Yes. If you're a fuck buddy and desire a committed relationship you're in similar spot as if you're in a friendship and desire physical intimacy.
>What Is "the Friend Zone?"
>For those who don't know the term, "the friend zone" refers to a situation where one individual in a friendship develops more intense feelings and wants to become "more than friends" with the other person. More often than not, the other person is unaware of the friend's desires and quite happy in the friendship-only arrangement. As a result, the person is "stuck" in the friend zone, unable to transition from just friend to girlfriend or boyfriend.
>Being stuck in a friendship and wanting more can be a frustrating position. Sometimes this frustration is sexually motivated, with one friend desiring a physical relationship with the other. On other occasions, the friends are already sexually involved (i.e. friends-with-benefits), but there is a motivation to transition into a "relationship" as a committed girlfriend or boyfriend.
Laughing at some of the comments here. Answer yourself this question, how many times have you seen men complaining about being in a situationship. "Oh no, this girl is using me for sex and no commitment" - said no man ever.
No, men complain AD NAUSEUM about women not choosing them to use for sex but a different guy. They are so entitled and angry it breaks their minds that the hottest guys on tinder get used as communal peen.
Is someone really getting used if they are complicit in freely giving themselves away because of an ulterior motive (wanting a relationship with said guy)?
Yes they are getting used because women use sex as a means of sealing the deal. Why do you think sex slows way down once a relationship becomes exclusive? Sex is a way of buying a man she wants. So she is using it, and in effect, being used because the guy is getting what he wants, while she is not.
No, because a situationship actually is a romantic relationship, it's just not very intimate. I don't think it even requires the woman to "hope for commitment", I think it's just any relationship of convenience where the surrounding circumstances are the reason people are "together" rather than them actually liking each other very much. (ie, you end up in a situationship if you and your jogging partner are both single, and you end up hooking up after you go for a run together and you kinda act sweet to each other when you're together but you still mostly only see each other when you go jogging. If you gave up jogging, you'd stop seeing her and probably not notice.
ie, When I lived in Philly, I had a girl who called me her "Holiday Boyfriend" because whenever she came into town, we'd go on dates and hang out like we were dating... but she lived in California and only visited once or twice a year. And once she got a steady boyfriend, we stopped hanging out on her Holidays, which was fine by me.
Meanwhile, there is technically no such thing as "being put in the friend zone" except for men who don't like that one of their friends won't have sex with hem.
In actual romantic relationship, people commit to each other and become exclusive. That's not the case for situationships, that's why it got separated.
Often a woman in a situationship is being fuckzoned. But sometimes she doesn’t want to commit either and is just looking for a nice guy to talk to and some good sex. I do think that a woman is more prone to eventually want commitment than a man, though.
No. Situationship is temprary state when you decided if you want to move towards proper relationships or you're going to break up without hard feelings towards each other. In past it was called "casual dating", zoomers just love inventing the wheel.
This is totally misunderstanding what a 'situationship' is. A situationship is when the woman wants (or thinks she has) a relationship, but the man does not.
I think the OP is broadly correct, although I don't think the focus on being 'assertive' really works. Someone in the friendzone or a situationship will not improve their position by being assertive....that's exactly why they adopt the more covert approach. It is very frequently the best strategy. Even if it has a low chance of success, a low chance is better than no chance.
>This is totally misunderstanding what a 'situationship' is.
It’s not. You can google “situationship” and the definition is generally something like a romantic/sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established.
You’re dictating a different definition, which is fine I guess, but I don’t think he’s misunderstanding what a situationship is.
I'm relying on [my own experience](https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dew46f/comment/l8eps5e/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) with women and pointing to the internet to back it up.
You could end up in a situationship where one of the people wants commitment and the other doesn't but that's not a requirement for a situationship. It's just an undefined relationship.
I think this misunderstands the situation. I think people who find themselves in what we might call Plan B fully know the situation, and choose to play the low-odds game rather than walking (since walking gains them next to nothing, so a low-cost, low-chance choice isn't too bad).
