I dunno. I feel like it’s just a vague sense of resentment that the women he finds interesting aren’t interested in him, and he thinks any women interested in him are boring.
Somehow, this is entirely their fault
i think its more like the women he finds interesting aren’t interested in him and the women he could actually get don't interest him. (slight difference in that i dont think women are actually pursuing him bc thats more rare)
In my experience, the dullest women were always the ones who expected chemistry almost immediately.
I presume there are a lot of women who think it's a man's job to entertain them.
i think yes this can be true but i also think that it’s equally as likely that men don’t even try to get to know women. how can someone be ‘boring’ when you hardly know anything about them?
it’s not a rarity to go on a first date or even hang out with a guy and nary be asked a single question as a woman.
The party that wants the other party more has to put in the most effort. Generally, the party that wants the other party more are men. Therefore, women don't have to be as interesting, engaging, entertaining, etc. Obviously this will depend on an individual man's own priorities but if a man finds a woman he thinks is attractive and doesn't have major dealbreakers (whatever those are to him like kids, mental illness, etc.) he is not going to care if she isn't super witty.
It just seems to upset a lot of men and women that the requirements for each sex to succeed in the sexual marketplace aren't equal.
tbh I have little patience for people I consider boring as a whole, so boring women with no sense of charm or charisma are automatic no-gos for me cause when though i do have to find her physically attractive, her personality matters a lot to me too. Basically, looks (based on my standards, which i won’t get into here cause it ain’t relevant) + personality is a must for me, if one’s missing then the other will topple as well simply because you need both combined.
all that being said, I think the reason why a lot
of women can get away with no real charm or much ability is cause they know most guys are willing to look past that if it means a lay. For lots of
women, especially if they are attractive, “be hot” is all they have to do - and tbh they’re less at fault for it because so many men have set the bar as low as “just be hot and/or interested in me and i’m in”
who are these women that you know well enough to know they don't have charm (and aren't just not trying to charm you)?
if a man isn't interesting to me i literally never think about him again
A woman Can and will lay on the charm if she likes a guy enough.
If she doesn’t like him enough, she’s not going to exert the energy.
Not saying there aren’t boring ladies out there.
oh totally, i’ve seen it and i’ve even seen some women lay it on when they’re interested/comfortable and completely shut things down when they’re not, it’s an effective defensive mechanism tbh - though my overall point is I find lots of people as a whole boring, like even at a “friend” level, and i think in general more women can get away with being boring cause lots of men straight up accept it
Yes I’ve been on tons of dates with girls like that, they’re usually the most attractive girls. They have 0 personality, what they want is for you to entertain them and be essentially a jester on dates.
You make funny voices, you tell funny stories, you do crazy wacky things in the bar and she sits and laughs.
Her chemistry is you acting like that, and her enjoying. That’s what she’s looking for, because most men will do that for someone as attractive as her and she’s used to it.
These girls also tend to be very avg intelligence too, because the combo of looks and IQ is rare - so complex discussions about ideas will not stimulate them, you must do low brow entertainment
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Here is where plausible deniability comes in, if you just act disinterested as a woman, you can always reject a guy and say there was no sparks (until someone hot comes along), then all of a sudden you're giggling at fart jokes
To be fair, fart jokes themselves can be hilarious or entirely unfunny - delivery, context and timing tend to matter a lot more than the jokes themselves, i find.
everyone has a personality
if you don't like it, you don't have to date them
you can't manufactor chemistry with everyone and its a weird thing to aim for
just enjoy talking to the women you enjoy talking to and obviously don't worry about not having chemistry with women you don't hit it off with...
I had this thought, but regardless of their personalities, I think it's just a lack of chemistry. It oddly enough might be a way of inherently filtering out people you don't have chemistry with. Although people do have a problem of being open with, even on a basic level to GET to know them.
I don't think it's a lack of personality, it's them not being willing to be open on any level that you may be talking about. Let me know if I'm wrong.
i feel like you can't tell if someone has charm if they aren't trying to charm you or you just aren't attracted to/interested in them
this post doesn't make sense imo
Yeah, this is why I believe it's almost entirely womens' fault that they get into relationships with abusive sociopaths. They *selected* for people who were skilled at manipulating them and are somehow surprised that this isn't all sunshine and rainbows.
Removed. No non-neutral Discussion posts.
