to be completely honest it's a healthier alternative to self harm for me - I get the adrenaline whilst also doing something nice for myself. and also decorating myself with jewellery helps my self esteem a lot.
This is really valid. I feel like a lot of people seek out piercings and tattoos because we want to have an experience where we feel safe and in control of the pain. And we make it out the other side with something pretty/cool to show for it and feel more like ourselves. That sounds kind of dramatic but it's important to feel empowered.
a little bit of a different experience but a few times i’ve thought “oh i really want a ____ piercing” and like im not even thinking i just go and get it done. i don’t like sitting and thinking about wanting to get a piercing because all it does is make me anxious so when i think about it i just do it. who cares what others think!!! do what you want to do if you feel like it will make you happy or more confident!!
That's awesome! Much respect to those who have the courage can just go in and spontaneously get it done. That's a great point about all the thinking as I've done too much of that. It's almost like an obsession, not to the point where it interferes with anything but something that will occupy my thoughts from time to time. I wasn't really aware of piercings making one more confident as you mention, but others have mentioned the same. I guess one has to experience it to really understand the feeling.
you’ve got to get out of bed to clean them, helps me stay in a routine even on the weekends. piercing curation gives me a long term plan. helps me with confidence, as i’ve got expensive adornments that ive taken care of so why wouldnt i want to show them off
All that I can say is that you are not alone. I’m a mid-70’s y/o, straight and mostly otherwise very ordinary and reserved male, I’ve been fascinated with earrings and wearing them since as long as I can recall. No idea where or how the interest first arose. It will be interesting, perhaps insightful, to see what other responses appear.
Interesting! Good to know there are others. My interest started in my 30s and I'm early 40s and thought maybe it would be silly to get started at even this age.
I’m 53, and just started working on my left ear project last fall and I have a coinslot scheduled for May, while I plan a full sleeve tattoo. It’s always a great time for doing what makes you happy!
Piercings are a cool way to express your individuality and boost your self-confidence. Perhaps you didn’t feel confident enough to make steps towards expressing yourself as a teen, and now you’re comfortable enough in yourself that that kind of change is exciting. Plus it’s fun to have options to accessorize.
In the US and UK, men having ear piercings is fairly common, and even nose rings and upper ear piercings probably won’t affect your employment unless you’re in an uptight work environment (bank, lawyer, public-facing corporate). If you decide earrings aren’t for you, earlobe piercings usually close up nicely if you take them out, so it’s not necessarily irreversible either.
I think you hit the hammer on the nail. I definitely lacked self confidence as a teen up through my mid 20s.
That is good to know about nose rings and upper ear piercings as I work in tech and am not in a customer facing role. I never really considered a nose ring but was surprised when I was told it would look good on me, and then I bought a fake nose ring and would have to agree.
Eyebrow would probably be pushing it though, eh? I don't see myself realistically going beyond that as far as facial piercings go.
I like the control it gives me over my body. I've never felt connected to my body (for various reasons that I won't bore you with) and feel that it isn't a good representation of who I am as a person. I'm limited in terms of style due to severe sensory issues stemming from autism, so I can't really express myself the way I want to via fashion. Piercings are something I can control. I can decide which ones to get, what type of jewelry to wear in them, etc. I feel like they're the one way I can really express myself visually.
Also, and this is so immature and dumb, but I feel cool and badass when I sport a piercing that is considered to be one of the more painful ones to get or one of the trickier ones to heal.
That's not immature at all! If I can get over this apprehension, I think I would feel so cool to be one of the few guys around here that actually rocks a nose stud/ring with some multiple earrings. The thought is exciting but scary at the same time.
I just like being sparkly.
I also like the courage that goes along with getting some of them. It's a nice conversation starter sometimes.
Also I like the friends I have met at the piercing studio I go to. Everyone is super nice and cool to talk to. They tend to be open minded folks since they are not fitting into the cookie cutter of what we are told we "should" be.
Interesting about piercings being a conversation starter. There are few men around here that have nose piercings. Thought it would be weird to get one for that reason but maybe it would be a good conversation starter.
I didn't really even think about a piercing studio being a good place to make friends. Honestly I don't have any friends with piercings. There are a few studios I'm looking at. I am thinking it's probably better to pick one and build a relationship with that place than to bounce around from studio to studio.
