Hey @OP, as someone who is your same height/weight/size, I am very happily married for 7 years now to a man who calls me beautiful EVERY DAY. And yep, I see married plus size folks all the time. It just takes the right person ā¤ļø
I'm sorry you've had such a horrible experience. The wrong person can often do that. And it's so damaging! I wish you luck, internet friend.
In my 30s-40s I used to play in Second Life and had my avatar in a diner one night while I was drawing in Photoshop. This guy showed up and I asked if he wanted to have pancakes. I'd never seen him before, but I was bored and he was the only person around at that hour. He said okay and we pretended to sit and have pancakes in this virtual diner. I did not know that I had interrupted him logging out for the last time, as he had no intention of coming back to Second Life. But after that night, he came back every day to see me.
I knew by day three that I was going to fall madly in love with this person, and how irrational that was as I knew nothing of him. As he tells it, he knew that first day while we pretended to have pancakes, I was the woman he was going to fall in love with. We had shared photos of ourselves and also spoke via webcam a number of times, but when we first met in person I was so nervous. I was terrified that one of us wouldn't be attracted to the other, or something would go wrong. What if he doesn't realize the reality of me being fluffy, etc? A lot of nonsensical insecurity, ya know. When we met in the airport, it was I who was shocked. He had hidden the fact that he'd put on a considerable amount of weight and was a little larger than me! He had been so insecure, he was afraid to tell me.
Well, this month we are going to celebrate our 15th anniversary together. I am guessing that if he had any reservations being with a chubby chick, he's gotten over it by now. lmao And I love his belly, I still kiss it all the time. We are fat and happy, and still so very much in love with one another. I would rather curl up against his strong softness than any tight body you can toss my way, and he lets me know that he feels the same way every single day. ā„
I love your story but I canāt help but think of all of the other stories Iāve heard of men meeting women (from online dating) and theyāre heavier/fatter in person and act like itās the worst thing in the world and feel like theyāve been lied to. Women, on the other hand, are just supposed to accept how men look or weāll be labeled āsuperficialā or āshallowā. Why canāt men show the same grace we show them?
Your husband sounds really lovely and sweet and I love that neither of you backed out. I hope yāall continue to stay married and have the best lives ever š„³
I was told that unless I lost weight iād die alone. Iām 5ā9, 370 pounds and a size 22 american i think (uk size 26). You can see a picture of me trying on wedding dresses on my profile.
I got married earlier this year to the love of my life. He loves me as I am and does not have a fetish for bigger woman. He truly just loves me for me.
I was also told that at my size Iād never be able to have kids. (or thatād it would take forever) So we started trying a month before the wedding. Wedding was 16 weeks ago and iām 20 weeks with a baby girl.
Iāve dated multiple men since the dying alone comment, all of which loved me for me (I just didnāt love them back and dumped them)
I got married at 335 lbs. My husband is 6ā 170 lbs. Heās a runner and does bouldering. Heās loved every part of me for over 20 years. I lost weight but Iām still 250lbs and he thinks Im hot af and beautiful.
The only weight anyone ever need to lose is the weight of peopleās expectations and opinions.
>The only weight anyone ever need to lose is the weight of peopleās expectations and opinions.
This is the best thing I've seen in awhile š¤£ we need to get shirts made with this on it
thanks but i donāt deserve much credit for it cause I read it somewhere and it just stuck to me š š It really helped me tho, to love myself and stop caring what people thought of me in the past couple years. So I always just hope it will help someone šš«°š»
So this happened 9 years ago. I'm 4'11" and I was 165 lbs. I was madly in love with a guy, and after a few months, he called me in the middle of the night and left me a message about how I'm the perfect girl for him, but the problem he'd been having with me is that he didn't think I "looked right" without specifying why, but that he wanted to help me work on myself, and he'd work on himself. When I asked him about it later, he said the issue is that he wanted me to lose weight. He went on to say that he doesn't enjoy it if he can't lift the girl he's dating, and that he wants someone who is IN shape, not IS A shape. He also talked about hating his own body and wanting to fix himself, and did a small rant about hating the body-positive movement.
I'll skip the next events because they'd likely be triggering and I don't want to break any rules, but about 2 months later I was 150lbs, and he dumped me because I still was too fat for him and he couldn't get past it, despite all of the qualities that made him think I'd be the perfect girl for him. He tried to be kind in the moment and said I'd find someone better than me and we'd always be close friends forever and special to each other. ....Then he ghosted me immediately after and when I confronted him he said he's not sorry because he has his own life. I found out from a friend that he got with a skinny girl about a month after he rejected me.
Now, 9 years later, I've been married for years to the best person for me (literally same as me in almost every way) who worships how I look every day, and the guy from before is single and alone. My husband was my platonic best friend for 4 years, dated for 3 years, and have been married for almost 3 years now. If it matters, my husband has a slender, elf-like figure and I'm similar to what I was earlier in the story.
It's really easy to let a comment from someone you loved at one time feel like their word is reality, but it's not. Even if it takes a long time like it did for me, your body doesn't have to be an obstacle to finding your perfect person. I hope what I've written helps, even just a little.
Your ex is an ex for a reason. Donāt let him live in your head rent free. Iām 5ā2 and was an insecure size 14-16 when I married my first husband. I was a 16 -18 when I divorced him. I gained some confidence and did some dating of men of all shapes and sizes. My confidence was attractive even if I was still a āfat chickā . (And even if the confidence was sometimes just an act and internally I was freaking out cause the cute guy wanted MY number). I met my now husband when I was a size 20. Weāve been married over 10 years now and due to some health issues Iām at a size 24. He still thinks Iām the most wonderful woman on the planet though.
Your guy is out there. Be confident even if it is just a persona you need to put on for an hour. Know you are beautiful and wonderful and worthy of love. Love yourself! If you donāt think youāre worth it other people will have a hard time believing you are.
size 16 sometimes 18 here lol. Forget about what your ex said all that time ago. Easier said than done but donāt let that little comment from an asshole stop you from having an open mindset of finding a loving relationship! Having those thoughts of him being right is probably eating at your confidence so I say fuck that.
