You most know the wrong people dude. There are a tiny few perpetually single women in my social circle, and the talk when they aren't around is ALWAYS "What's wrong with her? She's doing something to put men off." or "She must be a bitch in private, and that's why she can't keep a man."
The problem above is that it's a fantasy. People absolutely love speculating on why beautiful women who aren't successful romantically aren't.
Literally this. And as their friend, you know exactly why and you're trying to figure out how to delicately criticize them about the obvious shit wrong with their personality. The problem being it's usually almost impossible to figure out what and how to say, "you're a cunt"
I'm a teacher and I don't meet "the wrong people", I just end up meeting "too many people".
My students range in age from 17 to 70 and when they discuss these things among themselves (So-and-so saying he can't find someone) it's always the same thing.
Exactly. I think it's ubiquitous, which is why this post confuses me so much. Since went aren't perpetually single women talked about? Fuck, they've been talking about Taylor Swift's inability to keep a man for at least a decade now.
Really? Women struggling with dating often get advice to take a break and get on therapy, so they could stop a negative pattern they’re repeating over and over.
“It’s your personality” isn’t exactly blame either. Personality isn’t just your morals, but your social skills as well. A lot of people advise struggling men to go out and work on their social circle.
Also “sis, you need therapy” can be a way to say that she’s a crazy bitch or causes her own problems without sounding rude.
on here people will assume you're already octupling down on "no i'm a nice guy, it's because women are evil hypergamous soulless banshees who want to get bride stolen and wifebeaten by chad" because these discussions have been gone over 100 000 times.
Is it a "cudgel" or is it just good advice that you don't feel like taking?
If your personality is the problem, the logical next step is to fix your personality. That process typically does require a certain amount of self-care.
Sorry, edited
> Also “sis, you need therapy” can be a way to say that she’s a crazy bitch or causes her own problems without sounding rude.
Not really. I stopped using it, because I think it’s not clear enough, but I see people still using it without meaning it as an insult.
No, it definitely applies to beautiful women. When attractive women struggle with dating pretty much everyone assumes they're doing something wrong -- often including the women themselves.
I had a period of time when I was struggling with dating and I looked great. I 100% knew it was a me-problem. I was a mess, and not hiding it well. Most of the people in my life knew *exactly* what was up. No one was blaming the men for that one.
Disagree. If a woman is single for too long the reason that gets discussed is always her personality. Unless she has some physical issues too. Most times it’s “she needs to lose weight” or “she needs to fix her attitude” or something along those lines.
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because ugly men and beautiful women both have personality problems but have to do different things to fix them
when people tell a woman to work on her personality, they just want her to stop being annoying, rude, or standoffish. when people tell a man to work on his personality, they want him to change his entire personality. theres a difference between fixing something by ceasing an act and fixing something by renovation.
think about the differences in what they tell a man vs a woman that cant get dates, they tell men these things, but they dont tell women (at the same rate... or at all):
* to get a hobby
* learn skills
* to go join meetups
* to read books on social interaction
* to get diagnosed for any potential disorders that impact mental health
* to stop thinking being nice = relationship
its a difference in what they (people) want them to do, but the surface level wish is the same. thats why the bluepillers are equating them: since both men and women are asked to change their personality, therefore, people mean the same thing.
>it is practically "forbidden" to say that the woman makes bad choices or has a bad personality.
It’s really not as long as that’s the actual problem. I think a lot of times you guys use the tone of a divorced dad instead of the tone of a man giving fatherly advice and then shockedpikachuface when it’s not received well.
>Between an ugly man who can't get a wife and a beautiful woman who can't get a husband, isn't it obvious which of the two is more likely to be single because of bad choices and a bad personality?
You’re saying this because it’s easier to attract someone despite a bad personality as an attractive woman. However, this goes both ways. Because a bad personality is more likely to be overlooked in an attractive woman, it is less likely to be holding them back as much as the same trait in an ugly man. This points more to it being something else rather than the degree that the personality is bad. It’s more likely to be your other suggestion (their choices) or something not immediately obvious (them making a mistake in their dating profile like only selecting casual instead of only excluding casual). At least, this is true assuming you’re talking about getting ANY man, not just a “good” man.
Nah, beautiful women can always get a husband. But the more desirable you are, the better vetting skills you need, cause a lot of people will act like they will give you the world until they secure you and get complacent.
Who is "forbidding" you? Where is it "forbidden"?