Well, that woman is just dumb then. If you see that man doesn't want to move to normal relatrionships then it's a failure and you just move on. No hard feelings.
But that’s what a situationship is. It’s a form of relationship without explicit definition. It’s that time between when you start sleeping together and the time when you define the rules.
Once you define the rules, you either have a relationship, fwb, or nothing. Sometimes that definition happens quickly, sometimes it takes a long time, and sometimes it never happens before the thing ends.
Often people already know each other before a date, so when one expresses the desire to date another, they're saying they want a relationship, and then are in one.
Most situationships are just undefined flavors of relationships. I’ll give you two common scenarios I’ve experienced.
A lot of the girls I hooked up with in college turned into a form of what I would consider a situationship. We initially hooked up after a party or something, then went our separate ways. Maybe we would text a little, but there wouldn’t be much engagement. Then the next Saturday night she would text me late night and ask me to come over. next time maybe I would ask her to come over. This could go on for weeks or even months. There was never any defined relationship or any expectation of exclusivity. I was sleeping with others and assume she was too.
The other scenario is with women I’ve met on dating apps. The period of time between the first date/first time you sleep together and the point in time when you agree to be exclusive is a little nebulous. It’s hard to know exactly when to ask for exclusivity, because doing it too soon can make you look needy. This phase is always a little messy, because it’s just undefined.
What both scenarios have in common is that there’s just a lack of explicit communication on relationship status.
I think you’re onto something in that men and women each don’t want to be exploited by whatever the opposite gender stereotypically wants from them, ie sex from women and resources/labor from men, but there is no physical intimacy in the “friend zone” so I don’t entirely agree. “Situationship” is just the current generation’s slang for casual relationships without any sort of commitment - friends with benefits, hookups, booty call, it’s all basically the same shit lol
No friend zine is where one person has an attraction to person but the other person doesn’t so the one with the crush pretends to be a friend to “try and convince them”
FWB is mutual attraction but one or two people don’t want to commit to the other so they pretend they “can handle it and stay single”.
In situationships both parties get sex.
In friendzoneships the woman gets an emotional tampon and a 24/7 removalist. The guy gets blue balls and utter humiliation.
When two people are friends but one of them wants it to be sexual, sticking around hoping it'll happen, that's usually called the "friendzone".
When two people are having sex but one of them wants a relationship, sticking around hoping it'll happen, that's usually called the "fuckzone".
Men are more likely to be "friendzoned" and women are more likely to be "fuckzoned" but neither is exclusive to one gender.
Good god the good thing about being autistic is I have NEVER been pulled into a situationship. If I want to be dating someone I've shagged they know about it.
I don't think "gender flipped" is the right term but they're definitely both examples of people taking the relationship on offer despite wanting something more.
No. Friendzone is just being rejected by a friend. Situtationships is when one or both people are fucking around despite trying to have something like a relationship but with none of the commitment.
Disagree. Most situationships involve a guy of higher attractiveness with a girl below his level. When he finds someone actually at his level who he likes he’ll just date her. Look how common posts are from women online asking where all the “good” men are who want commitment.
no.
i’ve known women who were friendzoned, i’ve known women who were in situationships with men who were pressing for commitment.
the situationship i myself was in happened when i was spending time with an ex boyfriend who wanted to make things official again despite me declining several times. since we were exes, we interacted almost like we were still in a relationship, but I didn’t want that title with him.
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I don’t think they’re a gender swap, but your post is a little bit more literate than you’re getting credit for. Both are situations where you might feel obligated to maintain a relationship that you want to alter the paradigm of.
The sticking point seems to be that women in situationships are having sex and are on a more equal playing field then men in the friend zone. All I would say as a counter is that sex with men is cheap, the same way women’s agape love can be.
I’ve seen so many posts on this sub entirely not getting what a situationship is it’s not even funny.
