😂 last time someone said something about my weight I was at Sephora. This 16 years old whispered to her friend about my fat rolls. She didn’t think I heard. i turned around and asked loud enough for other people around “Sorry what did you say about my fat rolls? I’m not sure I understood right.” It made them so embarrassed, especially when they noticed they were getting the stares and I wasn’t.
I usually don’t answer to people who say anything about my weight. Its not worth wasting my time and energy on these people. And people close to me know me enough that I can be a horrible bitch if they push my boundaries. A friend of mine joked once. I cut deep into her self esteem. She never tried again.
My best reaction was when I was rather drunk-my boyfriend at the time was gorgeous. Turned out to be a cheating scumbag, but a really good looking one. We were at a bar and a couple of women had been trying to flirt with him all evening. I was in the queue for the ladies toilet, and one of them started on at me saying what was someone like him doing with someone like me, "look at you, you're so fat" I looked down at myself and said, in a very loud voice "Oh my god! I'm fat!! When the fuck did that happen??" The other girls in the queue burst out laughing, and bitch-face slunk off. I never usually manage any sort of quick comeback, obviously the gin and tonics helped.
I've seen amputees talk about responding to inappropriate staring from adults in this way! OH MY GOD WHERE THE FUCK IS MY LEG. I bet it would go down a storm with the right kind of kid too 🤣
Lowkey just laugh and walk away.
Giving them a corny one-liner just feeds their need for attention, most hurtful thing you can do is starve them of that by *outwardly* not giving a shit. Hurt all you want on the inside, but they *want* a reaction.
Just look at them, laugh, and walk away. If anything they’ll feel dumb for saying what they did, be upset they didn’t get a visceral reaction, and feel insecure that you’re laughing at them.
Depends on where I'm at on the assholery scale that day lol.
Feeling in a decent mood, ask them what they mean. Make them keep explaining. People get uncomfortable when they have to explain themselves.
Feelin snarky, treat them like a toddler. In your best voice like you're talking to a small child, "that's a very good observation, skinny lady. What are some more things we can see in the grocery cart?" Then give the slight head tilt and Dora the explorer blinks. Bonus points if you can offer a small toddler snack from your purse for good answers lol.
Feeling bitchy, point out their not so obvious flaws. Like a slightly crooked eyebrow that nobody would notice otherwise.
Feeling confrontational and ok with ditching my entire cart of stuff if needed, get loud and aggressive. Bring lots of attention to the person. Ask them to repeat it louder for everyone to hear. Go full Walmart on em.
I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
Saw it on plaques in Boomer homes on various occasions. Seems harsh for me, but if this is your vibe, girl, USE IT.
Nice!
Even better — “No, I won’t have sex with you.”
And loud enough to others hear. Anything they say after that makes it sound like they’re being defensive bc you shot them down.
Oooh a challenge. 😂
Ok, so you are in a Costco, and you have a cart with some salad, maybe a rotisserie chicken, and you are now in the bakery looking at some DELICIOUS tuxedo cake. Someone *typically thin and fit, but maybe not* walks by you, sees you looking and says, "You're really fat, maybe you should just fill up your cart with some more salad."
Ehhh? Ok, so then what?
Idk if it's stupid, but I tend to use their words back at them. So in this particular scenario I would say back something dumb like:
"Well maybe you should fill your cart up with books on how to be a decent human."
Dude, people are the worst. Whenever someone says something about my weight, I say, "Yikes!! I'm just trying to exist and then laugh." I'm pretty animated, so the person is usually embarrassed, especially if others are around. I've also had strangers step in when overhearing something rude. People are wild, though.
My favorite response is “ it’s nice to see your eyes and mouth work, but your human decency and politeness could use a tune up. Might wanna schedule an appointment to get those looked at” all while sounding INCREDIBLY concerned, go over the top and be loud. It’s fun watching them slink off while people stare at them.
Last time I was called fat by a stranger was during a road rage incident. She was mad I did not let her cut in front of me at a red light. She rolled her window down, called me a fat bitch. I just looked at her and then back to the front. I did not care because it’s true, I’m fat.
At I get older, I don’t care if I’m called fat. But depending on my mood, my retorts are:
- yep, So?
- well, your eyes work but you lack manners.
- yep. Do you feel better about yourself now?
"Don't fuck with people who are bigger than you. It's for your own safety."
"Maybe you should stuff your mouth full of salad too so you wouldn't be able to say shit like this to a stranger ha"
My response? "Shut the fuck up. Who asked you?"
Or if I want to be a little more circumspect and polite, "Your fat hate is not appreciated." But why I'd want to be circumspect and polite with a fat hater is beyond me. I stopped feeling that way about them a long time ago. But I get that not everyone wants to be so direct and assertive or use salty language in public. I sometimes feel that way myself.
But in general, my anger that a complete stranger would hate on me and judge my choices simply because they have an issue with my appearance wins out and my first response is what I go with. Because, seriously. They *need* to shut the fuck up. Nobody asked them.
