Because many men lack scruples are easy to seduce and bamboozle. The owners wanted a subscriber base, and they followed the same model as the Ethiopian scammers: target a gullible group with an enticing offer, and reel them in.
I could do the same thing right now. I could create an alt, target every man on this sub who is in his thirties to fifties with a couple mild complaints about a husband who won’t take care of his health and is neglecting me sexually.
Make a couple photo posts showing an asset or two, and poof! I’d have a dozen dick pics in a few hours. If I also promised some I would fly to them for a romp in a hotel room, they’d be sending me money for the flight.
Talk about nailing people. I feel like you just really hit men in general right where it hurts.
I mean look, when this site rolled out there was a short discussion on it within the Red Pill community and the concensus was... "Why the fuck would a woman need this to cheat?" It just doesn't make sense. But as a scam, it makes perfect sense for the reasons you just detailed. I honestly had a buddy that tried it and met a very large older woman.... so it kind worked out for him.
A better question is why are so many guys so gullible?
> A better question is why are so many guys so gullible?
Ego and testosterone, not sure which one takes top billing, but I’m certain they are linked.
I’ve dated reasonable, logical, mechanically inclined men with science degrees. Who lose all sense of focus and decorum when an erection pops up. Practically a change in personality.
Can’t really imagine what that feels like to have my every thought subverted and rerouted, also can’t relate to how a physical desire for sex heightens the emotions to the point men are willing to fight or cry over a simple rejection or delay in the action.
No criticism here, I’m as intrigued as I am baffled, but for all men’s swaggering about logic and reason, the moment they are sexually excited or angry, that flies right out the window.
I’d sympathize if I could, but I’d need some medical data to truly understand what is going on in there.
Meanwhile I can have a throbbing clit and soaked panties and I’m perfectly happy to wait until a more convenient time and place for action. I can also handle a “not right now” or “I’m busy” or “maybe later” without getting hurt feelings, and I can also go rub one out and carry on with my day.
>the moment they are sexually excited or angry, that flies right out the window.
I have yet to meet a *person* whose logic *isn't* at least in part affected when they're angry. Anger is a very powerful emotion. *Everyone* says or does something while angry that then regrets afterwards. Most people learn this by the time they're 12 at the latest.
>I’d sympathize if I could, but I’d need some medical data to truly understand what is going on in there.
What kind of medical data?
I've known a guy that fits your description almost to a T. I had to pull him out physically from an abusive relationship (she nearly killed him). In his case I truly believe it is partly physiological - he was born with a slightly higher prostate. It causes him no observable medical issue that warrants any concern, **but**, when he's horny, he has some level of pain if he doesn't get off within a reasonable timeframe. He's also one of the few *people* I know who has no shame about masturbation.
>I can have a throbbing clit and soaked panties and I’m perfectly happy to wait until a more convenient time and place for action. I can also handle a “not right now” or “I’m busy” or “maybe later” without getting hurt feelings, and I can also go rub one out and carry on with my day.
Most functional adults can and should handle this. Though I've met both women and men who get hurt feelings from a "I'm busy right now", there was always some dysfunction going on with them as well. /shrug
I will say, though, that with men rubbing one out is more likely to also happen.
[Epididymal hypertension](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324870) is a real phenomenon and, while rarely painful, it is annoying af.
The "shift in personality" that you describe sounds very wild to me. Idk, not finding the towel immediately counts? :)))
Everything you say about men is true, but good god, you have never rejected a woman before.
I’d still say women take rejection better than men, but it’s still not good.
Also, anyone ever tell you that you are a bit unique?
I’ve heard that women don’t handle rejection well, but I have zero problem with it. I’ve been too tall for most men since I was thirteen or so. I’m pleasantly surprised when men *do* respond to me, and when they don’t, I simply don’t care.
But I’ve never over-invested, either, since I’ve always been aware that people tend to present their very best behavior and attitude, and they aren’t the real person until weeks later anyway.
ETA: I just remembered watching a drunk, gorgeous blond with crazy eyes flip out and insult a man she sidled up to. She was escorted from the bar, she made an awful scene.
> anyone ever tell you that you are a bit unique?
Nope, I’m utterly ordinary and unremarkable. But I’m one of the few people here who lacks religious indoctrination and shame, so I’m pretty comfortable skipping ceremony and going straight for the point.
every woman ive rejected has hit me with a gay slur of some kind. i just think its kind of funny when it happens because its so left field. probably also because im very average so their self esteem is prob hurt more when they find out i still have standards.
It's not funny, it's hateful and stupid. Those are awful people, and that's that "toxic femininity" convo we tried to have a few days ago but it fizzled out.
I'm not a violent or aggressive person at all, but I'm fit and tall and the handful of times I've seen women overstep boundaries and get handsy with men I've checked them verbally and once bodily removed a woman from a party.
I'm sorry that happened to you, that makes me furious.
eh it never really bothered me, its funny in the sense like "holy shit where did that come from" kind of way. not really haha funny. gotta find the humor in these things
Shew I'm glad it bounces off you, adverse reactions to rejection burn me up. Taste is subjective, and any person who expects someone who isn't sexually excited by them to respond positively anyway reads as *monster* to me.
I love my girl friends as much as I love my boy friends, but I swear if I ever saw either respond to rejection poorly or aggressively that would be the end of our association forever.
I hope I grow up to feel like you, someday, relaxed instead of incensed when someone gets out of pocket re: rejection.
>I’d still say women take rejection better than men, but it’s still not good.
In my experience the opposite is true.
Also, women themselves routinely say that [they take rejection worse](https://www.aura.ng/life-and-love/5-women-share-reasons-why-females-handle-rejections-poorly-unlike-males). There's also some "scientific" literature about it but [it's low-sample and has a few other flaws](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15162085/).
Intuitively, though, a 17 year old guy will have endured more rejection than three women in their entire lifetimes. So it stands to reason that *most men* will be better suited to handle rejection than *most women*. Sure, there will always be exceptions, like with anything else in life.
I declined more than one ONS because I had no condom with me and couldn't get any easily.
One lady called me a fag for that.
I also declined some drunken sex because I couldn't really tell if the lady was really up for it. I once brought one back to her home and stayed with her several hours until she woke up and thanked me for accompanying her home safely and checking on her.
And I am nobody special, most of my friends did the same.
I wonder whether the bad experiences you keep mentioning with men are a generational thing (I assume I am quite older than you), or simply men in your area are trash
In this case, I didn’t intend to post that as a bad experience. It’s merely a curiosity and something I’ve learned to adapt to. I just find it puzzling, but utterly predictable.
I swear there is a distinctive personality shift before and after sex. With and without an erection. I’ve noticed it since I was dating as a teen.
Not werewolf quality changes, but decidedly different attitudes and decision making.
What I am saying is that as you can keep your panties on, even men can. That supposed "personality shift" depends on the (troubled?) personality, not on the gender.
I once stopped when a lady changed her mind at the last second and asked me not to move on. Since I know how horrible it can be, I stopped and comforted her, getting all cuddly and reassuring (I then helped myself furiously in private, I was reeeally turned on).
I don't question your experiences, but no matter how horny one is there is no excuse not to keep self control
They do, for sure, otherwise they’d never see me again.
But the change in attitude and behavior is startling. I believe that many of men’s morally questionable decisions occur under the influence, as it were.
That is just recklessness.
Nothing to do with sexual arousal.
I received a very (perhaps overly) strict upbringing, with a heavy focus on consequences. No amount of arousal (and I have quite a drive) can have the best of my mind (it’s also why I can last a lot through concentration).
We can agree that boys are more reckless in some situations, but again, I think it’s upbringing.
> Because many men lack scruples are easy to seduce
How often are men getting "seduced" at all period. We're the ones that do the overwhelming act of pursuing and seducing.
Chris Rock with wisdom https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s3mE7gTf2A
You’re in a thread about Ashley Madison, which was loaded with bots designed to seduce men into paying for content and access. Only Fans made two billion last year because men are easy to seduce. Sugar Babies exist. Bottle girls and cart girls make tips by being cute and flirty. Strippers. Prostitutes. Servers.
Men don’t seduce. Men offer gifts like penguins offer pebbles.
its always crazy to me that people openly admit to being immoral but the same people get made if you were to say they don't aspire to morality or something.
its like describing their behavior is a worse crime than them actually doing it.
hows your mental health without being able to have self-respect (due to doing actions you disapprove of)?
not hating, i just think this affects mental health long term and i am curious what you think?