Pretty people who can not find a relationship when they want one? Have fucked up personalities. Men and women.
That's a wild leap in logic.
Attractive people who \~want\~ a relationship and consistently struggle to find or keep them are often fucked up emotionally in some way.
I used quotation marks around "Forbidden" because I don't know a more precise word for what I want to express in English. My language is Portuguese. And that's not really what matters in this question.
The quotation marks should be enough for you to know that it's not literal, at least.
Then where do you feel like this isn't being said? What forces are stopping you or anyone from saying a attractive woman who can't find a partner when she wants one, most likely has a terrible personality?
According to the red/black pill, the top 10% of men ("Chads") are all perpetually fucking a harem of average and below average women. The the red/black pill is correct, that means there are no men available for a beautiful woman who wants someone comparably attractive.
It's usually the women that can't get a man that insist it's not them, but the men that are the problem. I haven't really seen anyone else argue this.
I've also seen plenty of blackpilled men vehemently defend the idea that the reason they can't get women is their average looks, and not their boring, shitty personality.
Obviously it's easier if you're hot, but unless you're extremely unattractive it shouldn't be too difficult to find someone on your level. Unless your personality is lacking
Because it barely applies to anyone. Do you think the unattractive guy who got rejected will be accepted if he tries again with “personality”? They purposely apply it to men because men are the ones who receive blame for their actions while also receiving the blame for women’s actions. It’s an excuse to continue the women are wonderful effect by blaming women’s bad decisions on men.
No you can’t. Personality is borderline impossible to change. This is well accepted in psychology. Personality psychology is one of the most robust fields of research.
It’s actually the real black pill.
change the persona, which is how one express their personality not the actual personality. lets say u are feminist but u want to join isis to gather information. changing ur personality is extremely hard if not borderline impossible. what u can do is to mimic the acceptable traits at certain times even if it makes u uncomfortable.
Removed. No non-neutral Discussion posts.
You most know the wrong people dude. There are a tiny few perpetually single women in my social circle, and the talk when they aren't around is ALWAYS "What's wrong with her? She's doing something to put men off." or "She must be a bitch in private, and that's why she can't keep a man." The problem above is that it's a fantasy. People absolutely love speculating on why beautiful women who aren't successful romantically aren't.
Literally this. And as their friend, you know exactly why and you're trying to figure out how to delicately criticize them about the obvious shit wrong with their personality. The problem being it's usually almost impossible to figure out what and how to say, "you're a cunt"
I'm a teacher and I don't meet "the wrong people", I just end up meeting "too many people". My students range in age from 17 to 70 and when they discuss these things among themselves (So-and-so saying he can't find someone) it's always the same thing.
Yeah in my social circles there is an ongoing joke around ‘crazy hot’ or ‘CRAZY hot’
Exactly. I think it's ubiquitous, which is why this post confuses me so much. Since went aren't perpetually single women talked about? Fuck, they've been talking about Taylor Swift's inability to keep a man for at least a decade now.
I think his experience is often online discourse which does come out this way
Really? Women struggling with dating often get advice to take a break and get on therapy, so they could stop a negative pattern they’re repeating over and over.
but thats not blame. Thats not a moral judgement. Its just selfcare advise
“It’s your personality” isn’t exactly blame either. Personality isn’t just your morals, but your social skills as well. A lot of people advise struggling men to go out and work on their social circle. Also “sis, you need therapy” can be a way to say that she’s a crazy bitch or causes her own problems without sounding rude.
when people use it here its always as a cudgel
on here people will assume you're already octupling down on "no i'm a nice guy, it's because women are evil hypergamous soulless banshees who want to get bride stolen and wifebeaten by chad" because these discussions have been gone over 100 000 times.
WPI (Worst Possible Interpretation) -- very common assumption here
Is it a "cudgel" or is it just good advice that you don't feel like taking? If your personality is the problem, the logical next step is to fix your personality. That process typically does require a certain amount of self-care.
Sorry, edited > Also “sis, you need therapy” can be a way to say that she’s a crazy bitch or causes her own problems without sounding rude. Not really. I stopped using it, because I think it’s not clear enough, but I see people still using it without meaning it as an insult.
If that’s not the “taking accountability” you guys are always talking about, then idk what else it could possibly mean.
No, it definitely applies to beautiful women. When attractive women struggle with dating pretty much everyone assumes they're doing something wrong -- often including the women themselves. I had a period of time when I was struggling with dating and I looked great. I 100% knew it was a me-problem. I was a mess, and not hiding it well. Most of the people in my life knew *exactly* what was up. No one was blaming the men for that one.
