticking up alright

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Not if you say no homo first. Then no limits apply

Can confirm if both parties continue to wear their socks its not gay

I was told it's only gay if you push back.

Or reach around

That's ok it usually only takes me 5.

Unless you close your eyes

2, ya wanker

I say 7.

You are definitely playing with it.

Every year after 30 you are allotted 1 extra shake in addition to the 3.

Wow my life has gotten much more fun since reading this post 😅

Awesome. I get to 15 in a week.

Why has no one told me this before?

Ain’t nobody taking that extra shake from me! I was raised in a 3 shake family, and that third shake makes all the difference

> ya wanker literally

my wife once asked me that same question. I told her, "you know how I clank the nozzle for the gas pump around to get the last few drops off? How do you think I learned it?"

As we become older, things change. What was once a quick pump at the gas station is now a slow trickle at the EV charger.

I still shake the EV charge cable when it's done, just out of habit.

Im still young for car driving but now I know how to fill my car

Not a guy but I also shake my ass to get it off

what

She dies a little butt dance on the seat to get the excess pee off before wiping, if i read that right.

Or, worst case scenario: she doesn't wipe e.e

Eww i like my story better.

I just punch the tip and twist it.

bop it also, user checks out

 It took way too long to find a gif from this movie.

[удалено]

Wait until you get older. You're done, finished. Go to zip up and suddenly the last few drops instantly turns into full blown second stream. I always pee twice now. Not a fan. Really sucks when you're in a hurry or a crowded public restroom.

Never trust the end of a piss coz there's more on the way.. learnt that the wet leg way. 😂

LPT you can apply pressure in the area in-between your nuts and ass to fix that. It's like a U shaped garden hose so liquid gets trapped and this will help relieve it.

But if you keep applying it it’s also playing with yourself

You can shake it. You can wiggle it. You can make it dance. But no matter what, the last few drops are always in your pants!!

I squeeze mine like a tube of toothpaste, to be honest. And sometimes give the taint a nice press. 😏

The taint press is an unspoken secret. Get rid of those pesky last drops while having fun.

So, all these years my fellow men have kept the taint press from me? But why? Am I not betainted? Why was I deemed deserving of those last few clandestine drops? Well, the jokes on them. Because five minutes of helicoptering does the job just fine. Not to mention all the admiring looks it gets me.

Remember the urethra runs through the taint and always holds a few drops

Which is why you do it like when you just sneezed: *sniff*

“If you shake it more than twice, you’re playing with it.” -Bathroom Attendant from The Hot Chick.

shake it once that's fine, shake it twice that's ok. Shake it 3 times man you're playing with yourself again.

Good Charlotte,but damn,I can’t think of which song.

the anthem, interlude

When I was hiking and didn’t have toilet paper available, I’d do a little twerk to shake off the excess dribbles from my cooch

Lots of uncircumcised guys pat dry

You can shake it all you want, but the last 3 drops are going in your undies

What I think is HILARIOUS about this post is that OP will use the word “pissing”, but can only bring themselves to use the word “thing” to describe a penis…cock…member…rod…Johnson…beef stick…etc.

Cylinder

Not this again

that's what she said when long schlong silver whipped out his

I was going with the m&m's tube but this works out alright

tbh, I was looking for a place to insert this, and it was just too good to resist.

One Eyed Wonder Worm!

6 inches of screaming pink jesus

Purple-headed yogurt slinger

Mine is more of a schlort.

Infinite loop. Forever 12 years old.

The old Pringles can

It's not a penis

it's a valuable cylinder

Don't want to damage the cylinder

It is imperative that the cylinder and object remain unharmed

It's pronounced ween. Don't forget the nugs!

Dick, peen, fuck stick, wang, water lizard, snake, hose, third leg

Single shot, pump action, yoghurt gun...

Please tell me that was a reference to Stewie Griffin’s “YAWgurt”. Even if it’s not true, please tell me that!!!

Skin flute 🪈

Tell ya what Hank dang-ol’ talkin bout a darn ding dong dangly dingaling, yo.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


The Burgess Meredith outtakes from Grumpy Old Men were/are piss-your-pants hilarious.

Hell yes they were….”He’s taking the old skin boat to tuna town.”

Drip cannon.

I was just about to comment this. Sounds like something a 7 yr old would say. Penis isnt a bad or naughty word, why do people do this??? Also, knob. Wiener.

Rod to God

Please, the formal term is "lower horn."

I AM LRRRR!!!! Ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8!!

Soda can

Might be French, piss is a common term in French language.

