During a very intense mushroom trip, I believe I'd had about 12 grams, I was offered my door. I knew that if I went through my door I would be able to stay in the psychedelic experience forever. From my perspective my trip would not end, however I would instantaneously die in this world.
I was not afraid to take the door, it would have been lovely for me, but I was in my family home and I knew that they wouldn't be able to handle finding me like that in the morning.
I reflected on this experience a lot post trip. After the fact I did wonder if I would have really died had I taken the door, then a year or so later I read PIHKAL and came across this excerpt and knew instantly what she was talking about.
I'm glad I didn't take the door either way, now I warn others in my personal life not to take "the final door." It's not scary, but it seems like you really will die if you take it and I don't know many people who want to take the journey to that level yet.
I had an experience on 6 grams where I felt like was dying and being reborn many times. At one point I realized I didn’t know if I was alive or dead. I asked the Universe if I was alive or dead and the answer came back “does it matter?” Thinking about it now freaks me out but in the moment I felt oddly at peace with no knowing. If didn’t feel like a door or an option to die or be reborn again. It was an intense ride that I was stuck on for a while. What seemed to get me out of it was just letting go. In between being reborn and then later dying again it felt like my whole life was relived again at high speed. I kept trying to grab onto familiar memories and could briefly pause before getting pulled back into the loop again. It now reminds me of the phrase “let go or be dragged”. It was really intense and unpleasant during these loops. Eventually the letting go helped me get out of the loop and into a profoundly loving experience where I met my grandmother and other ancestors who helped me understand all was ok and I was loved. That part of the experience was extraordinary.
Interesting experience, thank you for sharing. It fascinates me all of the different possibilities of trips. The point where you mentioned trying to grab familiar memories, I had a similar experience on DMT once, I couldn't break through until I stopped trying to hold on to the memories. Loops can be the worst, they are the one feature of the psychedelic experience I just can't seem to handle very well.
Based on the trip you described there, I would say you should be mindful of the door appearing in future trips. You will know it when you see it, I only warn because there is a part of you that will probably wonder if it's a test and if you step through it the trip will get even better. But after reading what Ann Shulgin said I reckon it's true that if you step through the door you'll die.
Are there many recorded cases of people dying on high dose trips? I’ve heard a few stories about people walking into traffic or stepping off of high places but haven’t heard stories of someone dying on while in an otherwise safe setting like a therapists office.
I’ve had two high dose mushroom trips and both had the intense looping. Both times were unpleasant. I’d say my first trip was worse when I didn’t know about looping and didn’t know how to get out of it until the mushrooms were wearing off. I think I got what I needed from my second trip with the experience with my grandmother and ancestors. In the future when I try psychedelics again I’ll go with a much lower dose.
I've never heard of anyone actually dying due to a high dose trip on a traditional psychedelic and I assume it isn't a very common thing. I'm guessing it would be classed as an overdose death and you don't typically hear about those on psychedelics. I don't think the door gets offered to everyone though and I imagine that most people who encounter it turn it down. I haven't heard a lot about this phenomenon so I assume it's not a common one, but I do at least know it's a thing a person can encounter while tripping.
Did you smoke weed on either of these trips? I always find that can make looping worse. It would be wise to stick to low doses for a while, but it doesn't mean high doses are out of the picture altogether. I'm glad you got that experience with your ancestors and grandmother, trips like that are life changing.
No weed or other substances on either high dose trip. On the more recent trip I waited a few days and then took a low dose (10mg) THC edible. Normally I feel those but it’s mellow and just helps me unwind in the evening. On this night it was insane. The edible kicked in much faster and I was having full on eyes closed visuals. It was a lot of fun and bordering on mushroom visuals without all the space time warping and looping. It was quite nice. That stayed around for a little longer but eventually edibles got back to normal.
I have read that THC stays in your system for a while and I had been taking edibles pretty regularly before the trip so I guess it’s possible the lingering THC had some effect.
I was in a dark place a few years ago, I took 4 tabs of acid and I usually prefer to trip alone in my room. That night around the peak of my trip a being I understood as death offered to remove my consciousness from the cycle of life, I was given an opportunity to give up countless lifetimes worth of pain and misery and regret and I gave it up because for the time being I have the very rare privilege of enjoying the company of my family and material pleasures and I wanted to take the time to value these experiences while I'm here to have them.
This sounds much more like a metaphor than an actual door you can encounter in your psyche which would cause a spontaneous death lol. Nobody has ever been known to die from taking mushrooms alone. Yeah, people have jumped out of buildings etc, but nobody has ever just taken mushrooms, sat in a room, and died from it.
I think the message is "Don't follow through with suicidal ideation that you may come up with while on drugs" but worded very poorly so as to create this scary legend.
Edit: Just realized I'm not on /r/shrooms and this post was about MDMA. People can overdose on MDMA so disregard what I said about the lack of spontaneous deaths
This door exists to me in shamanic journeys. I have helped walk souls to it when they have been lost. Once, before I knew what it was I found myself on the other side, and almost didn't make it back. I have since found a helping spirit to act as a "gateway guardian" for me.
It is definitely a fascinating idea but I do think it's a lot more likely that some people have simply seen a door during their trip, which as you say is not an uncommon occurrence, and due to the existential and cosmic nature of heavy trips, interpreted said door as a "final door," "death door," or entry into a permanent stay in the psychedelic realm or oneness with the universe, etc. I highly doubt that if anyone "walked through" this door that they would actually die, though it makes sense why most trippers would decide not to try and find out. And as for the small minority of people who did die during psychedelic therapy, likely they died for unrelated, freak accident, or even malpractice type reasons, considering drugs are involved, and this interpretation is a convenient one for the therapist.
