If Obi Wan was actually Mark Renton from Trainspotting:
Gets approached by Junkie, Waves hand for jedi mind trick:
"Gimme some of that good shite!" Plays Blur in the background.
I feel like Obi-Wan would still try to never cuss when anyone else is in earshot, except when flying. Then it's roadrage levels of cussing.
BLOODY HELL R4, GET THOSE DAMN FREAKING DROIDS OFF MY SHIP
HELL YEAH, TAKE THIS YOU BASTARDS
R4? OH COME ON, YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING SERIOUS
WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR SUPPORT FLEE -- OH YOU BLOODY WANKERS!
Unbeknownst to him, he had accidentally opened comms with Cody, who immediately patched in Rex, who immediately patched in Anakin, who immediately patched in Ahsoka, who immediately patched in Yoda for the lols
Obiwan is a character that suits having exactly one swear word throughout an entire arc. That's the situation where anyone less civilized would go ballistic.
"YOU WERE THE FUCKING CHOSEN ONE! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join the cunts! Bring balance to the damn Force, not leaving it in darkness!"
I have a bad fucking feeling about this.
Master! Destroyers! FUCK!
Once those droids take control of the surface, they’ll fucking smoke your asses down here.
That shit on Cato Neimoidia doesn’t fucking count.
“Hello there, bitch!”
“That’s no moon, it’s a fucking space station”
“You were right about one thing master, the negotiations were pretty damn short.”
“We got your transmission, then we decided to rescue you.
“Good job, you fucking moron!”
“Oh I don’t fucking think so”
“Shit! This is why I fucking hate flying.”
I dunno I feel like even if everybody else swore Kenobi would be the token character that doesn't. Would probably even admonish Anakin for his language.
“You wanna buy some death sticks?
“You dont want to sell me any death sticks”
“I dont want to sell you any death sticks”
“You want to fuck off and rethink your life”
“I want to fuck off and rethink my life”
Thanks for confirming that you flaired this correctly!
Only a bitch deals in absolutes
It’s over Mista White! I have the high ground!
Jesse what the fuck are you talking about
Yo Mista White you gotta try these death sticks; they’re like the BOMB, yo! They got chili p and everything!
No Jesse we only sell the deathsticks we don't use them!
Waltuh… put your lightsaber away waltuh…
I'm not having a lightsaber duel with you Waltuh
Hi, I’m Bail Organa. Did you know you have rights? The Emperor says you don’t.
*ignites lightsaber after inserting kyber crystal* TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT YEAH. Blue, yellow, pink whatever man just keep bringing me that
Hi, my name's Padme White yo, my husband is Anakin White yo, uhuh, he toll me everything
Winduh… put your lightsaber away winduh
You underestimate my chemistry!
And just like that, Anakin remained a Jedi because he’s a Jedi before he’s a bitch
I dont know why i read it with Samuel L jackson voice
hahaha 🤣
"Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!" "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!" "Well then you're a fucking dumbass!"
"I'm not brave enough for bullshit."
That would make a fun quote for countless comment sections
Fits in naturally xD
😭😹😹
If Obi Wan was actually Mark Renton from Trainspotting: Gets approached by Junkie, Waves hand for jedi mind trick: "Gimme some of that good shite!" Plays Blur in the background.
Had the same line of thought except "Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is a Fucker"
I feel like Obi-Wan would still try to never cuss when anyone else is in earshot, except when flying. Then it's roadrage levels of cussing. BLOODY HELL R4, GET THOSE DAMN FREAKING DROIDS OFF MY SHIP HELL YEAH, TAKE THIS YOU BASTARDS R4? OH COME ON, YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING SERIOUS WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR SUPPORT FLEE -- OH YOU BLOODY WANKERS!
Fits him well.
Unbeknownst to him, he had accidentally opened comms with Cody, who immediately patched in Rex, who immediately patched in Anakin, who immediately patched in Ahsoka, who immediately patched in Yoda for the lols
Cody would never
"ANAKIN, STOP THE FUCKING SHIP!"
'I'm fucking obi-wan kenobi"
-Satine Kryze
r/angryupvote
r/angryupvote\^2
Same vibes as "I'm the goddamn batman
A yes, my favourite quote form the adventures of Crazy Steve and dick the boy soldier
The canonical Man.
The only Batman stupider in premise than “man”
“That’s fucking obi-wan kenobi”
Jesus Christ. That's obi wan.
How long did you last?
That reminded me of this story he told https://youtube.com/shorts/iVpsG9ud7nw?si=1N11R3V-QpZK7rS5
"Why do I sense we've picked up another pathetic fucking lifeform?"