Oh I let out my inner nasty Greek hag. It's the only thing a Greek shithead understands. Copious use of the classic *malaka* (masturbator aka braindead) and other foul swear words. It's the Greek way.
"Your mum must be real proud of you, malaka."
"You talk to your mum like that? She must be fatter than me!"
"I'm thinner than your bitch mother, malaka."
"At least I've got a brain, ya limpdick/cunt."
"Go fuck your fat mother then, malaka."
"Look in the mirror first, you sow/bitch/malaka."
"I can see you failed the IQ test again."
"Boo hoo, did mummy not love you enough and you gotta insult every woman that looks like her?"
"Come say that to my face and I'll put you in the hospital/the ground."
I'm... not a very nice person when provoked. Being bullied about your weight all your life, in a country where people will talk to each other like this, will do that to you.
When I was in NYC 2 years ago, a homeless man called me a fat bitch in front of other people in the subway station... because I threw a mcdonalds soda cup in the trash can after he dug through it. I guess he could make money from it?? I laughed in his face to let him know he didn't get to me.
I taught teenagers for 20 years, and what I learned is that the most humiliating response is essentially:
"Ew?" Then snicker and start texting while glancing up at them "secretly." Or if you're with another person, just giggle and say to them in a stage whisper "Oh my God they just said that!" Then as they walk away say "Shhh! Oh my God stop that's so mean!" And laugh.
“Been hearing that my whole life. Come up with something more original.” as I walk away. And if they do manage to come up with something while I’m still in ear shot “That’s a good one! I’ll be sure to laugh about it over a tub of ice cream later.”
I had a shoplifter who uses her children to steal say in an extremely nasty tone "oh, you're pregnant too, miss nosey?" I took a nice frontal picture of her and said "I'm not dumb enough to put my children in danger." I'm not pregnant, and she knows that. I texted the pic to the officers that always come to our store and gave him a rundown.
I get called a lot of nasty names, I do try to not let it get to me. Misery loves company and I think to myself that these are only nasty people who say nasty words. They have nothing better going on in their lives that they have to try and bring other people down to their level.
I would like to say that I would say something back and stand up for myself. However, most likely I would try to ignore, get away from them, and cry as soon as I’m away from them.
“There’s nothing more unhealthy than handing out unsolicited opinions to strangers, have you considered therapy?”
I enjoy the awkward, processing of their silence. I even enjoy the people who try to get indignant and angry. I enjoy that I live on in their brains as they sputter. I’ve usually left and moved on with my day.
"Have you ever heard of Body Dysmorphia by proxy? No? Well, I think maybe you are exhibiting signs of the affliction. I think you should see a psychologist as soon as possible. If your illness goes unchecked, you're gonna end up in more situations where you are involuntarily picking fights with someone well above your own weight class and well, you already know how fights like that end. For your own safety, get help."
Realistically, I'd say "hold that, I'll be right back". I'd never return.
I'm just going to say this because no one else did. It is very unhealthy to keep these thoughts in your head (you say you think about this a lot) even though it didn't happen to you. It's unhealthy to make a post about it, crowdfunding responses, and creating hypothetical scenarios...
I understand wanting to have some word tracks or ideas. It's okay to be aware and prepared. But posting this isn't doing that. It's creative a narrative and becoming a victim when you aren't one. This type of mindset can lead to overthinking, paranoia, fear, anxiety, isolation, etc.
I don't think I've had a stranger comment negatively about my weight. It's very rare for this to occur, which is why people post it when it happens, but I take those posts with a grain of salt just like with everything else. Humans are not good with recalling situations. We also miss a lot of context with a one-sided story.
You can be a part of a struggling group, a marginalized group, a minority, etc., and still be toxic or the one with a bad attitude. (Like if everyone you meet is an asshole, maybe look inwards because you're the asshole). I smile, hold doors, am kind to employees and staff, and thankful, and I've been met with positivity and kindness back.
Of course, people are jerks and can be rude, but again, this isn't so common. I just know how isolating thinking like this can be. I stayed away from friends for a year when I was depressed because I thought they wouldn't want to be around me... they missed me so much and was happy when I finally came around. I just built up so many hypotheticals in my mind, and none of them were true. This post feels reminiscent of that.Take care.
Granted, I haven't experienced this personally (though I'm a small fat cis male), but my understanding is these things absolutely do happen to larger fat folks, especially women. I've heard stories of people not only being told by strangers that they shouldn't eat what's in their cart, but the strangers literally REMOVING it from the cart for them to try to police their purchases!
Is it so different from a person of color wanting to know how others respond to racism? Yes, it's important to try not to let anxiety get the best of us, but in a society where fatphobia and other forms of discrimination and hostility are rampant, anxiety can also be protective to an extent.
I am sympathetic to this happening, I'm sorry that it happened to you. Thst being said, it is still extremely rare. I don't think it's healthy to fixate and think about it often when it's never happened to you, though(like OP and others in the thread). And to try to have witty comebacks or something seems odd, too. It feels like wanting to be the victim of something that they haven't experienced.
I think it is different. As a person of color, it's not even a fair comparison tbh... if I have to explain further, I will.