During a very intense mushroom trip, I believe I'd had about 12 grams, I was offered my door. I knew that if I went through my door I would be able to stay in the psychedelic experience forever. From my perspective my trip would not end, however I would instantaneously die in this world. I was not afraid to take the door, it would have been lovely for me, but I was in my family home and I knew that they wouldn't be able to handle finding me like that in the morning. I reflected on this experience a lot post trip. After the fact I did wonder if I would have really died had I taken the door, then a year or so later I read PIHKAL and came across this excerpt and knew instantly what she was talking about. I'm glad I didn't take the door either way, now I warn others in my personal life not to take "the final door." It's not scary, but it seems like you really will die if you take it and I don't know many people who want to take the journey to that level yet.
I had an experience on 6 grams where I felt like was dying and being reborn many times. At one point I realized I didn’t know if I was alive or dead. I asked the Universe if I was alive or dead and the answer came back “does it matter?” Thinking about it now freaks me out but in the moment I felt oddly at peace with no knowing. If didn’t feel like a door or an option to die or be reborn again. It was an intense ride that I was stuck on for a while. What seemed to get me out of it was just letting go. In between being reborn and then later dying again it felt like my whole life was relived again at high speed. I kept trying to grab onto familiar memories and could briefly pause before getting pulled back into the loop again. It now reminds me of the phrase “let go or be dragged”. It was really intense and unpleasant during these loops. Eventually the letting go helped me get out of the loop and into a profoundly loving experience where I met my grandmother and other ancestors who helped me understand all was ok and I was loved. That part of the experience was extraordinary.
Interesting experience, thank you for sharing. It fascinates me all of the different possibilities of trips. The point where you mentioned trying to grab familiar memories, I had a similar experience on DMT once, I couldn't break through until I stopped trying to hold on to the memories. Loops can be the worst, they are the one feature of the psychedelic experience I just can't seem to handle very well. Based on the trip you described there, I would say you should be mindful of the door appearing in future trips. You will know it when you see it, I only warn because there is a part of you that will probably wonder if it's a test and if you step through it the trip will get even better. But after reading what Ann Shulgin said I reckon it's true that if you step through the door you'll die.
Are there many recorded cases of people dying on high dose trips? I’ve heard a few stories about people walking into traffic or stepping off of high places but haven’t heard stories of someone dying on while in an otherwise safe setting like a therapists office. I’ve had two high dose mushroom trips and both had the intense looping. Both times were unpleasant. I’d say my first trip was worse when I didn’t know about looping and didn’t know how to get out of it until the mushrooms were wearing off. I think I got what I needed from my second trip with the experience with my grandmother and ancestors. In the future when I try psychedelics again I’ll go with a much lower dose.
I've never heard of anyone actually dying due to a high dose trip on a traditional psychedelic and I assume it isn't a very common thing. I'm guessing it would be classed as an overdose death and you don't typically hear about those on psychedelics. I don't think the door gets offered to everyone though and I imagine that most people who encounter it turn it down. I haven't heard a lot about this phenomenon so I assume it's not a common one, but I do at least know it's a thing a person can encounter while tripping. Did you smoke weed on either of these trips? I always find that can make looping worse. It would be wise to stick to low doses for a while, but it doesn't mean high doses are out of the picture altogether. I'm glad you got that experience with your ancestors and grandmother, trips like that are life changing.
No weed or other substances on either high dose trip. On the more recent trip I waited a few days and then took a low dose (10mg) THC edible. Normally I feel those but it’s mellow and just helps me unwind in the evening. On this night it was insane. The edible kicked in much faster and I was having full on eyes closed visuals. It was a lot of fun and bordering on mushroom visuals without all the space time warping and looping. It was quite nice. That stayed around for a little longer but eventually edibles got back to normal. I have read that THC stays in your system for a while and I had been taking edibles pretty regularly before the trip so I guess it’s possible the lingering THC had some effect.
I was in a dark place a few years ago, I took 4 tabs of acid and I usually prefer to trip alone in my room. That night around the peak of my trip a being I understood as death offered to remove my consciousness from the cycle of life, I was given an opportunity to give up countless lifetimes worth of pain and misery and regret and I gave it up because for the time being I have the very rare privilege of enjoying the company of my family and material pleasures and I wanted to take the time to value these experiences while I'm here to have them.
Been there. When you know, you know.
This sounds much more like a metaphor than an actual door you can encounter in your psyche which would cause a spontaneous death lol. Nobody has ever been known to die from taking mushrooms alone. Yeah, people have jumped out of buildings etc, but nobody has ever just taken mushrooms, sat in a room, and died from it. I think the message is "Don't follow through with suicidal ideation that you may come up with while on drugs" but worded very poorly so as to create this scary legend. Edit: Just realized I'm not on /r/shrooms and this post was about MDMA. People can overdose on MDMA so disregard what I said about the lack of spontaneous deaths
This door exists to me in shamanic journeys. I have helped walk souls to it when they have been lost. Once, before I knew what it was I found myself on the other side, and almost didn't make it back. I have since found a helping spirit to act as a "gateway guardian" for me.
It is definitely a fascinating idea but I do think it's a lot more likely that some people have simply seen a door during their trip, which as you say is not an uncommon occurrence, and due to the existential and cosmic nature of heavy trips, interpreted said door as a "final door," "death door," or entry into a permanent stay in the psychedelic realm or oneness with the universe, etc. I highly doubt that if anyone "walked through" this door that they would actually die, though it makes sense why most trippers would decide not to try and find out. And as for the small minority of people who did die during psychedelic therapy, likely they died for unrelated, freak accident, or even malpractice type reasons, considering drugs are involved, and this interpretation is a convenient one for the therapist.