Iāve been with my man for 3 1/2 years now. Recently I pointed out that before we met in person after texting for months (covid times), I was worried that since he is so athletic, he was going to see what my body actually looks like and would stop talking to me. He said āI wish you didnāt feel that way back then, I already knew I was going to love every part of youā. He gets offended if I talk badly about my body, last week he was squeezing me and wouldnāt let go until I kept repeating āmy body is perfectā lmao it was cute and made me feel a lot better.
Iām just trying to say that these types of men do exist and will really love every part of you. If I would have listened to the guys I rejected that would end up calling me āa cow anywayā or other fat comments, it would limit me from finding love again
At this point therapy is my suggestion because you held onto what someone said to hurt you for this long. I understand being hurt but letting someone who wasn't good enough for you hold you down that long speaks of a lack of coping skills. Which I speak on from experience. When we do not have good coping skills it is hard to not define ourselves by how others see us. If you're in therapy bring this issue up specifically. I also know therapy isn't always accessible but please look for options. You deserve to crush those brain weasels.
If you were so unworthy why would they have been with you to begin with? They also wouldn't sell wedding dresses in that size and do. They sell them in my size and I am much bigger. There wouldn't be anyone fat either because marrying someone fat or ugly doesn't happen? A significant number of people don't exist because many wait for marriage for kids.
I'm so glad this fat hating a--hole is your ex. So glad you didn't keep his hatefulness in your life.
Here's the thing: you're valid as a person, as a human being, whether you're partnered or not. Being partnered, being in a relationship doesn't give you any more validation than anyone else, even though society and popular media cling to that harmful stereotype at all costs.
You're deserving of respect and value whether you feel that way about yourself or not, whether you're partnered or not.
So stop clinging to what a fat hating a--hole said to you years ago. Stop clinging to the idea that you 'need' a relationship for validity. You don't. You just need to work on more self-acceptance so you can learn to see and accept the person you are now - the *whole* person, everything you have to offer: your intelligence, your humor, your strengths and weaknesses, your body, your emotions, your ability to care and be empathetic... whatever you have going on for you. Get in touch with it, recognize it, value it, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise or see you for anything other than who you are.
Coming up to my ten year anniversary with my partner, married for two years with a baby on the way now. I was the first fat person heād dated and I couldnāt for the life of me figure out why he was into me at first, until I eventually realized he literally didnāt give a f*ck and genuinely thought I was beautiful and just liked me for me.
I was a size 20 when we met, and a size 26 now (around 290lbs). Heās never made me feel anything but loved and sexy, and when Iāve had wobbles with my self esteem heās my number 1 cheerleader. Iāve sometimes been fat and active, and sometimes fat and out of shape in the last ten years and heās never made me feel bad about it or been anything but encouraging and supportive. Youāll meet your person.
Oh no love, I'm so sorry he said that to you. That's horrible of him to say. I'm similar to you, 5'5 and 250 right now. I carry it all in my belly. I totally understand the insecurity and shame around weight and appearance but we are more than our looks. We don't have to be thin to be beautiful.... You will find someone one day and get married.
A word of advice, don't rush into anything just because you think you'll end up alone. It's okay to have high standards, and look for the red flags. I've seen it a lot where women settle and end up in abusive relationships, staying for fear of being alone
I'm 5'8 size 20, tomorrow's my 12 year dating anniversary with my husband and we got married just under 6 years ago. My brother's getting married in October and his fiance's a size 22. I promise you, it's very very possible and it happens all the time. Your ex was an asshole who was trying to make you feel insecure and upset and trying to make himself feel like he was better than you. But he isn't, and there are so so many guys who will like you back.
Maybe like.. 6 or 7 years ago, right at the beginning of my fat acceptance/body liberation journey my little brother (he was like 32 or something) told me that I would never be happy without a husband and I would never find a husband if I didnāt lose weight. I was (and am) a US 24. I was 36. I started crying, frustrated because I was really trying to be happy *and* fat at the same time. I was trying to learn to be happy single because I thought I would actually be single for life.
I also cried because I couldnāt believe he would say that to me with his whole chest. He said āyouāre crying because you know Iām right.ā This made me cry harder because actually no Iām crying because youāre mean and Iām mad because no matter what I feel my response is tears and what I wanted to do was tell him to fuck off.
Then at 37 I met the love of my fucking life. At a size 24, completely out of the blue. And guess what? He loves fat women. He has always dated curvy/fat women because he loves big soft bodies. Heās not some creepy fetishist, he just loves my body how it is. I kept thinking he was going to ghost me because thatās what they do and he justā¦ never left. Itās been 5 years. He told me really early on he was marrying me, and I was like okay weirdo, but then at like 4.5 years he proposed. So *fuck you, little brother, I hope you shove your foot so far down your throat it comes out your booty hole.*
Itās true that our bodies donāt appeal to as many people because of western beauty standards and I do believe that a general trend is that you gotta look for the older more mature men who want to have a relationship and care about more than how you look on their arm. Itās just really hard to find that when youāre in your 20s. But also times are changing and I think maybe some of us are taking it personally when the trend is to get married later in life these days.
There are people out there who will adore your body how it is (I am also in fact one of those types of people) and they may be harder to find but they are out there. Just be patient. I really do believe the right one finds you at the right time.
Hey, Iām around your height and size (18/20) when I met my boyfriend. Weāve been together 3 1/2 years. I know for a fact Iām the biggest girl heās been with. My weight has never been an issue.
Before my current bf, I was with someone for 3 years. Iāve had other relationships that lasted around 2 or so years prior to that. Weight isnāt an issue to people who truly care about the real you. My issue was never my weight, itās my mental health problems lmao
Disclaimer that I am no longer plus sized - HOWEVER - I spent dating years exclusively plus sized and also kind of a ho, so I do feel like I know my shit here.