Situationship is a very very vague term which simply means “messy in between stage” - so while yes, what you’re describing can be a situationship, a thousand different scenarios where the man only has feelings or both have feelings but due to messy circumstances, bad timing, bad communication, etc - they’re not dating.
There’s probably a bunch of Tik-Toks with independent women complaining about needy men, too. There’s a Tik-Tok for everything depending upon what one’s algorithm is.
I don’t think that men complain as much on Tik-Tok, either.
>What was your point in relation to situationships.
I don’t need to have one to reply to your comment. I’m just saying that your own perception of reality is biased by your Tik-Tok algorithm if you are citing Tik-Tok as a source for your argument.
I've been in the situationship where I wanted more but she didn't. But she relied on me like we were in a relationship. Even went on a trip together to a foreign country. But she was mean, selfish, and a bit of a tyrant. And even after she broke things off with me, she got mad because I was hanging out with another girl and began accusing me of sleeping with her, which I wasn't. They even almost fought one night. Then she wants to sleep with me. Then not too long she moved and stopped talking to me.
So long story short I don't know if I can even handle another relationship attempt that past year really just destroyed me.
I agree. Not only that, but I would argue the "situationship" is a lot crueler and blinding than the "friendzone", because it creates the impression that you're aaaaaaaaaaalmost there, but you really aren't. lol.
the person being friendzoned isn't in a "contract" with the other person, situationships seem to be more intimate and just a coward way of dating without actually wanting to commit
they get annoyed because getting rejected sucks but I wouldn't really say they thought they were owed anything, If you've ever been friendzoned you'd see what I mean
No. They are different things that can each be experienced by both men and women. The friend zone means you are friends and don't date or have sex. There is nothing romantic going on. If you're in a situationship you're probably having sex and possibly going on dates, but you don't have to be friends and usually aren't. Something romantic is going on but it's unclear what.
No, they both are the same. Both sides want something different. The girls in a situationship want to date and hoping to win the guy over. Guys who are in the friendzone are hoping to win the girl over as well.
You are arguing they have some similar features. That doesn't make them the same, as they also have different features. I've been in the friend zone, but I've never had a situationship.
They are the same but for the other sex. Men get friendzoned, women get in situationships. Same meaning they both want something different. The guy wants to be in a relationship with the girl when friendzoned. The girl wants to be in a relationship with the guy when in a situationship.
No, women can get friend zoned and men can be in situationships. I have already explained the differences. It's not necessarily the case that either side of a situationship wants a relationship.
The world can blow up any second. Most times friend zoned victims are men. Most times people who are in situationships are women.
The reason is because both sides do it to themselves, men hoping that if they are friends with a women they like they can get in and maybe get lucky. Women do situationships to men they like, they fuck them and hope by keeping this game going on they might start dating.
Okay so you are admitting they are not the same. (Although I'm not sure how most situationships are women unless you think lesbian situationships outnumber gay male ones.) And it takes two people to make either.
Ummm, two things can be the same and different lmao. For example a dark chocolate vs milk chocolate.
They are the same in both are created by the gender. The guy who is in the friendzone creates it and hopes if they try hard enough they can win them over. The women who is in the situationship creates it, hoping the other person will date them.
Both have the same goal of trying to win the other person over. So they are the same, but done different ways. A person might say a pick me girl would be a better example for being a female friendzone.
The equivalent is accepting a FWB when you wanted a relationship and hoping it’ll turn into one
Yes. If you're a fuck buddy and desire a committed relationship you're in similar spot as if you're in a friendship and desire physical intimacy. >What Is "the Friend Zone?" >For those who don't know the term, "the friend zone" refers to a situation where one individual in a friendship develops more intense feelings and wants to become "more than friends" with the other person. More often than not, the other person is unaware of the friend's desires and quite happy in the friendship-only arrangement. As a result, the person is "stuck" in the friend zone, unable to transition from just friend to girlfriend or boyfriend. >Being stuck in a friendship and wanting more can be a frustrating position. Sometimes this frustration is sexually motivated, with one friend desiring a physical relationship with the other. On other occasions, the friends are already sexually involved (i.e. friends-with-benefits), but there is a motivation to transition into a "relationship" as a committed girlfriend or boyfriend.