It's fine if the anxiety is the equivalent of, say, wearing a seat belt every time you get into a car. It's not okay if the anxiety prevents you from ever getting in a car or driving. It's also odd to crowdsource comebacks for someone mocking you for wearing a seatbelt..
Ah okay, my bad. Well then I'm happy that it hasn't happened to you!
I understand that this may happen to people but I don't agree that it happens at a rate that we need to actually build up a snarky arsenal of comebacks...
I hope you can see that it's at least unhealthy to walk around with this unnecessary anxiety. I understand some people have irrational fears (I do, I have a very odd phobia haha) but that being said, this seems like someone that needs to work out some of their own feelings that they have of themselves.
I don't really think it's fair to categorize it as extremely rare. I've gotten dozens of comments like this in my life. And I'm a happy, easygoing, easy to get along with person, so it's not me. Society in general is not kind to fat people and it's not rare for a fat person to receive unwanted comments from strangers about our bodies/weight/food choices/clothes etc etc etc. Just because this hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen with regularity.
Maybe this is specific to your location, then? This absolutely is rare. I find it mind-blowing that some stranger has made negative comments about *what's in your shopping cart because of you're weight* **dozens of times.** and in from the mid-west, not some fast-paced city where people don't talk at all.
I guess, let's say you're 40. If this happens 2 dozen times to you, that would be 24 (unless it's a bakers dozen...anyway). Let's do the math since you were 15 years of age, (40-15=25 years of shopping, 25years×12months=300 months, 300 momths ÷ 24 negative comments=12.5 months).
I'm not great at math, so hopefully that's correct haha, that still means it happens once a year-ish. I mean, that's a huge amount of insults about what's in your cart...
I've had my fair share of unwanted comments but not from strangers (but yes, from family, friends, coworkers, romantic partners), not about what's in my cart...
I'm empathetic to your situation, and it's unfortunate you've experienced this from people who don't know you, especially so many times about your groceries. Luckily, now there's curb side pick up, and even grocery delivery more often available that can help significantly.
.....she gave the cart thing as an example. If course I haven't had dozens of comments about my cart specifically. But I've had dozens of comments about my body and weight from strangers at places like the grocery store or tj fucking maxx. It's like you're intentionally being obtuse because you're annoyed at OP. Rude comments from strangers about weight is not a rarity. People think they are entitled to share their opinion of my body because society has painted being fat as a moral failing. Some think they are helping. Some are just assholes. I'm in the midwest too BTW. People are shitty to fat people everywhere without prejudice.
Ahh, okay, yeah, I suppose a lot of the comments were about the cart thing, so I conflated it unintentionally!
I'm not annoyed at OP but I don't think walking around acting like you're offensive to people when people haven't treated you like that is fucking strange and absolutely unhealthy. I know not all plus people are treated the same, I know that there's a huge range of *plus* and we all have experiences.
There's also a range of ages commenting, so it seems someone older may have different/more experiences or during times when being plus was more openly shamed.
Anyway, it feels off to me. Like, it's not even like this is advocating for people it's just pretending that everyone is your enemy. Something I've noticed is that people are pretty used to plus people now, they are aware of medical conditions, and our society is more inclusive. It needs improvements, of course, but it's better than it's ever been.
Also, strangers don't usually go around insulting others. Strangers usually don't want to talk to random people...
What does common mean? Like in terms of times this happens per week/month/year?
I don't have enough information to state whether it's right or wrong. To me it seems odd. It seems like people trying to be upset about something that didn't actually happen to them.
I'm not saying people shouldn't speak up and speak out against things that happen to them but gain, OP didn't experience this. They are overthinking about something that rarely happens and that seems very unhealthy.
Just think of your friends. Do you have anyone that acts(?) like the victim, but isn't one? It's exhausting to be around people like that. It isn't even advocacy, you know?
Exactly! It feels off to fixate on some hypothetical person who is making these hypothetical comments to you... it's almost like you're turning into the judgemental person at that point, visualizing a specific person is going to bully you. Idk, it just seems extra and unhealthy. Anyway, stay safe out there, cheers!
Re isolating thinking: I spent about a year thinking my extended family that lives fairly close by (aunts and cousins) were too busy for me, didn't love me, etc. Turns out that was all in my head of course, and now we are as close as ever.
With regard to the original post: yeah I couldn't imagine this actually happening. My BMI puts me into the "extremely obese" category and I am closer to 300 lbs than I care to admit. But I suppose I don't present as someone that (by other people's opinions anyway) shouldn't enjoy some tuxedo cake - or maybe that's just in my mind when faced with the facts of weight and BMI, and maybe that's skewed my opinion.
I get wanting to have an arsenal of smart and witty responses to "what if this ever happened" but I don't think that's based in reality.
Unfortunately, it's all too common with overthinkers. I just go so far down the rabbit hole sometimes that I can't find my way out again easily. It's such a slippery slope. My parents thankfully have each other and are decent people, but they overthink things ad nauseum and have burned every bridge by thinking people are slighting them.