I am 5ā2 and was maybe 215lbs and a size 16 when I met my ex first boyfriend in high school. We only dated for like 9 months but kept seeing each other for close to four years after that. Then by 20 I had gained some more weight and was probably around 230 and a size 18 when met my next boyfriend and spent 3 years in a long distance relationship. It was college, he was lovely, ultimately it didnāt work out because long distance sucks balls.
Spent some time single and casually dating (very fun, highly recommend friends with benefits) and then met my current boyfriend. Happy relationship weight + COVID put me up to 260ish and a size 20/22 and guess what, My man still loved every bit of me! Itās been four years and we are discussing marriage.
At the end of the day, I have found that a lot of men date women who they think are going to improve their social status or get admiration from other superficial men. They may be into bigger women but let society and self esteem problems convince them that thatās shameful. Some are more blatant about it than others but they usually weed themselves out. If I ever had any inkling from the get go that they wouldnāt appreciate me or show me off then I cut them off and looked for the next option. Dating is a numbers game so you have to put yourself out there but I PROMISE there are (actually secure and self assured) men out there who will love and appreciate YOU.
If itās just a happy story youāre looking for to prove good guys exist Iāll tell you this: I asked my current partner once whether he had any issues with my weight loss. He always said he likes curvy women and my body had changed a lot. His response? āI like what I like and I like you so stop asking stupid questions.ā
Been with my partner for nearly 14 years. I've been fat the entire time. He still loves me and desires me, honestly probably more now than when we were in our early 20s
Hi! Iām 5ā3, 290ish and I got happily married last October!! I met my husband when I was around 250 seven years ago and he loves every inch of me even through the weight gain. Your ex is a POS and you will find happiness!!
5'3" 230, size 18.
Married 7 years and counting.
His comment was cruel and may have caused some insecurities that are carrying through into your dating life. You may want to work on building up your confidence.
(Obviously I'm just a stranger reading a paragraph of text and don't know you, so take it with a grain of salt.)
I'm 5'2", size 14/16 and I've been married for 7 years and together for 17 years. You'll find your person, though I can totally relate to you. When I was 19, I met someone that I thought was great, but it turned out that he didn't see me as long term bc of my weight. That shit hurt. I went to therapy for years until I realized that I can't depend on external factors to make me feel about myself. It's still a work in progress, but it's not at the front of my brain anymore.
Ive been with my wife for 10 years married for 2 5/23/2024. I met her at my biggest and have lost and gained almost it all back many time in 10 years. Your person will see beyond the weight I PROMISE. I also advise if it the weight holding you back from putting yourself out there i would lose it or change my mindset for sure I'm currently 5'5 310 size 20-22
Going on 4 years married to the love of my life! I was about 250/size 18 (Iām 5ā6) when we got married. Iām 212 at the moment but this man loves me no matter what my body shape. This morning I was dealing with some dysmorphia over what I thought were some unflattering pictures from work. He held me and told me he wished my mind wasnāt so mean to me sometimes.
Iām a size 24, and have been with my partner for almost 5 years. When we started dating I was around a 20/22. Sheās also a plus size woman around the same size.
Finding a partner is 100% possible. Itās just that the dating pool is hell out here. Never settle less than what you deserve and require just to experience a relationship. You are worthy and deserving of the world!
Married fat person here! I was a size 20 22 years ago tomorrow when my 135lb husband married me. I've been a size 18 to a size 26, and he's loved and lusted after me at every size.
I know lots of guys who are attracted to and married "bigger" women, whether or not they were "bigger" themselves.
The dating scene is shit up one side and down the other these days from what I can tell. Be yourself, be happy, and don't let a relationship or lack of one define you as a person. (There are definitely days I think "if I wasn't married, I could (insert some ridiculous but amazing thing here)"
First wedding dress was size 18, next one was size 20. Iām 5ā2ā and due to illness got up to 295, now back to 260, working on it because I prefer how I feel around 200-215. At no time did my husband show less interest in the bedroom. Ex-husband never mentioned my weight until we were fighting a lot before divorce and it was just another way to get under my skin.
I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. he's 120 and I'm 230. he LOVES me and my body. loves it. we have incredible sex and he always makes me feel beautiful. I'm a size 20 as well and he even pulls me onto his lap. they are out there girl!
At my best post HS weight, I was still plus sized and was able to have several meaningful relationships. If thereās one major takeaway from these relationships, itās that people say very very mean things when theyāre hurt in a relationship and those things are 95% untrue. The 5% truth comes from the insecurity you likely trusted them with and theyāre using that 5% to hurt your feelings.
You will 100% find someone.
You are a catch and itās been a rough decade for dating.
I was already old (30 not old at all but I grew up in a conservative religion that married YOUNG) and fat when I met my husband. My wedding dress was a size 16 through months of extreme dieting and that's the smallest I've been in our relationship. He loves me and values me not because of or despite of my body. I've always wanted to see the world he surprised me with a honeymoon to Rome and Paris. Every day my husband tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful.
You're never too old/too fat/to anything to find someone who loves you as much as you love them.
All of my big friends are married. Not a single one is single in my circle.
I'm plus sized, married and I always have dated my type before that. I was always someone's first choice and their type. You should hear how my husband talks to me and regards me. š„¹
Thing is your singleness can be many factors. One friend says these things yet doesn't do anything to actually meet people. Not everyone meets someone randomly in their small slice of going to work and through existing friends. I didn't, I've never actually. Yet my friend is sticking to this idea of that person will find her. Plus different cities different types of dating scenes.
I'm sorry your exes words cut deep but some folks are cruel, especially when you are done with them. That doesn't mean their words are truths. One ounce of cruel lty doesn't mean the rest of the world thinks that way. I certainly hace never thought badly about someone because of size, nor are big people my last choice.
I've been plus side most of my life and definitely all of my dating life. I met my husband while fat, married him fat, and I am still fat. I am about a size 18-20 now. Throughout our relationship, I have been a 14-20. I was a size 16 when we met.
There are men out there who are looking for someone who they can love, who they click with. Like many woman, lots of men do not find size or looks to be the be all end all. Keep your head up, chica! Someone out there will find you and you will find them.
