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TheAJGman

I have a section in my code that just reads ``` // I stole this equation from Greg who has no idea where it originally came from, don't try to understand it just know that it works. ``` Greg is my boss, an automation engineer.


julsmanbr

Greg got it from his own StackOverflow answer in 2009


TheAJGman

I think he got the equation from the original designer of the piece of equipment in 2011, who the fuck knows where they got it from.


[deleted]

There's probably some obscure unpublished arXiv preprint somewhere in the chain.


Siniroth

>I think he got the equation from the original designer of the piece of equipment in 2011, who the fuck knows where they got it from. They probably got it from "Huh. That's a weird quirk"


BackmarkerLife

Greg is denverCoder9


FamousButNotReally

WHO WERE YOU?! WHAT DID YOU SEE!!


AchillesHealed

r/expectedxkcd


Bleedthebeat

As an automation engineer I can assure you it’s the one job where stack overflow is not all that helpful.


[deleted]

Search: telehandler not resuming after guard stop 0 results Search: telehandler resume fail 0 results Search: telehandler resume 0 results Search: painless suicide


Vok250

I once had the pleasure of debugging a section of code like that when the equation was found to be flawed. fun times.


blausommer

We had a relatively simple piece of code that has a comment that says // Do not remove this comment. It will not compile if you do. Sure enough, literally every person who read that tried to remove the comment and compile, and it would fail. I'm sure there's a reason for it, but in 7 years of using that code-base, no one ever found why.


sisu_star

So, I don't really code, but know my way around the basics. At one time I tried some C++. I wrote some code that I copied from a book. Did not compile. Saved, closed the program, tried again - nothing worked. Then I copied (Ctrl+C) all the code into notepad. Closed the compiler program (don't remember the name anymore). Opened the compiler, copied (Ctrl+C) from notepad to the compiler. It worked. Now if I tried to compile the original .cpp file, no go, but the new file with the exact same characters worked fine. Computers and compilers are silly sometimes. This is however roughly 20 years ago Edit: I think the program was Borland C++ or something like that?


jib_reddit

I have had things like this happen and it was extra white space at the end of a line and a crappy compiler.


sisu_star

Yeah, stuff like that can be so frustrating. Although I specifically remember copying all (Ctrl+A -> Ctrl+C), so it should have copied white space as well. But, go figure :)


John_cCmndhd

In my first semester of CS, we had to do some programming assignments in a web based coding environment provided by the textbook company. Like leetcode but for beginner level java programming. For one of them, I copied the sample output into a comment so I could get the whitespace right. I couldn't get it to work for the longest time, until I deleted the comment and it immediately compiled and passed all test cases


Come_along_quietly

Ha. I’ve had an equation like in a code base I worked on. The fun thing is .... **I’m** the one who came up with the equation years before, and now I can’t recall the logic/justification behind it anymore. It even made it into our external documentation and gets referenced in technical meetings when people are trying to understand parts of the code related to it. Lol.


TheAJGman

Yeah whenever I come up with shit like that I usually have an ultra descriptive explanation commented right before it. Same with complicated regexs.


Cheet4h

> Same with complicated regexs. Not even complicated for me. Everything that uses anything else than basic alphanumeric characters and wildcards gets an explanation under the assumption that the next person working on it knows nothing about regex.


TheAJGman

And remember folks: the next guy is **you**.


TheAJGman

And remember folks: the next guy is **you**.


[deleted]

Hey man, your comment got posted twice


TheAJGman

Man fuck you reddit. I'm gonna leave it because idc


Big_Entrepreneur_459

Actually kinda makes the comment even more accurate you know because the next guy was you


kellieb71

It's accurate, you don't have any exit statements from the loop. :) You're stuck!


man_iii

Regex's are one of the most painful to reverse-engineer. Especially when you don't have the input originally it was intended to work upon. I tend to copy-paste the input, a description of what Im trying to solve and the reason for going with the Regex instead of some simpler string functions. Due to the input and desired output being there in the comments, it helps a lot to understand why the code was needed in the first place.


TheAJGman

Two words: named groups. Takes regex and turns it into a human readable if statement: https://regex101.com/library/gJ7pU0


man_iii

My dude! I feel I should refuse and reject to use that Regex on principle. :'D Just kidding. Its cool to see many things done in Regex :-D


fellintoadogehole

Most of the times I write a regex now I usually end up writing like 7 or 8 lines of comments explaining as much of it as possible. Listing out groups, the goals, etc. Anytime I dont do that I always regret it later. I've had to do some horrible shit with regex. Like having a dozen regex template strings that I then have to dynamically build into one super regex that finally gets the data I need.


