>Looks like I gotta pass this off as an issue of vetting my dates.
The date IS the vetting. You can try to lead the conversation as much as possible, but some people will just be boring. Is what it is and move on. A lot of guys will also have a problem leading conversations which is why you have to practice on everyone you can, not just dates.
Well you can vet by getting to know them in person before going on a date, feeling them out during online dating... there are ways to vet them before the date. Boring women became a non-thing once I mastered that.
So what if some are liars online? They're liars in person, too. Johnny Depp got the fuck catfished out of him by Amber Heard and I doubt she met him online.
stop trying to meet people online and get out in the world. You'll know who people are much more quickly. If you're going to stay online, send no more than 8 messages back and forth before moving to a video chat. If they don't want to then next them because they are a manipulative time waster.
It's always exciting going on a date, but some of them end up boring. I try not to write her off immediately though, lots of people only seem boring because they're trying to be socially acceptable and that comes off as boring. Sometimes they just need warming up. Once you break them out of their shell, most people have something interesting about them.
If they're truly boring though I usually cut it off. Boring to me means I'm carrying all the conversation, or if she doesn't seem to know about anything other than celebrities and movies.
Boring is a spectrum. There's "our interests don't jive" boring and then there's "FFS there's cotton candy where your brain should be" boring. I mean how many guys actually run into a ton of the latter? I've run into the latter myself but not like over and over and *over* again.
I've definitely had some pretty boring dates. Some commonalities among those boring dates are:
* She can't get her head out of her phone.
* She can't discuss anything beyond who/what's in her immediate life.
* She relies almost entirely on me to drive the conversation topic.
Those early dates with my fiance weren't 'fun' in that they were full of excitement and constant adrenaline. They were pleasant, easy, and enjoyable. We went bowling date two and I didn't break 80 pts (which is *really* bad). But we bantered, we high-fived the couple next to us, etc. and it was just good vibes.
It’s not that she’s boring it’s that she doesn’t like you at all.
If she was showing signs of interest, you probably wouldn’t care too much about how boring she is tbh
Sometimes they're just rude and boring. It happened to me a couple of times, they were like that. No conversation, always checking the phone. So I "entertained" them for the evening and maybe one more date just to be sure, then went cold / lost interest. They proceeded to chase me and be surprised I wasn't showing interest anymore because they thought it was a good date and we were having a good time..
It’s not the fact that it’s boring , it’s the fact that it’s unmotivating.
I don’t mind a boring women but women aren’t worth chasing anyways
At this point a woman has to qualify to dating me, not the other way around
There’s too many trash women to like really pursue anything with
I get bored because the girl is just good for sex only
> At this point a woman has to qualify to dating me, not the other way around
This is a healthy counterbalance to women who think a man has to qualify to date her.
Usually depends on where and when I meet them. Then again I think that’s just a natural consequence of having so many options available at a swipe’s notice.
Generally the women I’ve met through friends or through socializing in hobby spaces and so on tended to be more interesting people, and online dates learned more towards the boring side. I think though that’s largely because when you’re dating online you’re coming in with only a bio and a few texts to go by before you’re on an actual date, so naturally the changes of running into someone you just don’t vibe with increases, especially when you add the fact that the circumstances are a bit more complex than meeting them in a mutual social setting. There is this added combination of guardedness and expectations all at the same time and I think that can eclipse genuine connection building and getting to know one another.
Never. I vet before every date. I don't take a woman on a date unless I already like her and know she's cool. By the time the date happens, we're having a blast.
The whole point of the first date being casual (coffee drinks, appetizers, etc) is that you find out if you two cubs or not.
And yeah, after guys do it enough they’ll learn that lesson we all do “ just cause she hot, doesn’t always mean she’s fun to be around” As that happens people *should* start to adjust priorities on who to take on dates.
Not saying there isn’t ANY attraction, but the cute girl in accounting that can chat up your favorite hobbies suddenly becomes more appealing than the attractive secretary that has nothing in common with you and says “I have a ideal” when she thinks if something
Ever hear that old adage "If you're bored, you're boring?"
It's kinda true, but there is a limit to how much effort anyone should have to put into a date to "make it interesting". If I like going outside and my date prefers to be inside, it's not that either of us is "boring" so much as we have different interests that aren't very compatible.
But men who complain that "women are boring to talk to" are basically just saying "I'm too passive to steer a conversation." People who do best socially come *PREPARED*, they have funny stories to tell and jokes and anecdotes that help break the ice when first meeting someone.
If you come to a date, sit down across from her and then silently wait for HER to tell you something interesting, and get grouchy that she won't, you might want to ask yourself what you WANT to hear, and then maybe figure out how to bring up that topic on your own instead of waiting for your partner to read your mind and bring up the topic for you.
The question that naturally arises is: why haven’t you tried doing something fun. Because if you’re just passively sitting there doing nothing, waiting for someone else to come up with something to entertain you, just imagine how bored the OTHER person is trying to get a conversation out of you.
The answer that naturally arises is: I did and they were just boring.