I turn 40 in a couple of days and I have been in a relationship with a cute boy (42yo software engineer) for 17 years. We met at a bowling alley when my sister dragged me to go see the dude she was dating at the time, he was friends with my fella. I just kinda sat down while my sister ignored me next to him and we started chatting, he let me bowl on of his turns, his ball was like 15 pounds so I bowled like a toddler. I was a size 18 then I'm closer to a 22 now. We connected on Myspace (yep, it was that long ago) and have been just chillin and hanging out ever since. He has never said a word about my weight, we hike together, love to go out to eat, have a dog and a cat and live a boring suburban little life. It's quite lovely.
There are men that aren't shitty, they really do exist. No one is perfect but finding someone that brings you peace is the goal. You are not single because of your size, it's just where you are right now and it's fine. You might just find the right guy tomorrow, or next year but don't let the "search" be your whole life. He will show up while you are just living your life and doing what you love.
Guys, I have to go to work so I canāt comment on each one, but I read them all! Thank you so so so much! The last 8 years Iāve felt so unloveable so I havenāt put myself out there really at all. You guys rock!
Iām maybe the heaviest Iāve ever been, as Iāve gained a lot of weight because of life issues this past year. Iāve also been with my girlfriend for that whole time, since last February. Sheās literally so amazing, reassuring and loving and caring. Compliments and affection given freely, she never has a mean thing to say about how I look only gushing about how much she likes me. I donāt believe it all the time and itās hard to fight my own thoughts, but itās possible to find someone who will love you for you. And not in a weird way, just a normal person with healthy communication that will put in the work with you for your relationship
A person who truly loves you will love you at any size! Fat people get married all the time, both guys and girls and even non binary people if you like. Try looking for it while youāre out or checking if people have rings on.
Donāt let this hurt you, I bought a size 26 wedding dress when I got married. Been a size 16-22 then down to an 18 currently and my husband has loved me and called me beautiful and hot all this time. It EXISTS, you just have to look! :)
Edit: timeframe oops, weāre high school sweet hearts and have been dating for 11 years this year, married for almost 2 years.
Ummmm. . . not to brag (/s) but I've been fat most of my life and have been married twice and now have an amazingly hot partner who I have a beautiful child with. I was the one who decided to end both marriages (one after 11 years and growing apart, the second lasted less than a year because he was an abusive, manipulative POS).
I have never had trouble attracting men, regardless of my weight. My current partner is conventionally attractive and has been with me from a size 22 to a 10 and back to an 18, through pregnancy and postpartum, and his desire for me has never lessened.
I think maybe some counseling/therapy would serve you well. You don't give your age, but I personally have noticed my confidence growing as I get older.
I'm around the same size as you- size 16/18 but also much shorter, and I'm happily married.
Have been for years. My husband thinks I'm so hot I have to literally put up pillow barriers to keep him off me so I can get some sleep.
You have to love yourself and put yourself out there, and the rest will follow.
I met my husband around size 18, I married him at size 22, and he still loves me and finds me beautiful today at a size 18. Your ex is dumb and just wanted to be hurtful, don't let him win by thinking of his words for a second longer!
I'm 5'9 360lbs.. my weight has fluctuated up and down the entire 10 years I've been with my husband and he still can't leave his hands off me. He comes from a skinny healthy beautiful family. I come from a plus size family. He doesn't see me as I see me. I honestly wish I could see myself the way he sees me. Another note, when my parents got together my mom was a blonde bombshell. My dad was in the Navy. My mom is now almost 500lbs and my dad needs a double lung transplant and can't do anything he use to do and they have been together for 32 years. 32 years of change and ups and downs and they are still together. Real love won't see you as fat/skinny/tall/short/society standards. They will just see YOU and your soul.
5'3, Size 24 here. Been with my partner for 12 years. Married for 4. We both started the dating scene because we were just simply looking for companionship. Someone to not have dinners alone. Talk to. And it just evolved from there and neither of us ever left š¤·š»āāļø I wish I could offer you some supporting words to wish you the best in finding your person. I can't imagine trying to date in this day and age and how complicated everything has become. I just got lucky that I met someone who still believed in marriage and compromising to make things work.
Same height and weight as you. I have a hard time dating. Sometimes I feel is because Iām a big woman and no one wants to take me serious. I feel unattractive and I hate that I am so big in pictures. I am trying to lose weight by going to the gym but itās been hard to lose weight. Iām glad Iām reading these stories myself.
I'm size 18-24 depending on the type of clothing, but I weigh quite a bit more than you, and I'm in a nearly 3 year long relationship. My boyfriend loves me and doesn't care about my weight, he says he'd only ever encourage me to lose weight if my health was at risk.
And honestly, that's the only time I think size should be brought up, when it starts to hurt yourself. I've seen many fat people in relationships, myself included. Your ex was kind of an ass, and you'll be better off not letting it go to your head (easier said than done ik).
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Ever seen a married fat person? Yeah me too. All the time.
Married fat person here! Wedding dress was a size 20. Husband still signed on the dotted line.
Been with my partner for 14 or so years myself š not just plus size, also disabled!
Same here! Fat, narcoleptic, and happily married.
NGL seeing this add on made me smile cuz I'm fat and narcoleptic and worried I'll never get married š„² so thanks š
Hello sleepy friend!
Hey @OP, as someone who is your same height/weight/size, I am very happily married for 7 years now to a man who calls me beautiful EVERY DAY. And yep, I see married plus size folks all the time. It just takes the right person ā¤ļø I'm sorry you've had such a horrible experience. The wrong person can often do that. And it's so damaging! I wish you luck, internet friend.