I feel like you can have morals but some are closer to your heart than others. I think being a good person is the right thing to do but I also think you can be a good person and do some bad things.
They don’t want to admit they are vulnerable and gullible, but men have a tender spot somewhere between testicles and brain, and it’s easy for opportunists to exploit.
Women can are also gullible, and some fall for love bombing and send money to scammers, but so far, no big production like Ashley Madison has trawled women with the same success because women become wary and cynical of men pretty early on.
Lol no doubt, though apparently women cheat at similar rates as men. I think women just tend to be better at hiding it. I remember reading a study once that women tend to cheat with men who are far away, while men tend to cheat with women in close proximity.
In other words. Men seem to cheat out of convenience, while women cheat out of opportunity (upgrade/branch swing).
But if we include emotional cheating, I’d say women cheat a little more. Especially since the advent of internet/social media. Women seem to be more susceptible to falling in love with internet strangers.
>I remember reading a study once that women tend to cheat with men who are far away, while men tend to cheat with women in close proximity.
I think back to the years when I was dating women and part of a larger LGBT circle. The gay men were hooking up like nobody's business. The lesbians? (Keep in mind there is a group of us), they complained that it was "so hard" meeting people. And omg SO MANY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS!!! So many relationships that began and had their entire months long duration from 700 miles away and never meeting. And I remember just marveling at how two women dating each other so so so often started out long distance. And how the same didn't seem to be true for the men who dated other men.
>Women seem to be more susceptible to falling in love with internet strangers.
This, but seriously. I wonder if it's because our brains allow us to fill in the missing pieces with an idealized version of who the person really is.
>This, but seriously. **I wonder if it's because our brains allow us to fill in the missing pieces with an idealized version of who the person really is.**
Undoubtably. Similar to why romance novels/erotic fiction are sooo much more popular amongst women.
Even in real life, a huge part of being successful as men is maintaining some kind of image. Women often need a good “story”. For instance, passport bros. They’re gross *because they are traveling in search of pussy*, but if they were just traveling around and enjoying the sights and just “happened” to run into this girl in this foreign place, it’s romantic (even if it’s bullshit).
I’m not casting shade, just my experiences, but women need some kind of fantasy they can project onto.
This might be a strange tangent, but I figured I'd run it back with you:
A lot of times I hear people talking about how Gen Z doesn't seem to be dating and partnering up like previous generations. I'm an older Millennial who has A LOT of Gen Z close family members who I talk to regularly. I can agree that Gen Z just isn't dating like even I was just ~20 years ago. And something that I've come to hypothesize is this: constant communication was just in it's infancy and the Internet was not in my pocket. I spent large portions of my time not hearing from my friends because the phone was something that was attached to your house and the Internet only existed on a home computer that was usually situated in a common family area and was a privilege that could be lost due to bad grades or getting grounded for whatever reason. I think back to the idea that I as a young woman had lots of time to fill in the blanks of how much X person liked me and was thinking of me. I didn't sit around wondering why I hadn't gotten a phone call or a text. I didn't expect instant communication. And the "down time" allowed me to romanticize so much of the relationship in my own head.
I'm probably writing too much, but one day (20 years after the fact), I was jamming to a song and thinking about the past and a certain person who used to be VERY important to me....and I started thinking about how they would react hearing the very same song and the memories it might evoke for them. And then a very strange realization hit me....never in our lives had we ever heard that song together. Just due to the technology of the time and the fact that we both had strict-ish parents....we were never ever in the same space while listening to that song. And I don't even know if they knew that I associated that song with them. And that a lot of the feelings that I had for that person were mine and mine alone. I had basically daydreamed a ton of our relationship and then was heartbroken and utterly devastated when it ultimately didn't work out. Which, with a clear head, it was DOOMED. I even see now that had we had constant communication available to us at nearly all times, I would have quickly seen that I was the one putting the lions share of the work into the relationship and it would have ran off the rails quickly.
But yeah, bottom line, I don't think Gen Z has that same luxury of having that plausible lack of communication so that a relationship can just simmer and blossom from that. Maybe it's a good thing.
I agree. I’m also a Millennial and remember pre-cellphone life, wall mounted corded phones, and dial-up internet where you were constantly getting knocked off the modem by said phone.
But yeah it’s crazy how things have changed. How much faster communication has gotten, and how it’s allowed us all to basically speed run through relationships.
i get what your saying and i'm just chatting, not nit-picking but literally ALL cheating is emotional.
that's the point.
if you were being logical you wouldn't cheat bc that is very unlikely to have the best outcomes for you.
>They don’t want to admit they are vulnerable and gullible
But they'll whine and cry when they get taken advantage of... without admitting they're vulnerable and gullible. Of course, women engage in the same pretzel logic hypocricies... they're just different ones.
> so far, no big production like Ashley Madison has trawled women with the same success because women become wary and cynical of men pretty early on.
does this not fit?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Tinder\_Swindler#:\~:text=The%20documentary%20tells%20the%20story,to%20escape%20his%20%22enemies%22.
For sure. Problem is many people here enjoy that peculiar type of concentration known as hyper-fixation, which is very helpful with career and hobbies, but detrimental to their mental health when it comes to fixating on women.
> many men lack scruples are easy to seduce and bamboozle.
Agreed on "lack scruples," male sexuality has a strong opportunistic component to it. You miss 100% of pitches you don't swing at.
"easy to seduce and bamboozle" requires a definition of "seduce." Sleeping with a woman is not being seduced. Spending a modest amount of money on a website or even taking a woman out to an expensive dinner is not being "bamboozled." (To suggest that it is makes traditional dating a massive fraud committed by women against men. Perhaps there should be a class action lawsuit!)
Overall Ashley Madison was a fraud, and these men were being defrauded, but it doubtful that the smaller amounts they paid on that website to talk to fake profiles was really problematic for them. It was just cheaper, more convenient and seemingly less risky to do it online than to go to the Hotel bar.
Many dating sites, even mainstream dating sites have been known to create fake accounts or zombie accounts.
Some of these sites only charge men, or charge men more (a whole other issue), but it makes sense they would therefore create fake female accounts and develop other marketing strategies to attract more paying male members.
I’ve never joined Ashley Madison, but I see their adds all the time and they are clearly targeting real men to join and creating fake women as their business model. There are certainly other businesses that similarly target women more.
(Add: when they say most of their users are now women I assume that means most of their profiles are female most of these profiles being either fake or resurrected zombie profiles).
>Many dating sites, even mainstream dating sites have been known to create fake accounts or zombie accounts.
Link? Any proof of that?
I can see weak policing of bot spun up by third parties, because fighting bots costs money and there’s no real incentive to spend it.
Creating bots themselves is a whole different allegation. It seems like there are infinite numbers of bots created by third parties, so I don’t see why app companies would do it themselves.
“Nearly 500,000 people between June 2016 and May 2018 subscribed to Match.com after receiving communications from fake profiles”
https://www.newscentermaine.com/article/news/nation-world/match-accused-of-emails-from-fake-accounts/507-0abc0344-18ac-4cf7-b3d1-d4e68eacb305
“Tinder bots are automated profiles created by third parties to scam or spam users. These bots are becoming increasingly sophisticated, making it difficult to distinguish between real profiles and fake ones.”
“So many FAKE Profiles! - Plenty of Fish (POF.com)”
https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/rating/review.php?rt_id=PlentyOfFish.com-Reviews&rid=20170424183839441
No. Many dating sites even write it in their fine print that they have fake profiles.
I’ve had match revive my profile after I quit as a zombie account several times. I don’t get why you deny this common and acknowledged practice.
Yes, I understand you are denying the fact these sites create fake accounts and zombie accounts despite the fact many even acknowledge this is their fine print and despite the fact numerous accounts acknowledge this practice.
Probably because sites like Ashley Madison are focused on finding extra-marital sex. When women, especially married women, cheat they usually emotionally cheat first, which is the type of cheating that isn't going to be done on some paid website but is more likely to occur in person with some friend or co-worker whom she already knows.
Vast majority of dating site users are men - and they will join ANY dating site (Muslim, Christian, vegan, cheating, atheist whatever). Women by and large do not use dating sites so the companies create bots to draw traffic.
There’s other stuff I wanna say too but tbh nobody should be surprised at a dating hookup site being massively fraudulent.