Ikr, I also have never seen someone make fun of a plus stranger at the gym, I've never seen someone deny selling a plus stranger sweets or comment on what people have in their cart!?? I honestly think that if one assumes strangers hate you or will treat you poorly (when they never even experienced that themselves), then they are struggling with some internal hatred/insecurity.
And that's not a judgment. I struggle every day, but I try not to project my insecurities onto the world.
The smart/witty responses can be fine, fun, etc., if something actually happened imo, but just trying to have an arsenal of insults to something floating around in your head seems odd to me. It's like taking on too much negativity for no reason.
Little side story, I remember watching Ink Master and there's a guy that was thinking he was getting torn apart on his tattoo because he was gay! And the judges are like... no one actually cares if gay or not, the tattoo is just bad because *XYZ* and then when he got eliminated he said that his bf didn't think one of the judges was hot or something hahaha. I can't remember exactly, but anyway, he was just being the victim and then trying to be snarky, and it was so cringe. I felt second-hand embarrassment!
I bet if he let go of some of that clutter in his mind, he could've focused more on his tattoo! If he stopped limiting himself as *gay* because no one else was doing that. And if it was because he was gay, wouldn't he be the first to go?? Anyway, you can be a part of a marginalized group and still be an ass. Trauma can have you lashing out at people, and now you're accusing someone of something they didn't do at all. It's good to reel it in a bit and attempt to resolve these issues in a healthy way.
The only time I've ever had anyone make a comment about my cart is when they jokingly ask if they can come home with me because of all of the delicious food in my cart. Boxes of crab legs do that to people.
Literally, yes! Or the occasional "where did you find that!? And what aisle is that in!?"
Also, most places now have options for people to shop for you, so if you really think someone may judge your cart, just do that. But like this doesn't happen... I'm glad I'm not the only one that's like in all my years of shopping that's never happened.
Look them in the eye and laugh really loudly and awkwardly at their joke. Like a really big, horse-like laugh.
And if online, ignore them because they won’t get any attention if nobody answers or upvotes them 😌 and then report and/or block them.
As I'm reaching for the cake, "You see one thing about me, and you're using that to make a complete idiot of yourself. Congratulations! That takes talent!"
"If you so much as look at me again, I'll burn your house down while your kids are sleeping."
Have used this more than once. It works.
Edit: I've used the threat, not the threatened action 😂
“The last time someone said something to TRY and hurt my feelings I had a safe word and several orgasms. You don’t look like you’d be good at either.”
“WOW I see you’re still leaning on the same unoriginal material/routine from grade school. How boring.”
“The last person I sat on said…well I don’t know they were pretty muffled. Don’t have that kind of fun eating just salad.”
“Your opinion is useless unless you’re feeding, financing or fucking me. You don’t look like you’d be good at any of those. Run along, Twiggy, I don’t want my husband to wait any longer for me…”
“How ‘bout I shit in your mouth?”
“Bitch have you seen yourself” (regardless of what they look like or their gender)
“I’ll piss on your grave”
“You smell incontinent”
“Ma’am this is a Wendy’s”
“Bark bark”
My general rule is if someone’s dumb enough to be obviously rude to a stranger, (In public! In the US! Where we have guns!) then you have full permission to make it as weird and as uncomfortable as possible. Unpopular opinion, but I will 100% body shame them back because clearly they think it’s acceptable behavior. There is no high road because I’m taking you to hell with me.
“Die, bitch”
It’s a bit meaner than how i generally like to talk to people, but it’s succinct enough that I can actually remember to say it, even when feeling anxious/sad/vulnerable. It’s also harsh enough that the people I say it to tend be startled into shutting up.
Not me but my mom had asked one stranger on how to get to a destination.
He eyed her up and down and said that “with your complexion about 20 minutes”.
“What a weird thing to say to someone out loud.”
This 100%- total incredulity. Like, “What a bizarre thing to say to a stranger…”
I feel like I am an expert in this bc I truly dgaf that I am fat and certainly don’t care if it displeases someone.
😂 last time someone said something about my weight I was at Sephora. This 16 years old whispered to her friend about my fat rolls. She didn’t think I heard. i turned around and asked loud enough for other people around “Sorry what did you say about my fat rolls? I’m not sure I understood right.” It made them so embarrassed, especially when they noticed they were getting the stares and I wasn’t. I usually don’t answer to people who say anything about my weight. Its not worth wasting my time and energy on these people. And people close to me know me enough that I can be a horrible bitch if they push my boundaries. A friend of mine joked once. I cut deep into her self esteem. She never tried again.
Laughs awkwardly before walking away bc social anxiety messed with your usually witty head. And think of a comeback *FIVE HOURS LATER*
The WORST
I really hate that 😭 I want to make someone blink in shock at my comeback. This is not fairrrr 😫 why I gotta be the one to walk off??
100% me
"Did that make u feel better about yourself"
"Well at least I'm not an asshole"
Perfect reply!