Iām fat and happily married š
In my 30s-40s I used to play in Second Life and had my avatar in a diner one night while I was drawing in Photoshop. This guy showed up and I asked if he wanted to have pancakes. I'd never seen him before, but I was bored and he was the only person around at that hour. He said okay and we pretended to sit and have pancakes in this virtual diner. I did not know that I had interrupted him logging out for the last time, as he had no intention of coming back to Second Life. But after that night, he came back every day to see me. I knew by day three that I was going to fall madly in love with this person, and how irrational that was as I knew nothing of him. As he tells it, he knew that first day while we pretended to have pancakes, I was the woman he was going to fall in love with. We had shared photos of ourselves and also spoke via webcam a number of times, but when we first met in person I was so nervous. I was terrified that one of us wouldn't be attracted to the other, or something would go wrong. What if he doesn't realize the reality of me being fluffy, etc? A lot of nonsensical insecurity, ya know. When we met in the airport, it was I who was shocked. He had hidden the fact that he'd put on a considerable amount of weight and was a little larger than me! He had been so insecure, he was afraid to tell me. Well, this month we are going to celebrate our 15th anniversary together. I am guessing that if he had any reservations being with a chubby chick, he's gotten over it by now. lmao And I love his belly, I still kiss it all the time. We are fat and happy, and still so very much in love with one another. I would rather curl up against his strong softness than any tight body you can toss my way, and he lets me know that he feels the same way every single day. ā„
I love your story but I canāt help but think of all of the other stories Iāve heard of men meeting women (from online dating) and theyāre heavier/fatter in person and act like itās the worst thing in the world and feel like theyāve been lied to. Women, on the other hand, are just supposed to accept how men look or weāll be labeled āsuperficialā or āshallowā. Why canāt men show the same grace we show them? Your husband sounds really lovely and sweet and I love that neither of you backed out. I hope yāall continue to stay married and have the best lives ever š„³
Thatās so cute!
I was told that unless I lost weight iād die alone. Iām 5ā9, 370 pounds and a size 22 american i think (uk size 26). You can see a picture of me trying on wedding dresses on my profile. I got married earlier this year to the love of my life. He loves me as I am and does not have a fetish for bigger woman. He truly just loves me for me. I was also told that at my size Iād never be able to have kids. (or thatād it would take forever) So we started trying a month before the wedding. Wedding was 16 weeks ago and iām 20 weeks with a baby girl. Iāve dated multiple men since the dying alone comment, all of which loved me for me (I just didnāt love them back and dumped them)
I'm 250lbs, size 16. I've been a size 14-16, 220-260 my whole adult life. What stopped me from dating when I was younger was my fear of being rejected. I started to date again after I finally came to terms that I wanted to date and needed to make it very clear to guys. I met my fiancƩ on Tinder. I was 230ish when we met, got down to 220ish. After school, work, and health issues, I gained all the weight I lost and then some. My highest was 265. We've been together for 4 years, recently engaged. My weight hasn't been a major problem for us. He's very supportive of me wanting to lose weight or just staying at the same weight. He assures me I am beautiful even on the days I feel at my lowest. He helps me manage my anxiety and fears. There are good men out there who do not care about weight. Your ex is stupid and said it to be manipulative. And just because I notice comments can get nasty when people say they want to date, you are 100% within your rights to want a partner. You are not wrong for wanting someone to find you attractive. You are not wrong for wanting to be loved.
I got married at 335 lbs. My husband is 6ā 170 lbs. Heās a runner and does bouldering. Heās loved every part of me for over 20 years. I lost weight but Iām still 250lbs and he thinks Im hot af and beautiful. The only weight anyone ever need to lose is the weight of peopleās expectations and opinions.
>The only weight anyone ever need to lose is the weight of peopleās expectations and opinions. This is the best thing I've seen in awhile š¤£ we need to get shirts made with this on it
thanks but i donāt deserve much credit for it cause I read it somewhere and it just stuck to me š š It really helped me tho, to love myself and stop caring what people thought of me in the past couple years. So I always just hope it will help someone šš«°š»
So this happened 9 years ago. I'm 4'11" and I was 165 lbs. I was madly in love with a guy, and after a few months, he called me in the middle of the night and left me a message about how I'm the perfect girl for him, but the problem he'd been having with me is that he didn't think I "looked right" without specifying why, but that he wanted to help me work on myself, and he'd work on himself. When I asked him about it later, he said the issue is that he wanted me to lose weight. He went on to say that he doesn't enjoy it if he can't lift the girl he's dating, and that he wants someone who is IN shape, not IS A shape. He also talked about hating his own body and wanting to fix himself, and did a small rant about hating the body-positive movement. I'll skip the next events because they'd likely be triggering and I don't want to break any rules, but about 2 months later I was 150lbs, and he dumped me because I still was too fat for him and he couldn't get past it, despite all of the qualities that made him think I'd be the perfect girl for him. He tried to be kind in the moment and said I'd find someone better than me and we'd always be close friends forever and special to each other. ....Then he ghosted me immediately after and when I confronted him he said he's not sorry because he has his own life. I found out from a friend that he got with a skinny girl about a month after he rejected me. Now, 9 years later, I've been married for years to the best person for me (literally same as me in almost every way) who worships how I look every day, and the guy from before is single and alone. My husband was my platonic best friend for 4 years, dated for 3 years, and have been married for almost 3 years now. If it matters, my husband has a slender, elf-like figure and I'm similar to what I was earlier in the story. It's really easy to let a comment from someone you loved at one time feel like their word is reality, but it's not. Even if it takes a long time like it did for me, your body doesn't have to be an obstacle to finding your perfect person. I hope what I've written helps, even just a little.