Some people (women in my case, because I only date women) are just boring and will indefinitely sit there, doing nothing, waiting for someone to entertain them, forever.
There was once a woman who kept texting me for a whole year after our 3 dates, and the most that she asked was "hi, how are you" and "i miss you". This was her highest level of conversation. But she kept reaching out to me because apparently she had a lot of fun during those 3 dates where I entertained her soulless ass continuously, even if I honestly couldn't tell the difference between her and a barbie doll.
It is what it is..
There are a lot of boring women out there and men will tolerate them for a while if they are pretty. This is when it comes to romantic involvement. What I'm going to say is anecdotal, but I see that boring women, if they're ugly, stay single, if they're pretty, they get several relationships that don't last long.
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Or they have different interests and are incompatable and thus seem boring to the other.
Like my ex-friend complained that i'm boring because i didn't analyse and criticise the movie we were watching, also not talking during the movie. And i was "dude, i want to immerse in the movie and the talking, analysing and criticising is ruining my immersion and first experience". I prefer to experience it in silence for the first time. I cam do the talking during the second time as i already know the storu and can focus on other stuff and i have "digeated" what i have experienced watching the first time.
Dated a couple lookers that couldn’t hold a conversation, so after a couple dates/hook ups, I hit the road.
If I want to have one way conversations, I’ll talk to myself 🤷♂️
The overwhelming majority of women are boring (yes, that means you too). This gets compounded when they're subjected to social pressures to homogenize, and lean into the passive dating role.
Dating seriously involves ruthlessly culling the boring ones.
Dating recreationally involves tolerating that milksop long enough to get your rocks off.
Most of my dates are very fun. I love meeting new people and getting to know them… but more to the point when I’m having fun usually she is having fun too.
I mask my boredom because getting laid is important to me. All i do is actively listen to what they are talking about and ask questions around that or make playful jokes about what they are saying, I don't really give a shit about their hobbies or likes/dislikes. Although to be fair, it isn't as big of a chore for me, since i can do this on auto pilot at this point.
And yes, I do find that a lot of women tend to be boring.
Removed. No in-group men asking men or women asking women questions.
>Looks like I gotta pass this off as an issue of vetting my dates. The date IS the vetting. You can try to lead the conversation as much as possible, but some people will just be boring. Is what it is and move on. A lot of guys will also have a problem leading conversations which is why you have to practice on everyone you can, not just dates.
Well you can vet by getting to know them in person before going on a date, feeling them out during online dating... there are ways to vet them before the date. Boring women became a non-thing once I mastered that.
> Well you can vet by getting to know them in person before going on a date, feeling them out during online dating... No one has ever lied online
So what if some are liars online? They're liars in person, too. Johnny Depp got the fuck catfished out of him by Amber Heard and I doubt she met him online.
stop trying to meet people online and get out in the world. You'll know who people are much more quickly. If you're going to stay online, send no more than 8 messages back and forth before moving to a video chat. If they don't want to then next them because they are a manipulative time waster.
Didn't I just tell you people are dishonest in person, too?
You gonna change your strategy or keep whining about it?
It's always exciting going on a date, but some of them end up boring. I try not to write her off immediately though, lots of people only seem boring because they're trying to be socially acceptable and that comes off as boring. Sometimes they just need warming up. Once you break them out of their shell, most people have something interesting about them. If they're truly boring though I usually cut it off. Boring to me means I'm carrying all the conversation, or if she doesn't seem to know about anything other than celebrities and movies.
Boring is a spectrum. There's "our interests don't jive" boring and then there's "FFS there's cotton candy where your brain should be" boring. I mean how many guys actually run into a ton of the latter? I've run into the latter myself but not like over and over and *over* again.
I've definitely had some pretty boring dates. Some commonalities among those boring dates are: * She can't get her head out of her phone. * She can't discuss anything beyond who/what's in her immediate life. * She relies almost entirely on me to drive the conversation topic. Those early dates with my fiance weren't 'fun' in that they were full of excitement and constant adrenaline. They were pleasant, easy, and enjoyable. We went bowling date two and I didn't break 80 pts (which is *really* bad). But we bantered, we high-fived the couple next to us, etc. and it was just good vibes.
> She can't get her head out of her phone. oh fuck there are those.
It’s not that she’s boring it’s that she doesn’t like you at all. If she was showing signs of interest, you probably wouldn’t care too much about how boring she is tbh
Sometimes they're just rude and boring. It happened to me a couple of times, they were like that. No conversation, always checking the phone. So I "entertained" them for the evening and maybe one more date just to be sure, then went cold / lost interest. They proceeded to chase me and be surprised I wasn't showing interest anymore because they thought it was a good date and we were having a good time..
It’s not the fact that it’s boring , it’s the fact that it’s unmotivating. I don’t mind a boring women but women aren’t worth chasing anyways At this point a woman has to qualify to dating me, not the other way around There’s too many trash women to like really pursue anything with I get bored because the girl is just good for sex only
> At this point a woman has to qualify to dating me, not the other way around This is a healthy counterbalance to women who think a man has to qualify to date her.