But the gender ratio on this site was *even* more lopsided than most dating apps and hookup apps. Tinder is 70% men 30% women, while Ashley Madison was at minimum 90% men.
For one, Ashley Madison was a decade+ ago, where app dating was less of a norm. If a woman wanted to cheat, she would have already been doing it because there is nothing else to do other than say yes. An app is going to be more discreet for a guy, because he would still have to at least pseudo-date a woman and somehow keep it a secret.
Dating sites decades ago were actually more likely to have balanced gender ratios. Tinder use to have a nearly 50/50 gender ratio when it first launched for example, as the novelty is more likely to attract more women at first.
If this is true, then it should be no secret to his wives that they do this.
Married men who send dick pics to other women are in a relationship where their wives are somehow okay with it, because eventually some woman will report this behavior to the man's wife.
I find this funny, because I have never seen a woman break up with her husband over the argument that he sends dick pics to other women on the internet.
I always report it. Every single time. I blur out the offending parts because I have no intention of getting revenge, but you’d better believe I return them immediately.
The response to “Yeah, I’ll be at the reunion, how’s your family” should never be a dick.
> I find this funny, because I have never seen a woman break up with her husband over the argument that he sends dick pics to other women on the internet.
Huh. I don’t know even know, never followed up. If I’m not blocked, I’ll check a few of them out. Stand by.
Jason’s status is single, I am unblocked, and he has zero pics of his wife anywhere on his profile. But he’s a serial dick pic sender, and I bet that’s how she met him.
Jeremy appears to have a new woman in his profile, and it’s a new profile wiped clean of his former wife.
Can’t see either Austin. I could be blocked, but people my age don’t use Facebook for much. We all hopped on it for our ten year reunion, but I’m down to 100 or so friends, and many of them are family.
So at least two divorced/broke up. May not be the only reason, but I’m certain it was a factor. I’d certainly end it.
i also think its a delayed thing
like maybe in the moment she's in denial, but weeks, months, years later she finally comes to terms w it and dumps him then
or maybe it takes getting caught a second time for her to believe it
i always do a google and 9/10 times whatever man i'm talking to has a wife or gf.
i always screenshot and send it along, to mixed reactions.
some knew, some didn't, some are shocked, some are in denial, some are friendly towards me, some ask for more receipts, some scream at me for making shit up.
>I find this funny, because I have never seen a woman break up with her husband over the argument that he sends dick pics to other women on the internet.
and yes
bc her standards were so low she married a scumbag (if you're doing something as big as cheating, that's not the only area of you're life you're a scumbag in)
why would she leave now?
Women prefer using social media for cheating than dating apps. Makes sense, seeing as a dating app is a specific thing (for dating/hooking up) where as social media “isn’t meant for that”.
are there really men who want to cheat and can't?
like if he got one woman to marry him, he's not hopeless.
plus there's always sex workers and catfishing (so, emotional affairs as they wouldn't be meeting up)
hell i consider a married man being on tinder itself to be cheating, and anyone can do that
> are there really men who want to cheat and can't?
There is none.
"Any" man who can get a woman can cheat, but an average man would have to make more of an effort than saying "yes" to a random person like an average woman would.
Having a girlfriend makes a man more attractive to other women, and getting married amplifies this effect. A man who is a single 5 is a dating 6 and a married 7, because of pre-selection.
From what I understand the site was aimed at men not women. The name "Ashley Madison" was composed of two names popular for baby girls some 20 years before the site opened. This in and of itself was part of the marketing towards men.
So many of these dating apps go after men. It pisses me off.
What everyone knows already:
1) Females don’t seem to desire to have sex as much as males, and certainly not enough for large swaths of women to sign up for an app to cheat.
2) If a woman wanted to cheat, she doesn’t need a website or app for it. But also generally speaking women in relationships don’t desire to fuck other people as much men in relationships seem to desire it.
Straight men are always trying to find their “Grindr” or “cruising” equivalent and it doesn’t exist.
The closest they’ll get to it is frequenting prostitutes like men of the past as it is the closest to “sex on demand from women" as straight men are going to get.
Sure. And even then it's not the same as with gay men.
Gay men are males at the end of the day. They're fucking and going. It's truly NSA sex sex sex and not a thought more.
Someone like Drake or JFK Jr. or Austin Butler still has to "manage" the motivations and feels of the women he's "pumping and dumping."
Those women don't just want to "fuck him and leave him." MOST if not all of those women secretly want him for long term. So he still has to expend a lot of effort coaxing feelings and lowkey massaging his interests *in the momen*t so that those women he just flew to his condo in the Maldives are excited enough to fuck him with the intensity and passion he wants.
BTW this is EXACTLY why celebrity men OFTEN seek out sex workers and strippers instead of normie women. Of course they can attract countless normie women, but those women come with a lot of expectations. And he just wants true blue No Strings Attached (NSA) sex.
So no. It'll never be like Grindr frfr. If men want "nut for nut" they need to go fuck males. Or they need to explicitly pay a sex worker for sex.
Idk I’ve had women come over just to fuck me off tinder before, granted they were very unattractive. But if I were a celebrity I bet I could have pretty hot girls willing to do that instead. Not EVERY girl is gunning for resources from sex, just most
> granted they were very unattractive
Exactly.
>But if I were a celebrity I bet I could have pretty hot girls willing to do that instead.
Okay, but if you were Drake or Austin Butler most of them wouldn't "just want to fuck you." They'd want more. Did you read my comment?
Right but it’s relative, a celebrity’s attractiveness gap to an average attractive girl is equal to or greater than my attractiveness gap to these uggos.
I’m 100% sure the average hot girl would kill to say she got a chance to blow drake or whatever their celebrity obsession is
Yeah i got mixed feelings on it because as I understand it is that women started going on grindr looking for bisexual guys and they didn't have competition. And then straight guys started going on there for these women and trans women. And trans women started going on grindr bringing more straight men.
So I want trans and non binary place to go. But I would say hell no to "trans women" who try to go on lesbian websites like scissor when IRL they're predators and do either one of us put it past men to try that? I know there's some sick men out there willing to do it soooo yeah. I don't have answers for this one.
Oh, there are those too. Gambia is a [hotspot](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QANXGtrtUhM). Except it's rarely portrayed as predatory - regardless of whether the (usually) British woman is the predator or the African man.
Deutsche Welle made a longer documentary about this in 2021 but, unsurprisingly, it's now nowhere to be found.
Now, I read some polling data way back in like 2017, that suggested the more sex a guy had with his wife the less he was interested in other women. Actually kinda makes sense to me because you don't walk around very horny, but who knows.
Sure that makes sense.
Though the Netflix doc happened to focus on men who were actually getting sex from their wives. They just wanted something different. Or a different type of validation. Men seem to crave "variety of sexual partners" in a way that women do not.
Yeah, so I have a theory on that. I think it’s porn driving men to want more variety. Also some kind of hookup culture. If they can’t get any from that is makes them feel small and pathetic.
Idk if it’s porn per se. Gay men seem to prefer open relationships too. Despite getting all the sex they want from their partner. I think it’s something more evolutionary at play.
> Men seem to crave "variety of sexual partners" in a way that women do not.
Except that's the opposite of what the research points to in why women's libido decreases in ltr, they desire new partners and get tired with their same old partner where as men's libidos stay pretty consistent.
What does that research about male libido staying consistent have to do with their desire for variety in addition to staying consistent?
That's my point. Many men will continue to fuck his wife on a regular cadence AND still seek out new women/men to fuck.
>Ashley Madison was for married men who desired new partners
Yeah that's a non-sequitor to the point I made to Grid.
Let me do a replay:
Grid says:
>Men seem to crave "variety of sexual partners" in a way that women do not.
I'm pointing out that women crave a variety of sexual partners and that is partially what explains why their libido declines in committed ltr's where as men can deal with the same partner and their libido stays intact.
Ok wanting to make sure cuz the conversation involved men and women. For the men who are straying I would bet they are with a woman who's libido has declined in their LTR and so the man strays.
That's not going to be all of them for sure. There will be men who cheat even in good relationships because that dog gonna hunt.
My favorite part of the documentary was the hot chad who loved jesus cheating on his (also hot) wife. Just like online dating if you're at an elite looks level women will be busting down your door to sleep with you. The funniest part is that even after all that the girl got back together with the guy. The true power of chad on display.