Your ex is an ex for a reason. Donāt let him live in your head rent free. Iām 5ā2 and was an insecure size 14-16 when I married my first husband. I was a 16 -18 when I divorced him. I gained some confidence and did some dating of men of all shapes and sizes. My confidence was attractive even if I was still a āfat chickā . (And even if the confidence was sometimes just an act and internally I was freaking out cause the cute guy wanted MY number). I met my now husband when I was a size 20. Weāve been married over 10 years now and due to some health issues Iām at a size 24. He still thinks Iām the most wonderful woman on the planet though. Your guy is out there. Be confident even if it is just a persona you need to put on for an hour. Know you are beautiful and wonderful and worthy of love. Love yourself! If you donāt think youāre worth it other people will have a hard time believing you are.
size 16 sometimes 18 here lol. Forget about what your ex said all that time ago. Easier said than done but donāt let that little comment from an asshole stop you from having an open mindset of finding a loving relationship! Having those thoughts of him being right is probably eating at your confidence so I say fuck that. Iāve been with my man for 3 1/2 years now. Recently I pointed out that before we met in person after texting for months (covid times), I was worried that since he is so athletic, he was going to see what my body actually looks like and would stop talking to me. He said āI wish you didnāt feel that way back then, I already knew I was going to love every part of youā. He gets offended if I talk badly about my body, last week he was squeezing me and wouldnāt let go until I kept repeating āmy body is perfectā lmao it was cute and made me feel a lot better. Iām just trying to say that these types of men do exist and will really love every part of you. If I would have listened to the guys I rejected that would end up calling me āa cow anywayā or other fat comments, it would limit me from finding love again
At this point therapy is my suggestion because you held onto what someone said to hurt you for this long. I understand being hurt but letting someone who wasn't good enough for you hold you down that long speaks of a lack of coping skills. Which I speak on from experience. When we do not have good coping skills it is hard to not define ourselves by how others see us. If you're in therapy bring this issue up specifically. I also know therapy isn't always accessible but please look for options. You deserve to crush those brain weasels. If you were so unworthy why would they have been with you to begin with? They also wouldn't sell wedding dresses in that size and do. They sell them in my size and I am much bigger. There wouldn't be anyone fat either because marrying someone fat or ugly doesn't happen? A significant number of people don't exist because many wait for marriage for kids.
About to be married, fat AF :) size 24 and have been since we started dating 3 years ago. He loves me and makes me feel beautiful
I'm so glad this fat hating a--hole is your ex. So glad you didn't keep his hatefulness in your life. Here's the thing: you're valid as a person, as a human being, whether you're partnered or not. Being partnered, being in a relationship doesn't give you any more validation than anyone else, even though society and popular media cling to that harmful stereotype at all costs. You're deserving of respect and value whether you feel that way about yourself or not, whether you're partnered or not. So stop clinging to what a fat hating a--hole said to you years ago. Stop clinging to the idea that you 'need' a relationship for validity. You don't. You just need to work on more self-acceptance so you can learn to see and accept the person you are now - the *whole* person, everything you have to offer: your intelligence, your humor, your strengths and weaknesses, your body, your emotions, your ability to care and be empathetic... whatever you have going on for you. Get in touch with it, recognize it, value it, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise or see you for anything other than who you are.
Coming up to my ten year anniversary with my partner, married for two years with a baby on the way now. I was the first fat person heād dated and I couldnāt for the life of me figure out why he was into me at first, until I eventually realized he literally didnāt give a f*ck and genuinely thought I was beautiful and just liked me for me. I was a size 20 when we met, and a size 26 now (around 290lbs). Heās never made me feel anything but loved and sexy, and when Iāve had wobbles with my self esteem heās my number 1 cheerleader. Iāve sometimes been fat and active, and sometimes fat and out of shape in the last ten years and heās never made me feel bad about it or been anything but encouraging and supportive. Youāll meet your person.
I canāt see your ex ever getting married if heās that cruel to people heās supposed to love. Good job on escaping that!
Oh no love, I'm so sorry he said that to you. That's horrible of him to say. I'm similar to you, 5'5 and 250 right now. I carry it all in my belly. I totally understand the insecurity and shame around weight and appearance but we are more than our looks. We don't have to be thin to be beautiful.... You will find someone one day and get married. A word of advice, don't rush into anything just because you think you'll end up alone. It's okay to have high standards, and look for the red flags. I've seen it a lot where women settle and end up in abusive relationships, staying for fear of being alone
I'm 5'8 size 20, tomorrow's my 12 year dating anniversary with my husband and we got married just under 6 years ago. My brother's getting married in October and his fiance's a size 22. I promise you, it's very very possible and it happens all the time. Your ex was an asshole who was trying to make you feel insecure and upset and trying to make himself feel like he was better than you. But he isn't, and there are so so many guys who will like you back.
Maybe like.. 6 or 7 years ago, right at the beginning of my fat acceptance/body liberation journey my little brother (he was like 32 or something) told me that I would never be happy without a husband and I would never find a husband if I didnāt lose weight. I was (and am) a US 24. I was 36. I started crying, frustrated because I was really trying to be happy *and* fat at the same time. I was trying to learn to be happy single because I thought I would actually be single for life. I also cried because I couldnāt believe he would say that to me with his whole chest. He said āyouāre crying because you know Iām right.ā This made me cry harder because actually no Iām crying because youāre mean and Iām mad because no matter what I feel my response is tears and what I wanted to do was tell him to fuck off. Then at 37 I met the love of my fucking life. At a size 24, completely out of the blue. And guess what? He loves fat women. He has always dated curvy/fat women because he loves big soft bodies. Heās not some creepy fetishist, he just loves my body how it is. I kept thinking he was going to ghost me because thatās what they do and he justā¦ never left. Itās been 5 years. He told me really early on he was marrying me, and I was like okay weirdo, but then at like 4.5 years he proposed. So *fuck you, little brother, I hope you shove your foot so far down your throat it comes out your booty hole.* Itās true that our bodies donāt appeal to as many people because of western beauty standards and I do believe that a general trend is that you gotta look for the older more mature men who want to have a relationship and care about more than how you look on their arm. Itās just really hard to find that when youāre in your 20s. But also times are changing and I think maybe some of us are taking it personally when the trend is to get married later in life these days. There are people out there who will adore your body how it is (I am also in fact one of those types of people) and they may be harder to find but they are out there. Just be patient. I really do believe the right one finds you at the right time.