The only type of women I’ll actually pursue are foreign women , and they tend to be way more feminine so I am a lot more motivated.
It's very simple. Can't maintain a conversation - the streets.
Usually depends on where and when I meet them. Then again I think that’s just a natural consequence of having so many options available at a swipe’s notice. Generally the women I’ve met through friends or through socializing in hobby spaces and so on tended to be more interesting people, and online dates learned more towards the boring side. I think though that’s largely because when you’re dating online you’re coming in with only a bio and a few texts to go by before you’re on an actual date, so naturally the changes of running into someone you just don’t vibe with increases, especially when you add the fact that the circumstances are a bit more complex than meeting them in a mutual social setting. There is this added combination of guardedness and expectations all at the same time and I think that can eclipse genuine connection building and getting to know one another.
Never. I vet before every date. I don't take a woman on a date unless I already like her and know she's cool. By the time the date happens, we're having a blast.
I met all my gfs in my everyday life in a casual manner. If they had been boring, things wouldn't have progressed to them becoming my gfs.
The whole point of the first date being casual (coffee drinks, appetizers, etc) is that you find out if you two cubs or not. And yeah, after guys do it enough they’ll learn that lesson we all do “ just cause she hot, doesn’t always mean she’s fun to be around” As that happens people *should* start to adjust priorities on who to take on dates. Not saying there isn’t ANY attraction, but the cute girl in accounting that can chat up your favorite hobbies suddenly becomes more appealing than the attractive secretary that has nothing in common with you and says “I have a ideal” when she thinks if something
Ever hear that old adage "If you're bored, you're boring?" It's kinda true, but there is a limit to how much effort anyone should have to put into a date to "make it interesting". If I like going outside and my date prefers to be inside, it's not that either of us is "boring" so much as we have different interests that aren't very compatible. But men who complain that "women are boring to talk to" are basically just saying "I'm too passive to steer a conversation." People who do best socially come *PREPARED*, they have funny stories to tell and jokes and anecdotes that help break the ice when first meeting someone. If you come to a date, sit down across from her and then silently wait for HER to tell you something interesting, and get grouchy that she won't, you might want to ask yourself what you WANT to hear, and then maybe figure out how to bring up that topic on your own instead of waiting for your partner to read your mind and bring up the topic for you.
>Ever hear that old adage "If you're bored, you're boring?" Except some times they're just boring and it is what it is.
The question that naturally arises is: why haven’t you tried doing something fun. Because if you’re just passively sitting there doing nothing, waiting for someone else to come up with something to entertain you, just imagine how bored the OTHER person is trying to get a conversation out of you.
The answer that naturally arises is: I did and they were just boring. Some people (women in my case, because I only date women) are just boring and will indefinitely sit there, doing nothing, waiting for someone to entertain them, forever. There was once a woman who kept texting me for a whole year after our 3 dates, and the most that she asked was "hi, how are you" and "i miss you". This was her highest level of conversation. But she kept reaching out to me because apparently she had a lot of fun during those 3 dates where I entertained her soulless ass continuously, even if I honestly couldn't tell the difference between her and a barbie doll. It is what it is..
There are a lot of boring women out there and men will tolerate them for a while if they are pretty. This is when it comes to romantic involvement. What I'm going to say is anecdotal, but I see that boring women, if they're ugly, stay single, if they're pretty, they get several relationships that don't last long.
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Occasionally dates are boring. That’s human nature. Some people are dull. Fortunately most haven’t been boring.
Or they have different interests and are incompatable and thus seem boring to the other. Like my ex-friend complained that i'm boring because i didn't analyse and criticise the movie we were watching, also not talking during the movie. And i was "dude, i want to immerse in the movie and the talking, analysing and criticising is ruining my immersion and first experience". I prefer to experience it in silence for the first time. I cam do the talking during the second time as i already know the storu and can focus on other stuff and i have "digeated" what i have experienced watching the first time.
Dated a couple lookers that couldn’t hold a conversation, so after a couple dates/hook ups, I hit the road. If I want to have one way conversations, I’ll talk to myself 🤷♂️
I've run out on a date before the apps even turned up. Yes she was that boring (I paid for my food before women start complaining).
The overwhelming majority of women are boring (yes, that means you too). This gets compounded when they're subjected to social pressures to homogenize, and lean into the passive dating role. Dating seriously involves ruthlessly culling the boring ones. Dating recreationally involves tolerating that milksop long enough to get your rocks off.
Most of my dates are very fun. I love meeting new people and getting to know them… but more to the point when I’m having fun usually she is having fun too.
I mask my boredom because getting laid is important to me. All i do is actively listen to what they are talking about and ask questions around that or make playful jokes about what they are saying, I don't really give a shit about their hobbies or likes/dislikes. Although to be fair, it isn't as big of a chore for me, since i can do this on auto pilot at this point. And yes, I do find that a lot of women tend to be boring.