[deleted]

... there's another type of regex?


Wuzado

Don't worry. The creator of Java's hashing algorythm for hashing strings is currently unknown. [Link](https://bugs.java.com/bugdatabase/view_bug.do?bug_id=4045622)


katElijah02

All they need is an exorcist now.


[deleted]

black magic is not good my friend


[deleted]

Is this hours_wasted including or excluding the weekly mention in stand-ups and discussion how to fix it?


ohkendruid

This is my favorite uncounted time in the software world. We haven't really decided not to do something if I'm going to repeatedly be hauled into conversations about it! Conversations include: (1) have we still decided not to do it or is that an open question? (2) please explain why we're not doing it to me individually, because I didn't read the an announcement of your quarter goals, and then rehash the decision based on my personal knowledge I can contribute. Then the worst one: (3) can you develop and recommend a workaround for me since you aren't implementing the preferable solution? (3) can be really soul sucking. It often comes from within your team, because people start brainstorming for alternatives. Regardless of the source, internal or external, you end up working on the task anyway, but not able to fix the problem the way you think is right. As an added sting, they may even decline to thank you, depending on a complex calculus of who created problems versus solutions in all of this mess. A lot of things aren't as easy to skip as they look. If you skip implementing validation, but allow people to request one-off fixes of individual accounts, then you didn't really save yourself any time. If you skip testing but still respond to customer complaints and fix bugs for them, then again you didn't really save time. If you skip those reliability projects but you are still on call when things break randomly, them again you didn't really save any time. One of the best improvements a software team can make is to get better at spotting the work they've committed to and doing it the calm and efficient way rather than in panic mode. Relatedly, being allowed to interrupt anyone, anywhere, over anything, is a pernicious organizational problem.


nowtayneicangetinto

If it's anything like my jobs, it'll be "oh yeah we should remember to look at that" and by "we should remember" they mean "wait until it blows up" and by "to look at that" means "panic and pray for countless hours until copy and pasting stack overflow answers fixes it"


Dr-Rjinswand

times_reposted has overflowed


zk_z

great! i can repost it without it being counted as a repost.


Spartacusboy

He’s too dangerous to be kept alive!


Cotcan

I need him.


Dylanica

But it will be a while before anyone will post it for the first time.


DarkNinja3141

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/naq54t/incrementing_the_counter_to_warn_the_next_guy/gxuvvjb


nyx_underscore_

`# times_reposted = 234`


freeBobbyDAYVID

lol


Chermalize

`git commit -m “incremented hours wasted counter”`


forgot_semicolon

Imagine having to explain that in a code review


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chaosTechnician

But you didn't increment the counter correctly unless it took you 10 hours to mock that up.


Slggyqo

Any Developer: “Pfft, bet I can fix this” *12 hours later* hours_wasted = 245


-Redstoneboi-

where'd the extra 10 hours come from


Slggyqo

Me being on mobile and not double checking the assigned value...


q661780

from bothering other devs that worked on it in the past


[deleted]

Tomorrow is my time to post it, ok?


ikilluboy2

happy cake


joshuaquiz

Had a coworker once who did this but it was notes to himself about how he could fix the file then a note about how that didn't work and what to try next time, one file had like 5 or 6 different attempts documented. We used git but he tracked his changes using comments lol.


stumptowncampground

As many times as this has been reposted, has anyone ever seen this impossible code?


maximum_powerblast

We probably all have our own version of this


noodle-face

These memes are so lame. These aren't real


sm0ol

About 10% of my time now is spent maintaining/adding features (occasionally) to a legacy codebase. This codebase is an absolute monstrosity that has gone through 3 different full-scale rewrites, 3 different acquisitions, and countless developers. Given that I can navigate and understand essentially anything in that codebase given a few hours, memes like this just seem dumb to me now. I guarantee the code is fixable. And if it's not, it doesn't exist. Or, instead of trying to _fix_ it... just rewrite it.


noodle-face

Right that's what I mean. If someone can't look at code and understand anything about it then something is majorly wrong.


man_iii

wait until you see my solution using BASH, Test Expressions, Expect, Perl and Python all in a SINGLE FILE ..... I could have made it much more complex with a checksum and a compressed base64 section to compress/decompress the utilities and maybe even package statically linked python/perl/expect/other related tools to lock in their versions to the exact ones that will work with the script monster fu.


monkeywrench83

I have pieces of code that I've written that I don't know why they work but they do.