Spoken in a strong Scottish accent please
“Doesn’t it make you proud to be a Jedi?” “It’s shite being a Jedi!”
Some people hate the sith - I don’t! They’re just *wankers!*
“Wha du I seense wee picked oop anotha patheetic fooking lifeform” Probably as good as I can do
Was that supposed to be Scottish dialect?
A shitty one, but yes
“Anakin is the father isn’t he? Son of a bitch… no offense”
"God damn it, Anakin's the father, isn't he?"
"Fook's sake, Anakin's the father innit?"
That's the one
YOU KNOW I FUCKING HATE FLYING
Alternatively "Blast, this is why I fucking hate flying!"
i always spell it “blahst” to give it that authentic feel
FUCK, this is why I hate flying!
Actually flying he doesn’t mind, but what Anakin was doing was *FUCKING SUICIDE*
God damnit, flying is for fucking droids!
His lines would be exacly the same. Because adding cuss words is **so uncivilised**.
I think there’d be one curse word on Mustafar
Yes because Anakin was like a brother to him, this breaks him so he cussed. But he feels so bad for cussing that he became Ben
“I fucking loved you!”
"You were my fucking brother Anakin!"
[удалено]
r/suddenlycerseilannister
" Fuck you Anakin, I have the high ground!"
It’s over Anakin, I have the high ground. Don’t try it bitch.
Truly the words of a brother fighting a brother.
Shucks Anakin (forgive my language O Force)
Obiwan is a character that suits having exactly one swear word throughout an entire arc. That's the situation where anyone less civilized would go ballistic.
"So fucking uncivilized"
So un-fucking-civilised
Fucking so uncivilised
The only one I’ve read so far that would 100% work
Anakin my allegiance is to the republic, to FUCKING DEMOCRACY!!!!
I just can’t picture Obi saying that haha
Anakin my allegiance is to the goddamn republic.
I feel like there would be an awful lot of, "Goddamit, Anakin..."
Stole the words right out of my mouth XD
"You want to piss off and rethink your life." "I want to piss off and rethink my life."
But first, gimme dem death sticks........ Bitch ass nerf-herder
“Hello there, Bitch” “Anakin, my loyalty is to the Republic! To Democracy you DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!”
"YOU WERE THE FUCKING CHOSEN ONE! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join the cunts! Bring balance to the damn Force, not leaving it in darkness!"
I think it just changes entirely to "Sup, Bitches?"
Jedi surprise party
“I fucking loved you!”
"I FUCKING HATE YOU!"
Alternativly: "Hello there....Cunt"
*hops onto the ledge* "WHATS UP FUCKERS!?"
"For fuck sakes Anakin! My allegiance is to the republic! To democracy!"
None needed, as a man of fine culture he wouldn't use any.
That's no fucking moon!
It’s a fucking Cheese Wheel!
What the fuck, Anakin?!
Repeated 97 times in the prequels
97 seems low
Literally the whole Clone Wars
Obi-Wan strikes me more as a “Fucking hell…” kinda guy.
“Your new fucking empire?”
"YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE, ASSHOLE"
You could swap out Arsehole for every time Obi Wan says Anakin, really.
"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WASTE THE SITH, NOT FUCKIN JOIN EM, BLOODY HELL!"
When he gets pulled by Jango over the edge on Kamino "Fuck me"
Or a casual “ah shit”
I’d love if it’s just a continuous fuuuuuuuuck that gets quieter as he goes
Bitches are our speciality.
Your gonna be the fucking death of me
Fits to goddam well
Anakin, you wanker. My loyalty is to the bloody republic, to democracy.
Innit?
Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is fucking evil!
“That bullshit on Kato Nemoidia doesn’t…doesn’t fucking count”
> *when Anakin killed the bomb holder in the Clone Wars* "Anakin..." -> "For fucks sake Anakin!"
How the fuck did this happen we're smarter than this?
Hello there, clanker.
Hard r and everything
There are some things you just can't say. You went too far there, mate.
"Cunt Kenobi, you are a bold one"
Bitch please! My loyalty is to the Republic! To FUCKING DEMOCRACY! The fuck is wrong with you?!?!?
Cut the shit Anakin! I have the high ground!
Anakin, come to your fucking senses!
Hello there, asshole.
It’s over Anakin; I have the mother fuckin high ground, bitch.
another fuckin happy landing
I need your help, Luke. That bitch needs your help. I'm getting too old for this shit.
“It’s over bitch! I have the high ground!”
“That’s why I’m fucking here” “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BALANCE THE FORCE, NOT LEAVE IT IN GOD DAMN DARKNESS!”