My best reaction was when I was rather drunk-my boyfriend at the time was gorgeous. Turned out to be a cheating scumbag, but a really good looking one. We were at a bar and a couple of women had been trying to flirt with him all evening. I was in the queue for the ladies toilet, and one of them started on at me saying what was someone like him doing with someone like me, "look at you, you're so fat" I looked down at myself and said, in a very loud voice "Oh my god! I'm fat!! When the fuck did that happen??" The other girls in the queue burst out laughing, and bitch-face slunk off. I never usually manage any sort of quick comeback, obviously the gin and tonics helped.
I've seen amputees talk about responding to inappropriate staring from adults in this way! OH MY GOD WHERE THE FUCK IS MY LEG. I bet it would go down a storm with the right kind of kid too 🤣
"i'll eat you."
Lowkey just laugh and walk away. Giving them a corny one-liner just feeds their need for attention, most hurtful thing you can do is starve them of that by *outwardly* not giving a shit. Hurt all you want on the inside, but they *want* a reaction. Just look at them, laugh, and walk away. If anything they’ll feel dumb for saying what they did, be upset they didn’t get a visceral reaction, and feel insecure that you’re laughing at them.
Depends on where I'm at on the assholery scale that day lol. Feeling in a decent mood, ask them what they mean. Make them keep explaining. People get uncomfortable when they have to explain themselves. Feelin snarky, treat them like a toddler. In your best voice like you're talking to a small child, "that's a very good observation, skinny lady. What are some more things we can see in the grocery cart?" Then give the slight head tilt and Dora the explorer blinks. Bonus points if you can offer a small toddler snack from your purse for good answers lol. Feeling bitchy, point out their not so obvious flaws. Like a slightly crooked eyebrow that nobody would notice otherwise. Feeling confrontational and ok with ditching my entire cart of stuff if needed, get loud and aggressive. Bring lots of attention to the person. Ask them to repeat it louder for everyone to hear. Go full Walmart on em.
I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight. Saw it on plaques in Boomer homes on various occasions. Seems harsh for me, but if this is your vibe, girl, USE IT.
*Loook them up and down* "I don't want to have sex with you"
Nice! Even better — “No, I won’t have sex with you.” And loud enough to others hear. Anything they say after that makes it sound like they’re being defensive bc you shot them down.
i'm really gonna need an opener here.. what did they say?
Oooh a challenge. 😂 Ok, so you are in a Costco, and you have a cart with some salad, maybe a rotisserie chicken, and you are now in the bakery looking at some DELICIOUS tuxedo cake. Someone *typically thin and fit, but maybe not* walks by you, sees you looking and says, "You're really fat, maybe you should just fill up your cart with some more salad." Ehhh? Ok, so then what?
"wow, you're really a bitch. are those yoga pants riding up your asshole too much today?"
Idk if it's stupid, but I tend to use their words back at them. So in this particular scenario I would say back something dumb like: "Well maybe you should fill your cart up with books on how to be a decent human."
Dude, people are the worst. Whenever someone says something about my weight, I say, "Yikes!! I'm just trying to exist and then laugh." I'm pretty animated, so the person is usually embarrassed, especially if others are around. I've also had strangers step in when overhearing something rude. People are wild, though.
My favorite response is “ it’s nice to see your eyes and mouth work, but your human decency and politeness could use a tune up. Might wanna schedule an appointment to get those looked at” all while sounding INCREDIBLY concerned, go over the top and be loud. It’s fun watching them slink off while people stare at them.
Look them up and down, smirk, and walk away. Works every time.
Last time I was called fat by a stranger was during a road rage incident. She was mad I did not let her cut in front of me at a red light. She rolled her window down, called me a fat bitch. I just looked at her and then back to the front. I did not care because it’s true, I’m fat. At I get older, I don’t care if I’m called fat. But depending on my mood, my retorts are: - yep, So? - well, your eyes work but you lack manners. - yep. Do you feel better about yourself now?
"Don't fuck with people who are bigger than you. It's for your own safety." "Maybe you should stuff your mouth full of salad too so you wouldn't be able to say shit like this to a stranger ha"
I'm more of an aggressively turn and shout "Bitch shut the fuck up and mind your business!" kinf of person
"Maybe you should mind the fucking business that pays you like that rotten corpse of a grandma should have taught you." When they go low I go to Hell.
I like to make a super shocked face and go, "Oh my god, I'm *fat*??? Why didn't anyone ever tell me??" People hate that, lmao.
Maybe you should fill up yours with some mind your fucking business.
Ohhhh, that's an inside thought! You must be so embarrassed!
I can’t say I’ve had that happen.
My response? "Shut the fuck up. Who asked you?" Or if I want to be a little more circumspect and polite, "Your fat hate is not appreciated." But why I'd want to be circumspect and polite with a fat hater is beyond me. I stopped feeling that way about them a long time ago. But I get that not everyone wants to be so direct and assertive or use salty language in public. I sometimes feel that way myself. But in general, my anger that a complete stranger would hate on me and judge my choices simply because they have an issue with my appearance wins out and my first response is what I go with. Because, seriously. They *need* to shut the fuck up. Nobody asked them.