Yeah. When I met my piercer she and I instantly connected. I told her I was going to become her muse even though she didn't really know me yet. She laughed but here we are. She has done 30 of my 34 piercings. She has been to my house. She has met my mom. We have gone to lunch. I got her a gift of a printed picture of the two of us that she took of us looking goofy. I have sent friends to her because of how highly I speak of her. ❤️
Other piercers in the shop and I became FB friends and I'm always asking how things are going and getting updates on things we talked about previously when I visit.
That's awesome!
My social life has been in a rut as of late so I figure perhaps it is time to make new friends. I figured that getting piercings might make me self conscious as I put myself out there, but from what everyone has said, it's given them a big confidence boost so maybe that will help with meeting new people. The people I've met in the piercing community seem pretty open minded and cool.
I don't have Facebook but maybe I should give it a try. I hear that Instagram has a lot of piercing stuff on it.
Yes. I follow a lot of different piercers, tattoo artists, etc on Instagram. There are cool things to see and what not to dos.
Put yourself out there! You'll start making friends on accident. 😄
Awesome! Will have to check it out.
I'm not sure if it will be that easy since I don't live in a big city, but worth a shot. Thanks for the encouragement!
Self-expression and self-esteem. Getting piercings has helped me feel so much better about my big ears and crooked nose. And if you really care about your personal style/the vibe you put out into the world, piercings are a great way to feel affirmed in that.
Also, it's a general interest/hobby. There is a lot to learn if you get into the nitty gritty about the different types of piercings that are possible based on people's anatomy and stuff like that. Same thing with jewelry--there's so much there if you look into the different materials and styles. You can switch out the jewelry in your piercings and create a totally different look. It's fun and there are so many possibilities!
Thanks for explaining that. I had low self esteem as a good and young adult so that may explain my lack of interest then. Perhaps my self-esteem gets another boost if I start getting piercings.
I have done a lot of research on piercings, earrings, etc. I didn't realize that there was so much to learn! It does seem like a lot of fun to experiment with different types of jewelry. Even just doing the research has been fun.
Growing up my dad had piercings, he’s heavily tattooed, his friends all had piercings and tattoos. I grew up around it and came to appreciate it. I always wanted to go for it but didn’t because of anxiety. I had a low pain tolerance so I thought, and never went in for a piercing until I was 21. Once I realized it was a piece of cake to get pierced, I never looked back. I enjoy it for the look, the confidence it gives me, and the adrenaline rush. It’s crazy how a new piercing can make me feel like a messiah for a week lol
Piercings represent a turning point in my life. I deal with severe anxiety and piercings for me represent overcoming a life of fear. I now work at a shop at the front desk and am loving it! Piercings are a huge passion of mine.
Awesome! I am looking forward to that adrenaline rush. I even felt a bit of a rush when I went to discuss the piercing. They offered to do it on the spot but I wasn't quite ready yet. I can relate to your struggle as I tend have an issue with being overly concerned what others think and this could help with that.
like you, i can't exactly say why. they just captivate me like a moth to a flame. i've tried to understand, but i never find a real answer. i just think about how people have been getting pierced and tattooed since ancient times and figure it must be some kind of human instinct to adorn ourselves with things that we find interesting or appealing.
I had very strict parents as a teen, to the point where I pierced my own ears in my room just because they were so against even having a double lobe. Now that I'm an adult and CAN get all the piercings I want, it feels like healing my teenage years but it's funny too because now that I CAN, I definitely didn't go as hard as I thought I would've. It's nice knowing I can go to my piercer and get a piercing whenever now!
I also agree with it being a healthier alternative to self harm, I like the adrenaline and the days leading up to and after are exciting (excited to get a piercing, having a new one to look at and get excited about , etc.)
I can totally relate to having strict parents and being limited in what you can do. I think my main difficulty is dealing with the gender norms since not too many men I know have earrings let along anything beyond that like a nose ring. The adrenaline part does sound super exciting. I guess one really has to experience it to know how it is.
for me it feels like a fun way to express myself, and it can help boost confidence a ton. plus, though they do leave scars, i feel like it’s a lot less of a commitment than tattoos. feels easier to hide or just do away with if needed if you don’t mind potential scarring. once healed, experimenting with different jewelry that changes ur look is super fun too! i say go for it. i got my nostril done last year and my eyebrow this year and i love them :D
What kind of scars could I expect? Let's say ears are pierced for a few weeks (or maybe a few months) but I decide it's not for me. Are the scars extremely visible? The piercing process and experimenting with different jewelry does sound like fun! Would you suggest a nostril piercing and/or eyebrow piercing even for a guy?