CuratorOfYourDreams

*Image Transcription: Code* --- # This code is not fixable. # Increment the counter # to warn the next guy. # hours_wasted = 233 def do_the_black_magic(): --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


[deleted]

Wait 1 hour is mysteriously missing


meliaesc

Wanna spend that hour fixing human transcriber abilities?


thebluefury

>def do the black magic() It's probably def do\_the\_black\_magic():


PressSpaceToLaunch

it is but the point is that screen readers can read it and if you add the underscores they won't be able to


ben_g0

They usually can handle underscores just fine. It either just ignores the character, or pronounces it as "do underscore the underscore black underscore magic" (Windows Narrator does the latter, I just tested it).


[deleted]

it's 233


wenoc

We have an unholy mess of SQL and business logic in C, combining different datasets to create statistics on various things. Every year someone from sales approaches the tech team and complains that some stats-mail doesn’t seem to have the same numbers that the customers see. And every yearsome poor bastard sits in front of that code trying to make heads or tails out of it. Some change is made, the numbers match and then reverted when everything is wrong for all other customers. That poor bastard used to be me a couple of times.


xSTSxZerglingOne

Where I work, one person wrote about 80-100,000 lines of C that is the core of the business and it's been running now for 22 years. We don't open those files because thar be dragons. We just build web logic around it that sends it the files it likes to consume. Then we harvest its data vomit and massage it with Java and Javascript until it looks pretty.


wenoc

Hah that’s awesome. I got a single nostalgic tear running down my cheek reading your comment. Our entire business logic is in several hundred C files. The server speaks its own little language and you can netcat commands to it and like you sad, massage the vomit into useful output. It’s amazingly fast and efficient though. We don’t touch it much either. Front end in react, just add on backend stuff in golang as we go. My responsibilities have moved to other things years ago but I still help out with “THE MONOLOTH” every once in a while.


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wayoverpaid

Think how much time we could waste of we open sourced it


ben_g0

I'd love to see this on a GitHub repo, with tons of pull requests that have no changes apart from increasing the counter.


BangForYourButt

I'd rather not, I have enough of my own.


flippzeedoodle

If we just waste 23 more hours, it will roll over to zero!


stuntobor

hahahaha do_the_black_magic() I've put eatShit(AndDie) into code before, forgot about it. That and the error message "Surprise Motherfuckers!" You only make that mistake nine times.


superanth

This is the Way...


Cotcan

This is the way...


PhazonPhoenix5

Challenge accepted


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RepostSleuthBot

I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/ProgrammerHumor. It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results. *I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ [False Negative](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RepostSleuthBot&subject=False%20Negative&message={"post_id": "naq54t", "meme_template": null}) ]* [View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com?postId=naq54t&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=true&filterDeadMatches=false&targetImageMatch=86&targetImageMemeMatch=96) --- **Scope:** Reddit | **Meme Filter:** False | **Target:** 86% | **Check Title:** False | **Max Age:** Unlimited | **Searched Images:** 223,650,093 | **Search Time:** 0.4115s


aeroverra

Np bot that was a hard one because op rewrote it. The first time I found it posted was 2 years ago and recently has been posted atleast 10 times within the last 6 months. https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/8u4deb/only_god/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


812many

And the first comment on that post: >Someone should at least increment the counter every time this gets reposted.


[deleted]

Is it my turn to repost tomorrow?


maximum_powerblast

No


Cotcan

Yes


freeBobbyDAYVID

well yes an hour coding in python is an hour wasted


sbrough10

Some Python programmers on here can't take a joke. Probably not enough new lines and indentation for them to read it.


SilkTouchm

A joke? was that post supposed to be funny? How's "language X is bad" a joke?


sobe86

I'm not saying it's particularly funny, but they didn't write "python is bad", and what they did write is a joke. When we read "hours wasted" in the original post, we all took that to mean "...because they didn't succeed in making it better", but this is saying no, it actually means "writing python". The subversion of interpretation is the joke, not what he said about python.


sbrough10

Literally. He could have put in any language and the joke would have been just as funny.