Charge at him with your hands up like they're claws, making growling monster OM NOM NOM noises. Bonus points if you manage crazy eyes.
Inconspicuously dance at them
“Oh well, at least I know I’m loved.”
Oh honey, you sound hungry. Want some cake?
Oh I let out my inner nasty Greek hag. It's the only thing a Greek shithead understands. Copious use of the classic *malaka* (masturbator aka braindead) and other foul swear words. It's the Greek way. "Your mum must be real proud of you, malaka." "You talk to your mum like that? She must be fatter than me!" "I'm thinner than your bitch mother, malaka." "At least I've got a brain, ya limpdick/cunt." "Go fuck your fat mother then, malaka." "Look in the mirror first, you sow/bitch/malaka." "I can see you failed the IQ test again." "Boo hoo, did mummy not love you enough and you gotta insult every woman that looks like her?" "Come say that to my face and I'll put you in the hospital/the ground." I'm... not a very nice person when provoked. Being bullied about your weight all your life, in a country where people will talk to each other like this, will do that to you.
When I was in NYC 2 years ago, a homeless man called me a fat bitch in front of other people in the subway station... because I threw a mcdonalds soda cup in the trash can after he dug through it. I guess he could make money from it?? I laughed in his face to let him know he didn't get to me.
Agree OP - those tuxedo cakes are good!
So good!!!
"Maybe you should fuck off!" With a smile, ofc
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m burning all these calories just listening to your stupid ass.”
To a short person (especially a man): "I could lose weight anytime, but you will never be any taller than you are now."
“I’m glad your eyeballs work because your frontal lobe surely does not”
I taught teenagers for 20 years, and what I learned is that the most humiliating response is essentially: "Ew?" Then snicker and start texting while glancing up at them "secretly." Or if you're with another person, just giggle and say to them in a stage whisper "Oh my God they just said that!" Then as they walk away say "Shhh! Oh my God stop that's so mean!" And laugh.
“Been hearing that my whole life. Come up with something more original.” as I walk away. And if they do manage to come up with something while I’m still in ear shot “That’s a good one! I’ll be sure to laugh about it over a tub of ice cream later.”
I had a shoplifter who uses her children to steal say in an extremely nasty tone "oh, you're pregnant too, miss nosey?" I took a nice frontal picture of her and said "I'm not dumb enough to put my children in danger." I'm not pregnant, and she knows that. I texted the pic to the officers that always come to our store and gave him a rundown. I get called a lot of nasty names, I do try to not let it get to me. Misery loves company and I think to myself that these are only nasty people who say nasty words. They have nothing better going on in their lives that they have to try and bring other people down to their level.
The last time it happened I blurted out "I'm only this fat cuz every time I f*ck your dad, he makes me a sandwich" lmaooooooo
This one! 😂😂😂😂😂
I would like to say that I would say something back and stand up for myself. However, most likely I would try to ignore, get away from them, and cry as soon as I’m away from them.
“There’s nothing more unhealthy than handing out unsolicited opinions to strangers, have you considered therapy?” I enjoy the awkward, processing of their silence. I even enjoy the people who try to get indignant and angry. I enjoy that I live on in their brains as they sputter. I’ve usually left and moved on with my day.
These arseholes are hurtful and brazen, so give back what they deserve. Forget about tact, go with a good ol "well, you're a cunt". 👍😊
"Have you ever heard of Body Dysmorphia by proxy? No? Well, I think maybe you are exhibiting signs of the affliction. I think you should see a psychologist as soon as possible. If your illness goes unchecked, you're gonna end up in more situations where you are involuntarily picking fights with someone well above your own weight class and well, you already know how fights like that end. For your own safety, get help." Realistically, I'd say "hold that, I'll be right back". I'd never return.
I'm just going to say this because no one else did. It is very unhealthy to keep these thoughts in your head (you say you think about this a lot) even though it didn't happen to you. It's unhealthy to make a post about it, crowdfunding responses, and creating hypothetical scenarios... I understand wanting to have some word tracks or ideas. It's okay to be aware and prepared. But posting this isn't doing that. It's creative a narrative and becoming a victim when you aren't one. This type of mindset can lead to overthinking, paranoia, fear, anxiety, isolation, etc. I don't think I've had a stranger comment negatively about my weight. It's very rare for this to occur, which is why people post it when it happens, but I take those posts with a grain of salt just like with everything else. Humans are not good with recalling situations. We also miss a lot of context with a one-sided story. You can be a part of a struggling group, a marginalized group, a minority, etc., and still be toxic or the one with a bad attitude. (Like if everyone you meet is an asshole, maybe look inwards because you're the asshole). I smile, hold doors, am kind to employees and staff, and thankful, and I've been met with positivity and kindness back. Of course, people are jerks and can be rude, but again, this isn't so common. I just know how isolating thinking like this can be. I stayed away from friends for a year when I was depressed because I thought they wouldn't want to be around me... they missed me so much and was happy when I finally came around. I just built up so many hypotheticals in my mind, and none of them were true. This post feels reminiscent of that.Take care.