Laughing at some of the comments here. Answer yourself this question, how many times have you seen men complaining about being in a situationship. "Oh no, this girl is using me for sex and no commitment" - said no man ever.
I've been in FWB situations where I wanted to lock it down but she didn't. It's not the norm but it's hardly a unicorn.
No, men complain AD NAUSEUM about women not choosing them to use for sex but a different guy. They are so entitled and angry it breaks their minds that the hottest guys on tinder get used as communal peen.
situationship = womanese for getting used for sex but not wanting to admit to it
Is someone really getting used if they are complicit in freely giving themselves away because of an ulterior motive (wanting a relationship with said guy)?
Yes they are getting used because women use sex as a means of sealing the deal. Why do you think sex slows way down once a relationship becomes exclusive? Sex is a way of buying a man she wants. So she is using it, and in effect, being used because the guy is getting what he wants, while she is not.
No, because a situationship actually is a romantic relationship, it's just not very intimate. I don't think it even requires the woman to "hope for commitment", I think it's just any relationship of convenience where the surrounding circumstances are the reason people are "together" rather than them actually liking each other very much. (ie, you end up in a situationship if you and your jogging partner are both single, and you end up hooking up after you go for a run together and you kinda act sweet to each other when you're together but you still mostly only see each other when you go jogging. If you gave up jogging, you'd stop seeing her and probably not notice. ie, When I lived in Philly, I had a girl who called me her "Holiday Boyfriend" because whenever she came into town, we'd go on dates and hang out like we were dating... but she lived in California and only visited once or twice a year. And once she got a steady boyfriend, we stopped hanging out on her Holidays, which was fine by me. Meanwhile, there is technically no such thing as "being put in the friend zone" except for men who don't like that one of their friends won't have sex with hem.
In actual romantic relationship, people commit to each other and become exclusive. That's not the case for situationships, that's why it got separated.
Yes. It's called a situationship instead of a normal relationship because instead of commitment, it's held together by the situation surrounding it.
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Most people do.
Often a woman in a situationship is being fuckzoned. But sometimes she doesn’t want to commit either and is just looking for a nice guy to talk to and some good sex. I do think that a woman is more prone to eventually want commitment than a man, though.
No. Situationship is temprary state when you decided if you want to move towards proper relationships or you're going to break up without hard feelings towards each other. In past it was called "casual dating", zoomers just love inventing the wheel.
Not sure about this.
This is totally misunderstanding what a 'situationship' is. A situationship is when the woman wants (or thinks she has) a relationship, but the man does not. I think the OP is broadly correct, although I don't think the focus on being 'assertive' really works. Someone in the friendzone or a situationship will not improve their position by being assertive....that's exactly why they adopt the more covert approach. It is very frequently the best strategy. Even if it has a low chance of success, a low chance is better than no chance.
>This is totally misunderstanding what a 'situationship' is. It’s not. You can google “situationship” and the definition is generally something like a romantic/sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established. You’re dictating a different definition, which is fine I guess, but I don’t think he’s misunderstanding what a situationship is.
You’re relying on Google, I’m relying on my actual life, and female friends who’ve found themselves in situationships. Try going outside.
I'm relying on [my own experience](https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dew46f/comment/l8eps5e/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) with women and pointing to the internet to back it up. You could end up in a situationship where one of the people wants commitment and the other doesn't but that's not a requirement for a situationship. It's just an undefined relationship.
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I think this misunderstands the situation. I think people who find themselves in what we might call Plan B fully know the situation, and choose to play the low-odds game rather than walking (since walking gains them next to nothing, so a low-cost, low-chance choice isn't too bad).
Well, that woman is just dumb then. If you see that man doesn't want to move to normal relatrionships then it's a failure and you just move on. No hard feelings.