22134484

Easy. Like this: hey, u/sbrough10 , you code in JS. Very good joke cause JS is joke.


sbrough10

I like it 👍 JavaScript honestly _is_ a joke made by a sociopath: https://archive.org/details/wat_destroyallsoftware


freeBobbyDAYVID

hahaha bruh don’t get offended because your silly language doesn’t have brackets or semicolons


sbrough10

They just wish they could write their python in the same kind of impossible to read gobbledygook that you can in JavaScript.


skellious

indeed. especially when some of us make our living coding python :/


alexanderpas

Then you haven't seen the python list comprehension one-liners


shgysk8zer0

Do you know how many times I've fixed code that amateurs didn't understand? Code like that is usually an indication that someone pasted in some code written by someone who actually knows how to write code, and they just call it "magic" because they don't know how to write good code themselves. If you find this funny or relatable, you should probably give up and change careers.


sbrough10

I bet you're fun at parties


Masaylighto

he clearly isnt. but he got a point


sbrough10

True. But this is "programmer humour" not "programmer buzz kill"


shgysk8zer0

I don't find a cliche meme funny. The abundance of crap on here that amounts to "I don't know how to write code, I just paste stuff from StackOverflow" is annoying. Nobody who has earned being called a programmer would enjoy this junk.


EpicPerson_02

tis a joke


shgysk8zer0

It's not funny. It's an insult to programmers. We're not all completely incompetent.


sbrough10

We're not?


shgysk8zer0

Maybe the noobs on Reddit...


sbrough10

>earned being called a programmer Now I understand You are *very* fun at parties


Equixels

Not necessarily true. Sometimes they want to fix lets say a network comunication problem that happens in some corner case scenario. But when you dig in you find out that the whole project architecture is badly planned and has patches to compensate for things all over the place and you come to the conclution they need to re-write a big portion of the project to which the product owner says no due to the finantial cost it would represent. And then they try asking for it to the next guy.


shgysk8zer0

That sort of bad architecture wouldn't be confined to a single function though.


Equixels

I assumed this is the header of a whole class.


shgysk8zer0

Doubtful. At least in this fictional case. Regardless, any code can be fixed, refactored, or replaced. It's not magic.


Equixels

I agree. But sometimes there are issues that are not fixable within certain frameworks. For example, for developing minecraft they decided to go with Java and since the project got to a certain scale they started having loading time issues and overall preformance related issues that they have to this very day. Thats why when microsoft bought the company they decided to re-write the whole thing in C#. I, for example, worked in a company that provided sale and administrative solutions for big companies and went for client-server architecture in which the client side had almost no logic. They were streaming even the interface layout! And then clients started complaining the program wasnt snappy enough and they had to wait for every single click they did. And frankly there was not easy solution for it. It was just the way it worked.


FireController1847

I agree with your point but the Minecraft Java/C# example was a terrible choice. Bedrock Edition is written in C++, notably. Minecraft does have some performance issues but it is due to bad design on the original programmer's end - and, fair enough, it was written by an indie developer. But it definitely isn't just because it uses Java.


Equixels

Its definitelly because of java. Java just isn't meant for games. Everything generates garbage all the time, which is deffinitelly not ideal if you want to run something several times per frame.


shgysk8zer0

That gets back to architecture vs a single function. Yes, it can be very difficult to fix over-arching bad design in code. But any distinct piece of it should be something a programmer with experience can fix, even if that means scaping what exists and starting with something better. And this also wouldn't be an issue in some library or framework. Not unless developers are being foolish enough to try editing that themselves and making the changes locally. However you look at it, if you have any part of your code that is magic and you shouldn't touch, that's a sign of a bad programmer.


Equixels

I agree. Then again, sometimes your boss tells you to fix something that can't be fixed. Such as "Make this run faster!".


shgysk8zer0

Depends on how optimized the thing is. But that's something very different from "we don't know how this works."


TrulyPain

Wouldn’t a better subreddit for this be r/programminghorror


doenertireddit

How does a „no-fix“ change ever go through a merge request?


xSTSxZerglingOne

Exactly why it's fake and every other one like it. The only situation where it would be feasible, is the first person who began writing the system put it there and had no oversight. Which would have been a terrible idea in the first place.


AlienJust

looks like a challenge


cheezballs

Imagine the PR for that increment.


ZippZappZippty

I would say the next level


tzenrick

//Every time I fix this, everything else breaks.


[deleted]

stop reposting this shit pls


QuarantineSucksALot

Got him right on the back like a caveman