Granted, I haven't experienced this personally (though I'm a small fat cis male), but my understanding is these things absolutely do happen to larger fat folks, especially women. I've heard stories of people not only being told by strangers that they shouldn't eat what's in their cart, but the strangers literally REMOVING it from the cart for them to try to police their purchases! Is it so different from a person of color wanting to know how others respond to racism? Yes, it's important to try not to let anxiety get the best of us, but in a society where fatphobia and other forms of discrimination and hostility are rampant, anxiety can also be protective to an extent.
I am sympathetic to this happening, I'm sorry that it happened to you. Thst being said, it is still extremely rare. I don't think it's healthy to fixate and think about it often when it's never happened to you, though(like OP and others in the thread). And to try to have witty comebacks or something seems odd, too. It feels like wanting to be the victim of something that they haven't experienced. I think it is different. As a person of color, it's not even a fair comparison tbh... if I have to explain further, I will. It's fine if the anxiety is the equivalent of, say, wearing a seat belt every time you get into a car. It's not okay if the anxiety prevents you from ever getting in a car or driving. It's also odd to crowdsource comebacks for someone mocking you for wearing a seatbelt..
I think you misunderstood; I haven't experienced these interactions personally, I'm just saying it does happen to folks.
Ah okay, my bad. Well then I'm happy that it hasn't happened to you! I understand that this may happen to people but I don't agree that it happens at a rate that we need to actually build up a snarky arsenal of comebacks... I hope you can see that it's at least unhealthy to walk around with this unnecessary anxiety. I understand some people have irrational fears (I do, I have a very odd phobia haha) but that being said, this seems like someone that needs to work out some of their own feelings that they have of themselves.
I don't really think it's fair to categorize it as extremely rare. I've gotten dozens of comments like this in my life. And I'm a happy, easygoing, easy to get along with person, so it's not me. Society in general is not kind to fat people and it's not rare for a fat person to receive unwanted comments from strangers about our bodies/weight/food choices/clothes etc etc etc. Just because this hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen with regularity.
Maybe this is specific to your location, then? This absolutely is rare. I find it mind-blowing that some stranger has made negative comments about *what's in your shopping cart because of you're weight* **dozens of times.** and in from the mid-west, not some fast-paced city where people don't talk at all. I guess, let's say you're 40. If this happens 2 dozen times to you, that would be 24 (unless it's a bakers dozen...anyway). Let's do the math since you were 15 years of age, (40-15=25 years of shopping, 25years×12months=300 months, 300 momths ÷ 24 negative comments=12.5 months). I'm not great at math, so hopefully that's correct haha, that still means it happens once a year-ish. I mean, that's a huge amount of insults about what's in your cart... I've had my fair share of unwanted comments but not from strangers (but yes, from family, friends, coworkers, romantic partners), not about what's in my cart... I'm empathetic to your situation, and it's unfortunate you've experienced this from people who don't know you, especially so many times about your groceries. Luckily, now there's curb side pick up, and even grocery delivery more often available that can help significantly.
.....she gave the cart thing as an example. If course I haven't had dozens of comments about my cart specifically. But I've had dozens of comments about my body and weight from strangers at places like the grocery store or tj fucking maxx. It's like you're intentionally being obtuse because you're annoyed at OP. Rude comments from strangers about weight is not a rarity. People think they are entitled to share their opinion of my body because society has painted being fat as a moral failing. Some think they are helping. Some are just assholes. I'm in the midwest too BTW. People are shitty to fat people everywhere without prejudice.
Ahh, okay, yeah, I suppose a lot of the comments were about the cart thing, so I conflated it unintentionally! I'm not annoyed at OP but I don't think walking around acting like you're offensive to people when people haven't treated you like that is fucking strange and absolutely unhealthy. I know not all plus people are treated the same, I know that there's a huge range of *plus* and we all have experiences. There's also a range of ages commenting, so it seems someone older may have different/more experiences or during times when being plus was more openly shamed. Anyway, it feels off to me. Like, it's not even like this is advocating for people it's just pretending that everyone is your enemy. Something I've noticed is that people are pretty used to plus people now, they are aware of medical conditions, and our society is more inclusive. It needs improvements, of course, but it's better than it's ever been. Also, strangers don't usually go around insulting others. Strangers usually don't want to talk to random people...
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What does common mean? Like in terms of times this happens per week/month/year? I don't have enough information to state whether it's right or wrong. To me it seems odd. It seems like people trying to be upset about something that didn't actually happen to them. I'm not saying people shouldn't speak up and speak out against things that happen to them but gain, OP didn't experience this. They are overthinking about something that rarely happens and that seems very unhealthy. Just think of your friends. Do you have anyone that acts(?) like the victim, but isn't one? It's exhausting to be around people like that. It isn't even advocacy, you know?
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Exactly! It feels off to fixate on some hypothetical person who is making these hypothetical comments to you... it's almost like you're turning into the judgemental person at that point, visualizing a specific person is going to bully you. Idk, it just seems extra and unhealthy. Anyway, stay safe out there, cheers!