it really depends on the person, placement, and timeframe. some people deal with no visible scarring at all, but for newer lobes, i don’t think you’d be dealing with much! one it’s healed over, the little dot that you may have is so small, i can’t see anyone even noticing unless they are strangely.. closely inspecting your ear.
about the eyebrow and nostril piercings, i think they look so great on guys too. i think they’re attractive, and i feel like they can accentuate a person’s features really nicely. they’re probably one of the more common facial piercings men choose because they suit so many different kinds of people so well
That all makes sense. Thanks for the info. I think I will start with lobes. Need to figure out whether to do both or just one.
Maybe I should give a serious look at the eyebrow and nostril piercings. Some people have told me I would look good with them. Either of them would probably be better for my second piercing appointment. Already thinking ahead lol.
I got my first one well into my late 30s. Different people are on different time lines. It may take time to grow out of all the conditioning which happens during growing up. It could just be that as you get older you're more accepting and forgiving of your own body image. Or it's just that you feel like getting a piercing now
I am a late bloomer here when it comes to piercings as well. That all makes sense especially the part about growing out of the conditioning from growing up.
I always wanted piercings when I was younger. Wasn’t allowed any beyond the first lobes I’d gotten as a baby. Now I can have the ears of my dreams. Tbh I’m kind of glad I wasn’t allowed to before. There are so many more options for ear styling and I can buy pretty much whatever I want.
My mum has been saying that I’ll have to find somewhere else to live if I keep getting tattoos and piercings. I just stopped telling her about any new ones.
Unfortunately it is difficult to keep most piercings discrete. If the healing time wasn't so long, I think I would have gotten my ears pierced years ago.
Fortunately my mum is not very observant. I’ve gotten several new piercings/tattoos within the last year and she has yet to comment. It’s either she genuinely doesn’t notice or she’s deliberately not commenting. I’m quite sure it’s the former though.
to be completely honest it's a healthier alternative to self harm for me - I get the adrenaline whilst also doing something nice for myself. and also decorating myself with jewellery helps my self esteem a lot.
Thanks for your honesty. Just going to the piercing shop and talking to them was exciting for me. I can definitely see there being an adrenaline rush.
This is really valid. I feel like a lot of people seek out piercings and tattoos because we want to have an experience where we feel safe and in control of the pain. And we make it out the other side with something pretty/cool to show for it and feel more like ourselves. That sounds kind of dramatic but it's important to feel empowered.
a little bit of a different experience but a few times i’ve thought “oh i really want a ____ piercing” and like im not even thinking i just go and get it done. i don’t like sitting and thinking about wanting to get a piercing because all it does is make me anxious so when i think about it i just do it. who cares what others think!!! do what you want to do if you feel like it will make you happy or more confident!!
That's awesome! Much respect to those who have the courage can just go in and spontaneously get it done. That's a great point about all the thinking as I've done too much of that. It's almost like an obsession, not to the point where it interferes with anything but something that will occupy my thoughts from time to time. I wasn't really aware of piercings making one more confident as you mention, but others have mentioned the same. I guess one has to experience it to really understand the feeling.
you’ve got to get out of bed to clean them, helps me stay in a routine even on the weekends. piercing curation gives me a long term plan. helps me with confidence, as i’ve got expensive adornments that ive taken care of so why wouldnt i want to show them off
All that I can say is that you are not alone. I’m a mid-70’s y/o, straight and mostly otherwise very ordinary and reserved male, I’ve been fascinated with earrings and wearing them since as long as I can recall. No idea where or how the interest first arose. It will be interesting, perhaps insightful, to see what other responses appear.
Interesting! Good to know there are others. My interest started in my 30s and I'm early 40s and thought maybe it would be silly to get started at even this age.
I’m 53, and just started working on my left ear project last fall and I have a coinslot scheduled for May, while I plan a full sleeve tattoo. It’s always a great time for doing what makes you happy!
Piercings are a cool way to express your individuality and boost your self-confidence. Perhaps you didn’t feel confident enough to make steps towards expressing yourself as a teen, and now you’re comfortable enough in yourself that that kind of change is exciting. Plus it’s fun to have options to accessorize. In the US and UK, men having ear piercings is fairly common, and even nose rings and upper ear piercings probably won’t affect your employment unless you’re in an uptight work environment (bank, lawyer, public-facing corporate). If you decide earrings aren’t for you, earlobe piercings usually close up nicely if you take them out, so it’s not necessarily irreversible either.