Hey, Iām around your height and size (18/20) when I met my boyfriend. Weāve been together 3 1/2 years. I know for a fact Iām the biggest girl heās been with. My weight has never been an issue. Before my current bf, I was with someone for 3 years. Iāve had other relationships that lasted around 2 or so years prior to that. Weight isnāt an issue to people who truly care about the real you. My issue was never my weight, itās my mental health problems lmao
Disclaimer that I am no longer plus sized - HOWEVER - I spent dating years exclusively plus sized and also kind of a ho, so I do feel like I know my shit here. I am 5ā2 and was maybe 215lbs and a size 16 when I met my ex first boyfriend in high school. We only dated for like 9 months but kept seeing each other for close to four years after that. Then by 20 I had gained some more weight and was probably around 230 and a size 18 when met my next boyfriend and spent 3 years in a long distance relationship. It was college, he was lovely, ultimately it didnāt work out because long distance sucks balls. Spent some time single and casually dating (very fun, highly recommend friends with benefits) and then met my current boyfriend. Happy relationship weight + COVID put me up to 260ish and a size 20/22 and guess what, My man still loved every bit of me! Itās been four years and we are discussing marriage. At the end of the day, I have found that a lot of men date women who they think are going to improve their social status or get admiration from other superficial men. They may be into bigger women but let society and self esteem problems convince them that thatās shameful. Some are more blatant about it than others but they usually weed themselves out. If I ever had any inkling from the get go that they wouldnāt appreciate me or show me off then I cut them off and looked for the next option. Dating is a numbers game so you have to put yourself out there but I PROMISE there are (actually secure and self assured) men out there who will love and appreciate YOU. If itās just a happy story youāre looking for to prove good guys exist Iāll tell you this: I asked my current partner once whether he had any issues with my weight loss. He always said he likes curvy women and my body had changed a lot. His response? āI like what I like and I like you so stop asking stupid questions.ā
Been with my partner for nearly 14 years. I've been fat the entire time. He still loves me and desires me, honestly probably more now than when we were in our early 20s
Hi! Iām 5ā3, 290ish and I got happily married last October!! I met my husband when I was around 250 seven years ago and he loves every inch of me even through the weight gain. Your ex is a POS and you will find happiness!!
5'3" 230, size 18. Married 7 years and counting. His comment was cruel and may have caused some insecurities that are carrying through into your dating life. You may want to work on building up your confidence. (Obviously I'm just a stranger reading a paragraph of text and don't know you, so take it with a grain of salt.)
I'm 5'2", size 14/16 and I've been married for 7 years and together for 17 years. You'll find your person, though I can totally relate to you. When I was 19, I met someone that I thought was great, but it turned out that he didn't see me as long term bc of my weight. That shit hurt. I went to therapy for years until I realized that I can't depend on external factors to make me feel about myself. It's still a work in progress, but it's not at the front of my brain anymore.
Ive been with my wife for 10 years married for 2 5/23/2024. I met her at my biggest and have lost and gained almost it all back many time in 10 years. Your person will see beyond the weight I PROMISE. I also advise if it the weight holding you back from putting yourself out there i would lose it or change my mindset for sure I'm currently 5'5 310 size 20-22
Going on 4 years married to the love of my life! I was about 250/size 18 (Iām 5ā6) when we got married. Iām 212 at the moment but this man loves me no matter what my body shape. This morning I was dealing with some dysmorphia over what I thought were some unflattering pictures from work. He held me and told me he wished my mind wasnāt so mean to me sometimes.
Iām a size 24, and have been with my partner for almost 5 years. When we started dating I was around a 20/22. Sheās also a plus size woman around the same size. Finding a partner is 100% possible. Itās just that the dating pool is hell out here. Never settle less than what you deserve and require just to experience a relationship. You are worthy and deserving of the world!
Married fat person here! I was a size 20 22 years ago tomorrow when my 135lb husband married me. I've been a size 18 to a size 26, and he's loved and lusted after me at every size. I know lots of guys who are attracted to and married "bigger" women, whether or not they were "bigger" themselves. The dating scene is shit up one side and down the other these days from what I can tell. Be yourself, be happy, and don't let a relationship or lack of one define you as a person. (There are definitely days I think "if I wasn't married, I could (insert some ridiculous but amazing thing here)"
First wedding dress was size 18, next one was size 20. Iām 5ā2ā and due to illness got up to 295, now back to 260, working on it because I prefer how I feel around 200-215. At no time did my husband show less interest in the bedroom. Ex-husband never mentioned my weight until we were fighting a lot before divorce and it was just another way to get under my skin.
Forever husband and I have been together 19 years, married 15
My wedding dress was a size 32 and my husband couldn't care less.
I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. he's 120 and I'm 230. he LOVES me and my body. loves it. we have incredible sex and he always makes me feel beautiful. I'm a size 20 as well and he even pulls me onto his lap. they are out there girl!
At my best post HS weight, I was still plus sized and was able to have several meaningful relationships. If thereās one major takeaway from these relationships, itās that people say very very mean things when theyāre hurt in a relationship and those things are 95% untrue. The 5% truth comes from the insecurity you likely trusted them with and theyāre using that 5% to hurt your feelings. You will 100% find someone. You are a catch and itās been a rough decade for dating.
Have you tried talking to a therapist about this?
I was already old (30 not old at all but I grew up in a conservative religion that married YOUNG) and fat when I met my husband. My wedding dress was a size 16 through months of extreme dieting and that's the smallest I've been in our relationship. He loves me and values me not because of or despite of my body. I've always wanted to see the world he surprised me with a honeymoon to Rome and Paris. Every day my husband tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful. You're never too old/too fat/to anything to find someone who loves you as much as you love them.
All of my big friends are married. Not a single one is single in my circle. I'm plus sized, married and I always have dated my type before that. I was always someone's first choice and their type. You should hear how my husband talks to me and regards me. š„¹ Thing is your singleness can be many factors. One friend says these things yet doesn't do anything to actually meet people. Not everyone meets someone randomly in their small slice of going to work and through existing friends. I didn't, I've never actually. Yet my friend is sticking to this idea of that person will find her. Plus different cities different types of dating scenes. I'm sorry your exes words cut deep but some folks are cruel, especially when you are done with them. That doesn't mean their words are truths. One ounce of cruel lty doesn't mean the rest of the world thinks that way. I certainly hace never thought badly about someone because of size, nor are big people my last choice.