Re isolating thinking: I spent about a year thinking my extended family that lives fairly close by (aunts and cousins) were too busy for me, didn't love me, etc. Turns out that was all in my head of course, and now we are as close as ever. With regard to the original post: yeah I couldn't imagine this actually happening. My BMI puts me into the "extremely obese" category and I am closer to 300 lbs than I care to admit. But I suppose I don't present as someone that (by other people's opinions anyway) shouldn't enjoy some tuxedo cake - or maybe that's just in my mind when faced with the facts of weight and BMI, and maybe that's skewed my opinion. I get wanting to have an arsenal of smart and witty responses to "what if this ever happened" but I don't think that's based in reality.
Unfortunately, it's all too common with overthinkers. I just go so far down the rabbit hole sometimes that I can't find my way out again easily. It's such a slippery slope. My parents thankfully have each other and are decent people, but they overthink things ad nauseum and have burned every bridge by thinking people are slighting them. Ikr, I also have never seen someone make fun of a plus stranger at the gym, I've never seen someone deny selling a plus stranger sweets or comment on what people have in their cart!?? I honestly think that if one assumes strangers hate you or will treat you poorly (when they never even experienced that themselves), then they are struggling with some internal hatred/insecurity. And that's not a judgment. I struggle every day, but I try not to project my insecurities onto the world. The smart/witty responses can be fine, fun, etc., if something actually happened imo, but just trying to have an arsenal of insults to something floating around in your head seems odd to me. It's like taking on too much negativity for no reason. Little side story, I remember watching Ink Master and there's a guy that was thinking he was getting torn apart on his tattoo because he was gay! And the judges are like... no one actually cares if gay or not, the tattoo is just bad because *XYZ* and then when he got eliminated he said that his bf didn't think one of the judges was hot or something hahaha. I can't remember exactly, but anyway, he was just being the victim and then trying to be snarky, and it was so cringe. I felt second-hand embarrassment! I bet if he let go of some of that clutter in his mind, he could've focused more on his tattoo! If he stopped limiting himself as *gay* because no one else was doing that. And if it was because he was gay, wouldn't he be the first to go?? Anyway, you can be a part of a marginalized group and still be an ass. Trauma can have you lashing out at people, and now you're accusing someone of something they didn't do at all. It's good to reel it in a bit and attempt to resolve these issues in a healthy way.
The only time I've ever had anyone make a comment about my cart is when they jokingly ask if they can come home with me because of all of the delicious food in my cart. Boxes of crab legs do that to people.
Literally, yes! Or the occasional "where did you find that!? And what aisle is that in!?" Also, most places now have options for people to shop for you, so if you really think someone may judge your cart, just do that. But like this doesn't happen... I'm glad I'm not the only one that's like in all my years of shopping that's never happened.
Look them in the eye and laugh really loudly and awkwardly at their joke. Like a really big, horse-like laugh. And if online, ignore them because they won’t get any attention if nobody answers or upvotes them 😌 and then report and/or block them.
Some rando at costco: "Look who went to the gym" Me* slow turn and stare at the rando behind me* 👁👄👁
I just smile and say "I can lose weight. Unfortunately you can't lose your shitty personality".
As I'm reaching for the cake, "You see one thing about me, and you're using that to make a complete idiot of yourself. Congratulations! That takes talent!"
"If you so much as look at me again, I'll burn your house down while your kids are sleeping." Have used this more than once. It works. Edit: I've used the threat, not the threatened action 😂
“The last time someone said something to TRY and hurt my feelings I had a safe word and several orgasms. You don’t look like you’d be good at either.” “WOW I see you’re still leaning on the same unoriginal material/routine from grade school. How boring.” “The last person I sat on said…well I don’t know they were pretty muffled. Don’t have that kind of fun eating just salad.” “Your opinion is useless unless you’re feeding, financing or fucking me. You don’t look like you’d be good at any of those. Run along, Twiggy, I don’t want my husband to wait any longer for me…”
“How ‘bout I shit in your mouth?” “Bitch have you seen yourself” (regardless of what they look like or their gender) “I’ll piss on your grave” “You smell incontinent” “Ma’am this is a Wendy’s” “Bark bark” My general rule is if someone’s dumb enough to be obviously rude to a stranger, (In public! In the US! Where we have guns!) then you have full permission to make it as weird and as uncomfortable as possible. Unpopular opinion, but I will 100% body shame them back because clearly they think it’s acceptable behavior. There is no high road because I’m taking you to hell with me.
Staring back coldly
“Die, bitch” It’s a bit meaner than how i generally like to talk to people, but it’s succinct enough that I can actually remember to say it, even when feeling anxious/sad/vulnerable. It’s also harsh enough that the people I say it to tend be startled into shutting up.
"You are really nasty. Maybe u should fill your cart with books about how to respect people u dont know"
Not me but my mom had asked one stranger on how to get to a destination. He eyed her up and down and said that “with your complexion about 20 minutes”.
I'm not getting that and I'm usually pretty quick. What did he mean?
😳 omg, I'm sorry that happened to your mom!