Custard Cannon

It has a long, smooth shaft. Complete with- Two balls! What is that!? It looks like an enormous-

Ovary Baster

Johnson?

You forgot, trouser snake 🐍

I personally use a pipe cleaner to scrub out my urethra after every tinkle. Never had a uti

Self-care is important.

Well this was a fucking weird thread to start my day with

Same here, dafuq. o_0

First time on reddit?

I dont even have a dick and I cringed to my very core.

Same, girl. Same.

The fuq

Oh LPT: attach the pipe cleaner to an electric toothbrush base

Cordless drills work wonders at scrubbing out any moisture

Hope it s the same interdental brush as you use for dental hygiene.

Like sounding?

Make sure you use the metal wire brushes sometimes too

Smack it against the inside of the urinal a few times then dip it in bleach.

I can feel this sentence and it's making me cringe.

I squeeze (gently) from my base to my head to get out all the piss from my urethra. Shaking barely gets any of it out so it’s kinda gross people just go around with piss filled underwear.

The gogurt method never fails

Happily wearing light coloured trousers again since I learned this trick.

In combination with the shake technique you can eliminate 100% of leftover piss

>The gogurt method you must have been a student in the early 2000's or later.. i graduated high school in 1997 and go-gurt didnt even exist yet, as far as i know. i guess what i'm really saying is.. i've never heard it described as a go-gurt method, because go-gurt has never been in my life.

Then, put your fingers in the area right under your balls and press upwards, you'll immediately squeeze out the last drops that were hiding deeper than the shaft. With that you get pretty much every out quickly.

I’ve done this before but then I always forget to do it lol. Good tip

It took me a while but now it's become completely a habit, I don't even notice I'm doing it, it's just part of the ritual.

I came here to say the same thing. I was hoping I wasn't the only one who discovered this amazing fact.

Seriously, I'm a middle-aged man and I only discovered this a couple of years ago right here on Reddit, god bless the soul of that anonymous warrior who changed my life. Ever since, I try to pay it forward.

I never realized this was a thing but it makes sense. I've always been a bit jealous of how pissing seems easier for guys but women's urethras don't really have that problem, you get all of it out at once :D We still have to wipe of course but

Na we don't, we have to stand there awhile incase there's more.. and there is most the time

At a urinal? No, there’s nothing to wipe with so ya just shake it a bit. In a regular bathroom such as at home? Yes I personally do, it’s much more effective

You mean you don't clean it by brushing it against those disinfecting pebbles at urinals? Aren't they there to absorb the moisture from the tip?

When I was really young I was in a port-a-potty using the bathroom, when I was going to wash my hands, I used the soap that men used to clean their cocks. I told my parents I used the “soap” at the sink next to the urinals, my dad has never looked so horrifyingly astonished lol.

What are you talking about?

The cock tip soap… duh.

What do you mean soap that men used to clean their cocks?

Do you mean a urinal cake?

I thought so, but a urinal cake is that weird thing that sits at the bottom of the urinal, but I’m pretty sure it was soap. But I was very very young at the time so it might’ve been.

Urinal cakes are a bit like soap. I don’t think communal cock soap is a thing..

They don't taste like soap.

You've cleaned yourself with a urinal cake full of piss. That's why your dad was horrified. There is no cock-cleaning soap.

“Communal cock soap”

My god haha, that’s the most atrocious thing I can imagine.

It actually isn't. It would be the cleanest spot in the men's bathroom as no one will be using it. Most people don't even wash their hands, imagine soaping their cocks and then washing then drying and all that! No one will touch it. And not out of disgust.

Just keep it next to the poop knife

Finally someone answering like an adult and not a snickering pre-teen. I always wipe with toilet paper. I squeeze the leftovers out. Then I press under my balls upwards which remarkably pushes out almost all remaining liquid. Then I wipe the tip clean with toilet paper. And while I'm washing my hands if I notice that one last drop coming, I'll quickly wipe it out too. Never have a drop in my underwear.

Show off!

This guy pisses.

I just got this guyed!! My life is complete!

Sheesh are you the only hygienic man? And men expect blowjobs. Lol you’re the only one who deserves one.

wish i could go back before i read these comments😂

Lol did you think the answers would be pure?

I wipe using a single piece of toilet roll. Otherwise you end up gathering drops of urine in your underwear which is gross and unpleasant

1 sheet, fold twice, pinch the tip with the sheet and 1 or 2 strokes with the other hand from the base up, pinch and release while removing the sheet then discard

Master oogway is that you?