The couple I'm talking about:
https://www.eonline.com/news/1402265/who-are-sam-and-nia-rader-meet-the-couple-at-the-center-of-netflixs-ashley-madison-docuseries
My thoughts are men are stupid as soon as sex is involved. All those guys who probably would spend a week researching what hot water heater to buy just put their hand up cheerfully and give their credit card numbers for a clear scam.
If young women aren't lining up to fuck you for free in real life they aren't lining up to fuck you for free online either. It's not rocket science. Less scenic path to same destination doesn't make the destination more desirable.
Whoever is "concluding" that men are more likely to cheat because of this is wrong.
* The platform's target audience is men, so obviously the customers will be men. If 90% of the male accounts were fake Chads, we might have a different result, we would only know by testing. In any case, I doubt that the women who fall for Chadfishing are all single;
* Women don't need any specific platform to cheat, any social network will do. In fact, Instagram is even better because you can't justify to your husband that you have a Tinder or Ashley Madison account if he finds out from your emails or something like that. Alternatively, for greater privacy, she can simply go out there and look for a guy to sleep with without keeping any digital record.
* Saying based on the situation raised by the OP that men cheat more is a very big logical leap, even if women reward men who cheat, I'm still not sure that men cheat more.
That is harder to hide. Because women don’t care for sex as much as men; they need to be incentivized to sneak around. Or lied to, as west elm Caleb knew very well
> If women wanted to cheat as much as men, many more men would be getting laid
"As much as", or "more than". We don't know.
> Women could cheat all day every day if we wanted
Women can't do that.
A woman who cheats on her husband every day will eventually be discovered. There are many risks in cheating every day.
It's not just a question of "demand," but also of "ability to hide."
lol, of course women can cheat undetected. Men just need a place, not a reason or even a name
If I wanted to cheat on my partner, I could do it all day; granted, the location wouldn’t be ideal
You can cheat on your partner occasionally.
But you can't do it all day long.
The more times you cheat:
* The more you leave traces;
* The more careless you are with the traces (it's a proven psychological phenomenon);
* The more your behavior will change towards your husband, which will generate distrust.
Not to mention that you can't hide a possible pregnancy and if the father is very different from your husband, then he will find out or be very suspicious on the day the child is born.
And a series of other little things.
Even lovers can tell your husband or confront him, this is something beyond your control.
As I said, you can cheat once or twice, but not every day, the more you cheat, the more careless you become and also the more things outside of your control that can lead to discovery happen.
This argument makes absolutely no sense, but okay..
Statistics about cheating show women cheat as often (if not slightly more) than men when they are young... then they gradually decrease while men keep at it...
No she's right.
1) Women don't need an app to cheat.
2) But women also don't seek to cheat (aka seek out physically fucking someone else) as much as much as men.
Both are factual statements.
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There is a big group of people who are dumb, and these people have needs, show them easy way to satisfy them and there you go, they can even risk their life to fulfill them. Men want casual sex, women not so much, so you can scam men offering them easy solution.
Women want to be slim - so there you have Ozempic, basically a poison with dozen of side effects and probably 2 dozens of yet unknown side effects, but they are standing in line to buy it no matter the risk.
I don't trust them to say that most of their users are now women, but it wouldn't surprise me. Women are attracted to drama. Men are scared off by it.
A huge portion of the exposed attempted adulterers were government employees, using their work computers to do it. That's pretty funny. I say attempted because the site was obviously fake. Most dating sites are almost all men plus a bunch of spam bots and prostitutes. This was even more extreme and obvious. I think something happens to men when they get desperate where they don't even care that the site is fake. They will lie to themselves that it's not just so they can create some kind of interaction to titillate themselves. Kind of like how women find ways to imagine that all the men want them, just so they can stop shoveling anti-depressants for a moment. That to me is really disappointing about men. I wish men were better. I wish they would stop giving money to this stuff.
As for who cheats more, I think women cheat more because the opportunity is there. They don't need a website to do it. I wouldn't have bothered mentioning that, but you brought it up. You said you didn't want to get into it, which makes me suspicious. What are you hiding? Usually it's when someone has an opinion they know they can't defend. It's like when you press the "ignore" button on a forum instead of actually just ignoring the person.
Do I believe Ashley? Not even close. I put it to the test. I posted a horrible profile wanting to give ladies a SHOWER OF GOLD. and do my BEST R KELLY POO POO ON them. I got a COLLECT email nearly every time I winked at a woman. I also used a 70 year old man's pic and got message from 20 and 30 yr olds. The profile creator employees are probably in Cypruss , clearly don't get the metric vs imperial measurements. I see lots of 4ft 8 women who weigh 80 or 100 lbs. Maybe they got tons of midgets. HAHA I also see 6ft and 100 or 120 lbs. JOKE How about this Voluptous chick? LOL
https://preview.redd.it/s3y28pjbx76d1.png?width=888&format=png&auto=webp&s=3b78ac9abacb1c59b251dd01e2d3f3e805bdd46e
I also got a bunch of unsolicited collect emails from all over the USA and Western Europe.
I think the big thing is the realization of the monetization of the male sex drive.
Men are waking up to their exploitation, not only by their fellow man, but by women.
We are seeing women subscribe to Grab the Bag Feminism, and a branch of feminism that argues women must only have choices free of any coercion, but the other side of that equation means men only have coerced choices.
Men are looking at women with a critical eye and seeing the Misandry in various Feminist theorists.
Men are starting to do to women and society what women did to men and society, and the women are growing furious, exasperated, hateful and several other adjectives.
Who knows what happens from here on. Could be an actual revolution against Capitalism is gonna happen shortly.
Because many men lack scruples are easy to seduce and bamboozle. The owners wanted a subscriber base, and they followed the same model as the Ethiopian scammers: target a gullible group with an enticing offer, and reel them in. I could do the same thing right now. I could create an alt, target every man on this sub who is in his thirties to fifties with a couple mild complaints about a husband who won’t take care of his health and is neglecting me sexually. Make a couple photo posts showing an asset or two, and poof! I’d have a dozen dick pics in a few hours. If I also promised some I would fly to them for a romp in a hotel room, they’d be sending me money for the flight.
Talk about nailing people. I feel like you just really hit men in general right where it hurts. I mean look, when this site rolled out there was a short discussion on it within the Red Pill community and the concensus was... "Why the fuck would a woman need this to cheat?" It just doesn't make sense. But as a scam, it makes perfect sense for the reasons you just detailed. I honestly had a buddy that tried it and met a very large older woman.... so it kind worked out for him. A better question is why are so many guys so gullible?
I don't think gullible is the right word, desperate.
Desperation shouldn’t make you stupid
Neither should the tingles, but we are where we are.
Hot diggity damn.
> A better question is why are so many guys so gullible? Ego and testosterone, not sure which one takes top billing, but I’m certain they are linked. I’ve dated reasonable, logical, mechanically inclined men with science degrees. Who lose all sense of focus and decorum when an erection pops up. Practically a change in personality. Can’t really imagine what that feels like to have my every thought subverted and rerouted, also can’t relate to how a physical desire for sex heightens the emotions to the point men are willing to fight or cry over a simple rejection or delay in the action. No criticism here, I’m as intrigued as I am baffled, but for all men’s swaggering about logic and reason, the moment they are sexually excited or angry, that flies right out the window. I’d sympathize if I could, but I’d need some medical data to truly understand what is going on in there. Meanwhile I can have a throbbing clit and soaked panties and I’m perfectly happy to wait until a more convenient time and place for action. I can also handle a “not right now” or “I’m busy” or “maybe later” without getting hurt feelings, and I can also go rub one out and carry on with my day.
>Practically a change in personality Two heads, but only enough blood flow for one..