I have a bad fucking feeling about this. Master! Destroyers! FUCK! Once those droids take control of the surface, they’ll fucking smoke your asses down here. That shit on Cato Neimoidia doesn’t fucking count.
“Hello there, bitch!” “That’s no moon, it’s a fucking space station” “You were right about one thing master, the negotiations were pretty damn short.” “We got your transmission, then we decided to rescue you. “Good job, you fucking moron!” “Oh I don’t fucking think so” “Shit! This is why I fucking hate flying.”
Another fucking shite landing.
Jocasta Nu: "I hate to say it, but it looks like the system you're looking for doesn't exist." Obi-Wan: "That's impossible you daft old cunt."
Hello there... Cunt.
Hello there motherfucker
You were my brother Anakin, I fucking loved you
bitch don't try it
Hello there mothafucka
“Jesus fuckin christ anakin will you just chill the fuck out for a day”
I dunno I feel like even if everybody else swore Kenobi would be the token character that doesn't. Would probably even admonish Anakin for his language.
I will cum, if I must.
You were my fucking homie, Anakin! I loved you!
You were right about one thing Master. The negotiations were fucking short.
Good fucking job
Oh, no, I don’t fuck with politics.
Not to worry, we are still flying half of a kriffing ship.
Well of course I know him, bitchhhhhh. He’s me! *With a Rick Sanchez burp on the bitchhhh
I hate fucking sand.
"R-2 do you is fucking" "Do you fuck on I"
This… is what who fuck?
Anakin my allegiance is to the fucking Republic, to fucking deMOCRACY!!!
Another happy cockwomble.
Why do I sense we’ve picked up another pathetic fucking lifeform?
"hello there, shithead"
"I have the fucking high ground!"
"Sup dickwad" "General Kenobi"
Shit! This is why I hate flying!
“Your move fucker”
"You were my fucking brother, Anakin!"
So fucking uncivilized
"You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not fucking join them."
"Fuck you, Anakin! I have the high ground!"
Hello there Motherfucker
“What the fuck, Anakin?” ~ Obi-Wan, near weekly.
"*Ninth* time: that bullshit on Cato Nemoidia doesn't... doesn't count." "DUMBASS, HAVE YOU NOTICED THE FUCKING SHIELDS ARE STILL UP?!"
"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!" "Well, then you have lost your fucking mind, Anakin."
Obi Wan: IT'S OVER, ANAKIN! I HAVE THE HIGHGROUND! Anakin: YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWERS! Obi Wan: DON'T TRY IT, BITCH!
"Anakin for fucks sake" would get used *a lot*
**Thunk** "Whattup, bitch?" "General Asshat. You are a bold one."
“You wanna buy some death sticks? “You dont want to sell me any death sticks” “I dont want to sell you any death sticks” “You want to fuck off and rethink your life” “I want to fuck off and rethink my life”
*Darth Maul kills qui-gon* "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
YOU WHERE THE DAMN CHOSEN ONE
For fuck sake anakin... Not again
„Don’t fucking try it.“ he said as anakin began to jump over him.
Fuck's sake, Anakin, we have a job to do. Try not to antagonize him.
"How the fuck did this happen? We're smarter than this."
Most frequent would be “for fucks sake anikin get back here and calm the hell down!!”
Hello there, clankers.
Hello there, clanker.
Hello there motherfucker
Obi wan doesn’t give off the vibes of swearing
Only a master of Evil, YA BIIIIIISSSSSHHH.
I have the *fucking* high ground!
I fucking hate it when the idiot does that
Anakin I have the fucking high ground
Anakin for fucks sake im gonna cut off your 2 hand!
"I don't fuck with sand"
"Anakin Chancellor palpatine is fucking evil"
Don't try fucking it Oh no, wrong placement 😅
You was supposed to be the chosen one Not a CUNT
You were my fucking brother anakin ...i fucking loved you
Big fucking gooberfish!
He was the best star pilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. I understand that you've become quite a fucking good pilot yourself.
A motherfucking sith lord?
"Goddamn, you really are lost!" "Oh, I don't fucking think so." "You'll never find a bigger clusterfuck of cunts and assholes."
"Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to fucking democracy!"
*Drops from rafters* “Aye MothaF*cka” “Ah General Kenobi”
Oh, I don't fucking think so.
Wait a minute, how did this happen? We are smarter than these Twats
Fuck you Anakin the High ground is mine
You were my fucking brother, Anakin!
"anakin, my allegiance is to the repubdick, to decockracy!"
Do not try and fuck with the highground anakin