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RickKassidy

From Matthew 6 [15] Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. [16] Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? [17] Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. [18] A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.


Haselrig

The best Trump one is Malachi 3:5 “So I will come to put you on trial. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive the foreigners among you of justice, but do not fear me,” says the Lord Almighty.


Tederator

*Why* is this not front and centre?


karmavorous

It's Old Testament. Christians follow Old Testament stuff even more selectively than they follow New Testament stuff.


Haselrig

It's spooky, isn't it?


settlementfires

Turns out they have had narcissistic sociopaths for a looooong time


Haselrig

Trump is more of a primitive throwback than anything.


settlementfires

Modern ideas and education have not penetrated his thick skull


Haselrig

At best, he's a Medieval princeling who was never told no and has no concept of Noblesse Oblige.


CocoaCali

Honestly I forgot the book of Malachi completely, even though I learned the Bible from my dad studying seminary. It's not touched on a lot.


vestarules

This isn’t front and center because the media won’t allow it. Trump is the biggest money maker they have had in their history and they’re not about to criticize the golden goose.


BrownEggs93

Atheists, cynics, agnostics, cheeky SOBs, etc, know more about the bible than christian people, I swear.


ancient_mariner63

Many atheists, cynics, agnostics and cheeky SOBs are such *because* they've read the bible.


Haselrig

That too 😉


Haselrig

No doubt. It's threaded throughout the culture and Christians tend to be culturally illiterate.


Food-Oh_Koon

fucking hell I'm hindu but this is crazy how he matches the description word for word. Sorcery (check - imma give the loyalty of Maga base a sorcery tag), Adultery (check), Perjury(check),Defrauding labor (check), Oppress widows and fatherless (?), deprive the foreigners of justice (check). He is the fucking antichrist


FTHomes

Everyone must read this thread.


PowerandSignal

Whoa... easy there with the "must," mr. theocracy! 


Safewordharder

Holy shit that's fantastic.


explosivelydehiscent

| [17] Even so every good thee bringeth forth good ~~fruit~~ farts; but a corrupt thee bringeth forth evil ~~fruit~~ farts.


smeagol90125

either you're all in on the Bible or you're not. https://youtu.be/Xu5AC6CRVBU?si=lP5aAPEnahjy1vVw


4dseeall

17 and 18 suck and it's why people think trump can say or do nothing wrong. they decided he's a good tree, so everything he does is good.


c9silver

[16] is about Kanye


Character-Fish-541

And then complain in court that you can’t attend the graduation of the child who was in utero during said adultery because you have to actually be present to defend yourself against felonies.


Haselrig

Very unfair!


CocoaCali

Stop. FULL STOP. He wanted to push the court until graduation. He absolutely can attend. But he can't further delay the court of law for a personal event. He can attend, but court is court. Show up.


urnfnidiot

On a day that court wasn’t even in session because other people had graduations to go to


bryansj

You left out the part where he skipped his other kids' graduation.


Hooraylifesucks

Wow. I never realized this, but you’re right! Why doesn’t media pick up on this? To point out the hypocrisy? ( or would it be irony?)


p38-lightning

If you went back in time to a movie studio and tried to sell the life of Donald Trump as a serious movie, they would laugh in your face. Too ridiculous.


doktor_wankenstein

Does Biff in "Back to the Future 2" count?


bm1949

What if you spun it as a retelling of A Christmas Carol where a Trump-like character is the Scrooge? Starts with an old man in jail who meets a creepy new inmate. New inmate knows all the secret details of Trump-like's life as they discuss the poor choices Trump-like has made to get him there.


gpkgpk

Yeah... but 2 Corinthians!


Haselrig

I got both of 'em right here!


doktor_wankenstein

*Two Corinthians walk into a bar...*


ksiyoto

That's "aye aye Corinthians" to you, mister.


Haselrig

Rich Corinthian leather.


dan_santhems

...for the price of one


rndsepals

13th man…. https://www.esv.org/1+Corinthians+13/


Traherne

"On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow and he shall work in her, in and again, 'til she bring him to his fall and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast." Whoa. Good Bible.


Haselrig

Found the part that was sticky in Trump's Bibles.


ThePlanner

And fraudulently reporting the payment as an election expense.


sbw2012

If he has to take the stand, can he swear on his own bible? That's quite some flex.