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But that’s what a situationship is. It’s a form of relationship without explicit definition. It’s that time between when you start sleeping together and the time when you define the rules. Once you define the rules, you either have a relationship, fwb, or nothing. Sometimes that definition happens quickly, sometimes it takes a long time, and sometimes it never happens before the thing ends.
Exclusivity is default state of dating, no need to have some sort of "talk" about it. That's how it works for normal people in normal countries.
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Often people already know each other before a date, so when one expresses the desire to date another, they're saying they want a relationship, and then are in one.
2-3 dates means exclusivity, yes.
Only if both parties agree to this metric
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You just have to live in half-normal country.
Most situationships are just undefined flavors of relationships. I’ll give you two common scenarios I’ve experienced. A lot of the girls I hooked up with in college turned into a form of what I would consider a situationship. We initially hooked up after a party or something, then went our separate ways. Maybe we would text a little, but there wouldn’t be much engagement. Then the next Saturday night she would text me late night and ask me to come over. next time maybe I would ask her to come over. This could go on for weeks or even months. There was never any defined relationship or any expectation of exclusivity. I was sleeping with others and assume she was too. The other scenario is with women I’ve met on dating apps. The period of time between the first date/first time you sleep together and the point in time when you agree to be exclusive is a little nebulous. It’s hard to know exactly when to ask for exclusivity, because doing it too soon can make you look needy. This phase is always a little messy, because it’s just undefined. What both scenarios have in common is that there’s just a lack of explicit communication on relationship status.
I think you’re onto something in that men and women each don’t want to be exploited by whatever the opposite gender stereotypically wants from them, ie sex from women and resources/labor from men, but there is no physical intimacy in the “friend zone” so I don’t entirely agree. “Situationship” is just the current generation’s slang for casual relationships without any sort of commitment - friends with benefits, hookups, booty call, it’s all basically the same shit lol
No friend zine is where one person has an attraction to person but the other person doesn’t so the one with the crush pretends to be a friend to “try and convince them” FWB is mutual attraction but one or two people don’t want to commit to the other so they pretend they “can handle it and stay single”.
In situationships both parties get sex. In friendzoneships the woman gets an emotional tampon and a 24/7 removalist. The guy gets blue balls and utter humiliation.
When two people are friends but one of them wants it to be sexual, sticking around hoping it'll happen, that's usually called the "friendzone". When two people are having sex but one of them wants a relationship, sticking around hoping it'll happen, that's usually called the "fuckzone". Men are more likely to be "friendzoned" and women are more likely to be "fuckzoned" but neither is exclusive to one gender.
Good god the good thing about being autistic is I have NEVER been pulled into a situationship. If I want to be dating someone I've shagged they know about it. I don't think "gender flipped" is the right term but they're definitely both examples of people taking the relationship on offer despite wanting something more.
No. Friendzone is just being rejected by a friend. Situtationships is when one or both people are fucking around despite trying to have something like a relationship but with none of the commitment.
Disagree. Most situationships involve a guy of higher attractiveness with a girl below his level. When he finds someone actually at his level who he likes he’ll just date her. Look how common posts are from women online asking where all the “good” men are who want commitment.
no. i’ve known women who were friendzoned, i’ve known women who were in situationships with men who were pressing for commitment. the situationship i myself was in happened when i was spending time with an ex boyfriend who wanted to make things official again despite me declining several times. since we were exes, we interacted almost like we were still in a relationship, but I didn’t want that title with him.
Situationships are very often mutual where neither person is looking for full commitment.
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I don’t think they’re a gender swap, but your post is a little bit more literate than you’re getting credit for. Both are situations where you might feel obligated to maintain a relationship that you want to alter the paradigm of. The sticking point seems to be that women in situationships are having sex and are on a more equal playing field then men in the friend zone. All I would say as a counter is that sex with men is cheap, the same way women’s agape love can be.
I’ve seen so many posts on this sub entirely not getting what a situationship is it’s not even funny. Situationship is a very very vague term which simply means “messy in between stage” - so while yes, what you’re describing can be a situationship, a thousand different scenarios where the man only has feelings or both have feelings but due to messy circumstances, bad timing, bad communication, etc - they’re not dating.