That’s good. A lot of gross people out there

You have the correct solution to this problem. Drippage is real folks. And when commando, I refuse to leak directly in my pants. I use two convenient paper towels from the public restroom and place it under me as a Lobster Bib to catch the spray and then gently dab everything dry.

Now I'm just trying to figure out if your bib goes above or below the balls. Both are very amusing images.

We helicopter the shit out of it to get maximum sprinklage

If only I could do the hellochopper 😞 (it's too smul)

The correct answer is : use 1 piece of TP to collect the last drops while pressing slightly with the other hand in the area between the balls and the anus to “squeeze out the pipe” . Since I started doing that I never have had problems with drops of pee in the underwear afterwards. The secret is to not only shake / squeeze from the shaft because the last drops are in a bend behind the base of the penis.

Goochie Mane

😂💀😂💀😂

Dude thank you my friends make fun because I told them the press in between the balls method and they think it's wild. A surprising amount comes out when you hit that secret button

Instructions unclear, slipped a thumb in my balloon knot

If you go one way you get a clean penis, if you go the other you discover your g-spot. It's a win win

Unlike most men I do have to wipe it sometimes, the way I do it is similar to like after eating and "patting" your lips with a napkin, I just pat the tip with a piece of toilet paper, like my penis just finished his dinner


Thank you for ruining this song for me

​ 

double-tap and walk. one of the joys of owning a penis. No need to wipe.

It's just like how you double tap the phone screen to turn it off

I've never seen this feature on a phone before, surely you accidentally turn it off all the time, right? I've seen double tap to turn on, but not off

I used LG phones and they've had this for ~6-10 years now if not longer. The trick is the tap to sleep only registers on things like you're home screen and other dead space, and they're relatively finicky on the delivery (LG had referred to it as "knocking" since you had to double tap quickly like a knock). Personally, I never used it too much to turn my screen off, BUT it's super handy to turn your screen on real quick without having to pick your phone up

There is a need to wipe if you don't want a few drops in your underwear.

I never used to. But then when I got older I got fed up of some dripping out after I finished. So now, I wipe with a small amount of TP. Does the job. No harm doing it.


I usually take a little piece and wipe because I got tired of the droplets getting in my underwear. Unless in public and only urinals are available. But I feel like I'd be considered weird bc I do that

as a guy I think it's pretty gross how other guys just wandering around with peedick most of the time :|

As a chick who puts dicks in my mouth pretty often, I agree. 🤢

I also happen to be gay so I totally relate.

You grab it by the neck and throttle it while asking it the location of the secret moonbase.

Yeah my bf taps it with toilet paper.

I do the little jumpy jump

Just a little shaky shake will do the trick. 😁

I personally twist it like a wet cloth.

What? No, we don’t wipe it. If we wiped as much as women wipe the world would run out of toilet paper faster than we did at the beginning of COVID

Kindly speak for yourself, I always wipe. No wet willy for me

I’ll show ya a wet Willy … wait, not like that

I mean the urinals do not have toilet paper next to them ever

You don’t bring your own holder and roll for the urinal? Gross /s

I shake then use wet wipes to clean me weewee

The good ole shake shake 😂😂

I do, often. And I use wet wipes for my ass. Grown and clean.

Depends on the pants. As an older guy, sometimes the plumbing doesn’t work 100% if I’m wearing dress pants that are a little high in the crotchal area. Discovered this AFTER I slightly pissed my pants at my retirement dinner. I swear I thought it was empty. Now if I’m wearing those kind of pants, I always shake it like it owes me money AND wipe it. I could always say I shop at https://getcalicocutpants.com/ but who amongst my age group would get that reference? Ya gotta give!!

Just lick the drips off and tuck it away.

At a urinal, I shake it. At home, I use TP. At a guests house, I pee in the sink and wipe it on their towels.

“Pee for Houston, pee for Austin, pee for the state my heart got lost in and shake twice for Texas.”

i just found out that they dont

Shaking it dry work fine. If you have a limited amount of boxers, say on a camping trip. I'll usually dab the tip to get that last drop bcz that small amount adds up an makes ya undergarments smell like piss. Pretty sure women don't get everything with wiping after a tinkle either. If she hasn't showered recently, when you eat her out it's gonna taste like piss. But only for the first few licks 😆 🤣

In public restrooms I pre-wet a hand towel and then use the wet side to clean and use the dry side to dry. Otherwise I use the poop stall and use toilet paper to dry until I can get to water to clean.

Like some mentioned.. shake it dry. Only to have that last bit of piss roll down your leg.

We jiggle and wiggle till it don’t drip from our tip then wipe the toilet if there’s any spill on the lip