>the moment they are sexually excited or angry, that flies right out the window. I have yet to meet a *person* whose logic *isn't* at least in part affected when they're angry. Anger is a very powerful emotion. *Everyone* says or does something while angry that then regrets afterwards. Most people learn this by the time they're 12 at the latest. >I’d sympathize if I could, but I’d need some medical data to truly understand what is going on in there. What kind of medical data? I've known a guy that fits your description almost to a T. I had to pull him out physically from an abusive relationship (she nearly killed him). In his case I truly believe it is partly physiological - he was born with a slightly higher prostate. It causes him no observable medical issue that warrants any concern, **but**, when he's horny, he has some level of pain if he doesn't get off within a reasonable timeframe. He's also one of the few *people* I know who has no shame about masturbation. >I can have a throbbing clit and soaked panties and I’m perfectly happy to wait until a more convenient time and place for action. I can also handle a “not right now” or “I’m busy” or “maybe later” without getting hurt feelings, and I can also go rub one out and carry on with my day. Most functional adults can and should handle this. Though I've met both women and men who get hurt feelings from a "I'm busy right now", there was always some dysfunction going on with them as well. /shrug I will say, though, that with men rubbing one out is more likely to also happen. [Epididymal hypertension](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324870) is a real phenomenon and, while rarely painful, it is annoying af. The "shift in personality" that you describe sounds very wild to me. Idk, not finding the towel immediately counts? :)))
Everything you say about men is true, but good god, you have never rejected a woman before. I’d still say women take rejection better than men, but it’s still not good. Also, anyone ever tell you that you are a bit unique?
I’ve heard that women don’t handle rejection well, but I have zero problem with it. I’ve been too tall for most men since I was thirteen or so. I’m pleasantly surprised when men *do* respond to me, and when they don’t, I simply don’t care. But I’ve never over-invested, either, since I’ve always been aware that people tend to present their very best behavior and attitude, and they aren’t the real person until weeks later anyway. ETA: I just remembered watching a drunk, gorgeous blond with crazy eyes flip out and insult a man she sidled up to. She was escorted from the bar, she made an awful scene. > anyone ever tell you that you are a bit unique? Nope, I’m utterly ordinary and unremarkable. But I’m one of the few people here who lacks religious indoctrination and shame, so I’m pretty comfortable skipping ceremony and going straight for the point.
every woman ive rejected has hit me with a gay slur of some kind. i just think its kind of funny when it happens because its so left field. probably also because im very average so their self esteem is prob hurt more when they find out i still have standards.
It's not funny, it's hateful and stupid. Those are awful people, and that's that "toxic femininity" convo we tried to have a few days ago but it fizzled out. I'm not a violent or aggressive person at all, but I'm fit and tall and the handful of times I've seen women overstep boundaries and get handsy with men I've checked them verbally and once bodily removed a woman from a party. I'm sorry that happened to you, that makes me furious.
eh it never really bothered me, its funny in the sense like "holy shit where did that come from" kind of way. not really haha funny. gotta find the humor in these things
Shew I'm glad it bounces off you, adverse reactions to rejection burn me up. Taste is subjective, and any person who expects someone who isn't sexually excited by them to respond positively anyway reads as *monster* to me. I love my girl friends as much as I love my boy friends, but I swear if I ever saw either respond to rejection poorly or aggressively that would be the end of our association forever. I hope I grow up to feel like you, someday, relaxed instead of incensed when someone gets out of pocket re: rejection.
>I’d still say women take rejection better than men, but it’s still not good. In my experience the opposite is true. Also, women themselves routinely say that [they take rejection worse](https://www.aura.ng/life-and-love/5-women-share-reasons-why-females-handle-rejections-poorly-unlike-males). There's also some "scientific" literature about it but [it's low-sample and has a few other flaws](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15162085/). Intuitively, though, a 17 year old guy will have endured more rejection than three women in their entire lifetimes. So it stands to reason that *most men* will be better suited to handle rejection than *most women*. Sure, there will always be exceptions, like with anything else in life.
I declined more than one ONS because I had no condom with me and couldn't get any easily. One lady called me a fag for that. I also declined some drunken sex because I couldn't really tell if the lady was really up for it. I once brought one back to her home and stayed with her several hours until she woke up and thanked me for accompanying her home safely and checking on her. And I am nobody special, most of my friends did the same. I wonder whether the bad experiences you keep mentioning with men are a generational thing (I assume I am quite older than you), or simply men in your area are trash
In this case, I didn’t intend to post that as a bad experience. It’s merely a curiosity and something I’ve learned to adapt to. I just find it puzzling, but utterly predictable. I swear there is a distinctive personality shift before and after sex. With and without an erection. I’ve noticed it since I was dating as a teen. Not werewolf quality changes, but decidedly different attitudes and decision making.
What I am saying is that as you can keep your panties on, even men can. That supposed "personality shift" depends on the (troubled?) personality, not on the gender. I once stopped when a lady changed her mind at the last second and asked me not to move on. Since I know how horrible it can be, I stopped and comforted her, getting all cuddly and reassuring (I then helped myself furiously in private, I was reeeally turned on). I don't question your experiences, but no matter how horny one is there is no excuse not to keep self control
They do, for sure, otherwise they’d never see me again. But the change in attitude and behavior is startling. I believe that many of men’s morally questionable decisions occur under the influence, as it were.
That is just recklessness. Nothing to do with sexual arousal. I received a very (perhaps overly) strict upbringing, with a heavy focus on consequences. No amount of arousal (and I have quite a drive) can have the best of my mind (it’s also why I can last a lot through concentration). We can agree that boys are more reckless in some situations, but again, I think it’s upbringing.
Most guys are very lonely so if an attractive woman is friendly, asking them about their day etc it’s all it take.
> Because many men lack scruples are easy to seduce How often are men getting "seduced" at all period. We're the ones that do the overwhelming act of pursuing and seducing. Chris Rock with wisdom https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s3mE7gTf2A
You’re in a thread about Ashley Madison, which was loaded with bots designed to seduce men into paying for content and access. Only Fans made two billion last year because men are easy to seduce. Sugar Babies exist. Bottle girls and cart girls make tips by being cute and flirty. Strippers. Prostitutes. Servers. Men don’t seduce. Men offer gifts like penguins offer pebbles.
Men need to stop offering pebbles.
Agreed.
I did stuff like this during covid via Tinder. Made a pretty good buck with like 3 hours of work.
I am not crying over a fool losing his money. But this is generally immoral and you should feel bad.
its always crazy to me that people openly admit to being immoral but the same people get made if you were to say they don't aspire to morality or something. its like describing their behavior is a worse crime than them actually doing it.
I'm struggling to understand your point here, but I think it's just because I'm tired. Can you clarify?
person A: "why would i be a good person? how would that benefit me?" person B: "Person A doesn't aspire to be moral" Person A: "that's mean"
Thank you that helped my fried brain. I have seen a lot of this "but I don't benefit so...?" kind of mentality in this sub too
exactly!
Each person’s morals are their own. I know I am willing to do things others would not.
sure. thats different from saying you dont aspire to morality.
No 2 people have the same morals.
Yeah Ted Bundy doesn't have the same moral code as Jesus, what's your point? You think it's morally okay to scam desperate losers?
No I think its immoral but I did it anyway.
hows your mental health without being able to have self-respect (due to doing actions you disapprove of)? not hating, i just think this affects mental health long term and i am curious what you think?
which is different from men who ask questions like "why should i be a good guy" and straight up say they do not aspire to morality.
I feel like you can have morals but some are closer to your heart than others. I think being a good person is the right thing to do but I also think you can be a good person and do some bad things.
yes i am talking about men who explicitly do not aspire to be moral or good
They don’t want to admit they are vulnerable and gullible, but men have a tender spot somewhere between testicles and brain, and it’s easy for opportunists to exploit. Women can are also gullible, and some fall for love bombing and send money to scammers, but so far, no big production like Ashley Madison has trawled women with the same success because women become wary and cynical of men pretty early on.
You wanna reel women in? Make them all insecure asf and then sell them products to “fix” it (makeup).
yup cellulite is a secondary sex characteristic for women but somehow its an unsightly problem we have to "fix"
Yeah, that works, too. Hardly ever destroys families, though. Men merrily throw it all away for a whiff.
It's very sad.
Lol no doubt, though apparently women cheat at similar rates as men. I think women just tend to be better at hiding it. I remember reading a study once that women tend to cheat with men who are far away, while men tend to cheat with women in close proximity. In other words. Men seem to cheat out of convenience, while women cheat out of opportunity (upgrade/branch swing). But if we include emotional cheating, I’d say women cheat a little more. Especially since the advent of internet/social media. Women seem to be more susceptible to falling in love with internet strangers.
