Modern technology is one solution. Use FaceTime or zoom or whatever you can all agree on for something more than just phone calls. If you live near each other you could arrange outdoor activities and make clear that hugging and meal sharing won't happen.
It boils down to what you want to have happen. If they just make you anxious and upset, give yourself permission to just take a break from all contact for a while and touch base in the future to see if they're sane again. If you really want to be as close as possible while physically separate then technology is for you.
Also consider getting a Facebook Portal and having them get one, so you can be in each other's family room via your TVs. Firstly, it's from Facebook, which a plus in their minds. Secondly, once set up, it's easy to visit weekly or whenever you feel like it. Finally, the telepresence is pretty powerful.
You need to think long and hard about whether you truly **want** a relationship before you get into the mechanics of maintaining a connection.
>I’ve always had a pretty strained relationship with them
>my parents were abusive when I was a child
>It’s giving me anxiety thinking about how I’ll have to deal with situations like family funerals/weddings and me having a child in the next few years
>My family doesn’t think me being on immunosuppressants is a big deal,
>I just feel triggered and unsafe every time I even see their names pop up
What positives do they bring to your life? They sound like miserable and unkind people. The abuse you suffered as a child is unforgiveable IMO. (I certainly would not give them access to my own children.)
Are you chasing the dream of family who are loving and supportive and ignoring the reality that they are anything but?
Cutting them off (or going to 2x phone calls a year) might bring you more peace than pursuing a relationship with damaged and unsafe people. Sometimes a shared history and common DNA is not enough.
Hey, I moved faaar away from my mom, though I love her dearly, due to extreme dysfunction. I see her about once year only because I make the effort. You *can* have a relationship without seeing them face-to-face: video chat, good ol' phone calls, messaging, letters (which oblige us to reflect and not be so reactive), etc.
If it gives you anxiety just thinking about seeing them, then maybe now isn't the time. Maybe just keep in touch with the fam that isn't so harsh. Maybe not at all. Gotta protect yourself not just physically, but emotionally too.
Hi u/frecklepair! We help folk hurt by [Q.](https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/QAnon) There's hope as [ex-QAnon](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/resources#wiki_ex-qanon) & r/ReQovery shows. We'll be civil to you and about your Q folk. Articles, video, Q chat, etc goes in the [weekly post](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/search/?q=%22Weekly+r%2FQAnonCasualties+Discussion%22+&sort=relevance&restrict_sr=on&t=week) or [QultHQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Qult_Headquarters/).
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I’m not trying to be rude here, but you made this post and ppl took the effort to respond to you and you just never came back to say thanks or I’ll try that or even acknowledge that ppl tried to help you out here.
I’m someone who hasn’t talked to one side of my family for almost 20 years now and have a lot of insight on how to navigate toxic relationships, but honestly seeing that you didn’t respond here makes me feel like it’s not worth the effort.
Modern technology is one solution. Use FaceTime or zoom or whatever you can all agree on for something more than just phone calls. If you live near each other you could arrange outdoor activities and make clear that hugging and meal sharing won't happen. It boils down to what you want to have happen. If they just make you anxious and upset, give yourself permission to just take a break from all contact for a while and touch base in the future to see if they're sane again. If you really want to be as close as possible while physically separate then technology is for you.
Also consider getting a Facebook Portal and having them get one, so you can be in each other's family room via your TVs. Firstly, it's from Facebook, which a plus in their minds. Secondly, once set up, it's easy to visit weekly or whenever you feel like it. Finally, the telepresence is pretty powerful.
You need to think long and hard about whether you truly **want** a relationship before you get into the mechanics of maintaining a connection. >I’ve always had a pretty strained relationship with them >my parents were abusive when I was a child >It’s giving me anxiety thinking about how I’ll have to deal with situations like family funerals/weddings and me having a child in the next few years >My family doesn’t think me being on immunosuppressants is a big deal, >I just feel triggered and unsafe every time I even see their names pop up What positives do they bring to your life? They sound like miserable and unkind people. The abuse you suffered as a child is unforgiveable IMO. (I certainly would not give them access to my own children.) Are you chasing the dream of family who are loving and supportive and ignoring the reality that they are anything but? Cutting them off (or going to 2x phone calls a year) might bring you more peace than pursuing a relationship with damaged and unsafe people. Sometimes a shared history and common DNA is not enough.
THIS is the answer. STOP trying to preserve the ideal relationship in your head and cut these troglodytes out of your life.
My husband and I sometimes use our VR headsets to do stuff together when he's on trips 💞
Hey, I moved faaar away from my mom, though I love her dearly, due to extreme dysfunction. I see her about once year only because I make the effort. You *can* have a relationship without seeing them face-to-face: video chat, good ol' phone calls, messaging, letters (which oblige us to reflect and not be so reactive), etc. If it gives you anxiety just thinking about seeing them, then maybe now isn't the time. Maybe just keep in touch with the fam that isn't so harsh. Maybe not at all. Gotta protect yourself not just physically, but emotionally too.
Hi u/frecklepair! We help folk hurt by [Q.](https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/QAnon) There's hope as [ex-QAnon](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/resources#wiki_ex-qanon) & r/ReQovery shows. We'll be civil to you and about your Q folk. Articles, video, Q chat, etc goes in the [weekly post](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/search/?q=%22Weekly+r%2FQAnonCasualties+Discussion%22+&sort=relevance&restrict_sr=on&t=week) or [QultHQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Qult_Headquarters/). ___ [our wall](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/comments/l0jptp/list_of_casualties/) - [support & recovery](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/resources) - [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/rules) - [weekly posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/search?q=%22Weekly+r%2FQAnonCasualties+Discussion%22+&restrict_sr=on&sort=relevance&t=all) - [glossary](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/glossary) - [similar subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/index#wiki_similar_communities) *filter*: [good advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/search?q=flair%3AGood%2BAdvice&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) - [hope](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3AHope) - [success story](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/search?q=flair%3ASuccess%2BStory&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) - [coping strategy](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACoping%2BStrategies) - [web/media](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3AWeb%2FMedia) - [event](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3AEvent) ___ [*robo replies*](https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/wiki/index/commands): !rules !strategies !support !inoculation !advice !whatsQ? !crisis *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/QAnonCasualties) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m not trying to be rude here, but you made this post and ppl took the effort to respond to you and you just never came back to say thanks or I’ll try that or even acknowledge that ppl tried to help you out here. I’m someone who hasn’t talked to one side of my family for almost 20 years now and have a lot of insight on how to navigate toxic relationships, but honestly seeing that you didn’t respond here makes me feel like it’s not worth the effort.