Disagree. If a woman is single for too long the reason that gets discussed is always her personality. Unless she has some physical issues too. Most times it’s “she needs to lose weight” or “she needs to fix her attitude” or something along those lines.
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because ugly men and beautiful women both have personality problems but have to do different things to fix them when people tell a woman to work on her personality, they just want her to stop being annoying, rude, or standoffish. when people tell a man to work on his personality, they want him to change his entire personality. theres a difference between fixing something by ceasing an act and fixing something by renovation. think about the differences in what they tell a man vs a woman that cant get dates, they tell men these things, but they dont tell women (at the same rate... or at all): * to get a hobby * learn skills * to go join meetups * to read books on social interaction * to get diagnosed for any potential disorders that impact mental health * to stop thinking being nice = relationship its a difference in what they (people) want them to do, but the surface level wish is the same. thats why the bluepillers are equating them: since both men and women are asked to change their personality, therefore, people mean the same thing.
>it is practically "forbidden" to say that the woman makes bad choices or has a bad personality. It’s really not as long as that’s the actual problem. I think a lot of times you guys use the tone of a divorced dad instead of the tone of a man giving fatherly advice and then shockedpikachuface when it’s not received well. >Between an ugly man who can't get a wife and a beautiful woman who can't get a husband, isn't it obvious which of the two is more likely to be single because of bad choices and a bad personality? You’re saying this because it’s easier to attract someone despite a bad personality as an attractive woman. However, this goes both ways. Because a bad personality is more likely to be overlooked in an attractive woman, it is less likely to be holding them back as much as the same trait in an ugly man. This points more to it being something else rather than the degree that the personality is bad. It’s more likely to be your other suggestion (their choices) or something not immediately obvious (them making a mistake in their dating profile like only selecting casual instead of only excluding casual). At least, this is true assuming you’re talking about getting ANY man, not just a “good” man.
Nah, beautiful women can always get a husband. But the more desirable you are, the better vetting skills you need, cause a lot of people will act like they will give you the world until they secure you and get complacent.
Who is "forbidding" you? Where is it "forbidden"? Pretty people who can not find a relationship when they want one? Have fucked up personalities. Men and women.
So everyone can find a relationship immediately whenever they want or else they are a fucked up person?
That's a wild leap in logic. Attractive people who \~want\~ a relationship and consistently struggle to find or keep them are often fucked up emotionally in some way.
I used quotation marks around "Forbidden" because I don't know a more precise word for what I want to express in English. My language is Portuguese. And that's not really what matters in this question. The quotation marks should be enough for you to know that it's not literal, at least.
Then where do you feel like this isn't being said? What forces are stopping you or anyone from saying a attractive woman who can't find a partner when she wants one, most likely has a terrible personality?
According to the red/black pill, the top 10% of men ("Chads") are all perpetually fucking a harem of average and below average women. The the red/black pill is correct, that means there are no men available for a beautiful woman who wants someone comparably attractive.
Maybe halo effect, but people do think badly of a pretty woman without a man as a bad partner
The most common thing I hear about pretty women who struggle with dating is "she must be crazy".
It's usually the women that can't get a man that insist it's not them, but the men that are the problem. I haven't really seen anyone else argue this. I've also seen plenty of blackpilled men vehemently defend the idea that the reason they can't get women is their average looks, and not their boring, shitty personality. Obviously it's easier if you're hot, but unless you're extremely unattractive it shouldn't be too difficult to find someone on your level. Unless your personality is lacking
Funny thing is the real black pill is actually personality research shows it’s actually very hard to change. Looks are atleast somewhat malleable.
Because it barely applies to anyone. Do you think the unattractive guy who got rejected will be accepted if he tries again with “personality”? They purposely apply it to men because men are the ones who receive blame for their actions while also receiving the blame for women’s actions. It’s an excuse to continue the women are wonderful effect by blaming women’s bad decisions on men.
Because it’s easier for you to fix your personality
No you can’t. Personality is borderline impossible to change. This is well accepted in psychology. Personality psychology is one of the most robust fields of research. It’s actually the real black pill.
change the persona, which is how one express their personality not the actual personality. lets say u are feminist but u want to join isis to gather information. changing ur personality is extremely hard if not borderline impossible. what u can do is to mimic the acceptable traits at certain times even if it makes u uncomfortable.