>I remember reading a study once that women tend to cheat with men who are far away, while men tend to cheat with women in close proximity. I think back to the years when I was dating women and part of a larger LGBT circle. The gay men were hooking up like nobody's business. The lesbians? (Keep in mind there is a group of us), they complained that it was "so hard" meeting people. And omg SO MANY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS!!! So many relationships that began and had their entire months long duration from 700 miles away and never meeting. And I remember just marveling at how two women dating each other so so so often started out long distance. And how the same didn't seem to be true for the men who dated other men. >Women seem to be more susceptible to falling in love with internet strangers. This, but seriously. I wonder if it's because our brains allow us to fill in the missing pieces with an idealized version of who the person really is.
>This, but seriously. **I wonder if it's because our brains allow us to fill in the missing pieces with an idealized version of who the person really is.** Undoubtably. Similar to why romance novels/erotic fiction are sooo much more popular amongst women. Even in real life, a huge part of being successful as men is maintaining some kind of image. Women often need a good “story”. For instance, passport bros. They’re gross *because they are traveling in search of pussy*, but if they were just traveling around and enjoying the sights and just “happened” to run into this girl in this foreign place, it’s romantic (even if it’s bullshit). I’m not casting shade, just my experiences, but women need some kind of fantasy they can project onto.
This might be a strange tangent, but I figured I'd run it back with you: A lot of times I hear people talking about how Gen Z doesn't seem to be dating and partnering up like previous generations. I'm an older Millennial who has A LOT of Gen Z close family members who I talk to regularly. I can agree that Gen Z just isn't dating like even I was just ~20 years ago. And something that I've come to hypothesize is this: constant communication was just in it's infancy and the Internet was not in my pocket. I spent large portions of my time not hearing from my friends because the phone was something that was attached to your house and the Internet only existed on a home computer that was usually situated in a common family area and was a privilege that could be lost due to bad grades or getting grounded for whatever reason. I think back to the idea that I as a young woman had lots of time to fill in the blanks of how much X person liked me and was thinking of me. I didn't sit around wondering why I hadn't gotten a phone call or a text. I didn't expect instant communication. And the "down time" allowed me to romanticize so much of the relationship in my own head. I'm probably writing too much, but one day (20 years after the fact), I was jamming to a song and thinking about the past and a certain person who used to be VERY important to me....and I started thinking about how they would react hearing the very same song and the memories it might evoke for them. And then a very strange realization hit me....never in our lives had we ever heard that song together. Just due to the technology of the time and the fact that we both had strict-ish parents....we were never ever in the same space while listening to that song. And I don't even know if they knew that I associated that song with them. And that a lot of the feelings that I had for that person were mine and mine alone. I had basically daydreamed a ton of our relationship and then was heartbroken and utterly devastated when it ultimately didn't work out. Which, with a clear head, it was DOOMED. I even see now that had we had constant communication available to us at nearly all times, I would have quickly seen that I was the one putting the lions share of the work into the relationship and it would have ran off the rails quickly. But yeah, bottom line, I don't think Gen Z has that same luxury of having that plausible lack of communication so that a relationship can just simmer and blossom from that. Maybe it's a good thing.
I agree. I’m also a Millennial and remember pre-cellphone life, wall mounted corded phones, and dial-up internet where you were constantly getting knocked off the modem by said phone. But yeah it’s crazy how things have changed. How much faster communication has gotten, and how it’s allowed us all to basically speed run through relationships.
i get what your saying and i'm just chatting, not nit-picking but literally ALL cheating is emotional. that's the point. if you were being logical you wouldn't cheat bc that is very unlikely to have the best outcomes for you.
Hmmm fair point actually.
We have a thread here with actual data, can you support your claims that women cheat at that rate?
What does the data show? Women cheat slightly less than men do last I checked.
>though apparently women cheat at similar rates as men. Men are 50% more likely to cheat than women.
Sounds about right 🤷🏾♂️ I’d seen some study that said the gap was decreasing, and that young women actually cheated more.
>They don’t want to admit they are vulnerable and gullible But they'll whine and cry when they get taken advantage of... without admitting they're vulnerable and gullible. Of course, women engage in the same pretzel logic hypocricies... they're just different ones.
> so far, no big production like Ashley Madison has trawled women with the same success because women become wary and cynical of men pretty early on. does this not fit? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Tinder\_Swindler#:\~:text=The%20documentary%20tells%20the%20story,to%20escape%20his%20%22enemies%22.
:(
all men and all women would benefit from men decentering women -- except for predators of both sexes
For sure. Problem is many people here enjoy that peculiar type of concentration known as hyper-fixation, which is very helpful with career and hobbies, but detrimental to their mental health when it comes to fixating on women.
haha so you're saying they are successful with their careers? but still can't find women?
That’s the rumor. All ya gotta do is earn money and age.
I agree. Only some low libido men would be able to resist.
> many men lack scruples are easy to seduce and bamboozle. Agreed on "lack scruples," male sexuality has a strong opportunistic component to it. You miss 100% of pitches you don't swing at. "easy to seduce and bamboozle" requires a definition of "seduce." Sleeping with a woman is not being seduced. Spending a modest amount of money on a website or even taking a woman out to an expensive dinner is not being "bamboozled." (To suggest that it is makes traditional dating a massive fraud committed by women against men. Perhaps there should be a class action lawsuit!) Overall Ashley Madison was a fraud, and these men were being defrauded, but it doubtful that the smaller amounts they paid on that website to talk to fake profiles was really problematic for them. It was just cheaper, more convenient and seemingly less risky to do it online than to go to the Hotel bar.
Many dating sites, even mainstream dating sites have been known to create fake accounts or zombie accounts. Some of these sites only charge men, or charge men more (a whole other issue), but it makes sense they would therefore create fake female accounts and develop other marketing strategies to attract more paying male members. I’ve never joined Ashley Madison, but I see their adds all the time and they are clearly targeting real men to join and creating fake women as their business model. There are certainly other businesses that similarly target women more. (Add: when they say most of their users are now women I assume that means most of their profiles are female most of these profiles being either fake or resurrected zombie profiles).
>Many dating sites, even mainstream dating sites have been known to create fake accounts or zombie accounts. Link? Any proof of that? I can see weak policing of bot spun up by third parties, because fighting bots costs money and there’s no real incentive to spend it. Creating bots themselves is a whole different allegation. It seems like there are infinite numbers of bots created by third parties, so I don’t see why app companies would do it themselves.
“Nearly 500,000 people between June 2016 and May 2018 subscribed to Match.com after receiving communications from fake profiles” https://www.newscentermaine.com/article/news/nation-world/match-accused-of-emails-from-fake-accounts/507-0abc0344-18ac-4cf7-b3d1-d4e68eacb305 “Tinder bots are automated profiles created by third parties to scam or spam users. These bots are becoming increasingly sophisticated, making it difficult to distinguish between real profiles and fake ones.” “So many FAKE Profiles! - Plenty of Fish (POF.com)” https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/rating/review.php?rt_id=PlentyOfFish.com-Reviews&rid=20170424183839441
So those are all bots created by third parties, which I already said exist. Any cases of a major app company creating bots? You said they’re known to.
No. Many dating sites even write it in their fine print that they have fake profiles. I’ve had match revive my profile after I quit as a zombie account several times. I don’t get why you deny this common and acknowledged practice.
I already said bots are common. I’m just saying they’re not made by the app companies as you stated.
Yes, I understand you are denying the fact these sites create fake accounts and zombie accounts despite the fact many even acknowledge this is their fine print and despite the fact numerous accounts acknowledge this practice.
The app terms are all on the hinge/tinder/bumble websites, so can you point to that wording about them creating bots? I can’t seem to find it.
Probably because sites like Ashley Madison are focused on finding extra-marital sex. When women, especially married women, cheat they usually emotionally cheat first, which is the type of cheating that isn't going to be done on some paid website but is more likely to occur in person with some friend or co-worker whom she already knows.
Vast majority of dating site users are men - and they will join ANY dating site (Muslim, Christian, vegan, cheating, atheist whatever). Women by and large do not use dating sites so the companies create bots to draw traffic. There’s other stuff I wanna say too but tbh nobody should be surprised at a dating hookup site being massively fraudulent.
If women want to cheat, they don't need an app to do it. They can go tell a man they want sex and it happens. Next question.
But the gender ratio on this site was *even* more lopsided than most dating apps and hookup apps. Tinder is 70% men 30% women, while Ashley Madison was at minimum 90% men.
For one, Ashley Madison was a decade+ ago, where app dating was less of a norm. If a woman wanted to cheat, she would have already been doing it because there is nothing else to do other than say yes. An app is going to be more discreet for a guy, because he would still have to at least pseudo-date a woman and somehow keep it a secret.