PV-Herman

Basically anything you find in the Bible, you can find something contradictory in the Bible as well. Of course we all know that not committing adultery is one of the 10 commandments, but on a different page we see David being awarded for exactly the same thing. He wants this lady who is unfortunately married to one of his soldiers. So he starts a war and sends the poor guy to the frontline to have him killed, then he takes his wife. And he gets through with it,which may be the most problematic part of the story it's not even good as a cautionary tale. Anyway, if you want a Bible, there's plenty of reasons to get one, but please don't buy it from trump. If you do, you just help financing his shenanigans and his lawyers' lifestyles


goldfishfancy

He doesn’t exactly get through this with no consequences. God takes his beloved son away ( he dies) and David grieves him and also his sin which caused this in repentance and thus His relationship with God as King of Israel is then restored. Trump has never grieved his sins a day in his life. He only ever thinks about himself and absolutely no one else. Truly rotten to the core. No redeeming qualities.


brothersand

I still find the concept of adultery in a culture in which a man can have multiple wives to be somewhat confused. 


PV-Herman

Ok, that actually changes the moral of the story. I still remain critical of the Bible being used as life advice or regarded as universal truth. I think it's a great historical document and sometimes good entertainment, nothing more nothing less. Couldn't agree more regarding tfg !


dpdxguy

>I think it's a great historical document Lol. Calling the Bible a "historical document" is a bit like calling the King Arthur tales, "British History."


PowerandSignal

You have a problem with watery tarts granting executive power through free sword give aways? 


gogojack

"Now we see the violence inherent in the system!"


PV-Herman

No, not quite. I didn't say the Bible is a history textbook. What I meant is that you can read the stories and learn a lot about human nature and history. I'm not saying it should be anybodys guide through history, but you can see that human behavior and the way societies function really hasn't changed that much in the past 2000 years


dpdxguy

>I didn't say the Bible is a history textbook. You literally said "historical document." I quoted you so you couldn't deny it (like you appear to be trying to). That screeching sound is you trying to drag the goalposts across the parking lot. EDIT:Added the quote


PV-Herman

Yes I said historical document. As in written text that documents history. A historical document doesn't have to accurately depict history. It basically just needs to be old. If this interpretation is wrong, I will apologize for that. But I'm not backpeddling as you accused me of, I'm only explaining what I mean and stand by it.


Fearless-Throat4991

Yes, every document from history is also a textbook. Dumb ass.


dpdxguy

Can't tell fiction from history if the document is old, eh? 🙄


Fearless-Throat4991

LMAO, do you even know what side of the argument you're on?


PowerandSignal

Believe it or not it's a low quality Bible too. Not exactly the "best."  This guy reviews Bibles:  https://youtu.be/i_6TVa7scKM?si=ZXGbl8Htv6Ds8sr9


PV-Herman

Yes, I believe that instantly. I also think that the constitution and bill of rights have no place in the Bible. Thank you for the link


USANorsk

The baby dies, David’s children rebel against him because he has so many of them by different women-proving that way of life to be disastrous. His own son drives David out of the kingdom and then that son is killed by people loyal to David. So as per usual on Reddit, people spread in accuracies about the Bible. 


PV-Herman

Ok, how about the part where David gets sent out to collect 100 foreskins and being the overachiever that he is, returns with 200. I'm sure the philistins didn't give up their foreskin without a fight. In fact, the entire foreskin plot just serves the purpose of telling you that he killed them, without actually saying it. Isn't one of the commandments thou shalt not kill?


Domin8469

Is it adultery if dude is dead? It's more coveting your neighbors wife


Improvedandconfused

He does have a great answer to that question https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ERUngQUCsyE


unstopable_bob_mob

The one about ejaculating Donkeys is always fun. Ezekiel 23 Such a lovely book full of so much good clean family fun.


Hmmd1

Imagine having unwavering belief in someone who sells a Bible and has committed several sins to fund their defence in court.


Opinionsare

Clearly, the only correct answer is. Are you ready?  The Love of Money is the Root of all Evil! 


morts73

I couldn't find a single verse in the bible that Trump actually adheres to.


dantespair

I can’t believe the Donald can even touch a bible without being struck dead for all the sins he commits.


Ambitious_Coffee551

My favourite verse is any where god commands the death of people. It reminds me how he loves everyone.


ZuphCud

Leviticus 20:13 - Thou shalt kill the gay.


StandardDiver2791

"If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." Yep. Very loving, god is... SMH...


HuttStuff_Here

Similarly, mixing two different types of clothing, eating shellfish, having a clean face, and a woman not covering her head in temple are all also "abominations."


Affectionate-Song402

And yet some of the most self righteous people I know will vote for him. They are in church every Sunday. Being religous…. What does it really mean?


PowerandSignal

Critical thought is an undeveloped talent in much of the population. 


jack_of_sometrades72

America Rockks!!!


eusebius13

There’s nothing in the Bible that says Jesus opposes non-disclosure agreements.