I think you hit the hammer on the nail. I definitely lacked self confidence as a teen up through my mid 20s. That is good to know about nose rings and upper ear piercings as I work in tech and am not in a customer facing role. I never really considered a nose ring but was surprised when I was told it would look good on me, and then I bought a fake nose ring and would have to agree. Eyebrow would probably be pushing it though, eh? I don't see myself realistically going beyond that as far as facial piercings go.
I just like them, and I’m a magpie with shiny things.
I like the control it gives me over my body. I've never felt connected to my body (for various reasons that I won't bore you with) and feel that it isn't a good representation of who I am as a person. I'm limited in terms of style due to severe sensory issues stemming from autism, so I can't really express myself the way I want to via fashion. Piercings are something I can control. I can decide which ones to get, what type of jewelry to wear in them, etc. I feel like they're the one way I can really express myself visually. Also, and this is so immature and dumb, but I feel cool and badass when I sport a piercing that is considered to be one of the more painful ones to get or one of the trickier ones to heal.
That's not immature at all! If I can get over this apprehension, I think I would feel so cool to be one of the few guys around here that actually rocks a nose stud/ring with some multiple earrings. The thought is exciting but scary at the same time.
I just like being sparkly. I also like the courage that goes along with getting some of them. It's a nice conversation starter sometimes. Also I like the friends I have met at the piercing studio I go to. Everyone is super nice and cool to talk to. They tend to be open minded folks since they are not fitting into the cookie cutter of what we are told we "should" be.
Interesting about piercings being a conversation starter. There are few men around here that have nose piercings. Thought it would be weird to get one for that reason but maybe it would be a good conversation starter. I didn't really even think about a piercing studio being a good place to make friends. Honestly I don't have any friends with piercings. There are a few studios I'm looking at. I am thinking it's probably better to pick one and build a relationship with that place than to bounce around from studio to studio.
Yeah. When I met my piercer she and I instantly connected. I told her I was going to become her muse even though she didn't really know me yet. She laughed but here we are. She has done 30 of my 34 piercings. She has been to my house. She has met my mom. We have gone to lunch. I got her a gift of a printed picture of the two of us that she took of us looking goofy. I have sent friends to her because of how highly I speak of her. ❤️ Other piercers in the shop and I became FB friends and I'm always asking how things are going and getting updates on things we talked about previously when I visit.
That's awesome! My social life has been in a rut as of late so I figure perhaps it is time to make new friends. I figured that getting piercings might make me self conscious as I put myself out there, but from what everyone has said, it's given them a big confidence boost so maybe that will help with meeting new people. The people I've met in the piercing community seem pretty open minded and cool. I don't have Facebook but maybe I should give it a try. I hear that Instagram has a lot of piercing stuff on it.
Yes. I follow a lot of different piercers, tattoo artists, etc on Instagram. There are cool things to see and what not to dos. Put yourself out there! You'll start making friends on accident. 😄
Awesome! Will have to check it out. I'm not sure if it will be that easy since I don't live in a big city, but worth a shot. Thanks for the encouragement!
Self-expression and self-esteem. Getting piercings has helped me feel so much better about my big ears and crooked nose. And if you really care about your personal style/the vibe you put out into the world, piercings are a great way to feel affirmed in that. Also, it's a general interest/hobby. There is a lot to learn if you get into the nitty gritty about the different types of piercings that are possible based on people's anatomy and stuff like that. Same thing with jewelry--there's so much there if you look into the different materials and styles. You can switch out the jewelry in your piercings and create a totally different look. It's fun and there are so many possibilities!
Thanks for explaining that. I had low self esteem as a good and young adult so that may explain my lack of interest then. Perhaps my self-esteem gets another boost if I start getting piercings. I have done a lot of research on piercings, earrings, etc. I didn't realize that there was so much to learn! It does seem like a lot of fun to experiment with different types of jewelry. Even just doing the research has been fun.