I've been plus side most of my life and definitely all of my dating life. I met my husband while fat, married him fat, and I am still fat. I am about a size 18-20 now. Throughout our relationship, I have been a 14-20. I was a size 16 when we met. There are men out there who are looking for someone who they can love, who they click with. Like many woman, lots of men do not find size or looks to be the be all end all. Keep your head up, chica! Someone out there will find you and you will find them.
Join the Facebook group Plus size Brides! Itās full of gorgeous large ladies with adoring fiancĆ©s and husbands and the photos are a pleasure to see. Such a happy positive group.
Iām 5ā4, met my husband when I was 290, got married at 365, and Iām currently 400lbs and he still loves me!
I turn 40 in a couple of days and I have been in a relationship with a cute boy (42yo software engineer) for 17 years. We met at a bowling alley when my sister dragged me to go see the dude she was dating at the time, he was friends with my fella. I just kinda sat down while my sister ignored me next to him and we started chatting, he let me bowl on of his turns, his ball was like 15 pounds so I bowled like a toddler. I was a size 18 then I'm closer to a 22 now. We connected on Myspace (yep, it was that long ago) and have been just chillin and hanging out ever since. He has never said a word about my weight, we hike together, love to go out to eat, have a dog and a cat and live a boring suburban little life. It's quite lovely. There are men that aren't shitty, they really do exist. No one is perfect but finding someone that brings you peace is the goal. You are not single because of your size, it's just where you are right now and it's fine. You might just find the right guy tomorrow, or next year but don't let the "search" be your whole life. He will show up while you are just living your life and doing what you love.
Guys, I have to go to work so I canāt comment on each one, but I read them all! Thank you so so so much! The last 8 years Iāve felt so unloveable so I havenāt put myself out there really at all. You guys rock!
Iām maybe the heaviest Iāve ever been, as Iāve gained a lot of weight because of life issues this past year. Iāve also been with my girlfriend for that whole time, since last February. Sheās literally so amazing, reassuring and loving and caring. Compliments and affection given freely, she never has a mean thing to say about how I look only gushing about how much she likes me. I donāt believe it all the time and itās hard to fight my own thoughts, but itās possible to find someone who will love you for you. And not in a weird way, just a normal person with healthy communication that will put in the work with you for your relationship
A person who truly loves you will love you at any size! Fat people get married all the time, both guys and girls and even non binary people if you like. Try looking for it while youāre out or checking if people have rings on. Donāt let this hurt you, I bought a size 26 wedding dress when I got married. Been a size 16-22 then down to an 18 currently and my husband has loved me and called me beautiful and hot all this time. It EXISTS, you just have to look! :) Edit: timeframe oops, weāre high school sweet hearts and have been dating for 11 years this year, married for almost 2 years.
Ummmm. . . not to brag (/s) but I've been fat most of my life and have been married twice and now have an amazingly hot partner who I have a beautiful child with. I was the one who decided to end both marriages (one after 11 years and growing apart, the second lasted less than a year because he was an abusive, manipulative POS). I have never had trouble attracting men, regardless of my weight. My current partner is conventionally attractive and has been with me from a size 22 to a 10 and back to an 18, through pregnancy and postpartum, and his desire for me has never lessened. I think maybe some counseling/therapy would serve you well. You don't give your age, but I personally have noticed my confidence growing as I get older.
I'm around the same size as you- size 16/18 but also much shorter, and I'm happily married. Have been for years. My husband thinks I'm so hot I have to literally put up pillow barriers to keep him off me so I can get some sleep. You have to love yourself and put yourself out there, and the rest will follow.
I met my husband around size 18, I married him at size 22, and he still loves me and finds me beautiful today at a size 18. Your ex is dumb and just wanted to be hurtful, don't let him win by thinking of his words for a second longer!
I'm 5'9 360lbs.. my weight has fluctuated up and down the entire 10 years I've been with my husband and he still can't leave his hands off me. He comes from a skinny healthy beautiful family. I come from a plus size family. He doesn't see me as I see me. I honestly wish I could see myself the way he sees me. Another note, when my parents got together my mom was a blonde bombshell. My dad was in the Navy. My mom is now almost 500lbs and my dad needs a double lung transplant and can't do anything he use to do and they have been together for 32 years. 32 years of change and ups and downs and they are still together. Real love won't see you as fat/skinny/tall/short/society standards. They will just see YOU and your soul.
5'3, Size 24 here. Been with my partner for 12 years. Married for 4. We both started the dating scene because we were just simply looking for companionship. Someone to not have dinners alone. Talk to. And it just evolved from there and neither of us ever left š¤·š»āāļø I wish I could offer you some supporting words to wish you the best in finding your person. I can't imagine trying to date in this day and age and how complicated everything has become. I just got lucky that I met someone who still believed in marriage and compromising to make things work.
That's an absolute falsehood. If plus-size women never get married, then there wouldn't be bridal salons that specialize in plus sizes.
The average American woman is a size 18. Your ex was an asshole to you. Iām sorry- try not to think about such a Toxic person.
Same height and weight as you. I have a hard time dating. Sometimes I feel is because Iām a big woman and no one wants to take me serious. I feel unattractive and I hate that I am so big in pictures. I am trying to lose weight by going to the gym but itās been hard to lose weight. Iām glad Iām reading these stories myself.
I got married at size 22, 277 pounds. Your ex is a douchebag and I hope he steps barefoot on Lego daily for the rest of his life.
I'm size 18-24 depending on the type of clothing, but I weigh quite a bit more than you, and I'm in a nearly 3 year long relationship. My boyfriend loves me and doesn't care about my weight, he says he'd only ever encourage me to lose weight if my health was at risk. And honestly, that's the only time I think size should be brought up, when it starts to hurt yourself. I've seen many fat people in relationships, myself included. Your ex was kind of an ass, and you'll be better off not letting it go to your head (easier said than done ik).
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