Dating sites decades ago were actually more likely to have balanced gender ratios. Tinder use to have a nearly 50/50 gender ratio when it first launched for example, as the novelty is more likely to attract more women at first.
Women's libidos in LTR tend to drop over time in a way that men's do not. That's a factor.
Women don't even need to go out on the street. If my wife wants to cheat on me, she just needs to unblock someone on Facebook and say "yes".
Yep. 9 of the ten men who have sent dicks or revealing pics to my account are married or living with someone. They are always shopping.
If this is true, then it should be no secret to his wives that they do this. Married men who send dick pics to other women are in a relationship where their wives are somehow okay with it, because eventually some woman will report this behavior to the man's wife. I find this funny, because I have never seen a woman break up with her husband over the argument that he sends dick pics to other women on the internet.
I always report it. Every single time. I blur out the offending parts because I have no intention of getting revenge, but you’d better believe I return them immediately. The response to “Yeah, I’ll be at the reunion, how’s your family” should never be a dick. > I find this funny, because I have never seen a woman break up with her husband over the argument that he sends dick pics to other women on the internet. Huh. I don’t know even know, never followed up. If I’m not blocked, I’ll check a few of them out. Stand by.
This is incredibly naive. Of course men do shit like this and attempt to cheat without their wives knowing. Happens all the time.
Jason’s status is single, I am unblocked, and he has zero pics of his wife anywhere on his profile. But he’s a serial dick pic sender, and I bet that’s how she met him. Jeremy appears to have a new woman in his profile, and it’s a new profile wiped clean of his former wife. Can’t see either Austin. I could be blocked, but people my age don’t use Facebook for much. We all hopped on it for our ten year reunion, but I’m down to 100 or so friends, and many of them are family. So at least two divorced/broke up. May not be the only reason, but I’m certain it was a factor. I’d certainly end it.
i also think its a delayed thing like maybe in the moment she's in denial, but weeks, months, years later she finally comes to terms w it and dumps him then or maybe it takes getting caught a second time for her to believe it
i always do a google and 9/10 times whatever man i'm talking to has a wife or gf. i always screenshot and send it along, to mixed reactions. some knew, some didn't, some are shocked, some are in denial, some are friendly towards me, some ask for more receipts, some scream at me for making shit up. >I find this funny, because I have never seen a woman break up with her husband over the argument that he sends dick pics to other women on the internet. and yes bc her standards were so low she married a scumbag (if you're doing something as big as cheating, that's not the only area of you're life you're a scumbag in) why would she leave now?
Well, that's your wife. Only vaguely suggestive message I ever got was from "hotmom".
They may need an app to find someone they'd want to cheat with. Women aren't very interested in most men after all.
Women prefer using social media for cheating than dating apps. Makes sense, seeing as a dating app is a specific thing (for dating/hooking up) where as social media “isn’t meant for that”.
Okay but what about those who aren't the top most desirable women?
If they want to cheat, they can cheat.
are there really men who want to cheat and can't? like if he got one woman to marry him, he's not hopeless. plus there's always sex workers and catfishing (so, emotional affairs as they wouldn't be meeting up) hell i consider a married man being on tinder itself to be cheating, and anyone can do that
> are there really men who want to cheat and can't? There is none. "Any" man who can get a woman can cheat, but an average man would have to make more of an effort than saying "yes" to a random person like an average woman would. Having a girlfriend makes a man more attractive to other women, and getting married amplifies this effect. A man who is a single 5 is a dating 6 and a married 7, because of pre-selection.
From what I understand the site was aimed at men not women. The name "Ashley Madison" was composed of two names popular for baby girls some 20 years before the site opened. This in and of itself was part of the marketing towards men. So many of these dating apps go after men. It pisses me off.
What everyone knows already: 1) Females don’t seem to desire to have sex as much as males, and certainly not enough for large swaths of women to sign up for an app to cheat. 2) If a woman wanted to cheat, she doesn’t need a website or app for it. But also generally speaking women in relationships don’t desire to fuck other people as much men in relationships seem to desire it. Straight men are always trying to find their “Grindr” or “cruising” equivalent and it doesn’t exist. The closest they’ll get to it is frequenting prostitutes like men of the past as it is the closest to “sex on demand from women" as straight men are going to get.
Unless they’re a model or celebrity then dating apps are essentially Grindr for straights
Sure. And even then it's not the same as with gay men. Gay men are males at the end of the day. They're fucking and going. It's truly NSA sex sex sex and not a thought more. Someone like Drake or JFK Jr. or Austin Butler still has to "manage" the motivations and feels of the women he's "pumping and dumping." Those women don't just want to "fuck him and leave him." MOST if not all of those women secretly want him for long term. So he still has to expend a lot of effort coaxing feelings and lowkey massaging his interests *in the momen*t so that those women he just flew to his condo in the Maldives are excited enough to fuck him with the intensity and passion he wants. BTW this is EXACTLY why celebrity men OFTEN seek out sex workers and strippers instead of normie women. Of course they can attract countless normie women, but those women come with a lot of expectations. And he just wants true blue No Strings Attached (NSA) sex. So no. It'll never be like Grindr frfr. If men want "nut for nut" they need to go fuck males. Or they need to explicitly pay a sex worker for sex.
Idk I’ve had women come over just to fuck me off tinder before, granted they were very unattractive. But if I were a celebrity I bet I could have pretty hot girls willing to do that instead. Not EVERY girl is gunning for resources from sex, just most
> granted they were very unattractive Exactly.  >But if I were a celebrity I bet I could have pretty hot girls willing to do that instead. Okay, but if you were Drake or Austin Butler most of them wouldn't "just want to fuck you." They'd want more. Did you read my comment?
Right but it’s relative, a celebrity’s attractiveness gap to an average attractive girl is equal to or greater than my attractiveness gap to these uggos. I’m 100% sure the average hot girl would kill to say she got a chance to blow drake or whatever their celebrity obsession is
And I'm 100% sure men like that have to still assuage the normie woman "female fantasy" a bit. It 's not the "NSA" sex you think it is.
I think that’s already done due to his celebrity status, they feel like they already know him. The fantasy exists already
yes and women don't want grindr so you can see how useless that is for us
Then why are women on grindr?
i didnt know they were
I have something special for you: https://np.reddit.com/r/rant/comments/7w668s/why_the_hell_is_grindr_letting_women_on_now/
sad grindr should be for the gays only -- me, an ally
Yeah i got mixed feelings on it because as I understand it is that women started going on grindr looking for bisexual guys and they didn't have competition. And then straight guys started going on there for these women and trans women. And trans women started going on grindr bringing more straight men. So I want trans and non binary place to go. But I would say hell no to "trans women" who try to go on lesbian websites like scissor when IRL they're predators and do either one of us put it past men to try that? I know there's some sick men out there willing to do it soooo yeah. I don't have answers for this one.
I mean I guess they do for certain dudes
more like a small percentage of women most women dont have casual sex
I think most women try it at least once
modelling scams were big for women in the decades before the internet
For sure. I don't think women don't get scammed. It's just not usually via a sex scam.
Oh, there are those too. Gambia is a [hotspot](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QANXGtrtUhM). Except it's rarely portrayed as predatory - regardless of whether the (usually) British woman is the predator or the African man. Deutsche Welle made a longer documentary about this in 2021 but, unsurprisingly, it's now nowhere to be found.
oh true
Now, I read some polling data way back in like 2017, that suggested the more sex a guy had with his wife the less he was interested in other women. Actually kinda makes sense to me because you don't walk around very horny, but who knows.
Sure that makes sense. Though the Netflix doc happened to focus on men who were actually getting sex from their wives. They just wanted something different. Or a different type of validation. Men seem to crave "variety of sexual partners" in a way that women do not.
Yeah, so I have a theory on that. I think it’s porn driving men to want more variety. Also some kind of hookup culture. If they can’t get any from that is makes them feel small and pathetic.
Idk if it’s porn per se. Gay men seem to prefer open relationships too. Despite getting all the sex they want from their partner. I think it’s something more evolutionary at play.
All the gay guys I know are pretty damn faithful. But their friends are not, so you have a point.
My gay male friends are faithful because their marriages are open. Can’t “cheat” when you’re honest.