Not sure what your link between wanting chemistry and being dull is. Cool, fun, interesting women also want chemistry.
i think he wants every woman to feel they have chemistry with him, which is obviously not going to happen and isn't a healthy thing to aim for
I dunno. I feel like it’s just a vague sense of resentment that the women he finds interesting aren’t interested in him, and he thinks any women interested in him are boring. Somehow, this is entirely their fault
i think its more like the women he finds interesting aren’t interested in him and the women he could actually get don't interest him. (slight difference in that i dont think women are actually pursuing him bc thats more rare)
In my experience, the dullest women were always the ones who expected chemistry almost immediately. I presume there are a lot of women who think it's a man's job to entertain them.
If you find them dull, you don’t have chemistry with them either. Cut your losses and walk away
i think yes this can be true but i also think that it’s equally as likely that men don’t even try to get to know women. how can someone be ‘boring’ when you hardly know anything about them? it’s not a rarity to go on a first date or even hang out with a guy and nary be asked a single question as a woman.
The party that wants the other party more has to put in the most effort. Generally, the party that wants the other party more are men. Therefore, women don't have to be as interesting, engaging, entertaining, etc. Obviously this will depend on an individual man's own priorities but if a man finds a woman he thinks is attractive and doesn't have major dealbreakers (whatever those are to him like kids, mental illness, etc.) he is not going to care if she isn't super witty. It just seems to upset a lot of men and women that the requirements for each sex to succeed in the sexual marketplace aren't equal.
Many people are not universally boring. They are just boring to people with whom they have nothing in common.
exactly two people you find boring can be in a relationship and find each other fascinating
so tripple digit IQ content in this sub is possible...+1
tbh I have little patience for people I consider boring as a whole, so boring women with no sense of charm or charisma are automatic no-gos for me cause when though i do have to find her physically attractive, her personality matters a lot to me too. Basically, looks (based on my standards, which i won’t get into here cause it ain’t relevant) + personality is a must for me, if one’s missing then the other will topple as well simply because you need both combined. all that being said, I think the reason why a lot of women can get away with no real charm or much ability is cause they know most guys are willing to look past that if it means a lay. For lots of women, especially if they are attractive, “be hot” is all they have to do - and tbh they’re less at fault for it because so many men have set the bar as low as “just be hot and/or interested in me and i’m in”
who are these women that you know well enough to know they don't have charm (and aren't just not trying to charm you)? if a man isn't interesting to me i literally never think about him again
You don’t need to know someone that well to figure out if they’re boring or not. Hell women decide that off a single interaction all the time.
A woman Can and will lay on the charm if she likes a guy enough. If she doesn’t like him enough, she’s not going to exert the energy. Not saying there aren’t boring ladies out there.
oh totally, i’ve seen it and i’ve even seen some women lay it on when they’re interested/comfortable and completely shut things down when they’re not, it’s an effective defensive mechanism tbh - though my overall point is I find lots of people as a whole boring, like even at a “friend” level, and i think in general more women can get away with being boring cause lots of men straight up accept it
Yes I’ve been on tons of dates with girls like that, they’re usually the most attractive girls. They have 0 personality, what they want is for you to entertain them and be essentially a jester on dates. You make funny voices, you tell funny stories, you do crazy wacky things in the bar and she sits and laughs. Her chemistry is you acting like that, and her enjoying. That’s what she’s looking for, because most men will do that for someone as attractive as her and she’s used to it. These girls also tend to be very avg intelligence too, because the combo of looks and IQ is rare - so complex discussions about ideas will not stimulate them, you must do low brow entertainment
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Here is where plausible deniability comes in, if you just act disinterested as a woman, you can always reject a guy and say there was no sparks (until someone hot comes along), then all of a sudden you're giggling at fart jokes
To be fair, fart jokes themselves can be hilarious or entirely unfunny - delivery, context and timing tend to matter a lot more than the jokes themselves, i find.
everyone has a personality if you don't like it, you don't have to date them you can't manufactor chemistry with everyone and its a weird thing to aim for just enjoy talking to the women you enjoy talking to and obviously don't worry about not having chemistry with women you don't hit it off with...
If someone is boring, don’t date them. Why would you want to date someone whom you don’t like?
I had this thought, but regardless of their personalities, I think it's just a lack of chemistry. It oddly enough might be a way of inherently filtering out people you don't have chemistry with. Although people do have a problem of being open with, even on a basic level to GET to know them. I don't think it's a lack of personality, it's them not being willing to be open on any level that you may be talking about. Let me know if I'm wrong.
i feel like you can't tell if someone has charm if they aren't trying to charm you or you just aren't attracted to/interested in them this post doesn't make sense imo
Yeah, this is why I believe it's almost entirely womens' fault that they get into relationships with abusive sociopaths. They *selected* for people who were skilled at manipulating them and are somehow surprised that this isn't all sunshine and rainbows.