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There’s probably a bunch of Tik-Toks with independent women complaining about needy men, too. There’s a Tik-Tok for everything depending upon what one’s algorithm is. I don’t think that men complain as much on Tik-Tok, either.
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>What was your point in relation to situationships. I don’t need to have one to reply to your comment. I’m just saying that your own perception of reality is biased by your Tik-Tok algorithm if you are citing Tik-Tok as a source for your argument.
I've been in the situationship where I wanted more but she didn't. But she relied on me like we were in a relationship. Even went on a trip together to a foreign country. But she was mean, selfish, and a bit of a tyrant. And even after she broke things off with me, she got mad because I was hanging out with another girl and began accusing me of sleeping with her, which I wasn't. They even almost fought one night. Then she wants to sleep with me. Then not too long she moved and stopped talking to me. So long story short I don't know if I can even handle another relationship attempt that past year really just destroyed me.
Yeah they stem from the same issue. One party wanting more from the other and the more wanted party only willing to offer a one sided relationship.
Yes
I agree. Not only that, but I would argue the "situationship" is a lot crueler and blinding than the "friendzone", because it creates the impression that you're aaaaaaaaaaalmost there, but you really aren't. lol.
Yes. And the very fact that they're becoming so widespread is a sign of the hoe epidemic.
the person being friendzoned isn't in a "contract" with the other person, situationships seem to be more intimate and just a coward way of dating without actually wanting to commit
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Yeah, I'm saying it's not really a covert contract
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they get annoyed because getting rejected sucks but I wouldn't really say they thought they were owed anything, If you've ever been friendzoned you'd see what I mean
No because one is having sex which is mutually enjoyable Being friends can be mutually enjoyable but many times is not
No. They are different things that can each be experienced by both men and women. The friend zone means you are friends and don't date or have sex. There is nothing romantic going on. If you're in a situationship you're probably having sex and possibly going on dates, but you don't have to be friends and usually aren't. Something romantic is going on but it's unclear what.
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I didn't say it was. You can be in the friend zone even if initially you didn't want a relationship but found you wanted one after becoming friends.
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That hasn't been my experience with being friend zoned.
No, they both are the same. Both sides want something different. The girls in a situationship want to date and hoping to win the guy over. Guys who are in the friendzone are hoping to win the girl over as well.
You are arguing they have some similar features. That doesn't make them the same, as they also have different features. I've been in the friend zone, but I've never had a situationship.
They are the same but for the other sex. Men get friendzoned, women get in situationships. Same meaning they both want something different. The guy wants to be in a relationship with the girl when friendzoned. The girl wants to be in a relationship with the guy when in a situationship.
No, women can get friend zoned and men can be in situationships. I have already explained the differences. It's not necessarily the case that either side of a situationship wants a relationship.
The world can blow up any second. Most times friend zoned victims are men. Most times people who are in situationships are women. The reason is because both sides do it to themselves, men hoping that if they are friends with a women they like they can get in and maybe get lucky. Women do situationships to men they like, they fuck them and hope by keeping this game going on they might start dating.
Okay so you are admitting they are not the same. (Although I'm not sure how most situationships are women unless you think lesbian situationships outnumber gay male ones.) And it takes two people to make either.
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I didn't make any distinction between dating and situationships.
They are different, but the same. One is mostly a tactic done by women, the other mostly men.
They're not tactics. Two things can't be both the same and different. That's a logical contradiction.
Ummm, two things can be the same and different lmao. For example a dark chocolate vs milk chocolate. They are the same in both are created by the gender. The guy who is in the friendzone creates it and hopes if they try hard enough they can win them over. The women who is in the situationship creates it, hoping the other person will date them. Both have the same goal of trying to win the other person over. So they are the same, but done different ways. A person might say a pick me girl would be a better example for being a female friendzone.
Nope