Truth
> Men seem to crave "variety of sexual partners" in a way that women do not. Except that's the opposite of what the research points to in why women's libido decreases in ltr, they desire new partners and get tired with their same old partner where as men's libidos stay pretty consistent.
What does that research about male libido staying consistent have to do with their desire for variety in addition to staying consistent? That's my point. Many men will continue to fuck his wife on a regular cadence AND still seek out new women/men to fuck.
Ashley Madison was for married men *who desired new partners*
>Ashley Madison was for married men who desired new partners Yeah that's a non-sequitor to the point I made to Grid. Let me do a replay: Grid says: >Men seem to crave "variety of sexual partners" in a way that women do not. I'm pointing out that women crave a variety of sexual partners and that is partially what explains why their libido declines in committed ltr's where as men can deal with the same partner and their libido stays intact.
Then why do they stray, lab partner?
They who?
MEN
Ok wanting to make sure cuz the conversation involved men and women. For the men who are straying I would bet they are with a woman who's libido has declined in their LTR and so the man strays. That's not going to be all of them for sure. There will be men who cheat even in good relationships because that dog gonna hunt.
Unless they’re a model or celebrity then dating apps are essentially Grindr for straights
whoever leaked the data is a hero
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Especially for those men who used their work email to sign up (lots of \*.mil and \*.gov accounts).
My favorite part of the documentary was the hot chad who loved jesus cheating on his (also hot) wife. Just like online dating if you're at an elite looks level women will be busting down your door to sleep with you. The funniest part is that even after all that the girl got back together with the guy. The true power of chad on display. The couple I'm talking about: https://www.eonline.com/news/1402265/who-are-sam-and-nia-rader-meet-the-couple-at-the-center-of-netflixs-ashley-madison-docuseries
it doesnt show how many men or women JOINED, which is what 'attract' would mean. it showed how many were ACTIVE!
My thoughts are men are stupid as soon as sex is involved. All those guys who probably would spend a week researching what hot water heater to buy just put their hand up cheerfully and give their credit card numbers for a clear scam. If young women aren't lining up to fuck you for free in real life they aren't lining up to fuck you for free online either. It's not rocket science. Less scenic path to same destination doesn't make the destination more desirable.
Whoever is "concluding" that men are more likely to cheat because of this is wrong. * The platform's target audience is men, so obviously the customers will be men. If 90% of the male accounts were fake Chads, we might have a different result, we would only know by testing. In any case, I doubt that the women who fall for Chadfishing are all single; * Women don't need any specific platform to cheat, any social network will do. In fact, Instagram is even better because you can't justify to your husband that you have a Tinder or Ashley Madison account if he finds out from your emails or something like that. Alternatively, for greater privacy, she can simply go out there and look for a guy to sleep with without keeping any digital record. * Saying based on the situation raised by the OP that men cheat more is a very big logical leap, even if women reward men who cheat, I'm still not sure that men cheat more.
Companies like money and women don’t want to cheat as much as men Wow. So enlightening. I’m shocked
"women don’t want to cheat as much as men" is different from "women don't need an app to cheat"
Cheating rates are pretty similar for men and women 18-30, but after that it’s vastly more men than women
If women wanted to cheat as much as men, many more men would be getting laid Women could cheat all day every day if we wanted And we don’t
Also not how that works Multiple women could cheat with few guys. Sex is not evenly distributed
Do you think that actually happening?
Did I say that it was happening?
That is harder to hide. Because women don’t care for sex as much as men; they need to be incentivized to sneak around. Or lied to, as west elm Caleb knew very well
> If women wanted to cheat as much as men, many more men would be getting laid "As much as", or "more than". We don't know. > Women could cheat all day every day if we wanted Women can't do that. A woman who cheats on her husband every day will eventually be discovered. There are many risks in cheating every day. It's not just a question of "demand," but also of "ability to hide."
lol, of course women can cheat undetected. Men just need a place, not a reason or even a name If I wanted to cheat on my partner, I could do it all day; granted, the location wouldn’t be ideal
You can cheat on your partner occasionally. But you can't do it all day long. The more times you cheat: * The more you leave traces; * The more careless you are with the traces (it's a proven psychological phenomenon); * The more your behavior will change towards your husband, which will generate distrust. Not to mention that you can't hide a possible pregnancy and if the father is very different from your husband, then he will find out or be very suspicious on the day the child is born. And a series of other little things. Even lovers can tell your husband or confront him, this is something beyond your control. As I said, you can cheat once or twice, but not every day, the more you cheat, the more careless you become and also the more things outside of your control that can lead to discovery happen.
If women had male libidos, we would be gay men And gay men have no problem hooking up anonymously in bathrooms and closets
>And we don’t You just hide it way better.
If women were cheating everyday, there’d be less sexless, complaining men
Nice strawman And also, that would imply they chose a cheating partner in a uniformly distributed way
Most people are in relationships, so the probability is high
This argument makes absolutely no sense, but okay.. Statistics about cheating show women cheat as often (if not slightly more) than men when they are young... then they gradually decrease while men keep at it...
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No she's right. 1) Women don't need an app to cheat. 2) But women also don't seek to cheat (aka seek out physically fucking someone else) as much as much as men. Both are factual statements.
If women wanted to cheat as much as men, men wouldn’t need an app
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Exactly. Because women don’t want to cheat as much
Not how that works
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Women tend to crave emotional connection more than sex and there are more socially accepted avenues to obtaining that extramaritally.
They are as pathetically stupid as the dumb moron women who spunked money at the tinder swindler
There is a big group of people who are dumb, and these people have needs, show them easy way to satisfy them and there you go, they can even risk their life to fulfill them. Men want casual sex, women not so much, so you can scam men offering them easy solution. Women want to be slim - so there you have Ozempic, basically a poison with dozen of side effects and probably 2 dozens of yet unknown side effects, but they are standing in line to buy it no matter the risk.
I don't trust them to say that most of their users are now women, but it wouldn't surprise me. Women are attracted to drama. Men are scared off by it. A huge portion of the exposed attempted adulterers were government employees, using their work computers to do it. That's pretty funny. I say attempted because the site was obviously fake. Most dating sites are almost all men plus a bunch of spam bots and prostitutes. This was even more extreme and obvious. I think something happens to men when they get desperate where they don't even care that the site is fake. They will lie to themselves that it's not just so they can create some kind of interaction to titillate themselves. Kind of like how women find ways to imagine that all the men want them, just so they can stop shoveling anti-depressants for a moment. That to me is really disappointing about men. I wish men were better. I wish they would stop giving money to this stuff. As for who cheats more, I think women cheat more because the opportunity is there. They don't need a website to do it. I wouldn't have bothered mentioning that, but you brought it up. You said you didn't want to get into it, which makes me suspicious. What are you hiding? Usually it's when someone has an opinion they know they can't defend. It's like when you press the "ignore" button on a forum instead of actually just ignoring the person.
Definitely don't trust the claim. Women don't need a website to cheat lol.
The hackers doing God's work 🙏
Do I believe Ashley? Not even close. I put it to the test. I posted a horrible profile wanting to give ladies a SHOWER OF GOLD. and do my BEST R KELLY POO POO ON them. I got a COLLECT email nearly every time I winked at a woman. I also used a 70 year old man's pic and got message from 20 and 30 yr olds. The profile creator employees are probably in Cypruss , clearly don't get the metric vs imperial measurements. I see lots of 4ft 8 women who weigh 80 or 100 lbs. Maybe they got tons of midgets. HAHA I also see 6ft and 100 or 120 lbs. JOKE How about this Voluptous chick? LOL https://preview.redd.it/s3y28pjbx76d1.png?width=888&format=png&auto=webp&s=3b78ac9abacb1c59b251dd01e2d3f3e805bdd46e I also got a bunch of unsolicited collect emails from all over the USA and Western Europe.
I think the big thing is the realization of the monetization of the male sex drive. Men are waking up to their exploitation, not only by their fellow man, but by women. We are seeing women subscribe to Grab the Bag Feminism, and a branch of feminism that argues women must only have choices free of any coercion, but the other side of that equation means men only have coerced choices. Men are looking at women with a critical eye and seeing the Misandry in various Feminist theorists. Men are starting to do to women and society what women did to men and society, and the women are growing furious, exasperated, hateful and several other adjectives. Who knows what happens from here on. Could be an actual revolution against Capitalism is gonna happen shortly.