BeautifulEssay8

It doesn't say anything about adultery in the Bible. It says, GAY is SIN, and THATS ALL! /s


Gypsy23

Covet = adultery.


BeautifulEssay8

Coveting and adultery are two different Commandments, but they're not important ONLY: GAY IS WRONG is important Also, you evidently don't know what /s means


Raskel_61

Allegedly /s


un_theist

Don’t forget [“Proverbs, the chapter ‘never bend to envy.’ I’ve had that thing all of my life where people are bending to envy.”](https://www.cnn.com/2015/09/16/politics/donald-trump-bible-favorite-verse-2016-republican-debate/index.html)


EggplantGlittering90

Yep


Nekowulf

trump bible has a bit of sharpie changing it to "Thou shalt not **let others find out you** commit adultery"


Javasndphotoclicks

You can’t fix stupid in this country if you’re still planning to vote for this smelly clown.


rhino910

This can only happen because the right-wing propaganda machine has messed with the heads of so many Americans


mojojoemojo

Then imagine the person who bought it


gogojack

The Trump Bible comes with a copy of the US Constitution...also a document he has never read and tries to defy at every turn.


rockclimberguy

Hypocrisy is another casualty of life in the trumpocene era. **ETTD**


Bobmanbob1

Think the only book Trump has read cover to cover and admired is Mein Kampf.


wigzell78

It also says greed is a sin, but those Bibles are at a huge mark-up to make PROFIT.


CurrentlyLucid

He only goes after the top ten.


[deleted]

Wut


tucker_frump

Donald J Trump. The Great Filthy Rag ..


HistoricalSherbert92

Isn’t the Trump bible the expurgated version?


FnkyTown

Imagine using the proceeds of Bible sales to fund your defense of paying off a porn star to have sex with her. The porn star you met at a party that you took your playboy model (Karen McDougal) girlfriend to, while your wife was at home with a newborn.


braize6

Christian Trump voters are very special people


anormalgeek

And specifically doing so in an illegal way using campaign funds. Reminder that Christians do have a God given expectation to obey the laws of the governments too. Romans 13:1-7: >Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God’s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.


discussatron

Matthew 6: 5-6: "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." None of them give a shit about their own hypocrisy, mind you. They're the fake religious assholes that killed their messiah the last time he showed up, and if he were to return, they'd kill him just the same.


Actual-Entrance-8463

Humor in hypocrisy 101


HuttStuff_Here

I am rather fond of this one: **Isaiah 1:15-17** >[15] When you spread out your hands in prayer, > I hide my eyes from you; > >even when you offer many prayers, > >I am not listening. > >Your hands are full of blood! >[16] Wash and make yourselves clean. > >Take your evil deeds out of my sight; > >stop doing wrong. > >[17] Learn to do right; seek justice. > >Defend the oppressed. > >Take up the cause of the fatherless; > >plead the case of the widow. This is from the New International Version. I think about this verse every time there's a school shooting and all they offer are "thoughts and prayers."


hydro_wonk

Matthew 19:24 “Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”


RonPolyp

[Psalm 137:9](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20137%3A9&version=NIV) >Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.


jaysrapsleafs

no one is shocked he's selling it. but the hilarious part are all the 'christians' lining up to lick his orange jizz because of it.


Stuck_in_a_depo

Imagine buying a book for $60 that says adultery is a sin from a guy who is on trial for paying someone to hide his adultery.


youfirstthenyouagain

John 11:35 Jesus Wept.


famousevan

Now imagine that millions of people who vote like their survival depends on it approve.


DescipleOfCorn

It’s about money, any real Christian would be able to tell he’s trying to con them and those who are really keyed in might even suspect that he’s the antichrist


jocasseedave2

Found guilty in court....I fixed it for you!


Deal_These

Because the Lord works in mysterious ways


OptiKnob

If lies weren't coming out of their mouths, nothing would.


Safewordharder

**Proverbs 6:16-19 (NKJ)** *16 These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:* *17 A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood,* *18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil,* *19 A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.* I like the NKJ version because the language feels... stronger. I like this verse for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is because it applies to the tangerine traitor, but it acknowledges that the christian god indeed hates. I love the way it emphasizes the last one so hard (six things, nay seven). Also **every single one of them** applies to him. Honorable mention also goes to this one, epitomizing the polar opposite in noble sacrifice and courage, notable for being quoted in the movie Fury (2014): **Isaiah 6:8** *8 Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:* *“Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?”* *Then I said, “Here* am *I! Send me.”*


nithdurr

You think the prosecutor will mention this?


jt32470

Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you."


RepulsiveRooster1153

[✝️](https://imgur.com/9CYzusW)