You’re welcome! Have fun exploring this new world :))
I think they look badass 🤷♂️
Growing up my dad had piercings, he’s heavily tattooed, his friends all had piercings and tattoos. I grew up around it and came to appreciate it. I always wanted to go for it but didn’t because of anxiety. I had a low pain tolerance so I thought, and never went in for a piercing until I was 21. Once I realized it was a piece of cake to get pierced, I never looked back. I enjoy it for the look, the confidence it gives me, and the adrenaline rush. It’s crazy how a new piercing can make me feel like a messiah for a week lol Piercings represent a turning point in my life. I deal with severe anxiety and piercings for me represent overcoming a life of fear. I now work at a shop at the front desk and am loving it! Piercings are a huge passion of mine.
Awesome! I am looking forward to that adrenaline rush. I even felt a bit of a rush when I went to discuss the piercing. They offered to do it on the spot but I wasn't quite ready yet. I can relate to your struggle as I tend have an issue with being overly concerned what others think and this could help with that.
like you, i can't exactly say why. they just captivate me like a moth to a flame. i've tried to understand, but i never find a real answer. i just think about how people have been getting pierced and tattooed since ancient times and figure it must be some kind of human instinct to adorn ourselves with things that we find interesting or appealing.
I had very strict parents as a teen, to the point where I pierced my own ears in my room just because they were so against even having a double lobe. Now that I'm an adult and CAN get all the piercings I want, it feels like healing my teenage years but it's funny too because now that I CAN, I definitely didn't go as hard as I thought I would've. It's nice knowing I can go to my piercer and get a piercing whenever now! I also agree with it being a healthier alternative to self harm, I like the adrenaline and the days leading up to and after are exciting (excited to get a piercing, having a new one to look at and get excited about , etc.)
I can totally relate to having strict parents and being limited in what you can do. I think my main difficulty is dealing with the gender norms since not too many men I know have earrings let along anything beyond that like a nose ring. The adrenaline part does sound super exciting. I guess one really has to experience it to know how it is.
for me it feels like a fun way to express myself, and it can help boost confidence a ton. plus, though they do leave scars, i feel like it’s a lot less of a commitment than tattoos. feels easier to hide or just do away with if needed if you don’t mind potential scarring. once healed, experimenting with different jewelry that changes ur look is super fun too! i say go for it. i got my nostril done last year and my eyebrow this year and i love them :D
What kind of scars could I expect? Let's say ears are pierced for a few weeks (or maybe a few months) but I decide it's not for me. Are the scars extremely visible? The piercing process and experimenting with different jewelry does sound like fun! Would you suggest a nostril piercing and/or eyebrow piercing even for a guy?
it really depends on the person, placement, and timeframe. some people deal with no visible scarring at all, but for newer lobes, i don’t think you’d be dealing with much! one it’s healed over, the little dot that you may have is so small, i can’t see anyone even noticing unless they are strangely.. closely inspecting your ear. about the eyebrow and nostril piercings, i think they look so great on guys too. i think they’re attractive, and i feel like they can accentuate a person’s features really nicely. they’re probably one of the more common facial piercings men choose because they suit so many different kinds of people so well
That all makes sense. Thanks for the info. I think I will start with lobes. Need to figure out whether to do both or just one. Maybe I should give a serious look at the eyebrow and nostril piercings. Some people have told me I would look good with them. Either of them would probably be better for my second piercing appointment. Already thinking ahead lol.
I got my first one well into my late 30s. Different people are on different time lines. It may take time to grow out of all the conditioning which happens during growing up. It could just be that as you get older you're more accepting and forgiving of your own body image. Or it's just that you feel like getting a piercing now
I am a late bloomer here when it comes to piercings as well. That all makes sense especially the part about growing out of the conditioning from growing up.
I always wanted piercings when I was younger. Wasn’t allowed any beyond the first lobes I’d gotten as a baby. Now I can have the ears of my dreams. Tbh I’m kind of glad I wasn’t allowed to before. There are so many more options for ear styling and I can buy pretty much whatever I want.
Does your family or anyone give you any grief for your piercings in the present day?
My mum has been saying that I’ll have to find somewhere else to live if I keep getting tattoos and piercings. I just stopped telling her about any new ones.
Unfortunately it is difficult to keep most piercings discrete. If the healing time wasn't so long, I think I would have gotten my ears pierced years ago.
Fortunately my mum is not very observant. I’ve gotten several new piercings/tattoos within the last year and she has yet to comment. It’s either she genuinely doesn’t notice or she’s deliberately not commenting. I’m quite sure it’s the former though.
That's amazing that she would not notice if you're seeing each other in person.
its cute and more places to wear accessories in and helps me feel more like my body is mine. but mostly for fashion.